Steven D. Jackson's Blog, page 3

Yellow Light (40k fan fic)

 

This is a work of fan fiction for Warhammer 40,000. I am not in any way affiliated with Games Workshop or the Black Library, more’s the pity, and I am not attempting to present this as official or licensed. It’s just for fun, so don’t feel obligated to contact the Inquisition…

‘It’s firing!’ someone yelled from the vast courtyard not far from where Rorik stood. He winced as the brilliant flare of an anti-orbital laser turned the heavens to flame, briefly lighting up the bare metal of the door by...

Shadow of Charybdis (40k fan fic)

  

This is a work of fan fiction for Warhammer 40,000. I am not in any way affiliated with Games Workshop or the Black Library, more’s the pity, and I am not attempting to present this as official or licensed. It’s just for fun, so don’t feel obligated to contact the Inquisition…

The echoes of the blast died away, the last traces of the explosive round fading into the soft slithering of the wet, writhing mass around them. The shattered silence returned, and Rixon stood for a moment, bolt pistol ex...

Dark Hearts (40k fan fic)

 

This is a work of fan fiction for Warhammer 40,000. I am not in any way affiliated with Games Workshop or the Black Library, more’s the pity, and I am not attempting to present this as official or licensed. It’s just for fun, so don’t feel obligated to contact the Inquisition…

His was a small and humble shrine by most standards. Hundreds of years old, its bare stone walls, unadorned by any tapestry or curtains, echoed that night with every rumble of the thunder overhead. Fifteen rows of pews str...

Choleric Humours (40k fan fic)

 

This is a work of fan fiction for Warhammer 40,000. I am not in any way affiliated with Games Workshop or the Black Library, more’s the pity, and I am not attempting to present this as official or licensed. It’s just for fun, so don’t feel obligated to contact the Inquisition…

 

       “Take cover!” he yelled. Troopers scattered for the protection of the pillars as the heretics opened fire from above. A blistering storm of lasfire ripped into the running Talons, blasting men off their feet with...

Fake News! Vegan man eaten by vengeful courgette

 

A 23 year old vegan man has been found eaten alive by an angry courgette, local police have confirmed.

The ‘brand-synergiser’ and avowed devourer of vegetable matter, known only as “Jez”, had been just about to tuck into yet another tasteless meal when he was consumed by self-appointed avenger of needless vegetable deaths, Chloe Rofill.

Ms Rofill, a young courgette from Buckinghamshire, explained she’d “just had enough of his shit.”

“Every day I’d have to watch him forcing innocent vegetables ...

Fake News! Escaped lion demands access to zoo resources

 

A crotchety old lion with an inflated sense of its own importance has demanded full access to its former zoo’s resources and infrastructure, having recently ‘escaped’ through an unlocked door, zookeepers have reported.

Aging former “King of Beasts” Growly McGrowlface had been living in the zoo since 1973, and according to sources close to the lion enclosure, had become more and more resentful over the last few years.

“Last year he started banging on about the ‘good old days’,” said room-mate Bi...

Fake News! Met Office admits there is no coat suitable for March

 

The met office has recently confirmed that there is literally no overcoat suitable for the blend of freakish wetness, icy mornings and cloying warmth currently sweeping Britain.

A spokesman explained. "You essentially have two choices. The first is to wear your winter coat for those Arctic mornings, and be a sweaty mess by the time you get to work. You'll stink by lunchtime regardless of your deodorant because shirts were designed by Satan.

Second option is your light jacket, if you want to be...

The Dance Eternal

She slips between light and shadow, flowing like liquid. Smooth as silk floating on a breeze. I hold her gently, feeling her delicate ribs under my hands, the flutter of her heart. She is a bird, soft and vulnerable, moving with breath-taking grace as we dance. All around us I see those familiar faces; the woman with the short choppy hair. The boy in the mismatched clothes. The heavy-set man. They’re smiling for us, in spite of themselves. They’ve never seen anyone move with such grace and pe...

The Hobby Goat

The boy sat, despondent, on a threadbare sofa under the harsh lights at the back of the police interview room. His father and mother sat at the table in the centre, talking and crying. The officer was trying to write everything down, a pained expression hovering somewhere between irritation and sympathy on his sweaty face. The second officer, a slim woman with red hair, watched them silently. Her face gave nothing away. Occasionally her eyes would flick to the boy, calculating. Eventually, he...

Keep It To Yourselfie

‘Can’t wait much longer buddy,’ the young man said, his brittle smile beginning to turn down at the corners. I studied the face through the screen, watching the little yellow squares confirm the focus was just right. The girl giggled again and I hesitated, watching as her square flickered uncertainly. The thought crossed my mind that she might come out blurred, and I fought a brief, insane urge to laugh hysterically.The man’s strained smile had almost faded completely, replaced by a guarded e...