Bryce Moore's Blog, page 206

Downton 5.5 Review: When Dumb Met Dumber

Really, at this point it’s beginning to feel almost too easy to point out the (many) flaws Downton is coming up with this season. It’s like they’re trying to see how little they can have happen. Like maybe the writers were sitting around the table one day, and one of them bet the other he could make the series go at least three episodes without having one single noteworthy thing happen. And then the others laughed and decided to give it a shot, and this is what we get.

Actually, as I write that, I realize I’m wrong. It’s not that nothing is happening this season. It’s that nothing I care about is happening. I mean, they introduce conflicts I find silly or trite or predictable, and then they resolve them in exactly the way I imagined they would resolve them, and so I have a hard time actually generating any real interest. It’s like watching someone solve a long addition problem. Except it’s in word problem form, and it involves characters you once cared about.

“Cora is traveling to London on a train that’s going 4mph . . .”

So is it any wonder that I’m not enthralled with what’s going on? They introduce silly plots and then solve them a few episodes later, with the characters not being changed at all by those plots. Snooze. But allow me to elucidate:

Cora and Art Dude–In a surprising twist that everyone on the planet (other than Cora) saw coming, Art Dude tries to get a bit Gillipants with Cora himself. And who should happen to come home at the exact same time? Lord “I Kissed a Maid” Grantham himself. The problem I have with this plot isn’t just that it broadcasted itself from galaxies away. It’s that it all plays out exactly how we saw it coming, with all the suspense of two very slow moving trains colliding into each other at 1 mph. Cora is too silly to just blow her top and demand Art Dude leave. Art Dude is too full of himself.  Lord Grantham punches the guy and then gets mad at Cora. Yaaaaaaawn. Denisa said she thought the plot was at least showing that these people were human and could make the same mistakes. I say Cora needs her head examined. But at least we’ve seen the last of Art Dude? (Please?) One other problem I have with this plot? It’s the second time they’ve used the “And then Lord Grantham just happens to be home early” plot device. Coincidence happens. I get that, and I accept it in a plot from time to time. Have it happen too much, and you stop giving it the benefit of the doubt.
Speaking of “Seen the Last of,” Schoolmarm takes that golden car ride to the sky and hopefully departs from all Downton parties forever. I love how there were so many conversations around her, with everyone wondering why Branson didn’t run after her to convince her to come to a few more soirees. And she’s all confused by why he might not really be that into her. Ugh. Talk about boneheaded. She should run off with Art Dude or Gillipants. Yuck.
Edith. Is. So. Stupid. I’m not kidding any more (because I was before.) This is the third episode in a row where all she does is go make yearning looks at her daughter. And she wonders why people are freaked out about this? She could become the villain in a horror movie at this point. Stick a hockey mask on her, and everyone would be having nightmares for weeks. Years, even. And her Aunt and Violet both try to talk her out of stupidity, and they’re surprised she doesn’t listen? Sigh.
Meanwhile, Murder She Wrote: Downton Edition is plodding forward, with the cops now all convinced it was Anna who did it. But I’ve finally figured out what’s going on here. Why they’re wasting so much time on this. They’re setting up a Poirot crossover episode! Forget Murder She Wrote. We’re going full Agatha Christie here. Boo yah! It’s either that, or we’re just going to be tortured with stupidity for the next few weeks . . .
Thomas is trying to drug the gay away. I suppose this is intended to make us feel somewhat bad for him as he proceeds to be a complete jerk to everyone on staff. But he was always a complete jerk, so this just is going nowhere but uncomfortable places. It’s like they made the main villain gay, and then they felt bad that they’d gone and made the main villain gay, and so now this is one long drawn out device to try and show they really have nothing against gay people, and didn’t they have it so rough back then? I’m all for exploring that. Just don’t do it in such a lame fashion.
Speaking of prejudice, Rose already had an African American boyfriend. So now she’s branching out to other areas of the prejudice tree and getting a Jewish boyfriend. Again–I have nothing against exploring some of the views of the time, and depicting them accurately. What I detest is using lame plot conventions to do it. Poor Rose gets plunged into any “special of the week” conflict that comes down the pike. And then they have to shoehorn the Russians into the mess? Please.
Molesley continues to be amusing. What I’d really like is a cage fight between Molesley and Violet’s butler. Sparky? Spackle? Speck? I can never remember his name. Or maybe Molesley and Carson could tag team him, since he seems like a blend of both characters.
Violet being terrified of Isobel getting married continues to be amusing, and one of the few highlights of the season. It doesn’t take much, people.

