Jan Notzon's Blog, page 18
August 12, 2023
Sound of Freedom
I went to see this movie last night. If you have a strong stomach, I urge you to see it! I know some people were uplifted by it and that is looking at the glass half-full. I think that is the proper attitude.
I wish I could say it is true of me. However, with statistics like a 5K% increase in child trafficking and that more people are enslaved today than when slavery was legal (and, I know, the population is probably exponentially larger now) I wonder about the other Rocíos out there still being sold and unconscionably abused as sex slaves.
It is also depressing that the largest market for child sex slaves is here in the United States. How can this country have so many heartless perverts?!!
I immediately got in touch with Angel Productions to see how I might be able to support the battle against this sickening perversion.
I urge all of my followers to do the same.
I wish I could say it is true of me. However, with statistics like a 5K% increase in child trafficking and that more people are enslaved today than when slavery was legal (and, I know, the population is probably exponentially larger now) I wonder about the other Rocíos out there still being sold and unconscionably abused as sex slaves.
It is also depressing that the largest market for child sex slaves is here in the United States. How can this country have so many heartless perverts?!!
I immediately got in touch with Angel Productions to see how I might be able to support the battle against this sickening perversion.
I urge all of my followers to do the same.
August 11, 2023
Another Review from BookLife
Set mainly in Aguagria, a border town in Texas, the complex coexistence of good and evil is the theme of Notzon’s existential sophomore novel, which concerns a former lawyer hunting for a more meaningful life, while facing the secrets of the past and the worst of humanity. Home for his father’s funeral, Jacob Kazmareck, is concerned about his adopted sister Grace’s slide into a dark place. A talented violinist and survivor of childhood tragedy, Grace mysteriously gives up recording music, muttering to herself "Grace is a mistake.” Meanwhile, Jacob suffers an assault he can’t remember, suffers a bout of amnesia, and experiences a wrenching encounter with his former lover, Dolores Martínez, a friend of Grace’s confined in a mental health institution for killing her mother.
Amid all this, despairing over the “pointlessness of a human pursuit” and haunted by intense discussions with a Holocaust survivor, he discovers that the truth of that murder is somehow linked to his sister’s withdrawal from the world. “What are we?” Jake asks, and Notzon captures his searching despair in pained, charged language touched with the philosophical and the poetic, balancing the dark (“I spent Saturday in the hollow depths of hell”) and the sumptuous (“the endless azure sky clutched at the fish-boned wispiness of diaphanous cloud”.) At times, the prose’s density comes at the cost of narrative momentum, but the diverse characters cast a serious spell. Especially moving is the tender bond and profound understanding between Jake and Grace. The impact of childhood sibling rivalry, another urgent theme, resonates.
Divided into two parts based on Jake’s journey, the novel succeeds in weaving together the casts’ disparate stories with a considerable degree of skill, illustrating its themes but never feeling schematic. A prologue highlights key ideas but gives away much of the denouement, so the resolution doesn’t surprise, exactly, but it makes a potent case for empathy, communication, and human resilience. Readers who relish fiction that interrogates the “human pursuit” will find this entertaining and edifying.
Takeaway: Engrossing existential novel about a brother-sister bond and an urgent mystery.
Comparable Titles: Burhan Sönmez’s Labyrinth, Brian Phillip Whalen’s Semiotic Love.
Production grades
Cover: B
Design and typography: A
Illustrations: N/A
Editing: A-
Marketing copy: A-
Amid all this, despairing over the “pointlessness of a human pursuit” and haunted by intense discussions with a Holocaust survivor, he discovers that the truth of that murder is somehow linked to his sister’s withdrawal from the world. “What are we?” Jake asks, and Notzon captures his searching despair in pained, charged language touched with the philosophical and the poetic, balancing the dark (“I spent Saturday in the hollow depths of hell”) and the sumptuous (“the endless azure sky clutched at the fish-boned wispiness of diaphanous cloud”.) At times, the prose’s density comes at the cost of narrative momentum, but the diverse characters cast a serious spell. Especially moving is the tender bond and profound understanding between Jake and Grace. The impact of childhood sibling rivalry, another urgent theme, resonates.
Divided into two parts based on Jake’s journey, the novel succeeds in weaving together the casts’ disparate stories with a considerable degree of skill, illustrating its themes but never feeling schematic. A prologue highlights key ideas but gives away much of the denouement, so the resolution doesn’t surprise, exactly, but it makes a potent case for empathy, communication, and human resilience. Readers who relish fiction that interrogates the “human pursuit” will find this entertaining and edifying.
