A. Lee Martinez's Blog, page 56

Inside Novelology

Today, the gloves come off.  Today, I'm going to write about the subject of writing, and I'm going to do it with utter ruthless honesty.  I'm going to tell you, fans, aspiring writers, and otherwise curious onlookers, the secret about writing a successful novel.

Nobody really knows how to do it.

Yes, I know this is probably a shock, but it's true.  There is no magic formula, no secret technique, no binary chant to The Mighty Robot King that can guarantee the creation of a successful novel.  Novelology is an art, and like all art, it has general rules but these rules are broken all the time by successful (and unsuccessful) writers.  Anyone who tells you they KNOW how to write a bestselling novel is lying, and while that doesn't mean their advice might not be good to follow, it is still just advice.

Now, after saying this, I am going to tell you HOW to write a bestselling novel, though technically, I haven't written one myself yet.  But I do have nine books out there, and I make a living doing this.  So I must know what I'm doing, right?

Actually, no, but let's pretend anyway.

I can't really tell you how to write a bestseller, but I can tell you where to direct your energies if you want to give it your best shot.  It isn't in obsessing over Point of View, Passive Voice, or Limited Adverbs.  Worrying about these elements, so often discussed among writers, is the equivalent of a new writer's training wheels.  They're good at helping you to teach the ropes, but once you've gotten your feet under you, you can cast them aside and never think about them again.

Yes, I'm saying that once you know what you're doing, you don't have to give two damns about them.  But let's go ahead and run through these most commonly discussed points:

Point of View is the principle that a scene should be written from a single character's perspective.  It's handy for new writers because they tend to narrate from a distance.  They tend to relate what is happening as if it is a story they heard that they are now sharing with their friends.  But good narration usually puts us in the middle of the scene and allows us to experience it as if we're there.  This is why PoV is a good general rule for a new writer.  It forces you to relate to the scene, not just relate what is happening in the scene.

The problem arises when writers become chained to PoV.  A common fallacy of PoV is that it requires complete commitment.  If something is happening behind your PoV character, you aren't allowed to narrate it.  And you can't give anyone else's thoughts, only the impressions your PoV character might have.  And, my personal favorite, you can't describe your PoV's face because they can't see their face, so it breaks PoV.

Nobody outside of a writer cares about PoV.  If you describe your protagonist's smile, a reader isn't going to notice the PoV break.  And if you mention something the PoV character couldn't possibly know, it isn't going to destroy the reality.  And here's the real shocker:

Editors / Agents  don't care about PoV either.

Yeah, I wrote it.  Never let it be said I'm afraid to take a stand.

Editors / Agents care about good writing.  They care about commercial writing.  And bad writing often has bad PoV, but good writing often has bad PoV too.

Passive Voice is another bugaboo circulating through writer's critique groups, and it too makes sense to avoid.  It's usually better to say, "Steve walked across the room", rather than saying "Steve was walking across the room".  The former is quicker and more in the moment while the latter lacks energy.  The most obvious sign of Passive Voice is the Dreaded Was, and it's true that most beginning writers will have the Dreaded Was pop up more often than old pros.  But Was isn't the problem.  Was is a fine word and has its uses.

"If an editor sees 'Was' in your first page, they won't read the rest of your book."

Again, this is nonsense, as far as I can tell.  Editors / Agents aren't robots programmed with an elaborate series of protocols you must navigate.  You can't convince them you're a good writer because you avoid the Dreaded Was.  And sometimes, avoiding the Dreaded Was is more trouble than it's worth.  If your novel is frontloaded with dozens of instances of the Dreaded Was, you're probably not doing yourself any favors, but it's not because you broke some sacred rule.  It's because, odds are good, you probably are writing from a distance.  Not always true, but true enough to be aware of.

Still, if an Editor / Agent reads your entire novel in one fevered sitting, they probably aren't going to turn you away because you used the Dreaded Was one too many times.

Finally, there are Adjectives / Adverbs.  Like the previous two subjects, this advice comes from a good place.  Adjectives are often the sign of an inexperienced writer trying too hard to be clear.  They're an often unnecessary way of jazzing up a sentence to give it more energy.  More often than not, they end up dragging the sentence down.  Still, Adjectives / Adverbs have their place, and their appearance doesn't always mean weak writing.  They're good to avoid, but they aren't going to destroy your novel's appeal.

Truthfully, I can't tell you what an Editor / Agent will want or how to sell your first novel because Agents / Editors are not a single hive mind intelligence.  They're a collection of individuals (imagine that) with their own quirks and desires, their own pet peeves and passions.  What might make one editor toss your book aside might fill another with delight.  And that's important to remember because an aspiring writer isn't looking for any Editor / Agent.  They're looking for the one Editor / Agent that is looking for them.

And even after you manage to get your book published, how the audience will respond is anyone's guess.  Emperor Mollusk versus the Sinister Brain seems to be selling pretty darn well (from what I can tell) and even I'm a bit surprised that a story about a space squid supervillain might reach out to the masses.  And I wrote the damn book.

My point is that it's okay to keep an eye on those general writer bugaboos, but that you can stick to PoV, avoid the Dreaded Was, and never use a single Adverb / Adjective in your book, and it still might stink.  And you could break all the above with regularity, and your book just might end up a bestseller.  Probably not, but hey, what do I know?  I'm the guy who wrote a space squid novel he wasn't even sure he should write.

The best advice I can give to aspiring writers is to develop your own voice, to find a style that works, and to create stories that are worth telling.  The rest is just persistence, faith, and blind luck.  A whole hell of a lot of blind luck.  And anyone who suggest otherwise is either selling you something or lying to themselves.  Maybe both.

Hang in their, folks.  I'm rooting for you.

Keelah Se'lai

Fighting the good fight, Writing the good write,

Lee

Playing Favorites

As a writer with a wide variety of characters and worlds to my credit, I'm often asked what are my favorites?  My favorite characters?  My favorite stories?  My favorite settings?  I have nine novels out there, and while that's not a lot compared to many writers, it's a heck of a lot of characters and stories to choose from because each book is its own standalone story without any connection to the others.  And even under the umbrella of fantasy, I've explored various sub-genres in a way not everyone does.  (No slight on them.  Different strokes, as they say.)

