Vitra Singh's Blog, page 7

Vitch Session 2: Three Startup Mistakes I Made that You Can Learn From

I started up a business several years ago right out of grad school – no business experience, no work experience in the vertical I was focusing on, and not a “numbers” person at all.

My eCommerce start-up failed.

I would not change a thing because I have taken those lessons learned through not succeeding and kept them at the forefront of current endeavors.

In this video, I discuss the three things I should have done – or as the case may be, should have done better.  For those of you currently pursuing or thinking of starting your own business, I would strongly encourage you to do a little research on these three items as they will keep you on track, confident, and structured.

What have been your biggest business failures/successes?

 

Dating and Relationship Advice from a Male Coach

Doing dating right can be a challenge for men and women who just want to meet “the right one.” Diving in haphazardly without stopping to think about what you are looking for, qualities that are essential, and how to bring up some tough talk can hurt more than help.

Male Dating & Relationship coach, Jeremi McManus, gave me an in-depth perspective into the psychology of dating, and I, thus, share with you. Here is the start of our interview in Q&A format to ensure you don’t miss a thing!

Vitra: What’s the biggest dating mistakes women tend to make?

McManus: The biggest thing for women, which is also one of the biggest things for men, is missing out on opportunity.  An example of that ishyper-selectivity because many times we limit ourselves to what we are looking for in a partner and mate.  As a result, people end up with a very small pool of eligible-ness.  We might get online and click all the things to filter out people you think might not be a good fit.  Also, seeing a picture and saying they don’t look like a fit, looking at an online profile and seeing a grammatical error and thinking he’s not well educated.

What happens socially is usually the total opposite of that.  You meet someone socially and you think they are really cool. Hyper-selectivity often gets in the way of us taking advantage of opportunities.

One of the biggest things I talk about with the clients I work with is taking the Yes stance or the open stance – give it a shot.  Go to mixers, speed dating, get introduced, have fun.  Go out and get a little bit of practice, because ultimately what we are doing is preparing ourselves for the person we’re going to meet and spend the rest of our lives with.

Vitra: Are there any tips for those who are nervous and feel awkward in social situations?

Jeremi: On one side there’s the expectation in our culture that the man needs to pursue the woman which isn’t always how it has to play out. But it’s rooted in our old DNA.  What that means for men is that it requires them to put themselves out there and take a little more risk in social situations. Anytime you go into a social situation, you are not looking to meet the woman of your dreams, you’re looking to do somepractice, towards what I call “running a marathon” that is often a relationship.

Being in a relationship is incredibly challenging and the dating part of things is the practice that gets us ready for that relationship down the road.  So using the marathon analogy, you wouldn’t start with the full race – you would practice with mini races leading up to that.  So if someone is socially anxious – that’s a great setting to hire a wing-man, or try to do something less daunting like a mixer.  One of my favorite approaches is the situational approach. For instance, if you’re in a coffee shop you might say “They have really good coffee here, what are you drinking?” or “It’s a gorgeous day out, how’s your Wednesday going so far?,” so you’re really connecting with the person.

And for the woman, since often she’s not in the pursuer or chaser role, I tell women to present themselves or dress in a way that makes them feel sexy, because that’s going to allow them to feel a little more confident and ready to meet someone.  And in a social situation, if they catch the eye of someone they may be interested in, try to have a little smile in their face, a little warmth.  Just notice him for a quick second, give them a smile, and then go back to what you are doing because that lets the guy know you are interested and it helps to lower his fear about coming over and approaching her.

Vitra: For a woman who’s serious about a long term relationship, how can she tell is a guy is “ready” or “interested”?

Jeremi: There are at least two schools of thought on this.  One says you need to find out as much as possible as soon as possible to root out who’s not going to work.  My concern with that is scaring off the other person too soon because you’re talking about if they want three kids on the first date.

I recommend to start finding out about the non-negotiable things fairly quickly.  The non-negotiable things are things you require inside the relationship.  Find out what they are and see if your partner does or does not possess them.  As to when, I suggest a 2-4 date window as a really nice time-frame.   If you start with 20 questions on the first date, it can be too much.