Takeaway: Engrossing existential novel about a brother-sister bond and an urgent mystery.
Comparable Titles: Burhan Sönmez’s Labyrinth, Brian Phillip Whalen’s Semiotic Love.
Production grades
Cover: B
Design and typography: A
Illustrations: N/A
Editing: A-
Marketing copy: A-
August 5, 2023
BookLife Review
Title: And Ye Shall Be As Gods
Author: Jan Notzon
Genre: Fiction/General Fiction (including literary and historical)
Audience: Adult
Word Count: 86,040
Assessment:
Plot/Idea: Notzon struggles to balance narrating experiences with revealing characters' thoughts and emotions, resulting in snapshots of events that often give way to the main character's substantial interiority. The overarching theme—acceptance of self and others—runs throughout, and Notzon gifts characters' experiences with post-colonialism and ethnic discrimination a powerful voice.
Prose: Notzon's style is distinctive, with dramatic and expressive prose that results in an intense character voice. That strength also complicates the narrative in places, lengthening descriptions and requiring readers to pay close attention in order to follow the narrator's sentiments.
Originality: Though the story's themes are conventional, Notzon's unique writing techniques paint a forceful portrait of Jacob and Grace's experiences with discrimination and hate. Jacob's probing of the dark side of humanity is illuminating, as in the conversation he has with himself after hearing Shmuel's survival story.
Character/Execution: Notzon has crafted an analytical story that harnesses extraordinary imagery to dig into character emotions, and the consistent authorial intrusion will prompt deep thought in readers. Though the diction overwhelms in places, ultimately it produces a voice-driven story through its witty, intellectual narrator. Jacob's compassionate nature invites reader empathy, while Grace's character is primarily developed through Jacob's interpretation of her experiences. Supporting characters play their roles well, bolstering Jacob's observations and enlightenment.
Score:
Author: Jan Notzon
Genre: Fiction/General Fiction (including literary and historical)
Audience: Adult
Word Count: 86,040
Assessment:
Plot/Idea: Notzon struggles to balance narrating experiences with revealing characters' thoughts and emotions, resulting in snapshots of events that often give way to the main character's substantial interiority. The overarching theme—acceptance of self and others—runs throughout, and Notzon gifts characters' experiences with post-colonialism and ethnic discrimination a powerful voice.
Prose: Notzon's style is distinctive, with dramatic and expressive prose that results in an intense character voice. That strength also complicates the narrative in places, lengthening descriptions and requiring readers to pay close attention in order to follow the narrator's sentiments.
Originality: Though the story's themes are conventional, Notzon's unique writing techniques paint a forceful portrait of Jacob and Grace's experiences with discrimination and hate. Jacob's probing of the dark side of humanity is illuminating, as in the conversation he has with himself after hearing Shmuel's survival story.
Character/Execution: Notzon has crafted an analytical story that harnesses extraordinary imagery to dig into character emotions, and the consistent authorial intrusion will prompt deep thought in readers. Though the diction overwhelms in places, ultimately it produces a voice-driven story through its witty, intellectual narrator. Jacob's compassionate nature invites reader empathy, while Grace's character is primarily developed through Jacob's interpretation of her experiences. Supporting characters play their roles well, bolstering Jacob's observations and enlightenment.
Score:
August 1, 2023
Another Short Story
Grace's Dream
Bedtime in the sleepy Texas border town of Luz Oscura would almost always find me lying awake, listening to the disembodied sound of the dogs barking in the distance. Outside, the parched desert wind blew fiercely, scraping an orange tree’s branches against the wall and window of my brother Frank’s and my bedroom. Above me in the top bunk, Frank contentedly (I imagined) snored away. I was always envious of his ability to fall asleep the minute his head hit the pillow. For me, sleep was usually a carrot dangling just out of reach.
My baby sister Grace’s room was next to ours and almost every night I would hear our father tell her a story in efforts to send her on her way to dreamland. If anything, that blessed state was even more elusive for her than for me.
I could always hear my father’s light baritone just above the lonely howl of my canine companions in the distance. And those rare nights when the wind didn’t blow, the story came through almost word for word.
There was one story in particular I remember. I have no idea why. I also don’t know if time and imagination have enhanced or changed it substantially. It concerned a mighty and benevolent king named Alontius or Alonshus, his beautiful and infinitely clever wife, Verita and their two children, Grachine and Theobald. (I’m just guessing at the spelling of these names.)
