April Peveteaux's Blog, page 4

GIMB Presents…Dr. Pepper Sorbet, Suckers!

It’s the weekend, and you’re going to need some of this sorbet. Truth.

You can find this amazing, perfect, recipe and more in my upcoming book, Bake Sales Are My Bitch: Win the Food Allergy Wars with 60+ Recipes to Keep Kids Safe and Parents Sane. Get on it!

Dos and Don’ts of Gluten-Free Moving

Holy crap, moving sucks the big one. Even my dog knows the score. Yet, we just willingly hauled our cookies across town and are trying hard to set up shop again. And even though I know all of the fantastic reasons we just did this (walkable neighborhood, great middle school, gourmet soft serve on the corner) I’m questioning my sanity right about now. Moving. It’s for suckers.

It did not help that the weekend before our big move I got some cross-contamination action in what I believe were three different restaurants. Yep. This has been one of the worst gluten’ings of my 5 year career of not eating gluten on purpose. And when you’re moving and your kitchen is packed up, you can’t be 100% sure you’re eating safely. So, yeah, it’s been ugly, and painful, and I’ve been packing, lifting, moving, and now, unpacking, in between losing my shit and being malnourished. FUN.

Still. I have tips, because that’s how I am. Okay, I have very few tips. Because I’m tired AF, and am mostly just using this post as a rant. But first, the don’ts.

Don’t lose your shit publicly when your store is out of lime flavored LaCroix. That’s called a first world problem. (And don’t tell me pamplemousse is better. Just don’t.)
Don’t decide to just not eat because every time you eat it goes straight into the toilet. I did that, and I wound up dehydrated, in addition to having zero vitamins in my body.
Don’t forget where you packed your coffee pot. I still can’t find that %$*##@ thing.

So it’s amazing I can even think to give you the dos. Yet, I go on.

DO: Bleach the hell out of your fridge before you put your gluten-free foods inside. Okay, this may be overkill but I’m very into doing what I can right now, instead of taking any risks. So bleaching the fridge, the cabinets, and putting down shelf liner is the way to go.

And this is how I know I’m losing it. I found myself thinking back to one of the first seasons of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” when Teresa Giudice said she’d never live in a “used house.” I feel you, Teresa. I feel you. Which is why my next piece of advice is bonkers: Buy all new appliances when you move.

Okay, we didn’t do that and that’s insane. But don’t think I haven’t thought about skipping vacations and holidays so I can be guaranteed that no gluten has ever touched my dishwasher and cheese drawer.

DO: Upgrade your cutting boards when you make a move (also, see shelf lining). It’s a great time to ditch anything that needs an upgrade, and I also feel like cutting boards need a refresh every few years, anyway. I really love these from Casabella that label each sheet by food, that way it helps me keep food in its own lane.

And I got all of that done while trying to sort out who the weird guy was walking back and forth in front of my dining room window. Still, unsure.

DO: Identify your local gluten-free friendly restaurants in your new neighborhood, ASAP. I love Find Me Gluten Free, and it’s especially important to read the reviews, and maybe don’t go to the place with only 1 star. Also, that’s almond milk in that coffee. But no, that’s not vegan cheese on my chilaquiles. I’m weak.

And that, my friends, is how to succeed and fail when relocating your bad self. Good ‘effing luck.

(No matter how many probiotics taken, charcoal swallowed and half-assed attempts to avoid dairy, I’m not getting any better. So please send tips. K, thanks.)

Gluten-Free ‘Eff Ups on Film!

Hey guys!

I know the one thing you’ve been missing from GIMB is video tutorials. I mean, I decided that was the one thing you’ve been missing. Honestly, if anything was missing it was probably my lack of dairy-free information because no matter how hard I try, I cannot bring myself to consistently cook without dairy, or eat all three meals a day without dairy. Still, videos!!!

