Rob Wickings's Blog, page 9
March 9, 2024
The Swipe Volume 2 Chapter 10
Strange days. Personally, TLC and I are on the verge of a big positive shift in our financial affairs. Something we’ve been working towards for a very long time. Professionally, the next few months look to be enormously challenging with the potential for good things down the line. If things go as hoped. You know what they say about best laid plans. Hey, I’m staying positive. How ever the situation resolves, the next couple of weeks promise to be interesting—hopefully not in the old Chinese curse kind of way. Spring is definitely the season of change for us, anyway.
Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.
Rob is reading…
Babel by R. F. Kuang. So far, a vaguely generic fantasy-adjacent tale set in 1830s Oxford, with hints to magical goings-on. It’s won a ton of awards (and not others, controversially) so I’m sticking with it, and chuckling at the diss aimed at certain colleges.
Rob is watching…
Dune Part 2. It’s a spectacle to be sure, but I’ll have to be honest – it left me a little cold. Still trying to figure out why. I think the movie needed to be trippier. If only Jodorowsky had got the time and budget he needed. The sound design and soundtrack, however, rule.
Rob is listening…
To Plains. Hope you don’t have a problem with it.
Rob is eating…
Something from Café Fictif. The Big Kahuna Burger looks good.
Rob’s Low-Key Obsession Of The Week…
Yes, I have been wandering around all week singing ‘Heeeere comes the weekend.’ Not that I’m wishing my life away or anything…
Yeah, sure, the money isn’t great but I mean, come on. Who amongst us wouldn’t jump on this sort of career opportunity?
We all know Wednesday can strut her stuff, but it’s still surprising how important dance is to our favourite spooky ooky family. An expression of joy and love, which is what they do so well. Never mind the set dressing, we love the Addams clan precisely because of their joie de vivre.
It’s Oscars Night this Sunday. As usual, the wrong movies will win the big awards, and there’s still no best Stunt Award. I did like this list from the NYT of other nominations which should really become part of the main event.
Michael Chabon, who knows a bit about mythic characters, on the ‘Superman problem.’ I wonder how James Gunn, hard at work on the latest movie iteration, plans to address it. It’s a tricky one. At heart, Kal-El is a simple hero designed for simpler times. But then sometimes a figure with an unswerving moral compass isn’t such a bad base for a story. Subverting the role for subversion’s sake never makes for interesting reading.
Limiting your options can be enormously freeing for your creativity. Check out Catherine Lacey, whose recent blogs have all weighed in at 144 words. There are 12 in the series. Go on, do the maths.
Another Threads—thread, this time from Mike Achim, who guides us through the important steps in a vital step in getting your story seen by the right people. Put this advice in your trick bag.
Lastly (yes, we’re running short this week, I’ve been a busy boy) news on the extensive restoration on a movie which many at the time of its release considered irredeemable. To be fair, it’s not so much a buff and polish, as a complete demolition and rebuild…
Hurray For The Riff Raff started cropping up on a couple of my ‘can’t be arsed to think of something to listen to’ Spotify playlists, and she’s just crept into my daily rotation. I love it when that happens. Life on earth, from a couple of years back, is a little cracker of an album. Here’s a taste.
See you in seven, fellow travellers.
March 2, 2024
The Swipe Volume 2 Chapter 9
It’s the hope that gets you. I’ve long been a fan of The Hairy Bikers—affable, charming, sometimes surreally witty TV chefs. Their shows are the sort of thing that putter along in the background when you’re sorting dinner, only to draw you in, sit you down and get you making a note of a recipe when you should be paying attention to the kitchen. They’ve both had their health scares, so when Dave Myers returned to telly with a new show after a bout with cancer, it felt like a happy ending.
Sadly, no. The news of Dave’s death on Wednesday night came as a shock to many of his fans (myself included) and casts this final series in a different light. A last hurrah rather than a new beginning. He has ridden into the west now, to use the Tolkeinian phrase. I wish Dave a happy journey, and respectfully dedicate this chapter of The Swipe to him. May we all have the life he found for himself, doing the thing he loved with his best mate. He was a focus of so much love, joy and good food.
Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.
Rob is reading…
A stack of old Galaxy and Magazine Of Fantasy and Science Fiction volumes from the late 50s, a gift from a fellow Reading Writer. It’s all a bit clunky and shonky and the sexual politics are—of their time. But I’m still charmed and pleasingly surprised by the quality of storytelling, and the books are lovely old artifacts of a golden age, when SF didn’t take itself quite so seriously.
Rob is watching…
As a sidebar to last week’s discussion on the Leap Year, here’s Dave Gorman with a few suggestions on how to improve the calendar in general. I think this might just work…
Rob is listening…
I will be a little heavy on the Athens, Georgia sound this week—essential comfort blanketing for when the need arrives. I stumbled across the promo for Imitation Of Life this week and found myself mesmerised. Yes, this is all taken from a twenty-second take (and it probably took twenty-two takes to get right). The planning must have been insane. It’ll draw you in and definitely provides more fun with multiple viewings.
Rob is eating…
Midnight Spaghetti while thinking about how food and love and navigating the spaces in a relationship are so intertwined.
Rob’s Low-Key Obsession Of The Week…
This kid. This beautiful, misunderstood, quiet, thoughtful kid. I would defend this kid to my last breath, with every sinew of my strength. I would fight and die for this kid. This kid is me at ten, and I will protect him to the end. This is comedy, apparently. I don’t see it that way. I’m with Emma Stone. Let him have this one thing.
There needs to be more Howard The Duck in the MCU. There, I said it. It was great to see him take on a solid supporting role in the first ep of What If…? Season Two but honestly, I think it’s time we forgave George Lucas his sins and brought the duck in from the cold.
