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Guess what?! I’m back from my long (long) vacation. The most popular question now is “How are you doing?” And the answer? Tired. Very tired. Which is silly, having just gone on a vacation, but I drove 5,000 miles and did about a billion different things, so I think it’s somewhat defensible. Also, I took the red eye back and couldn’t sleep a wink, so yesterday I was running on a three hour nap that I grabbed once I got home. The good news is that I slept better last night, so that should be solved soon.

I’ve been out of the blogging habit for quite some time, and I’d really like to get back into it now that I’m home, with few interruptions looming in the future. Plus, I’ve got all these wonderful things to blog about from my trip, so that should give me plenty of fodder to keep things interesting.

The first order of business, however, is to get back on the “eating healthy and exercising” wagon. For some reason, driving thousands of miles and eating out at a plethora of restaurants wasn’t conducive to staying fit. (Scientists are stumped.) Setting a goal of eating as many milkshakes as possible might have also had something to do with this.

In any case, the net result was that when I stepped on the scale this morning, I was over 200 pounds for the first time in over 7 years. On the one hand, yay for having kept the weight off for that long. (Before then, I was usually around 220.) On the other, yikes! I had let things slip a lot over the past year or so, and I made a number of half hearted efforts to fix things, never really giving it the attention I should have been giving it. Being home and seeing that 2 at the start of the scale has (hopefully) smacked me back into focus. It also helps that I found myself missing my regular routine of eating oatmeal. (Yes. I’m strange.) Hopefully going back to old habits will fix this. I’ll be sure to keep you posted.

I’ve talked to Tomas each week still, even if he hasn’t been sending his weekly letters. I can say that he’s doing very well and seems to be very happy. The lack of letters is more from an “I’m very busy” spot than anything else. Hopefully he sends another one soon.

Now I’m off to continue slogging through emails. Wish me luck.

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Like what you’ve read? Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Thanks to all my Patrons who support me! It only takes a minute or two, and then it’s automatic from there on out. I’ve posted the entirety of my book ICHABOD in installments, as well as PAWN OF THE DEAD, another of my unreleased books. Where else are you going to get the undead and muppets all in the same YA package? Check it out.

If you’d rather not sign up for Patreon, you can also support the site by clicking this DON’T GO TO SLEEP Amazon link. It will take you to Amazon, where you can buy my books or anything else. During that visit, a portion of your purchase will go to me. It won’t cost you anything extra.

Tomas Update: Week 4 in Trenčín

Ahojte všetci! Big things this email, midtransfers hit and I am in Trenčín again with Elder Goodare now. Wasn’t expecting it at all but here we are! Quick updates on the week:

-our friend Kevin got baptized! It was a beautiful day and we did it in the river, overall just so cool!!

-last pday was very cool, we took a cable car up to the top of a mountain and then hiked around from there. The view was incredible and I would definitely recommend it, it was called Vrátna Dolina. 

-played two games of commander with the local crowd here. Osborne wok one and I won the other, the guys were definitely surprised that preconstructed decks could go that crazy. It was a great time and we have some good relationships now. Also Osborne drank 2.5 litera of Kofola across the time we were there, I don’t even know where he put it

-had a nice Sunday, an old missionary from 1999 came back to visit with his family of 6! Way cool to see him and he was so glad to hear how Slovakia ks doing now, 24 years later

-then today we just moved around everyone, currently on the packed, VERY hot train back to Trenčín. 

Overall, it’s been so good out here!! I ak definitely a little nervous about being the older missionary in this new companionship since I’ve never really done this before and have only been in Trenčín a month, but I think it’ll be okay. 

Pictures link as usual, I’ll make sure to add them:

https://photos.app.goo.gl/GHgGUxN4X6y5nvio8

Hope you’re all well and enjoying the summer weather! It is so hot out here already but it’s cut a bit by having ice cream all the time. Anyways, that’s it from me. 

S láskou,

Starší Cundick 

Summer Blog Break

I know I’ve already been somewhat spotty with the blog posts for the last while, and now I’m here with more bad news. I’m going to be away for the next while, often without easy internet access, and so there will be few posts for the next bit. I do plan to try and pop on with posts from Tomas when I can, and perhaps I’ll have some other things I just have to say. Who knows? But the kids are out of school as of today, and so we’re transitioning into vacation mode.

I hope you’re going to have a great summer. I’ve got a number of things lined up. Daniela’s going to be life guarding at Fiddle Camp, MC is taking tennis and swimming lessons, we’ve got a road trip to Utah, and I have plenty of writing in front of me. I hope to one day be able to share some news on that, but that day is not today, sadly. Know that there is news, however, and it’s good news.

