Cara Natterson's Blog, page 17

Why Teenagers Mix Drinking and Sex

Outstanding article, Lisa Damour - and with the added voice of Peggy Orenstein, Author to boot! I am passing along to my teenage daughter today. Sage advice to not simply believe hype...

Adults should talk with teenagers about drinking. And we should talk with teenagers about sex. But in addition to taking up each of these topics separately, we should also address the fact that adolescents are more likely than adults to combine the two.Common sense suggests, and research confirms, that intoxicated sex can be a bad idea. Of course, underage drinking is illegal; state laws vary on the legality of… READ MORE

Meet the PODiatrician

A few months ago, I received an email from a pediatrician with an invitation to appear on his podcast. While Steve Silvestro was interviewing me, frankly I wanted to turn the tables and start asking my own questions about his approach. He’s both passionate and compassionate, and he’s a next-gen doctor working hard to figure out how to deliver pediatric advice to people all over the country. Check out the podcast we did HERE and read below if you want to learn more about Steve. I got my chance to interview him back…

Who are you and how did you wind up being a pediatrician? READ MORE

Telling Real Stories

How can we bridge the gap between research and storytelling? Dr. Yalda T. Uhls is cracking that code. Yalda, a former exec at MGM and Sony, left the movie world to study child development, earning a PhD in Psychology at UCLA. These days, Yalda wears numerous hats: she’s a professor at UCLA, a researcher on the effect of media on tweens + teens, the author of the book Media Moms and Digital Dads, and the founder of the new Center for Scholars and Storytellers. Every time I am in a room with Yalda I learn something from her, and that happens quite a bit these days since we teach together regularly. For a sense of how Yalda approaches child development, take a look at this blogpost.

Have you ever spoken to a six year old girl? Seemingly the epitome of confidence, the world is her oyster, and she believes she can be anything:An astronaut, A ballet dancer, The President, All at the SAME TIME.Moreover, young girls frequently do better than boys in elementary school, where their abilities to sit still and follow rules often makes their teachers give them plenty of gold stars… The traditional thinking is that young girls’ confidence doesn’t drop… READ MORE 

Yes! A Brilliant Consent Lesson

In case you missed it... then read this post now!

People often ask me how soon is too soon to talk about _________ (fill in that blank with whatever you want, but usually it’s sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll). As far as I’m concerned, it's almost never too early to begin conversations about health and safety.

Consent is the perfect example. Think your 7-year old is too young to understand the concept? Think again, because talking about consent doesn't have to be a conversation about sex. In fact, we consent to dozens of things every day, often as bystanders. We just don't always mentally file these scenarios in the consensual buckets in our brains, especially when they don't involve our bodies directly.

I love this post because it reframes a topic that is in the headlines almost daily. How can parents introduce the concept of consent early, separating it from sex? It’s easier than you think. And if you begin early, by the time these conversations do include intimacy, your kids already understand the principles clearly.

So how do we even begin to talk about consent with our kids? Try this simply awesome initial approach...

Liz Kleinrock has used America's heated discourse on sexual violence as the springboard for lessons on consent for her third graders.Kleinrock, who teaches at Citizens of the World Charter School Silver Lake in Los Angeles, took took to Facebook and Instagram to share the visual aids she uses in her lessons about about consent.She talks about what consent … READ MORE 

Stuff I Like

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I get calls, emails and texts daily asking for product recommendations. From cosmetics to cold meds, vitamins to video games, parents just want to know what’s safe for their kids. Much of the time, it boils down to a simple question: What do you do in your house? So I am adding a feature to the monthly newsletter called Stuff I Like, o know what’s truly worth…READ MORE

Going Gray

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Grayscale is disgusting, and that’s the point.

