Kelli Russell Agodon's Blog, page 21

Postcard from Julia Child

By the way, I HIGHLY recommend My Life in France by Julia Child if you haven't read it.



~ Kells


Don't Miss a Post ~ Subscribe to Book of Kells by EmailKelli Russell Agodon
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Tinderbox: A New Poetry Journal & Two New Poems & The Stories Behind Them:

Honored to be in the first issue of Tinderbox Poetry Journal!

Here are two new poems of mine out in the world:


1)  After the Death of a Friend, I Feel Enlightened for Approximately Three Days

****Since turning 42, the meaning of life year, I've lost two friends of mine from high school unexpected. They both died surprising deaths--one a heart attack, one told her children she was going to lie down for a nap and she never woke up.

When it happened, we were all shocked. I remember the big visual of LIFE IS TEMPORARY flashing through my brain. . .and yet. For three days, I felt connected to something larger, a reconnection to myself and the meaning that this is our life, right now, pay attention, don't waste it.  Then like most human beings, I forgot, got caught up in the hubbub of daily life.

I wrote this poem to remember these two women as well as to remind myself how I felt when they passed and to work on being in the moment, loving life, and not focusing on the small problems we all have. (I'm still working on it.)



2)  Self Portrait with Imaginary Brother


This poem is an ekphrastic after this painting by William de Kooning of the same name.

I have four older sisters and many girlfriends, but I have always had a lot of guy friends (especially during my tomboy years) as I have always found that I appreciate my male friends (many who are like brothers to me) because I enjoy talking to them and hearing their opinions and views on things. 

In this poem, I imagine having a brother, and in a certain respect, the "brother" in the poem also feels like God to me.


~


So now you know the story behind the poems...

~ Kells
Don't Miss a Post ~ Subscribe to Book of Kells by EmailKelli Russell Agodon
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Poetry Reading on Bainbridge Island, WA: June 22 at 3 pm - St. Barnabuas Episcopal Church

~ Kells
Don't Miss a Post ~ Subscribe to Book of Kells by EmailKelli Russell Agodon
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Postcard from Mary Oliver

P.S.  I found the amazing image above here:  http://the-octopus-garden.blogspot.com/2012/03/have-wonderful-weekend.html

~ Kells
Don't Miss a Post ~ Subscribe to Book of Kells by EmailKelli Russell Agodon
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Postcard from Langston Hughes

Langston Hughes, photographed by Gordon Parks (1941)
Dream VariationsLangston Hughes, 1902 - 1967To fling my arms wide
In some place of the sun,
To whirl and to dance
Till the white day is done.
Then rest at cool evening
Beneath a tall tree
While night comes on gently,
Dark like me—
That is my dream!

To fling my arms wide
In the face of the sun,
Dance! Whirl! Whirl!
Till the quick day is done.
Rest at pale evening . . .
A tall, slim tree . . .
Night coming tenderly
Black like me.
From The Collected Poems of Langston Hughes, published by Alfred A. Knopf, Inc., 1994.

From Poets.org  Go here for more Langston Hughes poems and information.

~ Kells
Don't Miss a Post ~ Subscribe to Book of Kells by EmailKelli Russell Agodon
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Postcard of Courage from Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde, from An Ideal Husband


~ Kells
Don't Miss a Post ~ Subscribe to Book of Kells by EmailKelli Russell Agodon
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Confession Saturday: Summer is on Deck Edition

My part of the world...

Dear Reader, 

I am late since my last confession, and late all around in regards to this blog.  What can I say?  Life has wrapped its vines around my wrists or better-- my attention.

When summer comes, I tend to disappear from the online world.


One interesting thing for me this year, this summer, is that Two Sylvias Press is officially a *thing*-- a business, a small press, a passion.

Because of that, I will be reading submissions to our chapbook contest all summer and honestly, I can't wait to do this.  (By the way, if you have a poetry chapbook and want to submit to our Two Sylvias Press chapbook contest , 
the deadline is next Monday, June 16.  Here's the link to the info.)

Our judge is the amazing Aimee Nezhukumatathil (she's be choosing the final winner) and we are honored to have Aimee judge our first ever chapbook prize. That support means so much to us.

~
I confess with Two Sylvias Press, my book coming out, and just my personal life in general, my blog has fallen to the sidelines.  

I know it still has readers, so I keep it going (and also, I like having a blog as I feel it gives me a quick connection to other readers and writers), but I also feel bad when I neglect it. So, while there may not be many of you, I know there are some dedicated readers, and if you've missed my posts this year, apologies.  

I do hope to be better (especially in the fall) and I do hope to schedule a few "postcard" blog posts throughout the summer.