I am pleased to discover that, like veteran blogger and writer Cory Doctorow, I am an adherent to the POSSE system—Post One Site, Syndicate Everywhere. It makes obvious sense to me. Excuses And Half Truths is where the fun stuff lives, the social media is there to bring people in. A raising of flags, a firework to signal new Swipery. I do think Cory makes a bit of a meal out of it, though.
Been thinking a lot about physical newsletters recently. An object you can hold and crease and stuff in your back pocket (the 50’s book-mags I mentioned earlier have exactly that quality). There’s a jump in interest in zines, too. Perhaps there’s experimentation to be done, even if it’s at PDF/Print-on-demand-level. That would certainly save on the postage.
There was an almost-reunion of Athens Georgia’s favourite sons last month, brokered by of all people actor and general zod Michael Shannon. Had I known what was going to happen, I believe I would have been on a plane and damn the cost to the credit card. Pilgrimage, indeed.
Michael Marshal Smith is really enjoying himself at the moment, playing around with AI to build an eerie alternate history of a small Californian town. As publishers showed no interest, he’s pushing the stories and art out for free as, yes, a PDF you can print out if you like. See, I told you that idea had legs.
Our most distant traveller has left the solar system, gently losing its marbles in the process. If you’re a Trekkie, there must be a wish in you that a great alien intelligence will swoop in and pick Voyager up, and make it into something new, strange and glorious.
A documentary about life on the road, directed by Dave Grohl, featuring all sorts of surprise guest stars? Feels like a good way to spend a couple of hours to me!
More stuff on Dune, I’m afraid. Yes I am excited for the movie thank you but I’ve loved the books since I was a sensitive boy with the need for a well. Considering how much a part of the SF landscape the story is, it’s surprising to hear just what a struggle it was for Frank Herbert to get Dune published. Very telling how much hustling he had to do to get folk interested. Very much like today’s publishing scene, in fact.
Happy accidents are what give any artistic endeavour its special quality. That turn of phrase which came out garbled but made perfect sense in context, that scrap of melody which fell out of your fingers from nowhere. Always be willing to keep the odd mistake in there, if it fits.
Lastly, a great chat with André 3000, whose reinvention as a jazz flute guru was the one career change no-one saw coming. The guy is clearly living his best life. Glad to see the enduring influence of Octavia Butler sneak in around the edges of the article, too. André could have stepped out of the pages of one of her novels.
We end as we started: with someone gone too soon. Dex Romweber, the pumping heart and wild soul of Athens, Georgia-based rockabilly outfit Flat Duo Jets twanged his last this month. His raw, searing take on rock and roll clearly influenced a lot of bands we know and love today, particularly when they were just a guitar-and-drum duo. This will clear your sinuses ready for the weekend. Shake it, grandma!
See you in seven, fellow travellers.
February 24, 2024
The Swipe Volume 2 Chapter 8
Leap years are weird. I’ve never understood the reason. Sure, I could Google it, but I honestly prefer (for once) to stay uninformed. It means you can make stuff up and have a bit of fun with the whole ridiculous situation. There’s plenty of myth and lore associated with the 29th of February, a lot of it inverting tradition. Personally, I think it should be a holiday, a chance for us all to take a leap away from the normal, do something we wouldn’t normally do. Step out of the calendar for 24 hours and perceive time from the outside.
If you’re a leap year baby, happy birthday for Thursday! I hope you get four years worth of treats and love. You deserve it, you curious time travellers.
Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.
Rob is reading…
Small Fires by Rebecca May Johnson. Possibly one of the most infuriating books I’ve ever read. I span between wanting to throw it in the charity pile and agreeing passionately with a concept or thought. Rebecca overthinks her relationship with food to an obsessive degree, grinding through a thousand different attempts at a simple tomato sauce to find its perfect iteration. The epiphany never comes (honestly, that’s not a spoiler) but there are other revelations along the way. I still don’t know what I think about the book, or whether I can recommend it. I know I have more to say on the subject but that’s a matter for another post. Nigella gave it a cover quote, if that’s any help.
Rob is watching…
Panos Cosmatos’ Mandy is one of my favourite movies, a a bonkers black metal horror epic with a fearless Nicolas Cage performance which is big and loud even for him. Beyond The Black Rainbow is a different proposition—quieter, sneakier but equally trippy and drenched in red light. The YT embed has subtitles you can’t remove but, hey, what do you want for free?
Rob is listening…
To this bold blast of Scottish rave-up. BA Robertson was a regular fixture on the TV of my childhood, but the recent reappraisal of the guy as a soul stirrer gives him a new respect in my eyes. BA teams here with the tempestuous Maggie Bell, whose voice was so powerful that she had to stand two feet away from a microphone for fear of blowing the diaphragm. This is a blast. No quarter given or received.
Rob is eating…
Trotter Gear. Well, not eating per se, but Ferguson Henderson’s evil concoction feels like a fine weekend project with future benefits down the pipe. Morrison’s will do you a couple of trotters if you can’t get to a butcher.
Rob’s Low-Key Obsession Of The Week…
The craft, time, effort and skill involved in Instagram user Nerdforge’s magnificent obsession gives me all the warm fuzzies, even though she has effectively rendered 14 books into an unreadable object.
There’s a lot to unpack in Casey Neistat’s own magnificent obsession. It is an object lesson in faith, in never giving up on your dream. At the same time, it shows how your priorities change over time, how life will inevitably turn you into a different person (with, in Neistat’s case, an increasingly odd choice of facial hair) and, ultimately, how the goals you have as a young man make less sense as you grow.
The William Morris quote, ‘Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful’ resonated strongly with me as I read this Graham Mackay piece on the simple objects which can bring us joy in everyday use.
The inevitable digital garden post. You’ve built a website? Now what? I’ve done a lot of musing on this subject in the past few months. Sometimes it’s worth just having a tinker and a prod under the hood, just to see what new ideas emerge. Like a garden, I suppose. A personal website should always be a work in progress.
