Donald Capone's Blog, page 4

Pocket Kings by Ted Heller, reviewed

Wow. I just finished Ted Heller’s new novel, Pocket Kings, and I’m exhausted. What a ride he takes the reader on! I count Heller among my favorite authors, and it’s hard to believe that it’s been ten years since the publication of his last novel, Funnymen. It was worth the wait. This time Heller takes on the world of online addiction (in this case poker), along with the current state of book publishing.

Pocket Kings, written in first-person, dumps you headfirst into the increasingly fucked-up life of narrator Frank W. Dixon, also known as his online poker persona, Chip Zero. Frank works at a boring, meaningless job after his first two novels didn’t sell well. He’s got another book completed, but his agent can’t sell it. Frank feels like a failure as an author, but soon discovers one thing that he is great at: online poker. Besides winning loads of money, he forges relationships with other online poker players. But are they real friends, or even real people? People can be whoever they want to be online. And is it ever a good idea to meet these people in real life? Probably not.

Heller never lets his lead character off easy. Which can be a hard trick to pull off when writing in first person (this novel is written as if it’s a memoir, which in itself is a spoof of all the embellished “memoirs” that have been published in the last decade). Here, we get to see Frank/Chip tell us firsthand what he’s thinking, his rationalizations, his insecurities, and yes, his hopes and dreams. We cheer for his successes as much as we cringe at some of his actions, especially the ones we know will hurt his loving and supportive wife, Cynthia.

As Frank/Chip’s success and winnings increase in poker, so do his frustrations as an author, of not getting published and becoming one of the darlings of the critics, the next Franzen, or Eggers, or Chabon (or as Frank refers to them, Jonathan David Safran Franzlethchabeggars). Frank often lapses into revenge fantasies against anyone who has rejected his writing, or who he sees as a roadblock to getting published again. Here he fantasizes about resurrecting his writing career by punching out a famous author and getting some free publicity:

“In lieu of the aforementioned Jonathans and Davids, I could punch out an old coot like Phillip Roth or Joyce Carol Oates and hopefully not kill them. Or I could take on a career-dead writer like Marty Amis or Sal Rushdie, both of whom could use the publicity, too.

But Joyce Carol Oates once wrote a book about boxing and could probably beat me up.”

Frank’s online life and his real life cannot be kept separate for long, and the results when the two meet are funny, sad, and disturbing, and have a lot to say about modern addiction and “quiet desperation,” or as Frank says about himself, “deafeningly not quiet.” Pocket Kings barrels along full steam right up to the end, which is unexpected, satisfying, and makes perfect sense. Frank/Chip is an honest, reliable narrator of this “memoir,” and his outlook on life and his brutally honest opinion of himself is hysterical. Ted Heller is one funny guy. I sincerely hope this novel is a hit, if for no other selfish reason than I won’t have to wait ten years for the next one.

Side note: I’m not a poker player, and don’t know much about it, but I didn’t need to. Heller’s descriptions made sense and I never found it boring or distracting (in fact, it made me want to play online poker).

5 Stars

Chomp, reviewed

In Chomp, his latest YA novel, Hiaasen introduces us to teenage lead character Wahoo Cray, and his father Mickey, who is an animal wrangler—animals such as snakes, alligators, and monkeys. Wahoo’s family is struggling financially, and his mother takes a temp job in China to help pay the bills. When a well-paying TV job pops up, Mickey’s father reluctantly accepts. Reluctantly, because the job is working on the popular reality TV show Expedition Survival!, which includes not just handling animals, but also handling the show’s pompous star Derek Badger.

Hiassen’s wacky humor gets put to good use skewing both reality television and the pampered stars who begin to believe their own hype. Badger gets it in his head that he wants to shoot the next episode in the Florida Everglades, and use actual wild animals, not the tame ones owned and wrangled by Mickey Cray. Problem is, Badger only plays a survivalist on television—he can’t actually, you know, survive in the wild. And that’s the situation he finds himself in when a storm hits during filming, not to mention that the wild animals are actually acting wild and chomping on Badger seemingly at will. When Badger runs off in the middle of the night in a fevered delusion of turning into a vampire (Hiaasen gets to poke fun at the teen vampire craze here), it sets off a man hunt that eventually involves the local police.

There is a side plot that involves a female friend of Wahoo’s (named Tuna) who runs away to the Everglades with the Crays to get away from her drunk, abusive father. When her gun-toting father comes looking for her, it throws a monkey wrench into the search for the missing Badger.

Wahoo and his father are both very likable characters that the reader can root for. Frankly I’d like to see more of the father in future novels; along with Wahoo’s friend Tuna, it makes for the start of what can be a series, if Hiaasen choses to go that route. Wahoo’s mother is sort of missing in action here, however. We get a few phone calls from her, and we know she is close to and loves her son and husband, but she isn’t much of a factor. I wondered why she was in the novel, except to possibly set up the storyline for sequels. (It couldn’t have just been to make the point that American jobs are moving overseas, could it?)

