Jan Notzon's Blog, page 27
May 5, 2021
Faith
My fourth novel, "Song for the Forsaken" actually started out as a one-act play. It came to me during the time I was an MFA candidate in theatre at the University of South Carolina.
At the time, I was a committed (and, I have to confess, very angry) atheist. Hence the questions of faith in the face of so much suffering.
Mandy MacDaniel, the protagonist, has watched her mother suffer in pain for months until she finally died.
Mandy's life in her very poor Appalachian home has been one of blind faith in her religion--basically the only solace in a hardscrabble and very tenuous existence.
Watching her mother suffer and especially her non-verbal request that Mandy put an end to her suffering has absolutely decimated that faith.
She's coming home to the younger sister she has single-handedly raised with the knowledge that her loss of faith will tear them apart.
I suppose the story came out of my own ambivalence--even my hostility to a God that would permit such suffering in the world.
I have read all the vindications, the justifications, the theodicies for permitting such evil.
When I first wrote the one-act, I think I was making the point that faith is inimical to relationships on this earth--that religion keeps us apart rather than bringing us together.
Now, so many years later, I wonder.
At the time, I was a committed (and, I have to confess, very angry) atheist. Hence the questions of faith in the face of so much suffering.
Mandy MacDaniel, the protagonist, has watched her mother suffer in pain for months until she finally died.
Mandy's life in her very poor Appalachian home has been one of blind faith in her religion--basically the only solace in a hardscrabble and very tenuous existence.
Watching her mother suffer and especially her non-verbal request that Mandy put an end to her suffering has absolutely decimated that faith.
She's coming home to the younger sister she has single-handedly raised with the knowledge that her loss of faith will tear them apart.
I suppose the story came out of my own ambivalence--even my hostility to a God that would permit such suffering in the world.
I have read all the vindications, the justifications, the theodicies for permitting such evil.
When I first wrote the one-act, I think I was making the point that faith is inimical to relationships on this earth--that religion keeps us apart rather than bringing us together.
Now, so many years later, I wonder.
April 17, 2021
The Need for Violence
I think part of what inspired me to write "The Id Paradox" was an incident that occurred when I was still living in a pre-gentrified neighborhood in Charlotte, North Carolina.
I was at home and heard a commotion next door. Out of that house came a young man dragging a girl out of it by her hair. She was screaming "No!" No!".
I went immediately to intervene. This gentleman(?) had her in the car and was getting in the driver's seat. I went and put hands on him and (strangely) said, "Come on, man. Let her go." As though I could appeal to the conscience of a young tough who could actually drag a girl by her hair!
I have no recollection of what occurred after that until they were sewing up my lip in the hospital.
Obviously, one cannot reason with someone who would do what this person did. I remember my father telling me when I was about 13 or 14, "Jan, there are people in this world who only respond to violence. The only thing that will stop them is force."
Being a young adolescent full of myself, I thought, "Stupid old man. What does he know?"
That incident answered my arrogant questioning of my father's wisdom in spades. One cannot appeal to reason or morality with a man who would drag a young girl by her hair and force her into his car.
The only proper response, as my father advised me, was meeting this jerk's violence with like violence. And the ability to find that violence in oneself is, at times, an absolute necessity.
BTW, The girl got away, at least.
I was at home and heard a commotion next door. Out of that house came a young man dragging a girl out of it by her hair. She was screaming "No!" No!".
I went immediately to intervene. This gentleman(?) had her in the car and was getting in the driver's seat. I went and put hands on him and (strangely) said, "Come on, man. Let her go." As though I could appeal to the conscience of a young tough who could actually drag a girl by her hair!
I have no recollection of what occurred after that until they were sewing up my lip in the hospital.
Obviously, one cannot reason with someone who would do what this person did. I remember my father telling me when I was about 13 or 14, "Jan, there are people in this world who only respond to violence. The only thing that will stop them is force."
Being a young adolescent full of myself, I thought, "Stupid old man. What does he know?"
That incident answered my arrogant questioning of my father's wisdom in spades. One cannot appeal to reason or morality with a man who would drag a young girl by her hair and force her into his car.
The only proper response, as my father advised me, was meeting this jerk's violence with like violence. And the ability to find that violence in oneself is, at times, an absolute necessity.
BTW, The girl got away, at least.
March 17, 2021
The Nature of Evil
When I sat down out on the deck of my house to begin my second novel, which came to be called, "And Ye Shall Be As Gods, " I think (and I stress that particular verb), that I started with a feeling. It was one of regret for the way I treated a member of my family as a child. I was cruel in the way children can often be--at least in my own perception. This led to the creation of "Grace", the little and very damaged sister of "Jake", the protagonist.
I suppose it made me wonder what it is that leads people to commit evil (although I hope my behavior never descended to that level). Are some born that way? If not born that way, what is it that leads people to commit the atrocities through history with which we are all familiar? Mob behavior? An absence of empathy? Greed? Self-hate that needs to be displaced onto others? The Devil? All of the above?
