Alan Rudnick's Blog, page 3

Do you know your emerging community?

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This article originally appeared with the Christian Citizen 

When I was a pastor in a small town, there was a great sense of community. There were Memorial Day remembrances, firehouse breakfasts, ham dinners, the Holiday Parade, the annual Day of Prayer, Rotary meetings and community trash pick-up days. Many participated in community events regularly. However, a segment of the community was absent from those events. They were people from the emerging community.

What is an emerging community?...

Stormy Daniels, Donald Trump, and the King David Defense

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The bad jokes about Stormy Daniels and Donald Trump have started: “There’s a storm a-brewin’.” Evangelicals, who voted for Trump at around 80 percent, face their own storm and continue to stand by their candidate despite the recent growing allegations that Trump had an extramarital relationship with the pornographic film star. Trump has largely been silent on the issue despite proclaiming his innocence in the Russian election meddling investigation on Twitter. To add fuel to the fire, Daniel...

Why this Parkland shooting photo is so painful

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Another shooting, another community in grief. I’m not going to repeat the shooter’s name because that what people who do this stuff want. A shooter walked into Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, FL and killed 17 people and injured many others.

Of the many images of the Parkland shooting that emerged, one brought tears to my eyes instantly.

The Associated Press photographer Joel Auerbach took a picture that was truly painful. I saw this picture shared on social media dozens of times on Facebook and Twitter. The photo came up on the news on television. It is being shared over and over.

Why are so many people sharing it?

An adult woman – perhaps a teacher – has a cross on her forehead from an Ash Wednesday service is holding another woman. The incredible grief, shock, and trauma are obvious. In the left background a woman, possibly a mother of a student is looking on in the distance. Her face has a look of worry and concern. In the back right, a man possibly a father of a student, checks his phone for updates. Maybe he is texting his child in the school or reading the latest information.

It’s a painful picture because it was Ash Wednesday. A day we remember our mortality and need for God’s provision. A day we remember that Lent begins a journey with Christ to Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and finally Easter. The Christian message of love, redemption, and hope was hard to embrace in Parkland, FL on February 14, 2018.

It’s painful because 17 people died and many others were injured.

It’s painful because this woman in the foreground with blonde hair and cross on her forehead didn’t expect violence to come on Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday.

It’s painful because the shooter left a digital trail of his intentions to hurt others and become a mass shooter.

It’s painful because Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School did everything professionals advise for security: visitor check-in, single point of entry, locked doors, security guards, lockdown drills, and teacher training for shooters.

It’s painful because the shooter’s home life was difficult and was receiving mental health care.

It’s painful because the shooter, a white male, fits the pattern of mass shooters. White men make up the majority of mass shootings 1984. And yet, white men make up the majority of our of Congress. Our elected leaders have done very little to address reasonable gun control measures.

It’s painful because reasonable gun control measures are supported by 60% of Americans.

It’s painful because President Trump ended gun check measures for those with mental illness.

It’s painful that AR-15 assault rifles have recently become the weapon of choice for mass shooters.

It’s painful because “compassion fatigue” has become the norm on social media and in our personal lives.

It’s painful because “thoughts and prayers” are not enough.

It’s painful because there is a school and community in mourning and grief. We share a part of that grief.

It’s painful because America is emotionally spent with violence.

It’s painful that this problem of violence on a grand scale requires individual, community, intuitional, societal, political, and national change.

Churches, listen to Super Bowl MVP Nick Foles

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As the world now knows, the Philadelphia Eagles and Nick Foles won Super Bowl 52. The improbable start of Nick Foles from backup quarterback to Super Bowl champion is the stuff of Rudy-like movies that make you feel good. Everyone loves a good underdog story. In his victory speech, Foles shared something that every church, pastor, and lay leader should listen to.

Nick Foles’ faith has been well documented. He’s a committed Christian, shares his faith publicly, and even took seminary classes. The Eagles as a team have also been public about their Christian faith. If you have followed Foles’ story, you know that he almost gave up professional football altogether. He attributive his faith in God as motivation for sticking with football.

Churches should note the storied season of the Philadelphia Eagles. Faced with losing their starting quarterback, the Eagles had to readjust their game plan with the challenges of injuries and losses they faced mid-season. Foles stated something that all churches, in a time of decline, challenge, and changing religious environment, need to hear: 

“I think the big thing is don’t be afraid to fail…. In our society today, with Instagram and Twitter, it’s a highlight. It’s all the good things. When you look at it, you have a bad day, you think your life isn’t as good, you’re failing. Failure is a part of life. It’s a part of building character and growing. Without failure, who would you be? I wouldn’t be up here if I hadn’t fallen thousands of times, made mistakes. We all are human. We all have weaknesses. Just being able to share that and be transparent.