In case you are already lost a dozen words into this post that’s okay, I didn’t know what grayscale was, either, until just a few days ago. I had heard the term floating around – it definitely sounded familiar – but who has time to learn yet another piece of lingo that may or may not…READ MORE

The Care and Keeping, All Grown Up

This month, The Care and Keeping of You turns 20. The big birthday has been celebrated by some pretty amazing press coverage, like this article and this one, too. I didn’t write the original book, though as I tell everyone I wish I had. But I did have the privilege of updating it, of writing a follow up book for older girls and a mother/daughter book and even a boy book, all rooting from the original text...READ MORE

Teen Tracking

Lisa Damour nails it again! There is no benefit to sneaking a peek into our kids' lives without their knowledge. Because when we do, and then we catch them doing something dangerous/forbidden/illegal/just plain wrong, what leg do we have to stand on?

Years ago I had a mom in my practice who eavesdropped on her kids using hidden nanny cams and found out they were engaging in really bad behavior. At first she felt victorious because she caught them before they went down a dangerous road. But when she went to confront them, she realized she had to admit how she gathered the knowledge, which in turn created a rift in trust for a long time to come. Another patient set up a "designated texter" system with his friends - one teen was responsible for texting parents and checking in, reassuring the adults, while the rest of the kids partied.

There are deep flaws and wide open loopholes in location trackers, text check-ins, and nearly every other remote solution parents devise to make themselves feel better about their kids' safety. Wherever you land on this topic, I strongly encourage you to let your kids in on your choice. This way, they have an opportunity to prove their maturity and, if they do get caught where they aren't supposed to be, they know how you know...

If you want to start a heated debate, ask a group of parents what they think about using technology to track a teenager’s location. Plenty of adults balk at the idea of remotely following an adolescent’s movements, while others question why any loving parent wouldn’t.As the school year gets underway, parents who have just dropped their teenagers off on college campuses may be watching on apps like Life 360 as their freshly minted freshmen try to figure out the best route from dorm to… READ MORE 

You Only Have One Brain

Same goes for your kid. It may be encased in a remarkably strong skull, but the neurons inside need to be treated with respect. Tackle football in middle school, not to mention younger, with its hits and slams and sometimes concussions, doesn't show that brain respect. Neither does tackle football in high school, college, or beyond, but the older brain is a little different and the research not yet as crystal clear. At least according to some… I still worry about those brains of older kids' big time.

I am not suggesting that you push your child to live life in a bubble because that's just as debilitating in an entirely different way. But enrolling him in any activity that causes repeated high-impact head bonks can lead to chronic injury inside the brain, often invisible for years until one day it's not. This is the story of CTE. We cannot ignore it, overlook it, deny it anymore. So this is what you must weigh as you decide whether your son (because it's almost always sons) should play tackle football and if he will, then starting when. And since we, as parents, ultimately sign the forms and enroll our kids in one activity or another, driving them, cheering them on, it is on us to choose to be brain protectors.

Children shouldn’t play tackle football before high school, according to recommendations released Wednesday by the Aspen Institute.Scientists believe children are particularly vulnerable to brain injury in collision sports like football in part because of their still-developing brains, according to a 27-page report on the future of football by the nonpartisan, nonprofit think tank. It recommended that USA Football, Pop Warner, and… READ MORE

I Believe in Do-Overs

Glad to see the FDA is taking one. For a year the agency has been rationalizing why it gave manufacturers of e-cigs an extended deadline to prove they aren't marketing to tweens and teens. Parents, pediatricians, educators and public health advocates all went nuts. Of course they are marketing to youth! The way they flavor, package, advertise on social media... it would take a complete ostrich to not acknowledge that young users were primo targets. The FDA was being that ostrich until today, when it decided to pull it's head out of the sand and make a move. We can criticize the agency's choices or applaud them for the pivot. Don't we all take do-overs as parents? It's okay to give them credit for the shift. They seem to need the encouragement.

FDA Commissioner Scott Gottlieb, MD, declared teen use of electronic cigarettes an "epidemic" and said the agency would be addressing the issue with "the largest coordinated tobacco compliance effort in FDA's history."Actions being considered -- but not yet undertaken -- include the immediate removal of certain flavored e-cigarettes from the market and shortening the time to market review for most cigarettes now being sold. READ MORE