Harper Bliss's Blog, page 11

NEW RELEASE: The Power of Love: An Age-Gap Box Set

The Power of Love is a lesbian age-gap romance box set bundling three of my novels:
– Next in Line for Love
– A Swing at Love (co-written with my Mrs!)
– Seasons of Love

And you can get them for 50% OFF the regular, standalone price!

Grab your age-gap binge-read here:
➞  Direct from me (TIP: get an extra 15% OFF by using the code DIRECTBLISS at check out!)
➞ Amazon US
➞ Amazon UK
➞ Amazon CA
➞ Amazon AU
➞ Amazon DE
➞ Other Amazon Stores
➞ Apple Books
➞ Kobo
➞ Barnes & Noble
➞ Google Play

THIS BOX SET INCLUDES THREE NOVELS FOR 50% OFF!

Three best-selling novels from the queen of lesbian age-gap romance! (That’s moi!)

If you believe that age is just a number, this box set is the perfect binge-read for you.

This digital three-book bundle includes Next in Line For Love, A Swing at Love and Seasons of Love. All books have been Lesbian Romance best sellers and have garnered countless 5-star reviews.

Whether you like your age-gap romance extra sultry or prefer it clean and sweet, this box set has got you covered.

Here’s what you will find inside:

Next in Line For Love – Can the road to the top take you on a path to love?

After a decade abroad, Ali returns home to Los Angeles to take over her family’s brewing business. But longtime COO Jill is in no mood to mentor Ali, who she sees as privileged and inexperienced. As they’re forced to work together, could they both find love in the last place they expected?

A Swing at Love – On the fairway of life, love comes when you least expect it.
(Co-written with my Mrs!)

Meeting at the golf club, fiftysomething divorcée Diane hasn’t had much luck with suitors, while Tamsin is reeling from a breakup with a younger woman. When their attraction takes them by surprise, will they have the courage to take a swing at love?

Seasons of Love – A successful solicitor, her business partner’s daughter, and their unexpected chance at love

In this passionate romance, Alice’s vacation heats up when she meets Joy, her law partner’s attractive daughter. But can her summer fling with a younger woman turn into a love that lasts? A steamy May-December romance!

Get swept away by the page-turning power of age-gap love!

Word count: 176.000 words (3 novels)

– These are NOT new books.
– Even if you’ve already read one of the books in this bundle, it’s still cheaper than buying the other two separately (especially if you buy direct from me and use the discount code DIRECTBLISS at check out!) (FYI, this discount code is valid all the time for all my books in my web shop.)

Enjoy!

The post NEW RELEASE: The Power of Love: An Age-Gap Box Set appeared first on Harper Bliss.

The Rain – Read by Abby Craden

Abby Craden finished recording That Woman Next Door so the audio will be available soon(-ish).

Here’s the most delicious snippet of Abby Craden reading Olivia’s poem, “The Rain”.

Enjoy!

https://www.harperbliss.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/TheRain.mp3

The post The Rain – Read by Abby Craden appeared first on Harper Bliss.

NEW RELEASE: That Woman Next Door

That Woman Next Door is now available on all retailers:

➞ Direct from Author
➞ Amazon US
➞ Amazon UK
➞ Amazon CA
➞ Amazon AU
➞ Amazon DE
➞ Other Amazon Stores
➞ Apple Books
➞ Kobo
➞ Barnes & Noble
➞ Google Play

 

Available as paperback from
➞ Amazon US
➞ Amazon UK
➞ Barnes & Noble

Available as hardcover from
➞ Amazon US
➞ Amazon UK

The audio (read by Abby Craden) will follow later this year.

★★★★★ “Light romance is fun, but a soulful lesbian romance is a rare delight.”

Here’s the blurb:

Sometimes what you’re running from is exactly what you need

Olivia Chevalier is perfectly happy living a quiet life of solitude with her two cats in the tempestuous countryside of Brittany.

Olivia’s peace is disrupted when heartbreaker extraordinaire Marie Dievart moves in to the holiday home next door after an event at work makes her flee her everyday life.

Olivia hates having a neighbour and Marie is put off by Olivia’s cranky ways.

But maybe these two women have more in common than they first believe.

Best-selling lesbian romance author Harper Bliss brings you a slow-burn opposites-attract story about the power of connection and opening yourself up to the possibility of love.

Don’t miss That Woman Next Door if you like any or all of these things:
– The slowest of slow burns
– Match-maker cats
– Complex characters doing All The Processing
– The most delicious case of opposites attract

And, of course, the return of the infamous Marie Dievart…

Don’t go expecting French Kissing-like drama, though. Olivia is not into that At All!

NOTE: Even though Marie Dievart is a French Kissing character, this book is standalone. Absolutely no prior knowledge is required.

I am super happy I managed to finish this book AND I’m extremely pleased with it. It’s also very special to me, for many reasons.

It’s chock-full of angst and lesbian processing and women being so bloody difficult… but there are also cats and jokes and banter and the craziest case of chemistry between two characters you might have encountered in a while…

Here’s how my editor put it in her notes:

“One of the things I really liked about it was its emotional slow-burn. Not a physical one, no no, but the emotion built so slowly. It’s like a piece of classical music that takes its sweet time and a couple of movements, but eventually builds to a stunning crescendo.”

