Lynn Blackmar's Blog, page 22

Convention Harassment – My Personal Experience

Comic Con 2006 by woolennium, on Flickr
I haven’t been to Comic Con,
so none of the events related here are tied to it.

Time for a more serious subject, one of convention harassment. As we enter the spring and summer, the number of conventions dramatically increase. My goal is to raise awareness of the issue and give you some tips on how to deal with harassment.

My Story

Some years ago I was sexually harassed and stalked at a large convention by a convention staffer who made physical passes at me and tried to corner me several times. I was stalked by the same person for months after the convention by phone and internet after he got my name off my convention pass. I told this person “No” multiple times when he announced to me that we had a date that night. He not only ignored me when I said “No”, but told other people that I agreed, and then stood him up.

My reports to that convention about this person weren’t enough to remove him from staff. In fact, the convention staff barely acknowledged me, and just handed me a piece of paper to fill out, then refused to follow up on it, saying they were dealing with it internally. A couple years later, I caught him cornering and bodyblocking another woman, who I pulled away from him.

What’s worse is that I had guy friends who insisted I just “misunderstood” that he was really a “nice guy”, and I should go out with him because “you should always say yes to nice guys”. The same guys encouraged him to keep pursuing me. They refused to believe he had done any of the things I said he had done. The implication was that women should just go along with it because 1) we aren’t capable of making rational decisions about how we should be treated, and 2) we don’t have the right to say no for whatever reason.

There were several people who passively ignored the situation, but were aware of it and witnessed his physical passes to me and other women.  I felt thrown under the bus by people I thought I trusted to watch my back.

Only one guy I know stood up against that, and who in later years kept an eye on the stalker. I don’t think all guys are like the ones above, and I applaud the one guy who took a stand against him.

I have been harassed and groped in other instances both at that convention and at others. I have stepped in when I saw someone being harassed. It’s happened with both men and women.

The Right to Refuse

It’s not hard to know when someone is being inappropriate. But more than that, women have the right to say “No” for any reason, just like guys have the right to refuse advances from women.

I never gave any indication to this person that I was interested in him. I clearly refused his advances from the beginning, and he continued to pursue me. However, even if someone is interested at first, they always has the right to refuse and be left alone.

A number of incidents have been reported from cosplayers because the beauty and complexity of their costumes seems to attract people who think cosplayers are objects and not people, but you do not have to be in costume to be harassed. Some of my writer friends have been harassed at writing conferences wearing jeans. Harassment can happen at any time, and from any gender.

The person who stalked me showed me that I have to watch out for others who might be put in the same situation, and be too afraid to say something about it. I also have become a supporter of several of the groups that have fought to put convention harassment policies in place. The convention where I was harassed now has a harassment policy, and has put more safety measures in place, but it took many reports and discussions online for that to happen.

If you are harassed…

Immediately inform the person to leave you alone. It’s okay to be rude. If they do not comply, leave the area and find a staff member.

Report it! Don’t just let it go. Make sure you write down as many details as you can, including time, day, exact location, and other people that may have been there. Get the names of witnesses, if you can.

Don’t passively let others be harassed, whether verbally or physically. If you see someone being harassed, step into the situation and ask if they are okay. If they are visibly shaken, ask them to find a staff member and report the incident. If you see a staff member, pull them into the situation. If someone tells you that they have been harassed, or that they do not want to be around someone because of that person’s advances, please believe them and support them. By ignoring the problem, you are putting your friends and others in danger.

The FAQ at the Anti-Harassment Project provides a much more detailed explanation of how to deal with convention harassment.

I also like John Scalzi’s post Reporting Harassment at a Convention: A First-Person How To.

Convention Safety

Stay in a group if you can. Always keep your phone with you. Stay in lighted and designated areas.

Bring your own drinks, or purchase them from an official con vendor. NEVER accept a drink from someone, even friends (you may not know where your friend got the drink). Make sure you have a designated sober friend whom you can trust. Never put your trust in unfamiliar situation or people. Guard your own safety and well-being at all times.

Use whiteout tape to hide your real name on your pass. You can peel it back if your ownership of the pass needs to be confirmed by a staff member who asks to see your ID (I’ve never actually had anyone ask). I personally believe there’s no reason for our real names to be on our passes, and I think real names should be something conventions protect.