“I know when people speak and share they’re weaknesses, I listen. Because I can (relate). I’m not perfect. I’m not Superman. We might be in the NFL and we might have just won the Super Bowl, but we all have daily struggles. That’s where my faith comes in. That’s where my family comes in. I think when you look at a struggle in your life, just know that it’s an opportunity for your character to grow.”

Churches face challenges today that they have never or rarely faced before. Declining attendance, shrinking membership, fewer donations, or shifting attitudes about religion, churches cannot afford to keep doing what they are doing. It doesn’t make sense. Unfortunately, churches are often the last institutions in our culture to make changes.

In all the churches I’ve worked with, advised, and served, the number one thing that churches can’t seem to deal with is the prospect of failure. A new direction, idea, worship element, program, or initiative never gets off the ground because it might fail. Church folk are often in such a deep place of fear that they can’t muster the spiritual capacity to think beyond scarcity.  Foles, in all his wisdom and spiritual depth, expresses the true nature of failure: it teaches, builds, and redirects. Churches often do nothing and die because they don’t want to try something new – it might fail. Failure is often the best teacher in life – up there with success. Churches must adaptively adjust as they stand on their faith to respond to the Spirit’s guiding.

Churches, if you do anything this year, do this: Listen to Super Bowl MVP Nick Foles. The guy who almost hung up his cleats for good. If a backup quarterback from a team that never won a Super Bowl in its existence wasn’t afraid to be open to new experiences, challenges, opportunities, and the possibility of failure – you don’t have to fear failure.

TV interview on Sutherland Springs shooting

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I sat down with WSYR Channel 9 here in Syracuse, NY to give some reflection upon the horrible shooting in Sutherland Springs, TX at the First Baptist Church of Sutherland Springs. It’s not often we pastors and ministers have a chance to speak into national news stories.

I was very thankful that WSYR wanted to seek out a minister to provide some spiritual and pastoral insight. Click below to watch the video interview: 

 

Local Pastor says don’t let “fears govern our faith” in wake of church shooting

DEWITT, N.Y. (WSYR-TV) – As churches in Texas host services this Sunday, in memory of those who lost their lives at a shooting in Texas, so will churches in Central New York. “God is in those moments of tragedy, he is in those moments where we wonder, question where he is, but he’s there to pick up the pieces,” said Pastor Alan Rudnick of DeWitt Community Church.

DEWITT, N.Y. (WSYR-TV) – As churches in Texas host services this Sunday, in memory of those who lost their lives at a shooting in Texas, so will churches in Central New York.

“God is in those moments of tragedy, he is in those moments where we wonder, question where he is, but he’s there to pick up the pieces,” said Pastor Alan Rudnick of DeWitt Community Church.

DeWitt Community Church is 26 hours away from a Sutherland Springs church where Sunday 25 people and an unborn child lost their lives.

“To think that they were doing the same thing that we were doing, they were worshiping God, they were singing, we were singing. The very word sanctuary… READ MORE

 

After shooting, talk about church security

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As the nation is still comprehending how a person could walk into a church and kill over 25 people, The First Baptist Church in Sutherland Springs, Texas is in grief and shock. Another American shooting – the worst in history. In 2015, Dylan Roof walked into a Charleston, SC church and killed nine people. The number of faith-based violence has increased from 22 deaths a year in 1991 to 74 in 2014. As the gun debate heats back up there is another debate stirring in congregations: Do we increase our church security? Do we need to be armed?

At large mega-churches, it is common to have security uniformed and plain clothing teams with radios and training for the worst to happen. Many of these security teams have off-duty police officers.  I’ve even seen high profile pastors have a security detail just like a Hollywood celebrity.

On my Facebook feed on Sunday, my friends and fellow pastors agreed for smarter gun laws but most of the conversation revolved around issues of church security. One pastor commented that they always have their cell phone on them at church in case the worst happens. Another pastor asked, “Do we have to lock our doors once the church service has started on Sunday?” 

Such a question is a reasonable consideration. Pastors feel the duty and responsibility to protect their people.  However, at what point does church security go too far? What if someone’s late to church and the doors are already locked? These are real-life questions that surround the debate on church security.Most churches have updated their child protection policy to include background checks for staff and employees and guidelines to protect children. Now, churches are faced with protecting and overseeing members on church property.

In the Bible, we know that there were Temple guards in the time of Jesus. These guards, who were priests, not only provided watch over the Temple but oversaw administrative duties. The security of the temple was important not only to protect the sanctity of the Temple but also to protect the treasury. In the first century, there were historical clashes between the Jewish people and Roman authorities.

Do our churches need armed guards?