King Alontius was very wise and beloved by all his subjects. He adored his wife, who was his chief advisor and confidant. His daughter Grachine (Grashene?) was an accomplished artist at the ripe old age of twelve. Theobald, two years his sister’s junior, had already shown a precocious (I doubt my father used that particular adjective) ability as an equestrian and was quite the musician considering his tender years.
You might think that Alontius would have been thoroughly contented. He had riches, the devotion and wise counsel of his adored wife, the loyalty of his subjects and the love of his children. He and his family lived in a glorious palace on a mountaintop where the air was pure and the weather ever pleasant.
But if you thought so you would be wrong. There was a strange feeling of emptiness that haunted Alontius. It was a prodigious yearning that, try as he might, he could give no name to. Oftentimes, Queen Verita would find her husband staring out a palace window so far in the distance and with such a look of absence that it would trouble her. “Husband, what seek you in the distance?” she would ask.
Alontius would react rather self-consciously and quickly try to assuage his queen’s worries. “Oh, nothing, nothing my dear…just admiring the beauty of the valley below and…and hoping it may be preserved for all to enjoy in the future.” And he would quickly return to affairs of state and catechize his wife concerning the annual budget or some question of property and the law.
Verita remained suspicious, but out of a sense of discretion, did not insist. I suppose these are things one must accept in a marriage, she thought to herself. Even between wife and husband there are personal thoughts and issues one keeps to oneself. But she remained unsettled.
One particularly spectacular spring day, the king went riding. He actually snuck out to avoid any of his guards accompanying him. He needed to be alone. He rode for hours on his horse, Champion, over the far corners of his kingdom. Down into the valley below he rode and came upon a particularly dense stretch of forest. From there he wandered out of curiosity into the woods outside the limits of the palace grounds.
He came upon a copse so thick that all was cast in shadow. A dense fog arose that seemed to encompass only the area of lush woodland where he presently rode. And, eerily enough, it seemed to follow him as he guided his mount in different directions. He suddenly felt drawn into a space of wonder and imagination. So unusual were his surroundings that he slowed Champion to a crawl. I have no idea where I am, he said to himself with a dose of apprehension seasoned with excitement.
Then suddenly, on a low branch of a tree he could not identify, a huge white owl appeared. He stopped, astonished. “What on earth…!” he said out loud. And to his greater befuddlement, the owl replied. “Perhaps not.”
“You…you speak!” the king replied.
“A decidedly keen observation,” the owl dryly replied.
For a moment the king was struck dumb with wonder. Finally, he regained the power of speech. “What…what are you?”
“What I am is beyond your powers of understanding. I appear only to those whose emptiness calls me to life. I feel that profound ache within you. What is it you seek?”
“I…I’m not sure.”
“Then I cannot help you. Good day.” And the monstrous owl began to fade to transparency.
“Wait! Please!”
The owl returned to substance.
“I…I wish to be the soul of virtue—the image of all that is good and wholesome.”
“And are you not virtuous: faithful to your wife, a loving father to your children? Do you not administer justice as impartially as you can for your subjects?
The king hesitated, uncertain. “I…I have temptations. I’m sometimes cross with my wife, the queen, impatient with my children. I have ruled sometimes in favor of those who were not deserving. I have made war, sent subjects to their deaths, and I have killed in battle.”
“All the faults of men.” The owl paused to see if his comment would have any effect. “But still I can feel you are unsatisfied. I can grant your wish, if you can live with the consequences.”
“Wha…what consequences.”
“Who can say? There are consequences good and bad to any of life’s choices.” The owl waited. “Well…? Do you accept the terms?”
The king faltered, but his desire was overwhelming. “I do.”
The owl spread his wings which grew to an enormous size, and a single flap raised such a powerful wind that the king was blown off his horse. When he rose from the ground the strange bird was gone.
As he dusted himself off, he had a wonderful feeling of lightness. He rather flew onto his saddle, and Champion was for his first few steps unsure of his rider. But the fog had suddenly lifted, and the king and his horse found their way back to the palace.
The queen found him in their bedroom looking out over his kingdom. She was immediately alarmed. “My Lord, are you feeling well. You look pale!”
“Never better,” he replied. And catching sight of himself in the mirror, where indeed his reflection looked rather swarthy, he continued. “You are deceived, wife; I am robust!”
In the following days, weeks and into months the king went about the business of state with renewed vigor. He passed many laws, often by decree, against the advice of the queen and his counsel. He refused to meet the threat of those opposing his reign or of foreign powers invading outlying areas of his kingdom. “No, no,” he assured, “I will send word to convince them that we mean them no harm. Once they understand that, they will become our friends and we will live together in peace.”