In any case, happy summer, all!

Tomas Update: Week 2 in Trenčín

Ahojte všetci! Actuallya very uneventful week as both of us were sick for like most of it, so I don’t have a ton to say. 

The biggest thing is we visited a cool town in the south called Nové Zámky with our guy Kevin (it’s where he is from) which was cool to see. There were signs in Hungarian there because it’s so close to the border, and we actually heard a few people speaking Hungarian as well. It was a cool visit. 

Besides that we have just been hanging in here, not feeling the best but what can you do. Both of us put together a few more ties each and we slept a lot. If you don’t have the capacity or energy to really do anything you have to make do, as lame as it can be sometimes. But we are feeling better going into this week so I can probably tell you guys more next email. 

Finally, we visited a small set of ruins called Hričov in Žilina, which had an incredible view. It was a nice hike as well and easily bus-able so if you’re ever around I’d recommend it. 

New location, new album to keep things clean!

https://photos.app.goo.gl/GHgGUxN4X6y5nvio8

Hope you’re all well and not suffering from allergies.

S láskou,

Starší Cundick 

The Top Ten Pants

I had a reader request (sort of) earlier in the week for a post about pants. And I am definitely not one to shy away from a challenge or reasonable request, and so here I am, ready to tell you, the world, all about pants. There are many kinds of pants, so I’m going just going to look at the top ten. There’s a good chance your favorite kind of pants won’t make it on this list. That was definitely a deliberate decision, made to make you frustrated and angry. Because it’s my goal in life to make people as mad as possible about trivial things.

Like Grape Nuts.

Anyway, without further ado, I present to you, my top ten pants of all time.

Purposeful Omission 1: Capris. Fish or cut bait, capris. Are you really long shorts, or really short pants? If there’s anything I can’t stand, it’s a pair of indecisive pants. No soup for you!

Purposeful Omission 2: Kilts. No. Just no. I’m only putting this on here, because I know somebody’s going to try and pipe up about kilts, and I’m nipping that in the bud. Kilts can go on a list of skirts. Pants need two holes. Count ’em: two. One per leg. End of story.

Purposeful Omission 3: Bell Bottoms. These are pants that started as pants, but halfway down the leg they took a look at skirts and started to think they’d really rather switch sides. Also, they’re the chameleon of pants. You can make bell bottoms out of just about anything. They’re more of a cut than a real type of pants. Let’s just leave them out of the equation.

Honorable Mention: Shorts. While shorts are pants, I suppose, they’re really a beast of their own, and probably deserve their own blog post. You’ve got short shorts, daisy dukes, jean shorts, and more. In other words, if we let shorts into the room, then there’s not enough room for the full blown pants, and we wouldn’t want that to happen. Would we?

10: Camouflage: There is a time and a place for everything. If you’re in the jungle, trying to stay away from an invisible alien that stalks humans for fun, then camouflage is most definitely your go to choice for pants. Trying to do it in anything else just wouldn’t make sense. Also, if you’re in battle in general, then you need to keep people from seeing you. I get that. I respect it. But if you’re walking around downtown or Walmart? I’m confused. Maybe that’s the point of the pants in public. The fact is, they get onto the list because of their specific use, but they get knocked to the bottom for their mis-use.

9. Fancy Pants/Suit Pants: These are tricky. On the one hand, if you’re wearing fancy pants, you’re probably either at a high paying job, or a swanky party. Ooh la la! On the other, you’re not comfortable. I mean, maybe you’re trying to pretend you’re comfortable, but my guess is you’d really rather be wearing any other pair of pants on this list. Or even no pants at all. Plus, people use this term to make fun of other people at times. Any pair of pants that endorses bullying in any form can’t get any higher on this list than #9. Fact.

8. Overalls: Quite versatile in use, overalls can be applied in many different situations. They also complete avoid the whole “do I need a belt” debate many pants come with. I respect that. At the same time, however, they really push the envelope when it comes to the question of “Are they pants?” I mean, once overalls are in the mix, shouldn’t leisure suits be in too? Or jump suits? We can’t have that. But overalls are the go to pants when directors want to make someone look like a hick. How can you not include them on any serious top ten list, just for that alone?

7. Leggings/Yoga Pants: I debated a long time about these. On the one hand, they’re kind of like pantyhose, which are a whole different beast. But they’re used as pants by many, and so in the end, I decided they needed to go on the list. Still, they’re tricky to rank. On the one hand, they can look really good, no question. But they also sometimes flaunt the very concept of pants. Like, aren’t pants there to make us less naked? Some of the yoga pants I’ve seen didn’t get that memo, or else they just skimmed it.