How could some people actually enslave others--and how can slavery continue to exist?! How can some seek to extirpate a whole ethnic group from the earth? And most incredible and terrifying of all, how could people who are loving parents and friends commit such horrific acts?!
These are the questions and ideas I sought to explore in "And Ye Shall Be As Gods". To those who have read it or plan to (or hopefully are reading it now) I hope you will share with me your thoughts on this subject.
And I yearn to know what you think, how you might answer these questions. For I truly believe we are all capable, and that it is that very knowledge and the keeping of it in mind that keeps us from the commission of such evil.
I suppose it made me wonder what it is that leads people to commit evil (although I hope my behavior never descended to that level). Are some born that way? If not born that way, what is it that leads people to commit the atrocities through history with which we are all familiar? Mob behavior? An absence of empathy? Greed? Self-hate that needs to be displaced onto others? The Devil? All of the above?
How could some people actually enslave others--and how can slavery continue to exist?! How can some seek to extirpate a whole ethnic group from the earth? And most incredible and terrifying of all, how could people who are loving parents and friends commit such horrific acts?!
These are the questions and ideas I sought to explore in "And Ye Shall Be As Gods". To those who have read it or plan to (or hopefully are reading it now) I hope you will share with me your thoughts on this subject.
And I yearn to know what you think, how you might answer these questions. For I truly believe we are all capable, and that it is that very knowledge and the keeping of it in mind that keeps us from the commission of such evil.
March 13, 2021
I'd Rather Be Listening
I find myself hesitant to expostulate about the novels I have written. The primary reason is that, whichever one is considered, I would rather the reader tell me what he thought it is about. I have a fear of prejudicing the reader to interpret it my way instead of h/her own.
I've always believed that there is a subconscious element forming the ideas and concerns that go into a story, and that the reader is frequently better able to discern those sub- or preconscious thoughts than the author.
Of course, I already know what I think the story is about, so it is much more interesting for me to hear what others think. I suppose that's because I've always been a listener rather than a talker.
This is why I simultaneously enjoy and find it supremely frustrating when I'm in a country and do not speak the language. Speaking two, English and Spanish, allows me a good deal of opportunity.
However, when I went to the country from which my father's family emigrated, Poland, I sorely wished I spoke the language. To be able to speak (and especially LISTEN) to others in their native language is a good part of the fun for me in traveling.
So, I hope those who have read my novels, my plays, my children's story will tell me what they think the ideas expressed are. I actually crave such feedback.
Meanwhile, I will do my best to talk about them without influencing the reader to think about them a particular way.
I think it will be quite a challenge.
I've always believed that there is a subconscious element forming the ideas and concerns that go into a story, and that the reader is frequently better able to discern those sub- or preconscious thoughts than the author.
Of course, I already know what I think the story is about, so it is much more interesting for me to hear what others think. I suppose that's because I've always been a listener rather than a talker.
This is why I simultaneously enjoy and find it supremely frustrating when I'm in a country and do not speak the language. Speaking two, English and Spanish, allows me a good deal of opportunity.
However, when I went to the country from which my father's family emigrated, Poland, I sorely wished I spoke the language. To be able to speak (and especially LISTEN) to others in their native language is a good part of the fun for me in traveling.
So, I hope those who have read my novels, my plays, my children's story will tell me what they think the ideas expressed are. I actually crave such feedback.
Meanwhile, I will do my best to talk about them without influencing the reader to think about them a particular way.
I think it will be quite a challenge.
February 3, 2021
Sunshine 2
Well, it's another sunny day.
I'll write something new when I have something cheerful to report.
Don't hold your breath.
I'll write something new when I have something cheerful to report.
Don't hold your breath.
January 28, 2021
Sunshine
Thank God for an actually sunny day here in Charlotte, North Carolina, after its unfortunate absence for it seems and eternity, With all of this unbearable social isolation, one must find something amid the ruins to celebrate.
So, not being able to see my friends in person, I am thankful for the telephone, email, and other alternatives.
I'm especially thankful for my dog, Sheba. Without her, I tremble at where I might be.
I do wish all a prompt deliverance from this pandemic and an end, at long last, to social isolation. (Makes me want to take up cigarettes again!)
So, not being able to see my friends in person, I am thankful for the telephone, email, and other alternatives.
I'm especially thankful for my dog, Sheba. Without her, I tremble at where I might be.
I do wish all a prompt deliverance from this pandemic and an end, at long last, to social isolation. (Makes me want to take up cigarettes again!)
January 7, 2021
So sad
Well, it seems it has now gotten to the point that both sides of the political spectrum in the United States act out like children when they don't get their way.
I believe this comes from a populace that has gone from one with a sense of duty and personal responsibility to one with a sense of entitlement. (If I don't get my way, I'll make life miserable for everyone. I'll riot and destroy property (and besides that, I'll hold my breath until I turn blue!)).
I sorrowfully predict the demise of this country. Though I will probably be accused of jingoism, I believe that this will probably result in Chinese hegemony over the world, and that can only spell disaster.
In my humble opinion.
