M.O. Kenyan's Blog, page 7

Audiobook Review: Bad Cruz by L.J. Shen. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ — Books Best Blog

Bad Cruz by L.J. Shen My rating: 4 of 5 stars I would say Dr. Cruz Costello is my archenemy.But that would require acknowledging one another, which we haven’t done in over a decade. He’s the town’s golden child. The beloved quarterback-turned-physician.I’m the girl who got knocked up at sixteen and now works at a […]

Audiobook Review: Bad Cruz by L.J. Shen. — Books Best Blog

Book Reviews Love them or Hate them…

So my last two books have been doing very strange.

For Remember Love, the book had polar reviews, an equal number of 5stars and 1starts and the rest settling on the 3star mark.

I really thought about tying that book up in a lovely bow and sending the characters off to their happily ever after. But it all just seemed fake and forced. These two people found themselves in a position that no one ever wants to be, with their love forgotten.

So I thought about it, googled reviews on amnesia troupe stories, and found the happy for now endings related more to the story i wanted to tell over the stitched together happily ever afters.

I then asked around, and by around I mean Reddit, and although there were the ‘write the story you want to tell few’ the majority were violently angry at a story with no happily ever afters.

After all that I wrote what I felt was right. I was at the ‘you know what, they are figuring it all out and that’s okay’ point when I wrote the ending and published the book.

Now let’s talk about the new release WORTHY. The review title, ‘Not Worthy.’ The reviewer had some strong points. There are somethings I agree on and others that I don’t.

The first review has always been very important to me, and it could mean that the book sales will either go up or tank. We are still on day two and I am waiting to see.

The other point was the cliffhanger, I’m not quite sure that the ending is a cliffhanger. You could choose to see it as one of those books published in parts or in chapters. For Worthy, it ends with a chapter of their lives that they overcame, not a book chapter. It ends with Robin finally accepting Alex’s feelings towards their father (Before you gasp and clutch your pearls, they are step-siblings). He accepts that the imperfectness of their father, was what led to Alex’s insecurities about herself.

Their story does continue, however they are in a different chapter of their lives, hence the new book ‘WORTHY OF YOU.’ It didn’t feel right putting both books together. The prologue of the second book picks up where the epilogue of the second book left off.

So here is to hoping that you still read the book and form your own conclusions and write your own reviews. I do take each one of them seriously, and use them as a guide to the next book that I write.

Third Georgia Concept ‘Atlanta’

Book Five probably; Black Love, Second Chance Romance

Wyatt Adrian Ross

Wyatt Ross looked down at his hand and he couldn’t believe that it was shaking. He had served in the Navy for nine years and was currently finished and passed his BUD/S training. He was getting ready for his new career in the military. It had more risk, and greater rewards.

But now as he stared at his trembling hands he wondered if he had made the right choice. What kind of SEAL didn’t keep his composure, showed his emotion and weakness? If he couldn’t watch his wife and best friend leave a hotel together, kiss in the parking lot and grind each other on the side of the car that he bought, how could he stare down enemy combatants. 

Naomi Smith, now Naomi Smith Ross was the love of his life. She had been his high school sweetheart and had married right after graduation. She went on to school to become an education major and Wyatt had enlisted. These were their dream jobs and they loved each other, so the distance didn’t bother them.

The first time Wyatt had seen Naomi was in the library, she kept pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose, her brow furrowed as she scribbled furiously into her notebook. Her long braids fell to the side of her head, creating an illusion of a curtain blocking her beautiful ebony skin.

As he fell deeper in love with the picture in front of him, he began to imagine all the different ways he would walk up to her and the scenarios that would unfold once he did. As if he could sense him staring at her, Naomi’s head lifted. The slit of her eyes behind her glasses turned round in surprise, and then ever so slowly a smile spread across her lips.

Naomi was smiling at him and without a choice Wyatt fell in love with her.

Once again, he was left without a choice as he watched his best friend, a man whose life he had just saved four weeks ago grab his wife’s ass and pull her body against his own. Arnaldo Fernandes, Dez to Wyatt and their unit was a man that Wyatt had called brother. A man closer to Wyatt than his own brothers Liam, Mathew, and Dylan were. Dez and Wyatt had enlisted at the same time and always found themselves deployed and assigned to the same place. They were best friends, a friendship that had been proved when Wyatt had saved Dez’s life back in Afghanistan after an ambush attack had caught Dez unprepared. Dez left for home unscathed while Wyatt was laid up in Germany with a bullet hole an inch above his heart.

Wyatt rubbed at the scar an unimaginable pain burning from it. Wyatt knew it wasn’t the bullet wound but his friend’s betrayal. Dez had been written up for that night, and that disqualified him from the BUD/S program immediately. So, Wyatt had gone on with their dream without him.

However, Dez didn’t seem broken up by it at all. Not with the way his grabby hands claimed possession over Wyatt’s wife’s body.

Wyatt asked himself why he continued to torture himself.

Why not ambush them?

Why not drive away?

Why are you sitting here watching the two people you trusted with your heart and life betray you?

The answer was he couldn’t accept what he was seeing.

Wyatt flipped his headlights on, and the love bird jumped away from each other startled. They turned to his car and Dez started towards Wyatt’s car. Wyatt’s hand automatically rested on the butt of his Glock that was sheathed at his waist.

Dez froze when he saw Wyatt.