He began to spend more and more time isolated in prayer and meditation. And from his chamber would issue decrees without consultation, spending the resources of state in order to offer more and greater services for the people.
Queen Verita and his advisors tried to warn him of increasing imbalances in the kingdom’s accounts, debts and serious deficiencies in the realm’s army. But the king blithely ignored such warnings, passing notes through his chamber door that read, “It will all work out in the end,” and “We shall defend ourselves with reason and good will.”
Meanwhile, out of the view of the queen and his children, the king grew paler and paler. But when he would look in the mirror, he would see his reflection growing darker. He wondered at that but had grown so carefree and brimming with optimism that he eventually simply turned the mirror aside and continued in his wonted vein.
The queen was growing increasingly desperate. The king had not suffered her nor their children’s presence before him for weeks now. The coffers were empty, debts were mounting, and foreign invaders were conquering more and more of the kingdom’s territory.
One day she defied the king’s order and forced her way into his private chamber. With her were Granchine and Theobald, as the queen hoped that sight of his family might bring Alontius to his senses.
When she finally saw him, the sight horrified her. Alontius was white as snow and almost transparent. She stood with her mouth agape. “Wife, what do you here?” Alontius demanded. “You have violated my order to not be disturbed.”
“My husband, what has happened to you?”
“Why, other than having my meditations disturbed, nothing at all. Why do you ask?”
But the children were equally aghast and began to cry. So the queen approached and tried to embrace her husband. To her horror, her arms passed right through him. “Oh, my Lord, what has happened to you?”
“I…don’t know.” Now Alontius was himself frightened and tried to embrace his children. But again, he had lost all substance and his arms went through them. “Oh my God in Heaven, what can I do, Verita?” he exclaimed.
When the king had flown across the room to his children, Verita had seen just a flash of his reflection in the mirror the king had turned aside. But it was a terrifying image. It was almost completely black with jack-o’-lantern eyes and fangs that exited his mouth.
The king cried out, “Wife, help me. What has happened to me?”
On an impulse, Verita turned the weighty mirror framed in gold around. She told her husband, “Quickly, Alontius, approach the mirror!”
“The mirror? Why? I will not go near that beast!”
“Husband, please. I don’t know why, but I know you must approach the mirror. Now, before it’s too late!”
Doubtfully, Alontius took a step in the mirror’s direction. He felt a painful pull from it as his horrible reflection seemed to bulge out of the mirror toward him. “Verita, Verita, it’s coming toward me! It is so horribly painful! It will consume me!”
“You must approach, husband. I don’t know how I know, but I know you must approach your reflection!”
The king took another step and was drawn with greater force toward the mirror. Now the horrible reflection bulged farther toward him. He had no need to take another step. He was pulled as though by magnet toward the reflection. It seemed to grow lighter and less fearsome and he more substantial as he neared it.
The pain was excruciating, and he let out a deafening scream that was heard to the far reaches of the kingdom.
Then finally, he collapsed before the mirror, now whole and substantial as he had been before. His wife now could hold him in her arms and his children ran to him and kissed his face. Alontius held the three of them in an embrace of such power and devotion as he had never before.
And so, the kingdom was set to rights and Alontius would be forever wary of what he might wish. Under the careful guidance of his wife and counsellors, he rescinded many of the profligate laws and decrees he had passed. He attended once again to his army, and waged war against those who had violated his kingdom and his subjects, careful never to indulge in needless brutality.
But, most important of all, he gave thanks for all his many blessings, and learned to live with his very human flaws.
As my father started from my sister’s bed, I heard her ask, “Papa, why wasn’t the king happy? He had a wife and children who loved him, and he was king over all the land. Why wasn’t he happy?
I never heard an answer.
Bedtime in the sleepy Texas border town of Luz Oscura would almost always find me lying awake, listening to the disembodied sound of the dogs barking in the distance. Outside, the parched desert wind blew fiercely, scraping an orange tree’s branches against the wall and window of my brother Frank’s and my bedroom. Above me in the top bunk, Frank contentedly (I imagined) snored away. I was always envious of his ability to fall asleep the minute his head hit the pillow. For me, sleep was usually a carrot dangling just out of reach.
My baby sister Grace’s room was next to ours and almost every night I would hear our father tell her a story in efforts to send her on her way to dreamland. If anything, that blessed state was even more elusive for her than for me.
I could always hear my father’s light baritone just above the lonely howl of my canine companions in the distance. And those rare nights when the wind didn’t blow, the story came through almost word for word.