I’m so happy with this book and I can only hope you feel the same way!

★★★★★ “A fabulous story of two very complex women that I adored.”

★★★★★ “Gloriously bittersweet and poignant.”

★★★★★ “Thoughtful without being heavy.”

★★★★★ “Each of Harper’s new releases becomes my favourite and this is no exception — it really is that good!”

That Woman Next Door is now available on all retailers:
➞ Direct from Author
➞ Amazon US
➞ Amazon UK
➞ Amazon CA
➞ Amazon AU
➞ Amazon DE
➞ Other Amazon Stores
➞ Apple Books
➞ Kobo
➞ Barnes & Noble
➞ Google Play

Enjoy! 

The post NEW RELEASE: That Woman Next Door appeared first on Harper Bliss.

PREVIEW: That Woman Next Door

That Woman Next Door will be out on 23 September 2021.

You can pre-order the ebook here >>

Here’s a preview. Enjoy!

That Woman Next Door
© Harper Bliss

CHAPTER ONE
MARIE

I kill the engine and stare at the house. It looks so desolate in the middle of winter. Maybe depressing is a better way to describe it. After all, there’s a reason we call it a summer house. Why couldn’t my family have bought a place in Provence, I wonder for the umpteenth time since I started the drive down from Brussels this morning. Along grey road after grey road, with no prospect of any new growth, for months to come. But I didn’t come here for fun. I came to cold, wet, rural Brittany on the first day of the new year with the single purpose of punishing myself. Of looking inside myself to find out if I still have it in me to continue doing what I do after what happened.

I suck in a deep breath and get out of the car. As I lift my suitcase out of the boot, a gust of wind whips up my hair, which I had cut a few days ago to look my best for my self-inflicted exile. To what end? There’s no one here to see me. My mother warned me the internet might be too spotty for a successful Skype connection, after she asked me, again, whether I, a purebred city person, was absolutely certain I wanted to sequester myself in Brittany.

I could have escaped to an exotic beach. Or ventured on a coast-to-coast road trip through the United States. Or embarked on a Scottish castle tour. But I chose wintery Brittany because, for the first time in my life, I’m not choosing excitement. I have to say no to anything thrilling. I have to create the time and space I need to evaluate what has occurred. I need to find out how it could have happened and if it will again.

I know myself. Put me anywhere amongst a group of people and I will pick out the most attractive woman and have her in my bed in no time. Or maybe I’ve lost that skill as well.

It doesn’t matter here. There are no people around. Our house is the only one on this road, although, through the barren trees, I can spot another house around the corner, about a hundred metres away. Distant enough to not have to see or hear the people living there, if anyone lives there at all at this time of year.

I unlock the door and am greeted by a cold blast almost as harsh as the temperature outside. I quickly close the door behind me. At least it looks the way I like—renovated to today’s standards, at my insistence.

I think of my warm, gorgeous apartment overlooking the Ixelles Ponds in Brussels. The light that streams in through the large windows even in winter. I shiver. Up until a few years ago, this house’s only means of heating was a fireplace, which may sound romantic, but is anything but when you run out of logs in the middle of the night. Or when you wake up in the morning and your buttocks nearly freeze to the toilet seat.

But I couldn’t do the kind of penance I’m after in Brussels, surrounded by the luxury of my daily life and the convenience of a city. Something had to be stripped away. Something major had to give. The house in Brittany was the first place that came to mind and here I am, trembling inside my coat, on the dreariest winter day. For some reason, I felt like I needed to arrive on the first day of the new year. As though it matters. As though I have to start an actual prison sentence mandated by the courts instead of this self-inflicted punishment I have chosen.

I switch on the thermostat but keep my coat on. It will take a while before it’s warm enough for me to relax. I transfer the rest of my stuff from the car into the house and unload the groceries I brought. I’ll have oceans of time to dedicate to cooking because there are no food delivery services to the middle of nowhere.

After I’ve dragged my suitcase upstairs and unpacked most of my clothes, I stand in front of the bedroom window. When there are no leaves on the trees, the house around the corner is visible from here. Because I’m already starting to feel like the only person left on the planet, even though I’ve only just arrived, I desperately search for a sign of life inside the house. I don’t see any lights glowing behind the windows, but there’s smoke coming from the chimney. Even though I’ve been coming to Brittany on and off for decades, I have no idea who lives in that house.

I’ve always considered my family’s holiday home a house without neighbours. In summer, it kind of is. When the days are long and the nights warm, and you can sit outside in the lush garden until well after dark, neighbours are of no importance. And I’ve never come here on my own. It’s always been with either family or a short-term love interest—the longer-term kind has never interested me until…

I take a moment to remember the last woman I was with. It was the night before the day everything went wrong. I shake off the memory of Véronique—again—although I know I will have to deal with it at some point. After the investigation into what happened in the operating theatre cleared me, the hospital administrator advised me to see someone to help me process the incident. I chose to take a leave of absence instead. I don’t want anyone’s help. I want to solve this crisis of conscience—and confidence—that’s waging a filthy war inside me by myself. It didn’t feel fair to accept any kind of assistance because for the woman who died on my operating table, there is no more help. For her, it’s all over forever. So why should I deserve any kind of help in dealing with what I did?