It makes picking favorites hard, not because I'm reluctant to do so, but because each story fits a different need for me, fills a different role.  They might all have similarities, but they aren't meant to be the same stories in terms of theme and execution.  I'm not breaking new ground with every book, but I am trying to do something at least a little bit different even while hoping to keep that A. Lee Martinez style in place.  When I write it like that, I realize how ambitious it sounds.  Funny, because it isn't a product of ambition, but of a love of creating and exploring new worlds and ideas.

But, heck, I can play along.  I can go ahead and play the Pick My Favorites game.  For the record, I can change my mind at any time on this, so don't consider this an official list so much as a general guideline.  Martinez ON Martinez, though don't feel bad if you disagree.  You're certainly allowed.

FAVORITE BOOK

This one gets harder and harder every year, not easier.  The more I write, the more I realize how difficult it is to find a "definitive" A. Lee Martinez book.  Gil's All Fright Diner would probably qualify in terms of sales and recognizability, but I'm not so sure I'd agree that it's definitive.  Maybe that's just because I'd hate to be defined by my first book when I've written eight others, and hopefully, with many more stories ahead of me.

Sigh.  This is tougher than it looks.

Okay, if I were to pick a favorite book, I'd probably go with The Automatic Detective.  I love Mack Megaton.  I love Empire City.  And I love getting to write noir-ish dialogue while still getting to have an indestructible super robot as a protagonist.  I also think Mack's one of my best characters because he is so unusual.  He's a robot who neither hates nor loves humanity.  He sees the world from a thinking machine's perspective, but he also has an underlying humanity (for lack of a better term).  Mack bears a passing resemblance to one of my favorite superheroes, the Thing, who, despite his inhuman appearance, is probably one of the most Average Joe superheroes around.  And when you get right down to it, Mack's just a regular palooka trying to make the world a better place and find some semblance of purpose.

And Empire City is just a keen place to write about.  It's bristling with mutants, rayguns, weird science, classy dames, shady mobsters.  It's a setting that I continue to adore.  So, if push comes to shove, that's my favorite A. Lee Martinez novel.  For the moment anyway.

FAVORITE CHARACTER

I will cop out on this one and say, I don't have a stand out character I love especially.  But I do have characters that stand out in my mind because they're characters I feel like not many writers would have created.

Penelope the broom from A Nameless Witch still holds a special place in my heart.  She's a great character even though she doesn't have a single line of dialogue in the book and her body language consists of floating and flying.  She can't bend or twist or do any toon-ish things.  She's a flying broom.  But somehow, she still manages to have genuine heart and soul.

Then there's Snarg the ultrapede from Emperor Mollusk versus the Sinister Brain.  Emperor's loyal pet and boon companion is a deliberate combination of gruesome and cute.  No effort is made to soften her insectiod qualities, and she communicates in a series of shrieks, squeals, and chirps.  Her chief method of demonstrating affection is to drool a hardening mucous.  And in most other settings, she'd be a terrifying monster.  She is, but she's also as loyal and reliable as Lassie.  Just a lot bigger and with a tendency to decapitate Emperor's enemies.

Finally, I'd say Nessy from Too Many Curses qualifies as a unique Martinez character.  She's small, furry, and the polar opposite of intimidating.  She has neither awesome physical or magical might, and her greatest strength is her sensibleness and her ability to see the best in everyone.  She's no fool, but she refuses to allow herself to by cynical.  And her compassion is played as a commendable trait, not something that weakens her.

"Compassion isn't earned.  It's given."  Technically, I wrote that.  But really, Nessy said it as sure as if she'd dictated it to me.  And in my darkest hours, in my worst moments, I try to remember those words of wisdom.

And that's why I'll always love Nessy.

FAVORITE UNIVERSE

While I do indeed love Empire City, I think my favorite setting of all my stories is probably the world of Divine Misfortune.  I enjoyed creating a world where ancient myth and modern day life intertwine.  I love that it's a setting with gods without having to be a story about faith.  And I really love that the gods of Misfortune are so classic in their roots while being contemporary in their outlook.  In many ways, Misfortune is my most ordinary universe.  It's definitely the story where the least is at stake in terms of world-shaking cataclysm.  It's a modern myth about petty gods and the mortals caught between those gods.

While Misfortune often gets compared to that other book about modern gods, I just don't see much of a comparison at all.  That other book is about spirituality and cultural gestalt, the old versus the new.  Misfortune is about growing up, about accepting responsibility, and about being a worthwhile person, even when you don't have to pay for your mistakes.  It's about doing the right thing for no other reason than you should.  It's not a unique theme in my books, but Misfortune does it just right.

There you have it.  Martinez on Martinez.  Just one guy's opinion and by no means the most important out there.  But hey, now you know.

And knowing is half the battle, right?

Keelah Se'lai

Fighting the good fight, Writing the good write,

Lee

Merchandising, Audie Award Nomination, and Two Game Reviews

First things first.  Time to get a little self-promotion out of the way.  I recently opened a Cafepress store online.  The plan is to put up some merchandise related to my books so that you can express your love and devotion, which would be greatly appreciated.  Right now, there's only an Emperor Mollusk logo and slogan on mugs and shirts, but more stuff will be coming soon, I promise.  And while I'll still like you if you only buy the books, it still might be worth checking out.

WWW.CAFEPRESS.COM/ALEEMARTINEZ

I think this is very promising stuff, and while I've always been a somewhat talented amateur artist, I happened to marry a woman who is a professional graphic artist with all the training that goes with that, so she takes my talented amateur stuff and turns it into professional level stuff.  Don't ask me how she does it.  Some sort of magic, I assume.  Regardless, it's worked out very well for me, so I won't question my great luck.

So what else do I have on my mind other than the power of merchandising?

Have I mentioned that The Automatic Detective has been nominated for an Audie Award in the fantasy category?  Because it has.  And that's a big deal.  So I'm very happy about that.  It's an honor to just be nominated.  But I'm not going to lie.  Winning would be awesome.  I'll keep you updated.

Meanwhile, I've been playing a couple of cool video games.  How about some short reviews?