There was one story in particular I remember. I have no idea why. I also don’t know if time and imagination have enhanced or changed it substantially. It concerned a mighty and benevolent king named Alontius or Alonshus, his beautiful and infinitely clever wife, Verita and their two children, Grachine and Theobald. (I’m just guessing at the spelling of these names.)
King Alontius was very wise and beloved by all his subjects. He adored his wife, who was his chief advisor and confidant. His daughter Grachine (Grashene?) was an accomplished artist at the ripe old age of twelve. Theobald, two years his sister’s junior, had already shown a precocious (I doubt my father used that particular adjective) ability as an equestrian and was quite the musician considering his tender years.
You might think that Alontius would have been thoroughly contented. He had riches, the devotion and wise counsel of his adored wife, the loyalty of his subjects and the love of his children. He and his family lived in a glorious palace on a mountaintop where the air was pure and the weather ever pleasant.
But if you thought so you would be wrong. There was a strange feeling of emptiness that haunted Alontius. It was a prodigious yearning that, try as he might, he could give no name to. Oftentimes, Queen Verita would find her husband staring out a palace window so far in the distance and with such a look of absence that it would trouble her. “Husband, what seek you in the distance?” she would ask.
Alontius would react rather self-consciously and quickly try to assuage his queen’s worries. “Oh, nothing, nothing my dear…just admiring the beauty of the valley below and…and hoping it may be preserved for all to enjoy in the future.” And he would quickly return to affairs of state and catechize his wife concerning the annual budget or some question of property and the law.
Verita remained suspicious, but out of a sense of discretion, did not insist. I suppose these are things one must accept in a marriage, she thought to herself. Even between wife and husband there are personal thoughts and issues one keeps to oneself. But she remained unsettled.
One particularly spectacular spring day, the king went riding. He actually snuck out to avoid any of his guards accompanying him. He needed to be alone. He rode for hours on his horse, Champion, over the far corners of his kingdom. Down into the valley below he rode and came upon a particularly dense stretch of forest. From there he wandered out of curiosity into the woods outside the limits of the palace grounds.
He came upon a copse so thick that all was cast in shadow. A dense fog arose that seemed to encompass only the area of lush woodland where he presently rode. And, eerily enough, it seemed to follow him as he guided his mount in different directions. He suddenly felt drawn into a space of wonder and imagination. So unusual were his surroundings that he slowed Champion to a crawl. I have no idea where I am, he said to himself with a dose of apprehension seasoned with excitement.
Then suddenly, on a low branch of a tree he could not identify, a huge white owl appeared. He stopped, astonished. “What on earth…!” he said out loud. And to his greater befuddlement, the owl replied. “Perhaps not.”
“You…you speak!” the king replied.
“A decidedly keen observation,” the owl dryly replied.
For a moment the king was struck dumb with wonder. Finally, he regained the power of speech. “What…what are you?”
“What I am is beyond your powers of understanding. I appear only to those whose emptiness calls me to life. I feel that profound ache within you. What is it you seek?”
“I…I’m not sure.”
“Then I cannot help you. Good day.” And the monstrous owl began to fade to transparency.
“Wait! Please!”
The owl returned to substance.
“I…I wish to be the soul of virtue—the image of all that is good and wholesome.”
“And are you not virtuous: faithful to your wife, a loving father to your children? Do you not administer justice as impartially as you can for your subjects?
The king hesitated, uncertain. “I…I have temptations. I’m sometimes cross with my wife, the queen, impatient with my children. I have ruled sometimes in favor of those who were not deserving. I have made war, sent subjects to their deaths, and I have killed in battle.”
“All the faults of men.” The owl paused to see if his comment would have any effect. “But still I can feel you are unsatisfied. I can grant your wish, if you can live with the consequences.”
“Wha…what consequences.”
“Who can say? There are consequences good and bad to any of life’s choices.” The owl waited. “Well…? Do you accept the terms?”
The king faltered, but his desire was overwhelming. “I do.”
The owl spread his wings which grew to an enormous size, and a single flap raised such a powerful wind that the king was blown off his horse. When he rose from the ground the strange bird was gone.
As he dusted himself off, he had a wonderful feeling of lightness. He rather flew onto his saddle, and Champion was for his first few steps unsure of his rider. But the fog had suddenly lifted, and the king and his horse found their way back to the palace.
The queen found him in their bedroom looking out over his kingdom. She was immediately alarmed. “My Lord, are you feeling well. You look pale!”