I believe this comes from a populace that has gone from one with a sense of duty and personal responsibility to one with a sense of entitlement. (If I don't get my way, I'll make life miserable for everyone. I'll riot and destroy property (and besides that, I'll hold my breath until I turn blue!)).
I sorrowfully predict the demise of this country. Though I will probably be accused of jingoism, I believe that this will probably result in Chinese hegemony over the world, and that can only spell disaster.
In my humble opinion.
November 14, 2020
Suffer Not The Mole People
Hello to everyone. My fifth novel, "Suffer Not The Mole People" is now available on Amazon, etc.
It concerns the hopes, doubts and fears of a 19th century Polish peasant family concerning their decision to emigrate and the trials and tribulations they encounter on their journey.
It is loosely based on my own Polish ancestors who emigrated directly from Silesia, Poland to the wilds of primitive Texas a very few years after it became a state.
I do hope you'll enjoy it!
It concerns the hopes, doubts and fears of a 19th century Polish peasant family concerning their decision to emigrate and the trials and tribulations they encounter on their journey.
It is loosely based on my own Polish ancestors who emigrated directly from Silesia, Poland to the wilds of primitive Texas a very few years after it became a state.
I do hope you'll enjoy it!
October 16, 2020
A Review
A review of Song for the Forsaken, by Jan Notzon.
This is the story of Mandy MacDaniel and her journey toward redemption. I am drawn to stories of redemption, actually toward the possibility of redemption because I believe this grace is out-of-reach for so many of us. However, this is one area in which the idea of being wrong is welcome. To say that I was blown away is doing a disservice to both the author and Mandy. Also, this is not a descriptive term I would use. I will say I was awed and deeply touched. What common ground could I have with a girl from the
Appalachian backwoods? The truth is that I saw myself in Mandy and that is what great writing should do—find connections. It should never talk down to it’s audience. This novel did not. The chapters are short and fast-paced taking the reader through Mandy’s family history, her complicated relationships with family, heartbreaking decisions, and an all too-brief glimpse into her life. I love words and how people choose to put them together to evoke responses. The writing is lyrical, poetic, almost a dirge. I can see how the love of the poetry of the Romantics influenced and affected the life of Mandy’s father, Owen. It is the style of the dreamers, of those who prefer the sublime over the mundane. To lose sight of these dreams crushes the soul and darkens the spirit. Do Mandy and her family find redemption? I really cannot say, but the path is definitely there.
Full Disclosure: Jan Notzon is a friend and fellow Laredoan. I did not receive this novel as a gift. I purchased it myself because I am interested in his work. He is a gifted storyteller and absolutely has something to say.
This is the story of Mandy MacDaniel and her journey toward redemption. I am drawn to stories of redemption, actually toward the possibility of redemption because I believe this grace is out-of-reach for so many of us. However, this is one area in which the idea of being wrong is welcome. To say that I was blown away is doing a disservice to both the author and Mandy. Also, this is not a descriptive term I would use. I will say I was awed and deeply touched. What common ground could I have with a girl from the
Appalachian backwoods? The truth is that I saw myself in Mandy and that is what great writing should do—find connections. It should never talk down to it’s audience. This novel did not. The chapters are short and fast-paced taking the reader through Mandy’s family history, her complicated relationships with family, heartbreaking decisions, and an all too-brief glimpse into her life. I love words and how people choose to put them together to evoke responses. The writing is lyrical, poetic, almost a dirge. I can see how the love of the poetry of the Romantics influenced and affected the life of Mandy’s father, Owen. It is the style of the dreamers, of those who prefer the sublime over the mundane. To lose sight of these dreams crushes the soul and darkens the spirit. Do Mandy and her family find redemption? I really cannot say, but the path is definitely there.
Full Disclosure: Jan Notzon is a friend and fellow Laredoan. I did not receive this novel as a gift. I purchased it myself because I am interested in his work. He is a gifted storyteller and absolutely has something to say.
October 15, 2020
New Novel
My fifth novel will soon be out ("Suffer Not The Mole People") and I am trying to get started on a sixth.
Interestingly, I find that the fifth (and the sixth, if I can write it), started differently from the first four.
Those first four started with a personal feeling and the story was built around it. In addition, I was writing what I know (i.e. life in Texas and New York--two of the places I've lived).
The most recent one, as will be the case for the one to come if I'm able, started with an idea for a story (my paternal family's immigration from Poland about which I knew almost nothing) and I had to personalize it from there. I wonder if I'll ever write an impersonal novel. Perhaps the next one.
It is much harder to write about something you don't know. At least, it is for me. Ah well, challenges are what make life interesting.
Interestingly, I find that the fifth (and the sixth, if I can write it), started differently from the first four.
Those first four started with a personal feeling and the story was built around it. In addition, I was writing what I know (i.e. life in Texas and New York--two of the places I've lived).
The most recent one, as will be the case for the one to come if I'm able, started with an idea for a story (my paternal family's immigration from Poland about which I knew almost nothing) and I had to personalize it from there. I wonder if I'll ever write an impersonal novel. Perhaps the next one.
It is much harder to write about something you don't know. At least, it is for me. Ah well, challenges are what make life interesting.