I use sites like Metafilter as a way to wander around the quiet corners of the internet, finding the fun stuff—even if it’s just fun to me. Cloudhiker does something similar, offering up a random site with every click of the button. Similar to the late, lamented StumbleUpon, which kept me busy for quite some time in the naughties.
More resolutions from famous writers courtesy of Maria Popova at The Marginalian, Yes, I know we did one of these last month. But frankly, there’s no statute of limitations on starting a good habit. Get going when you’re ready. Don’t let the calendar hold you back.
Resolutions For a Life Worth Living
Hollywood, pay attention. This is how you make a great-looking movie on a tight budget. It’s not about the money you throw at a problem. It’s about the imagination and lateral thinking you use to solve it. See also the amazing work of Gareth Edward’s The Creator, shot cheaply and quickly on location before the effects were laid over the top. The tools are there, and easily accessible. Gain your skills and use them well.
A reminder for those of us excited for the launch next week of Dune: Part Two that it goes in without a recap or reminder. If you need a refresher on the story so far, Read Max has your back.
Last up, a thread on Threads on random utterances and how they can become part of your private lexicon. The more left-field the better. Some of these are extremely out there.
The Outro this week should really be the Low-Key Obsession. It’s ear-wormed me all week so now it’s your turn. Big voice, big hair, big emotions, camp as a pack of pink wafers. Don’t overthink it, just let the music take you.
See you in seven, fellow travellers.
February 17, 2024
The Swipe Volume 2 Chapter 7
When it comes to Shrove Tuesday versus Ash Wednesday, you better believe I’m all about the pancakes. Straight no chaser classic 321 recipe (300g flour, 2 eggs, 100ml milk) but make sure you let it sit for an hour or so. Let your batter become the batter it always knew it could be. Melt a little butter in a thin wide pan, pour in your batter a ladleful at a time. A minute each way, flip as soon as the visible side looks dry. Use a spatula to turn it, for heaven’s sake, we’re grownups here, no one wants a pancake hat. That first slightly shonky one? Trust me, it’ll taste great. Chef’s treat. Just lemon and sugar on top, thanks, but go heavy.
Every other time in the year I make pancakes (and I make them a lot) it’s all about the puff-up from baking powder, the tang of yoghurt playing against bacon and maple syrup. If I’m feeling super-fancy, a few thin chipolatas. If I’m feeling healthy, a compote from one of them freezer bags of fruit. But on February 13th, I keep it old school.
And you know, as an expression of love pancakes served on a nice plate to your baby kicks flowers and chocs into the long grass. Well, that’s what TLC says, and I believe everything she tells me.
Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.
Rob is reading…
I took a punt on two months of Kindle Unlimited for a quid, and am subsequently reading all the comics I can get my hands on. Catching up on the Krakoa years in X-Men, and Greg Rucka and Jason Aaron’s takes on everyone’s favourite Canadian snikt-meister. Honestly tho, Logan is at the point now where he pretty much writes himself…
Rob is watching…
The Marvels. Not half as bad as all the haters with anti-Disney agendas would have you believe. I mean, not top tier by any means but it gallops along with pep and verve, the cast are uniformly great and the movie is just a big ball of fun. A good punt for a Saturday night.
Rob is listening…
to Galaxie 500. A bit of an obsession back in the day. I’ve had a slowcore playlist on for the commute this week. Lots of Low, Slint, Morphine, Yo La Tengo and these guys. Kind of suiting the wintery mood, with the barest hint of a possibility of brighter days to come. Dean Wareham and crew did like their snow, with covers of Yoko Ono’s Listen The Snow Is Falling and, well, this. So nice to hear it again. A dig into the vinyl may be necessary this weekend.
Rob is eating…
Pancakes. Come on, keep up.
Rob’s Low-Key Obsession Of The Week…
Rick Stein’s new show on weekday evenings is decent comfort viewing. He was making crumpets this week, and issued an instruction which could be viewed in more than one way. I paraphrase, but this is close enough…
‘Pour your foamy batter into the hot, greased rings.’
I had to look at TLC to see if it was just me spotting the accidental Finbarr Saunders, to see her doubled up with laughter on the sofa.
The boys from Viz would have a field-day.
I haven’t been able to get the phrase out of my head since.
A paen to movie going in the 90s and the birth of the movie rental industy. This is tremendously evocative. I remember the big debate every weekend about what movie would come home with us, whose turn it was to choose, the sulks and arguments (especially if the film was a dud) or the glow when a cinematic gem was discovered. They were simpler times.
Off-brand snacks and stolen DVDs
Ursula Le Guin’s The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas is a thought experiment of sorts, a consideration of the sacrifice required to bring about an exalted existence, and how certain kinds of people are unwilling to accept it. It is, in my opinion, one of the greatest short stories ever written. Now Isabel J. Kim has taken the idea at its core and flipped the narrative. It’s a brave and necessary update, answering some questions raised by the original tale and raising others. Read the original if you don’t know it, then the new version.
Writers are prone to vanishing into research holes when working on a book. But research, in its purest sense, should not be about confirmation bias. When done with an open mind and a sense of honest curiosity, it can reshape your intended narrative in unexpected ways. Allison Brennan has more…
More input on the smaller, weirder web which is gradually pushing its colourful head out of the enshittified murk of our current set up. Consider this a sort of reading list and possibly inspiration to try and open a space for yourself.
A classic and nearly forgotten fantasy heroine gets an overdue resurrection. Jirel feels like the sort of fighter who is about to get a whole new enthusiastic following, myself included.
50 years of Bagpuss. A very English, very 70s kids programme, filled with atmosphere and a quiet air of eerieness. I have been a fan for as long as I can remember. Back in the early 2000s I helped with some video restoration on the original tapes, and Oliver Postgate came in to review. I played an episode and he did all the voices. I’m misting up thinking about it even now.
