Leigh Wilder's Blog, page 4

V-Day Freebie

Special days call for special gifts, and I have one for you.  I'm offering "The Beauty and the Beast" up for free today.  It's more romantic than some of my other stories, and thus fitting.  The cover is also properly red with roses and all that.

It's available for free at Smashwords
While you're there you can download a bunch of other free stories too: Drain Me Dry, Boy, Saturday Night, and In the Dark are all free downloads from smashwords.

Now, as for your valentines gift to me, I like the expensive chocolates. Kay? :)

The February Ramble

This post isn't really about books or writing.

February is my worst month.  It's the last month of winter (well, March technically is, but as this is Ohio, you never know what you're going to get in March) and usually the snowiest. We had a bad storm yesterday.  At ten o' clock at night it was bright enough outside to read a book, thanks to all of the white snow reflecting city lights. (Light pollution: sometimes helpful, sometimes obnoxious, and sometimes just weird.)

This time of the year last year I was probably staring blankly at the TV at best, or at worst breaking down into tears of misery over the hell that was my life.  I was working full-time at a low-paying job I hated.  This time last year "Addicted to the Bite" was just out, and I had only a handful of short stories up on Amazon, and they weren't exactly selling.

What a difference a year makes.  I've had a 100% sales increase on my books. I have a semi-successful series. One person paid outrageous shipping costs just to have my autograph in my book. I was a guest star on a freaking podcast. (I don't have a voice for radio, btw.) Between this past November to January I've clocked in a lot of words. (Most of them not for the Leigh Wilder brand though. Leigh Wilder is having a really hard time getting her next book finished.)

After 12 years of near-crippling depression I realized I was too introverted to keep working full-time with the public.  I now work between 10 and 20 hours a week.  I still dislike my job and I'm still under-paid, but the anxiety and misery that enveloped and exhausted me is mostly gone.  I still consider myself suffering from depression. Happy isn't much of a thing for me. But neutral, neutral is something that gives me more relief than I can possibly say.

I have no money.  My monthly income is between $500 and $600. That's with my day job and my writing.  I don't mind too much, but there are a few things I'd like to change. Ideally, I'd like to live someplace cheaper so I can put more money back for things that I want or need. (Mostly need.)

Right now I'm suffering from February.  Writing is hard. It's hard to stay focused. It's hard to be excited about what I'm producing. Everything around me seems boring, dull, pointless. I want to go somewhere and do something. I'm not talking about simply leaving the house (that's the last thing I want to do).  I want to LEAVE. I want to take my computer and some clothes in a backpack and go somewhere for a few months.  If I was young and unattached I could do that.  But I am old.  I have responsibilities. Not my job. Screw my job. I have two cats, a fiance, and two sick grandmothers already living 100 miles away.  Buggering off to San Francisco until Ohio decides to be warm again isn't much of an option, but I really, really wish it was.

I'm doing my best to get through. At least I'm not curled up in a ball crying, but god do I hate February.

New Release: The Goblin Market

I've been sitting on this story for a long time--since 2011. Back then the plan was to write an entire book's worth of fairy tale erotica. I'm not going to say this will never happen, but other projects do keep getting in the way.  I'm in the middle of a whole bunch right now: another dragon story, the next Deadly Liaisons, and a few other things. So out of the vaults comes this story. It's had a few edits and is nice. I like it at least.

"Goblin Market" was a poem written by Italian-English poet Christina Rossetti in 1862. She was a pre-feminist writer, though she claimed to be indifferent towards the Suffrage movement. She's known as one of the greatest female poets of the 19th century and may or may not have been a lesbian.

So of course I'm going to re-work her most famous poem into some erotic prose. The original piece definitely has sexual undertones, and the first time I read it I thought, "This could be more overt. Why don't I make this more overt?"

This is quite a bit different than my other stuff, partially because it's so old, and partially because I was trying to be artistic and thus while erotic, its not exactly as in your face as my other work. I don't even have it listed as 'erotica.' It's filed under fairy tales, and lesbian fiction.