“Never better,” he replied. And catching sight of himself in the mirror, where indeed his reflection looked rather swarthy, he continued. “You are deceived, wife; I am robust!”
In the following days, weeks and into months the king went about the business of state with renewed vigor. He passed many laws, often by decree, against the advice of the queen and his counsel. He refused to meet the threat of those opposing his reign or of foreign powers invading outlying areas of his kingdom. “No, no,” he assured, “I will send word to convince them that we mean them no harm. Once they understand that, they will become our friends and we will live together in peace.”
He began to spend more and more time isolated in prayer and meditation. And from his chamber would issue decrees without consultation, spending the resources of state in order to offer more and greater services for the people.
Queen Verita and his advisors tried to warn him of increasing imbalances in the kingdom’s accounts, debts and serious deficiencies in the realm’s army. But the king blithely ignored such warnings, passing notes through his chamber door that read, “It will all work out in the end,” and “We shall defend ourselves with reason and good will.”
Meanwhile, out of the view of the queen and his children, the king grew paler and paler. But when he would look in the mirror, he would see his reflection growing darker. He wondered at that but had grown so carefree and brimming with optimism that he eventually simply turned the mirror aside and continued in his wonted vein.
The queen was growing increasingly desperate. The king had not suffered her nor their children’s presence before him for weeks now. The coffers were empty, debts were mounting, and foreign invaders were conquering more and more of the kingdom’s territory.
One day she defied the king’s order and forced her way into his private chamber. With her were Granchine and Theobald, as the queen hoped that sight of his family might bring Alontius to his senses.
When she finally saw him, the sight horrified her. Alontius was white as snow and almost transparent. She stood with her mouth agape. “Wife, what do you here?” Alontius demanded. “You have violated my order to not be disturbed.”
“My husband, what has happened to you?”
“Why, other than having my meditations disturbed, nothing at all. Why do you ask?”
But the children were equally aghast and began to cry. So the queen approached and tried to embrace her husband. To her horror, her arms passed right through him. “Oh, my Lord, what has happened to you?”
“I…don’t know.” Now Alontius was himself frightened and tried to embrace his children. But again, he had lost all substance and his arms went through them. “Oh my God in Heaven, what can I do, Verita?” he exclaimed.
When the king had flown across the room to his children, Verita had seen just a flash of his reflection in the mirror the king had turned aside. But it was a terrifying image. It was almost completely black with jack-o’-lantern eyes and fangs that exited his mouth.
The king cried out, “Wife, help me. What has happened to me?”
On an impulse, Verita turned the weighty mirror framed in gold around. She told her husband, “Quickly, Alontius, approach the mirror!”
“The mirror? Why? I will not go near that beast!”
“Husband, please. I don’t know why, but I know you must approach the mirror. Now, before it’s too late!”
Doubtfully, Alontius took a step in the mirror’s direction. He felt a painful pull from it as his horrible reflection seemed to bulge out of the mirror toward him. “Verita, Verita, it’s coming toward me! It is so horribly painful! It will consume me!”
“You must approach, husband. I don’t know how I know, but I know you must approach your reflection!”
The king took another step and was drawn with greater force toward the mirror. Now the horrible reflection bulged farther toward him. He had no need to take another step. He was pulled as though by magnet toward the reflection. It seemed to grow lighter and less fearsome and he more substantial as he neared it.
The pain was excruciating, and he let out a deafening scream that was heard to the far reaches of the kingdom.
Then finally, he collapsed before the mirror, now whole and substantial as he had been before. His wife now could hold him in her arms and his children ran to him and kissed his face. Alontius held the three of them in an embrace of such power and devotion as he had never before.
And so, the kingdom was set to rights and Alontius would be forever wary of what he might wish. Under the careful guidance of his wife and counsellors, he rescinded many of the profligate laws and decrees he had passed. He attended once again to his army, and waged war against those who had violated his kingdom and his subjects, careful never to indulge in needless brutality.
But, most important of all, he gave thanks for all his many blessings, and learned to live with his very human flaws.
As my father started from my sister’s bed, I heard her ask, “Papa, why wasn’t the king happy? He had a wife and children who loved him, and he was king over all the land. Why wasn’t he happy?
I never heard an answer.
July 27, 2023
A Complaint
Hi Jan, thank you so much for your personalized note in the Giveaway of "The Id Paradox". I just finished it and I think there is a good story there, but honestly I was rather distracted by the prolific use of descriptive adjectives. I also found the advanced vocabulary leaving me with the question of who is your intended audience? It seems like this might lose an average novel reader.