I was inspired by the Tasty series, wherein they show you really fast how to make something super delicious-but was pretty sure those videos took like 15 takes in order to turn out so damn perfect. I don’t know who has time for that. And then I thought, “Hey, April! You’re not perfect.” And that maybe it would be helpful/fun/ridiculous to watch my cooking process which, while sometimes a nightmare, does wind up being delicious and gluten-free. That, my friends, is what I’m going to be laying on you every week.

In case you missed it, here is my first one wherein I make delicious gluten-free cinnamon roll pancakes – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZI6L...

And this week’s epic takedown of gluten-free pasta and how to turn it into scrumptious mac and cheese –

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGQRm...

So check back on my FB every week to see what else I can teach you through my own ‘eff ups. Hooray!!!

 

XO, GIMB

Back to School Snacks for the Awesomely Gluten-Free + More

Do you like how I started this off with a positive? I figure if you have kids with any kind of food issues you’re probably freaking out right about now. So I wanted to throw an “awesome” in there, ‘cuz maybe you’ll feel good and confident for a second. Do you? Well.

I hope you do just a little bit, as there are a ton of new, and old, snacks on the market to pack up with your allergic kiddos. I wrote about it before, but I have some new findings, and also, holy crap do you see all these g-fers on the shelves-

I thought it might be time for some new info.

First up, my daughter’s new favorite gluten-free oatmeal from Bakery on Main. See how happy she is? A little too happy, if you ask me. I’m also in love with the little gluten-free oatmeal cups from Bob’s Red Mill. I know not everyone who has a wheat problem can tolerate oats, but if you can these start your kiddos morning off right on.

Next we have a horribly named but completely delicious snack from Wild Zora, the meat and veggie bar. Honestly, when I got the pitch for this gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, nut-free, MSG-free, and milk-free snack, I laughed. And might have even emailed back, “LOL,” because I’m a 12-year-old. But the PR lady was adamant that if my family tried these meat and veggie bars, we’d like them. Guess what? LOVED THEM. Yes, even the little kids, and even the ones with kale. The BBQ beef bar was my favorite, and my kids loved the Mediterranean Lamb. They are basically beef (or lamb, or turkey) jerky with vegetables that add flavor but not vegetable texture. Super delicious, you guys. We’re hooked. 

 

For the 8 main allergen crowd, Enjoy Life Eat Freely has just launched mini cookies, which are perfect for a lil’ snack in the lunch box or after school. My son digs the sugar crisps, and my girl is all in on the double chocolate brownie. I just love that they are free of all 8 allergens so most kids can enjoy a sweet treat.

Other than that, we have our go-to allergy friendly snacks with the help of Annie’s gluten-free bunny cookies, Krave beef jerky, popcorn and loads of fruit. It’s enough to make a parent relax for a minute. Hahahahaha. I said “parent” and “relax” in the same sentence.

For those of you who are also gearing up to implement a 504 plan guide, check out the CDF’s 2016 Back-to-School Challenge Campaign to help. And they have a brand new and free Back-to-School and 504 Plan Guide and webinar to help parents through the stress and confusion BTS can be for allergic kids. Check it!

Happy drop-off line!

XO,

GIMB

Gluten-Free Portland: As If You Even Need This Guide

Just got back from Portland, Oregon. Totally full.

In spite of a rocky start wherein I was chasing children and eating whatever landed in front of my face, the rest of my Portland trip was filled with gluten-free goodness. And goodness, and goodness.

Lordy, do they know how to make a gfree lady fat and happy. Emphasis on the fat. I’m going to have to start doing cross-fit or something to work off all that deliciousness. Kyra, I’m blaming you for most of it. You guys, her cinnamon rolls and big pink cookies could bring about world peace. This one –

I’m craving this, hard. That, and the all gluten-free food gorge Kyra and I went on at Groundbreaker Brewing. But since I’m back in LA and just have pictures and memories, let me tell you where else you can get your gluten-free eat on in Portland, and then just be jealous of your meals. 