Monday Night Combat is an Xbox Live Arcade game that plays like Team Fortress, but with a more organized feel.  It's premise is that in the future, clones are pitted against each other in a combat sport.  The object of the game is to support your robots as they push into the enemy territory, knock down the shields on the other team's moneyball (a big glowing disco ball kind of thing), and then be the first to destroy that moneyball to win.  That's the game, and from a simple premise, they built a great game.

Like any game of this sort, there are different roles a player might select, and they tend to fit the expected niches.  There's the agile Assault, the slow-and-steady Tank, the deadly Sniper, the sneaky Assassin, the vicious Gunner, and the reliable Support.  Each role plays to its own strengths and weaknesses, and a team can have any variety or concentration without too much worry.

Because I'm not very good at these types of games, I tend to pick the guys with a lot of health and armor to balance out my rather clumsy nature.  So I'm best with Tank, though I'm decent with Gunner and Assault and can be Support in a pinch.  Assassin and Sniper, I might as well just stand around and let the other team kill me all day.  But, hey, that's what makes the game work.  There's something for everyone.

I think Monday Night Combat wins me over for a couple of reasons.  It's third person, and I like being able to see my character.  Not just because I'm old school, but because it gives a wider view of my surroundings.  With first person games, I always feel like I'm staring down a tunnel.  And when playing against other people, it's frustrating to get gunned down by someone just two feet to your left you didn't see.  But in MNC, while I'll still get ambushed plenty, it usually feels more like they got the drop on me rather than I have no peripheral vision.

I also like that it has a very sly and goofy attitude.  One of the reasons I'm not into a lot of tradtional FPS games is that it feels too "real" sometimes.   Although it's never really that real.  Still, when I'm playing a soldier shooting other soldiers, it can feel brutal and unpleasant.  MNC isn't any of that because it strives to be ridiculous.  Like Team Fortress, it looks and acts like a cartoon.  And I generally prefer cartoonish games to more realistic ones (graphically) because I feel they have more personality.

But what I enjoy most about MNC is that it isn't just about achieving a body count.  Because the game has an objective beyond that, it's less about slaughtering the enemy team as controlling vital points and pushing forward.  To be sure, a body count helps, and if one team is dominating the other in terms of kills, it usually means they're winning.  But not always.  When I play Tank, I primarily concern myself with enemy robots and advancing my own bots.  And a team might have a superior body count tally, but can still lose the game.

Overall, it's a solid game that I've enjoyed for several months now and continue to enjoy.  Once in a while, you might run across the obnoxious Xbox jock, but that's what mute is for.  And for a price of around 20 bucks, I have gotten my money's worth out of it.

The other game I've been playing is Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning.  Or is that KoA: Reckoning?  Or Reckoning: KoA?  However they want you to refer to it, it's a fine game.  The world is huge and the enemies varied.  And there's some sort of grand storyline going on, though I'm not entirely sure what it is at this point.  But where it shines is that it is fun as all get out to hack, slash, and fireball your way across the land.

Reckoning put a lot of work into its combat and it shows.  You have plenty of customization options available to great the kind of warrior / rogue / sorcerer (or combo of those archetypes) at your disposal.  My first character was something of an agile sorcerer, armed with daggers and flying razor sharp discs, coupled with the ability to teleport, set enemies on fire, and throw dirt in their eyes.  She was a lot of fun, but I decided to start a new one.  This one started out as a pure warrior, but over time has become something of an assassin type.  She carries a sword and daggers and is a deadly up close fighter who can take a hit if necessary.

These are just some of the options available.  It wouldn't be hard to create a powerhouse brawler, a skilled archer, a fireball and lightning spitting wizard, or any of a dozen other possibilities.  While I've only explored two characters (and haven't even risen very high in their ranks yet), the two I have played have both been different enough and rewarding that I could see playing the game two or three more times just to see what kind of character I could make.

The world itself is beautiful, colorful, and has a lot of background.  You can do alchemy, blacksmithing, sagecrafting.  There are tons of quests to do, bad guys to kill, and areas to explore.  And it's all solid.  But I'll admit that I'm mostly there to kill rock trolls and bring bandits to bladed justice.  And on that alone, I could recommend this game.

Keelah Se'lai

Fighting the good fight, Writing the good write,

Lee

The Last Emperor (Mollusk Month Post)

Emperor Mollusk Month!! continues, but if I can be honest, I'm out of things to say about it.  I could say more, but why give away surprises?  I've disclosed enough about the book that anyone should have an idea if it's something they're interested in, and if you're still having trouble committing after being told that this is a book with a space squid, a giant centipede, mega robots, mutant dinosaurs, and a journey of personal growth as one hero / villain struggles to find his place in the world . . . well, I just don't know what else to tell you.

It has a lizard woman in it, if you're into that sort of thing.

I think it's great, but I wrote it.  I should think it's great.  I hope you think it's great, and I hope you buy it and share it with your friends and tell everyone how wonderful it is using the power of the internet.  I've made my case, and I can only hope you're on board.  If not, thanks for stopping by.  Visitors are always appreciated.

On a related note, I'm working on getting some original merchandise up at Cafepress.com to help promote the book and also because it's something I love doing as well.  I have always been an amateur artist.  A very amateur artist.  But recently, technology has given me the tools to not only create some art I really love, but also to distribute it to the rest of the world.  I admit it'd be awesome to make some extra bucks off of doing something else I love, but it also feels greedy.  I'm already an incredibly lucky guy.  Still, if you want to buy a T-shirt with some A. Lee Martinez theme on it, I'm not going to complain.

I'd also like to take a moment to remind everyone that Chasing the Moon, my previous novel, is out in mass market paperback now.  Just a refresher:  It's the story of a woman named Diana who ends up with an apartment full of cosmic monsters.  It's a cosmic horror story at its heart, though not an especially dark one.  The paradox of a not-dark horror story is one I'm comfortable with, but I can see why it can be confusing to some.  The best way I could describe it would be if H.P. Lovecraft wrote a story where people didn't have to go insane at the end and where even Cthulhu isn't certain anything is important.  It's about a universe you can't possibly comprehend and how that doesn't have to destroy your mind.  Or at least, not right away.

But that's life, right?