6. Sweat pants: I’m not a huge sweat pant sort of a person, but I can respect the tremendous role these pants play in so many lives. Whether it’s people using them to work out, or people who just want to be comfy, these pants can do a lot. And yet, tragically, they’re also abused. Worn in places and circumstances that just don’t call for them. That’s a flaw in the pants. A truly great pair of pants is easy to understand and hard to mess up. Sorry, sweat pants. Let’s be honest, though: you didn’t really care about how high up you ended on the list, anyway.

5. Snow Pants: No, they’re not really comfortable. But you know what? The world would be a worse place without these. Bravely defending us against the harsh winter snows. They take one for the team, allowing us to go frolic and play while they slowly freeze themselves into a stiff plank that will later have to be thawed out in front of a fire, only to undergo the same abuse the next day. They work so hard, they need a whole half year or more to recover. Let’s all have a moment of silence out of respect for the noble snow pants.

4. Khakis: Sometimes you have to go some place dressy, but you really don’t want to have to dress up. For this reason, khakis were invented. They’re as close as you can get to jeans as possible, while still being able to say you’re not just being casual. Like jeans, they go with pretty much anything. If you buy the right ones, they can be comfortable, as well. That’s a lot of good to say about a pair of pants, and no one’s pant wardrobe is complete without at least a pair of these.

3. Big Boy Pants: Yes, they’re sometimes used as a borderline pejorative, but these pants are very, very necessary. For one thing, wearing them means you’re out of diapers, and I think we can all agree that we’re extremely proud of that fact. (Or at least, we should be. It doesn’t last forever, folks.) But more than that, big boy pants are required for many of the hardest challenges of life. You’ve got to have a pair handy whenever it comes time to really bear down and get to work. Perhaps most impressively, often they’re simply metaphorical. Are you seeing this, camouflage pants? Big boy pants are literally invisible. Take some notes.

2. Pajama pants: Any day when you can keep these on the entire day, and you’re not sick, is probably a good day. Whether it’s for lounging around or simply because you’re too lazy to change pants when you have to go to class, wearing these are a statement. “World, I don’t care about what you’re doing. I’m gonna just sit back and not worry.” Pajama pants abide, plain and simple. Yes, sometimes they come across as tacky, but you know what? They don’t care. That’s bold. Confidence in action. And for that, they get the #2 spot on the list.

1. Jeans: How could any other pair of pants be at the top? They excel at just about anything they’re asked to do. Comfy? Check. Durable? Double check. Worn by the young and old alike? Check. A long history of excellence? Check. I wear jeans just about every day. There can be only one #1, and there is no question that jeans are king of the mountain.

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Like what you’ve read? Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Thanks to all my Patrons who support me! It only takes a minute or two, and then it’s automatic from there on out. I’ve posted the entirety of my book ICHABOD in installments, as well as PAWN OF THE DEAD, another of my unreleased books. Where else are you going to get the undead and muppets all in the same YA package? Check it out.

If you’d rather not sign up for Patreon, you can also support the site by clicking this DON’T GO TO SLEEP Amazon link. It will take you to Amazon, where you can buy my books or anything else. During that visit, a portion of your purchase will go to me. It won’t cost you anything extra.

Tomas Update: Week 1 in Trenčín

Okay just a quick update about the past week, things have been pretty crazy this week so it’ll just be a small one. Basically I live in Trenčín now!! That’s super exciting because my family lives here and I can help the area my mom grew up in. It’s been really cool to see the city again, and also different because I’m a missionary now. I’m excited to keep working here and getting things going!

Highlights of this week include the train driver letting us watch him drive on Monday, and I’d post pictures but he said not to so they don’t fire him…

We visited a folklore festival to see how it would be and it was a super fun and cool experience! We will be going back and talking to more people. 

We figured out how to do light painting with my camera so that’ll be cool. 

Also a fun day just heading out to Piešťany to see how people were there and find the famous 60⁰ C egg water. That stuff was weird. 

Anyways that’s about all I’m up to writing for this week, so here’s photos for the week. 

https://photos.app.goo.gl/qYoYaKPmkqFZHoVM7

Hope you’re all well and see you next week!

S láskou,

Starší Cundick

****DAD EDIT****

Stepping in here for a moment to add a bit to the post. It’s the advantage of having supreme editorial control of my blog. Tomas has been super busy as he moved from Žilina to Trenčín. Transferring between areas on a mission is always a pretty big deal, and it’s usually the most difficult the first time. You’ve been in an area for a while, you’ve feel like you’ve got it all down, and then suddenly you’re somewhere brand new, with yet another new companion, and you can feel like you’re back to square one. It can be daunting, but he really is doing great, based on our weekly chats.