Also, if you do want to stay connected, I bounce around to these places with absolutely no sense of when or why, but if you're on any of these and want to connect, please feel free--

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/kellia  (friend me here)
                     https://www.facebook.com/agodon (follow my author page here)

Twitter:  @kelliagodon

Instagram: http://instagram.com/agodon (I made my account public again)

Tumblr: http://kelliagodon.tumblr.com/  I rarely use this, but there you are.



~

I confess this spring I have been writing a lot.  Well, actually since October.  I've found the less time I have, the more I want to write.

I truly having too much time can be a negative for creativity.

There is something about knowing you have X hours to work on your art that makes you either let go, stop censoring yourself, or just create with a passion that may not happen without time boundaries.

This is how it works for me.  The less time I have, the more I want to write.

And if people want to control my time, I get cranky and write even more.

~

So, there's my quick update!  I'll be back online in September...

Happy three months of deconnecting!

Amen.



~ Kells
Don't Miss a Post ~ Subscribe to Book of Kells by EmailKelli Russell Agodon
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Confession Tuesday: The Catching Up Edition

Dear Reader,

It's been way to long since my last confession or even my last blog post, but I've been working, editing, and writing a lot.



I confess I have many new poems, but need more time and space to sort through them.

I have many things I want to do with my next manuscript, but need the headspace to see the full vision. Sometimes that comes in summer.  Sometimes that comes in fall when I leave normal life for a writing residency...which I am doing this year.


~


I confess I ate cake for breakfast yesterday. Citrus Sunshine, which is lemon cake with orange buttercream frosting.


I confess I don't feel bad about it.  In fact, I feel as if I live in a magical world that sells Citrus Sunshine.


~


I confess many things have been pulling me in lately.


I am distracted by birds, by seals, by the outdoor world and all its inhabitants.

I am distracted by the shapes of clouds, the color of the sunset and how light is happening earlier and the world is sunnier.

And art.



And when I think I can't find something else to fall in love with, I do.



And here's another thing that pulled me in--



It's a video by Doug Gautraud. You can vote for it here.  I'm assuming it's based on biography, but I haven't been able to be sure.  But he seems trustworthy, and I believe the Truth (with a capital T) behind the story, authenticity, and giving instead of getting.

It's less than 5 minutes and will add a spot of beauty to your day.

Ride on...









Amen.



 ~ Kells




Don't Miss a Post ~ Subscribe to Book of Kells by EmailKelli Russell Agodon
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Confession Tuesday: The Slow To Warm Up / Circle of Trust Edition

Dear Reader, 

It's been a full or most-of National Poetry Month since my last confession. Really, so long I don't remember the last time I confessed anything.  So long, I'm not even sure how to begin.  So I'll begin with something I enjoyed: Ira Glass and his talk on Reinventing Radio (the link is so you can see when Ira and/or Reinventing Radio is coming to your town).

And if you have never listened to This American Life, you should be. I've been a fan since before 9/11/01 because I distinctly remember listening to this podcast.  (I think I started listening in 1998.)


Meeting Ira Glass and Which Dwarf I Am + Techno Dancing:

I confess when it comes to Ira Glass, I'm kind of sure thing and easily impressed.  If he would have given a two-hour talk on the importance of using Muppet babies in our writing or the benefits of tying your shoes with pipe cleaner, I'm sure I would have yelled "bravo" from the balcony.  I'm a super fan like that.

And I'm still in my happy place since meeting him




As many of you already know, I am a complete dork when it comes to meeting people I admire. 

I become one of Snow White's rarely talked about dwarfs: Socially Awkward. Socially Awkward dwarf is like Bashful, but without all the cuteness. I have much more heartpounding and crazy energy.  I also get really smiley.

Here's me acting like an ass:



Sometimes S.A. dwarf can be calmed down with an apple martini.  Meeting Ira happened at 1:30 pm in the afternoon and I had just drank a venti Tully's coffee, so instead of being the "cool one," I was the one doing a techno dance in my head, which I guess is better than next to him. Which I'm sure if better than techno dancing next to him.

_______________

Our Stuff:

I confess I felt uncomfortable when I saw people wanting to show Ira their stuff.  

Wait, that sounded dirty. Not that stuff: their work, their art, pitch him a story...whatever. It makes me feel as if we all can't just be normal humans appreciating each other's brilliance and beauty, but we have to try to get ourselves to a higher place.

I like you, but here's my stuff.  Maybe you can take me and my stuff and bring it to your level with your stuff. Maybe you can give me a hand...  

I always want to take the person offering their stuff and walk them to appetizers: Here, have a fruit torte. Put your stuff away.

I am not a stuff-shower (note: that word is "show-er" not the thing you bathe beneath). You and I will have to be good and close before I show you my stuff. (Except if it's published, then I don't even need to know you, which is both odd and exhilarating. But you can see that stuff, that's approved stuff and blog stuff is okay too. But the other stuff, unless I can really get to talk with you one-on-one and alone (or in a small group)--I'm a little private with that.)