Corbett’s (Hawthorne’s) Fish House

Here’s where I admit I ate at this entirely gluten-free restaurant three times in two weeks. You guys, if someone is going to fry gluten-free cheese curds for me, I’m going to keep on going back. I decided the gluten-free beer battered with chile was the best coating for my fish and chips, alongside a gluten-free Groundbreaker IPA. I miss Corbett’s Fish House SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.

Harlow

Not the only all-gluten-free restaurant in town, Harlow is also a totally gf joint with much healthier options. So yes, it was delicious, but not fried. So minus 2 points. Kidding! You’ve got your vegan, your raw, your gluten-free, your kombucha, all in one place. I had a dirty chai to drink and this chipotle chili bowl with a side of a gluten-free biscuit. Delicious, you guys. And I felt like I could still have dinner later. Which I need, because there are too many amazing restaurants in Portland.

Hanging out with Buddies Making Nachos

The best part of my Portland trip was getting to hang out with my great friends I don’t see often enough. Portland is filled with nice people, and even some imported from New York and San Francisco (specifically, since those were where my friends happened to come from on this particular trip). May I suggest you plan a friend reunion in Portland, Oregon? It’s pretty great.

I was lucky enough to have a house with full kitchen and stuffs and my new best dog friend, Skippy-

and a lot of friends around to make a lot of meals at home. We found some amazing gluten-free rolls at a farmer’s market in the SE near the People’s Food Co-Op. Lots of great options at New Seasons, a fab grocery store, and additions from my friend (and house neighbor) Liz. Add multiple great cooks in the mix, and we did eat well without leaving the house. At first I forgot the aluminum foil, but as I got smarter, I was eating safe and super duper well. Nachos4ever.

Widmer Brothers Brewing

Almost like hanging out with buddies, these peeps are the brewers of Omission’s gluten-free beers. Also, gluten-free Buffalo wings. I love them for many reasons, not least of which is they sponsored an off-the-hook book party for me when Gluten Is My Bitch came out. Naturally, I come back when I can to relive the glory that was someone else making my favorite gluten-free mac and cheese recipe (see Gluten Is My Bitch, the book), so I didn’t have to. Right down the street from Widmer Brothers is the super cool dry goods store, Beam & Anchor where I got this amazing key chain-

The Maple Parlor

Gourmet soft serve sundae bar with gluten-free toppings? Yes, please! I can’t believe I only ate here once, but my kids kept wanting to go to Ben & Jerry’s, and they do have a “safe” gluten-free list –

That’s not exactly safe. I mean, gourmet soft serve with whatever gluten-free toppings you can shove in your sundae hole? Maple Parlor is a no-brainer. Try harder Ben. And Jerry, too.

McMenamins Pub(s)

Something super fun all around Portland are the McMenamins’ family of theaters, pubs, restaurants, and hotels. Housed in existing buildings like schools, theaters, exhibit halls, and houses, you never know what you’re going to get when you walk into one of these joints. We took the crew to see “Ghostbusters,” which I highly recommend, and I had a gluten-free burger (not seen because the movie theater was very dark and plus, you don’t take photos in a movie theater, people). I wish I could have hit more of these while I was in town, but have much to look forward to on my next visit.

Fried Egg, I’m in Love

There are over 500 food carts in Portland and while I wish I could have eaten at every one of them, I had to go back twice to Fried Egg, I’m in Love not only for the amazing name, but for the separate pan cooking up a gluten-free breakfast sandwich to die for. My picks include the Egg Zeppelin (as seen above) and the Yolko Ono. My kids loved the ‘Rito Suave breakfast burrito, which wasn’t gluten-free but gets mad points for the name.

Guero

A torta food cart may not seem like a great idea for the celiac, and it’s not like it was. However, the bowl of deliciousness with carnitas really hit the spot and was safe to boot. Spicy corn and a cider on the side made for the perfect vacation lunch. Also got to introduce my kid to a torta as big as his face, so that’s one thing off the list. Don’t mind the alien arms coming out of the bowl. I totally knocked that out.