Jan Notzon: Jo, I'm really sorry you found the vocabulary distracting. I tried to limit myself to the point at which the only appropriate word I could think of was the one I used. I do love painting as thorough a picture as I can. Perhaps I get a little carried away. I use a thesaurus only when I've used a word twice in close proximity: maybe five times in the writing of The Id Paradox. I'm really sorry it was distracting for you.
Some readers like it (as you can see from the first review I got (something along the lines of "Jan reminds us of what a rich language we have"). Another reader objected to the philosophical portion. I guess you can't please everyone.
But I very much appreciate your feedback and will keep it in mind as I continue my journey as a writer.
Jan Notzon: Jo, I'm really sorry you found the vocabulary distracting. I tried to limit myself to the point at which the only appropriate word I could think of was the one I used. I do love painting as thorough a picture as I can. Perhaps I get a little carried away. I use a thesaurus only when I've used a word twice in close proximity: maybe five times in the writing of The Id Paradox. I'm really sorry it was distracting for you.
Some readers like it (as you can see from the first review I got (something along the lines of "Jan reminds us of what a rich language we have"). Another reader objected to the philosophical portion. I guess you can't please everyone.
But I very much appreciate your feedback and will keep it in mind as I continue my journey as a writer.
July 26, 2023
West Texas
West Texas: A History of the Giant Side of the State
by Paul H. Carlson (Editor), Bruce A. Glasrud (Editor)
12121037
Jan Notzon's reviewJul 26, 2023 · edit
liked it
I'd give this book three and a half stars. It's an easy read with some interesting information about the western part of the state in which I grew up. Finding out about all the parks and protected areas makes me anxious to visit some of them.
Been to The Big Bend, Palo Duro Canyon and the adjacent state park and in and around San Angelo, where the novel I'm working on now is situated. I can really recommend the river walk in San Angelo; it is truly beautiful!
Just don't go in the summer like I did!
by Paul H. Carlson (Editor), Bruce A. Glasrud (Editor)
12121037
Jan Notzon's reviewJul 26, 2023 · edit
liked it
I'd give this book three and a half stars. It's an easy read with some interesting information about the western part of the state in which I grew up. Finding out about all the parks and protected areas makes me anxious to visit some of them.
Been to The Big Bend, Palo Duro Canyon and the adjacent state park and in and around San Angelo, where the novel I'm working on now is situated. I can really recommend the river walk in San Angelo; it is truly beautiful!
Just don't go in the summer like I did!
July 20, 2023
Discovery
I have to this date never read any of Raymond Chandler's works. After seeing this bit of dialogue from one of them, however, I will definitely do so.
It is a quote from a veteran police lieutenant:
"It's like this with us. We spend our lives turning over dirty underwear and sniffing rotten teeth. We go up dark stairways to get a gun punk with a skinful of hop and sometimes we don't get all the way up, and our wives wait dinner that night and all the other nights. We don't come home anymore. And nights we do come home, we come home so goddamn tired we can't eat or sleep or even read the lies the papers print about us."
It is a quote from a veteran police lieutenant:
"It's like this with us. We spend our lives turning over dirty underwear and sniffing rotten teeth. We go up dark stairways to get a gun punk with a skinful of hop and sometimes we don't get all the way up, and our wives wait dinner that night and all the other nights. We don't come home anymore. And nights we do come home, we come home so goddamn tired we can't eat or sleep or even read the lies the papers print about us."
July 16, 2023
Addition to And Ye Shall Be As Gods
My dear friend Barbara graciously pointed out that the announcement of my giveaway of my novel And Ye Shall Be As Gods was missing a link to be able to acquire a copy.
So, here it is:
https://goodreads.com/giveaway/show/3...
Please enjoy!
So, here it is:
https://goodreads.com/giveaway/show/3...
Please enjoy!
July 15, 2023
"Trauma" by Dr. Paul Conti
Trauma by Paul Conti MD
Trauma: The Invisible Epidemic: How Trauma Works and How We Can Heal From It
by Paul Conti MD, Lady Gaga (Introduction)
12121037
Jan Notzon's reviewJul 15, 2023 · edit
liked it
It may be the result of my prior expectations that I found this treatise only mildly enjoyable. I was hoping for a scientific analysis of the nature and effects of trauma including how it alters brain chemistry and configuration. I wish he had gone to more depth in his assertion that trauma can actually alter our DNA.