Maybe something will start happening interesting at some point. Or maybe I’ll just continue to enjoy taking potshots at the writing as it devolves into a nonsensical puddle from week to week. Either way, I guess I win? It’s a bad sign where the main source of entertainment you’re deriving from a show is taken from the ways you can make fun of it after you’ve seen it each week . . .

Anyone enjoying anything about this season? Anything at all?

Groundhog Day 2015: Snow City

It’s hard to believe that just a week ago, you could see plenty of lawn in front of my house. We live out in an open field, so our snow melts faster than many of our friends, but still–almost February, and we had so little snow? What is this–Miami Beach?

Not hardly.

We got the big blizzard last Monday night, followed by another 12″ or so Friday, and now there’s another 6-10″ falling at the moment. Oh. And I discovered there’s another 8-12″ forecast for Thursday. It’s like the gods of winter are trying to make up for missed opportunities. Not that I’m complaining, mind you. Snow days as a kid are a mixed blessing. Sure, you get the day off, but then you have to make it up later?

Snow days as an adult working year round? Pure gravy. There’s nothing to make up! Woot!

Last week, I was too sick to really appreciate them (and frankly, I’m still a fair bit sick now–this flu is terrible), but I had 2.75 snow days last week. The kids had a full 3. And today’s another snow day for all of us. Who knows what the storm will bring Thursday. Sometimes these things materialize, and sometimes they fizzle. All I know is that for today, Groundhog Day, we have the whole day to lounge around like the true groundhogs we are.

Alas, it means that there will be no party this evening, with the traditional Groundhog Games of Skill, or the Groundhog Treats, or the communal Groundhog Day viewing. But on the other hand, we’d already canceled, because I didn’t want to risk giving anyone the flu of death as a Groundhog Day present. So we’ll be having games of skill with just the family participating. I’m thinking it might involve lots of board games today. Video games might also be involved. There will be the movie, of course. And for treats, we might just use the cornucopia of treats we had for the Super Bowl yesterday (how ’bout that game, folks? CRAZINESS!).

The great thing about G-Day is there’s no way to really mess it up. You get to do whatever you want to do, every year. You don’t have to live by their rules anymore.

All you do is wake up and decide to have an awesome day, however you want it to be had. And then you go and make that day happen. Sometimes the weather gods smile on you and make things even easier on you, but even when you have work, you can still have a day of pure wow.

Anyway. I’m off to continue my own personal wow day. Wishing you and yours a wonderfulicious Groundhog Day. Let me know how you’re going to celebrate it today in the comments on here or on Facebook!

Quirky Movie Recommendation of the Week: Dean Spanley

Do you ever get tired of the same old movies, week after week? I don’t mean the same films. Rather, the same types. Boy meets girl. Buddy cop. Whodunnit. Biopic. After a while, they all start to blend together, don’t they? There are too many times that I have to admit I’ve seen a movie but can’t really remember what I thought about it. It’s gotten all mixed up with all the other movies in my head.

So it’s rare to find a movie that sticks out from the rest of the crowd. That’s truly different. Not in an artsy sort of way–it’s still intended for a wide audience. It’s just, the subject matter is so strange that you’ve never seen anything quite like it before.