The lights in the cottage beyond the trees flickers on. For an instant, I consider switching the bedroom lamp on and off to signal my presence. Instead, I think I might take a walk over there tomorrow.

 

CHAPTER TWO
OLIVIA

My feet hit the treadmill in such a satisfying way today. This is why I run, I think, while my fists pump the air in a rhythmic motion. To feel like I’m flying. To feel strong. To feel like I can do anything. I increase the speed so I can go a little faster, so I can empty my tank. Even though I’ve already run more than seven kilometres, my feet can still easily keep up.

My treadmill sits in front of a window with a view out over the fields at the back of my house. I only ever see animals. Mostly birds and cows. Or my cats, who like to wait for me to open the door for them instead of squeezing through the cat flap—they’re princesses like that.

What the—? Something much larger than Deneuve and Huppert’s furry bodies darkens the window. My already elevated heart rate shoots up a notch. What the hell is happening? I press the red emergency button on the treadmill to make it stop. Who on earth is this person with the audacity to trespass on my property and walk around my house? I’m not expecting any deliveries today. I prefer to group them as much as I can and have them delivered to the supermarket in town, where I can pick them up at my own convenience instead of having my day disturbed by someone showing up at my door.

A woman wrapped in one of those long puffy coats stares at me through the window. She waves as though I’m supposed to know her. I don’t recognise her from the village and I’m certain I’m not related to her—not that any member of my family would show up at my house in the middle of any given Wednesday afternoon.

I wipe the sweat from my forehead. I feel cornered. My first instinct is to leave the room and hide upstairs. She doesn’t look like she’s in distress, although I guess her car could have broken down, her mobile phone might have died, and my house might have been the first one she came across. Maybe she does need help. I take a deep, shuddering breath to pull myself together.

The woman tilts her head. She’s probably wondering why I haven’t opened the door yet. I suppose I no longer have a choice—as if I ever had one. I drape a towel over my shoulders because I’m dripping with sweat. That’s an excellent run ruined. I’m supposed to be in the delightful throes of runner’s high right about now, but thanks to this intruder, I’ve been robbed of the highlight of my day.

I open the door and greet her with an unwelcoming glare. I’m not the type to give strangers a hearty welcome. A fact that’s been held against me many times, yet I haven’t changed.

“Bonjour,” she says. “I’m so sorry to interrupt your run.” She hardly comes across as very apologetic. She looks Parisian with her expensive haircut and cashmere pashmina, but her accent is different. “I arrived at the house around the corner yesterday and I noticed signs of life here.”

“Yes?” This is not making any sense to me at all. The only other house in a five-kilometre radius is a holiday home owned by some rich Belgians who visit a few times over the summer. I’ve never had any dealings with them and none of them have previously bothered me before.

“I just wanted to introduce myself.” The woman extends her hand. “Marie Dievart. Enchantée.”

“Hello.” I give her hand the quickest shake I can. My palms are still sweaty. My body is cooling off too quickly standing in the door like this. None of this is ideal. Least of all this woman who wants something from me that I’m unable to figure out. “Olivia.” As I wipe my sweaty hand on my leggings, a visible shiver runs up my spine. I pull the towel around my shoulders ostentatiously.

“You’ll catch a cold if you don’t cover up,” Marie Dievart says matter-of-factly.

Duh! All I want is to close the door in her face. Wait? Is she expecting me to invite her inside my house?

“Don’t worry. I’m a doctor,” she says, as if that makes any difference.

“Look, I’m sorry, but I need to shower.”

“Oh, okay.” She studies me with an unnerving intensity. “Would you like to come round to my house later for coffee or a glass of wine?”

“What?” Why would she even think that’s what I want? “Who are you again and what are you doing here?”

“I’m so sorry, Olivia.” She has a very personable manner. She looks like she wants to grab my hand again but has decided against it last-minute—thank goodness. “I’ll be staying at my family’s holiday home for a few months, so I figured that would make us neighbours. I thought it only polite to introduce myself formally.”

“A few months? In the middle of winter?” I shiver again. My sweat-drenched top is ice cold against my skin.

Marie nods. “I need the time away from… my life,” she says.

“Okay, well, have a good stay.” I attempt to close the door hoping she’ll get the hint.

“You don’t want to have that glass of wine? I have an amazing Nuits-Saint-Georges waiting to be uncorked.”

A wine snob on top of an abrasive trespasser. I shake my head. “No, but thanks for asking.”

I’m about to close the door on this woman entirely, but she regards me so intently, it’s as though she wants to undo my wish to shut her out just by looking at me. Her eyes are a peculiar kind of green. Her cheekbones are alpine. Oh, I get it. She’s one of those women who is so attractive they’re used to always getting exactly what they want. She probably can’t fathom that I’m not interested in sharing a posh bottle of wine with her.

“I’d hate to have to drink it alone.” Her voice is sweet as honey.

“Shouldn’t have come here on your own then.” I feel something furry rub against my legs. Huppert slips outside and then just sits there, attracting attention—her favourite activity apart from sleeping.

“What a cutie.” Marie crouches down to make Huppert’s acquaintance.