First date should be something lighthearted to see if there’s attraction, and the next few dates may be longer, where you can bring up things you would like to find out about. Slip those into conversation at some point.  And one way to do it that is less direct is talking about an ‘as if’ situation. You might say “If you do the whole wife and kids thing have you thought about how many you’re going to have?” That is a lot less direct than, “How many kids are we going to have?”

Don’t let it [dating] go too long before doing this.  If you are more than a month into the relationship and there are still some things you are unsure of or don’t know, you start getting attached and there’s only a finite amount of time in this life.  In a 30-day period you really have to try to find out if this guy has these key qualities you want or don’t want.

Vitra: Modern day women are often asking if men should still be paying and taking charge. What are your thoughts?

Jeremi: I think chivalry is not dead – that’s what I share with the men I work with.  I think there is wisdom and generosity in the man providing for the woman.  It is nice for a guy to treat her for dinner, make plans, get doors.  I coach the men to be chivalrous. Keep the first date cheap – maybe grab coffee and of course, get that for her.  On the second date there’s probably an activity around that and then dinner. At that point say “I would love to get the check.”  I think it’s polite for the woman to offer, but the guy should pick it up and add a compliment along with it like “It’s a pleasure to spend time with you.”   When you get around to date three or four, that can be a good place for the woman to say “You’ve gotten it the last few times, let me get this.” This shows the guy she’s willing to contribute and offer and give in a way that he’s willing to.  It allows a nice shared sense of being generous to each other. Treat your woman.

Vitra: What are signs that a man is ready for a long-term relationship?

Jeremi: It doesn’t have to do with maturity or even age.  I think before you’re 20-25 it’s wise not to get into something serious and long term.  In a time-frame that’s appropriate for the relationship look for ways to see if the guy is ready to commit.

I think 30 days is a nice window to get to know each other and then after the 30 days, 1 month, 6 months – everyone is different – talk about exclusivity.  And in having conversations like that you can weed out people who don’t want to commit or settle down.  And what’s hard is that if they are not ready to commit, it’s often a commentary on where they are at or a lack of a fit—not a commentary on who you are.

Vitra: Is it true that women want to get chased?

Jeremi: Women do want to get chased.  Every woman appreciates some kind of pursuit  and for the man, that means expressing his interest, calling instead of texting,  letting her know she’s a priority, being responsive to her and her needs.  Often times what is perceived as playing games is avoidance.

Vitra: What do men like?

Jeremi: Men like to chase…this has been how things have gone for thousands of years – with some degree of him chasing her.  And the reason women say “I feel really loved, really sexy, cared for…” is when he’s pursuing or making effort to spend time, or buying dinner, because she’s being chased.  And men like the opportunity that women give them to do some of the pursuing.

Vitra: What are some No-No’s for women?

Jeremi: Don’t be aggressive. For some women it’s working on being receptive because it creates space for guy to enjoy being the pursuer and for women to be pursued. I’m speaking in generalizations because everyone is unique.  A guy has to be assertive and that’s his work.  Her work is allowing him to call, take the initiative and make plans and allowing him to be the pursuer.  It is important she give a big kudos when he’s being the pursuer and doing or providing things for her.

Vitra: What if a woman does all this and never hears back from a guy?

Jeremi: View it as checking one more off your list of someone who’s not going to work.  There’s a pool as a woman and there’s going to be a certain number guys you have to check off your list…so it’s a good thing if you let him pursue and he doesn’t reciprocate.  As much as it sucks in that moment to not get a call or text back, something I remind people I work with is how awesome they are and there are plenty of fish in the sea, so get out there.

Vitra: How does one get over being dumped?

Jeremi: Don’t Facebook stalk your ex cause it sucks – it activates you and makes you feel crappy.  I would suggest let go as much contact with your ex as possible, and be explicit about it until you’ve healed. Self-care is important, call your girlfriends, do things you didn’t get a chance to do before, attend meetup groups, get back to your hobbies, lean on friends and family, journal about whats happening, treat yourself to something. Anything that fills you and helps feels good.  Take the time to heal and cry and go through that grieving process to prepare yourself for the person you’re going to end up being with. 