He’s having a particularly difficult time with allergies, though. Something’s in the air in his new city that wasn’t there in the old one, and it’s making his life fairly miserable. We’re not sure what it is. He’s always had allergies, but he’s had OTC medication that has done the trick to keeping them at bay. That stuff isn’t working now. I know he’s going to a pharmacist today to see what else he might use, and I’ve recommended he go to an actual doctor to get tested for allergies and find out what exactly it is that’s causing them. We’ll see what happens, but if you could keep him in mind and send positive vibes his way, I’m sure it would be appreciated.

And if you happen to have dealt with allergies yourself, and you’ve got any pointers, I’m all ears . . .

Budgeting for Early Retirement: Part 2

Okay, folks. Last Friday, I wrote about how I was suddenly thinking about retiring early, but quite a bit daunted by just how exactly I’d go about doing that. I haven’t been actively budgeting for a while, and I started to take a look at my spending habits, trying to figure out just how much I’d need to comfortably retire. It was a lot. That didn’t mean I was giving up on the concept of retiring early, but it did mean I was resolved to the fact that I was likely going to have to budget like a madman to get anywhere near where I wanted to be.

Well, my brother happens to be a fancy-pants financial planner (that’s the technical term. I checked.), and he saw my post and said we should really talk about this. It took me all of one second to agree that was a good idea, and Sunday, we had a nice long chat, and the bottom line from that chat is that I feel a whole lot better about my financial future. I will try and share what I took notes on, so that you too might possibly feel the same. (Except about your financial future, not mine. I assume you don’t care nearly as much about mine as I do.) Some of this is stuff I’d read about on different blogs already, with the big difference being that Joel had some very important additional observations that cast much of that in a different light. So with a disclaimer that I might get some of this wrong, and I am definitely not a fancy-pants financial planner, here’s what I walked away with.

Figuring out how much you need to retire is pretty straightforward. If you can build a basic budget now, you can build a basic budget for some future point in time. Will your house be paid off, or will you still have rent or a mortgage to worry about? Will you still have two cars? Do they need to be nice cars? Do you want to go on vacations? How nice of vacations, and how many? Do you want to lavish your kids with gifts? Imagine you’re old enough to retire today, and make a budget for that. Then, you need to account for inflation. How much will what that amount you need to live on cost when you need to retire? From 1960 to today, the average rate of inflation in the US has been 3.7%. Say you want to live on $40,000/year right now when you’re retired, and that’s twenty years from now. At that point, it will be more like $83,000/year. (Take 40,000 and multiple it by 1.037 twenty times.) That’s a base line. Could it be more? Yes, if inflation is steeper on average. Could it be less? Also, yes. But it’s close enough to plan around.

From savings, you can reliably count on withdrawing 4% of your savings/year, and have that last you for 30 years. (This is based on a study that looked at people who might have retired from the 1920s through today, and calculating how much money they would have had if they spent 4% of their savings per year, and how long it would have taken them for that money to disappear. Over all that time, 4% was the worst case scenario.) So if you want to be prepared for retirement, you should have enough money saved up to withdraw 4% of that savings each year, also anticipating that the money that’s still there will continue to appreciate in value. (Joel used 7% for that amount of appreciation.)

However, you also have social security to factor in. Yes, the glib “I don’t think any of that will be left for me” answer is fine and dandy, but it’s very much overly reductive. There’s a lot of money left in social security. (A lot.) Even if the system totally breaks down, there’s enough there for it to keep paying people 70% of what they’re owed for 50 years. You can figure out exactly how much social security benefits you’ll have by logging into their website. Your benefits are calculated off the 30 highest years of your earnings, and it has a calculator that does all of that for you. You get a certain amount per month if you start taking it before 67, a standard amount at 67, and even more if you start taking it at 70. Joel likes to tell his clients to assume you’ll get the “retired at 67” amount if they end up retiring at 70.

But wait! There’s more! Your spouse also gets social security. How much? That depends. If they worked, then they can also go onto the site and see how much they’re going to get. However, a spouse is entitled to 50% of your social security benefits, even if they didn’t work a year in their life. If their earned benefits are greater, then they get that greater amount. (No extra 50% or anything like that, though.) Basically, between you and your spouse, take the greater social security benefit, chop it in half and compare that to the lesser benefit, then count on getting whichever is greater.

