Andrea Phillips's Blog, page 23

2012 Demographic and Salary Survey

Remember that one time in 2010 when I put together a demographic and salary survey for the IGDA's ARG SIG? Good times, good times.

I've been wondering how things have changed lo these last couple of years. Itt strikes me that the community could still use some fresh demographics and salary information, for the sake of comparison. So! I'd like to introduce the as-scientific-as-I-can-make-it 2012 ARG/Transmedia Demographic and Salary Survey!

It's meant for both audience members and for working professionals -- players, it helps us to sell in a pitch if we have some basic demo information, and pros, it helps us all to know what rates we're all charging so nobody is undercutting themselves too badly.

Take a look! Spread the link around! In a couple of weeks (or the end of the month or, basically, when I have a chance to do it) I'll collect the responses into a neat package like the last time. It'll be awesome. Let's roll!

The Anti-TINAG

I love poking at our bits of ARG received wisdom to see how well they hold up under fire. Can you have a great, immersive narrative without puzzles? Entirely on rails? Meant to be played alone and not in a community? Sometimes yes, sometimes not so much.

Along those lines, today I started wondering what it would be like to abandon TINAG entirely. And not just by stepping out from behind the curtain as a creator -- that ship sailed long ago. But we take it for granted that our characters and world must always behave as if they thought they were real. Imagine, if you will, aggressively fictional characters. 

Steve Diddle and Martin Aggett got there first, of course, with his Fictional Online Rights for Characters Everywhere. Still, I feel like this is a mode it would be fun to really explore.

Imagine a character who won't simply admit to fictionality if pressed; imagine a villain who would chide you for giving up the hero's secrets. A character who says, "You seem to be having a hard time with this puzzle, why don't you try..."

Better yet, what if they performed more like actors in an elementary school play, offering up their own meta-commentary even as they read out their appointed lines? "Wait, why am I doing this? This is stupid."

I'm not sure it would be a trick that could sustain a particularly long story, and certainly one that wouldn't hold up to persistent use. But once or twice... that could be lots of fun, I think. I'll have to try it sometime.

A Much-Needed Public Apology

This year at ARGfest, someone pointed out to me a glaring omission from the Further Resources section of A Creator's Guide: ARGfest itself. There's a Conferences subhead, to be sure, but ARGfest is notably absent from that listing.

When this was first came to light, I was appalled. An editing mistake, I thought. Surely some accident, perhaps on the copy-editing side. I've since checked my manuscript, and the fault here is nobody's but mine. I remember writing the blurb for ARGfest, but it's plainly not there in my submitted draft. I can only speculate it was the victim of a cut-and-paste error when I rearranged the listings. It was by no means an intentional omission.

But none of that matters. What matters is: ARGfest belongs in that list as much as, even more than any other conference. It is egregious and terrible that I left it off, and I owe everyone who works to make it a great conference a tremendous apology. I'm sorry that I made this mistake; I'm sorry if I for a second made you feel terrible or like I hold you in anything but the highest esteem; I'm sorry that I failed you in this moment when I could have boosted your signal just that little bit more.

To those of you who are not familiar: ARGfest has introduced me to people who became clients, colleagues, good friends. ARGfest was one of the earliest places to give me a chance to speak. I've landed work because of ARGfest, something I cannot conclusively say for most events I attend. I've learned about craft and about business. I've expanded my horizons. There is no question that without this extraordinary, warm, and well-rounded conference, my career would not be where it is today.

I'm not sure what I can do to make up for this any time before a second printing, but I am determined to make it right. ARGfest 2013, if there is anything I can do to make you better or bigger or bolder or louder, let me know. It's the least I can do.

Deadly Affairs

So hey! Haven't had enough self-promotion from me for one day? Step right up! There is a thing that I am doing that I would like you to know about!

Deadly Affairs is an upcoming show on Investigation Discovery, and I have the pleasure of working on an immersive experience in the run-up to the premiere. It's... well.... it's... gosh.

I'd love to talk about it with a little depth because we've made a lot of pretty interesting creative decisions, but I don't want to spoil the surprise. Go check it out for yourself, OK? And then let me know what you think!

SXSW, Storyworld, and Empty Promises

News! I have news for you about many, many things. First up: I have a panel proposal up for SXSW! It is called Harnessing the Power of Snark. I made a video about it.

And I guess that's about it for that.

Next up: Storyworld! I won't be there this year, but I will be taking part in a podcast series F+W is conducting beforehand, arranged by the ever-fabulous Scott Walker. I'll be talking with Scott and Aaron Vanek about ARGs, LARPs, and the difference therein. But there are also many, many other podcasts there that you should take a look at -- it's some seriously great programming. Register now!

Beyond that, my schedule has gone FWOOOM the last couple of months, and I have quite a lot of appearances coming up and interviews to report and so on and so forth. But... can I do that later? Please? I have, um, a thing. I have a thing I have to do. So yeah. See you later?