All in all, Chomp is a fun, fast read that I enjoyed. I’ve had my eye on Hiaasen’s other YA books, but never got around to them. Now I will.

4 stars

nineleven, FREE for Kindle on 4/11/12

The Kindle version of my short story nineleven will be available for FREE on Wednesday, April 11th.

A man deals with the loss of his wife on 9/11.

The author writes with a creative and lively style. The gritty, raw voice of the character Chuck in the first story (nineleven) pulled me in right away, and I couldn't stop reading.
—Writer's Digest Magazine contest judge

Into the Sunset, FREE on 3/30/12

The Kindle version of my comic novel Into the Sunset will be available for FREE on Friday, March 30th. Grab it while you can!

WHEN a thirty year-old bachelor disguises himself as an old man to live in The Sunset, a retirement community, will everything go as smoothly as planned? Of course not! His elderly love interest becomes suspicious of his under-cover-of-darkness-only lovemaking, his neighbor wants to experiment with Viagra®, the head of security is more interested in extortion than security, and the woman who runs the community may be on to his scheme. Can Wayne survive old age?

"Capone has a vivid imagination and a unique voice."
—Romantic Times Book Review Magazine

"Capone’s Into the Sunset is entertaining comedy at its best. Even the madcap premise makes you laugh. I admired Capone’s plot... Each puzzle piece fits together perfectly by the novel’s end."
—Donna George Storey, author of Amorous Woman

Driving Mr. Yogi

The title Driving Mr. Yogi comes from the the fact that Ron Guidry, former Yankees ace of the 70s and 80s, fell into the routine of picking up Hall of Fame catcher Yogi Berra from the airport at the start of Spring Training in 1999 when Berra returned to the Yankees family after ending a bitter feud with owner George Steinbrenner. That routine has lasted to this day. Not only does Guidry drive Mr. Berra around, but he takes care of the elderly Yankees legend, dining with him, making sure he gets to the ballpark on time, etc. This closeness over the years has developed into a sort of father/son relationship of love and trust. And neither one of them would want it any other way.

Driving Mr. Yogi is reminiscent of Teammates by David Halberstam which chronicled the road trip Johnny Pesky and Dom DiMaggio took to see their old friend Ted Williams for possibly the last time at his home in Florida. Like that book, Driving Mr. Yogi is about friendship. Not only the friendship that has developed between the different-generation Yankees, Guidry and Berra, but the friendships that they forged with their teammates over the years, the special bonds that world champion athletes share. With Driving Mr. Yogi, we get a taste of that, and get to share some of their old stories and inside jokes.

Author Harvey Araton originally wrote an article about this subject for the New York Times, and has now expanded it into a book. We get to know more about the private life of Ron Guidry, his Louisiana roots, and his flair for cooking frog legs. We get to know a little more about the legendary Yogi Berra too, but mostly we are reminded of how important he is to the world of baseball (and not just the Yankees). He is a living bridge to old-time baseball. This is a man who played alongside DiMaggio, Mantle, Ford, and Elston Howard. He played against Ted Williams, Roy Campanella, and Jackie Robinson. He had his photo taken with Babe Ruth! We are reminded that he is, indeed, a treasure.

You don’t have to be a Yankees fan to enjoy and appreciate Driving Mr. Yogi. If you love baseball, the nostalgia of it, and the respect players have for each other, then you’ll enjoy this book.

4 stars

New Ted Heller novel on the way!

The long wait is nearly over! I just pre-ordered Ted Heller's new novel, Pocket Kings from Amazon (pub date March 27). This is Heller's third novel, following the funny and cutting satire of New York publishing Slab Rat, and the ambitious, funny Funnymen (2002), a fictionalized version of a Martin/Lewis-type comedy team.

Here is the description of the new novel:

In this dead-on satire of online obsessions, a novelist with writer’s block finds a new—and very lucrative—stream of income in a virtual world that appears to give him everything he lacks in the real world.

When Frank Dixon, a frustrated writer who has seen his career crash and burn, decides to dabble in online poker, he discovers he has a knack for winning. In this newfound realm, populated by alluring characters—each of them elusive, mysterious, and glamorous—he becomes a smash success: popular, rich, and loved. Going by the name Chip Zero, he sees his fortunes and romantic liaisons thrive in cyberspace while he remains blind to the fact that his real life is sinking. His online success, however, does not come without complications, as he comes to realize that his “virtual” friends and lovers are, in fact, very real, and one rival player is not at all happy that Mr. Zero has taken all his money.

Sounds good! Look for my review here and/or on Amazon beginning of April.

Sacre Bleu, by Christopher Moore

The heart of Sacre Bleu is mystery. It starts with Vincent van Gogh's mysterious death--always believed to be suicide--and Moore uses this as a jumping off point for what might be the real mystery of the novel: what inspires painters to paint? Why do they sacrifice so much for their art? What is their inspiration, their muse? The lead character is a young baker and aspiring painter named Lucien, who along with his friend, the painter Henri Toulouse-Lautrec, set out to find out what really happened to van Gogh. What they encounter along the way is a strange figure known only as The Colorman, who somehow controls artists with his special blue paint, known as Sacre Bleu, and a woman, Juliette--the love of Lucien's life--who may be the biggest mystery of all.

