Mary Biddinger's Blog, page 28

Progress(ish)

So, we're ankle-deep in April, and I have yet to make any comment here. You may thank strep for that, a very bad case that knocked me thoroughly out of commission for over a week. I'm only just starting to feel like myself again, and even then it's slow going.

After canceling a week's worth of classes (and not being able to answer emails or annotate poems, or anything, really) I came back this week and made it through. I really hope that the rest of this year is smoother sailing. It's been a real bummer in the health department lately.

Three more weeks of the semester. Trying to keep up with it, but kind of in disbelief.

Two new poems in the very awesome Devil's Lake. A bunch more forthcoming in other places, which makes me happy.

We have a plethora of new reviews over at Barn Owl Review. Check 'em out. We begin accepting submissions of poetry on June 1st. Holy cow.

Tomorrow it's supposed to be 81 degrees. Right now I'm wearing three shirts and I have the heat on.

Spring and Un-Spring

This week just whipped right past me like an express train that couldn't stop if it wanted to. It was a maelstrom of girl scout cookies, student poems, appointments filling up the month of April in my calendar, and the ever-drama of Snowflake, No Snowflake. Last weekend we decided to relax a little (it was the end of spring break, after all) and did the traditional "leave the leftover leaves in the flower beds" move that has saved my crocuses and daffodils year after year. And behold, this morning a coating of wicked ice, and snow in all the deep pockets, and by afternoon the flowers were blooming again.

Note: Please don't take this as an invitation to throw one more bad storm our way, mother nature. I do not trust you one bit, but I do fear you.

Today I finished formatting my newest manuscript. I didn't want to get the new version of word, but it actually makes things much easier. I began feeling like a page-break-inserting machine for a while, but otherwise it was a pleasant experience, after needing several rounds of sequencing (I eventually gave up on the floor and opted for the long conference table; the book is in three sections, and I spread each section end-to-end along the table).

The book has a lot of funny poems in it, so I was surprised that it wasn't funny overall--there's definitely an undertone of sorrow. Maybe all the elegies have something to do with that. Anyway, tomorrow I will print it and see what it has to tell me.

[Instrumental Interlude Deux]

If you were trying to use the ladies' loo at the Linda theater last Saturday afternoon, and saw some shady character with a camera lurking in the shadows, that was me, and I'm not sorry, and I hope this photo is worth your annoyance/trauma. It certainly is to me. Thanks.

At the beginning of this break I was determined to let myself exist out of the office and off the office grid as much as possible. I'm happy to say that I have achieved this goal. I've spent much time with the kids, in the outdoors, at the gym, and away from my desk. Miraculously, my crippling carpal tunnel is now so much better that I can get back to boxing and arm-wrestling, my two passions! Just kidding. But it's so nice being able to fully function again. Add to list of things I will no longer take for granted: hands, and full use thereof.

This Saint Patrick's Day was different from many in the past (for example, we took the kids golfing, which is pretty darn wholesome compared to logging twelve hours in the bar; we logged a few earlier today, but that's all). Now I'm thoroughly relaxed and happy and ready to go to bed. Hardly a raucous party, and I'm rather pleased.

Oh, and back to the break. I haven't sequenced the manuscript yet, formally, but I do have all the pages ready-ish, and I'm sending more poems out. I think I've sent out more poems in the past three months than I have in some years. I need to do some revising. I want to write more poems. I need to figure out what this book is about. But I'm trying to make this spring break a break, so no pushing.

Saw some crocuses today, and can't wait for mine to bloom.

[Instrumental Interlude]

Welcome to the close of day #2 of Spring Break. I am 1) Not working on academic or administrative stuff, 2) Not answering emails for academic or administrative stuff (unless it's truly urgent), 3) Deep in the throes of some Spring Fever, made even more potent by playing outside yesterday with my family: multiple sports, hats and mittens, but snowdrops at the edges of the lawn.

I have some goals for the break (it's a week), but they're loose ones. Like, it would be kind of awesome if I managed to organize my workout clothes. But it's probably not going to happen. Etc. My big goal has been to sequence my new collection of poems. Step one, after printing the poems up, was to be crushed by self-doubt. Will the different types of poems work together? Is it just trail mix, or a real book?