As a pastor, I have witnessed outbursts, medical emergencies, a person who caught on fire, and strange behavior during a worship service. Each time, a plan was followed and the right people responded with the proper action. I pray that I never have to witness a shooting.

Statistically, church shootings are rare, but the emotional impact of such events are calling into question church security.

Churches need to have security plans – not armed guards standing at the door. In most instances, having armed civilians makes the jobs of first responders extremely challenging, confusing and dangerous. Safety does not only involve violence but other emergencies. Security plans involving the protection of children, what to do in case if a fire or other emergency, how ushers and other trained individuals can handle outbursts, what to do in a medical emergency, clearly marked exit doors, and evacuation routes. Over the years companies have sprung up offering church security training and resources to churches.

Churches are vulnerable targets because of the nature of a church’s purpose – a place of care for souls. Church leaders and pastors have to put in reasonable plans for the unthinkable. Check with your denomination, insurance company, or congregational organization because they will have training and information on putting in plans for the worst. Have a serious talk about the overall safety and plans for the unexpected with church leadership. Do not cause panic by stoking fears but communicate to your congregation about reasonable preparation, plans, and what-to-do situations.

The best thing pastors and church leaders can do is begin making a plan and talk to professionals. The professionals will guide you in the safest plans possible.

The Amazonification of Christianity

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Amazon announced a new product and service to their line-up: Amazon Key. Amazon describes their new product as the way to, “get your Amazon packages securely delivered just inside your front door. Plus, grant access to the people you trust, like your family, friends, dog walker, or house cleaner.” This is one of many products that have taken over our lives by Amazon or also known as the Amazonification of retail… and life.

Amazon has started putting large retailers out of business. With their free two-day delivery with Amazon Prime, tablets that push notifications of sales, Echo devices that can order Amazon products, and other devices that can order via their website, Amazon has put their delivery method in the hands and heads of people around the world. Amazon has created a virtual e-commerce ecosystem that we can’t escape. Now, Amazon is testing drones to deliver products faster. Amazon not only sells products but now services of professional cleaning, installation, plumbing and more on their website.

This is a takeover of Amazon’s brand force. It’s the Amazonification of life: a total and complete delivery system of goods, services, and information. Amazon has disrupted the way people get their “stuff”.

Amazon’s virtual staying power taps into something that is happening in every facet of our lives: virtual delivery and engagement of life… including our faith.  Amazon shows us how Christianity has been disrupted by factors and forces of our technological and mobile connected world.

What I love about Amazon (Full disclosure: I’m a Prime Member since 2007) is that I don’t have to leave my house to buy just about anything: clothes, food, socks, medicine, electronics, and even batteries. Amazon is the modern Sears Roebuck catalog. Amazon has everything. Why should I go to a store when I can get it via Amazon?

Much like Amazon, people have now realized: Why do I need a church or congregational Christianity when I can get it elsewhere? It’s what I call the Amazonification of Christianity. The corner church used to be the localized expression of Christianity through community, fellowship, worship, learning, and serving. Now, those things can be had elsewhere. Why should I go to church to get community? I get community from the parents on my kid’s soccer team, at the local bar, on Facebook or social media, on my phone via texting, and at Starbucks. Why should I go to church to learn more about God when I can Google or Wikipedia information about the Bible? Why be connected to a religious cause when I can do a 5K run for a community cause?

This is the new reality of Christianity: people can get what the church used to deliver by other means.

At the same time, people are craving local community but can’t find it at a church. Many local churches aren’t really good at connection and community. New people in the church are immediately put on a committee or board, weighed down by burnout because of a church system that doesn’t, and are seen as a solution to the church’s lack of people resources. That doesn’t inspire people. Churches are called to form meaningful relationships with people in and outside of the church. The purpose of these relationships should be to connect others to one another and to Christ. Churches are called to make Christ visible through worship and serving others without the expectation that those outside the church will join the membership.

The key for Christianity is to see that the church building is not the means of delivery of spirituality and religious faith. Christianity needs to see that the delivery of our faith is through the people. Jesus never said, “Come with me to temple.” Jesus said, “Follow me.” Christ built his Church upon relationships and not buildings.

Christianity and our faith must be about delivering real relationships and creating space for relationships with a culture that desires real connection in the midst of our overly connected virtual Amazonification world.

How to talk to kids about Las Vegas shooting

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As I awoke Monday listening to the radio I was shocked, dismayed, and saddened to learn of the horrible shooting that occurred in Las Vegas. I immediately thought about my children: Will they come home talking about it? Will they hear about Las Vegas on the bus? Will their teachers talk about it?

As a parent with children who are growing older, I realize that I cannot shield them from such acts of hate and violence. It seems these events occur with greater frequency.