That’s money they get while you’re still alive, by the way. It’s not some “survivor benefit.” So let’s assume your spouse gets the 50% benefit. That means together, you get 150% of your calculated benefit each month. (And good news! That also goes up with inflation, so it sticks with you.) Bottom line is that if you can make it until you’re 70, social security will kick in and give you a steady source of income. (Though be aware that the social security calculator assumes you’re going to keep the same job until you retire. If you plan on retiring early, you need to account for that, something the calculator also lets you do. Math will be involved, though.)

I realize this all seems pretty complex, but the good news (for me?) is that it all makes sense in my head. Big takeaways to this point:

Calculate how much it would cost you to live as a retired person today, and then project outward based on that.Don’t forget social security will help you out once you’re around 67 or 70, more or less.

This all ignores any additional money you might get from anything else. Do you want to work part time, for funsies? That lowers your monthly expenses. What about your spouse? If both of you simply want to go from working full time to working part time, that might be very doable to do much earlier, depending on your savings and the money you’ll make working part time.

After looking at all of this with Denisa, it was very clear to us that we need to make some decisions now, to be able to plan for then. What is it we want to do when we “retire”? What will that look like? There are plenty of people out there who end up still working, because that’s what they enjoy doing, and they’d rather not do anything else. That’s totally fine. I personally would love to shift over to writing books full time, sooner rather than later. Denisa would like to still teach, it sounds like. That means between the two of us, we should still have some steady income, even if we do throw in the towel on full-time employment.

Of course, one big disclaimer is health insurance, which you have to factor in, since America has this broken system where unless you’re working full-time, you’ve got to pay through the nose to have insurance. The good news is that there is private insurance out there, and the Affordable Care Act made it at least somewhat more affordable. But you need to look into that.

How about some good news? Most retirement sites out there talk about you needing something like 70% of your pre-retirement salary to live on. That’s basically garbage for many people. Don’t use a rule of thumb like that. Actually figure it out for yourself. But also, those articles ignore a basic fact: most people begin to spend less, the older they get. As much as we’d like to keep traveling the world and living life to the fullest, our health will sooner or later begin to put a hamper on that. You get to the point where you start telling your family they’re going to have to come visit you, not the other way around. And the thought of traveling to Europe and seeing the sights just doesn’t have the same appeal. So you stay home more. Do less. Spend less. Do take that into account as well. (Joel said to plan roughly on that switch happening when you’re 80, but you do you.)

So what does this look like in practice? I’ll use myself as the test case. Denisa and I are thinking of retiring to Slovakia. The cost of living there is about 60% what it is here. Health care coverage is also much cheaper. I’m planning on continuing to write. Denisa plans on teaching some. We’d like to travel a lot, and we’d also like to serve some church missions. (Quick aside on missions, if you’re a Latter-day Saint. You can check right now what missions are available to senior couples, and that includes a “price per month” for that mission. Denisa and I could go on a 2 year mission to Slovakia, and it would cost us around $2,750/month, which includes housing and health care. That’s $33,000/year, which is a pretty darn cheap way to live, though yes, it’s far from being retired. It’s just something we’d like to do. So we can do it.) We’ve thought about buying a house in Slovakia, but we’ve also talked about renting there, and then living sort of . . . on the move for a while. Rent for a month in Slovakia, then a month in Italy, then a month in Germany, then a month in New Zealand. There are online jobs Denisa could get, and I can write literally anywhere. It’s something to think about.

Once the kids are out of the house, our expenses drop by a good deal. Vacationing also becomes much less expensive. Our house will be close to paid off, and we could also sell it and reinvest the money if we don’t outright buy a place right away. We’d really like to have very little “stuff,” and focus on “experiences.”

Say we wanted to live on $40,000/year until we’re 80, and then $30,000/year after that. If we save an additional $22,000 each year for the next 8 years, we could just stop working then. Completely. Don’t write any books. Don’t teach any classes. Just be done. Denisa wants to live until she’s 100, so that’s how long I extended it out. When we’re 100, we’d have $4,200 left to our name. (Don’t spend your inheritance all in one place, kids.) (Though of course, when we’re 90, we’d still have $260,000.)

Is $40,000/year enough to live happily on? No idea. We have to look into just what living in Slovakia entails precisely. We’re also not sure we’d want to head to Europe right away. If the kids are still in American universities, we might want to be around them for a while. Though we could always sell the house and just bum around the country for a while. (Oh, and that $40,000/year retirement doesn’t take into account anything about the money we’d make from selling our home. If we took all that and reinvested it, we’d have quite a bit more money to live on.)