Quin Candy

This is my new favorite candy. These Dream Come Chews just melt in your mouth and I may have eaten 5 in one sitting. All of Quin candies are hand made, some of them from my favorite canned wine.

Yes, I do have a favorite canned wine, you gotta’ problem with that?

Mississippi Pizza Pub

One of you fine people recommended this fun joint to me and in addition to having this delicious pizza, this place tickled my funky bone. Booths outdoors, you guys. Clever. Also, lots of gluten-free beer and drinks available, which seems to be the norm up in the PNW. It’s just so nice to have a pizza made for you that won’t make you poop your pants. Really nice.

The Woodsman

One of the most fun dinners, ever, The Woodsman isn’t specifically gluten-free but I did find plenty of options that blew my mind. Like this Dungeness crab avocado appetizer, and oysters for those that don’t mind slimy things going down their throat. And if you’re still hungry, a double cheeseburger with a lettuce bun and patriotic toothpick.

God bless America, and gluten-free double cheeseburgers.

Verde Cocina

I loved this all gluten-free Mexican style extravaganza the last time I was in Portland, so was stoked to go back. This is the quesadilla special with loads of chicken and other deliciousness. I think every restaurant should have a quesadilla special, and I’m going to start shouting that near and far. We also had an amazoids chorizo queso appetizer-

As you can see we went to town on it before I could get my camera out, because it was so good. I love this place, and love how safe it is to eat here. I would recommend a reservation however, as they did seem very rattled to have our group walk in on a Friday night, even though it was early in the evening. It’s popular, guys. Take a note.

Solstice Wood Fire Cafe & Bar

Not in Portland, but up the road in Hood River, Oregon, Solstice had a significant gluten-free menu and this significant pork chop sandwich. My kids got pizza, and one of them even got the gluten-free version, when we went on a road trip to the Gorge.

Oregon is pretty ya’ll. I get what all the fuss is about, beyond the food. Because honestly, I was all, “Portland has the greatest food. What else?” What else is this-

I’m stunned by nature, you guys. Stunned.

Slappy Cakes

And now for a warning of where to never, ever, go. Unless you’ve already eaten breakfast, and just want to get a big kick out of watching kids making ‘effed up pancakes. Which I did. Except for the breakfast part. Slappy Cakes is a make-your-own pancake restaurant which does have a gluten-free batter option. But would you eat pancakes made right after a group of chocolate-peanut butter pancake makers? Not if you’re me, or those of you who poop when that happens.

So I ordered the Huevos Rancheros because it was gluten-free, but that kitchen, and the grill right in front of my face, were lousy with gluten. And I did get sick, in spite of trying not to breath in pancake dough. This should not have happened, yet it did. So I’ve come to the conclusion that a celiac just cannot be safe in Slappy Cakes. Sorry, guys.

Other great places I chowed down include: Tula’s, Petunia’s, New Thai Blues, Country Cat, lots of food carts I can’t remember, and my kids chowed down on gelato at Pinolo and ice cream at Salt & Straw. It was the most glutinous trip we’ve ever been on, for sure. But at least they came home with these-

A Rad GF Day in Portland with Kyra & Cupcakes

Yes, I am super lucky. I got to go to Kyra’s Bake Shop in Lake Oswego, Oregon (Portland adjacent, and Uber-able) and eat all of the things. But lest you think Kyra is only about cupcakes, let me fill you in on what happens when you’re like, “Oh, hey, lady! I know we talk a lot about hanging and eating, so show me what’s up in the PDX!”

Kyra brings it, ya’ll. And it’s not just cupcakes. But honestly, if you can ever get them, believe me they are the best things you’ll ever nom on. EVER. That, and the cinnamon roll, and the big pink cookie . . .