Wyatt unholstered his gun and lay it on the dashboard of his truck. He wanted Dez to see it, he wanted him to know how it was to come close to dying at the hands of the man he called his brother. Wyatt’s hand slide from the gun to the key in the ignition. He didn’t bother looking at Naomi when he started his car and skidded out of the parking lot and onto the highway.

When Wyatt got home, he couldn’t help but cringe. Nothing in his luxury apartment called to him anymore. His home felt sullied somehow as if the only way to purify it would be to burn it down. One lamp shade at a time, a picture frame and a vase crushed to the floor. He drove his combat boots into the glass of the coffee table. He punched into the walls and ripped the cushions with his bare hands. He walked up to where their wedding frame hang, pulled it off the wall and smashed it against the kitchen island. He looked around at the mayhem and that didn’t satisfy him. He wanted to destroy everything that Naomi had touched in their home. He walked into their bedroom and dread made his stomach sink.

Had they fucked in our bed?

In our home?

The thought of Dez and Naomi defiling his home enraged him even more. With his Swiss knife he stabbed his bed multiple times, ripping it until it was nothing but shreds.

Wyatt turned towards the door when he heard the front door open and shut. It was Naomi and he couldn’t face her. He couldn’t keep herself from grovelling at her feet, from asking her to pick him and breaking up with Dez. When he walked into the living room, he watched her taking inventory of their wrecked home. She wasn’t surprised by it; she showed no emotion at the destruction of their home.

“You’re bleeding,” she said in a flat disinterested voice.

Wyatt looked himself over and saw blood where his jeans tore, and his hand that held the knife was also a covered in bright red.

“So, what now,” she asked. “I’m guessing you want a divorce.”

“Why?” Wyatt couldn’t believe that his voice came out as controlled as it did. Deep inside her was a storm fighting to come out and cause more havoc.

***

Why?

What could she say?

That she didn’t love him? That would be false.

That she hated him? That would be partially true.

That she could explain? What was there to explain. She slept with Dez and there was nothing else to it.

“He was here, and you weren’t,” Naomi said.

Wyatt stumbled back as a shocked expression claimed his face. “He was here?”

Obviously, he didn’t understand what she meant. How could he understand her when they had spent most of their marriage apart? Naomi had been so in love with Wyatt that she had reluctantly supported him when he joined the Navy. She also didn’t have the heart to tell him no when he approached her about becoming a SEAL. She loved him and although the distance between them killed her, she couldn’t stop him from following his dream.

But when her parents had died in a car crush, Naomi had expected Wyatt to be by her side, but he wasn’t. He had gone off on a mission and could not be reached. By the time he came back home it had been a week after her parent’s funeral. Naomi remembered how alone she felt, and that loneliness had followed her a year later.

Dez had showed up three months ago when Wyatt was in BUD/S. She didn’t seduce him, but she hadn’t turned him down when he started to kiss her after they had both spent two hours drinking and crying over their losses. Naomi her family and Dez his military career. In the silence of her living room, a quiet that had only been interrupted by the occasional rumblings of I hate Wyatt, Wyatt thinks he’s so perfect the former by her and the latter by Dez. They had kissed and ended up having sex on the one piece of furniture that Wyatt had picked, the sofa.

She looked down at it and winced at the rage its owner had taken out on it.

“Did you fuck him in our home?”

Wyatt low voice held a deadly promise. But that didn’t faze her.

“The first time, here on this couch. Then we used your money to go to hotels. It was much better in hotels, I didn’t have to clean up after,” Naomi said.

“Why?” a crock in his armour of anger showed as his voice wailed, and tears rolled down his cheeks.

He was hurting, but she didn’t care. No, caring had nothing to do with it. She cared, she was just indifferent to his pain, just as he was to hers.

“I lost my only family, but you couldn’t be bothered to be beside me when I laid them to rest.”

“And Dez?”

“He came to see me, and we bonded over our mutual hate for you,” she said. “That’s when we fucked on your couch.”

Wyatt glared at her silently for a while. A myriad of emotions played on his face and Naomi thought that he was finally going to make his decision. She knew what it would be. There was no way Wyatt would leave her. They had been each other’s first everything. Naomi was sure that they would spend a lifetime torturing each other.

Naomi turned towards the front door when she heard the lock click open. Dez walked in and Wyatt watched him silently. Naomi’s eyes flickered to the blade shaking in Wyatt’s hand. Only then did the indifference fade away when she realised the dangerous situation that they were in.

“Ross,” Dez started. “I’m sorry man, but we’re in love.”

“I’m not,” Naomi blurted out. “What would give you that idea.”

“We’ve been together for months now,” Dez turned to her, taking her hand in his.

“Months,” she heard Wyatt mutter.

Naomi saw a blur at the corner of her eye. She didn’t know what it was until she felt Dez’s hand slip from her with a hard yank. Wyatt was on top of Dez punching him with the butt of the knife.

He’s going to kill him, the thought froze in her mind as fear clenched her. The thought of loosing Wyatt sobered her up and ripped off her nonchalant bravado.

“STOP!” she yelled.

Dez kicked Wyatt of him, pulling out his own knife he lunged at Wyatt, the shiny length of his blade disappearing into Wyatt’s chest. Naomi let out a scream as Wyatt flipped Dez over and rained punches on his face.

