Konn Lavery's Blog: Posts from konnlavery.com, page 30
August 14, 2019
Halloween Book Signing
I’ll be heading over to Chapters Strathcona (Whyte Ave) for a signing of my novels. Drop in for a meet & greet the author, artwork, and of course, the books themselves.
When and Where:
Saturday, October 12 from 11:00am – 4:00pm
Chapters Strathcona
10504 82nd Avenue,
Edmonton, AlbertaT6E 2A4
The post Halloween Book Signing appeared first on Konn Lavery.
Edmonton Comic Expo 2019
Next, I’ll be at the Edmonton Comic Expo with The White Hand.
Location within the expo TBA
When and Where:
20 – 22 September 2019
Edmonton EXPO Centre
Fri: 4:00PM – 9:00PM
Sat: 10:00AM – 7:00PM
Sun: 10:00AM – 5:00PM
The post Edmonton Comic Expo 2019 appeared first on Konn Lavery.
August 4, 2019
Working Smarter
We’re into summer now. Unprocessed Thoughts
was a little later than usual. Same old reasons –crunch time and juggling many
projects. Working smarter has been a big of a learning curve. Still working
lots. However, this month I was able to spend some time away from any work, which
is always a positive thing. You can work too much and not even know it.
Welcome to Another Edition of Unprocessed Thoughts
In June’s Unprocessed Thoughts, I chatted about the launch of The White Hand and learning to work smarter and not harder. That has been a continual learning process over the years while being a freelance graphic designer/web developer and growing an author career. Oh, then there is the attempt of juggling a social life, a relationship and being human. At some point, something is going to give.
Spinning your wheels by working hard isn’t healthy
for you or anyone around you. Your quality of work will go down too. There are
many ways you can adjust your life to make things easier. Leveraging tools and
cutting back on certain activities has given me more time to appreciate the free
moments that I do have. Letting your brain rest is an essential part of the
creative process.
Mental Damnation IV
Fantasy was a big theme for July. I attended the first RPG-a-Thon and finished the first draft of Mental Damnation IV. The dark fantasy series naturally have a higher word count per book than my more recent works, and the chapters are longer. Writing the original three books took years. How would I be able to work on the fourth novel while prepping for the follow up to The White Hand? I had to manage my time better.
View this post on InstagramA post shared by Konn Lavery (@_konnartist) on Jul 11, 2019 at 3:17pm PDT
Working Smarter
The initial chapter outlines, premise, and
character sheets for Mental Damnation IV were drafted using the usual method I
use. Writing the first draft can be done faster. Author
Chris Fox can write 5,000 words an hour. Mind-boggling. There had to be a
way for me to improve my words per hour. The answer was text to speech. This
allowed me to write the first draft of Mental Damnation IV (110,000 words) in 5
weeks. I’ll be sure to write a more detailed blog post about speech to text
technology.
Getaway: Terminus Override!
View this post on InstagramA post shared by Konn Lavery (@_konnartist) on Jul 29, 2019 at 7:47pm PDT
Much like previous years, I attended the
goth/industrial music festival Terminus.
Including the preparty, it is four days of intense, harsh electronics and percussions.
I got to meet Steven Seibold of Standalone/Hate Dept. and see CHANT live. HEALTH
was the big headliner for the festival. This will most likely be the only getaway
I have this year. Again, working smarter and not harder. Taking time off to see
Tricky/A Perfect Circle last year meant I had to hustle big time to get work
done.
I prefer to take the easier route this
year. You can only go so fast before you burn out.
Beer Note: T Verzet Oud Bruin Crasp Berry
Berry beers are generally a good go-to for
me unless they are too sweet. Boy, this one is not. Don’t judge a beer by its
label. I thought this one might have been sweet but gave it a shot and it was
not. This raspberry beer is super sour upon the first sip and has a slight
berry after taste. The first sip is a shock if you don’t know what you’re going
for but quite enjoyable after.
The post Working Smarter appeared first on Konn Lavery.
July 24, 2019
Harvesters
Technological advancements has allowed humanity to join the
stars under a single civilization known as The Society. We left out violent
nature behind, continuing to deepen our understanding of ourselves and the
universe. The Society’s bold progression fails to identify the ghosts of our
past.
Harvesters is July’s flash fiction that brings readers into a sci-fi horror where readers are joining a
worker in The Society. Enjoy the story in written word, audio, artwork and
soundscape.
Harvesters
Duty
We were on the trawler vessel heading to the harvest world.
Just like any other job. I managed the equipment in the docking bay while we
were on route. Two others in our unit joined me. We herded the cattle once they
had been harvested from the ground squad. I never thought much about the job.
My father did this before me, and now this was my role in The Society. That’s
all there was to it. The Society keeps things structured. They ensure humanity’s
survival by improving our wellbeing. So why mess with a good thing?
The trawler vessel rocked side to side as the ceiling lights
flashed – a sign we were entering the atmosphere. I held onto the emergency
handlebar with my right hand, awaiting the oncoming catch. My two other
comrades did as well. The adrenaline. Every time it hit me. I knew what was
coming. The ground squad would bring the cattle here. They always acted up. Our
unit had to be extremely focused on coordinating the safety of everyone on the
ship.