 . . . and basically every other dang thing up in that shop. If you’re ever in the general area of Kyra’s Bake Shop, do please go and stock up. I ate a cupcake after 4 days and it was amazing. THAT DOESN’T HAPPEN IN OUR WORLD. But that’s only the beginning of my fabulous afternoon with Kyra.

I’m in Portland, Oregon for an extended visit and when I asked, a  load of you recommended Ground Breaker Brewing as a great gluten-free place to go and get my eat and drink on. Kyra also recommended we get our eat on there and wow, did we.

So, yeah, Ground Breaker is an all gluten-free brewery and eatery with amazing local, fresh, delicious ingredients and we basically tried everything in the entire restaurant. Why wouldn’t we????? We both had a gluten-free pulled pork sandwich and salami pizza with a seasonal salad, which clearly was not quite enough for us ladies, since we also enjoyed the fried chicken with collard greens, a ginger IPA which was insane, and dessert. Yes, I said dessert.

Because I didn’t get enough sweets at Kyra’s (ahem), I was also able to stuff all of this almond cookie, seasonal cherry dairy-free ice cream sandwich up in my face. Sugar coated chamomile buds and cherries included.

Yes, it was the shizz, why do you ask?

The point being, Kyra showed me an amazing time and before I leave Portland I’m heading back to see if she really exists, or if I dreamed all of that. Lunch, basically every delicious thing up in her bakery—

And a helluva good time.

You guys. Portland.

5 Ways a Mom Gets Gluten’d

One kid, enjoying nature in PDX

As someone who knows exactly how to prepare for, and enjoy, a vacation without eating gluten, I’m here to say that four days into my epic adventure I feel like my body has exploded from within. Instead of blaming poor planning (I have a list a mile long of safe places, and an adorable map drawn by friends to boot), or an unfriendly gluten-free city (I’m in Portland, yo), I’ve decided that I’m going to blame my kids.

Honestly, it’s legit. After all, when you’re single parenting for a few days and navigating fun things and getting the hang of public transportation and are wrangling kids who wander into a busy street if you’re not watching carefully, sometimes you do find yourselves in a desperate place where you just need to put food into everyone’s body and no, you cannot figure out how to take the light rail to the best gluten-free Thai restaurant 15 neighborhoods away.

That’s when gluten happens.

That, and these other things have happened that I do believe have resulted in me wanting to curl up and take my “nap day” early on this vacation. Or just vacation sans children, next time. Yes, I’m sticking to my children blaming. Judge away. 

Trusting airport food after the server says, “Yes, we have wheat,” as you explain you can’t have wheat. Try to order naturally gluten-free and pray that she didn’t add “wheat” to the top.
When you’re ordering a taco bowl at the Farmer’s Market and your kid says, “I think the flour and corn tortillas are on the same surface,” and you think, “Crap.” But it’s the only option you know is at least mostly gluten-free so you vow to only eat the bowl fillings and not the possibly contaminated tortilla. You break that vow.
Sampling booze at an open market after schlepping the kids around all day and needing a drink, even a thimble-sized one, so much you don’t stop to inquire about the gluten content. In the beer capitol of the world. Bottoms up. And out, obviously.
Using utensils and pots and pans at your rental house with just a cursory wash. You know better, but your kids are whining incessantly about being hungry so you just freaking do it, already.
Going to the wrong pizza place but not giving a damn when they say they have gluten-free pizza, too. Sure, it hasn’t been vetted by other celiacs but you cannot figure out how to get to the one that has been, so you give up and start eating. At least it was delicious pizza. That came flying out of my body later.

So, yeah. I need to get my shit together (literally) and enjoy the heck out of Portland. Right after I nap.

 

XO, GIMB

Fortune Asian Noodle Challenge: GF Chicken Satay Rolls with Spicy Sriracha Peanut Sauce

Well, that was a mouthful of a headline, yes? You guys, I’m entering a contest!! I haven’t done this since I was showing sheep in Oklahoma. And then I found out we butchered them and ate them. And now I don’t eat lamb. ANYWAY.