But I’m no longer in the mindset of “I shouldn’t think about retirement, because it’s around 25 years away.” It isn’t. Depending on what I want it to look like, it’s as close as 8 years, if I play my cards right. One of the biggest takeaways I had from my talk with Joel is that right now is the most important time to invest. Generally speaking, properly invested money can double every 10 years. If I put $10,000 away this year, in twenty years, it will be worth $40,000. If I wait to start seriously saving until ten years from now, that $10,000 would only be worth $20,000 at retirement. The earlier you can sock money away, the better. But there’s no use worrying about what you should have done earlier. Worry about where you are now, and what you need to do to get to where you want to be.

Oh, and one other takeaway I had from Joel is that becoming an ultra-budgeter right now isn’t necessarily the best decision, either. My kids are with me. We’re doing fun things. Living it up. Enjoying life. That’s great, as long as I’m preparing for the future. I won’t have these same opportunities when my kids are all grown and moved off. This is a one time deal. That was good advice.

And one other takeaway was don’t pay off your mortgage. Well, generally speaking, don’t. Right now, my mortgage rate is 3.75%. If I put money into paying it off, I’m basically “making” 3.75% on that money, best case scenario. If I take that same money and invest it in retirement, I’d generally make around 7%. 7% is more than 3.75%. You take it from there. (If your mortgage has a much higher rate, this advice may be different, clearly. But much of the “pay off your mortgage” advice comes from back when rates were more like 10% or more, back in the 80s. It’s no longer relevant.)

And . . . that’s about all I’ve got for you. I’m happy to try to answer questions, with the big disclaimer that I probably don’t know any more about what I’m saying than you do. Joel might pop up in my Facebook feed, though. He’s a pretty helpful guy, though he sadly generally only does financial planning for fancy-pants people, when they’re not directly related to him. (Otherwise I’d be giving him referrals like hotcakes.) Many thanks to him for taking the time to talk this through. (Did I get anything wrong, Joel? I’ll edit, if so . . .)

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Like what you’ve read? Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Thanks to all my Patrons who support me! It only takes a minute or two, and then it’s automatic from there on out. I’ve posted the entirety of my book ICHABOD in installments, as well as PAWN OF THE DEAD, another of my unreleased books. Where else are you going to get the undead and muppets all in the same YA package? Check it out.

If you’d rather not sign up for Patreon, you can also support the site by clicking this DON’T GO TO SLEEP Amazon link. It will take you to Amazon, where you can buy my books or anything else. During that visit, a portion of your purchase will go to me. It won’t cost you anything extra.

Budgeting for Early Retirement

I’ll be honest. The idea of “retiring” has always been something that I’ve almost completely ignored, mainly because it’s felt so far away. Through my work, I get 14% of my salary stashed into a 401k each month, and so I’ve felt like that’s enough so that when I’m 65 or 70 or whatever the retirement age is, I’ll be able to retire and be fine. End of story.

Except now I’ve been thinking it from a different angle. To retire, I need to have saved enough money so that Denisa and I can live on the earnings. In other words, there’s an amount I could save that would make it so I could retire, and once I reach that amount, I don’t (theoretically) have to work anymore. And that doesn’t have to be when I’m 65 or 70. In fact, it would be dandy if it were earlier.

Because I’ve largely been ignoring retirement as a concept, my approach to budgeting has been much looser than it was in days past. I’ve gotten raises, Denisa’s gotten work, and my book sales have picked up to the point that when we need money, it’s always just kind of there. And I’d justify pretty much anything I wanted (within reason) to “celebrate” when a book sold or royalties came in. I’m not saying I was just spending like a madman, but I haven’t been paying that much attention to it. We’ve spent less than we earned. That’s all I needed to worry about, right?

Well, not when I’m suddenly thinking about retiring early. Because there’s a few dials you can turn in your calculations for that. You can take how much you spend each year and then figure out how much you’ll need to make to be able to afford that same lifestyle perpetually. At my rate right now, that’s around $2,750,000, assuming I’m spending the interest very frugally.

I don’t know about you, but I definitely don’t have that kind of money kicking around. Not half. Not a quarter. And the odds I’ll ever have that saved up with my 14%/year retirement approach are non-existent. So is it a lost cause?

Not hardly. Because what if I started to actually, you know, budget? What if I tried to cut costs, so that my yearly spending goes down? It’s a novel idea, I know. But if I actually made a list of everything I’m spending right now, then I could get a better handle on things. I think I’ve been avoiding doing that, mainly because I haven’t wanted to look at just how much I’ve been spending. It’s like not going to the dentist because you know you’ve got a seriously big root canal in your future. Not going doesn’t make it disappear.

So I’m doing it. I’m looking at what I spend each month. Once I’ve got all of that in front of me, I can look at it from a perspective of “would I still have this expense when I’m retired?” I can also find ways to reduce what I’m spending each month. From that, I can figure out how much money I’d actually need to have to retire. The lower I can get that monthly budget, the sooner I can retire.