The ship stabilized its motion. My grip relaxed on the
handle as we entered the atmosphere of the planet. I eyed six head-to-toed
armoured units –the ground squad – marching into the shuttlecraft, holding
their pulse cannons. The craft’s door closed up once the last of the units
entered. The ship lifted off the ground as the trawler vessel opened the docking
door.
A question entered my mind – what was the ground like? The
ground squad knew. From my knowledge in school, I knew it was infested with
disease, rubble, and pollution. Wildlife doesn’t survive there, except for the
cattle. They seem to flourish, luckily for us. The cattle were vital to The Society.
Their biological makeup is a crucial component of our scientific progression.
Their genetics help us understand ours and improve our own DNA.
The shuttlecraft roared as it zoomed out of the trawler
vessel and exited into the grey-cloud covered atmosphere, disappearing into the
distance. The harvest had begun. Other than the foggy sky, once I did get
another view of the plant. I knew it was blue and brown when I saw it from the
cockpit. That is all I’ve seen. I had to return to my station shortly after as
we were entering the orbit. It was probably for the better.
Anticipation
Now, I waited for the ground squad to return. My left hand
clutched the black electro-spear I held, waiting to shock any cattle that acted
out in the cages. It made my heart race thinking about the potential action.
They had hands. They could operate basic tools. As much as my curiosity about
the planet torments the back of my mind, I know I wouldn’t want to be in the
ground squad, gathering the beasts. They’re dangerous if not harvested carefully.
I’ve seen the footage in school. The paintings. The portrayal in media. Their hair
is riddled with filth and their nature violent. As much as I’d like to be a
part of the ground squad and partake in harvesting some of the cattle, I can
accept my duty in The Society.
The ground squad didn’t take long to come back to the trawler
vessel. The docking station remained open for the duration of the departure.
The intercom erupted, with the pilot’s distorted voice coming through the
speakers saying, “ground squad arrival. Shepherds initiate.”
The lights above turned blue. The other two shepherds
marched forward. I followed directly after them as the shuttlecraft came into
view. The craft carefully landed itself back into the trawler vessel as the
docking door moved upward to its closed position.
“Positions!” shouted the shepherd to my left – our squad
leader.
Shepherds
I held my spear with both hands as the shuttle landed down.
The engines underneath the craft turned off, leaving us in a moment of silence.
The back of the ship hissed, and the hatch moved upward. Three ground squad
members were on each side of the interior with a large steel crate in the
center. It levitated off the ground. Small holes wrapped around the middle of
the cage, underneath the semi-translucent forcefield surrounding the container.
The ground squad marched forward, and the cage hovered ahead with the unit. Groaning
echoed from inside the cage. Snarls and roars. They were in there. Angry.
Hateful.
A dark silhouette appeared from behind the last ground squad
member. The motion was too fast for me to know what it was. The black blob was
crouching. It moved closer. There wasn’t supposed to be a seventh squad member.
That was cattle.
“Free run!” I shouted while rushing forward.
“Free run!” shouted the other shepherds, joining me in the
pursuit.
The ground squad spun around, raising their pulse cannons. The
three on the opposite side hurried around the cage to face the threat. The
other three fired, missing the silhouette by a fraction. The plasmablasts soared
past the being, highlighting a humanoid creature standing upright wearing
pants. Muscular arms ended in five-fingered hands, holding a pistol. The being fired
the weapon at the closest ground squad unit. The scene lit up as the bullet
ripped through the gun’s chamber and into the chest of our comrade.
Time slowed down as I ran. My motion was in autopilot. My
mind was left in disarray, seeing the scowling face of the cattle in full light.
The beige dirt-covered skin. Two eyes. Blue irises. Long black hair. It was human.
The cattle fired again, missing the next ground squad in
front of him. They fired back. One of the pulse cannons’ plasma blasts hit him in
the chest, throwing him back. The two shepherds and I arrived directly in front
of the cattle. Our squad leader lunged his electro-spear at the being’s chest, causing
his entire system to jolt and fall down lifeless.
I stared down at the cattle. At least I thought it was. No. It couldn’t be. I was looking down at a fellow human. Sure, the physique was less toned, and he was slightly smaller. That aside, it was undoubtfully human. An unmodified version.
The post Harvesters appeared first on Konn Lavery.
July 17, 2019
International Bestselling Author Kathrin Hutson Releases the First Installment of Dystopian Sci-Fi Series, Sleepwater Beat
This month’s guest author is Kathrin Hutson. She has been
writing fantasy and sci-fi since 2000 because she cannot get enough of tainted
heroes, excruciating circumstances, impossible decisions, and Happy Never
Afters. She also works as a ghost writer in almost all genres and as an editor
through KLH CreateWorks. She lives with her husband, daughter and their two
dogs. Let’s learn more about her writing by welcoming Kathrin Hutson to the
blog!
Thank you for joining us Kathrin Hutson, congratulations on the release! Can you give us a brief introduction to yourself?