Fortune Asian Noodles is having a blogger contest wherein we make delicious things and see if we can’t win some big prizes. They’ve got some noodles, some speciality noodles and wraps and rice and things and naturally I went for the gluten-free challenge with these Thai Peanut Rice Noodles.

Yes, it IS nice to enjoy some traditional Asian dishes without the gluten. I highly recommend you do it early, and often. Fortune sent me these yums and I decided to step up a spring roll and turn it into one of my favorite things ever—chicken scratchin’ satay. It was super delicious, you guys, and totally hit that sweet (and spicy) spot.

I love this whole chill spring roll with a dash of hot peanut sauce. It’s like, “I see you summer, and I’ll raise you Sriracha.” You can even spice it up more by increasing your chili sauce quotient, but I found this to be very family friendly as well as super satisfying. And it’s not too complicated if you set up your work station first—

So you can get your roll on as soon as the rice papers are soft and ready to go.

Then you’ve got a plate full of rolls, ready for slicing into adorable little pieces.

Voila! Eat up, gluten-freers.

See below as to the locations where you can pick up your own Fortune Gluten Free Thai Peanut Noodles. And wish me luck. Or good fortune. See what I did there?

XO,

GIMB

Chicken Satay Rolls with Spicy Sriracha Peanut Sauce

 Prep time: 30 minutes Cook time: 10 minutes

 Makes: 24 rolls

  Ingredients:

1 package Fortune Gluten Free Thai Peanut Rice Noodles

12 8-inch rice paper rounds

12 tall romaine leaves, trimmed to create a rectangle

1 cup shredded rotisserie chicken

1 cup shredded carrots

1 cucumber, thinly sliced into sticks

1 can water chestnuts, quartered lengthwise

½ cup cilantro leaves

12 mint leaves, de-stemmed

2 limes, quartered twice, for garnish

Sauce:

3/4 cup creamy peanut butter

2 tablespoons Fortune Gluten Free Thai Peanut Sauce

¼ cup wheat-free tamari

2 tablespoons lime juice

2 tablespoons brown sugar

½ cup coconut milk

2 teaspoons Sriracha hot chili sauce

2 tablespoons crushed peanuts, for garnish

2 stems cilantro, for garnish

Begin by making your sauce.
In a medium bowl, whisk together peanut butter, wheat-free tamari, lime juice, Fortune Gluten Free Thai Peanut Sauce and brown sugar. Once smooth, add coconut milk and Sriracha. Combine thoroughly and set aside while making the rolls.
Slice a 1-inch opening in the Fortune Gluten Free Thai Peanut Rice Noodles package and heat for 1 minute in the microwave. Remove from microwave and place noodles into a bowl. Separate noodles with a fork, and allow to cool.
Prep your other ingredients and place lettuce leaves, shredded chicken, carrots, cucumber, water chestnuts, cilantro and mint leaves up around your work area, where you’ll be laying your rice paper to fill.
Fill a large pie pan ¾ full with very warm water. Submerge rice paper one at a time for around 20-30 seconds or until very pliable.
Move rice paper to your work area and begin to fill by laying lettuce leaf first, then filling with equal parts noodles, chicken, carrots, cucumber, water chestnuts and a sprig or two of cilantro and one mint leaf. Roll up your rice paper and fold in the ends, like you would a burrito.
Repeat with each rice paper, refilling your pie pan with warm water as needed. When rolls are finished slice in half.
Garnish spicy Sriracha peanut sauce with crushed peanuts and a sprig or two of cilantro. Add lime wedge as garnish to rolls, and serve.