Baggy And A Bit Loose At The Seams
Expect to start seeing these signs popping up in social media feeds anytime now. As a response to toxic discourse, alongside the ever-helpful mute button, they could come in very handy. Dan Hon has done the world a service this week.
History is littered with those pivotal moments which on examination don’t make a lick of sense. We’ll never know the full context behind some of the events on this Cracked listicle, but ‘screw it’ seems as good an explanation as any.
Lastly, a lovely piece on Atlas Obscura on the 13th century diary-cum-scrapbook called the zibaldone. Like the digital gardens mentioned above, it’s a small space for you, however you want to run it.
Billy Joel seems to be getting a lot of play in the house this week. TLC is responsible, and I have no problem with the reminder of how skilled and sharp a songwriter he is. Scenes From An Italian Restaurant is generally referred to as Billy’s Bohemial Rhapsody. A multi-part song with romance and reflection at its heart, I have found myself playing it again and again. This version, live from Yankee Stadium in 1990, puts me in a very New York State of mind.
See you in seven, fellow travellers.
February 10, 2024
The Swipe Volume 2 Chapter 6
Happy St. Scholastica Day! Let us never forget, the smallest actions can have the largest of consequences—in this case a row over the quality of the wine in an Oxford tavern led to three days of rioting, dozens dead and, eventually, the overweight influence we see of the university over the town. you never know where a sour goblet of sack could take you.
This week, Taylor, mascots and kids on keyboards. Who knows where we’ll be by the end of it all?
Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.
Rob is reading…
On The Black Hill by Bruce Chatwin. I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to get around to this extraordinary, elegaic, hallucinatory book. On the surface, it tells the story of a family of farmers surviving in the harsh environs of rural Wales. There’s so much more to the story than that. On The Black Hill makes me want to be a better writer while having to accept I will never be as good as Chatwin. He makes this stuff look effortless. It really, really isn’t.
Rob is watching…
the wheels go round and round.
Rob is listening…
to this rather splendid Tom Waits-adjacent playlist. It goes to show what a broad church he worships in. There’s room for everyone from the Bonzos to Diamanda Galas (doing gospel in her usual terrifyingly inimitable fashion) to Slim Gaillard and so on and so coooool, daddi-o.
Rob is eating…
Pizza. Yesterday was National Pizza Day, so the meal choice is a bit of a gimme. For my local Reading folks, I can strongly recommend ZeroDegrees or The Thirsty Bear in the town centre or, if you dare to cross to the north side, Papa Gees in Caversham (try the Sophia Loren if you’re in a carnivorous mood). Ooh, or The Last Crumb just up the hill. All three will do you excellent wood-fired leopard-spotted deliciousness.
Rob’s Low-Key Obsession Of The Week…
The Gregg Wallace thing. If you know, you know.
This first link from Mcsweeney’s Internet Tendency is offered as another of the wide-ranging set of reasons why I remain childless.
Further considerations on how being a writer means you have to be a brand. It’s all getting a little exhausting, if I’m being frank. JD Salinger never had to put up with this shit.
Some background on the Israeli/Palestine conflict which has been going on for a lot longer and with a lot more interference from the West than common knowledge would allow. I try to keep politics on the down-low in The Swipe, but this primer is balanced, non-judgemental and essential if you feel the urge to contribute to the discussion. Knowledge is power, right?
I refuse to use Adobe products for exactly the reasons outlined in this piece. So much software these days is only available under the same model. Great for the suppliers. Sucks for the end user. For those of you keen to point out that I use WordPress for Excuses And Half Truths and therefore pay tithe in hosting costs—yeah, I know. Sucks to be me too.
The language of the workplace has a way of sneaking into the general venacular. The way we converse is constantly changing, and I’m happy to dial some of the following terms into my everyday discourse. To general bewilderment, I’m sure but hey, I’ll feel cooler.
On the same subject, Untranslatable offers a deep rabbit-hole of opportunity to dig into and spice up your life with phrases from other languages. At this rate I’m going to be incomprehensible come the summer.
How do we perceive Taylor Swift in 2024? Record-breaking musical artist? Political force? Friend or traitor to the LGBTQI community? This short monograph, compiled by Celia Mattison, takes Tay-Tay’s lyrics as inspiration and provides a bracingly varied set of opinions. Points added for supplying a playlist to listen to as you read.
As a shy and retiring English bloke, the idea of sending back a dish at a restaurant fills me with dread and horror. I think I’ve done it once in my life, and the whole situation was utterly, cripplingly mortifying. It shouldn’t have to be that way, and I appreciate the helping hand extended by Bon Appetit to help out the next time I find a hair on my pizza…
OG blogger Pete Ashton has returned to active duty after several years walking the earth. I always enjoyed his writing, and his new work has much to recommend it. Here he is on how dressing as a mascot can be an incredibly liberating experience, as well as rendering you effectively invisible…
We all know by now how beneficial comics are as an educational tool. Not just as reading material, though. The organizational and creative skills gleaned from making your own funny books cannot be understated, as the New York public school system has recognised. More like this, please. Comics on the curriculum!
This week I’ve disappeared into a swirling maelstrom of Turkish psychedelia and pop, enjoying the sheer wildness of the music. Party tunes from another dimension that’s barely a ten-degree rotation from the one I know, Yuh Yuh by Selda Bağcan has soundtracked my activities for the past few days, putting a bounce in my step and a shake in my spine.
See you in seven, fellow travelers.
February 3, 2024
The Swipe Volume 2 Chapter 5
This chapter of The Swipe is dedicated to Christine Wickings, 80 years young yesterday. So much of what I am and do and how I act is thanks to her. If you hear a strange electrical crackle and low thrum of energy coming from the east, that will be Clan Wicko gathering in Essex to celebrate our matriarch, our queen. We know how to party hearty. Blessings be upon my lovely mum.
