Kelli Russell Agodon's Blog, page 92

Getting the Facebook Monkey off my Back and the Underwear Off One's Head (Facebook Fridays check-in)

The First Week---



I wanted to check-in as this will be my first week of Facebook Fridays (meaning, I only check-in on Facebook on Fridays) to let you know how it was going.



I think the first couple days were the hardest (not in that I was missing Facebook, I really wasn't), but that I realized had that habit-button in my head--oh, some down time, dear fingers, please type in www.facebook...and see what comes up.  



This made me realize how many times that thought to check Facebook and to absent-mindly go there happened during my daily writing.  While I didn't give into the thought/temptation, I was made aware how many times I used Facebook during the day to burn-off some extra time.



And really, is it extra time?  No, there are no extra minutes on our life clock.  We each get X number of minutes, though we can't really calculate for X until we are R.I.P.



~

One Change to Facebook Fridays--



I did realize I need to make one amendment to my Facebook Friday as I chose to make two visits to respond to messages (though I stayed off the homepage with status reports and everything else).



This was the the main thing I realized this week through Facebook is that some important requests and information DO come through Facebook.  It is a major way people contact me.



So my amendment to my Facebook Fridays is that--- I will go on Facebook if I need to respond to a personal message-- but I will only go to the message, respond, then immediately leave the Facebook vortex.



As I said, this happened to me twice this week.  (Once from a Canadian poet asking me to read in March, and once from my cousin Bobby, needing my travel plans for a visit to see him.)  Both needed to be responded to in a timely manner, so I did.



~



So here are the things I've learned in my week without Facebook:





1. It's much easier than I thought.

2. Facebook can exist like a Fight Club motto:  When you're not on Facebook, you don't what happens on Facebook.



3.  Facebook still has its usefulness and needs (i.e. personal messages, that may have some urgency to them that one week may be too long to wait in responding)



4.  I don't miss reading status updates.



5.  I don't miss writing status updates. (Though one day in the kitchen I did think in third person, "Kelli is wondering what projects everyone is working on..." )



6.  I can easily go more than a week without checking Facebook (with the exception of personal messages) and this may morph into Facebook Every-other-Friday (though definitely not as fun to say as Facebook Fridays).



~~



It's Not You, It's Me --



And a final note, to my FB friends who thought I was talking about them when I wrote what bothers me about Facebook, please know-- I wasn't.  I actually didn't have any particular person in mind, just a generalization about how FB can be used sometimes.



And in fact, I have only defriended two people who did this to me-- a long time ago a man who sent me SO many personal messages, virtual hugs, virtual chocolate, invitations to join his Mafia war, and special invites to his events in California you would have thought we were long time acquaintances and/or lovers, and that perhaps, I lived in California and actually knew who he was.



My second defriending was of a woman with a cheesy author photo who really didn't care about me or poetry, but in amassing huge amounts of "friends" to sell her services to.  These were the only two actual people who came to mind during that post.





I should have made this clear because I know sometimes reading someone's blog you are convinced they are talking about you, but honestly, dear reader, dear FB friend, my thoughts were not related from any current event, FB interaction, or wall post.  It was just my own baggage of a few years on FB.



So to the lovely people who wrote, (many interestingly enough whose names started with an S) as well as the other letters, who thought they just happened or kind of fit the description to my annoyance-- no worries, it wasn't you.



And isn't that always the way?



Usually if you're the person who thinks you're annoying, you're not.  It's the guy standing in the corner humming Shaun Cassidy songs and wearing underwear on his head, completely oblivious that his social skills might be out-of-whack.



P.S.  Because I am a poet, I find out-of-whack social skills quite endearing (minus the underwear on the head, that's a usual turn-off.)  And I did once write a fan letter to Shaun Cassidy, though I'll save that for another day...   Da-do-run-run.



Thanks for reading!

Thankful Thursday - Alison Stine

For today's Thankful Thursday, I am thankful for poet, Alison Stine.  







I have both of Ali's first books, her chapbook Lot of My Sister (Wick Poetry Chapbook Series, Ser. 2, No. 10) as well as her first collection, Ohio Violence (Vassar Miller Prize in Poetry).  

Well, I just learned that her second full collection is coming out!  It's called Wait and yes it won the Brittingham Prize in Poetry!  

Her book will be published in March, but I also have it from a very reliable source that there will be for sale early at the AWP Conference Bookfair in Washington D.C.( February 2-5, 2011) at The University of Wisconsin Press booth. 

Here's a sneak peak at the cover (look for the girl on the wall): 

Alison is planning on being at the book fair Friday February 4, 2011, but there is a possibility she may not make it as she and her husband are waiting for their first child!