Balance of Powers

And now, let's take a break from being emo for a while and talk about much more exciting things. Such as Balance of Powers! Remember that one time last summer when I did a Kickstarter together with Naomi Alderman, Adrian Hon, and David Varela? Alt-history cold war occult thriller, we said. Just give us a little money to make it more awesome. And you gave and gave. And now! We have done it! Now Balance of Powers is live! Go! Read! Talk on the forums!

We're sending out updates once a week, with intermittent bonus content sent to subscribers in between. The first of those went out yesterday. And other very, very exciting things are happening, as well...

I do love me a good launch announcement. More of these on the way, amigos. I've been a busy girl the last few months, and I sure do have a lot of show-and-tell to do! 

Don't Blink

I'm having a really weird and hectic couple of months, you guys. Lots of deadlines and lots of stress, and mostly the kind of stress you're not supposed to complain about, because it only comes from too many good things happening at once. Who knew that publishing a book could do that! Who would have thought!

Do you remember Neil Gaiman's commencement speech? The really killer amazing one? You watched it, right? Tell me you watched it. It's well worth the 20 minutes.

He makes a brief reference to the problems of success -- to that pressure of always doing better than your last thing. It is absolutely true that being a success has its problems (even at a much, MUCH smaller scale than Neil Freaking Gaiman) and he only barely brushes on what they are.

And yet it's nearly impossible to talk about these problems in a public forum, because even saying, "Yes, I am in a good place in my career right now, but X, Y, and Z are totally freaking me out," shows an arrogance, or maybe a lack of humility, or maybe a sense of ingratitude toward what you've accomplished or lucked into.

At a certain point, you are supposed to project nothing but confidence and poise. I feel like this does a disservice to people who are struggling with the same issues at any scale, because it creates the false sense that there comes a point when that all goes away. Given my own modest experience and that of many of my close friends, I'm growing suspicious that that pressure only gets greater the higher you climb.

So at the risk of being a little crass, I would like to say: Hey, I'm just a human being, and I have a lot going on right now, and most of it is REALLY GREAT, but boy howdy I wish I could slow it all down some. I am freaking out a little. I mean, I'm completely fine, I'd just like to acknowledge that this is a thing that is happening right now.

I've written about this before, of course. That's because The Fear is a thing I'm constantly dealing with, a roadblock on my way to doing more work or better work or just plain any work at all. I sure do wish, though, that I could get rid of this feeling that one tiny mis-step will completely ruin me forever. It's probably not really true, and it definitely doesn't help anything.

Confessions of a Woman Writer

All day she plays at chess with the bones of the world:
Favored (while suddenly the rains begin
Beyond the window) she lies on cushions curled
And nibbles an occasional bonbon of sin.

–Female Author, Sylvia Plath

I am many things. I am a gamer, a writer, a professional; I talk about these things all the time. I'm also a woman, a feminist, a foodie, an Air Force brat, a reader, a fashionista, a Jew, an artist, an Airbender fan. We all have infinite identities.

I'm also a mother, as it happens. And lately I've been thinking about how the role of mother and the role of professional fit together, or don't. I've been thinking about it particularly in the light of my online persona, that curated piece of me that you see from this blog, from Twitter, from the bios that I write when I'm speaking.

Not long ago, an interviewer asked for a little bit of personal information to put in some introductory text. One of the questions asked was about my family. And I suddenly realized that, for lo these many years, I have gone out of my way to avoid ever saying, "Andrea lives in suburban New York with her beloved husband and two precocious daughters."

It's not that I mind people knowing that I have children; clearly this isn't the case. I write about them pretty often, as these things go. Yet I am intensely reluctant to disclose the identity of mother in a context where I might be making a first impression. Why is that, exactly?

***

A few days ago, I sent out this Tweet:

I received a handful of suggestions. One came to me through a retweet, from someone who does not follow me, and presumably doesn't know much about me. It suggested that I submit the piece to Wired GeekMom. 

Is it being excessively prickly to suggest that the sole reason for this suggestion was that I'm a woman? I try to be cognizant about the appeal of my work. I'm pretty sure that this kind of piece about transmedia best practices just isn't going to have general appeal to geek culture in general, nor to geek mothers specifically.

And I found, even though I really am a mother! I was offended by that particular suggestion. I am a mother. That's a statement of fact.

But I don't want to be just a mother. 

I see male writers like John Scalzi and Chuck Wendig talk about their kids for the sake of talking about their kids. Photos, video, anecdotes and accomplishments. Pride and love made public. I cannot think of a single female writer of that stature who does the same thing. The closest might be Elizabeth Bear and her Giant Ridiculous Dog. Dog owner just doesn't have the same connotations as mother, now does it?

I love my kids no less than these fine gentlemen do. And as noted, I do write about my kids from time to time -- but really only in the limited contexts where it intersects with my activism, or with my work. If I sent up posts that were just photographs, just anecdotes about funny or awesome things my children have done, suddenly I would be a mommyblogger. Note that mommyblogger is a term of diminishment. Not real, serious bloggers, no. These are mothers who are blogging about their kids. Pshaw.

If I played this game of being proud of my family in the public eye, maybe I wouldn't be taken so seriously anymore, as someone with thinky thoughts about transmedia to share and dissect.