Anyway, back to showing each other our stuff.

Here's the thing about that-- while there's a part of me that hates it when people do this, there's also a part of me that admires it because I can't walk up to someone I admire and just met and say, "I write. Here, read my work." Or, "I have this great idea..."  

Normally what I say: 

Thanks for coming out.I like your show/book/face/hair/suit/shoes/talent/voice/smile/viola. My favorite thing you did is __________."

If I really like you, I might just be all smiley and touchy and weird, not saying much except thanks. (Wait, is this what *charming* is?  -- no, no, it's not.)

_______________


How To Make Friends and Maybe Not Influence Anyone:

I confess once at a writing festival, I saw a writer friend of mine ask another more-famous writer he just met for a blurb, then my friend handed famouser writer a broadside. I was floored.  YOU JUST MET! I screamed in my head (and later to him).  

They talked and exchanged emails. What I said to famous writer, "Thank you for signing my book."

I learned later that my writer friend was eventually told no, but they stayed in touch and are friends now.  

I was both impressed and horrified with my writer friend at once. Where does one get the fire to do that? Should I do that? How does one learn that skill? Did I eat crayons as a child?

You see what I'm getting at.  Some of us can walk up to anyone with the confidence of a buffalo--I'm here and I'm not going anywhere until I tell you what I want.

While others of us are the tumbleweeds passing by.  I, my friends, am that tumbleweed.

Seeing my friend ask someone *he just met* for a favor, blew me away. In my world, asking someone you just met makes everyone uncomfortable, but he didn't see it that way, and while he didn't get the blurb, he put himself out there and met someone.

Maybe I'm not sure what the lesson is here.  Take a risk and you may not get what you want, but you may get a Christmas card out of it?
 ______________ 

It Could Have Been the Soup:

I confess, I think there was a time when I could be a little more brave. I remember when my first book came out, I went to a festival where Ted Kooser was reading and I was a fan of his work. I think it was right after he had won the Pulitzer.  I felt excited about my book and my inner poet said: Well, just give him a copy and he will be excited too! 

I remember him as I handed him my book he had this sick/odd/sad look of "Why are you giving me your book?" 

Maybe he's just introverted and awkward too.  Maybe everyone was giving him their book. Maybe he was thinking about bad soup and I misinterpreted his look. I remember feeling silly afterwards. And I never heard from him, not that I asked to hear from him. But I remember feeling as if I shouldn't have done that. 

That may have been the last time I offered my work/book/self to someone I just met.  Or maybe, the keyword is someone I admired.


_______________


One Person's Self-Promoter is Another Person's Freedom Fighter (wait, what?):

I confess there is an optimistic part of me that says: Be brave. Live in the moment. What have you got to lose?!  

Then there's the part of me that says, Why put yourself out there? 


Maybe I don't trust that optimistic voice because she talks in cliche.

I know I do take risks. 
Mostly, they are in my writing. 

My risks usually don't involve other people and rarely someone I just met. Or they don't include what other people can do for me. 

I'm not crazy about in-person risks (I startle easily) especially with writers. Two introverts or soc-awks trying to figure out how to respond to each other. On the other hand, I do appreciate moments of complete inappropriateness and humiliation as new and possible rich writing material as I definitely see the humor in some of my most awkward moments, but I don't aim for it. 

Or maybe I wait to get to know you to see if you get to be in my circle of trust--


From: http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/simplyjith/2010/04/24/circles-of-trust/ 
Or maybe this:




Or maybe I think when you meet someone in person for the first time, maybe we should arrive with what you can offer to the conversation instead of what we can take away.

Maybe it's a career downfall of mine, or maybe it's just the way I'm wired.

Amen.


~ Kells
Don't Miss a Post ~ Subscribe to Book of Kells by EmailKelli Russell Agodon
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Tinderbox: New Poetry Journal to know about...

If you haven't been paying attention, you may have missed that there's a new poetry journal on the horizon--

TINDERBOX:  sent to launch: JUNE 21, 2014!

I am thrilled to be part of their first issue.  Here's the scoop on this upcoming journal:

Tinderbox Poetry Journal accepts unpublished submissions of all forms of poetry—be it formal to experimental, free verse to hybrid voices, lyric and narrative, language and visual, and all else. They are also interested in critical pieces—essays on craft, poetic issues, interviews, conversations, the like. Launching in June 2014, the first issue features work by DA Powell, Ed Skoog, Amy Gerstler, Rachel Richardson, Farrah Field, Leslie Harrison, Jennifer Firestone, Kelli Russell Agodon, and Ray Gonzalez, among others. Enter via Submittable online form.Submit:  https://tinderboxpoetryjournal.submittable.com/submit






~ Kells
Don't Miss a Post ~ Subscribe to Book of Kells by EmailKelli Russell Agodon
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