I've been a fan of Christopher Moore since the beginning. There's is an everyday man quality about his books, they don't take themselves too seriously, and you can tell Moore had fun writing them (well, he makes himself laugh, I bet. The actual writing is hard work). Moore's humor--his silliness--comes across to the reader. No matter what the subject, his fans can always count on his silly humor to break through, especially in the character's banter. Lucien and Toulouse-Lautrec are fabulous characters together, especially the bawdy, womanizing (harlotizing?), party animal Toulouse-Lautrec. Moore also does a great job of bringing the secondary historical characters/painters to life. (A neat addition to the novel is the inclusion of the actual works of art being discussed by the characters [of course the captions are funny lines of dialogue from the novel], which brings the reader further into the world of 1890s Paris art.)

The thing I admire about Moore is, though he's found a niche for himself with his comic/horror/supernatural novels, he hasn't locked himself into one particular realm. He could have stuck to writing funny vampire novels and been successful at that. Instead, he challenges himself to tackle other subjects--sacred subjects at that—like Shakespeare, religion, and now art, specifically the Impressionists of late 19th Century France. This might be Moore's most mature work yet. Yes, there is still his trademark fantastical element present, and his wacky humor. But the writing, the depth of the characters, and Moore's obvious appreciation of the art (and the heart and soul that went into creating the paintings) shines through.

4 stars

Humpty Dumpty story free today 2/18/12

My short story After the Fall is now available for the Kindle for FREE. Today, Saturday, Feb. 18th. Grab it while you can! It was originally published by Kinglake Publishing in their 2010 anthology, Ten Modern Stories of 2010 (ISBN13: 9781907690051).

What is Humpty Dumpty up to these days? I'll tell you, that egg is living a hard life, his former existence shattered beyond repair. Where did it all go wrong? he wonders as he drinks in his favorite pub. Well, it all went wrong when he climbed atop that damned wall, of course!

This edition contains an author's note on what inspired me to write the story.

Warning To Authors Who Have Used iUniverse

I published a paperback novel with iUniverse in 2007, then made a Kindle version myself in 2009. Last year, someone from iUniverse contacted me and asked if I wanted them to create a Kindle version of my book. I told them "No," as I had already done it. So I was surprised today when I came across an iUniverse-created Kindle version on Amazon for sale for $3.99. (I have my version listed for 99¢.)

I logged onto my iUniverse account to unpublish their version. I couldn't. Now I was pissed. The point of self-publishing is to give the author control over his or her work. iUniverse took that control away from me. They made a Kindle version after I told them not to, and set a price that I would not have agreed upon. So, you're probably thinking, what's the big deal. You're still getting royalties, right? Well, yes.

But what if I had set a higher price on my version, and iUniverse basically undercut me? (Or even the same price for that matter. Amazon offers a higher royalty rate.) Not to mention, they took the manuscript from the paperback version of the book published 4 1/2 years ago. What if I had revised it since then? Even if it was just to fix some typos?

So I called the customer service number and after complaining to the woman who answered, she said I should email customer service. This is what I sent. No response yet.


customerservice@iuniverse.com
To whom it may concern,

Please IMMEDIATELY unpublish the Kindle ebook version of my novel, Into the Sunset (9780595894406). Kindle #B006WPZK9S $3.99. I was contacted by iUniverse a year or so ago, and specifically said DO NOT make a Kindle version since I already did. So I was shocked to discover today that iUniverse went ahead anyway and made a Kindle version. Why? I said no. PLEASE DELETE IMMEDIATELY.

And another thing that I am furious about: There is no way for me to delete this book myself when I log into my iUniverse account. This is outrageous. Why are you taking control out of the hands of the authors? If this book is not deleted in the next 24 hours, I will also pull the paper version from your company and publish it with Amazon's Createspace.

I will also blog about this and alert other authors on as many writers sites as I can. This is outrageous and you will continue to lose business with practices like this.

Donald Capone

UPDATE: I called back when I didn't receive a response to my email. I was transferred to a woman in production who immediately put in a request to Amazon that the book be removed. She said it would take a couple of days for Amazon to update their site. I checked this morning (Feb. 3) and the iUniverse Kindle version of my book has been deleted.

Humpty Dumpty short story

My short story After the Fall is now available for the Kindle for only 99¢. It was originally published by Kinglake Publishing in their 2010 anthology, Ten Modern Stories of 2010 (ISBN13: 9781907690051).

What is Humpty Dumpty up to these days? I'll tell you, that egg is living a hard life, his former existence shattered beyond repair. Where did it all go wrong? he wonders as he pounds down the drinks in his favorite pub. Well, it all went wrong when he climbed atop that damned wall, of course!

This edition contains an author's note on what inspired me to write the story.