“I wish I never saved your life, I wish I left you die in that ambush. If I wasn’t fighting for my life in Germany I would have been here with Naomi when she needed me. I should have let you die.”

“She loves me, not you,” Dez spat blood out with his words. “If she loved you, she never would have been with me.”

The words ping ponged around Naomi’s head over and over again. She had betrayed not just Wyatt but herself.

“I love you,” she muttered. “I LOVE YOU!”

Second Concept ‘Savannah Georgia’

Book One; IR/MC Military Romance

Caleb Beaumont

There were days in his life that Caleb would never forget. Moments that changed him and turned him into a different person. The day he enlisted, the day he was deployed, the day he became a Ranger, the day he made his mother cry, the day his father disowned him and the day his big brother cut him out of his life. All these moments started on a day he regretted, one he wished never happened. When his big brother Gabriel caught him in bed with his fiancé.

Melissa had been engaged to Gabriel for six months. The wedding planning had just begun but the bride had been more interested in Gabriel’s eighteen-year-old brother than cake tasting.

Caleb could blame it on immaturity or his need to rebel. But he knew what he was doing when he let Melissa suck his dick on the couch he watched football with his three brothers. He was a gangly teenage boy about to see and touch a naked woman for the first time. It was the first time a woman had put her hand down his pants and claim hid dick. The first time a woman’s tongue had licked his balls. Melissa was excited to be his first and he was just excited. Caleb’s virginity had been an aphrodisiac to the stunning, bust law student.

Caleb had been too bust listening to Melissa’s passionate screaming instructions, to the sound of their wet bodies slapping against each other. TO how crazy her warm wetness made him feel. The roaring in his ears had kept him from hearing his big brother open the front door and walk to his bedroom. Caleb was too busy chasing his release that his brother’s fist connecting with his jaw didn’t stop his orgasm. He lay on the bedroom floor as his body shook in satisfaction, deaf to Melissa’s accusatory screams and Gabriel’s enraged roars of betrayal. It wasn’t until the fog of his climax had cleared from his head that Caleb realised the gravity of his actions.

He had betrayed his own blood for a quickie.

New Series ‘Georgia’

Hey, so I have been thinking about creating a new series after the New Yorkers/ Dear New York called P.S Georgia.

Check out the three (of ten) that I have so far.

Ava Marie Ross

Atlanta 1. AMBW Second Chance, Secret Baby Romance

Lee Jin Ki, Lee Ki to his friends and just Lee to the woman he loved. Lee stared out of his hotel room window, fascinated about the moon and where it stood in the midst of the little stars in that deep blue sky. He wondered how it knew where it was supposed to be and how it knew it was doing its job right.

Lee didn’t know if her was being a good son or boyfriend. He especially didn’t know if he could be a good husband. It had been easy for him to turn his back on his parents, how easy would it be to walk away from Ava. The only son of a real estate empire, they hadn’t wanted him to marry Ava. They had already picked a South Korean wife for him, the daughter of another prominent family.

Since the day he was born, Lee had done everything that his parents expected of him. Then he went to Harvard on an exchange program and met Ava Marie Ross. She was everything that he wasn’t. Spontaneous, adventurous, defiant, and independent.

He had never met anyone who seemed to exist in their own orbit. She was like the sun and life gravitated and revolved around her. Men wanted her and women wanted to be her. Cliché but true.

Lee had always been taught that there was always someone out there who was better than him. But when Ava first looked at him, when their eyes locked, she chose him and ever since then he was in utter disbelief about it. He was lucky to have her love, her loyalty, and her trust. That was why his decision was tearing him up inside.

While Ava came from a large warm family that supported all her decisions, Lee’s home was cold and instructional. He was surprised that Ava’s parents allowed their eldest son to join the career and leave the family business behind. The Ross family had embraced him immediately and slowly he had learned that Ava’s parents expected their children to create a life of their own.

Lee looked over at Ava as she turned to lay on her stomach, the white sheet slipped lower down her ebony back and a content sigh left her lips and filled the room.

A life of his own making.

He would never have that, and the insistent beeping of his phone reminded him that. He was on borrowed time, and he was determined to make the best of it.

YOUNG ADULT FANTASY

Amazon Buy Link/ Free on KU

BOOK ONE

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Sloan survived a vicious attack as a child that left her scarred and cost the life of her parents. She was living happily with her grandmother in Africa when her uncle brings her back to the states to live with him. In New York, she is introduced to her hunter family, who have dedicated their lives to kill a demon that has been terrorizing the world for centuries. Complications begin when Sloan unknowingly begins a romantic relationship with the demon.

Kellan, marked her with the scar and comes to claim Sloan. Jake, a Hunter trying to kill Kellan for the murder of Sloan’s parents, falls in love with Sloan. Torn between the two, Sloan has to witness the people around her die as they try to protect her.

BOOK TWO

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There is a battle of good and evil and soon she will be forced to make a choice. Who or what will be her choice? One man is willing to kill for her, while the other is willing to give his life for her.
Sloan realizes that life is her greatest enemy, she has something growing inside her, giving her abilities she never knew were possible before her Hunter life. Since she can’t run away from it, she decides to go home and seek help from her family, the Hunters.
Moving on proves to be harder than he thought, especially, with all the unfinished business left behind. Having giving up his life for Sloan, Jake gives up death too. He struggles to find a way out of the afterlife back to his love.
In their journey to salvation they find their true identities.