Yes! As far as general stuff about my writing is concerned, I go dark. Some people might ask, “When there’s already so much craziness in the world, why would you add more to it?” To this, my answer is pretty simple (and still so easy to forget within all that craziness): It’s not only about the darkness. More importantly, it’s also about how my characters (and people in general) grow and shift (or not) from within that darkness. Or in spite of it. I don’t write happy endings, and for one unsuspecting reader who took a chance on one of my books, “It wasn’t happy enough.” And I wear that like a badge of honor. But I do write hopeful endings, transformative endings, self-aware and self-empowered endings. For me, the fun isn’t in wrapping everything up in a little bow and calling it “happy”. It’s about reaching the darkest places, exploring them with painful clarity, and illuminating all the possibilities that arise from within.
Now that we went down that road… people seem constantly surprised in meeting me or speaking with me that I am a smiley, laughing, super approachable, ridiculously optimistic person. I wasn’t always that way, that’s for sure. Every person has their darkness and their light. Somehow, I think I’ve managed to siphon all my darkness into my career as an author, and everything that’s left fills my real life with joy and peace and excitement for where I am now and where I’m going in the future. That’s not always easy to maintain, either, with a two-year-old who’s smarter and more stubborn than both of her parents combined (and my husband and I can be a real handful). A few people have also called me a hippie, which is cool too. I’m pretty sure if I’d been born 45 years earlier, I would’ve rocked the 70s! And I do very much enjoy a well-aged bourbon.
Tell us about your new novel, Sleepwater Beat, and how you came
about creating this series?
Sleepwater Beat was my first attempt at two things:
1) Dystopian Sci-Fi (or really anything not Dark Fantasy); and 2) an
experimental writing style for a long short story of 35,000 words. #2 was a
complete failure. I had this crazy idea for “the beat”, which is what these
characters call this series’ brand of superpowers—eliciting physical responses
in those who hear a very special kind of speaking. Then I thought I
could recreate the effect of storytelling-by-vignette a la Memento, only
why go backward in time chronologically? Let’s try mixing up the timeline so it
makes no sense! That’s what I did. I literally listed each scene on one line,
cut them up into little strips, and rearranged them so that no two scenes were
placed chronologically together (either backward or forward) with no
discernible pattern. It was… interesting. My writing workshop at the time,
Charleston Writers Group in Charleston, SC, said pretty much the same. Great
writing, interesting concept, wtf is going on with the order of these scenes,
and oh, hey! You should turn this into a novel!
Their enthusiasm was so contagious, I did exactly that. I
didn’t think I had it in me to turn this awkward short story into a novel.
There was so much literary surgery that it took me two years. And a lot
of self-doubt, frustration, terror, and pretty much all the emotions I had never
felt about any other work I’ve ever written. I did keep most of the “flashback”
scenes from Leo’s past and a bit of an unconventional story method in Part 1
(alternating between the present storyline, those flashbacks of her life, and
short interludes of dystopian world-building revealed through news-report transcripts.
So far, I’ve heard that I captured the “fake news” vibe perfectly. I’ll let
readers speculate who that was modeled after…) When I’d included all
those and strung them together into the narrative of Leo’s present, I hit a bit
of a wall with continuing. Because I realized that Sleepwater Beat as a
novel was actually a form of me telling my own story.
That was where the terror really came from. I have never put
as much of myself into a main character as I put into Leo Tieffler. I’m
definitely not as brooding and anti-social (thank goodness), and I really do
care what people think of me personally despite having developed a thick skin
necessary for any author. Of course, the details are different, but the
parallels were really astounding. Many of the characters from Leo’s past were
inspired by real people in my life. So many of those flashback scenes were
inspired by real events I did actually experience. And many, many
relationships throughout the book reflect in a staggering way a select few
relationships I’ve had myself during my relatively short life. At one point, I
thought I was writing myself and was terrified that it would seriously
detract from the story. At another point, I struggled desperately to write all
the social and economic commentary touched upon through this book as subtly as
possible… before agonizing over the possibility that it just wasn’t screaming
loud enough.
Now that it’s out, now that I’ve gotten feedback from
readers and fans (and not just my alpha and beta readers, whose opinions I
value quite a lot), I think I’ve done a pretty decent job of mixing it all up
to let Sleepwater Beat be its own story. And it very much is.
How many books can readers expect to find in your new sci-fi series? Or is
this a secret?
Well, this is Book 1 of the Blue Helix series, so of course
there will be more. I already have Book 2 brewing in the primordial ooze of
creativity that is my writing mind. All I can say for sure is that there will
be at least three books. Most likely more. And as a pantser, I can’t really say
more than that, because I won’t have any clue myself until I sit down and put
it all to paper. When it feels finished and the characters quit begging for
their stories to be exposed, then I guess it’ll be done.
You have a love of writing wild characters, and your new series features an
LGBT component, how did come to be?