If only Deneuve had decided to come to my rescue. She wouldn’t have any of this. She probably would have swatted Marie Dievart’s perfectly manicured hand away if she’d tried to pet her. But not Huppert, who can’t get enough of the attention. She’s purring, for heaven’s sake. “What’s your name then?” the woman asks my cat, as though she can reply to that question with anything other than a meow.

I need to cut this short. If I stay exposed much longer, I’ll be out with a cold for days, or even worse, bronchitis. Heaven forbid I need to see a doctor. I wouldn’t want to have to call on my new neighbour, while she was the one who made me sick in the first place. That would be too ironic.

“I’ll leave you to it then,” I say, trying to add a polite smile. I can’t help but, very briefly, wonder what I look like to this stranger, with my sweat-drenched clothes and my hair matted against my head. She must be very lonely to be inviting the likes of me to her place.

“Okay. Sure.” She looks like she’s about to admit defeat. She turns to walk away, but before I can close the door properly, she turns to me, and asks, “Is this how everyone here is? Is it a Breton thing, this unwelcoming attitude? Just so I know what to expect for the rest of my stay.”

“You’re asking the wrong person.” As I say it, I’m aware of how utterly rude I’m sounding—and being.

“Clearly.” She does walk away now.

I guess that, once again, I failed to make a new friend. I couldn’t care less.

<>

That Woman Next Door will be available on Thursday 23 September 2021 from all retailers. (The audio, narrated by Abby Craden, will follow later this year.)

 

The post PREVIEW: That Woman Next Door appeared first on Harper Bliss.

Two New Audio Releases

Both At Your Most Beautiful and About That Kiss are out on audio this week!

I do hope a Craden Climax and a Dawe-gasm are not too much for you in quick succession like that.

Here’s a reminder of what About That Kiss is all about:

What if the greatest role of your life is playing your true self?

Ida Burton used to be Hollywood’s sweetheart until the best roles started drying up in her forties.

When Ida lands one of the leads in a big-budget lesbian rom-com, it’s not only a chance at reviving her dwindling career. Maybe this movie can be an opportunity to finally burst out of the closet she’s forced herself into.

Faye Fleming has been at the top of her acting game and collecting awards for the past few years. When she’s cast in a huge blockbuster opposite the legendary Ida Burton, she’s over the moon.

Ida and Faye hit it off. The chemistry on set is through the roof… until their characters’ first kiss.

Grab your copy of the feel-good lesbian read of the summer now!
—
As usual, Abby Craden is amazing and her voice is simply made to bring Ida and Faye to life. It all sounds magnificently glam and sexy and irresistible to me.

Available as audiobook (read by Abby Craden) from
– Direct from me
– Amazon US
– Amazon UK
– Audible US
– Audible UK
– Apple
– Google Play
– Kobo
– Chirp
– Scribd

And here’s what At Your Most Beautiful is about:

Some nights are unforgettable…

Ten years ago, Quinn Hathaway and Maya Mercer shared a night of forbidden passion they vowed to keep secret forever.

When Quinn and Maya meet again, old sparks fly, but none of the reasons to hide their passion have changed.

Quinn is still much younger and Maya has never told her son that she’s attracted to women.

Can Maya overcome her fear of what her family might think of her?

And how will Quinn’s parents, who used to be Maya’s next-door neighbors, react to their daughter’s unconventional love affair?

Best-selling lesbian romance author Harper Bliss brings you a second-chance age-gap story about not being afraid of living life on your own terms.
—
Sultry age-gap romance + Angela Dawe = a match made in heaven!

Available as audiobook (read by Angela Dawe) from
– Amazon US
– Amazon UK
– Audible US
– Audible UK
– Apple Books
– Kobo
– Scribd
– Google Play

Who could have known when I started my crazy lesfic journey ten years ago that the fabulous likes of Abby Craden and Angela Dawe would be narrating my books? (Surely not this lesbian.)

Happy listening!

The post Two New Audio Releases appeared first on Harper Bliss.

Cover & Blurb Reveal: That Woman Next Door

Here are the cover and blurb for That Woman Next Door:

Sometimes what you’re running from is exactly what you need

Olivia Chevalier is perfectly happy living a quiet life of solitude with her two cats in the tempestuous countryside of Brittany.

Olivia’s peace is disrupted when heartbreaker extraordinaire Marie Dievart moves in to the holiday home next door after an event at work makes her flee her everyday life.

Olivia hates having a neighbour and Marie is put off by Olivia’s cranky ways.

But maybe these two women have more in common than they first believe.

Best-selling lesbian romance author Harper Bliss brings you a slow-burn opposites-attract story about the power of connection and opening yourself up to the possibility of love.

Out in ebook, paperback and hardcover on 23 September 2021.

The audio (narrated by Abby Craden) will follow later this year.

You can pre-order (and make sure the book arrives on your device the moment it’s published!) That Woman Next Door now:
– Direct from me
– Amazon US
– Amazon UK
– Amazon CA
– Amazon AU
– Amazon DE
– Other Amazon Stores
– Apple Books
– Kobo

The post Cover & Blurb Reveal: That Woman Next Door appeared first on Harper Bliss.