Note: This is a 6,000ish word file. It contains my 3,000 word short story, the poem, and author's notes. It is $0.99

Buy on Amazon
Buy on Amazon UK
Buy on Smashwords

Description:
Eliza and Laura grew up together and planned to never be apart. But every seven years the goblins come and offer their fruit, enslaving young maiden's hearts until they waste away, pining for one more taste. Laura falls victim to the goblins, and Eliza must risk everything to save her beloved.

Excerpt:
Laura’s mother had nursed Eliza along with her own child, caring for the little girl when her father could not. She took the child home to her family’s cottage and where the two girls grew up almost sisters. Over the years the village seemed to forget the two had ever been anything but.

Both girls grew up well. Both had golden hair and clear blue eyes. Except for a slight freckling across Eliza’s nose, and the fact that Laura was a bit more stout than her companion, they were very much seen as sisters to anyone who met them, and they loved each other more dear than any sisters could.

Laura’s mother saw this when they clung together in bed at nights, even in the summer when a warm breeze blew in through their windows. “It’s high time the two of you were married,” she said the year they turned eighteen. “You’re too old to be sharing a bed like children, when it should be your husbands’ beds you share.”

She had more motive than that for them to be married. That summer was the summer of the Goblin’s Market, as it was every seven years. Before they had been too young to hear the goblin’s call, but they were young women now, and there was nothing a goblin liked more than ripe virgin fruit.

“I don’t want to leave Laura,” Eliza replied.

“And I don’t want to leave Eliza,” Laura added. “There is no man or lad in the village that could tempt me.” Eliza nodded, grasping Laura’s hand to her breast.

“And what about the Goblins?” the older woman prompted. “I was married right fast to your father the fortnight before Midsummer. Poor Jeanie Hinkle was not so lucky.”

“I’ve heard that story,” Laura said, her voice defiant. “I heard she wasted away for want of Goblin fruit."

“Mayhaps she did,” Eliza said, the more timid of the two. She had always been aware that she was an orphan, and to be grateful for her foster mother and always obey. If Mother believed that Goblin fruit poisoned Jeanie Hinkle, Eliza did too.

“She died of consumption, she did,” Laura insisted, and pulled Eliza up to bed.

Once they were settled in their night clothes the two cuddled up together under the sheets. Eliza found Laura’s hand in the darkness. “What if there really are goblins?” she whispered.

“I shall not let them take you, and you shall not let them take me. Isn’t that right?”

Eliza nodded in agreement. She stroked Laura’s hair and kissed her goodnight. “We won’t be separated by goblins, or marriage either.”

“Never,” Laura agreed.

Porn vs Erotica AGAIN

Why do I agonize over this?  I feel like erotica is better than porn, classier, in a way, but at the same time I honestly feel that the only people who worry about being classy are in fact without class. (Then again, I work in fast food and talk about sex on the internet, so clearly I fall into the latter category.) Recently, to make some extra cash, I've started trying to write porn. I say trying, because I'm not very good at it. "Battle of the Dragon Slayer" was supposed to be porn, but the damn thing got too good pretty quickly. Not to say there isn't gallons of dragon cum being sprayed all over the place, but still. (I am trying a second attempt at dragon porn, but the new heroine is still too feisty and prone to plot.)

During Nanowrimo I wrote a lot of porn under various pseudonyms. My concept of writing porn is to be a little silly, a little over the top. "Daddy" step-daughter porn and dinosaur rape--its all ridiculous. I know I'm supposed to be all understanding and "your kink is not my kink and that's okay" but I just can't do it. It's too damn painful.

I started writing some "real porn" and even made the cover before I got too deep into it. Here it is, a perfect copy of the pornos I see in my local sex store.  The photo caters to men, and I was trying to write sexy bimbo lesbians.  Unfortunately for this cover and "Honey Swell" the characters revolted against my fake attempts at man-centric porn.

Things started to get serious, and my pride got the better of me. Bimbos are all well and good if you're a dude, but I am not a dude and I like my erotica women to have some brains (and some balls too, but not in the literal sense). I also respect lesbians too much to write like that. So after Nano I ripped it apart and re-wrote it.  Made a new cover too.