The first answer for that is that it felt right for the
story. Leo isn’t a “wild character”, by any means. The fact that I wrote an
LGBT main character isn’t particularly wild either. But she encounters other
wild characters, and she gets flung into some pretty wild circumstances. I also
wanted her to be real—existing within that gray area encompassing where she
belongs, where her loyalties lie, who she trusts, what she’s willing to do, how
far she’s willing to go… and, yes, who she’s attracted to. I also wanted to
give her a little bit of a break within all her struggles by adding something
like a love interest. It’s not very romantic (romance exists in all of my work,
but none of it is particularly “romantic”. That’s the one genre I just can’t
pin down, and I’m totally okay with that). In the original failed short-story
experiment, Leo and her “mentor” Karl (for lack of a better term) with the
organization called Sleepwater had a bit of a fling. Honestly, it felt like
shoving two strangers’ heads together and saying, “Great, now kiss each other.
And enjoy it!” So I dropped that in the novel.
Leo’s romantic relationship with Alex, a character from her
past, was there to show the side of this main character that wanted to be a
protector—someone who’d never been cared for herself and who knew the
consequences of being abandoned by those who were supposed to look after her.
She wanted to be that for Alex so badly that she took it a little too far, and
then her fear of losing Alex became the self-fulfilling prophecy of becoming
just like the people in her life who’d dropped Leo without a second thought.
Leo’s “romantic” relationship with Kaylee, another character
with the beat who’s a part of Sleepwater, is definitely not as easily defined.
Mostly, Kaylee is the first person who’s ever wanted something very specific
from Leo for an incredibly vague reason. At first. And Leo comes to recognize
that a part of her likes being told what to do (by Kaylee) when there doesn’t
seem to be any ulterior motives. Ulterior motives are all Leo has really ever
known, so the brutal honesty and the unapologetic requests are refreshing for
her.
Putting all these things into the story with Leo as a
heterosexual, cisgender woman would have detracted from her character in so
many ways, especially when it comes down to the fact that nothing about her
existence—not even where she’s from and who her parents were—is black and
white. And in a way, it would have felt like devaluing her character growth and
putting through more than a few rounds of sexual objectification. Neither of
those are my cup of tea.
Short answer? I wrote more of myself into Leo than I’ve
written into any of my other characters to date.
Tell us about Leo, the hero of the story.
Well, now that I answered most of this question in my last
diatribe…
Leo is independent and self-reliant by necessity. What’s her
ability? When she spins a beat, she can make anyone who hears her believe
absolutely whatever she says, even if it’s wildly impossible (and some of it
is). She’s put up so many walls around herself in so many different layers as
nothing more than a defense mechanism for her own survival. Her mother left
when she was three. Her father was one of the greatest minds in technological
advancement who became addicted to the same new drug that propelled his career
into fame. And it killed him.
She wants everyone to think that she doesn’t give a crap
what they think. When she meets Karl and Sleepwater, that “tough girl” façade
grows harder and harder to maintain. Even when she’s forced into gunfights and
runs from government agencies and gets kidnapped. This woman definitely has a
conscience, but she grew up with the repetitious misfortune of finding nothing
but pain whenever she followed it. She does the wrong things with the right
intentions and has to learn to reconcile them. And in the end, all she really
wants is to be accepted, respected, and understood for who she is. Not
for her beat. Not for what she’s done or the seemingly unforgiveable mistakes
she’s made. Not for who her parents were. And most of the time, she doesn’t
even know who she herself really is. So she has to figure it out.
Honestly, she was inspired by Stieg Larsson’s character
Lisbeth Salander in the Millennium series (who I fell head-over-heels in love
with when I saw the Swedish version of the film and Noomi Rapace as the star).
So if we took away Lisbeth Salander’s goth exterior and traded her hacking
superpowers for the ability to make people believe whatever she says, we
get Leo. Without the solving-murders part.
You mention you’ve been creating worlds since your 10th
birthday, has any of the older world building work its way into your published
work?
I actually created the world for The Unclaimed trilogy (and
my upcoming Vessel Broken series) far before that trilogy became what it is. I
think I’d written the first two chapters somewhere in high school, then dropped
it because it just didn’t make sense. When I picked it back up again in 2017, I
was so ready to re-explore what I’d created and finally write Kherron’s
story. I also had to completely rewrite those first two chapters, but it was so
worth it.
The majority of the worlds from my amateur writing days
(which will never see the light of day) will remain buried in a dusty box in my
basement. I took what I needed from them when I created The Unclaimed trilogy,
and I get to further explore that world with the Vessel Broken series. But for
everything else, my highly sophisticated, painstakingly perfected method of
“writing by the seat of my pants” and figuring it out as I go along means that
all the new worlds are just that—brand new. And I don’t create them unless I’m
going to write and publish the stories that take place there.
What comes first for you, world building or character creation? Or is it a
mishmash of both?
Mishmash of everything! The only thing that comes first for
me is the first word, then the first sentence. Including something like the
first page, that is the hardest part of writing for me. The blank slate.
Even when I have all the ideas in my head ready to be unloaded onto paper (or
my computer).
