Scott De Buitléir's Blog, page 7

Bliain, Turais, agus Dánta Nua

Tá mé díreach tar éis teacht abhaile go hÉirinn i ndiaidh deireadh seachtaine a chaitheamh le mo pháirtnéir agus roinnt dá theaghlach i bPorto na Portaingéile. Ba í mo chéad uair í sa chathair áirithe sin, ach is minic a thug mé cuairt chun na Portaingéile le mo pháirtnéir chun cúpla lá saor a thógáil ón ngnáthshaol in Éirinn. An uair seo, chuir Porto iontas agus gliondar orm, mar ní rabhas ag súil le háilleacht na hailtireachta, an dea-atmaisféar ar na sráideanna agus an dea-aimsir freisin. Bíonn iontas orm le gach aon turas a thógann muid sa Phortaingéil, agus ba cheart dom níos mó a fhoghlaim faoin gcultúr agus an teanga s’acu.

Tá seal caite agam i San Diego sa mhí seo freisin, áit a bhfuil clú agus cáil air mar áit, nach bhfaigheann ach cúpla lá báisteach in aghaidh na bliana. Bhuel, chonaic mise ceithre lá báisteach sa chathair sin, le haimsir a bhí níos cosúla leis an gCabhán ná California. Fós, bhí sé suimiúil tuilleadh ama a chaitheamh i Meiriceá, ach bheinn sásta fanacht san Eoraip go dtí an Samhradh ar a luaithe.

Ó bhí mé in Albain (an uair dheireanach agus blog scríofa agam, ‘Dhiabhail!) bhí sos deas agam um Nollag, agus cúpla turas thar lear ar nós California agus na Portaingéile. Beidh go leor taistil romham sa bhliain nua freisin, idir imeachtaí oibre agus laethanta saoire leis féin, mar a déarfá. Táim ag an staid seo anois i mo shaol, nuair atá slí beatha agam a bhí á thastáil uaim le fada.

Idir na heitiltí agus na bronntanais Nollag, bhí go leor deiseanna agam beagán scríbhneoireacht a dhéanamh, freisin. Tá roinnt mhaith filíochta úir cumtha agam le déanaí, a bheidh mar chuid de mo chéad chnuasach eile, Elysium, a bhfuil fonn orm a sheoladh roimh dheireadh na bliana seo. I gcomparáid le Fás | Growth, beidh na dánta sa dara chnuasach seo go hiomlán dátheangach, agus táim ag súil go mór leis na dánta nua seo a bhailiú le chéile, leis an chéad chéim eile a thaispeáint don domhan mór. Tá seans ann fosta chun tionscadal filíochta a dhéanamh leis an bhfile Sasanach, Marcas Mac an Tuairneir, níos déanaí i mbliana, ach tá muid ag obair ar na sonraí beaga go fóill.

Tá go leor ar siúl i mo shaol féin, fosta. Thug mé detox ó na meáin shóisialta, a d’éirigh le bheith ina makeover. Bhí mé ag éirí braon de bheith (beagáinín) róthrom ó thaobh meáchain de, agus thit mo chuid féin-mhuiníne mar gheall air. Ní cheapaim go bhfuilim gránna, per se, ach tuigim gur féidir liom a bheith i bhfad níos aclaí, agus cúram ceart a thabhairt dom féin. Tá tús ceart curtha agam leis sin, agus mé ag rith leis na Frontrunners Cork anois. Agus mé thar lear (mar a bhí cheana féin in Eanáir), is féidir liom rith liom féin, ach táim chun sár-iarracht a dhéanamh rith leis na leaids i gCorcaigh agus mé sa bhaile, mar is iontach an grúpa iad.

Tá mo shaol difriúil go leor sna laethanta seo ná mar a bhí sé nuair a bhí Dialann Scott á scríobh agam mar dhéagóir, nó nuair a bhí mé ag iarraidh mé féin a ‘chur amach ansin’ ar an stáitse mar chraoltóir. Ach anois, ag (beagnach) 31, nílim á dhéanamh sin, agus níl aon fhonn orm, ach an oireadh. Táim an-shásta chun post (ar aoibhinn liom!) a dhéanamh, mo shaol a roinnt le mo ghrá geal, éalú thar lear gach uair ar féidir liom, agus an corr-phíosa scríbhneoireachta/filíochta a dhéanamh pé uair a bhuaileann an fonn orm.