Which brings us to my recommendation to you for movie watching this weekend. Dean Spanley. It’s on Netflix right this moment. It’s the sort of movie I would probably never have watched in a million years without Netflix. But the algorithm said I’d give it 5 stars, and I was in the mood for a 5 star sort of a film. (Sick all week, tired of being stuck in the house in bed, but not better yet.) I tend to trust that algorithm a fair bit, now that I’ve rated 2,231 movies through it. (Man–that’s getting up there? Anyone else want to let me know how many they’ve rated for comparison?)

What did I know about the film heading into it? Exactly what I’m going to tell you now: it’s about a man who goes with his father to hear a talk on reincarnation. And it’s a quirky comedy.

I don’t want to say much more than that, though there’s a lot I’d like to add. I just don’t want to risk spoiling anything about the movie for any of you who watch it. But here’s the deal–once you have watched it, please come back to leave a comment here or on Facebook. I’m really curious what other people will think about the movie. I know I can sometimes like movies a lot that other people find bizarre, and I’d love to chat with a few people about the movie.

I gave it 9/10 stars. It was thought provoking and interesting, though a tad slow in a few parts. It’s got a very nice performance by Peter O’Toole. Will you like it? Give it a shot and see. If you’re looking for quirky and different, drama and comedy, feel good and not too fast paced, you really can’t go wrong.

Plus, it was made by the UK and New Zealand. And I think we all know their track record when it comes to making movies.

One Blender to Rule Them All

I’ve always had blender envy. I’ll admit it. I’d eye those blenders out there that could puree a diamond, and then I’d look at mine. It wasn’t a bad blender. I mean, it cost like $60. It could get through ice cubes if it tried hard, and it made a decent milk shake. Cleaning it was a beast, and it was really big and bulky, but it was okay. It wasn’t my first blender, either. That was a $20 model that hadn’t lasted me more than a year before I was trading it in. Upgrading.

And still, I had a wandering eye when it came to blenders.

The problem was those top of the line blenders were just too expensive. Vitamix and Blendtec. $400 for a blender? $600? I mean, mine was okay, but did I really want to spend that kind of money just for something I wouldn’t use every second of every day?

But just look at this, people. Look at it!

How can you look at that and not want it? Not need it with the same urgency you need air, or water, or ice cream?

And then I discovered Blendtec was based in Orem, Utah. My friend bought one. My sister bought one. My own father bought one! It was taunting me. Testing me. But let’s face the facts: there was no way I was going to be able to justify dropping four hundred on something like this. Not without the right sort of groundwork. Because one does not simply make a purchase of that magnitude without telling one’s wife, and my wife is ever watchful and vigilant against a husband who makes rash purchases.

And so I waited. I plotted. I schemed.

Denisa makes smoothies every morning for breakfast, and she’d been using an immersion blender for the trick for the last long while. But that blender was getting tired, and so perhaps I had a shot there. The only problem was that she still needed that blender for other purposes likes soups, which she also makes a lot of. A Blendtec would be too big of a stretch. But it was Christmas shopping season, and I kept my spirits up. Maybe something would happen to make it all possible.

And then it did: an awesome deal. A Grinchy good deal. The $600 version for $200, and it still came with the 7 year warranty? I pulled the trigger faster than an iPhone could disappear in a cloud of blended dust inside one of those smooth machines of mayhem.

Merry Christmas to me!

A month into my life with a Blendtec, what do I think?

Totally worth it. It makes smoothies with ease. Crunches through frozen fruit and ice cubes alike. It’s not a wonder machine–it doesn’t magically transform carrots into smooth pulp free juice or anything–but it totally gets the job done. It’s smaller than my old blender, so it fits under my cabinets, on my counter. Denisa and the kids use it all the time, and I can rest assured in the knowledge that any time I want, I can make an orange juilius or an ice cream shake with a practiced flick of a switch.

It’s a cinch to clean–the jar doesn’t come apart, so there’s nothing to dismantle to clean. You just put in some soapy water and hit blend for 5 seconds. It’s got a huge jar, so it makes plenty of smoothie for everyone in the family without needing to make a second batch. It came with a handy recipe booklet.

I’m a happy camper. Better yet, Denisa really likes it too.