So I guess what actually comes first is the “idea”. It’s
only ever a theme, or one character in one scene because I like the way they
laughed in the face of it, or a setting because it just feels like the right
amount of mystically creepy. I usually let those things percolate in my head
for anywhere from six months to two years, and when they feel fully brewed (and
I have an opening in my timeline for writing new projects), I’ll sit down to
begin. Outlining, plotting, character sketches, and world-building before
sitting down to write the actual story is an incredibly boring process for me.
Every writer has their own method, and those things just aren’t a part of mine.
Believe me, I’ve tried. I know it’s because the thing I love most about writing
fiction is the act of discovering these characters and these worlds for the
first time myself during the writing of them. I get to learn who they
are as the ideas just kind of pour through my head and onto the page, and tying
together all the woven threads I leave for myself along the way is like playing
my own scavenger hunt. More often than not, the characters turn out to do, say,
and be completely different things than I originally intended, so an outline or
a sketch would have been pointless anyway.
In the case of the Sleepwater Beat series, do you do a lot of
research for your world building?
Oh, man. Do I do a lot of research…
Research is something I absolutely loathe. It sucks
away the energetic brilliance of building worlds and being in “the zone” of
writing and working with magic (for me, that magic is crafting story). I’ve
adopted the use of placeholders for this, which means I can keep up my writing
momentum to get to the next part of the story already, and I don’t have to tear
myself out of the process to go Google something. But I still have to go back
after the first draft for that research.
Sleepwater Beat is the first book I ever wrote that
actually required any amount of research at all. Obviously, with my Dark
Fantasy books, there really wasn’t any research necessary (okay, except for
forges and blacksmithing and something about the ingredients of the very first
gunpowder). Those worlds are magical and mystical and do not adhere to the
physical laws of our world. Sleepwater Beat, as a very near-future
Dystopian Sci-Fi, is set in our world. So there was lots and lots
of research. It was awful.
I think at one point, I’d spent an hour looking up
electromagnetic pulses (EMPs) to use as a plot device in this book. Then when I
actually got to the place where I’d intended to use it, the story had changed
so much that there isn’t even an odor of EMPs between the front cover and the
back. Which is why I now do my research after the writing’s complete.
Let’s thank Kathrin
Hutson for joining us again to the blog!
You can find her new novel on her website, amazon, and the
various links below:
Website: kathrinhutsonfiction.comAmazon: amazon.com/Kathrin-Hutson/e/B016N498BSTwitter: twitter.com/KLHCreateWorksGoodreads:
goodreads.com/author/show/14541725.Ka...Facebook:
facebook.com/KathrinHutsonFictionInstagram: instagram.com/kathrinhutsonfiction
Thank you so much for having me! I’ve really enjoyed getting
to answer these questions (could you tell?).
The post International Bestselling Author Kathrin Hutson Releases the First Installment of Dystopian Sci-Fi Series, Sleepwater Beat appeared first on Konn Lavery.
July 15, 2019
Just Joshing Episode 275: Konn Lavery
I am pleased to have returned to Just Joshing’s podcast to talk about writing, transmedia storytelling, the big picture of life, human evolution and of course The White Hand.
The post Just Joshing Episode 275: Konn Lavery appeared first on Konn Lavery.
Time to Go Indie Now Episode 40
Welcome to Time to Go Indie Now, Episode 40. We have some great reviews, new releases, a great marketing tip, a flashback interview to celebrate a new release, and an incredible featured filmmaker segment. So we hope you enjoy.
My reading shows up at about 11:40 mark. Give it a watch below!
The post Time to Go Indie Now Episode 40 appeared first on Konn Lavery.
A Darker Side to Him
Literary Titan has welcomed me back to chat about The White Hand Novel. Read the interview on their website. We cover the following:
The White Hand is a genre-crossing novel with elements of a macabre thriller and romance as well. Did you start writing with this in mind, or did this happen organically as you were writing?
How did you create Alastor and Spalding’s characters in a way that contrasted yet still supported the characters development?
What was your inspiration for the setup of the story and how did that help you create the ending?
What is the next book that you are working on and when will it be published?
The post A Darker Side to Him appeared first on Konn Lavery.
June 28, 2019
Behind You
Do you ever get the sense that someone is watching you? It is a pretty common feeling, and most people experience it at some point in their life. Chances are it is just a minor form of paranoia. Sometimes it is not. Sometimes… someone is watching. Or ‘they’ might be the better term. ‘They’ are following.
Behind You is June’s flash fiction that brings readers into a psychological horror of paranoia. Enjoy the story in written word, audio, artwork and soundscape.
Behind You
Paranoia
I used to enjoy life. Outside has so many wonders to see.
The world is much larger than most people give it credit for. Sure, the
Internet has drastically made things smaller by connecting people around the
globe. The Earth itself, however, is astronomical in size. Anyways, exploring
outside is something all of us do as a kid. I know I did. Not so much now. My
mom and dad wouldn’t let me go too far. They always said the streets were
dangerous. I didn’t understand why. It looked like a pretty safe neighbourhood
from what I saw inside of my home. Perhaps I wasn’t visible from the window,
being a small child, peeking out into the dangers.