Groups Against Harassment

There are a number of groups that fight convention harassment, and who work with conventions to develop harassment policies. These are the ones I follow, and they all have some great information on your local convention and other conventions you might attend.

Con Anti-Harassment Project: http://www.cahp.girl-wonder.org/

Cosplay is Not Consent: https://www.facebook.com/CosplayIsNotConsent

SFFragette: http://sffragette.wordpress.com/

The Backup Ribbon Project: http://backupribbonproject.com/

For conventions

Jim Hines has put together a convention harassment kit for conventions to develop anti-harassment policies:

http://www.jimchines.com/2013/12/harassment-policy-starter-kit/

Related Posts:

Join me at #indierecon

Original article: Convention Harassment – My Personal Experience.

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Where to find magic

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Fun Facts About St. Patrick’s Day

Original article: Where to find magic.

If you would like to receive freebies, discounts, and updates about new books, sign up for my newsletter at the top right of my website.

Fun Facts About St. Patrick’s Day

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day!

 Lá Fhéile Pádraig Sona Daoibh

(Happy St. Patrick’s Day!)

I found a list of fun facts about St. Patrick’s Day for your reading enjoyment! For example, did you know that chrysanthemum sales jump into the hundred thousands on St. Patrick’s Day?

I am half-Irish, so we are having some corned beef and Guinness tonight in celebration!

 

 

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Where to find magic

Original article: Fun Facts About St. Patrick’s Day.

If you would like to receive freebies, discounts, and updates about new books, sign up for my newsletter at the top right of my website.

The Pixar Theory by Jon Negroni

Many of you have probably already heard of the Pixar Theory, but it suggests that all Pixar movies take place in the same universe.

The Pixar Theory was originally postulated by Jon Negroni.

Here’s a video with a great discussion on it:

http://youtu.be/h0OTZo3-K5s

Related Posts:

Writing the End: How it should have ended
Plot Inspiration from Korean Dramas
Lynn’s Guide to Pantsing

Original article: The Pixar Theory by Jon Negroni.

If you would like to receive freebies, discounts, and updates about new books, sign up for my newsletter at the top right of my website.

Subway Surfers Hoverboard Game

There’s been a lot of news on hoverboards this week. Unfortunately, I can’t produce a real hoverboard for you either at this time, but I discovered a hoverboard surfing game I thought I’d share with y’all.

Subway Surfers is a fun little game of dodging trains, picking up coins, and the cop chasing you. You can ride the hoverboard, run, jump, and dodge left and right. There’s probably other things that I haven’t figured out yet.

Here’s a wiki that explains many aspects of the game.

I have to admit I’m pretty bad at it, but I was laughing and kept trying.

Please do not attempt this in real life! I get absolutely no compensation from recommending this game. I just thought it was cute.

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Original article: Subway Surfers Hoverboard Game.

If you would like to receive freebies, discounts, and updates about new books, sign up for my newsletter at the top right of my website.

Tiny Tricks for Eventual Success

Writing a book can be scary, but this isn’t just a post for writers. Doing anything which requires an extensive time commitment can be intimidating. It’s also hard to see the end result at the beginning. These are tips I use for writing novels, but they will work for big homework projects, research papers, nonfiction books, small projects and papers, and even housework and daily tasks.

Find the root of the problem

This is a philosophy that has served me well all areas of my life. Often when we attack a problem in our lives, we end up attacking a symptom of that problem instead of the cause. For example, calling ourselves “lazy” or “unmotivated” at work, when our real problem is that our health habits make us tired and lethargic. For me, this has meant cutting down carbs early in the day, and adding walking to my middle of the day routine. My health goes up, but suddenly my energy and creativity do, too!

If you consider a writing problem, one that plagues a lot of writers is fear. Fear of failing. Fear of succeeding. Fear of not knowing what to do. But we channel those fears into things like procrastination, avoiding writing so we can deny the problem and not face it. Fear is never fun, but it is something we can face. Nothing will happen to us if we don’t publish a book, so why not write it anyway? Write it for fun. Write it for yourself. Worry about what you’re going to do with it when it’s done. If you’re really concerned about quality, there’s nothing wrong with changing things later, hiring people to help, and getting support when the time comes. After the first draft is done. Take each step one at a time, and face the other steps when their times come.