ENJOY!

Free on KU

HOLD YOUR BREATH

It’s not about time, it’s never been about time.

It’s about the size of the wound that has been left in your heart,

And if we can still breathe while it hurts.

It’s about staying sane when it hurts like crazy.

We are all crazy,

Some of us just hide it better than others.

Some of us get a little better at hiding it,

Some of us get crazier.

Some of us remain that way, just crazy.

Driven to a mental breakdown after finding out about his wife’s assault, Can is desperate to protect his family. Caged in his own fears, he is torn between his two families as Baki fights him to regain his victim.

Read the story here; https://www.wattpad.com/967756865-ke%C5%9Fke-part-two-hold-your-breath

KEŞKE

If only I didn’t leave..



If only you didn’t leave…



If only I confided in you…



If only I stood by you…



If only you protected me…



If only I protected you…



Less of a battle and more of a series of lessons on how a battle unfolded and the consequences of every choice she and others made to her life.



Letting herself retrace her steps and weigh out her moves, she couldn’t come to regret anything from the moment she decided to come back to Istanbul.



This was it, the realities of a necessary sacrifice to achieve a greater goal.



“For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo.” ― William Shakespeare

Hey guys part one of my #CanDem fan fiction is completed and the second part starts in November!!!

https://www.wattpad.com/story/204123816-ke%C5%9Fke

SHORT KINDLE UNLIMITED INTERRACIAL ROMANCE READS

[image error]THE REBEL’S OWN FREE ON KINDLE UNLIMITED

Back in high school, a cruel “game” by the popular crowd left shy Kennedy Bailey pregnant and alone. But now she’s gorgeous and grown-up and she won’t let anything stop her from saving the life of her five-year-old son when he’s diagnosed with leukemia. Even if it means confronting his father, NFL quarterback Ryan Carville.

As her child’s health takes a turn for the worse, Kennedy feels helpless and resolves to pull off a daring scheme—seducing Ryan to create another baby to save the one they already have. They reconnect for a steamy one-night stand, but Ryan can’t forget about the dark beauty.

When he discovers the truth of who she is, Ryan is shocked and determined to give his son everything he needs, which includes marrying his mother. But a quickie wedding in Vegas won’t solve all their problems. Can Ryan show Kennedy that he’s changed from a spineless boy to a man worth loving?

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LOVE REKINDLED FREE ON KINDLE UNLIMITED

Sandra suffers a tragedy that is quickly followed by a divorce. She never thought anything could hurt as much as losing her sister Kristy, God was she wrong. Completely deflated and defeated, comfort comes from a man she’d spent years avoiding, Ronald. Would he be the one to save her from her pain, or would he cause her more?

 

 

[image error]LOVE ME RIGHT FREE ON KINDLE UNLIMITED

Jolie Simmons has been dreaming about being Mrs. MacKenzie Masters since she was thirteen. She has been in love with the boy from across the street for years and already has their wedding and their happily ever after planned out. But those plans are derailed two days after her eighteenth birthday when his parents die and Mac leaves to join the air force. Five years later, he’s back to turn her life upside down again. Should she give him a chance, or will he abandon her and break her heart again?

 

 

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HIS LOVE FREE ON KINDLE UNLIMITED

Antonio Burke can’t seem to be able to keep his hands off his daughter’s nanny. He had sworn off love ever since the love of his life died giving birth to his daughter. But the guilt of cheating on her memory is not as strong as the need and the lust that he feels for Rayne.

Rayne was just trying to get her life back together, she didn’t expect to be a surrogate mother to a little girl, a lover to her boss and pregnant within a month of her new life. Now she has to figure out whether or not she wants a life with Antonio Burke a man who was hot and passionate in bed, but cold and mean outside of it.

Can Rayne win the competition for Antonio’s love against a ghost?

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LOVE REAFFIRMED FREE ON KINDLE UNLIMITED

William loses his wife Kristy in a car accident. Plagued with sorrow and pain, for a few months he believes she’s still alive. Trapped between reality and fantasy, he’s the only one who doesn’t realize it.

Kristy, unable to watch her love suffer alone, comes back to him. When he acts like she never left, she doesn’t bother to tell him she’s a ghost.

Once William is forced to face that Kristy is truly dead, he breaks down and goes on a destructive path. Afraid that he might actually succeed in killing himself, Kristy must come up with a solution to keep him sane. . .and alive.

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LOVE LETTERS FREE ON KINDLE UNLIMITED

Maxine did not believe in soul mates or the term ‘love of my life’. According to her, life was a revolving door which people walked in and out of. However, when she finds herself at a crucible, she holds on to love. The love of a mother, a husband and that of a lover. The past shades a light into her confused present and Taylor, the boy she never thought she could count on is by her side every step of the way.

 

Join our FB Group to find IR/MC romances available on Kindle Unlimited.

THE REBEL’S OWN

Charleston High, Spring 2006

“It’s almost prom, superstar. Have you chosen your prom sacrifice?”

Ryan Carville snickered at his best friend Matt’s question and looked around the crowded lunchroom. His target had to be someone none of his friends had been with, an untouched girl. The football team at Charleston High had a running game off the field. The United Tastes game awarded each football player points to “taste” a girl, the uglier the better. Fat girls, tall girls, black or Asian or Hispanic—any of the “different” girls who lurked on the fringes of the high school were fair game.