Finally, I admit that my last few posts have been largely self-promotional.  That is why this website exists, so I don't feel bad about that.  But I also know that sometimes people drop by here just to read whatever strange thoughts I might have to offer, to bask in my brilliant insights or chuckle at my obsession over obscure superheroes.  Whatever the reason, I'm glad you stop by now and then and though Emperor Mollusk Month!! continues, I'll post something less mercantile soon.  Promise.

Keelah Se'lai

Fighting the good fight, Writing the good write,

Lee

Inverte-Great!

When first getting published, I used to check my Amazon.com sales rankings all the time.  It was fun, exciting.  It was a reminder that my novels were out there in the world and that, if someone had the urge, they could find them and buy them.  This still confuses and amazes me.  Often.  I spent over a decade trying to make this happen.  Now it has.  And while novelology and miscellaneous writing are now my official, no-foolin' job, it continues to blow my mind.  But we all get used to things, and I stopped checking my Amazon numbers, stopped Googling my name quite so much, stopped scanning the internet for the tiniest little mention.  These are all important things, but they aren't something I obsess over anymore.  But occasionally, I drop by the internet to see how it feels about me.  And I still check the Amazon rankings now and then, though I'm not quite sure how important they genuinely are.

Imagine my surprise when Emperor Mollusk versus the Sinister Brain was ranked at 2,100 (or so) at my last check.  That is nothing short of astounding.  Especially since it isn't even officially for sale yet.  I don't know how it happened.  I don't know if it's a fluke.  I don't know if it means a damn thing.  But it's awesome, and I'm pleased as punch.

Given that this is Emperor Mollusk Month!!, part of me wonders if my publicity push has made any difference.  There's no way to know.  It's safe to say though that publicity is of vital importance in a novelologist's job.  I might write the greatest novels in the universe.  If nobody knows about them, nobody buys them.  And I could have the worst book in existence, and a good publicity campaign guarantees at least some sales.  Spreading the word matters.  And if you've ever mentioned me to a friend, even in the most offhand manner, then you have my eternal thanks.

Publicity and marketing are very important.  In fact, it's why I tend to warn people off of self-publishing right now.  You can self-pub your book.  It might be great.  It might be terrible.  But competing in the marketplace is more about getting people to notice you than any particular talent.  It'd be wonderful to live in a world where talent was all that mattered and where a writer could self-pub an amazing novel and get the recognition they deserved.  But when have we ever lived in that world?

Like most things, life is built on cycles.  A popular thing becomes more popular.  Unpopular things tend to spiral downward.  People love Harry Potter and there's no reason for them not to.  But I can't honestly believe that there aren't dozens of books as good (perhaps even better) that are lounging in obscurity.  A blockbuster film that spends millions on advertising is going to make more money than most small obscure movies.  And actors get roles based on how much they can pull in at the box office, not talent.  (Though these don't have to be mutually exclusive elements.)

I'm not suggesting that popular stuff sucks or that obscure stuff is artistically superior.  I don't know if I believe success and talent are as related as people would like to believe.  There is popular stuff that is great and wonderful.  And popular stuff that isn't.  And there is obscure stuff that is great and wonderful.  And obscure stuff that isn't.

What's not up for debate though is the importance of exposure.  We all know terrible movies that no one has ever seen (or admitted to seeing) that people can still somehow quote verbatim.  And we all know wonderful movies / books that we just never quite got around to seeing / reading because we've been busy and we keep forgetting they're out there.

On March 5th, don't forget about Emperor Mollusk.  He hasn't forgotten about you.

 

Onto the Emperor Mollusk Month!! post:

If I was going to stress anything about Emperor Mollusk versus the Sinister Brain, it's that this is not a silly novel.  It is absurd, certainly, but no less absurd than John Carter's Mars, Doc Savage's bronze age, or any number of pulp realms.  No doubt, many will label the book a parody.  Others might mistakenly call it an homage.  Heck, I might even be tempted to call it a pastiche.

It is none of these things.  It is unapologetic pulp awesomeness.  It should be read with that understanding and judged accordingly.  By no means, do I expect everyone to like it, and if someone hates it because they didn't feel it was pulpy enough, then I accept their criticism.  But if someone says it isn't funny enough.  Or if it's too silly.  Well . . . I can't dismiss those criticisms either because I'm a professional and that means taking this stuff seriously.  But I can at least prime the audience so that they go in expecting what I wanted to give them, not something else.

Emperor's universe is larger than life and full of epic adventure.  None of this is done with a smirk.  All of it is 100 percent sincere in its inspiration.  While there will no doubt be comparisons drawn between Emperor and Megamind, the two characters couldn't be further apart in terms of what their stories are about.  Megamind is a deconstruction and playful look at the bad guy.  Emperor Mollusk IS the bad guy.  And he's also the good guy.  He is amazing and filled with to the brim with confidence and genius.

When you picture a scene out of Emperor Mollusk, you should be picturing something out of Avatar (minus the boring parts where people stand around talking) or the new John Carter film.  When Emperor faces down a squad of Saturnite shock troopers, you should see it as a battle, not a wink.  And the crimes Emperor has committed, they're serious.  He's done some bad stuff.

Emperor is carved from the same mold as so many classic heroes of sci fi / fantasy.  He is resolute, capable, intelligent, powerful, and formidable.  He is, without apology from me, the most awesome character in his universe.  Just as John Carter dominates Mars or Flash Gordon kicks Ming's butt, so it is that Emperor Mollusk is a heroic / villainous ideal.  He's not invincible.  But he is outstanding, and he knows it.

And his universe, as strange and ridiculous as it often is, is not meant to be weird.  It's just a realm of adventure where mutant dinosaurs roam and giant robot fights are a way of life.  But like almost everything I've ever written, this is not meant to be taken in an "ironic" way with a wink and a nod to an audience that is too "smart" to really enjoy those things.  No, this reflects something missing from literature for far too long.  Grand adventure where anything goes.  Ray guns and spaceship battles and mind-control devices and strange alien invaders who seem determined to conquer the earth because that's what strange alien invaders do.  And while I'm sure that stuff is still out there, I'm just trying to throw a little bit more into the collective consciousness because the world is a better place when we're allowed to close our eyes and imagine the absurd without having to excuse ourselves.

We don't have to apologize for liking the fantastic.  We can dive in, without irony, without fear.  And it can be awesome.