Níl an chéad mhí den mbliain críochnaithe againn, fiú, ach táim cinnte go leor go mbeidh mé níos sásta le mo shaol i mbliana. Agus, táim ag tnúth leis an gcruthaíocht, leis an taisteal, agus leis an áthas atá romham. Tá súil agam go mbeidh tusa sásta, freisin – pé áit ina bhfuil tú ar an domhan agus i do shaol.

Gay Gaeldom Returns: Poetry and Plans

Last weekend, my partner & I travelled to Edinburgh from Cork to take part in an event organised by Scottish Gaelic poet, Marcas Mac an Tuairneir, and the University of Edinburgh’s Highland Society as part of the Scottish capital’s festival for Gaelic language and culture, Seachdain na Gàidhlig.

The theme of the event was LGBT poetry in two of the three Gaelic languages, Gaeilge and Gàidhlig. Being gay, of course, is only one part of me, but being a gay writer in a minority language means that I’m part of not just one minority community, but two. The same goes for Marcas, although we are by no means the first LGBT writers in either Gaelic language. Regardless, Na Balaich Aighearach | Na Buachaillí Aeracha (literally, ‘the gay boys‘) saw Marcas and I read our poetry in Irish, Scottish Gaelic, and English, with a few songs by Marcas and my good friend, Alison Ní Dhorchaidhe.

As Alison and I were a little late to the event (“typical Irish timing”, as Marcas aptly put it!) we had little time to prepare or compare our chosen poems, and yet common themes clearly appeared during our performance. I read two separate poems, Oíche ar an gCé and Mångata (a poem in English, despite its Swedish title), in which I touched on showing affection to a love interest away from broad daylight or public eye. This theme was reflected in some of Marcas’ poetry also, showing common experiences and subtle inequalities still experienced by LGBT people. We also read poems that touched on Armistice Day and soldiers, with the 100th anniversary of the end of World War One taking place the following day, as well as national identities and relationships – all part of an overall expression of identity and finding oneself, but told through the eyes of gay writers.

Aside from the poetry, it was wonderful to take part in a Gaelic-language event, and to see the language alive and well in Scotland’s capital. I studied Scottish Gaelic for a semester while doing my undergrad at UCD, and while I didn’t pay much attention to it then, I’ve since travelled to the gorgeous Scottish Highlands, as well as visiting Edinburgh a handful of times, to see the language ‘in action’. The state of the language and its community of speakers are in a different situation to Irish, and yet there is an energy to its younger and urban speakers, which gives me hope for a’ Ghàidhlig. At one particular point near the end of the event, Marcas sang the Gaelic song, Canan nan Gaidheal, which even my partner noted brought a warm atmosphere to the event, giving the impression that both Irish and Scottish Gaelic speakers were one community.

I must admit also, that Marcas himself was something of an inspiration to me. His passion for Gaelic, poetry, and pushing his writing ‘out there’ through various publications and competitions is something that I’ve done at times, but not with his seemingly consistent effort. While I do take part in the occasional literary event, and have two books published, I consider my writing as a creative outlet which is – first and foremost – for myself. I use writing as a form of releasing built-up thoughts and emotions, and sometimes as a form of self-therapy. Still, Marcas’ enthusiasm has encouraged me to write more, and with renewed purpose. We discussed the idea of a publishing a literary pamphlet in Irish, Scottish Gaelic, and English, and hopefully this will be a good project for 2019.

Finally, I’d like to say “Mòran taing” or many thanks to Marcas, Drew MacNaughton, and the rest of the organisers for inviting me to read in Edinburgh and be part of the Edinburgh Gaelic Festival. I returned to Ireland with a re-energised sense of being part of the wider Gaelic (or even Celtic) community, and hope to take part a little more in future. Míle buíochas daoibh go léir.