And, most importantly they had to be virgins. There had to be proof, and a video was worth five points more than a picture. Ryan had to download those videos from the internet, anything to make it seem like he was winning and yet not compromising his morals. Already he was stooping low by participating in the game, but he felt weak against the expectations of his father, Mathew, and the pressure of being part of a team.

“So have you, Ry?” His girlfriend, Clara, smiled up at him. He stared at the top of the petite blonde’s cheerleading uniform, his eyes drawn to the sweetheart neckline tugged low to show off her cleavage and the tops of her round breasts. She went against the rules, high school was her kingdom and she was the queen bee.

The captain of the cheerleading squad, Clara had been the one to convince him to join the United Tastes game. She’d complained that his innocent demeanor was quickly making him—and by extension, her—unpopular.

Ryan had been uncomfortable with the idea, but he went along with it. He’d already gotten his football scholarship from Oregon and high school would be over in a couple months anyway.

He shrugged now and watched as Clara’s head whipped back to the crowded cafeteria, her blond bouncy locks flying with the motion. “How about…her?”

Ryan lifted his eyes from his girlfriend’s golden ringlets to the crowd. There was a group of girls where Clara was pointing, and obviously they were all from the Math Club. “Who?”

“The girls in the Math Club are so lame,” Matt groaned. Ryan’s best friend was the United Tastes’s scorekeeper and camera guy. “What? He’s gonna learn about the square root of pie between her legs?” He leered.

“One, I already know the answer to that, and two, that is a big club. They could jump me and destroy my football career before it starts by killing me,” Ryan joked.

“Especially the big one,” Matt sneered.

Ryan forced a smile. He needed the school year to be over already. He needed to get away from this psychotic group and hang around normal people “I was talking about the girl behind the math dorks,” Clara said. “The squad already did a background check on her. She’s a loner and most importantly a virgin. She doesn’t have any friends so you don’t have to worry about a group of ugly ducklings hunting you down. Plus she needs someone to pay attention to her, even if it’s for only one night.”

“I don’t know.” Ryan watched the girl sitting all alone eating her lunch for a few minutes. Her head stayed down the whole time, like she was worried someone might notice her. Unfortunately for her, Clara had already seen her. There was nothing and no one who could save her now.

Ryan sighed. The sooner he got it done, the better. He didn’t even know her name and he was already planning on how he was going to rob her of her innocence.

“If you choose her, I will make it worth your while.” Clara smiled at him suggestively.

And when she winked at him, his heart and his penis throbbed.

“Alright,” he said, a slow sly smile creeping on his lips. Being with the prom sacrifice was a small “sacrifice” to be with Clara again. Just like the United Tastes game, their sexual relationship was based on a reward system. If he scored a touchdown, or was the leading scorer or did something that would make her more popular, he was rewarded with sex.

He sighed as he stood up, and then took a step towards his unwitting victim.

*

Kennedy Bailey moved her lunch around her meal tray. The crowded tables of the Charleston High cafeteria buzzed with conversation and laughter, but she kept her head down, methodically pushing her instant mashed potatoes into piles with her fork. The last thing she wanted was someone to notice her. She could almost hear the mocking already. When the other kids found out she shopped at the Salvation Army and that her shoes had been mended so many times the cobbler offered to buy her a new pair, they would tease her. She was going to survive high school only if she kept to herself. Kennedy felt people moving around her, and she ducked her head lower, her nose practically touching her lunch tray.

“Hey Kennedy!” She ignored the greeting, but could see one of the girls from the Mathletes waving at the next table. The only reason they knew about her, was because her A+ in advanced calculus had prompted the school math’s professor to ask her to join the club. Of course, she’d turned the offer down, but the club members were hounding her trying to recruit her. She would’ve liked to have joined them, but with the way things were at home, that was impossible.

Her life was not her own. She had to help her mother with her ailing father. Her mother worked nights and took care of her father when Kennedy was in school. She had to get home before five every night, so that her mother could take off for her job. But the math club ran from four to six pm. Although she knew they would probably allow her to leave early, it would mean she would have to tell them about the situation at home. She didn’t want her personal life on the lips of strangers. Kennedy knew from past experience what would happen when they found out about her dad.

Her father had never been great at holding a job, but he was a champ at holding his liquor. He was so bad at times, that Kennedy was sure all the blood in his veins was replaced by Jameson whiskey. Alcohol poisoning had caused his liver to fail, and six months ago he’d been diagnosed with lung cancer. With no health insurance, Kennedy and her mother had to play hospice nurses.

At least now, he was too sick to be a mean drunk.

Kennedy had this eerie feeling that someone was watching her, but to her surprise it wasn’t the Mathletes. When she lifted her head, she could see the whole football and cheerleading teams staring at her. She pulled her hair out of its knot at the back of her head and pushed the thick braids forward to cover her face. But the creepy feeling persisted. After a few seconds she looked up again and met the unblinking stare of Ryan Carville, who was standing a few feet away.

The varsity quarterback. Who didn’t know the team superstar? She obviously hadn’t had the time to watch any of his games. But by the number of people who wanted to associate with him, or the girls who would fight each other to touch him, pinning for him, she assumed he was good.

She felt her whole body go limp and her heart race when he started walking towards her. He couldn’t be coming to talk to her.