Here's the synopsis for WAIT:

In a small town under a spell, a child bride prays for the sheriff's gun. Iron under a bed stops a nightmare. The carousel artist can carve only birds. Part fairy tale, part gothic ballad, WAIT spans a single year: the year before a young girl's marriage. Someone is always watching—from the warehouse, from the woods. And on the outskirts of town, someone new is waiting.

Here's her book trailer as well: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KS8OA_N9rjY



You can learn more about Alison at:

http://www.alisonstine.com




I think she's an incredible poet and I'm looking forward to seeing how (and if) her work changes after her first child.  I guess I'm saying, I'm already looking forward to her third collection!



Congrats to Ali on both the book and the baby!  Two new creations entering the world this new year!

How to Start Out Your New Year with a Poetry Action Plan - by January Gill O'Neil -

January O'Neil (aka PoetMom) is someone I admire for her dedication and organization.



She recently wrote a post about how to create a Poetry Action Plan.  As a Capricorn and unashamed planner, I love things like that.



Here's the first step in what she wrote on her blog (my notes/comments are below it in purple):





5 Steps to Creating a Poetry Action PlanIf you're interested in creating a Poetry Action Plan (PAP) for yourself, here are a few suggestions. Note: it should be flexible enough to morph and change as your life changes.



Define your goals. What is most important to you as a writer? Is it practicing your craft? Do you want to read your work in public? Is this the year you finally complete your manuscript? Whatever it is, name it, claim it, and put it at the top of your list.
****January hits on what is probably the most important part of any action plan or goal setting.  You need to determine what the best goals for you .  

For one person, a goal may be becoming more comfortable with readings.  For another, it may be submitting your work (more or for the first time).  Someone else may want to write a long poem or a sestina.  Each of us have things we want to accomplish.  

So much of life is not about looking at what your neighbor is doing --- remember when the teacher would say that in school: "Kelli, don't pay attention to what your neighbor is up to" (or maybe this was just my teacher...he also said, "Kelli, quit chatting" quite a lot).  This idea of focusing on ourselves is *so* important when figuring out where we wnat to go in life.

Our goals, resolutions, plans, actions, and  our lives need to be specially created for us.  By us.

I am a big believer that goals and plans work and are needed in both our regular lives and our creative lives.  For me, it's a good time of year to look at what I've done and where I'm going.

What creative projects do I want to work on?What is taking my time away from my writing life?Who supports me?  Who doesn't?What can I do differently?  What can I do better?

What should I say no to?  What should I say yes to?







One thing is sure, there is no right way to be poet, artist or writer.  There is your way.  





When I look at my goals in my poetry life they are to figure out how I can give back and what I can do for others, as well as work on keeping what I call a "retreat mind" -- that is the mind that doesn't get caught up in celebrities without their make-up or who broke up with whom. It is not the mind that spends endless hours chatting about people instead of ideas or scans the internet trying to find the best price on skullcandy earbuds (Amazon seems to be the best price on the blue ones...um, not that I would know.) 





For me it's living simply and deliberately.  It's remembering to pay attention to the details around me.  And honestly, I'm sure there are people who just live this way all the time, but I must make a conscious effort to do it.  I have to remind myself daily.  Some days it's easy, I make all great decisions.  Other days, not so much.





But I could go on for awhile on this, but I want you to make your own Poetry Action Plan and think about what's important to you.

January has the other four steps to her Action Plan here if you want to check it out How to Make a Poetry Action Plan.  

Friendship Approved... Bark on! - A Writer on "Transformational Jealousy"

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I just learned that a fellow poet and writer, Shira Richman, wrote *the nicest* piece on "Transformational Jealousy" that mentions me & Crab Creek Review (the journal I edit)-- You can read the whole thing here on The Bark.



A couple things-- First, I love the idea of "transformational jealousy," meaning that admiration (or jealousy!) of another writer can spark your own writing.



I'm trying to think what poets have inspired me that way.  Definitely Kim Addonizio with her blog, she was the first poet I knew was blogging and I loved how she would put all the real details in-- like being rejected!





Second, Shira mentions she just made a friendship request to me on Facebook (the kind I don't like with no note, you know, the stuff I was yack-yacking about).  Shira, yes, of course, I will approve you...of course, I can't do that until Friday!



Anyway, I think this one thing that I love about having a blog, you never know where it will lead to and what will happen because of it.





Oh and to anyone who is now afraid to "friend" me on Facebook because of my complaint session in today's confessional.  Just know, I talk a loud talk, but ultimately, unless you're creepy, consider us friends.



Thanks for the mention, Shira.  Loved your article.

Confession Tuesday - Facebook Edition

I confess it's been a new year since I've last written.

I've been trying to organize my life, make sure my use of time is in sync with my priorities and what I realize is that I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook.  I confess I both love checking in there and don't.

