Jon Lymon's Blog, page 2
January 9, 2013
Happy New Year Of Delusion
As the regular reader of this blog will know, I believe self-publishers like myself have to be seriously deluded to think their novel can be the next million seller.
Every single person who uploads their book to Amazon, Kobo, Smashwords, Barnes & Noble etc believes what they've written is worthy of a place on a bestseller's list.
It's going to take a professional editor to tell them their intro is dull, their character's cardboard, their concept unbelievable, their ending just plain shit. But, like me, most can't afford the £500 / $1000 it takes to hire someone who knows what they're looking for to look for it. So they'll just re-read their book and run another spellcheck to make sure there's no glaring errors.
BUT, enough of this negativity. Because, some self-published novelist will rise out of the pack this year, making waves, headlines and a useful income. Someone will be branded 'This year's E.L. James,' their book "2013's Fifty Shades Of... whatever."
It could be me, it could be you. And that's why, like the lottery, we keep doing what we're doing. Because someone's got to win. And even though it's a million to one shot, we'd give everything to be that one.
Here's to a successful 2013 for someone out there.
Every single person who uploads their book to Amazon, Kobo, Smashwords, Barnes & Noble etc believes what they've written is worthy of a place on a bestseller's list.
It's going to take a professional editor to tell them their intro is dull, their character's cardboard, their concept unbelievable, their ending just plain shit. But, like me, most can't afford the £500 / $1000 it takes to hire someone who knows what they're looking for to look for it. So they'll just re-read their book and run another spellcheck to make sure there's no glaring errors.
BUT, enough of this negativity. Because, some self-published novelist will rise out of the pack this year, making waves, headlines and a useful income. Someone will be branded 'This year's E.L. James,' their book "2013's Fifty Shades Of... whatever."
It could be me, it could be you. And that's why, like the lottery, we keep doing what we're doing. Because someone's got to win. And even though it's a million to one shot, we'd give everything to be that one.
Here's to a successful 2013 for someone out there.
October 4, 2012
Fellow self-publishers, it's us against them.
Fellow self-publishers generating but a handful of sales. You are not my enemy. And I am not yours.
It is those who populate the top tens and top hundreds of the sales charts that we must aim for. It is their readership we want. Authors with agents fighting their corner. And hardbacks bearing their name. Authors with readers in their thousands who default to their titles because they’ve heard of them, or they've read something by them before, or a friend has said 'you should check them out', or they've got more five star ratings than a Michelin hotel guide.
These are the authors we want to become. These are the readers we must tempt with our words and our stories.
And we must feel no bitterness, only joy when one of our number breaks through. Hits the big time. For they are blazing a trail. Showing us it can be done. Giving us hope that it is we who will be next.
It is those who populate the top tens and top hundreds of the sales charts that we must aim for. It is their readership we want. Authors with agents fighting their corner. And hardbacks bearing their name. Authors with readers in their thousands who default to their titles because they’ve heard of them, or they've read something by them before, or a friend has said 'you should check them out', or they've got more five star ratings than a Michelin hotel guide.
These are the authors we want to become. These are the readers we must tempt with our words and our stories.
And we must feel no bitterness, only joy when one of our number breaks through. Hits the big time. For they are blazing a trail. Showing us it can be done. Giving us hope that it is we who will be next.
September 28, 2012
BBC Gives JK Rowling Free Advertising
There was I, watching the evening news, trouble in Syria and the like, then on comes an item about JK’s new book. A big close up of the cover on screen and an interview with the author.
Now, the cover’s pretty bright and I’m sure the book’s very good. I’m also sure the Potter series deserves all the plaudits it’s got.
But is the BBC f***ing news the place for this sort of thing?
Is it news? Or just blatant promotion?
The Beeb is supposed to be impartial and everything, yet here’s a clear example of them favouring one book over the millions of others out there.
And there are millions of authors out there who’d kill for this sort of publicity. I’d personally take a two second flash of the cover of either of my books before the weather forecast.
So, Mr or Mrs Head of BBC News, in the interests of impartiality, feel free to get in touch with me and I’ll send you a jpeg of my book covers.
Flash up either one on your news show, before the weather, even during the f***ing weather, whatever's easiest, I really don’t mind.
Unfortunately, I'm not available for an interview as I'm washing someone else's hair.
Thanks x
Now, the cover’s pretty bright and I’m sure the book’s very good. I’m also sure the Potter series deserves all the plaudits it’s got.
But is the BBC f***ing news the place for this sort of thing?
Is it news? Or just blatant promotion?
The Beeb is supposed to be impartial and everything, yet here’s a clear example of them favouring one book over the millions of others out there.
And there are millions of authors out there who’d kill for this sort of publicity. I’d personally take a two second flash of the cover of either of my books before the weather forecast.
So, Mr or Mrs Head of BBC News, in the interests of impartiality, feel free to get in touch with me and I’ll send you a jpeg of my book covers.
Flash up either one on your news show, before the weather, even during the f***ing weather, whatever's easiest, I really don’t mind.
Unfortunately, I'm not available for an interview as I'm washing someone else's hair.
Thanks x
September 10, 2012
An Open Letter To People Who Have To Live With Writers
Dear [insert name here]
Sorry.
Sorry for not always being there physically.
And sorry for sometimes being there physically but not mentally.
Sorry for trying to grab every moment I can with my laptop.
Sorry for using the printer at half one in the morning. Hopefully, I'll soon be able to afford a quieter one.
Sorry for regularly disappearing upstairs for short periods. I'm not up to anything dodgy, just checking my Kindle Reports or Smashwords dashboard, praying for a sale, even a freebie download, any evidence that somebody somewhere might like my stuff.