Do you have any questions or your own advice?  Let us know!

Q&A with Date Coach, Lani Klaphaak

As promised, I wanted to share the Q&A session I had with San Francisco-based Date Coach, Lani Klaphaak.  I was also able to shoot the interview on my flip cam so if you do not want to read and would prefer the just watch, you can do so here:

If you would like the verbatim, here it is:

Vitra: Tell me about yourself.

Lani: My business is called Social Studio Coaching. It’s relationship and dating coaching.  So I mostly work with people who are single and frustrated with their dating experience and who want to find a relationship.  People who aren’t having the experience that they want to have.  I work with an even split of both men and women.

Vitra: What was your road to becoming a coach?

Lani: I’ve always been fascinated by relationships and always been curious about the dynamics between people, and how they connect.  I have always ended up in lots of relationships.  My first relationship was in elementary school—we held hands once and would get nervous around each other and would hardly speak to each other.  I discovered coaching and went through my coaching certification program and it was just a natural niche for me to choose relationships and dating.

Vitra: What are the major frustrations of dating for men and women?

Lani:  For women, a lot of the frustrations are “Where are the men that I like? I can’t find them.” It’s also, “How do I get past a first date into a 2nd, 3rd, 4th date?” Also confidence and self-esteem comes up a lot.

For men, it’s similar with, “Where do I find women that I really like?” I work with a lot of really bright men who are in the tech industry – people who spend their whole day in their head.  So they have trouble switching from work mode to play mode, and just being more embodied and more interactive with other people. I work with men a lot about communication and body language.  How to use it to attract women.

Same goes with women, but I see that pattern less for them.  Another thing for both men and women is not really knowing what they are looking for.  So not being sure exactly what they want, what they want to find in a partner, and how they vision the relationship they want to create is not clear.  So I help people a lot with “What kind of relationship do you want to create? Who do you feel you could create that with?  What are the qualities people have that would be a good fit for you?”

Vitra: What would you say are common dating mistakes?

Lani: For women, the biggest mistake is that they are not as available or they don’t express their interest because we have been told and trained and conditioned to be really coy and to play games.  So even when women like men, they are not always expressing that they like them. A lot of it is out of shyness and not knowing what to do.  And it’s also about being vulnerable.  Relationships are inherently a vulnerable thing to be in. You have to put yourself out there, you have to expose yourself and be open to getting rejected. It’s a risk. So just not sharing they are interested.

For men, in San Francisco in particular—they are really passive here, they just don’t go after women.  They don’t show they like them.  It’s a culture where men are brought up to be really respectful of women, which is great, but men have a hard time walking that line between respect and pursuing a woman. Like go—go out, buy them a drink, follow up with a phone call right away.  You don’t have to wait for 3 days.

Vitra: What are some basic things men and women can do to improve their dating life?

Lani: Be open for connection.  We walk around with our earphones in and we’re on our iPhones, and we’re scared of making eye contact. And our body language is telling people we’re not available and don’t want to talk to them. Everyone is guilty of it.  But just the awareness – if you’re going to do it, know that you’re shutting yourself off and not available for connection.  And have it be a deliberate choice that you make.  And when you want to be open, be open so you’re available to the people around you so that you’re sending off the message.

Vitra: How can women feel more confident in dating?

Lani: This is such a huge question and one that takes a lot of work and there’s no quick fix. It’s doable. One of the places I start with clients is when do they feel most alive? When do they feel most themselves? When do they feel really in themselves in a good way—in their element.  What are those emotions they feel? What are the circumstances that create that confidence?  What are the activities?  Is it in a quiet space, is it in a loud, lively space? What are the conditions when they feel solid in who they are because that’s when we all shine and we feel the most grounded and when you can feel the most confidence.

Vitra: How does one person address whether the other is serious about a relationship?