Could he?

She looked over to the jock and cheerleader table. Clara Smith, the cheerleaders’ captain, smiled back at her. The way her lips pulled over her magnificent white teeth, sent chills down her spine. Rumor was she and Ryan were dating, but Kennedy knew he’d been out with other girls too.

What she didn’t understand was what he wanted with her. She wasn’t his usual type, all made up in short skirts, designer shoes, jewelry, and layers of make-up on her face. Compared to those girls, she was plainer than the discolored mashed potatoes in front of her.

No, there was no way he was coming to talk to her.

Kennedy sighed and straightened up. But just as she’d begun to pull her hair back again, Ryan slid into the bench of her lunch table. Kennedy looked at him puzzled and lost for words.

“Hi!” he said as he smiled at her.

“Uh…Uhmmm…,” Kennedy cleared her throat to loosen the bundle of nerves there, and finally said, “Hi.”

“My friends and I were wondering if you would like to come watch us practice after school.” The drawl in his voice pulled her in. And as if that wasn’t enough, the sparkle in his blue eyes brought out the jet black color of his hair and bronzed skin, that she knew was from playing out in the sun. His arms were muscular, a thick vein running along each, the sleeves of his t-shirt stretched to the limit. And his smile was so bright he deserved to be in toothpaste commercial.

“Yes. I mean…I mean no, sorry, I can’t come,” she quickly said.

“But why?” He smiled at her once again and his hand reached out to hers. Kennedy’s heart jumped into her throat, a sliver of shock running through her body. He traced circles in her palm. “I promise to make sure you have a lot of fun.”

“I-” Kennedy gasped, fighting the need pulling at her body. “I’m sorry I can’t.” Just then she wished she had a different family, that she could say yes to Ryan and follow him around like a sick puppy. Like that blonde cheerleader did. She’d thought that was his girlfriend, but maybe she’d been wrong.

He frowned for a few seconds, but then it vanished, a smile stretching on his face once more. “Hey, it’s okay. Maybe next time,” Ryan said. Then he stood up and walked away.

*

Maybe next time. Six hours later, the words echoed in Kennedy’s mind as she stared at herself in the mirror. Why would he want to be with her in the first place? A disgusted frown claimed her lips as she tried to look for a positive part of her body. She wasn’t fat, but she was bulgy, her braids were odd and due to be taken out. Her dark skin seemed ashy and unhealthy. There was not a single thing beautiful about her.

In a mindless rage, she grabbed her bottle of lotion and flung it at the floor-length mirror. She grimaced when the loud sound of glass shattering was followed by the tinkle of the glass falling to the floor. She bent down and assessed the mess she had caused and began picking up the shattered glass. She held a piece up and stared into her own reflection on its glossy surface. Who was she? She didn’t know. Ryan didn’t know. But with Ryan talking to her, she was going to be someone. The whole school would know her by first period the next morning. They would whisper behind her back about how lucky she was.

Who was she kidding? They would be comparing her to Clara, and everyone would realize how ugly she was and they would make fun of her.

But not Ryan. He had come to talk to her, not the other way around. She could tell he didn’t have an agenda and he definitely wasn’t prompted. She couldn’t wait to see him again.

“He doesn’t even know my name. He didn’t even get my number.” she whispered. How was he going to be able to contact her again?

“Kenny?” she heard her father’s exhausted voice calling out to her.

She let out a whine as she stomped off towards her dad’s frail calls.

*

“Hey!”

Kennedy jumped, as the voice whispering into her ear startled her. She turned around and came face to face with Ryan. She let her hand caress her neck, and the warmth his breath had left there made her tingle.

“Hi.” She tried not to sound too enthusiastic. The last thing she wanted was for him to think she was a dork.

“What time do you get off school today?” He leaned back on a locker, his hands tucked into his jeans. It was such a causal simple gesture, but to Kennedy everything he did was remarkable. She tried to copy the posture, but had forgotten that her locker was still open and lost her balance, stumbling back. Tear prickled her eyes as her face heated in shame. There was no way her fumbling looked natural. She looked away, not wanting to see the embarrassment in Ryan’s face.

“You’re funny!” he laughed.

She let the sound wash over her, somehow cleansing her of all the clumsiness. She stood up straight, trying to copy the posture of the cheerleader at the locker next to hers. “I try,” she said.

Kennedy caught the look the cheerleader shot them. She didn’t know what it meant. It definitely wasn’t jealousy, because no one was ever jealous of her. She felt pride swell in her chest. She was one of the girls, the ones that got the boy at the end.

“What time do you get off school?” He asked again.

“At three-thirty, why?” She tossed her braids just as the cheerleader did. Hoping she looked just as sexy. But her hair fell around her face, like a curtain.

Ryan laughed again, and this time Kennedy wasn’t afraid to laugh at herself. He leaned in closer, pushing her hair back and whispered, “You don’t need to be like anyone else. Just be you, it’s the perfect person to be,” He smiled again, but this time the laughter didn’t reach his eyes. “It’s not fun having to mold yourself to what people think you should be.”

He looked sad, even disappointed in a way. But before she could say anything, Ryan turned around and walked down the hall. She made an attempt to follow him, but he was soon surrounded by the cheerleading squad and football team. They were like a hundred-foot wall that she wouldn’t be able to scale to reach him.

*

“So?”