This week: fake beer, funny birds and sexy Star Trek. Let’s make it so!
Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.
Rob is reading…
In counterpart to last week’s Fence piece on how to get published, Susanna Breslin offers more practical tips for a career in writing. There is some seriously useful stuff in here.
Rob is watching…
That weird show where Jay Blades and Del-Boy Granville totter around various steam fairs and county shows chatting to makers, hobbyists and tinkerers. The 6:30 BBC2 slot has developed into serious comfort telly and I for one am all up for it. Worth it for the collective bewilderment around cosplay. Please, check the moment where knight of the realm David Jason speeds around a car park in a motorised La-Z-Boy.
Rob is listening…
To The Breeders covering Guided By Voices. Extremely pertinent to my interests and, I hope, yours.
Rob is drinking…
Tutts Clump Cider—because it’s great, but also to support a brilliant local (to me) business who have been kicked hard in the tenders by the pandemic. If you see Tutts Clump on your travels, pick up a bottle. Alternatively, drop them a tenner through their GoFundMe. Please, don’t let a fantastic British food story fade out to a sad ending.
Rob’s Low-Key Obsession Of The Week…
How To Comment On Social Media. Can I stress, I don’t do this. Any more. You learn from your mistakes, OK?
I was unaware that there were trends in restaurant menus, but did have a lovely time browsing this NYT presentation of fine new examples of the form. I love typography. I love esoteric printing techniques. I love workplace ephemera. This lil rabbit found a hole to dive into.
You don’t know Nicholas Saunders. But you should. Because I guarantee his work has touched your life in some small way.
Please, please, watch this lovely animation, the vision of French director Charlie Belin. It takes a lot of work to create something this simple, sweet and lovely.
That moment when you reach out to touch an object, and the weight of history presses back into your palm.
Jack Latham’s images of click farms are equal parts mundane and eerie. This, I’m sorry to say, is what the future looks like.
On the whole, I think I could be persuaded into one of these at the end of a meal.
This genuinely reconfigured my opinion of Blade Runner 2049. If you’re uninterested in Denis Villeneuve’s sequel to the SF classic, there’s still good reason to look at this post, as it digs into writing, acting and the surprising cross points which come out of nowhere and lead to incredible cinematic moments. Also, further proof that Ryan Gosling is one of the most cheerfully experimental actors working today.
Those of us who know about Star Trek fan fiction will not be surprised at the horniness of the franchise. For everyone else—let’s boldly go.
I love fictitious brands, but Heisler passed me by until today, so I’m happy to share. Mine’s a Heisler Gold, cold as you can get it.
Joel Morris, whose new book on comedy looks like a must-buy, describes the release of Technotronic’s Pump Up The Jam as a still point in history, and how that is funny. I will admit I was grim-faced at the start and on the floor cackling by the end. Joel knows of which he speaks.
We Outro with Tom Waits, and a collaborative attempt to document his dizzying sideshow Glitter And Doom which touched down briefly on these shores in 2009. Apparently he’s working on new material. HURRY UP YOU SLACKER.
See you in seven, fellow travellers.
January 27, 2024
The Swipe Volume 2 Chapter 4
This week we consider the art of whistling in pop, have thoughts and opinions on criticism and enable restraint. Lots to see and do this week. LET’S GET THINGS STARTED.
Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.
Rob is reading…
Heat 2 by Michael Mann and Meg Gardiner. I wasn’t sure about this—revisiting the characters of a stone classic rarely ends well. But by looking backwards to the first encounter between Hanna and McCauley and forward to the further adventures of Chris Shiherlis in Central America, Mann and Gardiner tease out fresh perspectives while writing a cracking yarn. The prose is snappy and percussive, the plot rockets along and the whole thing unspools like—well, a Michael Mann movie. For which we can all be grateful. Yes, there are plans to make a film of it.
Rob is watching…
The Tourist season 2 which is every bit as funny and exciting and sweet and violent as the original. The core relationship between Elliot and Helen gives the wild and crazy plot line an emotional depth and it frequently takes turns you don’t expect. Family, eh? Who’d have ‘em?
Rob is listening…
To this rather splendid primer on whistling in pop music from the New York Times. Sadly, they missed one important tune…
Any other suggestions, Readership?
Rob is eating…
according to a general list of ideas and ingredients which need using instead of my usual approach of opening the fridge after work and glaring at the contents, waiting for inspiration to strike. Having a baseline of suggestions makes my culinary life less of a struggle and helps to cut down on food waste. I should have done this years ago.
Rob’s Low-Key Obsession Of The Week…
If you played the original version of Dancing In The Moonlight by King Harvest at a wedding or party, you’d clear the floor. The crowd would demand the execrable Toploader cover and you’d be the dick for trying to be clever when all folks wanted was an excuse to shake their bits to a familiar tune. I could say that there’s no accounting for taste, but a couple of years of music retail taught me one important lesson—never sneer at the customer’s musical taste. They like what they like, and you don’t get to judge.
The Oscar nominations this week typically generated drama, which of course is the best way to get people talking about a tired and unrepresentative awards show. I don’t pay the list of runners and riders much attention. I’m sure Margot Robbie and Greta Gerwig can go home and cry about the so-called snub on a mattress stuffed with Barbie profits. A bigger crime to me is the refusal to acknowledge the incredible work stunt people do every year, risking their skin for our entertainment. Luckily, Vulture magazine has stepped up. There are some jaw-dropping moments in this list.
Science fiction is a house with many rooms. The worrying thing is I not only recognised most of these sub-genres, I knew what books and movies are being gently mocked…
All The Types Of Science Fiction
Here is your regular reminder that Vittles is host to some of the best food writing out there, and you really should subscribe. The current multi-part series on Paris, its changing restaurant culture and how this informs a broader cultural shift is honestly fascinating. And, frankly, hilarious. Part five, on the way restricting your focus can free up creativity is deep, rich and very satisfying.