And that's what Emperor Mollusk versus the Sinister Brain is all about.

Keelah Se'lai

Fighting the good fight, Writing the good write,

Lee

 

Pulp Friction

Emperor Mollusk versus the Sinister Brain is not a funny book.  It IS a fun book, so I can see why people sometimes don't get the difference.  We are constantly being told that there is serious stuff and funny stuff and rarely are they allowed to meet.  I realize, even as I dare suggest that a story about a space squid from Neptune and his battle against a disembodied evil brain isn't just silly nonsense, that I am facing an uphill battle.  And I realize too that I've won over a lot of people who already come to this site on any regular basis.

You like me.  You really like me.

But of course, there are always those folks who might be dropping by for the first time, for whatever reason, and I'm here to tell them that Emperor Mollusk versus the Sinister Brain, despite the title, despite the premise, despite my reputation, and despite the tag line is not meant to be funny.  This is something I've written about before, and regular readers will probably be sick of it.  But I can no longer sit back and allow the perception to go unchallenged.  In a world where everyone's opinion can be broadcast over the internet, a writer has to do a little preemptive strike of his own now and then.

To begin with, Emperor Mollusk is NOT a parody of pulp fantasy.  Nor is it a satire, farce, etc.  Nope.  It's straight pulp fantasy.  It's full of weird ideas and strange happenings, and these are all played perfectly straight.  They might (and often should) bring a smile to your lips because of their absurdity, but that doesn't mean this is comedy.  It isn't.  Or at least it wasn't intended to be.

I'm reminded of my previous novel Chasing the Moon which I have mentioned before is intended to be a cosmic horror story.  It might not end with everyone going insane, and its monsters might be relatively human in their outlook.  But at its heart, it's a story about human insignificance and of a grand, terrifying universe we can never truly understand.  I just chose to tell the story from a less traditional perspective.  And it's true that there's not much violence or gore in the novel.  But it's also true that if you don't read that novel with the slight dread of how unimportant you are and how vast and indifferent the universe is, then either you missed the point or I wasn't clear enough.  Hey, I can take the blame.  I am the author.

It's nothing new.  I've been dealing with it for a while. 

Divine Misfortune is, for me, an exploration of personal responsibility and the morality of great power.  To many folks, it's just a silly little book about modern day gods (especially when placed to that other far more popular and critically acclaimed book about modern day gods). 

Monster is either a deconstruction of urban fantasy and a character portrait of a guy who is his own worst enemy.  Or it was just a silly little book about a guy who catches monsters for a living.

The Automatic Detective is about our inner nature versus our own desires to defy them and become a better person.  Or it's just a silly little story about a robot who fights mutants.

You get the idea.

I feel a bit silly complaining about any of this.  This is inevitably a result of the way I choose to write and the stories I find appealing.  Even the medium I once loved so much (comic book superheroes) understands that you have to splash the pages with blood and tragedy if you're to be taken seriously.  And I know that, no matter how well I state my case, there are those who will always consider me just a funny writer, and I'm lucky to have them as fans, so I don't want to imply that I'm insulted by their support.  If they buy my books because they're funny, I will happily thank them for being fans.

Seriously.  You guys are the best.  Every time I sit down to write this blog or my next story, I realize how fortunate I am.  And at the end of the day, it's because you folks out there buy the books and spread the word.  You could live without my books.  But my books couldn't live without you.

Rambling.  Let's rap this up.

Emperor Mollusk is a story about the burdens of greatness, of being better, smarter, and just plain more awesome than everyone around you.  Emperor is a genius and a master of his universe.  He makes mistakes, sure, and because he is who he is, those mistakes can be awe-inspiring and terrifying.  But that's his burden.  We all strive to be important, to be the best, to leave a lasting impression on this universe.  Emperor does that every time he makes breakfast.  It's about the incredible power and loneliness, the isolation and frustration, that comes from being ruler of the world and master of the galaxy.  It's about being your own worst enemy, about those fatal flaws that define us even though we should know better.

And, yes, it's about mutant dinosaurs and giant fightin' robots too.  These are also things I enjoy.  And if a story can be about the human condition and about stone men from Saturn, then I feel like I've done my job.

Whether or not the universe (and the audience) agrees is another matter entirely, but I've said my bit, offered my commentary.  The rest is out of my control.  Thanks for reading.  And I hope you pick up Emperor Mollusk versus the Sinister Brain on March 5th or Chasing the Moon (now out in mass market paperback).  Regardless of why you might enjoy them, I just hope that you do.

Did I mention it has giant fightin' robots?

Keelah Se'lai

Fighting the good fight, Writing the good write,

Lee

Terra Firma

It's Wednesday, and I haven't posted anything for Emperor Mollusk Month!! yet.  Where does the time go?  Apologies, folks.

Today, let's talk about Terra, the world you and I might know as Earth.  Emperor's Terra is not quite our world, though it's similar in most regards.  But just as the Sol System is filled with populated planets, so Terra is a place where myth, legend, and pulp science fiction collide.  It is a world teeming with lost civilizations and many different intelligent races.  This is what made it so appealing to Emperor.  Terra is a universe unto itself, and while the other worlds of the system have a lot to offer, Terra is filled to the brim with adventure and discovery.

The most plentiful and widespread natives are the Terra Sapiens.  Their numbers mean they're usually called Terrans, though this term applies to the numerous other races as well.  Still, if you say Terran, you're usually referring to the Terra Sapiens (or humans, as we call them in our universe).

The history of the Terra Sapiens is mostly identical to our own, but there are differences.  The British Empire once had a war with both the Spanish and the fleets of Atlantis.  The Mole People sacked Rome at least three times.  And aliens from other worlds have been attempting to conquer the planet for thousands of years.  Nearly every intelligent race in the system has attempted to claim Terra.  None have ever quite succeeded.  The Martians held Toronto for a week in 1974 before finally being repelled.  Despite their inferior technology, the Terrans have a resolve (coupled with an occasional genius, contrived bit of science) and the ability to band together that no other race in the system does.

How Emperor finally conquered the Terrans is a secret I'll leave for the book to explain.