This is smart sex. This is lesbian sex lesbians will read.  It sold 15 copies the first two weeks (which is really good for me).  Not sure how "Truth or Dare Abduction" would have gone over, but Honey's other titles aren't doing so hot. Maybe the readers can tell my heart's not in it. Maybe they do want mental and emotional stimulation after all.

There is a huge market for school girls and lesbians written to entice men and stories where the characters share their measurements with the reader (they have big boobs you know), but I seem to be having a really hard time writing them.  Guess we're not going to see the sequel. Which I also made a cover of. (I like making covers):
Ouch.

"Truth" is available on Amazon.
At her bachelorette party Ginny reveals a secret to her friends: she's always wanted to be kidnapped and ravished by another woman. Jo, a lesbian, just happens to have had a very similar fantasy. Both women are affected when Jo decides to see the fantasy through on the eve of Ginny's wedding.

And there might be a sequel to "Truth." It's called "Lies."

Dear UK & Germany...

Hello. This is a request for help with price matching.  For quite a few months Drain Me Dry was free on Amazon's UK and Germany sites. Overseas sales were exploding. Or, at the very least, flowing nicely.  Last month, however, the story's price was adjusted back to full price, and my sales have suffered.

The only way I can get the price switched back to free is if several people report a lower price to Amazon. My hands are tied in the matter. (Is this a good time to rant about how Amazon screws itself out of money by screwing me?)

So, if you shop on the .uk or .de and can help, all you have to do is go to the book's page on Amazon and scroll down to the "Tell us about a lower price" in the product details section of the page.  Tell them you can get the book at Smashwords for free.

Here are the pertinent links:

Amazon UK
Amazon  DE

Smashwords

This is a great way to help support someone in need (Me) and give the gift of free gay vampire sex to everyone worldwide, all without paying a cent.  Go on. Give.

The 2014 Blog

I work a part time job. I work 10 hours a week for $10 an hour.  I need to work 12.5 hours a week to pay my rent (usually I scrape it together by coming in early, leaving late, and covering for people). When I went into work last night I saw I was only on the schedule for one day (today) in the first week of 2014.  I'm not sure if this is carelessness or animosity on the part of my boss. It could be either--he doesn't really think of his employees as people with needs (like food and shelter) and he really doesn't like me.

I was angry for a good two hours, but finally I sat down and I made a list. It wasn't of other shitty places where I could get a job, or of ways I could get back at him (have already decided--its tuna salad buried deep in the pile of shit he calls an office).
I made a list of 33 projects that I have sitting on my hard drive. Some are just outlines, some are half or even almost entirely finished pieces.  Some are finished works in desperate need of an edit and rewrite. About two-thirds of it is erotica. There are also 3 young adult books (full-length ones), a murder mystery with a talking cat, and a bunch of dark fantasy.  My goal is to finish ALL of these stories.  
All of them.
And I hope, by the end of the year, I wont need to worry about scrambling to cover my rent making shitty sandwiches for an asshole.
So, I need money. For the last 5 months I've been living on about $500 a month.  That covers my rent, utilities, food, and gas. My bike insurance is paid up until July and my phone is paid up until October.  I have $150 a month in student loans that I can't cover. Last year I threw all of my tax money at it so I'm caught up for now, and I'll do the same this year. And I'll keep working at that sandwich shop until the bastard gets up the balls to fire me properly just because I make him uncomfortable (he is a weak man afraid of strong women).
This year you are probably going to see books on here with names other than Leigh Wilder on the cover. They're still me. I'm trying to turn this name into a specific brand of fantasy and paranormal romantica, but I'm writing other stuff as well. When I think it's up to the Leigh Wilder standard of writing (some of it isn't) I'll post it here for you guys to decide if you want it.  All purchases will help me pay my rent and get back at my boss for thinking people like me are worthless.
And this spring I'm going to try to get a job at a garden center, where I can be around green growing things, which make me happy.

"White Christmas" Ramble

Betty and Bob from White Christmas are my favorite movie couple. They're not exactly a sexy, erotically
charged couple, but they are great, so I don't care that this post doesn't match the blog. It is still about character, after all.

I'm Betty. I've always been Betty, ever since I was a kid. Older sister. Responsible, honest, safe sister. She doesn't party. Misbehaving is beyond her experience. And in this movie for once, just this once, the responsible, safe sister gets the guy without having to change.

