Raeden Zen's Blog, page 501
September 19, 2012
chiefsmokalot:
fuhkedup:
id-rather-have-food:
roasted garlic...
roasted garlic steak sandwich
Mmm
Munchies annihilator.
September 18, 2012
imycarsrc:
Car designers are just going to have to come up with...
Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.
September 17, 2012
Rant of the Day
Um, this one takes the award for rant of the month. By far. (Prepare yourself)
“50 Shades of Grey” Review, Via a friend on Goodreads:
Garbage. Absolutely horrifying, utter trash. A waste of trees, bookshelf space and precious, oh so very fucking precious braincells. Honestly, why is this even published? Every single book store in Sydney is promoting this tripe, claiming it to be some kind of awesome romance novel. Are you absolutely shitting me? There is nothing romantic at all about this ‘book’. And I don’t mean the BDSM erotica themes, I mean the fifty levels of abuse in this friggin’ thing.
In fact, that’s what this book should be called. ‘Fifty shades of absolute-fucking-insanity-and-abuse’. I know at least every one star reviewer has taken the title and created their own pun with it, but fuck it, I’m jumping on the bandwagon too.
Before I decided to read this (God help me), I kept seeing it everywhere I went, and the book store where I work was involved in the promotion among other book store chains. Typical. All me and my co-workers knew that it was smut, and a hell of a lot of it too. We even turned the book into a drinking game, and it goes as thus: Flip to a random page of the book. If it’s something dirty, take a drink. I do not recommend this game, for one could die from alcohol poisoning within the first round. But if you’re feeling adventurous… by all means. Glad I could be of service to your crazy party ideas.
But anyway, let’s cut to my opinion of this abomination of literature. I decided to read it because it sounded like garbage, and I haven’t written a review about garbage in too long. I owed something to the people who actually found me worthwhile to follow on Goodreads. So I decided hell, I’ll review this.
Brain cells I will never, ever, EVER, get back.
This is literally the worst book I have ever read, and I say that about many books. But this is the worst book for a damn good reason. Let’s talk about what I hated about this book. The bottom line is I hated absolutely everything. And I’m not saying that to be funny, I’m saying that out of all seriousness. I didn’t find a single redeeming quality in this book. With the Hush, hush series we at least had the unintentional hilarity and the awesomeness of Marcie. In Twilight we had that chick who wanted to kill Bella and Tyler’s van. Fifty shades of Grey has no such redeeming qualities. The characters are bland and merely props to set the stage for fucking weird BDSM-ing, and the plot was lost somewhere in the vagina of the author’s wet dream. (Believe me, I feel weird for even typing these words.)
Not to mention, even though everyone already knows this, this was originally a Twilight fan fiction called ‘Master of the universe’ or some shitty, stupid title like that. How did such a thing get published? What, Twilight wasn’t horrible and abuse-glorifying enough, so we had to kick it up a notch with publishing ‘Master of the universe’? Are you people serious? Why is it that dumber and dumber things are getting published? Quality is almost non-existent. Fucking hell.
But before I rant on for hours about that, let’s talk about the characters. Oh, I mean props. Yeah, props is more appropriate. Why? Because the characters, for all the personality they had may as well have been props.
Our first main prop is Ana, aka Bella Swan. The plain, virginal wallflower who thinks lowly of herself whilst everyone around her just seems to freaking worship her. She is also clumsy, reads books, has divorced parents, doesn’t get along with her step-father, and is a brain dead moronic twat. Remind you of anyone? I wonder who you’re thinking of. That is a humdinger, isn’t it? I’m amazed how many women are not pissed off with her complete lack of sense and self-respect. She lets a man abuse her physically and emotionally, and allows him to satiate his ever-growing need to control her completely, passing it off as some cute obsessive habit. And even if she has doubts and runs away, she comes running back to him only seconds after. How are people not pissed off about this? Seriously? Not to mention she has zero personality, zero brain-cells, and zero common sense. Her character serves no purpose other than becoming some abusive asshole’s sex toy.