Now, I understand why my mom would get mad at me if I stared
outside for too long. Or if I wandered too far away from them without
supervision. Mom said there were ugly people in the world. She said there were
horrors out there. I believe her now. There’s a certain level of bliss that you
have when being a kid. The innocence of a child overlooks all of the terrible things
that are in the shadows, in the cracks, or those that are peeking around the
corner. What was that cliché again? Oh yes, the devil is in the details.
Over the years, mom and dad were growing tired. Maybe they let
their guard down, or perhaps they decided that there is no point in fighting
the inevitable. The impending doom. They are always watching. You might
not know exactly where ‘they’ are, but I guarantee they aren’t far behind. You
know that feeling of someone watching you? It’s them. Whether you’re home
alone, or on the sidewalk, or the grocery store, it doesn’t matter – they are
there. They always are. It’s the reason for that tingling feeling on the back.
Your hearing amplifies. It picks up the most subtle of details. Then, when you
turn to look, you see nothing. I’ve dubbed them the Lightless Ones. We’ll get
to that definition.
Most of us just write these experiences off as if there is
nothing there. Easy to do. Just say it’s just our own paranoid delusions that
are confusing us. We’re all a little crazy, some more than others. I sometimes
wonder if I am the craziest of them all. The Lightless Ones started watching me
from a young age. I know that much. I don’t exactly know what they want, even
to this day, after a couple decades on. I’m not the only one aware of them.
Conspiracy theorists, crack monkeys, delusional fools, pick your title, they
know about the Lightless Ones. They all are willing to admit there is something
more to that feeling. The sensation of something being near. The Lightless Ones
are behind you. I know it. You know it now.
First Sighting
It all started when I was in my senior year of high school.
I took the same path as I always did across the football field to the bus stop.
In that field, I saw a man walking on the outside of the fence of the school
property. It was at the corner of my eye. For all I knew it could’ve been a
strand of my long hair that got in my face. It was windy. That’s what I thought
the being was. Yet it seemed to walk with me. The closer I got to the edge of
the school property I got; it was still there. I could easily distinguish limbs
in a walking motion. Yet, this man was as black as my hair – hence the name
‘Lightless Ones.’ I stopped. I looked directly at the man, but they vanished.
It was as if they were never there. I spun around a couple of times, trying to
see where they were. I couldn’t find them. It was weird, but I made the
conclusion that it was just my head playing tricks on me.
The wind-hair theory only lasted a week. More subtle signs
started showing up. In the classroom, I could see someone watching from the
window of the closed door that led into the hallway. Just like in the field, I
could see them from the corner of my eye. When I looked, the person was gone.
Apparently, I was ‘daydreaming’ as my math teacher put it. He said I should
focus more on my grades. I truly tried to. The Lightless Ones kept distracting
me. I don’t think their goal was to have me fail high school, because I
eventually graduated. I didn’t have any remarkable scores, though. Oh well.
Goodbye Family
Dad was the first to die. It was from a heart attack. None
of the neighbours seemed to care too much when my mom was wailing in pain at
the discovery of her husband on the kitchen floor. Poor mom. We had a funeral.
A few relatives that came by, but that is it. A lot of people began to distance
themselves from us as I got older. I didn’t have a lot of friends in high
school. There was Scratchy Jim and Hot Jane. I did have a thing for Hot Jane. I
don’t think she really knew. She always liked the pretty boys. My acne-infused
face probably wasn’t much of a turn on for her. Scratchy Jim and Hot Jane tried
to keep me distracted from the death of my father. It worked for a while, until
my mom took her own life. I’ll always remember the silhouette of my mom hanging
from the ceiling in the garage. That silhouette, a human shape, all black, just
like the Lightless Ones… always at the corner of your eye.
She had left a suicide note. It talked about them, the
Lightless Ones. The silhouettes. The whole letter was about five-and-a-half pages
long. Most of her words seemed like ramblings. Probably because of the empty bottle
of Jamison’s on the floor beside her hanging body. I still have that last note
to me. She mentioned that she saw them all the time. It is why she
wanted to keep me safe indoors. That explained the homeschooling. My dad
convinced her to let me go to high school. He believed it was good for me to
interact with other kids. Mom was too scared and now I know why. In the note, Mom
mentioned that the Lightless Ones spooked my father, causing the heart attack.
My mom was tired and had given up. She apologized greatly in the note and said
how much he loved me. Yeah… she loved me so much she left me to deal with them
on my own.
My parent’s deaths were only a couple months apart. This was
a year after high school. I inherited the house and all of their possessions.
Technically, I was an adult now so I was on my own. I had considered
postsecondary education but was too depressed after their deaths. I continued working
at the grocery store down the road. I took the same route there five days a
week, passing through the neighbourhood, the bar, and the apartment complex.