Sorry for finishing writing one book and then immediately piling in to another. I don't think I can stop.
And finally, sorry for not making this letter longer. It's just that I've got other things to write.
Sorry.
Sorry for not always being there physically.
And sorry for sometimes being there physically but not mentally.
Sorry for trying to grab every moment I can with my laptop.
Sorry for using the printer at half one in the morning. Hopefully, I'll soon be able to afford a quieter one.
Sorry for regularly disappearing upstairs for short periods. I'm not up to anything dodgy, just checking my Kindle Reports or Smashwords dashboard, praying for a sale, even a freebie download, any evidence that somebody somewhere might like my stuff.
Sorry for finishing writing one book and then immediately piling in to another. I don't think I can stop.
And finally, sorry for not making this letter longer. It's just that I've got other things to write.
September 2, 2012
Genre. The best sales took since, well, ever.
Don't make the mistake I did with my first novel and start writing it without a genre in mind.
Seriously.
If you want to sell copies, or even give them away as freebies, make sure your book fits into a category.
Deluded old me thought sod that, I'm going to write this genre buster that's a combination of heist, sci-fi, thriller, adventure. All very well until you upload it to Smashwords or Kindle and have to pigeonhole it.
You soon see that books are sold on genre, and writing something that dips its toes into several different genres isn't the fast lane to big sales.
Sure, I've shifted a few copies (mainly freebies) but because The Money Star straddles several genres rather than slotting neatly into one, it's 'yet to find its audience', which I believe is common parlance for 'we don't know what genre this thing is'.
As a result, I've been forced to post-rationalise, during which I discovered the catch-all category of Speculative Fiction, which covers a multitude of genres. But, as yet, it hasn't boosted sales.
Which is why when I started my second novel, I made sure which category it would be filed under when it was published before a finger touched the keypad. (Horror, thanks for asking).
Seriously.
If you want to sell copies, or even give them away as freebies, make sure your book fits into a category.
Deluded old me thought sod that, I'm going to write this genre buster that's a combination of heist, sci-fi, thriller, adventure. All very well until you upload it to Smashwords or Kindle and have to pigeonhole it.
You soon see that books are sold on genre, and writing something that dips its toes into several different genres isn't the fast lane to big sales.
Sure, I've shifted a few copies (mainly freebies) but because The Money Star straddles several genres rather than slotting neatly into one, it's 'yet to find its audience', which I believe is common parlance for 'we don't know what genre this thing is'.
As a result, I've been forced to post-rationalise, during which I discovered the catch-all category of Speculative Fiction, which covers a multitude of genres. But, as yet, it hasn't boosted sales.
Which is why when I started my second novel, I made sure which category it would be filed under when it was published before a finger touched the keypad. (Horror, thanks for asking).
August 31, 2012
Self Publishers Have Got To Love America
If you want to shift ebooks, fall in love with America.
Seriously.
Even go as far as making sure there's an American character or location, or something in your book.
Because in my experience, the US is the biggest market for self-publishers who write in English. By far.
I can barely give my books away in my homeland of the UK, my freebie promotions of The Money Star shifting a fraction of what gets snapped up in the States.
Why is that?
Are Americans more likely to give works by unknown suckers like me a chance? Or is it just because there's so many more Kindle owners that side of the pond?
I'll wager it's a bit of both. Either way, as someone once said, maybe even sung, God Bless America.
Seriously.
Even go as far as making sure there's an American character or location, or something in your book.
Because in my experience, the US is the biggest market for self-publishers who write in English. By far.
I can barely give my books away in my homeland of the UK, my freebie promotions of The Money Star shifting a fraction of what gets snapped up in the States.
Why is that?
Are Americans more likely to give works by unknown suckers like me a chance? Or is it just because there's so many more Kindle owners that side of the pond?
I'll wager it's a bit of both. Either way, as someone once said, maybe even sung, God Bless America.
August 28, 2012
I Am Deluded
Really, I am. I thought the first novel I wrote was incredible. Groundbreaking. A surefire success. Bound to get critics salivating, demanding more.
Never happened.
Ten years later I ploughed into my second. Ten drafts I wrote. A brilliant concept, I thought. Streets ahead of the first. Only a matter of time before an agent or publisher picks it up.
Never happened.
Then I spent a year learning story theory. McKee first. Then Truby. The brilliant Truby.
And I re-read my first two books.
They were [swearwords omitted].
I could see what I’d previously been blind to. Sure, the writing was good and there were few errors. But they were structurally naïve. They weren’t stories that gripped. The characters weren’t the kind you rooted for.
Upon realising my first novel was beyond salvation, I rewrote my second, with the benefit of my newfound knowledge.
Five more drafts. Another year’s work.
And I’m currently wallowing in the delusion that it’s streets ahead of the previous drafts. Only a matter of time before an agent or publisher picks it up…
Never happened.
Ten years later I ploughed into my second. Ten drafts I wrote. A brilliant concept, I thought. Streets ahead of the first. Only a matter of time before an agent or publisher picks it up.
Never happened.
Then I spent a year learning story theory. McKee first. Then Truby. The brilliant Truby.
And I re-read my first two books.
They were [swearwords omitted].
I could see what I’d previously been blind to. Sure, the writing was good and there were few errors. But they were structurally naïve. They weren’t stories that gripped. The characters weren’t the kind you rooted for.
Upon realising my first novel was beyond salvation, I rewrote my second, with the benefit of my newfound knowledge.
Five more drafts. Another year’s work.
And I’m currently wallowing in the delusion that it’s streets ahead of the previous drafts. Only a matter of time before an agent or publisher picks it up…
