Elissa Stein's Blog, page 8

puppets

Today I don't have anything to say. So I thought I'd make things instead. And that's helping even if it's only a tiny bit. 
Stay tuned. More to come.

complacency

Sigh.

Ok.

Where to begin. What to say.

There is too much to say and there are also no words. The feeling that the world has been torn apart over the past few days is an understatement. Watching feelings come out of the woodwork, people divided. Politeness and empathy often left in the dust of panic. All valid and warranted.

There's palpable fear. Anger. Trepidation.

I had more than one moment of worrying about what I put out into the world. Tiny me, on my insignificant blog, in my tweets nobody reads, thought the worst more than once.

But I've come to realize we have to speak. We have to voice what we're feeling, our frustration, our discontent, our disgust.

We have to shout.

WE. HAVE. TO. SHOUT.

And that's not something I, or many I know, are used to. I'm used to polite, to quiet, to calm discussion.

Those days are over.

Many of us are being fundamentally challenged for the very basis of who we are.

We can't change. We shouldn't change.

We won't change.

And the universe needs to keep hearing that.

Fuck complacency.

And watch out world.

helpers

With all that's going on in the world, this keeps coming back to me: 
When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” ― Fred Rogers

To me, that is a profound and powerful and positive thought.

It's scary out there right now. Everyone has their own ways of supporting. No one should be judging or shaming others on how they want to help. That angry energy could and should be channeled towards something other than divisiveness and judgement.

I hope people can soon come together instead of looking for ways to tear things even more apart.

angry (change 1)

Yeah. I'm angry.

Frustrated.

Disheartened.

Disillusioned.

Disenfranchised.

Sad.

Actually, heartbroken.

I feel voiceless.

Powerless.

Lost.

Overwhelmed.

While I'm generally a looker at the bright side, a glass mostly full, a silver lining kind of person, today I woke up and wasn't.

I will be again.

But not right now.

What I'm going to do is write every day. Every single day. My next project came to me and I know what I've got to start researching and formulating and putting out into the world.

That will help.

So will knowing it's ok to feel like this.

Thank you Donald

I've found myself frozen in inaction this election season. As a writer, I've had no words. My creativity went missing and stayed that way as I silently watched the evolving mess. But, I've found brave, smart, resilient, like-minded people out there, wanting and working to keep this country safe and tolerant and moving forward. They inspired me to write this:
Thank you Donald (you can read it at Huffington Post or below)
Never in a million years would I have imagined stringing those words and that thought together, but after this anxiety-producing, accusatory, contentious election season, I realize that one person is responsible for all that has transpired. You’ve brought the hatred that runs deep in this country out in the open. Thank you for bringing intolerance into the limelight. Thank you for showing the world what a bully in action looks like.Thank you for showing us how many Americans would support building a wall to keep out those who want to move here, who would willingly break up families, who would deport those already living here. Thank you for highlighting Islamophobia and for making sure radical terrorists got more attention than they ever have. By doing that, you highlighted the many Muslim-American families who are such a vibrant fabric of this country.In fact, thank you for attacking Khizr and Ghazala Khan, grieving parents of an American hero. Thanks too for accepting a Purple Heart and then questioning its authenticity, while saying you always wanted one your own even though you were continually deferred from having to serve. While managing to insult Gold Star families, members of the military, and veterans at the same time, you brought their collective service and suffering to the forefront. Thank you for mocking that reporter so that there could be more conversation about people living with disabilities and the extra challenges they have to deal with. Thank you for making rampant assumptions about entire demographics with statements like Mexicans are drug dealers and rapists and African-Americans are barely surviving in violent ghettos. Those sorts of sweeping generalizations make it easy to pinpoint blatant racism. Thank you for driving a deep wedge into the Republican Party, so the country could see how many elected officials would choose self preservation over the welfare of not just their constituencies, but the entire country. Thank you for showing us just how partisan our government and governing institutions are. Thank you for inadvertently talking about menstruation and maintaining the age-old superstition that periods render women incompetent. Because the millions of us in this country know that’s not true.Thank you for choosing Mike Pence as your running mate. There is not a candidate more qualified for making sure the country knows your utter lack of respect for women and their right to make their own decisions about their bodies.Thank you for bringing women’s issues to the forefront. Your predatory words and dismissive attitude, your rating system and misogyny enabled countless women to speak up and learn they’re not alone in having been abused and assaulted, victims of sexism, attacks, rape. When Hillary talked about a glass ceiling, she was calling out a fundamental truth in this country. Women have been treated as second-class citizens for too long.As a society, we’ve done a remarkable job of keeping much of this just below the surface. But you blew the lid off, uncovering and highlighting the ills that run deep and keep this country from moving forward.So yes, thank you Donald. The silver lining is that now it’s all out there. You shined a light on what is, and with that knowledge perhaps innovation can come.Now it’s time for the thinkers, the doers, the dreamers, the visionaries, the educators, the activists, the people of this country, and hopefully the elected officials and lawmakers to work to make constructive and positive change happen.I’ve been with her since day one.Yours truly, A citizen who can’t wait to vote