Featured image by Comann Ceilteach Oilthigh Dhùn Èideann

Editor’s Letter: A Date with Castro’s History

EILE Magazine

EILE’s Founder and Editor-at-Large, Scott De Buitléir, writes from San Francisco, where a trip to the popular Castro District revealed a deep-rooted and valuable history lesson worth cherishing. 

The Californian Sun shone brightly upon the colourful streets of Castro as my partner and I walked along Market Street towards the famous gay neighbourhood.

Truth be told, I knew little about San Francisco before I arrived there as part of our annual two-week ‘big holiday’, where we’d usually spend a week each in two different locations. The previous week was spent in British Columbia; exploring beautiful Vancouver and spending Canadian Thanksgiving with my father’s cousins in Victoria, the province’s capital on Vancouver Island. For San Francisco, I knew little more than about Alcatraz, the Golden Gate Bridge, Lombard Street, and Castro; the world-renowned gay village that was once home to Harvey Milk. 

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Poetry Reading at Edinburgh Gaelic Festival

Tha mi a’ tighinn air ais gu h-Alba an t-Samhain seo! 

Or in English: I’m coming back to Scotland this November!

I’m delighted to be performing some of my poetry alongside another great poet, Marcas Mac an Tuairneir, as part of the Edinburgh Gaelic Festival.

Similar to our own Seachtain na Gaeilge festival, the Edinburgh Gaelic Festival (or ‘Seachdain na Gàidhlig’) celebrates Scottish Gaelic literature, music, and culture in Scotland’s most beautiful city. I’ve been to Edinburgh twice before, and both times have been a treat for the soul. To return a third time to take part in this festival will hopefully be no exception!

The name of the event is “Na Balaich Aighearach | Na Buachaillí Aeracha“, noting the fact that both Marcas and I are LGBT poets, writing in our respective Gaelic languages. Undoubtedly, being part of not just one minority, but two (the LGBT and Irish/Gaelic-language communities) is a theme that both of us have explored in our writing, but I’ll be interested to see the differences in our styles and topics, also.

Similar to myself, Marcas has been published a few times already, with his poetry collections, Deò, and Lus na Tùise. My own EILE Magazine reviewed his début collection, Deò, where his poem Sluagh-Ghairm (Battlecry) received particular praise for its power and style.

The event takes place on Saturday, November 10, at the Waverley Bar on St. Mary’s Street (EH1 1TA) from 8pm. Entry is free, and the event will be presented in a mixture of Scottish Gaelic, Irish, and English. I also hope to have some copies of my début poetry collection, Fás | Growth, available for sale at the event – airplane luggage restrictions permitting! If you’re interested in attending and are on Facebook, it would be great if you check out the Facebook event page.

 

On Nobility

Nobility is neither a distant claim to a castle, nor an old-fashioned trait of society. It is, instead, the ability within us all to act with grace, tolerance, and a warm heart. It is in knowing such actions, however small, may inspire another to do good. That power to inspire is more powerful than any crown or title, for it is a royalty accessible to all.

The Dilemma of a Has-Been Blogger

Following the little Twitter reaction from my last update, I decided to put myself through something a little uncomfortable today. Not walking over hot coals, not admitting some horrible trauma or social issue, but something that just I haven’t liked to do.

I don’t know what to ‘do’ online anymore. 

If you’re bothered enough to read this written form of my internal dilemma, then be prepared for some possible self-indulgence and/or unchecked (or already self-aware) privilege. Still, continue if you dare.

There was a time when I wrote almost daily. I had a blog that somehow got nominated a few times for an Irish Blog Award, wrote from everything from a day out with friends to hard-hitting articles on LGBT issues to Irish-language debates. Those topics once defined me, I pinned my identity to them, and I guess I got noticed as a result.

That started when I was a teenager; I started Dialann Scott as a way to practice my Irish writing outside of the typical school homework tasks. Fast forward a few years, and I mixed my writing with my interest in the media to appear in various Irish-language newspapers and on some radio shows. I had the free time and energy to be creative, but with no regular job, I still lived at home. While I was hoping to be found and made into some D-list Irish celebrity (without knowing exactly what I’d be a celebrity for), my peers were moving on with their new careers, moving out of home, and getting out into the real world.