I was prepared to give it more time, but then I reread everything and was like hell, this is a book, 64 pages when some lukewarm poems were taken out. It includes two poems written today. So I will indeed be sequencing and formatting, probably tomorrow. And revising on the fly, too. Such dangerous living!

And there is absolutely no name for this book yet, which is strange. Tomorrow morning I will vacuum the living room, move some furniture, and put 64 pages on the floor.

To be continued. Yeah.

Rebirth of the Same.

I've always wondered where barrels go when they are feeling less than peachy. It takes a lot of energy to be that bright and directive. Or maybe there's an imminent safety issue under this trailer. In any case, I think we're covered.

Portrait of an Unfinished Bridge that Has Had Enough of Winter and Isn't Afraid to Shout This Fact from the Rooftops of Downtown Akron, Ohio. Dumpster and Distant Steeple Included.

Gratuitous tree-shot, because this is why we still live here.

In fifteen minutes I will be on spring break. And I'm taking a break. Not from the blog, but from work in general. Hoping to sequence a new book of poems. Hoping the week doesn't go by too quickly.

Next Thursday I start occupational therapy for my carpal tunnel. Apparently it's pretty bad, especially in my left hand. I have to sleep with braces on, and every night I try to take them off in my sleep. The braces are velcro-operated, not coin-operated (yet).

Over and out, from Akron.

The somethingscape.

Dear Readers, we are no longer snowbound (for now, knock on wood, etc) here in Akron, Ohio. I'm sorry I didn't check in sooner to tell you that. Last week's Universe-Imposed Hiatus (UIH?) was helpful in terms of getting sleep and hanging out with children, albeit sick children, and observing what the cats do all day, which is pretty much nothing, then a little stampeding, but it sure set me back in the poems-annotating department. Last night I finally called it quits at 10:00 pm. Tomorrow morning I'm taking care of some stuff at the Press, then getting my hand checked out again (some crazy tendon pain thing, though thankfully it's my left not my right).

In other news, I've put together a rough compilation of my newest manuscript. You can find a sampling of its poems here in the new issue of diode. I still feel like I have a thousand more poems to write, but I'm putting it together nonetheless. And I have to say that I'm proud of myself for getting motivated in the sending-out department, as I've had a bunch of poems accepted in the past couple of weeks. I keep telling myself that once I get _______ manuscript finished I will begin properly tending and cataloging my poems, but then I just write too many poems. Maybe a better option would be to print them out and keep them in a binder? I don't know.

Lately I've been trying to interpret what the world is telling me (well, not this, which is just awful, especially for someone like me who expressly wanted to get a job in Ohio, I mean, intentionally searched for a job in Ohio, but other things). I guess the UIH made me a little more relaxed or something. Or maybe just taking some time to think about how much I love my job, and how much I like it here. I took a walk across campus and every time I do that it just makes me glad.

Onward toward the weekend, which I hope will be a restful one.

When snow calls all the shots [and all the shots are bad].

I was born in California, but didn't live there so long that it made me less snow-worthy. I'm pretty much a die hard Midwesterner now. But nature, what the fuck? We're snowed in again here in Akron, Ohio. The kids had a snow day on Tuesday, and everything (universities included) is closed today. Add to that the fact that Monday was a holiday, and I have two sick children who were out of school the days that we didn't have a snowtastrophe, and you get the strangest, least productive week ever on earth, I fear.

I had such ambitious hopes for this week! Working on sequencing my new manuscript. Writing poems. Reading (for work, and for fun). Annotating student poems in a leisurely fashion. But instead I've had kids coughing, puking, whining, thankfully not fighting because too sick, waking up at night, crying, making extravagant demands, etc. I did manage to teach my one class of the week and make it to my meeting, but shortly after I had to speed home to the infirmary.

So no new poems, no gym, no catching up (though I did get more sleep than usual, which is always welcome), very little reading, but you know what? So far I am not sick. I'm not sick! And that makes this all sort of okay. I also thought ahead and brought my student poems home with me, so hopefully I will be able to do some work. I need to learn how to annotate while being pestered.