When I describe a restaurant as feeling ‘Parisian’ what I usually mean is that it’s tiny, open for three hours a day and run by a lunatic.
As a self-published author who views the book trade with a mix of suspicion and dread, I found a lot to agree with while reading this pseudonymous piece in The Fence on how to get your magnum opus into Waterstone’s. Folks, the game is well and truly rigged.
Getting Your First Book Published
A new Narnia book, written by acclaimed author Francis Stoffard, should be one of the publishing events of the decade. Instead, the Lewis estate is uninterested and The Stone Table is in limbo. Once again, the game is rigged. There’s always Archive Of Our Own, Francis. Publish and be damned!
The old saying ‘there’s nothing as dated as yesterday’s future’ still has a lot of truth in it. SF of the 60s and 70s based plotlines on concerns which matched the times in which they were written, with focus on the fear of nuclear war, climate change and automation. The visions of the future were rooted in the present. It’s fascinating to read what the experts of 1974 thought this year would look like.
I had, to my shame, never heard of Neil Kulkarni until his obituary circulated this week, followed by heartfelt tributes from the writers he inspired and took under his wing. In the face of an increasing backlash over the role of the critic, it’s striking just how much Neil was loved, not just by his peers but by writers who would take his example on move on up. This, by comics writer Kieron Gilles, gives the truest flavour, I think.
While we’re on the subject, this 2017 exploration of Elijah Quashie, the Chicken Connoisseur, seems even more relevant now than when first published. What and who is criticism for? Who gets to decide what’s good or bad, and under what context and background? We’re heading back towards the version of Dancing In The Moonlight we play at the wedding, aren’t we?
Criticism can be as simple as offering a compliment on a job or service well done. Which has its own pitfalls, as Mike Sowden of Everything Is Amazing points out. As a Brit, I know I’m terrible at both giving and receiving praise. I suspect a lot of the Readership is the same.
Lastly, I really want to big up this gorgeous reimagining of The Princess Bride with an expertly chosen alternative cast. The final image is perfect.
In a fine example of Rob Getting To The Party Late, here is my current low-key musical obsession. The perfect mix of rock chops, glam-punk attitude and fancy dresses are all excellent reasons to stan hard on The Last Dinner Party. They were on my radar but I foolishly viewed them as some sort of of novelty act until their recent appearance on Stephen Colbert’s late night show gave me a taste of what I’d been missing. And that pronunciation of ‘NU-THING MATTAARS’? CHOICE.
See you in seven, fellow travellers.
January 20, 2024
The Swipe Volume 2 Chapter 3
This time yesterday I had four links ready for The Swipe and very little else. I thought I’d have to pull up something from the archive for you all to read. And then, as a quiet afternoon wore on, the links started appearing, in newsletters, through the newsfeeds. By the time House Of Games started, I had a full roster. Sometimes the universe will provide, even if it takes its bleedin’ time.
Of course, I could have just taken a week’s break. But the newsletter has been running as an unbroken chain since May 2020. You might not notice I hadn’t posted. But I would.
Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.
Rob is reading…
Venomous Lumpsucker by Ned Beauman. A globe-spanning near-future adventure which takes the very real horror of climate change and species extinction and builds a romp around them. I was very strongly reminded of Neil Stephenson, particularly in his less SF-nal tales like REAMDE and Termination Shock. Still not sure about the ending, but otherwise the book is a hoot and a worthy winner of the Arthur C. Clarke award.
Rob is watching…
Reacher, on Amazon Prime. The promise of the first season is fulfilled in the new stack of episodes, based on Bad Luck And Trouble. The big fella teams up with members of his old military unit as it becomes clear that they are being bumped off one by one. The team mechanics give a fresh, lighter air to what is a pretty dark story. It’s pretty funny. It’s also extremely well cast, with Alan Ritchson solid as a rock as the main man. This is great action TV. TLC and I, long-time fans of the books, are hooked.
Rob is listening…
to Bleachers. Yeah, fine, Chinatown is bordering on pastiche even before you factor in the guest star. But when it all kicks off I got chills zipping up and down my spine like New Jersey lightning. It’s good enough for a cold January when all you really want is to be rolling down a turnpike in an open-top Caddy with The Boss riding shotgun.
Rob is eating…
Thor’s Pie. Winter barbeque? Why the heck not?!
Rob’s Low-Key Obsession Of The Week…
The angry lady from the British Airways Holidays ad. She is so poised and elegant yet so righteously aggrieved on our behalf. Honestly, I think these commercials are beautifully executed. The writing and performance is on point. The phrase ‘stay much less dead for much much longer’ is a polished, shiny gem. Turning the legal boilerplate ‘ATOL Protected’ into a punchline? Genius.
How does Taylor Swift manage to perform for three and a half hours a night on The Eras tour without a break? She recently shared her workout regime and well, brutal doesn’t begin to cover it. Ultra-runner Zoë Rom takes us through it.
You may not have heard of Italian liqueur Tuaca. Unless you live in Brighton. In which case, you can’t get away from the stuff. It sounds like an amaro I need to try. And it’s been a while since I hit Party Town…
A good shower thought can subtly shift a tiny element of your existence and make you question the whole thing. The human mind, particularly in those quiet moments where it’s allowed to wonder and wander, is capable of some really odd twists in logical assumption.
Tyromancy is the art of telling the future through the medium of cheese. That’s it, that’s the link.
We need a wider, weirder web. The walled gardens of the social networks don’t allow for healthy cross-pollination of ideas and conversation. The second era of blogs and homebrew online spaces is coming. For it to succeed, we need the tools to quickly and easily make our claim on digital acreage—in short, as easy as setting up an account on Facebook. For full transparency, Excuses And Half Truths runs as a WordPress-hosted build. I’ve always been happy with it, but there needs to be other options.