Lani: I think it’s best to be direct and open and open up opportunities for dialogue about this stuff.  So,”Hey, I really enjoy spending time with you—how is it going with you?”  With online dating you’re laying it out there, you have the permission to do that, so you choose people based on what they are saying. When you meet someone offline, I think you can do it as soon as the first date, but again, you have to tune into the situation. What is the connection ready for? What’s going to be comfortable with this person?

By the third date I think you should address the question so beyond that, you don’t want to waste your time.  If you’re clear you want to have kids and get married, you should talk about that sooner, to know you’re making a good investment.

Vitra: Anything else you would say to people who are dating?

Lani: I think it’s so important to be vulnerable. Share what’s really happening to you, when it’s happening to you. Let someone in a little bit.  I think that vulnerability is going to help the dating process be more successful for everyone. But by being vulnerable we let other people in, and that’s when we make connections. We are living in a world consumed by technology, but it’s preventing us from intimacy as well.

That’s another thing—for people to be more aware of how much time they are spending on the phone.  Or on the computer and get off those things and meet people in person. And they can do that by using online websites to meet people in person.

—-

Have you experienced or not experienced the things Lani mentions above? Any tips you have stuck to in your dating life that makes a huge difference? Do tell!

Vitra

Dating Advice from Two Relationship Coaches

As part of my current job, I am one lucky girl to be able to seek out interesting people and interview them.  One of the sites I manage  aims to give women advice on how they can be the best “Diva” in terms of work, fashion, wellness, beauty – basically optimizing every part of their life.

Relationships and dating is a huge part of any person’s life (man or woman.)  I thought it was be a great idea to meet up with a relationship coach for tips I could share with readers.  As it turned out, two coaches emailed me back – a man, Jeremi McManus, and a woman, Lani Klaphaak.   I met with each individually and heard amazing advice I wish I had used when I was single.

The first thing major takeaway was that dating is all about perspective.  So many singles get caught up in the next person they date being the man or woman of their dreams. This is setting yourself up for failure.  According to McManus, anytime you are in a social situation, you should not be looking to meet the person of your dreams, rather you’re looking to do some practice.  That’s right – PRACTICE!

Practice being comfortable with small talk, practice giving compliments, practice making eye contact, practice being receptive and talking to someone who is not your “type.”  This will give you the ability to get comfortable with the process, as well as learn new things about qualities you like or do not like.  So if you can go in with that practicing mentality – you will not be disappointed or depressed if you do not make a strong connection with someone every place you go!

Looking for a love connection?

 

Another important tip that Klaphaak talked about is being committed to the process – and it is a process.  There is no magic pill you can swallow that will make your soul mate appear (at least, not one that I’m aware of!)   So if you are complaining that you can never find good people to date, yet you are not willing to put in the time, energy, and effort it takes to meet people, it is going to be hard for someone you are compatible with to appear – not impossible, but unlikely.

Another fascinating thing:

Men are natural pursuers, and typically women enjoy being chased.  I mean, I guess we all know that (goes back thousands of years,) but how many of you women out there have called or texted a guy before he called or texted you?  Or how man of you have made plans for the date before giving him a chance to do so?

Probably most of us, right?  (Yes, yes – been there, done that myself!)

McManus says we must let men be men – let them do the chasing in ways that are comfortable for them.  After all, do you potentially want to be the one making plans for the rest of your relationship if this thing does work out?  Instead of women taking over that Pursuer role, we should instead learn to be more receptive.  I know we are all modern women here and don’t need someone to open our doors, but …. isn’t it nice when someone takes the time or makes the effort to do that?

Bask in your womanhood, and give the man major kudos when he does those little things to show you he cares.

I am going to post the whole interview Q & A on the “Interviews” section in the coming days, so look out for that.  It will be extremely eye-opening, as they discussed everything from ways to feel more confident, breakups,  and more!

What’s the one piece of relationship advice you utilize more than any?

Vitch Session: Job Not For You? Try These Tips

Vitch Session #1: What to do when you can’t stand your job anymore:

Hi readers, I just shot my first Youtube video on steps to take when come to the realization (or finally admit to yourself) that your job is just not for you.   You don’t want to wake up when the alarm rings, and when it does you automatically start envisioning all the terrible things that are going to torture you throughout the course of your day.