Would I pay $600 for one of them? Not a chance. Though it looks like they actually have refurbished models like I bought going for $280 right now. It’s more expensive than what I paid, but I still think it’s a pretty good deal.

If anyone has any specific questions, I’m happy to answer them. But the basic one (Should I buy one?) is the easiest: I wish I’d done it earlier.

Downton 5.4 Review: The Boredoming

Now granted, I’m sick. I’m also in and out feverish, so it can certainly be argued I’m not “with it” at the moment. But I don’t think I’m so far “out of it” to not be able to realize that nothing is going on in this show at all right now.

Nothing.

Zilch.

Zip.

If you want an example of a TV series that does a whole lot of nothing over 45+ minutes, then look no more. I can’t think of a single plot that was really advanced at all. All we had was a nice retread of all the conflicts we’ve already seen. Allow me to elucidate:

Mary and Gillipants–After much deliberation, Mary finally decides to tell Gillipants exactly where to put those pants. What’s the result? He basically says, “I’m not listening!” Yup. We leave the conflict with nothing whatsoever resolved. They just kind of walk off, with him saying “We’ll get through this somehow.” I’m going to try that line the next time a team I’m rooting for loses. I’ll just sort of shake my head and say “This is something we need to get through together. We haven’t lost. We just need to keep working at this.” Maybe I’ll feel better. (And on a side note, of course Mary just happened to run into Beau #2 when she’s about to dump Beau #1. I’m starting to think this season is basically “There’s Something about Mary,” Downton-style. Think about it. I’m on to something . . .)
Edith–Oh. My. Golly. Talk about a whole lot of nothing. We have shot after shot of Edith looking drippy eyed. We have another confrontation with the mom. Another one with the dad. Snoozeville, people. Also, in a move that surprised no one, her fiance seems to have gotten himself killed by Nazis, which is a pretty impressive feat for someone who’d just gotten to Germany. At this point, the only way I see Edith’s story becoming interesting is for her to steampunk up, grab a flight to Germany, and start kicking some Nazi butt in her quest for her boyfriend, who turns out to have fallen prey to a Nazi experiment, giving him superpowers, but at such a great cost. And he and Mecha-Edith have a big showdown, right before he switches back to the good side and beats all the Nazis and some ninjas and a couple of pirates who had been just sort of hanging out. Also, jazz music.
Schoolmarm–She really deserves her own theme song at this point. “Who’s the most tactless person around? Who will wreck a party without making a sound? Who’s as dogged as a ruddy blood hound? Who deserves to take a trip to the pound? Schoolmarm!” It’s a slight consolation that she wasn’t invited by Rose this time. Nope. Everyone else in the family thought this was a great idea. My guess is that they can’t stand Lord Grantham, and they’re hoping to send him into cardiac arrest in one of the most contrived, boring murder plots ever schemed. I can’t wait for them to figure out a new party to invite her to next week. This is way better than Lucy and that football with Charlie Brown. (Ugh . . .)
Isobel gets a proposal. Wait. What? Is that actual plot movement? Did we actually make progress somewhere? Nope. Because real movement would be Isobel giving an answer. Instead, Lord Hoitytoity just asks her to think about it for several episodes. Writers have trouble with plots, you know. We need to milk this one as long as we can.
Violet and the Russian–Yup, they meet again. Yup, they talk. Nope, nothing of import happens. (Although I will say I did like the contrast the show made between what happened to the Russian elite and the British elite. That was a nice touch, and deftly made. Can’t be all negative, even when I’m sick.)
Shrimpy’s getting a divorce–Because let’s face it: no woman wants to be married to a man named Shrimpy.
Thomas continues to be secretive about something. I continue to not really care.
Daisy’s still taking lessons. Next week, she discovers the cure for cancer, then gives it up to stick to her pies.
The murder investigation continues, as apparently London police have literally nothing else going on than hanging around cold cases in the hopes that something might happen months later. Maybe this is how things were done back then. Maybe they had so many policemen, they just had to come up with random assignments like “Hey–go hang outside this house 24/7 in case a lead shows up.” Because that worked all the time?
Art Critic Guy seems intent on somehow making out with Lady Grantham while Lord Grantham is literally watching. And Lady Grantham is like, “Challenge accepted!” This plot is lame. I was over it two episodes before it began.