The end of 2023 saw me hit an age where filling in web forms pushes me one button down on the age demographic clicker. So yeah, getting old is something I think about now. Sarah Wilson takes a warmly nuanced look at the inevitable.
If you do anything creative and put it out for other people to look at, you will have to deal with imposter syndrome, that little voice in your head which tells you you’re not good enough, you have no talent, no-one believes in you, everyone’s laughing. Sound familiar? That’s a direct quote from my tiny critic. It’s important to have an element of self-awareness but in general, you’re being too hard on yourself.
I did not know how much I needed Steven Hyden’s ranking of every Radiohead album and side-project, until I started reading and couldn’t stop. As a fan from The Bends on, the list was like slipping into a hot bubbly bath of nostalgia and fandom. The weekend’s soundtrack will have a very distinct vibe, I think.
Everything In It’s Right Place
When you think of dance legends, the name of David Byrne does not spring naturally to mind. But you have to agree the man’s got moves. This ain’t no fooling around…
Last up, the joy of the vending machine in all its multi-functional magnificence. My personal favourite is the cheese vending machine at Cote Hill Farm shop in Lincolnshire. Cheese on demand! What a world of wonders we live in!
Yes, yes, OK, Olivia Rodrigo twice in two weeks. But let’s face it, she’s got the writing chops and her songs shine brightly from behind the Tiny Desk. This is a really good set.
See you in seven, fellow travellers.
January 13, 2024
The Swipe Volume 2 Chapter 2
I’m not sure why the January flood and cold snap always manages to take us by surprise. It’s been like this for the last ten years. Disappointingly mild Christmas, then we hit the New Year and the heavens fall while the mercury goes through the floor. To be fair, though, it’s all hit extra hard this year, and Berkshire has taken a kicking.
I don’t intend to minimise the distress of every home and business in Reading that’s been affected. I hope everyone gets the help they need with no unnecessary insurance company foolishness. Now is not the time to lowball the customer base, right? With that in mind I urge you, if you’re local and if you can, to get across the Playhatch roundabout and visit The Flowing Spring on the way to Henley. They’re open, despite the duck pond in the car park, and could really use the business.
Meanwhile, TLC and I are keeping warm and cosy, hitting the hibernation button hard. The Christmas oversupply of treats is going down slightly more quickly than planned but, hey, you gotta keep your strength up, right?
Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, stay safe and dry and welcome to The Swipe.
Rob is reading…
An Open Letter To Jeremy Allen White
Look, I get man crushes, OK?
Rob is watching…
I have mentioned previously that I enjoy watching guitar restoration videos. This is the next step—a kindly luthier makes a bass guitar for his honestly adorable six-year-old daughter. Immerse yerself in this one, and goggle at the beauty of the final build.
Rob is listening…
to a collection of songs which turn 40 years old in 2024. This makes me feel very, very old.
Rob is eating…
Beans. An Instant Pot full of an all-sorts mix, flavoured with the stock made from the bones of some M&S Korean-style chicken we had in the week, a couple of chorizo and a passila chili. Smoky, warming, comforting.
Rob’s Low-Key Obsession Of The Week…
I am thinking about becoming a Tea Monk.
I’m sure I’ve posted this before, but Elmore Leonard’s writing rules always bear repeating. Also, I like the word ‘hooptedoodle.’ You sort of know what it describes even if you’re not sure.
I don’t do resolutions any more, in the knowledge that my to-do lists are where good intentions are sent to die of neglect. If I did make promises I intended to keep, this list from The Marginalian would be a good base to start from.
How many original members does it take to make for a band to still be that band? Is Chic still Chic now it’s effectively the Nile Rodgers Band? How many versions of UB40 do we need? Let’s dig into this vexed question along with the founders of Blondie and gang Of Four…
To find the man, look for the father. Winston Churchill was many things to many people, but it’s pretty clear he was deeply messed up by his relationship with his dad. This letter from Lord Randolph would, if I had received it at a young age, done a number on me. Killer last line, too.
Scientists are deeply strange people. Don’t be fooled by the public displays of logic and rigorous method. I know folk in the scientific community who would do exactly what has been chronicled at the link below with the same lack of foresight or consideration. Idiots, every single one of them.
This next link keys into my professional interests as well as my unpaid job as the guy who regularly has to disable the motion-smoothing option on the parent’s and in-law’s TVs.
They Want You To Forget What A Film Looks Like
How many X-Men comics do you think are published every month? How about Batman? The answer—far, far more than you think and for very sound economic reasons. If you think the MCU has got complicated, you are in for a surprise…
I’m still befuddled by the blowback certain elements of social media have fired at movie sex scenes. It seems at best prudish, at worst censorious. Films have always used sex as a narrative device—it’s isn’t just an excuse to slip a bit of porn into proceedings (although, fair disclosure, I have worked on projects where that was precisely the case). Onscreen intimacy should not be sidelined or edited away. It has meaning, helping us to see every working part of a fictional relationship.
I offer new evidence in my ongoing assertation that Comics Do It Better. In this case, how the US Government used (and continues to use) funny-book solutions to real world problems in both the public and military arenas. Like, for example, how to start your M561 cargo truck in cold weather…
We’ll finish in a little more Ninth Art goodness. Joel Morris considers how digital restoration of classic comic art can lessen its original impact. These works were designed to be printed, distributed and consumed in a very particular way. The artists and writers involved knew how to build power out of the limitations imposed on them by the process. Taking that away in retrospect and smoothing out the rough edges seems—wrong, somehow.
The new big noise comes from Dublin, courtesy of scrappy punk kiddies Sprints. The new album, Letter To Self is pleasingly abrasive, scouring off the last of the Christmas cheer like a quick run round the sand-blaster. I like them a lot, and I think you will too if you don’t already.
See you in seven, fellow travellers.