What I found was a decidedly more pedestrian accounting of trauma. Such an accounting undoubtedly has considerable value, nonetheless, as it can educate those less familiar with the concept and its toxic effects. I did find it applicable to me. To wit, instead of saying to myself, "Oh, I'm a technological klutz" I might say instead, "I have a lot to learn and must be patient with myself."
The aforementioned said, however, I suspect that Dr. Conti makes a time-honored error in looking at the world through his own area of expertise. If we had all the time in the world, we could devote the necessary hours and energy to dealing with the effects of trauma. Likewise, if such were the case, we could teach children not to traumatize each other, as children are not born compassionate.
We live in a world, unfortunately, of trade-offs. There are so many other essential pursuits for which we have limited time to pursue: gaining a marketable skill, earning a living, children acquiring mastery of "reading, writing and 'rithmatic, etc.
I also find a bit facile his prescription of basically practicing the golden rule to be the answer as far as social considerations are concerned. Yes, we should. The devil is in how we get people (and ourselves) to practice it.
Those caveats expressed, however, I do think this book makes a worthwhile contribution to the potential healing of ourselves as individuals and of society in general.
Trauma: The Invisible Epidemic: How Trauma Works and How We Can Heal From It
by Paul Conti MD, Lady Gaga (Introduction)
12121037
Jan Notzon's reviewJul 15, 2023 · edit
liked it
It may be the result of my prior expectations that I found this treatise only mildly enjoyable. I was hoping for a scientific analysis of the nature and effects of trauma including how it alters brain chemistry and configuration. I wish he had gone to more depth in his assertion that trauma can actually alter our DNA.
What I found was a decidedly more pedestrian accounting of trauma. Such an accounting undoubtedly has considerable value, nonetheless, as it can educate those less familiar with the concept and its toxic effects. I did find it applicable to me. To wit, instead of saying to myself, "Oh, I'm a technological klutz" I might say instead, "I have a lot to learn and must be patient with myself."
The aforementioned said, however, I suspect that Dr. Conti makes a time-honored error in looking at the world through his own area of expertise. If we had all the time in the world, we could devote the necessary hours and energy to dealing with the effects of trauma. Likewise, if such were the case, we could teach children not to traumatize each other, as children are not born compassionate.
We live in a world, unfortunately, of trade-offs. There are so many other essential pursuits for which we have limited time to pursue: gaining a marketable skill, earning a living, children acquiring mastery of "reading, writing and 'rithmatic, etc.
I also find a bit facile his prescription of basically practicing the golden rule to be the answer as far as social considerations are concerned. Yes, we should. The devil is in how we get people (and ourselves) to practice it.
Those caveats expressed, however, I do think this book makes a worthwhile contribution to the potential healing of ourselves as individuals and of society in general.
July 13, 2023
An Ye Shall Be As Gods
I've just scheduled a giveaway of my novel And Ye Shall Be As Gods running from July 16-28. I thoughtlessly did it for only 20 copies when it costs the same for 100. Oh well, live and learn.
For my money, though it was only the second of my novels, I consider it my best. As reviewers have noted, plots and subplots deliciously intertwine. I also believe it to have the greatest payoff in the denouement and climax of any of my stories.
It is the story of Jacob Kazmareck, his desperate quest to find the origin--and therefore hopefully the cure--of his beloved baby-sister's descent into despair and his lost love's imprisonment in catatonia.
On his way, he is confronted with evils past and present, as a public defender in Austin, Texas, a teacher in New York and back to his home in Aguagria, a town on the Mexican border.
He finds a curious connection between the devils that haunt his sister and those that have imprisoned his love, Dolores, in madness. They more like sisters than best friends growing up.
Those convergent paths lead Jake to find the evil he seeks in a most unexpected and harrowing place.
Here's the link to get a copy: https://goodreads.com/giveaway/show/3...
For my money, though it was only the second of my novels, I consider it my best. As reviewers have noted, plots and subplots deliciously intertwine. I also believe it to have the greatest payoff in the denouement and climax of any of my stories.
It is the story of Jacob Kazmareck, his desperate quest to find the origin--and therefore hopefully the cure--of his beloved baby-sister's descent into despair and his lost love's imprisonment in catatonia.
On his way, he is confronted with evils past and present, as a public defender in Austin, Texas, a teacher in New York and back to his home in Aguagria, a town on the Mexican border.
He finds a curious connection between the devils that haunt his sister and those that have imprisoned his love, Dolores, in madness. They more like sisters than best friends growing up.
Those convergent paths lead Jake to find the evil he seeks in a most unexpected and harrowing place.
Here's the link to get a copy: https://goodreads.com/giveaway/show/3...