She doesn't need a makeover. (In fact Bob rejects the idea of so much as changing her hair color at the beginning of the film.) She doesn't have to "find herself" or "learn how to live."  Betty is quiet, strong, ethical, independent. Bob loves her for it and she doesn't have to change at all for him to love her.  And the movie revolves around Betty and Bob, the safe characters. The wild characters of Judy and Phil are the secondary story-line, focusing all of their attention on the two main characters (albeit for selfish reasons).

"But where is the character development?" you ask. Screw it.  Let Judy develop into someone who isn't a manipulative liar or let the General develop into a man who knows how to accept help. Betty is perfect and lovely and she's even the fat sister! I know Rosemary Clooney  isn't remotely fat, but compared to Vera-Ellen (who suffered from anorexia)....she made me feel good as a size twelve D-cup teenager when my little sister wore a double-zero.

Betty is awesome because she is a proper role model, who proves you can get the guy by being yourself, even if "yourself" might not feel particularly exciting. I think it's important to have characters like her in the center of a story sometimes. Because quiet, sensible people deserve to have stories and romances written about them that accept and celebrate their sensibility. (Yes, Betty did run away instead of confronting Bob, but I blame that on the writers, not the character.)

My mom and I watched White Christmas together every year when I was a kid and teenager. We don't get to spend a lot of time together any more, but I still watch it every year. It's not the most exciting love story, or the most passionate, but it's me.

New Release...this ones a little different.

I've published my first volume of children's stories. I've written it under the name L. M. Bricker. I'm working on getting it set up to be completely separate from the "Leigh Wilder" brand (except for this post) but I haven't worked out all the kinks yet.  Right now "Leigh Wilder" is listed as the publisher on smashwords and even with adult content blocked it's still displaying my other works, which of course will not do. Too tired to fix right now. Maybe tomorrow night (I have way too many accounts, email addresses, ect. to keep up with. Tedious!) I will get it fixed.  It is available right now on smashwords and on amazon in a few hours (with no connection to Leigh Wilder at all).

Anyway!

"The Adventures of Prince Edwin, Princess Alice and Friends" is a collection of five stories written for my niece and nephew. They are kind of special because all of the people and places in the stories are people they know and places in their neighborhood in Akron, Ohio.  There are tons of in-jokes for people from the neighborhood (none of which are reading this post).

I don't know anything about writing for children. I didn't write these stories for an open audience, but for my family.  I wrote what would make my dad laugh and characters that would hold the attention of a video game playing 5 year old boy and a 3 year old girl who is interested in kittens and princesses (while still being feminist forward of course).  My beta readers thought they were funny (and one hates children's lit) so I figured I would pass them on to the world.  If you're not interested, cool.  If you want to give them a try, it's only 99 cents. (That's like a 5 piece chicken nugget but with less cancer-causing chemicals.)  I'm pretty sure I haven't written anything inappropriate (unless you're a conservative christian arsehole). I mean, how many kids know what Krav Maga is anyway?

Smashwords 99 cents
Amazon 99 cents

Amazon blurb:
This is a collection of five children's stories written for the author's niece and nephew. With little practice writing for children, the result is an idiosyncratic but charming collection with lots of humor that will also appeal to any adult reading aloud to their child. (The author would guess this work is at a third or fourth grade reading level, but the stories can be enjoyed by all ages.) There is no overt violence but does include evil witches, zombies, and a princess who wears pink and carries a sword. 4,000 words.

The stories are:
The Christmas Dragon
We meet Prince Edwin and Princess Alice, royal siblings from the kingdom of Kenmore. They must rescue the village of Redfern from a dragon at Christmas.

Osa, Sedona, and the Frog
Two dogs encounter a frog in a Mud Run Swamp.

Price Edwin Meets the Grass Man
Prince Edwin meets a new friend and they rescue the dogs of Kenmore from an evil witch.

Jules and Nigel Save the Day
Orange cats Jules and Nigel save Grandpapa Jorge from a cannibalistic zombie squirrel.

Princess Alice and Lady Tali have a Tea Party
Unfortunately it's interrupted by some mean fairies.