January 6, 2024
The Swipe Volume 2 Chapter 1
Soggy New Year! 2024 has begun with All The Weather, storms rolling across Britain in a violent attempt to scour humanity off the land. My daily commute through the picturesque Thameside village of Sonning has tested the car’s amphibious capability to the limit. Your thoughts and prayers please for Sonning resident George Clooney, whose £12m mansion has several new unexpected swimming pools. Snow next week, apparently. Say what you like about climate change, it keeps things interesting. It gives TLC and I another excuse to hunker down and work on the huge backlog of snacks and treats left over from Christmas. Another slice of pannetone? Don’t mind if I do!
Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to the 2024 volume of The Swipe.
Rob is reading…
The Devil In The Marshalsea by Antonia Hodgson. This is a title which may be familiar to members of The Readership who haunt second hand bookshops. It’s one of those regulars, a book which everyone recommended, read and passed on. If you see a cheap copy, snap it up. A taut atmospheric tale of murder and treachery set in London’s most notorious debtor’s prisons in the mid-eighteenth century, it’s a quick read but highly diverting. Samual Fleet, an intriguing mix of Sherlock Holmes and Loki is the stand-out character, much more interesting than the bland curate-turned-rake hero.
Rob is watching…
The Taskmaster New Year Treat. You all know of my love for the show, but the 2024 opener took things to a whole new level. It shows off a brilliant choice of contestants who really stepped up to the mark and allowed their silly sides out. Greg seemed to have the time of his life. It’s sweet, hilarious and giddy with the joy of madcap invention. Honestly, even if you’ve never watched the show before, an hour spent in the Taskmaster’s company will cheer you up no end.
Rob is listening…
to Mdou Moctar, A Touareg guitarist based in Niger, whose music is one of those regular reminders that the blues is older and much more universal than we think. There are elements of psych rock in here too. You can sense an ancient vein of tradition threading through the music, an unspoken history we all instinctively understand.
Rob is eating…
Yorkies. Strangely, we didn’t get any with Christmas dinner this year (it was a slightly stripped back affair and all the nicer for it) but I now have a hankering for the crunchy puffiness. Kenji Lopez-Alt does the lord’s work in cutting some of the myths and legends around the creation of the perfect yorkie down to size. I feel a toad-in-the-hole coming on. I have a ton of pigs in blankets in the freezer…
Rob’s Low-Key Obsession Of The Week…
Motion Extraction. Just watch the video and prepare to have your little minds blown.
I am happy to debunk any rumours of paranormal activity in the former home of one of my favourite authors. I reckon the place is haunted, though, if only by the benign and positive energy Kurt left behind.
Kurt Vonnegut’s House Is Not Haunted
Tegan O’Neil’s review of the first edition of the collected Nemesis The Warlock totally nails the weird, wild anarchic vibe of the comic. Remember, this stuff was being pumped out weekly to impressionable kids like, erm, me. I was 10 when 2000AD first hit the newsagents. I snagged issue 2 and never looked back. Nemesis is part of my cultural makeup. CREDO!
In our regular look at How Comics Do It Better, Josh Neufeld explores the use of graphic works in medical education. Specifically, how doctors and patients can communicate more effectively with each other, helping with accurate diagnoses and, ultimately, a better experience for everyone. It’s not just bang pow zoom, you know.
A deep dive into the creation of a brilliant opening sequence for a brilliant film—the crash of the colony ship Hunter Gratzner in Pitch Black. The art and craft and graft that went into this two-minute sequence is astonishing.
The Fall Of The Hunter Gratzner
Everyone knows about Anne Frank, and rightfully so. Curt Bloch, another of the thousands of Jews hidden from the Nazis during the occupation of the Netherlands, didn’t just write diaries. He put out 95 issues of a satirical poetry magazine!
Kissas—Japanese jazz bars—are a fascinating example for a culture I can only really explain in terms of the English version. That would be the shed at the bottom of the garden to which the man of the house retreats to get some me time. Kissas seem a little forbidding, very male, properly geeky. I can’t see them as female-friendly spaces, but then maybe a guy just needs a moment with an obscure hard bop album and a glass of beer every so often…
Michael Gerber digs into the current Nazi issue rumbling around Substack and how, sometimes, pointed satire just isn’t the right tool for the job. I think the ‘Stack’s stance on ‘free speech’ is wrong-headed, but speaks to the essential truth behind the platform—controversy sells. Expect to see a sideways shift from some of your favourite writers, perhaps back to a self-built online space.
Defector, for the fourth year running, offers a run-down of medical emergencies that offer up a whole other set of questions. Full transparency—I was on the floor in a knot of giggles by the end of the list, which starts at the top and works down.
Did The Splits Near A Screwdriver
I wince whenever a celebrity airily announces they’ve written a children’s book. As if it’s the easiest thing in the world. They’re largely ghost-written, tossed off as another marketing opportunity, a waste of everyone’s time. Let’s not mention the nasty, spiteful work of David Walliams who has somehow taken all the ugliest bits of Roald Dahl’s output and amplified them. If I was a parent I wouldn’t let his books in the house. Look, writing for kids is hard. They are a tough audience who deserve the best. There are many great writers working in the field. Choose wisely and build the love of books into your little monsters. Which brings me to the magical moment in the middle of The Wind In Willows when Ratty and Mole meet a god. I’d like to see Ben Miller pull that off.
The Piper At The Gates Of Dawn
Last up, this roundtable discussion featuring some of our best modern songwriters is stuffed full with insights into creativity and craft. It takes a little while to get going but as the writers take control of the conversation, the whole thing takes flight. Take the hour and enjoy.
Let’s Outro with Richard Hawley, playing a live set in support of his new greatest hits package in his local. Hawley, like Mdou Moctar, channels a deep river of musical history, singing songs which feel timeless, plucked from the thick air of pub smoke and factory chimney and knitted into a warm hug. You know these songs, even if you don’t.
See you in seven, fellow travellers.