under the weather

My sinuses are back up.

My head aches from the pressure

My left eye is pink and swollen and leaking goo in a variety of colors.

My throat is sore from chronic coughing.

Which led to my voice leaving me high and dry for a couple of days.

My body is rather achy.

I feel strange on all the webs.

I desperately need sleep but it's too uncomfortable to lay down.

Sigh.

This too shall pass.

But for now I'm living on cough drops and jello, chocolate pudding and hot soup. Waiting for my head to clear, my nose to drain, the fire in my throat to subside so I can go back to being me.

resisting change

I used to be a creature of habit.

A focused machine.

I'd set a goal and damn it, no matter what, I made sure I got to where I wanted to go.

These days, not so much.

40 days of daily writing petered out at 10. Or maybe 11. I wasn't keeping track the way I used to.

Sigh.

And so, I'm starting today.

Today is day one.

I'm hoping to change, at least a bit, back into who and let go, at least a bit, of who I've become.

a change I'm hoping won't come (11)

I'm waiting for this presidential debate to start.

Nervously. Anxiously.

With dread.

Sigh.

The potential changes that are inevitable should Trump win make my skin crawl. My stomach turn.

His enmity, his narcissism, his egotism, his anti-intellectualism, his hate mongering, his disdain for just about everyone would all bring changes of the most negative, fatalistic kind.

I'm hoping instead this country comes together to stay the course.

Not change would be the best outcome in this nightmare scenario.

Well, not really no change. Hillary kind of change.

Women supporting, equal opportunity, make this country even better sort of change.

I'm fine with those changes.

And would be honored to call her President.

changes (10): they're not all good

Change of seasons can stump me when it comes to fashion.

Some days I nail it - quirk, funk, edgy, eclectic. Boots, dresses, scarves, colors all come together for something unique and different.

Other days, not even close.

Today was one of the latter.

My too big jeans didn't look cool. Instead they screamed = shlumpy and saggy.

A belt wouldn't have helped.

Turns out I didn't love my new Love Trumps Hate shirt.

My favorite fall jacket looked sad and worn, not hip and retro.

The lavender flower I pinned to many lapels, looked like a haphazard afterthought.

After walking too long in my new Frye boots, my poor feet could only handle beaten up Birkenstocks.

My hair? We don't have to go there.

Sigh.

Today nothing was coming together.

The crisp fall morning that would usually challenge me, instead left me lost.

But tomorrow there's a good chance I'll be back in the fashion saddle.

=

changes 9.0: late nights in the big city

I'm heading out to a show.

It starts at 10:30pm.

There was a mix up with the tickets.

We were supposed to see the 8pm seating.

I'm always happier with the early option.

I'm not a late night person.

Daylight, early mornings, routines make me much more comfortable.

And yet, hear I am, about to start an evening.

Yes, I know that for many this is on the early side.

But to me it's late. And that's a change I'm working on being ok with.

Not sure it's a good one. We'll see how it goes.