Please. Someone defend this episode to me. And don’t give me any tripe about costumes or setting. If you want to watch a still life, go to an art museum and stare at one for a while. I like my television to actually do something. And here I’d been thinking the worst that could happen was more soap opera dramatics.

Sheesh.

Tamiflu is Garbage: My Personal Opinion

Okay. Typing and I still aren’t getting along that well. My fingers keep finding the wrong letters. However, I’m recovered enough to at least protest publicly about how little Tamiflu did for me. I’d read about it ahead of time–Denisa had been sick for days before I came down with the bug, after all. From everything I’d read, Tamiflu could possibly maybe make a difference if you took it within 36-48 hours of showing symptoms of the flu. What difference? It could reduce the total length of the bug 1-2 days, and reduce its severity.

I came down with a tickle in the back of my throat Friday late evening. By Saturday morning, I was coughing and feeling pretty awful. Our doctor phoned in a prescription of Tamiflu for me, and I took it right away–less than 20 hours from when symptoms started. Saturday evening, I was a feverish mess. (How much of a mess? Apparently (according to Denisa, who I don’t think is making it up) I was convinced that I had infected George Bush, that Tamiflu was called “Floost,” and that I was actually part groundhog.

It wasn’t my best evening ever.

I’ve taken the medicine on time and faithfully. Has it helped? That’s the thing. There’s literally no way for me to know. The flu’s supposed to last 7-10 days. So if I’m sick for 8, does that mean Tamiflu did nothing, or does it mean I would have been sick for 9 or 10 days without it. It’s supposed to reduce symptoms of the flu. If I hadn’t been taking it, would I have been having conversations with pink elephants on Saturday evening instead of just thinking I was a groundhog?

Meanwhile, it’s got a whole slew of potential bad side effects . . .

Would I take Tamiflu again? Not likely. I’d only recommend it for people who are at risk otherwise from the flu. People who need every bit of advantage against the bug they can get. Then it makes sense. But for everyone else, I’d save your money and just get some extra chicken noodle soup.

Anyway. I’m slowly working my way back to the land of the living. Yes, it’s snowing quite a bit here in Maine. Grateful for a snow day, and doubtful I’ll be back at work tomorrow yet. If I get tuckered out just writing a short blog post, I can’t imagine I’d be up to 8 hours of work, never mind the people I might still infect.

Except George Bush. If he’s got the flu, I’m pretty sure I didn’t give it to him.

LTUE Schedule: I’m Coming to Utah!

Today I’m actually off to Bangor. But I thought I’d take this opportunity to let you know I’ll be in Utah in February, presenting at Life, the Universe, and Everything (LTUE) in Provo February 12-14. You’ll be able to hear me pontificate on not one, not two, but NINE different panels over the course of those three days, plus come out and play with me in a celebrity Magic: the Gathering draft. (It’s exciting, I know. Try to contain yourselves.) When I’m not on panels, I’ll be the one in the game room, doing my best to play all the games before I have to go back to Maine.

Do I have your interest? Well, here’s where you can see me, and what I’ll be talking about:

Thursday 9am–Self-Promotion through Blogging
Thursday 11am–Revision: Getting Started and Managing the Project
Thursday 2pm–I Equip You, Blue Eyes White Dragon! Collectible Card Games
Thursday 7pm–Magic: The Gathering Celebrity Tournament
Friday 11am–How to Create a Language
Friday 3pm–Queries: When and How
Friday 4pm–Ameritrash vs. Eurogames
Friday 6pm–They Haven’t Read the BOOK?!: Why don’t actors in movie adaptations pull from the source material?
Friday 8pm–Mass Book Signing
Saturday 10am–Young Adult Protagonists
Saturday 3pm–Allomancy vs. Weighing of the Wands – Rigid vs. loose Magic Systems

Let’s face it: if you haven’t had enough of me by the end of that conference, it won’t be for lack of trying. I’ll have copies of Vodnik with me for sale, on the off chance that there won’t be any for sale at the con. (One never knows about these things, is my experience.)