Mom and dad were gone. I had a home. High School was over. That’s
when I started to see the Lightless Ones more frequently. That tingling
sensation. I swear my ears twitched anytime a rattling sound occurred. I can’t
even make them move – they did that on their own. I would frantically spin
around, trying to see where the sound came from. Sometimes I’d see one of the
Lightless Ones, as always, from the corner of my eye. People would watch me,
thinking I was crazy. At first, I felt ashamed until I realized that they
weren’t just any people. These people were familiars of the Lightless Ones. Or
maybe they weren’t and just wanted to watch a delusional freak spaz out. Either
way, all eyes were on me. Especially when I was shouting at the Lightless Ones to
stop following.
Goodbye Friends
I tried to tell Scratchy Jim and Hot Jane. Scratchy Jim was
a little more open to hearing my story. He’d say he was there for me in that
typical raspy voice of his. Hot Jane wasn’t so accommodating. She had a stud
for her boyfriend and was accepted into post-secondary education in the next
province over. My confessions of seeing the Lightless Ones was the last time I
physically saw Hot Jane. I miss those freckles. She moved with her boyfriend
and started her new life. She had no reason to keep Scratchy Jim or myself around.
Despite the Internet making the world really small, Hot Jane had vanished
entirely. The world is a big place. You can disappear still. It makes me wonder
if she felt sorry for me in high school and was never really my friend.
Scratchy Jim stayed around, at least for a little while. He was one of those
guys that liked to experiment with drugs – of all kinds. It started with snorting
prescription pills, some weed, speeds, and eventually down to the smack road.
That’s when he began to distance himself. He would hang around those heroin dens.
I tried to visit him, but he wasn’t exactly there. My last visit I spotted a
Lightless One in the den and freaked out. Sorry Scratchy Jim.
With Hot Jane gone, and Scratchy Jim chasing the Golden
Dragon, I didn’t have a lot of other people to talk to. I still don’t. My
coworkers at the grocery store were either old people, or they didn’t speak
English. A lot of the other kids from high school had now graduated
postsecondary education or moved away. They wouldn’t want to hang out with
someone like me.
My walks to and from work became more stressful. The
Lightless Ones weren’t just at the corner of my eye anymore. I could see them
walking right past me. They showed up more often late at night. On my walks
home, I’d think it was a person in the dark until I got close enough to them to
realize that light didn’t cast on their forms – they were pitch black. I would
try to walk on the other side of the street as they continued to walk. Eventually,
I’d pass them. It worked a couple of times, and I began to wonder if they were
simply ghosts or something co-existing in our world. Then the Lightless Ones
started to turn around and follow me. They were fast. They’d hit things,
causing loud sounds to echo down the street. I would run down the middle of the
road, keeping as visible as possible. The Lightless Ones didn’t care, they
would chase me until I made it back home. I locked the doors. They waited
outside. I kept the lights off so they wouldn’t know exactly where was. Home
seems to be the only place they didn’t invade. They could only watch.
Forced Seclusion
Eventually, I started to keep the curtains closed all the
time. I did this more frequently in the mornings. The Lightless Ones are easy
to spot during the day due to the high contrast of their black forms and the
sunlit environment. I could maneuver around them, but they would appear around
corners, trees, or in windows. Seeing them in windows confirmed my theory about
the familiars. The Lightless Ones would be beside the humans watching me in the
windows. These people worked for them. The familiars were on the street too.
They’d act like they were looking at their phones or newspapers, but I could
see their eyes. They were watching, taking note, and seeing what was going to do
next. Some of the familiars would follow me to work and act like they were
buying something. That wasn’t going to work on me. My mom warned me about what
they were doing in her note. The familiars wanted to take me to the Lightless
Ones. They want to make me one of the familiars, forever enslaved.
My manager saw my performance at work start to decline. I
had shouted at some of the customers – who are actually familiars – and they filed
complaints against me. My manager changed me over to the night shift so could
stock the shelves and have less interaction with customers. At least there was the
premium pay for nighttime work. The dark was dangerous. The Lightless Ones had
camouflage. I started carrying a knife around with me. I really had no idea if the
Lightless Ones were capable of experiencing physical pain. The worst-case I
could at least attack one of their familiars.
My manager started to give me fewer shifts. Every walk home,
I would firmly grasp my pocketknife that was tucked inside my hoodie. My heart
raced. The Lightless Ones and their familiars would walk around me. I would
shout at them – telling them to stay away from me. I threaten them with my
knife. It worked. Except for one walk home, they were more aggressive. From
every corner, their blackheads peeked out. The windows had familiars watching
me. They were in cars. At the bus stops. They were behind me. I ran as fast as
I could down the road.
I swear that some of the familiars tried to run me over in
their cars. I couldn’t help but wonder how long they have been watching. If the
Lightless Ones were stalking my mom, and she managed to avoid them until her
death, did they stalk my grandmother too? Or my grandfather? I had no idea. I
just knew I had to run. Eventually I made it home, struggling to get my keys
out of my pocket. I dropped them once. Snagging them I found the right key to
the unlock the door. With my hand shaking, I managed to twist it open, pushed
the door aside, and stepped inside. I could feel one of them grabbed hold of my
back. I slammed the door shut and locked it. Panting heavily, I collapsed onto
the floor as tears began to run down my face. They were everywhere.