Find Fortune Asian Noodles and other Fortune products here:

Shaws

Star Market

Jewel Osco

Albertsons

Randalls

Stater Bros

Safeway

Lucky’s

Food Maxx

Food 4 Less

Savemart

Bashas’

 

 

Gluten-Free Los Angeles: Mandarette, Home State, Mama Shelter & A Cautionary Tale

I’ve figured out the secret to hanging onto the fun, carefree, anything goes life we all had, or attempted to have, before kids. It’s called a week at Grandma’s house and I highly recommend it. The kids go to Grandma’s, that is. You stay put and do you.

Of course you can’t be footloose and fancy free about everything when you’ve got a bad case of the sprue. You do have to watch what you eat, sadly, and that means not getting so loaded you don’t care if that donut isn’t gluten-free because it looks gluten-free, dammit! That will not end well, and the point of the child-free week is make every non-mac and cheese making, carpool driving, moment count. Don’t spend it on the pot.

With that in mind, let me guide you around my week of freedom, which also meant not cooking a gd thing. NO DISHES, PEOPLE. I’m telling you, it was epic. 

Mandarette Cafe

I somehow had not been informed of this very old school traditional Chinese restaurant on the edge of Beverly Hills. Apparently they’ve been doing this gluten-free thing for years and are fully committed. As seen on every table in the joint –

You guys, I had garlic fried chicken like it was nothing. See the hubs enjoying it too? We both could enjoy that business without anyone crapping her pants!!!!

We also got down on this ginger-scallion tofu as an appetizer.

And BBQ pork fried rice to die for, ya’ll.

ALL GLUTEN FREE. All delicious and very much in the Chinese take out vein that I’ve missed so much. That was the best find of the week, in the “I’ve been missing this” way.

Mama Shelter

#hollywoodnights

I’ve been here for brunch and dinner on the roof before, and I keep coming back because it’s kind of the ultimate LA spot. Inventive, but still classic cocktails, a great Mediterranean inspired menu (but with a burger if you’re all, I NEED A BURGER) and all-around cool vibe. The menu has a lot of delicious sounding options that are totally not gluten-free, so I’d recommend going for drinks and snacks and hoover up all those delicious dips with cut vegetables instead of the pita. Bring your boo, and watch the sunset. Or sunrise if you go that way.

 

Home State

If you follow me on Instagram (@peveteaux) you’ll notice I hit Home State about once a week. I can’t help it, I’m a former Texan who fell in love with breakfast burritos and this place makes them with corn as well as flour. Yee, freaking haw!!!!! And their queso is Texas perfect and also gluten-free. Honestly, I don’t know how I’m not there every day. This is the bomb, you guys. The burrito bomb. GO.

Dana’s Ziti

So this was amazing. My friend Dana hosted book club, which admittedly could happen with or without the kids in town, and as host she made us all dinner. Lo and behold that lady made me my VERY OWN PAN of gluten-free ziti. And then sent it home with me. Yeah, so that not only helped me with my “no cooking” goals of the week, but damn it was good. That’s a true friend, you guys. MY PERSONAL ZITI.

Bar Marmont

Chateau Marmont’s darker, cozier, less fancy cousin, Bar Marmont is a great place to grab a drink and a meal if you find yourself on the Sunset Strip and don’t want to get your eat on in weird theme restaurants. Of course, we did see a Bentley loaded up with dudes on their way to Pink Taco, so what do I know? (I know not to go to Pink Taco.)

Every time I’ve been to Bar Marmont my waitress has totally known how to navigate gluten. Maybe that’s a Hollywood thing, but it makes it easy to order. Hence, my lettuce boats of a lobster roll, sans bun. I also couldn’t have the truffle fries, which is sad, but not as sad as winding up in the john all night.

Musso & Frank

You know, I’ve been to this Hollywood standby a number of times and this was the only time I went home and absolutely knew some cross-contact had happened back in the kitchen, or god knows where. At white table cloth, all male waiter type of joints like this I always order a steak and potato because I know that’s the best chance I have of avoiding a sauce that might have gluten. This time, however, something snuck in. Not a lot, as I was able to feel normal in less than a week, but it’s definitely a risk one takes when the waiters have been there since the 1950s and the menu hasn’t changed at all.