Hope to see you there!

Refueling the Fire

First off, thanks to everyone for the many kind words of support after my announcement yesterday. It was a downer of an evening last night, but today’s a new day, and I’m feeling upbeat. I’ve spoken with both my agents, and we’ll be sending MEMORY THIEF out on submission again soon. It sold before, it can be sold again.

One effect this has had that I hadn’t anticipated was a direct jolt on my writing. I’ll admit it: I’d grown a little loosey goosey with the burning desire to keep churning out the word counts. After I finished NaNoWriMo in stellar fashion, I turned to revising OUR LADY. I’d heard back from Joshua on it, and he had some underlying concerns about the novel that he wanted to be sure were addressed. (The good news? They weren’t book breaking. I’d sent him a second draft this time instead of a third draft. Early enough on in the process that you could have a good idea where it was heading, but not so far along that it would be terribly difficult to make big changes to the work. Think of it like cement. Work too much on it, and it kind of solidifies around you. Sort of.)

Since I knew I’d be getting edits for MEMORY THIEF sometime this month, I wasn’t in too much of a rush to finish the edits on OUR LADY. I was essentially spinning my wheels, making some progress, but not too worried about it. After all, I had a book coming out in Fall 2016, which bought me some time for my other books to be finished and find homes.

That time’s gone now, of course.

I worried when I went to write yesterday that it would be difficult. That I’d have to drag it out of me, because I’d be depressed over the loss of the contract. Instead, I found myself revived. The words felt like they came a lot easier than they had for the past month or so. I think it’s because I’m well and truly motivated again. In March, Vodnik will have come out three years ago, which pretty much guarantees that at this point, I’ll have had at least 5 years between books getting published. (If MEMORY THIEF sold again tomorrow, It wouldn’t get published until Spring 2017, thanks to the way the publishing world works.)

This was never part of the plan. As an unpublished author, you look at getting an agent and a book contract as the end. All that comes after that is the “Happily Ever After.” I have close friends who got to that point–it was really all I’d seen of the publishing world. Get the contract, live the dream.

There’s no “wait five years for the next book to come around” in there anywhere.

It’s times like these that I look back at the intervening years and wonder what’s happened. I think it’s helpful to take a close look at your work and see if there are changes that need to be made. Since I signed on the dotted line for Vodnik, I’ve completed the following writing:

Revised and published VODNIK. (Yay!)
Submitted TARNHELM, a YA noir fantasy that I happen to love. It got a few nibbles, but nothing more than that. Why not? It’s highly stylized and has a narrow audience. Not exactly “breakthrough” material. YA noir isn’t leaping off the shelves, after all–so adding “fantasy” to that genre and narrowing it further doesn’t do wonders.
Finished three drafts of GET CUPID, then eventually gave it up as a lost cause. This accounts for almost a full year of writing, and is probably the biggest reason for why things have taken so long on my end. Live and learn, I suppose. I’ve been trying to learn from the mistakes I made in this book–keep my future ones more focused and on track, for one thing.
Submitted (and sold) THE MEMORY THIEF. As I said yesterday, events taking that sale away are out of my control. Nothing to tweak there.
Finished two drafts of OUR LADY (and am in the middle of a third). It’s going well, I feel like it has a broad audience, and it’s a lot of fun. I’m on track in this area.
Finished the first draft of my NaNo book. My writing group just read the first two chapters, and I read the next few to see where it goes from there. Initial verdict? Very positive. I can’t remember what the rest of it looks like, but the first four chapters are really solid for a first draft. Makes me hopeful.