And let’s not forget our second main prop, Christian Grey, aka Edward Cullen, aka creepy-stalker-sociopathic-megalomaniacal-abusive-horrifying-asshole. The fact that he has fangirls in the real world has pretty much ruined my faith in mankind, and the new generation. Christian Gray pretty much pushes the limits that Edward Cullen, Patch, Daniel and others have yet to push due to their PG ratings, but fuck does Christian Grey push those fucking limits. He physically abuses Ana, and it somehow gets excused on the account that she was briefly aroused by it. SERIOUSLY PEOPLE?? SERIOUSLY?? Fuck my life. He also decides what she should eat, what she should wear, how she should act, speak, communicate with him, where she can and can’t go or what she can and can’t do, threatens her constantly even with physical violence, and the list goes on. I kid you not. He even has this set out as a contract (which by the way is repeated at least 5 times in the fucking book). Here’s another example of how romantic this mother fucker is:
“I like the control it gives me, Anastasia. I want you to behave in a particular way, and if you don’t, I shall punish you, and you will learn to behave the way I desire.”
See? Romantic as freaking Mel Gibson. And by the way, the women who find this guy romantic need some serious therapy. Seriously. Harsh I know, but finding this guy romantic is like like excusing the actions of a child-molester because he has nice hair. This is not romantic. This is ABUSIVE and WRONG on sooooo many levels.
I don’t know why they decided to plant this book in the general romance section. This is not romantic. And don’t give me the ‘IT’S MEANT TO BE BDSM, SO IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE ALL DOM VS SUB’. This goes way beyond the good ol’ BDSM theme and just ends up treading into abusive territory. Christian takes these aspects into the relationship where he ends up not only controlling a woman sexually, but also emotionally, and deliberately moulding her into not just a sex partner, but an ideal of what he wants her to be and leaves her no room for her individuality and instead brands it as ‘punishable’. That’s not part of the BDSM jig. I’m sorry, but it’s not. Why people even call this romantic is beyond me. I already mentioned the abusive aspects of this so called relationship, but other than that it was a relationship built on air. Since neither of the characters had any personality outside their sex drives, they had nothing that they saw in each other. They couldn’t relate to each other, they didn’t share any common interests, they didn’t do any good for each other, outside the sexy stuff. And at the end they want to pass it off as though the two are actually in love? Give me a break. Watching people get swooped at by magpies is more romantic that this garbage.
The plot? There was no plot. Seriously, I could not find it. ANYWHERE. I searched and searched but alas, my search has left me unrewarded. Let me explain in a quick paragraph how this book goes:
‘Girl meets some guy. Some guy is hot. Girl thinks some guy is hot. Hot some-guy shows up where girl who thinks some-guy is hot works. Hot some-guy asks out girl, takes her virginity. Stuff happens. Hot some-guy introduces girl (who thinks he’s hot, by the way) to his BDSM sex dungeon, and the next half of the book is spent pondering whether or not girl (who thinks some-guy is hot, in case it wasn’t mentioned enough in the book) wants to indulge in hot some-guy’s fantasies. Also the hot some-guy takes complete control over girl (did I mention she thinks he’s hot?) who seems to be totally okay with it. More stuff happens. Girl gets spanked too hard, breaks up with hot some-guy. The end.’
That’s it. That’s the whole book. And the whole ‘Ohhh Christian has secrets’ bullcrap in the blurb? Bullcrap. His secrets are mentioned in only 5% of the book and drive the plot nowhere. The book is only about how some asshole wants to control some stupid girl. The other characters are barely relevant. They were just more props whose only role was to be interested in the ‘relationship’ between Ana and Christian. They didn’t seem to be interested in anything else. They could be buttering toast and thinking ‘I wonder how hard Christian is fucking Ana right now.’
An absolute waste. The media might be promoting this tripe as the new hero of literature, but this is and always will be just another wart on the ass of literature, along with Twilight and all its’ descendants. You know what they say, you can polish a turd, but it will still be a turd.
TICK….TICK….TICK….TICK…TICK…TICK...
TICK….TICK….TICK….TICK…TICK…TICK…TOCK..TICK..TOCK.TICK.TOCK.TICK.TOCK.
NOPE…WROOOOOONG.
I’m not about to write about our $16,000,000,000,000 debt, of which the largest holder is…wait for it…yep…the Federal Reserve. (Yeah, yeah, if it sounds and looks like a circular reference it probably is one. But nobody cares.)
Nope, not QE to the nth power either.
I’m writing about FLEXON VALE: A WHIMSICAL TOUR OF MODERN AMERICA, which is currently #10 in Men’s Adventures on the Free Store at Amazon.com. Problem is it’s only gonna be free for a few more hours…at midnight the music stops folks.
1990s style-college parties
1990s style-entertainment
1990s style-investing
The future.
IT’S ALL THERE.
AND THEN SOME.
So, if you think you’d enjoy reading about economics, finance, the 1990s, and the scandal of the future, with a touch of chaos, click that grenade to reach the FREE DOWNLOAD!!!!