Atlantis sank into the ocean less than five hundred years ago.  Its inhabitants, the Atlantese, are a mercantile people.  In particular, those living on the small bit of surface land available (the highest point of the continent remains just above water) are unapologetic capitalists.  The Atlantese living below the surface are less so, but they're so busy paying for oxygen and waterproofing that they don't have much voice.  Even the Atlantese army is run like a business with promotion coming from running profitable operations.  Atlantis has the most advanced technology native to Terra, but it doesn't have to resources except to field a few mercenary units, so it's no longer a threat to the rest of Terra.

Terra is also home to the Undersphere Kingdoms, where the mole people live.  There are two distinct nations of mole people living below the surface.  Emperor has had dealings with the larger nation.  He was content to leave them alone and in return, they didn't rise out of the depths to fight him with their drill tanks and leviathans lurking deep below.  The mole people have never been especially hostile to the surface world, and they couldn't care less who is running things above.  But Emperor made a favorable impression on them and as a gift, they presented him with a royal ultrapede.  This rare creature is a giant insect bred to act as a protector and companion to the Undersphere's royal family.  Emperor was the first surface dweller to receive such a gift.  Snarg quickly became his most loyal and trusted ally.

In Africa, the Everlasting Dynasty is the oldest empire still worth noting on Terra, though it's not much of an empire at this point.  Ruled by the immortal Queen Serket, the dynasty's strength has always been the mysterious spring that provides waters with mystical properties.  The waters are the key to every bit of dynastic scientific advancement.  With it, they have the ability to create living stone statues, genetically modify insects (especially scorpions), and create a wide variety of improbable death rays powered by the sun and crystals.  While this gave them an edge at the dawn of Terran history, it soon proved less reliable than traditional technology.  The dark secret of the Everlasting Dynasty is that they've never really understood how their technology works, so innovation eventually crawled to a standstill while the rest of Terra pushed forward.  Emperor has offered to take a look at the water that powers it, but the dynasty sees its technology as sacred and beyond mortal comprehension.  While they aren't a threat to the rest of the world, they can still defend themselves.  In the last days of WWII, the desperate Nazis attempted to invade the Everlasting Dynasty.  It was a disastrous failure.  After that, the dynasty has been left alone by the rest of Terra.

There are so many other wonders on Terra, we could be here all day.

Dinosaur Island, where a space-time anomaly and rampant radiation have created a dangerous land of mutant dinosaurs.

Or The Sasquatch Nations, located in the area you and I would know as North and South Dakota.

There's the hidden paradise of Shambhala in the Himalayas, where the monks live in peace and isolation, drawing on a mysterious energy field that only Emperor Mollusk could finally understand and tame (and even then, only barely).

And then there's the secret of the Eiffel Tower itself.  Or of the strange creatures that live below the Antarctic continent.

It is a world of mysteries.  It is Emperor's world.  Whether he likes it or not.

Keelah Se'lai

Fighting the good fight, Writing the good write,

Lee

Deathrays Not Included

My last post on Emperor Mollusk Month!! was long and involved and offered a peek at Emperor's universe.  Today, I'll endeavor to keep things more concise.

Let's talk about Emperor Mollusk himself.  He's our hero and our villain.  Or is he our anti-hero and anti-villain?  The line is not quite clear. even to him.  It's safer to call him the protagonist of the story since he is the guy at its center.

As I've mentioned in previous posts, Emperor did some nasty things in his past.  He has hurt people, endangered worlds, and otherwise acted in irresponsible ways that have put the galaxy at risk.  Even after retiring, he still does that.  Emperor has a bad habit for supervillainy, often unintentional.  He just can't help himself.

Retirement for Emperor is less about not being a bad guy and more about keeping himself in check.  He doesn't always succeed.  Boundless curiosity and enthusiasm mean he'll usually build a doomsday device before considering whether he should.  He might have no intention of ever using it, but he MUST build it.  If he unlocks some incredible research with terrible potential, he MUST see it through.  And afterward, provided the planet doesn't explode, he puts those secrets away somewhere safe because he can't just destroy them.

What if that place isn't so safe after all?

Aside from its pulpy origins, its epic journey from one exotic location to the next, its mutant dinosaurs and giant robots, what is Emperor Mollusk all about?  It's about how, in the right situation, we're all the bad guy.  It's about our desire to be important, to make a difference, even while somehow thinking we can do so without a downside.  It's about struggling to find satisfaction in our lives even as we achieve the goals we think should do just that.

I've always felt that was what made the supervillain an interesting character.  A good supervillain is admirable in some regards, tragic in others.  Those writers who choose to make their evil masterminds psychotic serial killers aren't usually attempting to explore what it would really be like to be smarter and more capable than everyone around you.  It seems like it would be both exhilarating and endlessly frustrating.  Like spending your whole life stuck behind that slow dude at the checkout line who takes ten minutes to operate the debit card machine or listening to politicians hash the same old issues over and over and over again.  It's being surrounded by animals that gleefully pollute their own environment and spend more time Keeping up with the Kardashians than trying to help one another.  It's staring at the back of a bumper sticker of someone urinating on BLANK and thinking, "Jeepers, a deathray would be sweet right about now."

We all have our supervillain moments.  Few of us actually have a deathray.

Emperor Mollusk does.

I've always thought Lex Luthor needs Superman.  He needs a problem he can't solve.  If he didn't have Superman to obsess over, to blame his failures on, to battle endlessly, Lex would only have himself to fight.  He might rule the planet, but he'd be just as miserable and unsatisfied.  Nothing can ever be enough for Lex.

In that way, Lex has an advantage over Emperor Mollusk, who managed to achieve his dream, only to discover it lacking.  With no Superman to stand in his way, Emperor conquered a world, brought it peace and prosperity, kept it safe from other threats, and managed somehow not to blow it up himself.  Something even he found surprising.  In the end, it didn't satisfy him.  But because he is brilliant in a way only a fictional character can be, because he's one step ahead of nearly everyone, he also can't just abandon a world that has come to depend on him so very much.

We all want to be important.  Emperor actually is.

It might be expecting too much to pity the poor guy because that's life.  We're all stuck trying to work it out.  So maybe Emperor is a bad guy.  Or a good guy.  Or something in-between.  But I'd like to think we can all relate, even if we don't have access (thankfully) to an earthquake machine.