Mind you, my goal isn’t to turn into a church mouse for the next decade or two. I still plan to go on vacations. I still plan to get my kids fun Christmas presents. (Though I’ll likely be spending much less money on Magic the Gathering . . .) I know from experience that my kids are only here for a certain amount of time. I want to have great memories with them during that time.

However, MC is going to be graduated from high school 8 years from now. 8 years used to feel like a lot of time. It doesn’t, anymore. What if I were to somehow get myself into a position where I might retire 8 years from now? It’s something to shoot for, at least. Or make it a decade, and retire when I’m 55?

Some things could affect that as well. Would Denisa still want to teach? Would I want to work part time? Would my books still be bringing in money? The more I look at it, the more feasible it all seems.

I definitely don’t live to work. I work to be able to live and enjoy life. Yes, it helps that I have a job that I feel helps other people, and contributes to society, but society will be just fine when I step away from it. So why not step away sooner, rather than later? Will I reach this goal? No clue. But I know I won’t reach it if I don’t even try, and if by trying, I make it so I can retire five years earlier, I’d say that was time well spent.

Wish me luck.

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Like what you’ve read? Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Thanks to all my Patrons who support me! It only takes a minute or two, and then it’s automatic from there on out. I’ve posted the entirety of my book ICHABOD in installments, as well as PAWN OF THE DEAD, another of my unreleased books. Where else are you going to get the undead and muppets all in the same YA package? Check it out.

If you’d rather not sign up for Patreon, you can also support the site by clicking this DON’T GO TO SLEEP Amazon link. It will take you to Amazon, where you can buy my books or anything else. During that visit, a portion of your purchase will go to me. It won’t cost you anything extra.

Would You Pay for Decent Social Media, Searching, and Shopping?

As I was talking about social media with some friends and family the other day, we were bemoaning just how bad it’s become. How inundated we are with ads and unrelated content in our feeds. Worse yet, we were reminiscing on how it used to be. Facebook in the early days, when you saw the content from your friends, and that was it. When you could actually see everything your friends posted, and you knew you wouldn’t miss anything.

When you actually had control over what you saw.

It occurred to me that I would pay good money to have that back, and I wonder why the platforms haven’t tried something like that. (Likely because they make more money the way they’re doing things now.) But it doesn’t seem like it needs to be that complex. A social media platform with different tiers. One could be free, and ad supported. Let people come and post as much as they want, and not have to pay for it. In essence, what Facebook is now. But then there could be another tier where you get no ads, or where you get full control over your feed, or where your data is removed from their databases. (I know. I’m dreaming now, right?)

In fact, you could charge piecemeal for each of those features. You could do a monthly rate, or charge less if you pay by the year. Monetization has been done to death at this point, so it’s not as if they don’t know how to get the most money out of people as they can. I’m just sick of the poor experiences I’m now getting online because everything’s modeled after advertising.

The same thing happens in Google results or Amazon searches. Sponsored content takes up more and more of the top hits, to the point that now you have to scroll a ways on an Amazon search to find anything reliable. Even when you find it, it’s hard to tell if it’s there because it’s a good product, or because Amazon pushed it hard for a month or two, and it sold lots of items because of that.

We put up with it, because that’s the way it’s done right now, but it doesn’t have to be that way. People could make money by selling the product, not selling customers as the product. What would it take for that to happen? First, a viable alternative to each of these offerings. A paid search engine where there are no ads. A paid social media network that gives you control. If the quality is good enough, and the price is right, one of those could reach critical mass, at which point more and more people hop on (for the social media example), and you get to the point where you can actually find most people on the service. I suppose with the others (searches and shopping), you don’t really need other people to use it, but with social media, the whole point is to be social. To have other people on there.

Maybe I’m just dreaming, and maybe if they did come out with something like that, it’d be outlandishly expensive. But strangleholds only seem permanent until something else comes along that breaks it wide open. Google, Amazon, and Facebook each feel like they’re getting to the point where they’re just so focused on making money that someone smaller and scrappier could come along and provide something much better. It wouldn’t be hard to improve the experience on each of those platforms, at this point . . .

Anyone else feel the same way?

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Like what you’ve read? Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Thanks to all my Patrons who support me! It only takes a minute or two, and then it’s automatic from there on out. I’ve posted the entirety of my book ICHABOD in installments, as well as PAWN OF THE DEAD, another of my unreleased books. Where else are you going to get the undead and muppets all in the same YA package? Check it out.