That’s in four years of writing. a book published, five books written and finished, two of them submission-ready, and one well on its way in that direction. Honestly, I don’t think that’s too shabby for this being my second job. Would I be going faster if I wrote full time? Undoubtedly. But I’m on track for a book a year at this rate, and that’s a fine pace for me for now. Take out the GET CUPID blunder, and things would be dandy.

Can I get derailed? Certainly. If things don’t go well with OUR LADY or the NaNo book, then I’ll be staring at 2 submission worthy books in 5 years as opposed to 4 in 5 years.

More than anything, this has been a reminder to me that the sands of publishing are always shifting. (Aren’t I glad I didn’t decide to just wait around and take a break while I was waiting for the MEMORY THIEF edits to arrive . . .) All you can do as an author is tuck your head down and keep writing.

Time to crack the knuckles and the whip and get those fingers flying again.

Back to the Drawing Board: MEMORY THIEF Canceled

Well, folks. What can I say? The publishing gods giveth, and the publishing gods taketh away. Anytime your agent calls you and the first words out of his mouth are “I’ve got bad news,” you know the conversation isn’t going to end well.

I found out this morning that Egmont, the publisher that was going to print THE MEMORY THIEF is being shuttered by its international parent. Why? Beats me. I knew they were looking to sell the American arm of the company, and they’d been trying to sell it for the last few months. In the end, it appears they decided it wasn’t worth trying to sell it anymore, and they were better off just closing shop. It doesn’t seem like the world’s smartest financial decision to me (Egmont USA has been doing just fine from a finance standpoint, and was bringing in money, but maybe I don’t understand the ins and outs of international business enough to make sense of it.)

First off, my thoughts go out to the fine people who work at Egmont, and for whom this has a much more immediate impact than it does for me. This is their livelihood, and they’re all about to lose their job. Having seen that process happen at my workplace, it’s an awful, terribly upsetting experience–made even worse by how non-sensical this was.

Then, there are other authors whose books with Egmont were much closer to publishing than mine was. That’s got to be a tough blow. Getting close enough to hold the galleys in your hand, see the cover, and really be able to picture the book coming out in less than a year . . . and then to have that snatched away. It’s a real Lucy and the Football sort of feeling. And the authors whose books are coming out this spring from Egmont . . . I have no idea what sort of a situation they find themselves in. How the marketing will be handled. How the future of their books will be dealt with.

And then there’s me. I was beyond pleased Memory Thief had found a home with Egmont. They seemed like a great company, and I was very excited to do business with them. Jordan (my to-be editor) was nice and has a bunch of experience, and I was looking forward to working with her to make the book even better. But it’s not to be.

Where does this leave my book? Back at square one, more or less. Once we get the letter making everything official, we’ll be submitting the book to other editors and hunting for someone who’s ready to bring it into their fold. We’d sent it out to a fair number of editors back when Egmont bought it, and perhaps some of them will be interested now that things with Egmont have fallen apart. Who knows?

I can’t say I’m not depressed about this. It’s a real bummer. But it’s important to view it in context. It’s a bummer for me, but not a life-changing catastrophe. My thoughts are with the others who are losing their jobs in the middle of January. If it’s any consolation, from what I’ve seen in cases like this, the people involved usually end up in better places than they were to begin with. (Though typically things like this happen when things are really bad at the workplace. To have it happen to a place that’s successful . . . Sheesh.)

I’m also not as down about it personally as I thought I would be. This isn’t dominating my day. I think part of that is that in a way, getting that book contract was very validating in and of itself. I realize that the actual selling of the book is out of my hands in many ways. All I can do is focus on writing novels that other people find worthy of buying–editors particularly. The Memory Thief has passed that test. All this other stuff? Out of my control. That doesn’t mean I’m a worse writer, or the book is no good. It just means I’ve had a bit of bad luck at the moment.

And that’s about all I have in me to write at the moment.