ON SALE: Two Hearts Trilogy

The Two Hearts Trilogy is discounted for the first time ever (and for a limited time!)⁠
⁠
Here’s the blurb:⁠

A small-town lesbian romance about accepting who you truly are

In the small town of Donovan Grove, Anna Gunn’s life is organized just the way she likes it: work from home, walks with her dog, Friday night drinks at the bar.

But Anna’s strict routine is challenged when the local bookstore is taken over by city slicker, Zoe Perez.

Will Anna let Zoe into her life, despite the major disruption she will have to tolerate?

And can Zoe look past Anna’s eccentricity and embrace her unconventional behavior?

Find out in this slow-burn lesbian romance that will touch you deeply.

It’s available from:
– Direct from me
– Amazon US
– Amazon UK
– Amazon CA
– Amazon AU
– Amazon DE
– Other Amazon Stores
– Kobo
– Apple
– Google Play
– Barnes & Noble

Here’s your chance to snap it up for $0.99 instead of the regular price of $9.99! Please note that this sale ends soon.

Additional reasons to snap up this great deal now:
– This is my most personal book ever (so far…)
– This book has never been discounted before
– It includes an exclusive preview of my next book, That Woman Next Door!
– I’m considering doing a Facebook Group Readalong of Two Hearts soon-ish!

Enjoy! ⁠

The post ON SALE: Two Hearts Trilogy appeared first on Harper Bliss.

Fantasy Casting ‘About That Kiss’

Here’s my ultra-A-list fantasy casting for Ida and Faye in About That Kiss.

This book was born from nothing else but putting these two together in my head and everything just flowed from there. Needless to say, I had the time of my life writing this.

Sandra Bullock as Faye Fleming

Julia Roberts as Ida Burton

The post Fantasy Casting ‘About That Kiss’ appeared first on Harper Bliss.

NEW RELEASE: About That Kiss

About That Kiss is now available on all retailers:

➞ Direct from me
➞ Amazon US
➞ Amazon UK
➞ Amazon CA
➞ Amazon AU
➞ Amazon DE
➞ Other Amazon Stores
➞ Apple Books
➞ Kobo
➞ Barnes & Noble
➞ Google Play

 

Available as paperback from
➞ Amazon US
➞ Amazon UK

★★★★★ “Wow, what a story!” – Amazon Reviewer

Here’s the blurb:

What if the greatest role of your life is playing your true self?

Ida Burton used to be Hollywood’s sweetheart until the best roles started drying up in her forties.

When Ida lands one of the leads in a big-budget lesbian rom-com, it’s not only a chance at reviving her dwindling career. Maybe this movie can be an opportunity to finally burst out of the closet she’s forced herself into.

Faye Fleming has been at the top of her acting game and collecting awards for the past few years. When she’s cast in a huge blockbuster opposite the legendary Ida Burton, she’s over the moon.

Ida and Faye hit it off. The chemistry on set is through the roof… until their characters’ first kiss.

Grab your copy of the feel-good lesbian read of the summer now!

Don’t miss About That Kiss if you like any or all of these things:
 Super-glamorous lady-loving celebrities
 A never-ending first kiss (hence the title!)
 Off-the-charts chemistry
 A feel-good story that will make you smile for days

The first draft of this book sprouted from my fingers during an at-home writing retreat I experimented with in May and it was just So Much Fun. I had a massive party going on in my head every single day and it was utterly glorious.

The result is a glamorous feel-good celebrity romance chock-full of chemistry and kisses (hence the title).

While high on drama, this book is fairly low on angst. It’s not an age-gap romance, nor is it one of those books in which I’m trying to expel some of my own personal demons. It’s just a fun, breezy read (and did I mention all the kissing?) 

I’m rarely this pleased with a book and I can only hope you feel the same way!

Do let me know what you think.

★★★★★ “Harper Bliss builds a story like no other. Layer upon layer gets added, the emotions build, until we have this exquisite story that leads you to such a beautiful place with a smile on your face…”

★★★★★ “A gorgeous feel-good story full of warmth, community, and star quality.”

★★★★★ “Fun and flirty! The only thing better than the banter between the MCs are the steamy love scenes.”

★★★★★ “I read it in less than a day, it was that good.”

About That Kiss is now available on all retailers:
➞ Direct from me
➞ Amazon US
➞ Amazon UK
➞ Amazon CA
➞ Amazon AU
➞ Amazon DE
➞ Other Amazon Stores
➞ Apple Books
➞ Kobo
➞ Barnes & Noble
➞ Google Play

Enjoy! 

P.S. I’ll reveal the massive AAA-list fantasy casting I indulged in for Ida & Faye soon!

The post NEW RELEASE: About That Kiss appeared first on Harper Bliss.

PREVIEW: About That Kiss

About That Kiss will be out on 27 July 2021.

Here’s a preview. Enjoy!

About That Kiss
© Harper Bliss

CHAPTER ONE
FAYE

“Tell me again why I’m doing this, darling?” I ask Brandon.

He flicks his long hair behind his shoulder and looks me straight in the eye. “You’re doing it for me, Faye.”

Why this man isn’t an A-list actor yet, I have no idea. He delivers the line with the authenticity of the best in the business.

“That’s right. It’s all for you.” I paint on a smile, which flees my face as the car comes to an abrupt halt.

Brandon waves it off with a flick of his wrist. “Los Angeles traffic.”