Hoping the kids' strep tests come out negative, and that it stops snowing eventually. People looked at me like a lunatic yesterday when I was frantically filling my grocery cart, but I am rather glad I stocked up while I could.

Could this please be the last major storm of the winter?

Please?

Pictured above, this year's incarnation of the wind chime icicle.

Just like [ ].

I'm destined to be confused all week, but in a good way. Kid out of school today, but university closed tomorrow (good news for those of us who teach on Tuesdays, since we actually get a day off). That means no night class, and an extra week to hang out with student poems and the two books we'll be discussing: Money for Sunsets by Elizabeth Colen and Destruction Myth by Mathias Svalina.

One of my favorite parts of discussing single-author poetry books is the day when everyone (hopefully...) brings the book to class, and you get to see the vast sea of lovely covers flooding the entire classroom. It makes me so happy.

Snowing like crazy out there. What the heck. Goodbye hint of green lawn. Yesterday I (optimistically) put out our "Welcome Spring" garden flag, and observed some daffodils growing around the foundation of the house. This morning the flag was stiff with ice and snow. It crunched like a potato chip when I unfurled it.

The daffodils should be tough enough to hack it.

In happier news, I read my new poems last night and I think people rather liked them. They were so much fun to read. I feel like a traitor sometimes because I always want to read my very newest poems and not my hits and dusties.

In the update department: Submishmash is even awesomer when you get an acceptance. Yeah!

I am trying to get back to writing formal, disposable daily to-do lists. I have a few items left for today, so will now sign off. Hope I don't need to add major snow removal to the list.

Underpin[n]ings

Thanks to the special miracle called Presidents (Presidents'? President's? Presidentses?) Day, my work pile is currently stabilized. Please do not interpret this as meaning that I am bored and idle and hankering to write a last-minute recommendation letter or to help you polish the gravel on your driveway. I have plenty to do. But I'm somewhat caught up, at least for this afternoon.

In most urgent news, there have been some new poems. Written by me! I am not especially in love with them, but they exist. I also found18-ish pages of poems I had forgotten about, written over the summer, so I've been chasing them around the yard with a paring knife. Or at least thinking about it.

In unrelated news, it's funny how a piece of lemon pound cake can completely turn my mood from gloomy to happy. Maybe it was the walk to get the pound cake. Or the fact that I told myself that it was okay to eat the pound cake instead of the last clementine lingering in my office fridge. I'm sure I will eat that too, by EOB today.

It's pretty empty here in the office right now. Where is everybody? It's warm out (my phone says 56 degrees) but too cloudy and gray to be truly frolicworthy.

I must confess that I've fallen a bit in love with Submishmash. I was a stalwart paper und envelope girl until now. This week I started kicking my ass a little in the submissions department, and wow, that Submishmash is just plain fun. We're even thinking of maybe using it for BOR.

Making a big trip to the post office tomorrow. Doing two readings in Cleveland this weekend. Hoping for more poems, and perhaps some relaxing, too, if I am lucky.

Ordinary(ish) time.

Can tomorrow really be just Wednesday? I think we have weathered enough (literally and figuratively) to deserve at least a Thursday, if not better.

AWP went by so quickly that I barely got to process it before it was over. Two of my UA Press homeboys, Nick Sturm and Michael Goroff, did a pretty sweet wrap-up over here at the press blog. Now I am heavily planning for AWP Chicago. It's going to be the fifth anniversary of Barn Owl Review, and there will be festivities. Stay tuned. In related BOR news, contributor copies and subscriptions are going out this week. It's a really awesome issue. So excited to get it out into the world.

Right now I'm full of energy in the ideas department, which is frustrating because all I can do is comment on poems and undertake administrative tasks. I'm doing two readings this weekend and I would really like to have a new poem for one of them. I am finding it hard to block out time to write lately. I believe I have written only 2-3 poems in 2011. I need to get my urgency back.

Still under ice and snow here, but there was some sunshine this afternoon, which made a rather enormous difference.