Downton Abbey 5.3 Review: Be Careful What You Wish For

Episode three is now in the record books, and I have to say that as much as I’ve been waving the flag for Downton to scale back on the over-the-top drama and shenanigans, after this week, I couldn’t help but wish they hadn’t taken me quite so literally. Think back on this episode. What happened in it? Anything?

Nope.

Each and every plot line just sort of spun its wheels for the episode. The characters didn’t do a whole lot of anything, and after all was said and done, I wondered what in the world the writers thought was happening here. (My answer? It’s the only one that makes sense: this is a set up episode where they had to move pieces into places so that later things work in the season. Really clunky, if that’s the case.)

Mary finally figures out Gilligan is a complete idiot, and he’s not well suited for her at all. Apparently it took a week long sex romp for her to come to this conclusion, which seems to indicate she’s not quite as smart and sharp as I thought she was. I mean, I’m glad she’s done with him mentally and all, but this seems sort of like handing a loaded gun to your significant other at the same time you break up with him or her. “Hi! I don’t love you anymore! Please don’t ruin my life by revealing just how stupid I’ve been for the last week. kthxbai.” Ugh.
Anna being chosen as the “holder of the Thing” seems to indicate some dark days ahead. (Which is frustrating, because I’m just wondering why they didn’t burn it. Does Mary have any other sexcapades planned?) How will it ruin Anna’s life? Wild guess here: the rape comes up, the police search her place for some silly reason, and they find it and accuse her of being a loose woman. Then Mary has to decide whether to let Anna take the fall or to come clean and admit it was hers all along. That’s exactly the sort of lame plot I could see cropping up in early seasons. Please don’t let it happen this time. Please?
Mr. Bates’ murder investigation still feels like one big snooze fest. I don’t care if the first time around was enthralling (it wasn’t), doing it all again just makes me want to yawn. Imagine if at the end of Lord of the Rings, Frodo gets back and is told that a magic bracelet has cropped up, and he needs to go throw it in a different volcano. How ready would we all be for that story? Get a new plot, already.
I know there are some Edith fans out there, and more power to you. Rooting for Edith is sort of like being a Cubs fan. You might think it’s going to get better, but it’s just playing with you. The writers are going to let her be happy the day hell freezes over. And as soon as that happens, they’re going to then do something mean and awful to her to take all that happiness and turn it to dust. Because Edith.
Cora out gallivanting with Mr. Art was actually an interesting storyline for me and Denisa as we were watching. Mr. Art obviously is putting the moves on Cora, and she’d have to be a nincompoop not to notice. (I don’t think she’s a nincompoop.) So her going to dinner and walking around town with the guy wasn’t exactly on the up and up the way she’s trying to play it. At the same time. she didn’t do anything wrong, and her husband’s reaction is way over the top. Then again, we’ve seen how his views are, and so the reaction isn’t surprising. I think both characters are justified to an extent, and that makes for some interesting situations.
The mystery of the stolen jewels turned out to be so not worth the wait. It’s like the writers had a place holder they were using for a while: [INSERT REALLY COOL, INTRIGUING MYSTERY HERE], and then when it came time reveal it, they all went to grab a bite to eat, instead–leaving the intern behind to fill in the hole. Way to go, guys.
Violet and the Prince was a “surprise” that should have surprised no one. Still, it should make for some interesting situations as the season unfolds. Anything to shake Violet up a bit is a good thing at this point. She’s had it too easy for too long, and it’s nice to see her a tad rattled.
But seriously, what in the world is up with Schoolmarm? The woman has no tact in her body at all. Faced with Russian imperialist refugees, she takes all of three minutes to insult them to the point that they want to leave the house. I don’t care if you have strong political views or not, there are times to just keep your trap shut. I admire some spine and courage, but that’s just too much from anyone, schoolmarm or no.

Those were the plots that stood out to me the most. And again, when I look back at them all, there just was too much smoke and not enough fire in this episode. Which leads me to believe they’re going to make some awful decisions in some of the upcoming episodes to make up for it. Which do I prefer? DRAMA, or boring?

Can’t there be a middle ground?