Rick R. Reed's Blog, page 104

It Gets Better

The rash of teen suicides and the media focus on bullying has made me sit back and relive some very painful memories, memories I thought I had tucked away for good, scars I thought that had healed over.

But those memories of bullying, depression, and longing to be "just like everyone else" have always been there, lurking just beneath the surface. The focus on gay teens taking their own lives and bullies doing things like breaking the arm of another boy because he dared to want to be a cheerleader bring them all to the surface.

I was one of those bullied kids. In grade school, I was the sissy, the one who didn't play sports, who walked his baby sister around the neighborhood in a stroller, who preferred the quiet, gentle company of girls to boys. I was the little boy who stayed inside, reading, while my parents exhorted me to go outside. They even put up a basketball hoop on the garage in the hopes it would make me more like other boys. My father was the only one who used it.

In the school cafeteria one time, one mean girl went around the table, pointing out all the people who were in her class the year before. "I was in Mrs. Kincaid's class with him, and him, and him, and her, and him...and her," she said at last, pointing at me.

Everybody laughed.

In sixth grade, a pudgy boy made me his after-lunch sport and would make it his business to get in line as we went back to our classrooms, where he could punch me and body slam me against the wall. I remember praying in my bedroom for him to stop. God must have not been listening those nights.

As I grew up, the taunts went from sissy to queer and faggot. It was all okay; I was able to leave that identity behind once and for all when I went away to college, where no one knew me from my past life.

But the scars remained. They made me painfully shy and introverted. I think I was afraid if I spoke up too much or made my presence known too well, people would catch on that I was "different" and the teasing and bullying would start up again, only in more sophisticated ways, like alienating me.

I'm not writing this in the hopes that people will feel sorry for me. I don't want your pity.

I want you--and especially if you're a little different kind of kid as I was--to understand that it does get better.

It may not get better right away from outside.

It has to get better from inside. It took me thirty years and more heartache than you can imagine to say to myself that I was tired of fighting and exhausted from pretending to be someone I was not. It was terrifying to lay down the shield and the sword and come out, fearful of those childhood reprisals rising up once more, but I did. I had to. I couldn't go on living a lie--that would have been suicide in either a literal or figurative sense.

And once I was finally able to be okay with being different, with being me, with all my quirks, good and bad...it did get better.

I could at last say, "You have trouble accepting me? You think I'm (fill in the blank)? Well, that's your problem, not mine."

Because once you come to love yourself for who you are, once you realize you are not a "mistake" and that you are not a product of what someone tells you you should be, it gets better.

FREE for Your Kindle: BLUE BOY

This sounds like an absolutely charming read. Pick it up fast...these books usually don't stay at this price point for long.

From Publishers Weekly
Satyal's lovely coming-of-age debut charts an Indian-American boy's transformation from mere mortal to Krishnaji, the blue-skinned Hindu deity. Twelve-year-old Kiran Sharma's a bit of an outcast: he likes ballet and playing with his mother's makeup. He also reveres his Indian heritage and convinces himself that the reason he's having trouble fitting in is because he's actually the 10th reincarnation of Krishnaji. He plans to come out to the world at the 1992 Martin Van Buren Elementary School talent show, and much of the book revels in his comical preparations as he creates his costume, plays the flute and practices his dance moves to a Whitney Houston song. But as the performance approaches, something strange happens: Kiran's skin begins to turn blue. Satyal writes with a graceful ease, finding new humor in common awkward pre-teen moments and giving readers a delightful and lively young protagonist. (May)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

An Important Message from Kathy Griffin

My First Queer Book

For those of you who don't know, each week Lambda Literary does a little feature called "My First Queer Book" and this week it's me answering the question. So what was my first queer book? You'll have to check out the post to find out!

http://tinyurl.com/298t8y8

New Cover and an Exclusive Sneak Peek: OUT ON THE NET

My e-book novella, Out on the Net, will be published by Amber Allure (the GLBT division of Amber Quill Press) on November 14. The book is about a gay man coming to terms with his sexuality a few minutes before he is about to wed a woman. It's part of the "Stepping Out" series, all centered around coming out.

Just for you, here's a taste from the very beginning of the book, which is told in blog format:

Blog Entry #1: When I Knew I was Gay

I get the same question all the time—when did you know wh...

Imagine that: Invoking the Golden Rule has No Effect on Christians' Anti-gay Attitudes

I think it's about hearing what you want to hear and ignoring the rest. But the results of this study, and how some so-called Christians react to Jesus' admonition to "do unto others as you would have them do unto you..." is sadly, not surprising.




I guess that part Jesus said (Leviticus 19:34)  about loving your neighbor as you love yourself would also fly out the window with these folks.

Read commentary on the study here.

FREE For Your Kindle: Elvis Takes a Backseat

From Publishers WeeklyWhen Claudia, a 40-something Texas widow, holds a garage sale to offload some of her late husband's belongings, she discovers a note he scribbled in the last days of his illness, asking her to return a bizarre three-foot bust of Elvis Presley to Memphis. Reluctantly, Claudia embarks on a return to...

Finding the Publisher You Want—for Richer or Poorer

This blog originally appeared on the wonderful GLBT romance review site, Reviews by Jessewave. But because I wrote it and because I think it contains some hard-learned lessons about publishing I've accrued along the way, I'm sharing it with you here. I get e-mails all the time asking me for suggestions for publishers. I greet this question with the same degree of befuddlement as I greet the ones that ask me which of my books is my favorite, or which one they should read first. Both...

10 Ways to Rock on Social Media and Still Have a Life

Good advice from Penny Sansevieri, marketing guru and promotional whiz (see her complete bio at the bottom of this post):

It's true: social media is here--and there goes your life! Well, maybe not entirely but it sure seems that way sometimes, doesn't it? If you've held off joining the social media party because you were worried about what a time suck it would be, take heart! There are a lot of authors who feel the same way. I speak at conferences all the time and at almost every event I get...

New from MLR Press!

ManLove Romance Press, LLC
http://www.mlrpress.com


Title Home Author William Neale ISBN# 978-1-60820-212-6 (print) $14.99   978-1-60820-213-3 (ebook) $6.99 Release Date August 2010 Cover Artist Deana C. Jamroz Paperback: 211 pages

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