My phone buzzes in my pocket. It must be Leslie. She promised she’d call me on the way to the table read. I wonder which of her two top clients she called first—me or Ida Burton?

“Hi, Faye, you’re going to kill it in the read-through. I know it.”

“Thanks, Leslie.”

“I just got off the phone with Ida.” That answers my question then. “She’s looking forward to it a lot.”

“Is she?” Even if she wasn’t, she wouldn’t have told the agent we share. She’s probably as nervous as I am. Three Best Actor Oscars on my mantel don’t make any difference to my trepidation on the way to the very first table read, especially for a movie like this one. It doesn’t help that my co-star, Ida Burton, has four golden statuettes to her name.

“Of course, she is. Everyone’s excited about this. The whole of Hollywood is buzzing.”

“Christ, Leslie. What did you have for breakfast this morning?”

“My usual three espressos,” she says with a level tone.

“Okay.” I could barely stomach the nut-and-berry mix Brandon prepares for me every morning. “Good to know.”

“Call me if you need anything,” Leslie says. “I’m always here for you.”

Because there isn’t that much else to say, we end the conversation. I glance at Brandon for comfort. He isn’t just my personal assistant, but also one of the most entertaining people I know, which says a lot when you work in Hollywood. He’s very good at giving pep talks when I need them, but he also, instinctively, knows when it’s best to shut up.

He leans toward me and puts his hand on my knee. “Playing gay is all the rage these days. And the script is hilarious. For once, it’s not one of those bleak movies where the lesbians stomp through their lives looking like they’re never getting any.” He sends me a smile. “Hollywood has finally realized that lesbians can have a sense of humor too.” He follows up with a chuckle.

“It’s not playing a lesbian that’s got me so wound up. It’s playing one opposite Ida Burton.” In the first half of the movie, my character, Mindy, is straight as an arrow.

“Ida Burton hasn’t been in a hit movie in over a decade. If anything, she should be worried about starring in a movie with you.” He shrugs. “She’s practically B-list now.” He brings a hand in front of his mouth, as though suddenly realizing his utter sacrilege.

“We both know Ida Burton will never come close to being B-list, no matter how little her movies gross.”

“You never know,” Brandon says. “This town can be cruel.”

The car comes to a complete stop. We’ve arrived at the hotel where the A New Day table read is taking place. The driver opens the door for us. I take a deep breath and get out. A member of the production staff is waiting for me. I follow her inside, Brandon hot on my heels.

The first person I recognize is Charlie, who’s basically to blame for all of this. Not only did she co-write the script, but me being her wife’s maid of honor at their wedding last year would have made me look like a stone-cold hypocrite if I’d refused to take this part because it’s a lesbian movie.

Charlie’s basically jumping out of her skin with excitement. She hugs me tightly and the nervous tension shimmers in her muscles.

“You look like a million bucks, Faye,” she says.

Before I can thank her, the energy in the room changes. That can only mean one thing. The great Ida Burton has arrived. I turn around and am met with her famously blinding smile. Even I, not exactly a B-lister myself, am momentarily dazed by it. What is it with this woman and her smile?

Admittedly, in one of my lesser moments, I once tried to emulate it in front of the mirror, but a smile of such radiance and assurance is not something that can be taught, nor practiced. Ida Burton was born with it and she’s made a damn good career out of it. Add to that a luxurious mass of copper-colored curly hair, brown Bambi eyes, and a voice to melt the sturdiest of glaciers, and you have the marvelous Ida Burton. It’s hard not to feel as though I’m standing in her shadow.

After saying a few quick hellos, she walks straight toward me.

“Faye. Hiiii!” Ida sounds as though seeing me is the highlight of her year.

“Ida.” We exchange two featherlight cheek kisses. “I’ve been looking forward to this.” It’s not a lie. I have. Maybe not the feeling of having to play second fiddle to Ida, but working on this hot-as-hell movie.

“So have I.” She flashes me that smile again. How can her skin look so impossibly smooth? We’re about the same age, but Ida makes me feel like I’m at least ten years her senior.

“Ladies.” Tamara, the director, has joined us. “It’s so good to see you again. I’m raring to go. You have no idea.” She points at two chairs next to each other. “Those are your seats. We’ll start in fifteen minutes. Refreshments are over there.” She nods in the direction of the buffet. “I’m here if you have any questions.” She takes a step back. “I’ll let you acclimatize first.”

Behind me, Brandon is whispering with Ida’s assistant, Mark, whom he has told me all about because they had a thing once. Brandon likes to keep me apprised of his love life. Maybe he thinks it somehow makes up for the lack of romance I have in my own life.

For the past twenty years, I’ve always been the biggest star in the room at a table read, and it has fallen upon me to put my co-stars at ease. Today, I’m not sure this task is up to me.

“I’m a little nervous.” Ida surprises me. “I think this could be a great movie, but… well, I’ve seen things go horribly wrong before, no matter how promising the screenplay.”

She’s wearing a beige top that accentuates the fiery color of her hair. Even though she’s dressed quite casually in slacks and said top, a glow seems to emanate from her. An effortless star quality. 

“This seems like the kind of project the studio would want to keep a tight grip on.”

“We can only do what’s required of us,” Ida says.