These tips I’m about to share are not new…you’ve probably heard them before.  But the real power is putting them into action.  Just try it for 2 weeks and see what happens:

1) Take a deep breath: Stressing out and feeling panicked and having anxiety is not going to help.  It’s going to make things worse.  You’ve gotten to the point where you are admitting to yourself that something is not working–that’s a HUGE deal.  Just take a deep breath and be proud of that because it means you are no longer going to be stuck in a rut  - you are going to help yourself.

2) Formulating a plan.  Now, don’t turn away and say you don’t have time to write a detailed plan–this is NOT about figuring out every little detail and how they are all going to fall into place.  This is about the long term picture and a broad goal you have in mind.  Do you want to quit your job within the next 3 months?  Do you want to secure a spot in grad school by next semester?

This really is just about giving yourself a timeframe and then working backwards.

Yes, I know you just want to quit tomorrow…but realistically is that going to happen?  Can you afford to do that? I did it…I was 28 year old and living in my parents house in NY though–chances are–you want to be self-sufficient.  The first step to getting out of there is giving yourself a deadline in which YOU WILL BE OUT OF THERE.

And just think about it–once you set that deadline…everyday you go into work, you’ll know you have one less day to be there and it will make you feel GREAT!!

3) Do something to every day that aligns with your goal, no matter how small it is.

You now have your deadline, but now it’s about taking those baby steps to hit that deadline you set for yourself.  If you don’t know where to start, do the basic things first: update your resume, start doing some research online in things you’re interested in — in companies that you’re interested in.  Go to one networking event a week (or more) and try to get as much information from people as you can.

As you’re doing little things each day…one month down the line, you’ll realize how far you’ve actually come.

Bonus Tip #4:  Do not choose 100 goals…focus on 1 or 2 main ones and put your efforts into those until you start seeing traction and accomplishing them.  As you start accomplishing and checking goals off…you can introduce new ones.  (Trying to juggle multiple balls at once will give you no room to progress.)

Please also check out my youtube where I talk make about these 3 tips.  Feel free to leave a comment, question, or critique which I will address moving forward!

Vitra

Visiting Alcatraz Island

Alcatraz, the infamous former federal penitentiary, can be seen from various viewpoints within San Francisco and other part of the Bay Area.  It is that lush, green, yet solitary-looking island in the middle of the Bay.

Alcatraz Island

 

Like most people, I had heard various myths and tales about prisoners at the island and the stringent living conditions.  In my mind, I thought the entire island was dedicated to keeping the bad guys isolated and tortured.

However, after visiting Alcatraz Island this past weekend, I learned that much of the island was actually used by employees and their families.  In fact, a tour of the “island” is actually only the jail building itself.  However, the island apparently boasts plants from around the word, and the varied species of birds that can be seen are surprising.

Image by Vitra Singh, Bird Breaking the Rules

 

Although the tour was only of the jailhouse, there are certain times of the year when paths to the gardens are open to the general public.

If prisoners were not already mentally unstable coming in, there does not seem to be a good chance of surviving in Alcatraz without getting somewhat crazy.

Image by Vitra Singh – Alcatraz prison cell

 

The most chilling part for me was standing inside one of the solitary confinement cells – a very lonely experience even for the most dangerous criminal.  On the other hand, there are 3 windows (like the one shown below) in the prison block that look out to the beauty of the San Francisco skyline.  I can only imagine what it must have been like for prisoners who were locked in four walls.  Did they wish they were out to commit more crimes? Would they tell themselves they would be good citizens if they only had one more chance?  Or were they so lost in the nerve-wrenching but routine life of prison that they actually felt happier inside than out?

 

Image by Vitra Singh – What did prisoners think when seeing this view from the Inside?

 

 

Another interesting fact is that after the prison was shut down, Native Americans actually descended upon Alcatraz for about 15-16 months to claim it as Indian-land.  They felt it was a great symbol to illustrate the melting pot among the various tribes.  Signs of their presence are scattered throughout the island:

 

When I first saw this from the ship, I thought “Are they talking about MY ancestors?”–but no, Native Americans rather!