So to start off the new year, I think I'll confess all my Facebook sins (or maybe they are complaints) to get them off my chest, so Facebook and I can have a healthy relationship revolving around respect and consideration.  Though Facebook says, "I am breaking up with you" - or maybe I'm saying that...

To the 2011 confessional --



I confess I currently have 28 friend requests awaiting confirmation.  And when I say "friends" I mean, "people I haven't met yet."

~

I confess confirming someone as a friend has become a little harder for me.  When I first showed up on Facebook all sparkly-eyed, I was everyone's friend.  I went to every wall, caught every hatching egg and send some back, I danced the watusi with whoever asked.

But then I realized, some of my new friends weren't really interested staying up late with me to watch the moon appear from behind the barn, but s/he just wanted a bigger number on their own friend lists.  Some just wanted to sell me something. And some were just creepers lurking behind a cute profile pic.

So now I check profiles to see what we have in common.  Oh, you're a writer?  You're someone who loves libraries?  You love books?  Welcome friend.  But you, over there in the corner with the profile pic of a slaughtered cow, not so fast.  You there, the one in the Where's Waldo hat whose favorite sport dancing nekkid for your ex-frat brothers and MILFs...move along...  

~

I confess I so dislike becoming a friend with someone and having them immediately promote their book/agenda on my wall or by private message.  C. Dale mentioned this too the other day, so I'm guessing it's annoying to some. Or most.

And it's not that I mind someone sharing their work, book, life with me, but it's so immediate.  We haven't exchanged hellos, I have no idea who they are and they aren't asking, "How are you?"  but instead exclaiming, "Here's how I AM!"  

It's a manners thing really.  I want my first correspondence with someone to be an authentic conversation not to realize I'm just a marketing target.

~

I confess I like it best when someone writes a personal message to me when they ask to be friends and if they have a real profile pic of what they look like. 

I love it when someone writes: "Hi I read your blog" or "I saw you read at the Frye Museum" then I understand why they choose me as a friend.  It helps me sort out the future friends from the current creepers.  Of course, a creeper could read this blog and friend me, but honestly, it's just nice to see how someone knows me or why they choose me as a friend.  One person wrote, "We have 459 friends in common, I think I should know you..." Good enough!  At least I know there's someone on the other side of that profile pic.  Someone who can write and respond.

Though I confess I have asked a famous poet to be my friend, but not written a personal message because I was feeling too shy.  Because of this, I don't not friend someone in the FB friendship world because I know it can be hard to figure out what to say.

~

I confess even with all my above complaints, I have "met" some incredible people, poets and writers who I wouldn't have met without Facebook.



I have two friends that I know because one has my exact maiden name and one has my father's exact name.  What's interesting about these two is that they both are in the military - and they are 2 of the coolest people I have met through Facebook. 

~

I confess the thing I most dislike about Facebook is the amount of time it takes away from things that really, are more important.  Because of this I've established "Facebook Fridays" for myself this year, my New Year's Resolution.

I was amazed how many people said there was no way they could just check in on Friday.  Though I kind of think that's like saying you can't give up your TV or your favorite show as once you do it, you don't miss it.  

What is wonderful about this New Year's Resolution is that if I fail, I fail publicly.  Public humiliation is a fine motivator.  

~

I confess the only day that's not a Friday I want to (and just may) appear on Facebook is Sunday, January 9th, my birthday.  Facebook birthday wishes are probably my very favorite part about Facebook that and meeting new poets.  Though I confess my shallow part would say it's seeing what my high school friends look like now- the second reason I find Facebook fun, a virtual reunion complete with family photos.  

To Facebook Fridays...wish me luck!

Amen.

37 literary resolutions for 2011. What's yours?

From the LA Times Books blog--

Three of my favorites:



Janet Fitch, author of "Paint it Black" and "White Oleander." My book-related resolution for 2011: To converse more with my books. To write in the margins. To read books that irritate me, inspire me, challenge the way I write, or in some way cast new light on this crazy life we lead. And I also resolve to shape these conversations into essays for the new LA Review of Books, starting up this spring.

Los Angeles Times book critic David L. Ulin: I resolve to follow my instincts, to read with joy and whimsy, to carve out time to read books for myself as well as for review. To read something not in galleys. Or to read only books in galleys, if that's the way it goes. Most of all, I resolve to feel free to sidestep all my resolutions, since I never follow through on them anyway.

Emily Pullen of Skylight Books in Los Angeles: I resolve not to be suffocated or crushed by books in my tiny apartment.



Read all of them here: 37 literary resolutions for 2011. What's yours?

A Friendship: A Literary Conversation Between To Poets: Kelli Russell Agodon & Susan Rich

Susan Rich and I had a correspondence about the importance of friendship during our writing retreat in December and I wanted to share some of it here.