Make it a game

Life is so much easier when you don’t take it seriously. As a writer, I’m always imagining different characters, so why not imagine myself as one, too? I use HabitRPG as a to do list, a fun, fastasy roleplaying-based take on task lists. Another alternative I haven’t used but heard good things about is LifeRPG, which has its own reddit. A lot of people enjoy Fitocracy for fitness-based tasks, and it seems like a great app.

Focus on one tiny bit at a time

I find it too easy to get focused on ALL OF THE HUGE SCARY STUFF that I get scared and my mind starts wandering and then I give up and go have a Diet Coke… Doesn’t sound familiar? Well, on the chance that it does, it helps to think as small as possible. A single sentence. A single paragraph. Tell yourself you can just write one sentence, and then go off and do whatever. The kicker? I never end up writing just one sentence.

Do a little bit every day

This pairs nicely with the one above. I put one sentence/one paragraph tasks or very short timed tasks on my to do list, including writing on my blog. By the time I want to post my blog, I just need to fill in a little bit, proofread, and it’s finished! Some examples of things I do a little of each day are writing on short stories, editing, practicing viola, and cleaning.

Take some time to brainstorm

Brainstorming is an easy way to increase both our awareness of the problem as well as possible solutions. I use several different methods to brainstorm. One is just to list things at the top of chapters in Scrivener or in a notes file for that book when I think of them. That way I can come back and have ready-made ideas when I get to that point. I also keep a Google Drive document for each book where I throw notes from my phone when I’m away from my computer.

When I want to brainstorm on a particular problem (and it doesn’t have to be a writing problem), I get out a whiteboard and Post-it notes. I write whatever comes to mind on the Post-its and just stick them on the board. I’ve found the best time to do this for me is during the commercials of a TV show I really want to watch. I usually challenge myself to come up with one idea per commercial.

Skip the beginning

I write about skipping the first chapter in this blog post. This can be extended to other projects. Just start something, even if you start in the middle, or even if you start with one section or idea. I think humans naturally invest so much anxiety in having things perfect from the beginning that we never end up starting them at all.  If you don’t have a beginning, that’s okay. Start with the idea you do have. You can always do the beginning later.

Related Posts:

Writing the End: How it should have ended
Plot Inspiration from Korean Dramas
Avoiding First Sentence/Chapter Dread

Original article: Tiny Tricks for Eventual Success.

If you would like to receive freebies, discounts, and updates about new books, sign up for my newsletter at the top right of my website.

Join me at #indierecon

Just a short note to let you know about IndieReCon, the writing and publishing conference for self published authors. I will be attending, and am excited to listen, learn, and hang out. Feel free to chat me up on Twitter during the conference.

Catch up with the convention at http://www.indierecon.org/ or on Twitter at hashtag #indierecon

Got the email to donate my book after a several day internet outage, but you can get Surfer Girl FREE on Smashwords until Thursday, Feb 27th with coupon code XD94R! Smashwords has options that should work with most e-readers, even Amazon Kindle. Find Surfer Girl on Smashwords at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/244189

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Convention Harassment – My Personal Experience

Original article: Join me at #indierecon.

If you would like to receive freebies, discounts, and updates about new books, sign up for my newsletter at the top right of my website.

Catalyst Cover Reveal

The Catalyst cover is ready!

Originally, I tried to make a cover that had Matrix-like computer code scrolling down, but there just wasn’t enough space to make it work, so I went with a more industrial edge.

Summary for Catalyst:

Believed to be the mastermind of a worldwide conspiracy, Sterling Flynn flees the CIA, now controlled by the shadow organization Deadlock. He and his tiny unit of misfit spies are hunted, imprisoned, and tortured. On the run and separated from his team and the woman he loves, he battles to keep Deadlock from securing complete control over two of the most powerful countries on Earth.

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2014 Update

Original article: Catalyst Cover Reveal.

If you would like to receive freebies, discounts, and updates about new books, sign up for my newsletter at the top right of my website.

Writing the End: How it should have ended

Writers are always looking for that plot twist that can make a book so much more memorable because the ending made everything else make sense.  If you haven’t seen How It Should Have Ended on Youtube, they take famous movies and “fix” the endings.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yqVD0...

Related Posts:

Plot Inspiration from Korean Dramas
The Pixar Theory by Jon Negroni
Tiny Tricks for Eventual Success

Original article: Writing the End: How it should have ended.

If you would like to receive freebies, discounts, and updates about new books, sign up for my newsletter at the top right of my website.