 

Image by Vitra Singh – Free place for “Indians”…aka Native Americans

 

Overall, a tour of Alcatraz is definitely recommended.  Even if you are not interested in the history of the Island, it is a wonderful ferry ride, and the views are well worth it!

Image by Vitra Singh – AH – what a gorgeous day in San Francisco (as shown from Alcatraz Ferry)

 

I give it a Thumbs Up! My Fiance obviously thinks I’m a weirdo.

Have you been to Alcatraz or any other infamous prison?  Do tell!

Wedding Planning Equals Frugal Me!

You may have read my previous post from the end of 2013 about how planning a wedding is SUPER EXPENSIVE!

2013 has made me realize that I need to watch my money.  I have always been pretty good at watching my money, budgeting, paying off my bills, etc.  But, this year I need to do better – much better.  I essentially need to stretch what I am making to cover all the normal cost of living, saving a little something, and (this is the stretching part) still having enough to take care of some wedding costs.

This means that I must go from being budget-conscious to being ….oh, what’s the proper word: Frugal? Cheap? Yup, those are basically accurate.

But I cannot do this alone.  I have a fiance who sometimes like to be spontaneous and just buy things and go places because “we are  still young” and if we don’t do those things now, when will we ever?  I agree with him to a certain extent.  Sometimes one must throw caution to the wind and just do things because in that moment, nothing else matters and you know you’ll have the memory to look back on and cherish forever.

I also know, though, that we do not need to have dinners out multiple times a week that add up to large chunks of money at a time.  Perhaps instead of getting appetizers and dessert, we get just one or the other?

And, why not take advantage of services like Groupon, Living Social, Bloomspot, Google Offers, and the plethora of other coupon services out there.  That’s what they are for, right?  I can buy a $40 coupon that will give me $60-$80 dollars worth of food instead.

Some other ways of lowering expenses is shopping online, I have found.  If I see something I like in the store, I will usually go online and see if I can find a deal or something similar.

I have also been cutting back buying lunch to once a week and not splurging on snacks, sweets, take-out and other not-so-good things that always kind of whisper in our ears to “buy me.”

I’ll let you know how it works out at the end of February.

Anyway, this is where I would like your help: what (if any) measures do you take to ensure moderation or budgeting in your life?  Are there any cost-saving tips you can share?  Please leave a comment–really looking forward to the feedback you have to give!

And take the poll below!

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Frugal Me!

You may have read my previous post from the end of 2013 about how planning a wedding is SUPER EXPENSIVE!

2013 has made me realize that I need to watch my money.  I have always been pretty good at watching my money, budgeting, paying off my bills, etc.  But, this year I need to do better – much better.  I essentially need to stretch what I am making to cover all the normal cost of living, saving a little something, and (this is the stretching part) still having enough to take care of some wedding costs.

This means that I must go from being budget-conscious to being ….oh, what’s the proper word: Frugal? Cheap? Yup, those are basically accurate.

But I cannot do this alone.  I have a fiance who sometimes like to be spontaneous and just buy things and go places because “we are  still young” and if we don’t do those things now, when will we ever?  I agree with him to a certain extent.  Sometimes one must throw caution to the wind and just do things because in that moment, nothing else matters and you know you’ll have the memory to look back on and cherish forever.

I also know, though, that we do not need to have dinners out multiple times a week that add up to large chunks of money at a time.  Perhaps instead of getting appetizers and dessert, we get just one or the other?

And, why not take advantage of services like Groupon, Living Social, Bloomspot, Google Offers, and the plethora of other coupon services out there.  That’s what they are for, right?  I can buy a $40 coupon that will give me $60-$80 dollars worth of food instead.

Some other ways of lowering expenses is shopping online, I have found.  If I see something I like in the store, I will usually go online and see if I can find a deal or something similar.

I have also been cutting back buying lunch to once a week and not splurging on snacks, sweets, take-out and other not-so-good things that always kind of whisper in our ears to “buy me.”