Best Course of Action
That’s when I decided I couldn’t work anymore. I stopped showing
up for my shifts. My boss must’ve been concerned because the police eventually
showed up at my doorstep. Part of me wondered if they were familiars too, but
they seem to be okay. They interviewed me asking if I was on anything. I wasn’t
on drugs. I’m not that kind of person. I was stable. I had a good sense of
judgment. That’s how I noticed the Lightless Ones. They will drive anyone crazy.
The police determined there was nothing wrong with me and decide to leave me
alone. Now, I could stay safe. I covered every window with curtains and taped
tinfoil to prevent the Lightless Ones from seeing inside. Rarely do go I go
outside. Anytime I take a peek through the glass to the outside world, I see
them. I tried to take photographs, but they always come out blurry. They must
have some sort of electromagnetic field that distorts technology. It makes you
wonder: are they aliens? Other dimensional beings? Or am I merely suffering
from paranoid delusions? I have no answers. I tried to connect with others on
the Internet – the world shrinking device – to see if anyone else has seen the
Lightless Ones. There are similar stories. Some of these people also believe in
Bigfoot. Where else was I going to turn to? It’s not like anyone else locally
saw sees them. At least I can vent to people on message boards. That is one
good thing about the ever-shrinking world, it connects those who are trapped. The
Lightless Onesa choose who they show themselves to. They select specific people
to be their familiars and they sure as hell aren’t going to convert me. I’ll
fight this to the bitter end.
This is where I find myself today. Alone. I document as much of it as I can online. I wonder if the Lightless Ones are getting smarter, or if my judgment is getting worse. Either way, I have had a difficult time determining who is a familiar and who is not. I stay away from the outside world and people. I don’t know who is a familiar. The Lightless Ones also have better forms of camouflage. I’ve seen half human and half otherworldly. Hybrids. They are evolving. I question how much longer can fend them off. As the months go by, I begin to understand why my mom ended her own life. It may be the only route of escape if I don’t want to be absorbed. This is what I contemplate, as I sit on my bathroom floor, writing this note with one sweaty hand, and the other holding my pocketknife.
The post Behind You appeared first on Konn Lavery.
June 26, 2019
Book Launched!
Unlike last month, which was about leisurely time, June’s unprocessed thoughts is the aftermath of having the book launched! The White Hand, a Rutherford Manor novel, is now available. The past couple weeks have been a real whirlwind hence the blog falling on the back burner. Posts have been less frequent, hence why there is only been three per month, so I can spend more time writing on the next book. Now that this book launched, we can get back on track with the blog.
Welcome to another edition of Unprocessed Thoughts
between the VIP launch, the official launch at Audrey’s, and
the Calgary Horror Con, The White Hand has been successful launch. The press
kit, interviews, early access reviews, and award submissions were all organized
and submitted in time for release. Wow. Launching a book is a lot of work. It
makes the writing part seem a lot easier.
Once a book is launched, there’s the post-release effort of
promoting the book. You want to get it in as many hands as possible. The work
never fully stops with a book release. With every new book that is published,
it supports the backlog of previous titles. Each one contributes to your author
career, and your author brand.
Every year that I have pursued writing professionally since
2012, I have grown a little wiser and a little smarter. Always take advice from
those that are more experienced than you. Also learn from your mistakes so you
can avoid them in the future. Be careful not to overanalyze which is the
category I fall under. More often than not, I will overthink about what I did
during the process of a new book. This includes the initial idea, first draft,
editing, prerelease, and post-launch. You can drive yourself mad if you think
about it too much. Realistically all we can do is our best, take notes, and
improve on the next launch. This is why am pleased about the launch of The White
Hand. It is one of the smoothest releases I’ve had to date.
A book launched, what’s next?
Now that The White Hand has been released, I’ve been asking
myself what’s next? If you’ve been following the Instagram or Facebook stories,
you’ll see that I have been busy working on the next book. The about section
has been updated with the status of where it is at. The work that I am putting
in this year is to have an exciting next year. The plan is to have it be a big
push for the author career. It is the start of a new decade in 2020. So why not
make it big?
Working smarter, not harder
in the spirit of learning and growing every year, I am in
the process of finding ways to work smarter and not as hard. It is easy to spin
your wheels and do the grind. When you are grinding, you don’t get a chance to
take a step back and see how you can improve on your workflow. Maybe you don’t
have to metaphorically break your back. This is where I’m at now in 2019. I am finding
the best ways to do the important work and reduce the amount of unnecessary
work.
I’ll have to write a blog post once this experimentation is done.
That way I can share with everyone who is looking to improve their writing process
and career. For now, keep watch on the Instagram stories to see what I’ll be
doing next. Also, the events have been updated see can see where I will be at
the summer. Thank you all for the support.
Beer Note: Red Bison Party Pants Pale Ale
Red Bison Party Pants Pale Ale is light and easily drinkable. It says on
the back to put you in a good mood, and it does. Something that could easily be
a couple of drinks or more. If you’re a fan of slight oat hints, grab this one!
The post Book Launched! appeared first on Konn Lavery.
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