Ryan groaned when Matt and some of the other guys from the team swarmed around him in the hall. “How is the prepping of the prom sacrifice going?”

Ryan looked at his best friend, wondering how the same guy who, is usually kind could get so excited about this shitty game. What they were doing wasn’t right.

The truth was, Ryan had been making mistake after mistake ever since he joined the football team. He had joined for the love of the game, for the instant family he would gain. His father had been proud of him. telling him to tow the line in order to be accepted. But according to Ryan, the price of being accepted was too steep. His conscience wouldn’t let him rest. He couldn’t wait for his school year to end, he had to get away from all the pressure.

“ “Hey man, don’t you think we’re getting a little too old for this game?”

Matt froze. He turned to face the group, and sporting his best salesman smile, said, “Do you mind giving us a second, guys?”

Grabbing him by the arm, Matt dragged him to a corner. “What’s this all about, Ry?” He swallowed. “I just, I don’t know, man. This game it’s….it’s not right.” He

restlessly combed his fingers through his thick hair. “Football season is over. Why do we need to keep doing this stuff?”

“Let’see, it might be because it’s a game sanctioned by the coach. You want him to write you a good letter of recommendation, don’t you? One bad review-,” Matt snapped his fingers and Ryan jumped, “-and its over for you.”

Ryan sighed. “Yeah, I hear you, Matt, but—“

“But nothing!” He slapepd Ryan on the back. “Just hold it together, man. Prom is next week, then a week after that, we graduate.”

Reluctantly, Ryan agreed. He only had to get through prom, then he was headed to Oregon. He had kept the scholarship news to himself because he didn’t want the team to think that he regarded himself as being better than they were. He hadn’t even told Clara or Matt.

“You’re right.”

“Of course I’m right. After Western Civ, tux-hunting!” The bell rang suddenly and Matt slipped through their classroom doorway.

Suddenly, Kennedy edged by and through the door as well. Stunned, Ryan realized that he had been in the same class as her for an entire year and had never noticed. He walked in and took a seat behind her. “Hey!”

Kennedy turned around and the same shocked expression she always had whenever he talked to her was back. He bit back a smile. He remembered how surprised he’d been when Clara started paying attention to him sophomore year. Of course, he’d been shocked because Clara had ignored him for most of freshman year. He’d had to grow a foot and a half, pack on fifty pounds of muscle and score his first touchdown before she started to talk to him.

With this memory, Ryan sat back, rethinking his decision to go through with his prom sacrifice once more. But the kick to the bottom of his chair—that had to be Matt—

prompted him to just do it.

“So,” he blurted, “I was wondering if you wanted to go to prom with me?” “What?”

Ryan watched as her excited expression quickly turned wary. Some instinct or female sixth sense was warning her about him. But he could see the excited part of her slowly winning. “Clara is going to be out of town and I don’t want her cheerleading brats to volunteer. I can’t stand the vapid snakes.”

She didn’t look convinced. “But hey, if you don’t want to go, I guess I can ask someone else…”

“No!”

The whole class turned to stare at them. For the first time since he started playing football, Ryan felt himself shrink away from the attention. “No, you won’t be my date, or—”

“No, don’t ask anyone else.” Kennedy twirled a braid round her finger. “But, uh, do you think you could take me on a date before then?”

“Sure, how about this Saturday?” Ryan knew that he shouldn’t have accepted. He didn’t know what Clara would have planned for the weekend. However, the innocent joy on Kennedy’s face compelled him to show her a good time before he crushed her.

*

Kennedy twirled in front of her bedroom mirror. She had bought herself a new dress for the date. She had begged her mother for the money, but her mother had chosen her father’s medication over her teenage daughter’s happiness. That was when Kennedy had done something totally contrary to who she was. She had taken the money anyway and bought herself a pair of shoes and a dress for her date and used the rest of it to rent a dress for prom. She would be among a handful of juniors invited to senior prom. She had to look her best; she had even swiped some of her mother’s make-up.

In her mind, Kennedy could see Ryan picking her over Clara. He would go to college and become a football star while she finished senior year. Then she would join him, and they would be the star couple. She could already see the huge mansion they would live in, their wedding, and their three children. Tonight was the beginning of forever.

Kennedy never thought that she would ever have such confidence. Her entire life, she had hidden behind her braids. She didn’t want anyone looking at her and seeing what she really was—a poor, unattractive girl totally lacking a social life.

Once she thought she was ready, she slowly crept past her parents’ bedroom where her father slept, and ran down the stairs and out of the house. She walked down the road and took a bus into town. There was no way Ryan was going to see her house, or the shady part of town she came from. Today she was determined to be the girl she wished she was.

*

Ryan couldn’t stop himself from staring at Kennedy for most of the night. The ugly duckling was gone. Her braids were pulled back, exposing the beautiful contours of her face. This was the first date he had ever had with a girl who was purely interested in him and not in his claim to fame. They hadn’t talked football once all night. After her initial nervousness faded, Kennedy had quickly shown herself to be a vibrant, fun-loving girl. Ryan was pleasantly surprised to realize he wouldn’t mind taking her to prom solely for the pleasure of her company.

“How come you didn’t have a date for prom?” Ryan brought the subject up, hoping that she had changed her mind or might suddenly tell him she had actually accepted someone else’s offer. But judging by the stars twinkling in her eyes, she was dead set on going with him.