I love these old Hollywood spots, and probably will go again for the atmosphere, but it is not the place where you can have a comforting talk about your gluten-free diet. Still, they make a mean gimlet at the oldest restaurant in Hollywood.

Alas, my week of freedom must come to an end and next week I’ll be back to making pretzel dogs and forcing my kids to go to Home State with me again and again. So, yeah, I guess that’s not too bad either.

Happy summer, peeps!!!

What to Gluten-Free Make When It’s Hot AF

Holy crap balls, people. I’m shocked to still be here and not completely burned to a crisp on the side of one of the many Los Angeles freeways I’m forced to drive upon in this hellish beginning to summer, because I just freaking gave up and gave into the fire. How are you? Hot as fuck? Hot as fuck. Me, too.

While the heat can, at times, curb the ol’ appetite, a human’s still gotta’ eat. Sure you can go out for tacos, as seen above (psssst, I’ve found the holy grail of gluten-free queso!!!!), but going out to eat also means getting into your car that is probably just sitting there waiting to burn your skin off. So unless you’re a raw food type, that means you’ve gotta’ cook. But no one wants to add heat to hell, so what’s a gluten-free, sweaty, gal to do? This.

Yes, this is the first thing to do. Get a gluten-free pizza sent right to your house. But be sure you tip well because that poor dude got into his hot car and sweated his way to your house while you were inside with the shades drawn playing WiiU or whatever it is that you do when it’s hot AF.

But you know as well as I do that delivery is mostly not an option for us gluten-freers, so if you MUST prepare your own food, use as little heat as possible. I mean, do NOT turn on that oven. DO NOT.

Try these less-hot dishes instead. 

Okay, fine. Salad is such an obvious hot weather option, but I just got this super great gluten-free cookbook, Yummy Supper by Erin Scott wherein she gives us the brilliant idea of serving a deconstructed California Cobb Salad. I’m not sure why I hadn’t heard of it before, but now that I have it I lurv making dinner, drinks and other random meals from this lovely book. I especially love it if it requires no oven at all. And this one is even better when you have picky kids who only want a “bacon salad” or the like. Put it out for the people and let them choose. Just like Britain, but hopefully with less horrible consequences.

Another recipe from Scott’s book that required very little effort and heat in my kitchen was the Turkish meat sticks, to which I added a little side salad. I’m sitting in an air conditioned coffee shop right now and do not have the book in front of me, but basically this is some ground pork (recipe uses lamb, but I have lots of feelings about sheep), ground beef, pistachios, caramelized onions and parsley formed into a kebab and grilled. Bonus with this one is that my husband is in charge of the grill. Outdated gender roles or not, I can pretend not to hear him as he screams from the grill heat mixing with the 109 degree outdoor heat and hitting his face.

Pasta is also always a good option because you just boil water and never have to heat up the whole damn oven, which heats up the whole damn house. I like a little alfredo and since I had leftover bacon, bacon. YUM. It’s the easiest thing ever. Just make up your gluten-free pasta while you’re frying up your bacon. Crumble that bacon up and set it aside. Whisk together cream, half-and-half or milk (about 1/2 cup) with 1 cup of Parmesan and a pat of butter (or more like 1 tablespoon if you want it super yum) over low-medium heat and as soon as it thickens up, toss in that cooked pasta with a tiny amount of pasta water and add bacon. Salt, pepper and voila! DO IT.

And please, do go out for ice cream. My new favorite place is Jeni’s in Los Feliz where they know their gluten. And their ice cream, duh.

Okay, people. Let’s go kick summer in it’s hot ass!!!!! If all else fails, just jump into this—

image via http://writing.upenn.edu

Just make sure that beer is gf.