“Play gay,” I lamely joke.

Ida shuffles her weight around. “Correct.” She pins her gaze on me. “I was really thrilled to hear you were on board. Even though it really shouldn’t be, it’s still a risk to play a part like this. Especially for someone like you.”

“Not just me.” I emit a nervous chuckle. “For you as well, no doubt.”

“For both of us then,” she confirms and quirks up the corner of her mouth. “We should have dinner. Discuss our characters and their emotional arcs.”

“Uh, yeah. Sure. We should.”

“I’ll have my guy call your guy.” She eyes our PAs. “I assume you know they have history?”

I nod. “In the greatest detail.” My smile, though wide and generous, feels lacking compared to hers.

“Oh, God. Does he tell you everything as well? Mark does too. The latest is that he’s ready to settle down. Maybe he and his new man will start a family and he won’t have time to be my assistant anymore.”

The things we worry about, I think, although I recognize her attachment to her assistant. I’ve worked with Brandon for almost ten years, which is a lifetime in assistant years. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if he left, even though I would be the first to urge him to try for greater things than being at my beck and call.

“His life—” I say.

“I really—” she starts at the same time.

“You go first.” Despite all the glamour that surrounds her, Ida is refreshingly down-to-earth.

“I really enjoyed your performance in Day Break,” she says. “I see another Oscar in your future.”

I wave her off because that’s what you’re meant to do, even though ever since that movie premiered, all I’ve heard is chatter about winning an Oscar for it. If I could get an actual man called Oscar for it, that would be a million times better than another statue in my living room. A statue doesn’t give me affection, nor does it reply when I address it.

“What was it like working with Silke Meisner?”

“Amazing.” That’s Hollywood-speak for grueling but just rewarding enough in the end. I’m sure Ida has been through the same and if there’s one person in this room who will catch my drift, it’s her.

She nods thoughtfully. “Tell me all about it when you come to dinner.”

“Sure.”

She cocks her head. “Things are going to get quite intimate between us on set.” Her voice does a funny thing.

“Just a bit of mild kissing.” I try to sound casual. Apart from a girl I pecked on the lips decades ago, I have zero experience kissing women, although I can’t imagine it being much different from kissing a male co-star. But the first woman I’m ever going to kiss properly, albeit for the sake of make-believe, is Ida Burton.

She erupts into a chuckle. “Good to know you’re cool with that.”

“I wouldn’t be doing this movie if I weren’t.” And I would be a flaming homophobe, my friend Ava told me in no uncertain terms.

“Ladies,” the director approaches us again. “Ready when you are.”

 

CHAPTER TWO
IDA

Does anyone notice how I’m dying on the inside? How I’m regretting taking this part? How my dubious ulterior motive is already catching up with me big time?

Faye Fleming sits beside me in all her girl-next-door glory, although she’s hardly a girl anymore. Still, as she has aged, she’s managed to maintain the image of the all-American, wholesome, funny-but-serious-when-needed girl/woman. I guess of all the people gathered here, she and I might become the closest. How long will it take her to figure out my secret?

“Ida,” Tamara says, “would you like to give us your thoughts on your character? Or do you want to launch straight into the read?”

Ah, my character. An out-and-proud lesbian. If only I could express my true feelings about Veronica to the room.

“Sure.” I’ve prepared for this. I know exactly what to say so as not to cast any suspicion on myself. “I see Veronica as a successful but, ultimately, lonely woman who is starved of love.” At times, while I was reading the script, I wondered if the writers had been able to glimpse right into the center of my own lonesome heart. “Her brother’s fourth wedding sparks this unbridled rage in her, as though all the love in her family, and the world even, is reserved for him, just because he’s straight.” I pause. “She’s so consumed by anger and jealousy that she doesn’t even notice that her own chance at love is staring her right in the face. She needs to get over that, and some other things, of course. Crack a few jokes along the way.” I insert a chuckle. My inadequate synopsis does not do justice to the script, which is, apart from being a lesbian romantic comedy, also a sharply funny critique on the institution of marriage.

“Charlie? Liz?” Tamara says. “Does that sound about right to you?”

“Perfect,” a blond woman with huge round eyes says. The one sitting next to her, who was all over the news five years ago when she started an affair with Ava Castaneda, nods and sends me a nervous smile. I should be the one smiling timidly at her. For all my money, she has something I’ve never been able to afford.

“Great,” Tamara says. “We’ll come back to this later, if needed. Faye, shall we move on to your character?”

“My character doesn’t have a clue,” Faye says, eliciting her first and surely not her last round of easy laughs. Why Faye is playing the more uptight character in this movie, I have no idea. That’s why it’s called acting, I suppose.

* * *

The read-through of the first act is easy enough. Faye and I play off each other with a comfort I’ve rarely experienced this quickly, as if we’ve starred together countless times before.

During the break before we run through the second act, Tamara walks up to me.

“The chemistry between you and Faye is off the charts already,” she says, “and we haven’t even gotten to the good bits yet.”

There’s a moment in the second act that I’ve been dreading. My character, Veronica, needs to look Faye’s character in the eye and realize something significant that alters the course of events. It’s not something I would usually have an issue with conveying, nor is it required that I display all of that complex emotion at a table read, but still. It all hits a little too close to home. Today, I’ll be able to muddle through, but I don’t know how I’m going to approach it at rehearsals. But that’s exactly what rehearsals are for, I comfort myself. To figure out that kind of stuff.