If you’d rather not sign up for Patreon, you can also support the site by clicking this DON’T GO TO SLEEP Amazon link. It will take you to Amazon, where you can buy my books or anything else. During that visit, a portion of your purchase will go to me. It won’t cost you anything extra.

A Quick Trip to New York

After I went to the latest revival of Into the Woods last summer and had such an incredible time, I definitely wanted to head back to see the new version of Sweeney Todd that was getting such rave reviews. I wanted to be sure to see it with the original cast, however (since more and more, I’m convinced that’s the main reason to pay a premium to see something on Broadway.) This meant going sooner, rather than later, except I had no real reason to go to New York City other than seeing the show, and making a specific trip just for the show seemed a little overkill

Except then I found out I had a free night at a Hilton certificate about to expire at the end of May, and suddenly I had another excuse to go (especially when I could pair it with a work lunch with my agent). So Denisa and I headed down Wednesday morning and back today, a trip that sounds kind of nutty when I write it out, but which has actually turned out really well.

First off, we flew down. I still hate flying, but the original plan had been to take the bus. That was going to involve getting up at 4am or so to make it to the bus on time, then driving for six hours, to arrive in NYC around 1pm. Doable, but hardly enjoyable. JetBlue had one way tickets from Portland to JFK for $65, though, so I switched over to that. The plane left at 10:10, and we were in downtown NYC by 12:30. (You can take a train straight from JFK to the subway, and then it’s just MTA from there on. Really easy.)

We stayed downtown in the theater district, and managed to fit in a lot of fun in just a bit of time. A stop by a Slovak/Czech Variety store in Queens, followed by lunch with my agent at Westville Hells Kitchen. Denisa was really happy with the variety of vegan options, and it was nice to catch up with Eddie again in person. (I hadn’t seen him face to face since pre-pandemic times.) We walked around Times Square for a bit, grabbed some Danish treats at Ole & Steen, and some far-from-great pizza at a random pizza by the slice place. (Hey, you win some and you lose some.)

Sweeney Todd was absolutely incredible. A 26 player orchestra, fantastic scene design and seriously creepy costuming and choreography. Deeply, deeply unsettling, and I loved every minute of it. Josh Groban sounded like an odd match for the musical, since he’s kind of a squeaky clean guy in my head, but it made a ton of sense once you saw him in action. Todd was a squeaky clean guy himself, back before everything took a nose dive. Groban really sold the transition from simply desire to vengeance to full on bloodlust, and his voice was incredible. The star of the show was most definitely Annaleigh Ashford as Mrs. Lovett, though. I’ve seen Angela Lansbury play the role in the recording, and I can’t say to how she would have come across live, but Ashford . . . just perfect. Her acting of the role, the comedic timing, all of it took the musical to another level. And who knew Dustin Henderson on Stranger Things had such a great voice?

So good.

The show finished at 11, and we were back to our hotel by 11:15. This morning, we slept in and then ate some of the treats from yesterday before checking out and going to Hummus Kitchen for lunch and Amorino’s for gelato. (We don’t get a chance for much variety in Maine, so when we’re somewhere that has it, we try to get as much as possible.) Both we very good, and then it was a twenty minute walk to the bus station, where we caught the bus back at 1:45. (For $85. More expensive than flying. Go figure.)

We’ll be home by 9 or so, and honestly, I would do it all again. (Though if I could score the cheap airfare both ways, I’d probably go for that. Even though I hate flying. On the plus side, the bus gave me plenty of time to catch up on work and writing, so I felt pretty dang effective. It’s helpful at times that so much of work has shifted to things that can be done remotely, even on a bus as you head back to Maine.)

My big takeaways were that I’d rather stay downtown in NYC from now on, and that going down and back in two days is nothing to shy away from. Manhattan will always be “the city” to me. Yes, it’s dirty and full of garbage and smells, and people can be really rude and there are tons of tourists, but . . . it’s still a place I love to be. That’s surprising, coming from a guy who’d really rather not be around people too much. Manhattan has been in my life for a long time, though, so it’s kind of like family, in a way.

If you’ve got a chance to see Sweeney Todd in the next few months, you should most definitely take it. Not to be missed.

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Like what you’ve read? Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Thanks to all my Patrons who support me! It only takes a minute or two, and then it’s automatic from there on out. I’ve posted the entirety of my book ICHABOD in installments, as well as PAWN OF THE DEAD, another of my unreleased books. Where else are you going to get the undead and muppets all in the same YA package? Check it out.

If you’d rather not sign up for Patreon, you can also support the site by clicking this DON’T GO TO SLEEP Amazon link. It will take you to Amazon, where you can buy my books or anything else. During that visit, a portion of your purchase will go to me. It won’t cost you anything extra.