Keelah Se'lai

Fighting the good fight, Writing the good write,

Lee

The System According to Mollusk

Emperor Mollusk Month!! continues…

Last post, I wrote about how much I want people to take Emperor Mollusk versus the Sinister Brain seriously.  And I'm not going to repeat myself too often on that, but I am going to remind you, my loyal fans.  I realize I have a reputation as a funny writer, and I'm okay with that.  But if you could do me a tiny favor and refrain from mentioning that as the first adjective you attach to my work, it'd sure be appreciated.  You can still put "funny" on the list.  Just maybe second or third.  Basically, it'd be nice if someone picked up my book without assuming, even accidentally, that I am a goofy writer.  Sure, they'll probably come to that conclusion on their own, but I'd like them to go in at least a little unbiased.

I know that's a little obnoxious to ask that of my fans.  But I'm asking it anyway because it'd sure mean a heck of a lot to me.  Though if you buy and / or talk about my books to your friends, I can't complain.  So feel free to ignore me, if you wish.

Today, we're going to talk about Emperor Mollusk's universe.

Emperor calls the Sol System home.  It's the same basic system of nine planets.  (Yes, Pluto is still a planet in this story because its natives refuse to be reclassified.)  The big difference is that EVERY planet is inhabited.  As is the sun itself.  Here's a brief rundown on the planets and their natives:

Mercury: Mercury is home to a race of metallic beings.  Due to their proximity to Sol, they have adapted to an environment of great heat.  Without it, Mercurial life forms begin to freeze.  Outside of their own world, the Mercurials would be unmistakable from modern art sculptures.  In an environment like our earth, they would quickly become brittle and shatter.  The Mercurial environment is so inhospitable to other life forms and the Mercurials are so unsuited to other worlds, they remained isolated through most of their history.  When they were technologically able to finally leave their world, they discovered themselves to be the latecomers.  Rather than attempt to become part of the system, they decided to withdraw to Mercury.  They still have limited interactions with the rest of the system, but for the most part, they remain ignored and ignore the other civilizations in return.

Mercurials communicate via high frequency vibration.  These vibrations can have psychedelic and unpredictable results on other life forms unless precautions are taken.  Experiments have shown that the effect varies not just by species, but by individual.  It can trigger anything from docility to rage and anything and everything in-between.  It's another reason the Mercurials don't have much to do with the other civilizations.

Emperor Mollusk stole some Mercurial communications technology, which he adapted and used as part of his conquest of Terra.  The technology proved not quite as helpful as Emperor originally hoped, but the Mercurials have never forgiven him.  He is currently Mercury's most wanted criminal.

Venus: The Venusians are a race of humanoid reptilians.  They have feathers that run from the top of their head down their spines.  And they are the only intelligent race in the system that still has tails.  The bulk of Venusian society is built on honor codes and martial prowess.  They are not an innately matriarchal society, but because females live generally twice as long as males, power tends to rest in the hands of a few long-lived females.  The Venusian Queen is a hereditary and government role, though she is something of a figurehead at this point.  Though Venusians enjoy combat and honor, they aren't especially aggressive with the other races of the system.  (Unlike the Saturnites.)

Venus is noteworthy for having thirteen gods, all of whom actually exist.  Whether they are powerful alien entities or actual gods is up for debate, but their existence is a fact.  Though these beings have incredible power (perhaps supernatural, perhaps psychic or of unmatched technological development), they aren't prone to helping the Venusians in their struggles.  In fact, the only life forms the gods of Venus seem to bother smiting and attacking are the Venusians themselves.  The Venusians seem not to mind this.  They've gotten used to it.

Emperor Mollusk briefly controlled a few continents on Venus.  They eventually drove him off, but not until after he'd accidentally fed their queen to giant beetles.  Though he apologized, he remains Venus's most wanted criminal.

Terra:  Though you know it as Earth, the inhabitants of Emperor's universe call it Terra.  It is a diverse world of many different civilizations, some old, some new, and has a long and renowned history of improbably repelling alien invaders.  Because it is the setting of the story, it deserves its own entry and will be getting one later.

Oh, and they really like Emperor Mollusk here.  A whole heck of a lot.

Mars: Home to the most ancient civilization, the Martians aren't really important to our story.  Sufficient to say that, for reasons to complicated to get into, Emperor Mollusk is Mar's fourth most wanted criminal.  Which he actually considers a hopeful sign.

Jupiter: A big planet with a diverse biosphere, the Jupitorns that call it home are a race of highly evolved insectoids.  They are most renown for their adaptability and rapid evolution.  During their brief war with the Saturnites, Jupiter had several advanced radioactive weapons dropped on the planet.  Instead of killing them, the Jupitorn gift for adaptation went into overdrive.  They are a constantly changing race and within the space of a few generations, they can end up looking radically different.  Recently, they have begun intentionally taking advantage of this diversity to specifically breed certain characteristics among different castes.  This is not liked by all Jupitorns and will most likely lead to civil war eventually.

Currently, the "average" Jupitorn stands between six and nine feet tall, has two to four arms.  Wings are a new development, though only the political class is allowed to breed for them.  Jupitorns are notriously strong, coming from a high gravity world.  They are a peaceful people, more or less, though the warrior caste breeding program has begun favoring bold aggression, which will probably cause that civil war thing mentioned previously.

Saturn: Hands down, the most aggressive civilization of the Sol System, the Saturnites are a race of rock creatures.  They have waged wars among themselves since recorded time and continue to do so.  They really only put aside their differences when going to war against other worlds or defending themselves.  Though they could be a major threat to the peace of the system, the other races have spies, saboteurs, and other agents who make sure to sow conflict whenever it looks like the Saturnites are getting too organized.  It's not hard to do.

Shortly after Emperor Mollusk conqured Terra, the Saturnites launched their own invasion on what they thought would be a vulnerable world.  The war was brief but brutal.  And in the end, Emperor committed his worst crime against the system to end it.  He doesn't like to talk about it.

Yes, the Saturnites want Emperor dead.  No, they don't do anything about it because they are that afraid of him.

Uranus: A forest world, Uranus has no none flora life forms.  The Uranacs are a highly evolved form of creeping vine.  They have little use for space travel, though they do have open trade with the rest of the system.  The Uranacs are intelligent, contemplative, and very peaceful.  Though they are technically vulnerable to invasion from the more advanced and war-like species of the system, they have cultivated enough allies that no one wants to risk attacking them.