“I’m not as popular or as beautiful as the other girls.”

“You’re not like the other girls. You’re radiant; your beauty comes from the inside. Everything special about those girls comes out of a bottle.”

Ryan mentally cursed himself. He shouldn’t have said that. The last thing he needed was for Kennedy to form an attachment to him. “I mean, you shouldn’t compare yourself to them. The only person you can be is yourself.” He shook his head, muttering the rest almost to himself. “Some of us would kill to be ourselves.”

Kennedy stared at him. “Thank you.”

He coughed, the awkward moment. “So, you know, I could have picked you up tonight. At least I would know where to tell the limo driver to go on prom night.”

She hesitated before answering. “I thought it would be easier to meet here.” Ryan could tell she was lying. Kennedy wore her emotions on her sleeve. It was

obvious just from spending a few hours with her. He didn’t know why she would lie. Maybe she didn’t have permission to go out with him. “What about prom night?”

“If you give me your number, I’ll tell you where.” “I could drop you at home.” “No!”

Her rushed and firm answer confirmed what he thought. No one knew she was out here with him. This made him feel almost predatory. Although he supposed he was in a way, and the innocent girl before him was his prey.

“Okay.” The seconds that followed were filled with silence. Ryan thought it was better to end their date then. “I have to get going. Do you want me to walk you anywhere?”

“No, I’m fine.”

*

On prom night, Kennedy let the tears fall where they may. She was grounded. When she had arrived home late from her date her mother had unexpectedly been home.

Rebecca Bailey always worked the graveyard shift at the hospital, so Kennedy had thought that she would be able to sneak back in the house undetected. But her father had called her mother when he couldn’t locate his pain medications or Kennedy. What was worse was that they found out that Kennedy had stolen the money. Now she was grounded. And she’d had to stay home from school all week, so she hadn’t even been able to tell Ryan that she couldn’t go.

All Kennedy could do now was stare at the beautiful yellow gown that hung in her closet. Her life with Ryan had come to an abrupt halt. The thought sent her into a panic. Se had to go, she had to show Ryan that she hadn’t ditched him. Kennedy looked at her watch; it was just eight o’clock. Her father was sleeping soundly. She could go for an hour and be back before he even knew she was missing. She hurriedly got dressed and ran to school, three blocks away.

When Kennedy got there she was out of breath and disheveled. She used the reflection on the glass door to straighten up and walked into the school gym with the pride of a peacock. Her eyes scanned the room for Ryan, but before she could go to him, he spotted her and took several large strides to her.

This was where she thought he would ask her to dance. She thought that he would twirl her around the room, showing her off and seal their night with a kiss. But Ryan didn’t do that.

Instead, he took her hand and led her out of the gym to the parking lot. He seemed drunk, but Kennedy brushed that off. It was prom night after all. She didn’t argue when he silently led her to the backseat of his car, or when he pushed her dress to her waist. She didn’t say a word when he unzipped his pants and positioned himself between her legs. Never did she protest when his fingers invaded her. When he touched her, she came apart in his arms. And when his eyes filled with sorrow and lust bore into hers, she didn’t push him away. Instead she shimmied down, making sure she was comfortable, that he was comfortable. He placated her with kisses, silencing her cry of pain when he entered her. Her arms held him tightly in place as he moved over her. Her back arched, her legs scissor locked at his back. She rose and fell to his urging, begging him to go deeper and to take her harder.

When they rode out their climax, he held her in his arms. She kept up the silence when he led her to the front seat. Ryan pretended not to see Matt, recording them on his phone. He only wished that Matt hadn’t been there the whole time. He took his place behind the wheel and drove her home. She was still silent when he held the door open for her. She didn’t even ask how he knew where she lived. Ryan kissed her again, tenderly, gently and sweetly. She was so satisfied by his actions that she went into the house without saying a word to him.

*

Kennedy’s summer wasn’t what she had pictured. Ryan didn’t come to see her. He didn’t ask her out on dates or spend his days with her. She had not heard or seen him in three months. But his absence wasn’t the only thing that devastated her.

For the first time in years, Kennedy was excited to go back to school. She was a senior now. She expected some sort of respect from her schoolmates. She’d been Ryan Carville’s prom date, after all.

But the snickering behind her back and the pointing whenever she walked down the halls wasn’t something she’d expected. Kennedy plucked nervously at the oversized sweatshirt she wore, pulling it away from her stomach, but the looks kept coming.

It wasn’t until she walked into the library and sat down at one of the computers that she understood. Someone must have used it right before her, because on the screen she saw her picture on a website beneath a bright, blinking banner that read The United Tastes. Her photo was under Ryan’s and next to it was her name, grade, her address and the title prom sacrifice.

Kennedy blinked as the words registered, and her eyes ran down the list of the other players and the other girls, all outcasts at Charleston. Like she was. She quickly ran out of the room, the laughter of her classmates following her. Even worse were the looks of pity that people shot her.

She was an idiot. Hate, anger, and bitterness flooded through Kennedy. She was going to hate Ryan Carville for the rest of her life. And if God had any mercy on her, she would leave this earth without setting her eyes on him ever again.

She made it home and ran into her mother’s arms. Her father looked on, worry lines marring his already exhausted expression.

“Mama, I’m so sorry. Mama, I’m pregnant.”

Kennedy was carrying the quarterback’s baby.

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