I’ll let you know how it works out at the end of February.

Anyway, this is where I would like your help: what (if any) measures do you take to ensure moderation or budgeting in your life?  Are there any cost-saving tips you can share?  Please leave a comment–really looking forward to the feedback you have to give!

And take the poll below!

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

San Francisco VS. New York

Granted, I have only been in San Francisco for less than 8 months, and granted, New York City is my home.  More specifically, Brooklyn is truly home – where family, friends, familiarity, comfort, and peace of mind somehow intersect.

So, how can San Francisco stack up to that?  My fiance thinks I’m an East Coast snob….and maybe I am.  But better than a NY snob than L.A. snob, right?  But, I digress…

I claim them both as home–Image from BBC.CO.UK

Seriously, here are some pros and cons about San Francisco–and these things are personal to ME–that is my disclaimer:

As a traveler, I love the plethora of apps available for commuters in the city of San Francisco. 
However, the train & buses stop running around midnight, perhaps a little later on weekends – Let the record show that NYC is 24/7 with transportation (although that transportation still takes a while and is not always the cleanest.)
I was surprised at the large number of homeless people in San Francisco.  This is one of the most touristy cities in the world.  The fact that a neighborhood like The Tenderloin are located smack in the center of the city was a little strange for me at first–even stranger is no visible attempts to help these people get off the street or clean up.  While NYC also has many homeless people, I think the past two administrations have done a great job at alleviating the problem (or for all I know, just hiding the homeless and drugged out someplace where tourists and New Yorkers are unaware of.)
Sports: The Yankees are my home team – even if I didn’t want to root for them, I feel compelled to do so.  However, I have to say, I’m so impressed and proud of the performances of my Current Home Teams!! The SF Giants won the world series, and the SF 49ers are in the Superbowl this Sunday!  GO NINERS!!! Can’t wait for another parade!
Weather:  This is something I’m torn on.  I didn’t expect it to be chilly ALL THE TIME in San Francisco.  I thought all of California was hot all the time.  Ignorant me!  When I moved in June, I was more depressed with the fact that I would walk out the house everyday only to be greeted by chilly weather, fog, and mist.  It was like Christmas everyday.  HOWEVER, I have since moved to downtown and while it’s still chilly and between 48 to 60 degrees everyday…I guess compared to the 20 degree weather in NYC, I’m pretty happy with SF weather.
Food: I would call this even.  There are equally great sushi places here as in NY; equally good Mexican; maybe not equally good Thai (yet), but SF has a fantastic culinary culture which is awesome.
In terms of expenses, I believe it might be slightly more expensive to live in SF than in NY.  I haven’t found the dollar pizza shops for lunch like those on 44th & 45th street in NYC and somehow the cost of eating out seems like a luxury here as things add up…QUICKLY!
A huge plus about San Fran is that within 45-60 minutes, you can be in the desert, in the city, in the mountains, or at the beach.
Another huge PLUS about SF: NAPA, NAPA, NAPA
And, MY FIANCE IS HERE!
I do miss my family in NYC though, so the 6 hour cross country flights are not my favorite, but that’s not SF’s fault, really.
I do miss the proximity of living in a place where I am just a 4 hour flight away from all the Caribbean islands :-/

Those are just a few of the comparisons that come to mind initially.  I think in another 4 months, my list might be a lot different.  While I’m not exactly a “newbie”, not having a ton of close friends in San Francisco definitely influences my loyalty to New York.

However, that does not stop me from taking advantage of all the San Francisco has to offer.

Clarion Alley in San Francisco

A few weeks ago, I took a stroll through Clarion Alley in San Francisco’s Mission District.  It is an alleyway that has murals on the sides of the houses – often political messages. It’s often mentioned in San Francisco “To-Do” Lists.

The walk itself can take as short as two minutes, or if you are really taking the time to look at the murals, up to 15-20 minutes.

Below are just a few images from my visit:

Clarion Alley Entrance
Close-Up
Clarion Alley
Scary
Love the contrasting colors
Petting the Elephant on the wall.
See through man
The image says it all