Dear Kelli,Here is the secret nobody knows: poets need friends. OK. You know it, I know it, and so did Elizabeth Bishop. From Brooklyn over the Brooklyn Bridge this fine morning please come flying. In "Invitation to Miss Marianne Moore," Elizabeth Bishop celebrates her deep friendship with another woman poet: her mentor and lifelong friend, Marianne Moore.I know that Bishop and Moore shared poems, went on outings to the zoo together, and when Bishop moved to Brazil in 1951, wrote long letters. Our friendship, now almost a decade old, impacts my writing life in important and magical ways. Do you remember when we first met? We both had poems for the Poetry on the Busses anthology and were reading at the Seattle Art Museum. Your daughter, an infant at the time, let out an enormous cry when you took the podium. "That's my daughter," you said without missing a beat.I liked you right from the start, but it probably took your organizing a reading for Poets for Peace for us to see each other again. I didn't realize until right now that our friendship was connected to the aftermath of September 11th — and the need for poets to come together and speak out against the witch-hunt mentality of that moment. That you brought so many poets together — anyone in Seattle who wanted to join us, it seemed — at such an uncertain time gave me a strong sense that you were someone I needed to know better. . .



You can read the full conversation here.





This is in the Centrum Writers Conference's new journal, Taller.  Susan & I will both be teaching at Centrum this year along with Dorianne Laux, Carl Phillips, Pam Houston, Cate Marvin, Midge Raymond, Wendy Call, Elizabeth Austen and others.

What's in the Future for Book of Kells...

I've been thinking about this blog for 2011.



I'm going to continue Confession Tuesday because well, I'm Catholic and it's just much more fun to virtually confess (plus, a few of you have mentioned to me that this your favorite day on Book of Kells).



I will also continue Thankful Thursday, but with a slight change in focus. Since one of my goals for 2011 is to focus on what I can do for others, I'm thinking my Thankful Thursday post will highlight someone.  It will be a way to share someone's project, someone's blog, someone's idea, someone's art, someone's "something" with you.  It will be someone or something that I am thankful is in the world.



I also have some requests for blog topics on putting a manuscript together, my thoughts on poetry contests (and recommendations), my writing practice in regards to discipline and staying focused as well as my work as a teacher/mentor to other poets.



There will definitely be talk about poetry, book, writing, the writing life, living creatively, art, organization, and things that inspire me or that I love, but the rest, we will just leave that to the months ahead to sort out.



What I can promise you here... I will do my best to be interesting as well as honest and authentic.



Thanks for reading into 2011...

Beautiful Winner: Stephanie! Now the owner of Letters from the Emily Dickinson Room

I have the winner of the Christmas Gratitude Giveaway for her very own copy of Letters From the Emily Dickinson Room.

















It's Stephanie who wrote poetically that she is grateful for everything in her beautiful little life.  



























Stephanie said...







I'm grateful for everything in my beautiful little life.



This is a great thing you're doing. Best to you and your family this season.



~



Stephanie can now be grateful for some new reading material in the new year.  Stephanie, I left you a note on your blog and you can send your mailing address to me at:  kelli (at) agodon.com



____________



Thank you all for letting me know what you were grateful for. I SO enjoyed reading your lists and thoughts.  Really, that ended up being one of my favorite posts just for the lists of thankfulness commented down the page.

Poets on the Coast: A Weekend Writing Retreat for Women at the Sylvia Beach Hotel in Oregon!

Some exciting news for 2011:  Susan Rich & I are going to be teaching a weekend-long writing retreat for women poets on the Oregon Coast!  AND it's at the Sylvia Beach Hotel, the same hotel that inspired my book, Letters From the Emily Dickinson Room.



Where I completed my book




We are just putting up all the details on how to register for the weekend and they can be found here along with frequently asked questions.

The main things to know is that it's scheduled for the weekend of September 9-11, 2011 in Newport, Oregon for a limited number of writers & if you sign up before Valentine's day (February 14th, 2011) it will be $250 to attend all the sessions beginning Friday evening to Sunday afternoon (after 2/14/11 the price goes up).  You are welcome to book a room at the Sylvia Beach Hotel (alone or share with a friend) or you are welcome to stay "off-campus" and commute in, whatever works best for you.

The Sylvia Beach Hotel is an incredible literary-themed hotel right on the Oregon coast and I am so excited to be returning with Susan and to be working with women who want to spend a weekend focusing on their writing.  





The Emily Dickinson Room at the Sylvia Beach Hotel




Anyway, all the details, FAQs, and registration forms can be found here is you're interested.  I think it's going to be an amazing weekend!



















I'll be sharing more info as we have it, but wanted to let you know here first because if you wanted to do something nice for yourself this new year to honor your writing, this might be something you'd like to attend.