Once I caught up, the blogging started to die off. I managed to keep up the poetry, which thankfully eventually culminated in the publication of Fás | Growth, but that took ten years of the occasional poem. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still proud of it and The Irish Outlander, but I’m aware that the drive to blog is no longer there, now that I’ve started my thirties, complete with day job, live-in boyfriend, and new home in a different city.

So, in that sense, you’d think that I’ve loads to write about. Maybe I do, but if I were to be completely honest (and here come’s the uncomfortable part), I think I don’t blog because I don’t care. About anything, really, anymore.

I have my life, my friends, my happiness, my man, and I’m happy. Genuinely happy, more than I have been in years, if not ever. If I can take a Queer Eye style moment of self-appreciation, I love who I’ve become and how I’ve learned from the trials and tribulations of my twenties to come through stronger, wiser, and hopefully a little better as a person. Despite all that, however, I rarely think of anything important or moving enough in my life to write/blog about.

Also, maybe this is an Irish thing, but I no longer think I’m important enough to be blathering about my life; who really cares about some gay guy who writes a bit and used to be on the radio?

And therein lies the dilemma; part of me misses having an active platform, and a brand associated with it (despite that brand always being a little rough around the edges). The other part of me thinks I should’ve left the stage ages ago, and crept away into the darkness, like some anonymous online comments used to suggest. 

One programme I’ve really loved lately is Queer Eye, which reminds us all to love who we are, what our natural talents are, and to put our best foot forward as much as we can, both for the sake of ourselves, and our loved ones. It’s advice that we all know, on the surface, but somehow find difficult to internalise. I’ve definitely tried to pick up some styling tips, and carry myself (hopefully) well enough during my day-to-day business, but I’ve noticed that online, I don’t know who I am, or who I’m supposed to be.

Part of me still wants to be that respected figure of being a writer/journalist/former broadcaster (complete with a no-foul-language approach to their tweets), but part of me wants to be one of those ‘Twitter gays’; the kind that curse online, post selfies of gym progress (yes, I realise I’d have to go to a gym for that first, shut up) and throw shade like it’s a native language.

I’m kind of jealous of those guys, and yet, I know well that I’m not ‘that’ guy. I’m the guy next door who waters his neighbour’s plants, because she’s 84 and does the same for us when we go away for the weekend. I’m the kind of guy who would rather enjoy a trip away with my fella, than annoy him by pushing a camera in his face. I’m the guy who left the chaotic world of media because he was sick of living with Mammy and Daddy, and knew marketing was a more stable option. I’m the guy who says he doesn’t miss invites to media screenings for films, but notices when he doesn’t get an invite from a PR company for events.

I’m 30 years old and feel like a has-been, and yet I once thought I ‘knew’ how to brand myself. The fact is, I haven’t accepted yet that having a normal life doesn’t need a brand.

Still Alive, Just Busy

I’ve not written a lot in a while. Not because I haven’t had time, or energy, but actually because I just haven’t wanted to.

And that’s okay.

I’ve written some stories on Wattpad (which I really like), but since June, I’ve been more preoccupied with more ‘normal’ life. I started a new day-job in the middle of June, and I’ve somewhat had to settle back into 9-to-5 life since my break in April, so that has shifted my priorities a little. Also, making a new home your new home takes time, so I’ve spent some time in settling into Cork life; making friends, going out with the other half, and becoming New Corkonians (while still retaining our Dublin accents, we’re not losing those!).

Scottie goes to Scotland

I’ve been invited by Gaelic poet, Marcas Mac an Tuairneir, to perform some of my poetry with him as part of an event in Edinburgh for Scotland’s Seachdain na Gàidhlig festival. It will be an honour to read my poetry alongside another gay Gaelic-speaking poet, and it’ll be interesting to share our experiences of language, LGBT themes, and new Gaelic literature in such a beautiful city. The provisional date for the performance is Saturday, November 10, but I’ll announce more on social media and here closer to the time.