Smashwords 99 cents
Amazon 99 cents

Books I Will Never Read (and Why)

A few weeks ago I stumbled on a blog that listed books that the blogger had no intention of ever reading. I liked the idea, but the only reasoning the author gave for any of the books was "meh."  (I didn't save the link, nor do I even remember what blog it is, sorry.)  Here's a few books I have no intention of ever reading, and why.

Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
Or anything else by Rand for that matter.  I tried reading it as a teenager but could only get a few pages in because I found the writing tedious, but my reasoning as an adult is that Rand's philosophy of pro-capitalism is just horrible.








Pet Cemetery by Stephen King
I don't handle dead cats very well at all. The beginning of the movie made me turn it off real quick, and I will probably never pick up the book. Also, all respects to Stephen King, I think he's a great story-teller, he writes wonderful short stories, and I've enjoyed every movie adaptation of his work I've ever seen, but his novel-writing style and I have never meshed.





Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer
I read the first book because it didn't seem fair to make fun of it without having at least tried, but I have no intention of ever reading the others.  It's really one of the worst written series that never deserved to get popular. Anti-feminist, melodramatic, obnoxious characters, and the absolutely terrible writing makes these books the worst books ever written.





Fifty Shades of Grey series by E. L. James
Ditto.









Tess of the D'Ubervilles by Thomas Hardy
I watched the 2008 mini-series and it traumatized me for life.  Most depressing story ever. My fiance hates movies with misery in them (this story is nothing but misery from beginning to end) so sometimes to torture him I follow him around all, "She was raped and she named the baby Sorrow and then it died!" And he hates me.






The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks
Nicholas Sparks has a very punch-able face, don't you think?  I actually know little about his work other than it's drippy christian romance, and that's enough for me to stay far, far away.

New Release: The Punishment (DL 3.5)

I wrote this short a few months ago when I was offering autographed copies of Deadly Liaisons volume 1. This
was slipped in with the books as a special gift. So if you ordered volume 1 directly from me, you already have a hard copy. If you want it digitally as well I'll make sure you get it for free.

That being said, this story is going to be free for a short time on Smashwords, probably until Monday. It will be listed as 99 cents on Amazon unless you guys price match it.

I'm struggling along with book #5, which is entitled Daybreak.  I made a whopping 8,000 word start during nano, but it has a complicated plot complete with flashbacks and possibly a 3rd POV, which I havent done before in this series, making it a little bit different.  So you guys get this while you wait. I'll also be releasing something in January, but it's still up in the air what that something will be.

Buy at Smashwords (FREE)
Buy at Amazon
Buy at Amazon UK

Description:
After the disastrous events at Club Midnight Jamie-boy is angry at Damian for not letting him have his moment in the spotlight when reporters flock to New Franklin. Damian is angry at Jamie-boy for risking his life. Someone just might have to be punished. (Contains m/m sex, bondage, spanking)

Excerpt:
“I’m sorry.”
“Somehow I doubt that.” Damian walked towards Jamie-boy, looking dangerous, his eyes burning dark as he stared at him. Jamie-boy backed up until he fell into the couch and then Damian was straddling him, pinning his arms against the back cushions.“Wh-what are you going to do?” Jamie-boy asked. The fear he felt was the terrifying thrill at the top of the rollercoaster before going over the edge. Something was going to happen and it was going to hurt…but he was probably going to like it. His cock began to stir in his jeans and he knew Damian was aware of it.“Not everything we play is a game,” Damian said, gripping Jamie-boy’s wrists tighter. “Someone died. More people could have. You are not allowed to put yourself in situations where you would be killed. It would annoy me greatly. But beyond that, you disobeyed my direct orders. Don’t you understand what you’ve done by aligning yourself with me? Can you possibly think I’m some fluffy, de-fanged, cuddly vampire?”“I-I don’t think that.” But just as he knew Damian would never hurt him, he also knew Damian was law-abiding and just. He might not be de-fanged, but he did not kill people. Other vampires, maybe, but not people.“I think you do.” Damian stood and pulled Jamie-boy to his feet by the front of his t-shirt, yanking him across the room and down the hall to the bedroom. Damian dropped him on the floor. “Clothes off, now."