The Uranacs are a forgiving and graceful race, and they don't like to bring up past slights.  But if Emperor Mollusk was brought to them in chains, they wouldn't mind feeding him to one of their indigenous carnivores.  They usually won't say more than that.

Neptune: The Neptunons are a race of superintelligent cepholapods that call this planet home.  Their brains evolved very quickly, so they are decades and centuries ahead in terms of technology compared to the other races of the system.  Neptunons spend much of their time plugged into robotic exoskeletons to allow them to overcome their small, squishy bodies.  Neptunon society values learning and science above all.  However, they are less interested in practical application of that science than in discovery so while they are the most advanced race in the system, most of these advances are on paper and never actually been put to any practical use.  The entire planet is sealed behind a worldwide forcefield to discourage visitors while the Neptunons explore the secrets of the universe.

Emperor Mollusk found this disconcerting at a very young age.  It isn't unusual for youthful Neptunons to indulge their passions for superscience in unseemly ways, but Emperor never outgrew it.  When he was old enough, he attempted to conquer the planet.  Interestingly enough, crime is virtually unheard of on Neptune, but what little crime there is tends to be of the world-conquering variety.  His attempt failed and was chalked up to youthful exuberance.  However, after his second attempt, the authorities were less forgiving.  On his third attempt, it became clear that Emperor was going to be a problem, so they banished him, sending him out in the universe to be someone else's problem.  Actually, everyone else's problem.

He is very much NOT wanted on Neptune, thank you very much.

Pluto: Pluvians.  Nice.  Polite.  Pretty dull.  They do make a good pizza though.  (What?  You didn't think that was a terrestrial recipe, did you?)

Luna:  Terra's moon is home to an odd race of creates known as the Lunans.  Diplomacy between Terra and Luna was strained for many years, after the Lunans accidentally ate Neil Armstrong.  Emperor smoothed out that misunderstanding and helped Luna become the terrestrial suburb world it has grown into.

Sol: The sun is home to a civilization of sentient helium clouds.  The most alien life forms, they communicate via light flashes and the color spectrum.  Sol is unique in that Emperor Mollusk hasn't done anything to get the natives mad at him yet.  But give him time.

There you have it.  Just some background.  Most if it is actually irrelevant to Emperor Mollusk versus the Sinister Brain, but serious writers build worlds.  So I can do that too.  Plus, now when the story mentions the Sol Collective, you'll know what it's talking about.  And won't that be keen?

Thanks for reading.  Next time, we'll discuss Terra itself, a world of boundless mysteries and lost civilizations and current home to the system's number one retired supervillain.

Keelah Se'lai

Fighting the good fight, Writing the good write,

Lee

Villain or Hero

It's Emperor Mollusk Month, and that means, it's time to talk about, you guessed it, Emperor Mollusk versus The Sinister Brain, dropping in stores and online on March 5th.  Order your copy today.  Or mark it on your calender.  Or just try really really hard to remember.  Whatever works best for you.

Today, I'd like to talk about the themes of the story.  I don't generally get too much into this, but I've grown a wee bit sick lately in being  classified as a "fluff" writer.  I tried not to let it bother me, but after a certain point, a guy just has to say something.  I'm not out to defend myself or my work.  I'm just here to give you a perspective of why I wrote it and what it means to me.

To be certain, Emperor Mollusk is an absurd story set in an absurd universe.  It involves aliens, ray guns, mad science, and supervillainy.  I have no problem admitting that these things are strange and generally "not serious".  And this is an adventure story about our hero, a space squid, attempting to stop our villain, a disembodied brain, from conquering the galaxy.  There is no hard science here.  And most elements of the story exist because I thought it would be fun or interesting to put them in there.

Despite this, Emperor Mollusk is not meant to be a trivial read.  It wrestles with some philosophical and existential dilemmas, and its protagonist is meant to be three-dimensional and nuanced, even if he is a supervillain.  And make no mistake on that.  Emperor IS a supervillain.  While he's our hero, he also has a bad history.  He's done some pretty horrible things in the past.  Nothing malicious or cruel.  Just utterly ruthless and morally questionable.

Let's just put it out there.  Emperor's resemblance to Minion from Megamind is going to catch a lot of people's attention.  And since Megamind was the story of a supervillain reforming, the comparisons will be drawn.  Probably often.  I rather enjoyed the film, but while both Megamind and Emperor Mollusk are reformed supervillains, there is a very big difference between them.  Megamind is mostly a harmless villain.  He doesn't really hurt anyone.  He just menaces a bit before being recaptured and sent to jail.  His villainy is explicitly of societal expectation, and his redemption isn't all that difficult to buy because he was never truly a bad guy, just a guy who acted bad because he thought that's what he should do.

Emperor Mollusk is a bad guy.  Or at least, he was.  He's done a lot of bad things in his backstory, and he did one thing so utterly terrible that it became his transformative moment.  I won't say what he did (won't ruin the surprise), but I will say while he considered it a necessary evil, it basically ruined supervillainy as a "fun" thing to do.  It is at that moment when Emperor stops being a bad guy.  However, he's still not exactly a good guy.  He's not interested in redemption because he knows he can never be redeemed.

But fortunately for Emperor, he's not the kind of guy to beat himself up over past mistakes.  He swims forward.  He protects a world he previously conquered until it can defend itself again.  And he tries to keep his own love of superscience in check.  Or at least keep any of his experiments from accidentally destroying the universe.

So maybe Emperor lives in a strange universe.  His best friend is a giant, cyborg centipede from the center of the earth.  His bodyguard / archenemy is a lizard woman from Venus.  And he regularly runs across mutant dinosaurs, giant plant monsters, and mummy queens.  But that doesn't mean he's just a goofball.

He's a not-quite-bad guy with a lot of baggage, and his personal journey is one of self-discovery, mad science, and the quest for inner peace we all struggle with.  And just because he's a squid from Neptune, it doesn't mean his story or his universe is a joke.

Just ask the Saturnites.

Keelah Se'lai

Fighting the good fight, Writing the good write,

Lee