“Thanks.” I take the opportunity to get a good look at Tamara. No doubt she’s one of the hottest directors I’ve worked with, what with ninety percent of the ones I’ve previously collaborated with having been male. But it’s not because the bar is low that Tamara isn’t, objectively speaking, highly attractive. On top of that, just like my character, she’s out and proud like nobody’s business. These days, that can get you a top job behind the camera in Hollywood. How things have changed.

Someone calls for her and as she walks away, I make a mental note to ask Mark whether Tamara’s love life is happier than my character’s—or mine.

When I sit next to Faye again, with her long dark hair and pale complexion, her eyes as blue as the midday sky outside, I try to center myself and remember the reasons why I said yes to this project. 

There are many and I list them in my head. This movie is being touted as next summer’s big blockbuster and I haven’t been part of one of those in a long time. My name next to Faye Fleming’s should add up to more than the sum of its parts. Maybe, by playing an out character, I can finally force myself out of the closet. Maybe I won’t even have to. Maybe the buzz surrounding the movie will create some sort of magic momentum that will naturally propel me out and make it so that it has always just been plain obvious.

Fat chance of that.

I make quick work of having to look Faye in the eye—just a swift glance will have to do. Today isn’t about looks and gestures and emotions. It’s about making sure the words sound right as they come out of our mouths.

I already know Faye is an accomplished actor, but even more than that, she’s a calming presence by my side. She comes across as self-confident and easy-going and I have no way of knowing whether she’s acting or not, but in the end, it doesn’t matter. The overall vibe is that she will be easy to work with. No diva allures whatsoever. It must be the girl-next-door thing. Maybe she’s made it part of her real-life persona as well as her image. Imagine if Faye Fleming had to bust out of the closet. The thought appears to be too much for my brain.

“Sparks are flying,” Tamara says after we’ve finished. “Can’t wait for the actual shoot.”

* * *

“How was it?” Derek, my best friend and ex-husband asks when I call him on the way home.

“Good.” I sink into the leather car seat. “Although I forgot how utterly exhausting table reads are.”

“You go through the emotions of the entire movie in one day,” he says. “It’s to be expected.”

I asked Derek to read the script before I said yes to the movie.

“How was Faye Fleming?” he asks.

“Lovely, also as to be expected.” So far, I can’t say a bad word about my co-star. She was gracious and wonderful to be around all day long, even during the final exhausting hours. “I’ll have her over for dinner soon, so we can get to know each other better before we start rehearsals.”

“Before you kiss her, you mean,” my ex-husband says.

Derek is one of the only people on this planet who knows my secret. As I was once the only person who knew his.

“Very funny.”

“I’m just teasing, although you could have worse prospects.” He’s not one to let things go easily.

“The director’s quite hot, actually.” Derek’s the only person I can talk to about these things.

“Tell me more.” Although Derek and I were never in love, we have a deep fondness for one another and I know that what he wants for me more than anything else is to find true love the way he has with his boyfriend, Ben.

“I haven’t done my research yet and, well, you know…”

“I know this movie has the potential to change your life. What’s this director’s name again? I’ll do a quick search for you.”

“Tamara Williams, but no need. I’m perfectly capable of googling the details of her personal life myself.”

“But it’s more fun when I do it.” There’s a short pause, before Derek speaks again. “It says here she’s married. Sorry, sweetie.”

“Oh well, perhaps it’s for the best.”

“I see that differently, but we all need the time we need…”

We say our goodbyes and as my car glides up Mulholland, I vividly remember the statement I put out after Derek came out of the closet.

I wish Derek all the luck and love in the world. We had a wonderful marriage and we remain the best of friends. I know this new path he has chosen in life will make him very happy.

I got a lot of flak at the time for using the phrase ‘the new path he has chosen in life’, as though I meant to say that him being gay was a choice. If only it were—then I wouldn’t have had to hide in the corner of a stifling closet for the better part of my life.

What I meant was that he had chosen to end our marriage and no longer pretend he was straight. And no longer care about the repercussions on his career. The hoops I had to jump through to explain that. Yes, my choice of words was poor, and no, I did not mean all the things that the wave of social media outrage claimed I did.

Perhaps I should have taken the opportunity to come out there and then, but I didn’t. Because, unlike Derek, I do care about the effect it would have on my career—at least I used to. Seeing Derek blossom into the proud and confident man he is today with Ben by his side has made me aware of the possible error of my ways. How could it not while I’m the one who remains single in my golden cage of a Hollywood Hills mansion?

When this car drops me off, no one will be waiting for me. Mark has gone home for the day. In my absence, my house will have been scrubbed clean and my lawn will have been cut and my pool will have been cleaned, and for what? 

That’s why I’ve chosen to do this movie. That’s why I’ve chosen to play an out character, hoping that it will become one of those cases of life imitating art.

This is Hollywood and far stranger things have happened.

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About That Kiss will be available on Tuesday 27 July 2021 from all retailers. (The audio, narrated by Abby Craden, will follow later this year.)

 

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