I try to keep that part of my life behind the curtain, nothing to see here, because I worry that being too public about my identity as a mother makes it that much easier to dismiss me. It feels a little unfair.

***

We have certain social expectations about mothers. Parenting comes with an inevitable loss of dignity, and yes, I've been vomited upon, sleep-deprived, snot-covered. Once you describe someone as a mother, you have performed an act of characterization describing that woman as harried, tired, a little stressed out, probably juggling too many things.

It's true. I'm harried, tired, a little stressed out, probably juggling too many things. I'm pretty sure I would be even if I had no children at all.

So look, I am a terrible mother. In the Maternal Olympics, I'm a sure loser because I do sometimes sacrifice my children at the altar of my career. We eat McDonald's instead of home-cooked vegetables and roasted chicken. I don't fill my children's days with crafts and home-baked goods and trips to the circus. I jet off to distant climes, routinely leaving my family to do without me entirely.

I am, conversely, an excellent mother. I give kisses to boo-boos, snuggles at bedtime, moral support on demand. I call the school to raise hell when need be. I go to recitals and field days and graduations. I've turned down jobs and speaking gigs that would require me to be away on birthdays or vacations or just plain for too long. In lieu of crafts and activities, I try to fill my children's days with ideas. We talk about politics, about surface area and evaporation, about what words like "nuance" mean, about nutrition and feelings and songs. 

Which one of these things is true? Can they both be true?

***

There was a piece in the Guardian not long ago postulating that women who are not mothers have not experienced the full gamut of human experience, and their work therefore must be shallower. It pointed out, though, the devil's bargain: a mother might have a broader range of experience, but she surely will have a narrower range of work, simply because the logistics of parenthood take time one might otherwise devote to one's career.

There is no mention in this article about men and fathers.

***

During my recent Shindig event, an old friend asked me how my children inspire my work. I'm sorry, Joe, but I muffed your answer a little. It's true that I am working on an amazing project right now that is very directly and heavily inspired by my children. This is because children are the intended audience.

But outside of that example, the truth is, my children simply don't inspire my work. It's like asking how my breakfast affects my choice of shoes; the two are not related in any meaningful way.

It's interesting to note that on the spot like that, I didn't feel brave enough to say that. Because there's this societal idea of motherhood, and of women in general, that say that children are a wellspring of emotion. Becoming a parent transforms you into some separate class of being.

I missed the memo. I'm still fundamentally the same person I was before I had children. I've evolved to become a more active feminist, perhaps; I've learned to juggle more responsibilities. I don't know if I would have changed in the same ways without children, but change over time is inevitable. The mere act of becoming a parent didn't suddenly make me into a different person any more than other transitions, like graduating from college, or becoming a freelancer.

I love my children in a fierce way that, true, I had never experienced before I had children. There is something particular to that relationship that is different from all others. But I also have a relationship with my iPhone that I had never experienced before. The same with my ever-changing personal appearance. The same with my health. And the same with, inevitably, my career.

Every human experience, every human life is unique. What makes one more valid than another?

***

The course of being a mother and a professional in this world is a fraught one, even outside of the usual pop-culture context of maternity leave and taking days off to attend to sick children. There are matters of posturing and status to examine, questions that could have far-reaching implications for a career.

I'm walking a tightope and I don't even know if it's going where I want to be.

I'm afraid I don't have a snappy conclusion for you. There are too many questions here I don't have answers for. So these are things that I've grappled with, and things that have happened, and things I'm afraid of. Am I afraid of the right things? And if I am, what does that mean about us, as a society?

Write A Review Day

Writers, readers, creators all. I've noticed something in my experiences with Shiva's Mother and Other Stories and A Creator's Guide to Transmedia Storytelling. It's really, really hard to get people to write a review of your book. Presumably because it's time-consuming, maybe a little embarrassing, and it just doesn't seem like a big deal.

But having reviews on Amazon winds up being really important to the success of a book -- there's some evidence that reviews are one of the things Amazon takes into account in their suggestion engine. (Of course nobody outside Amazon knows for sure.) Reviews can make a book you love more visible -- and visibility translates into sales.

So I'd like you challenge you to write at least one review of a book on Amazon today. It doesn't have to be one of mine -- and if it is one of mine it doesn't have to be glowing (or even positive!). But especially if there's an author you love and want to support, do 'em a solid and write a review today. It only takes a few minutes, and you could really make a difference.

I'm putting my money where my mouth is: Today I've written reviews for All Things Wicked by Karina Cooper, Unicorn Variations by Roger Zelazny, and Mockingbird by Sean Stewart. 

Now it's your turn. Go. Write a review of a book you love, and encourage everyone you know to do the same. It's a mitzvah.

Early Work

Have you been hankering to read some really awful mid-90s amateur romance? TODAY IS YOUR LUCKY DAY!

The mists of time have cleared away to uncover this document from a 1999 backup. This file, it was called 'Andrea's Trashy Romance Novel.' 

Download the file now!

I just might have to Kickstart this sucker to finish it in the, uh, original style. And then you'll be sorry, won't you?!