Many are looking to social media to express condolences, give a prayer, or to share their grief.  Such expressions are needed as we learn that almost 60 people are dead and over 500 people were injured in Las Vegas.  I was relieved to learn a friend was safe after attending the music festival where the shooting occurred because of information on Facebook. As we Americans experience the 24-hour news cycle of this deadly event, our children will hear about Las Vegas. Kids will talk about it in school and talk about what they saw on television: hundreds of helpless people shot at by a gunman.

Adults are able to respond in healthy ways, but what about children? How are we to talk to children about traumatic events? How are we to talk about violence? Here are four ways you can respond and talk to your children.

Keep Calm. Younger children may not hear much or anything about the trauma but keep to your family routine. Kids will look to adults and parents on how to act. If you act different children will see it. Older children might have seen the trauma on television and they will observe if their parents are freaking out about it. If possible, turn off the television and keep children focused on regular activities: games, bike riding, homework, sports, music etc… Your ability to keep calm will help your children.

Listen. Children may have questions. Leave time to listen to their concerns. Children may ask, “Will this happen to me?” Or, “Will this happen again?”. The important thing to remember is to give children your attention and not to avoid the subject.

Respond. Do not lie to children about what happened. Keep it simple. Focus on the basic facts of what happened. In Las Vegas, for instance, say that someone hurt a group of people during an event. Continue to share with children how much they are loved and how they are safe. Tell them good leaders take care of people when people are hurt (doctors, police, firefighters, etc…). Remind children that we take care of one another. For older teenagers, talk to them about violence and how it impacts our culture and world. Older youth study history lessons with war in school and may even play violent video games. Help them to see violence as a harmful and wrong way to handle conflict.

Empower. Older children can learn from the trauma. Remind and tell the stories of heroism. Encourage your kids to help others. For instance, if someone is being bullied at lunch teach them what to do or tell them how to get help from an adult. Teach them how to call 911 when needed. When some time has passed from the trauma, have your family practice what to do when someone needs help.

All of these suggestions cannot be accomplished in one day. It’s important that these steps may take days and even weeks. How to talk to kids about violence trauma is extremely important. Adults should not avoid the topic but reinforce how much children are loved and that they are safe. Evil is in the world but we are called to vanquish evil with the light of God and the goodness we can bring to those in need.

When to contact your minister

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“You didn’t visit Susan* in the hospital. You’re not doing your job. You’re not being a good pastor.”

Those words hung in the air for a few moments before I explained on the phone that Susan nor her family told me that she was in the hospital. It didn’t matter. The caller didn’t care. In the caller’s mind, I was responsible for information that I didn’t know about. It was very painful to be accused of not doing my “job”.

I’ve thought about that conversation many times in the years that have passed.   So, I worked more hours and harder at being omnipresent. It didn’t work. A prior church, a prior ministry. The complaint of not visiting someone was almost always attributed to not telling the minister something was up. No matter how many times I talked with church leadership or any person in the pew, there were some people who think their minister can read minds, know the gossip on the street, or is omnipresent. I was burning out and still getting nasty comments.

As I explained my book, The Work of the Associate Pastor, people can easily triangulate others into church situations that can be solved between two people. Often, there isn’t a problem but people create problems. There will always be some in the church that feels empowered by crossing boundaries and telling people what they should be doing. Years have passed since I served that church, but I realized that there will always be antagonists in the church who attack without substantive information. I’ve embraced the reality that it is impossible to be omnipresent and to emotionally let go of those people who believe a minister should be omnipresent.  Ministers should obviously be accessible, within reason. I wish years ago I created a list of situations of when you should call, email, or communicate with your pastor. Here’s a list I’ve been working on:

You are facing a major health challenge or going to be hospitalized.
You want to learn more about the church or want to join.
You want to marry someone, divorce, or want to separate from your spouse.
You have questions or struggle with your faith.
You have concerns about the church.
You need prayer.
You need direction on a major life decision.
You want to give a gift to the church.
You have challenges with life, marriage, relationships, family, children, parents, pregnancy, or your job.
You have a burning passion for a ministry in the church.
You want to help in the church but don’t know how.
You just heard some troubling news.
You want to get to know the minister better.
You are upset with the minister.
You have a compliment.

We ministers may not be able to solve every problem in life, but chances are we can help with resources, ideas, or prayer. We pastors want to help and care, but we need to know. If you expect your minister to know something important, please reach out and make the call.

Did I miss something on the list? Let me know in the comment section.

*Not the person’s real name.

Breastfeeding in church, a sin?

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A breastfeeding mom in Virginia was told to leave her church’s sanctuary and go into a private room because “the church does not allow breastfeeding without a cover because it could make men, teenagers or new churchgoers uncomfortable.”

The Washington Post reported that Annie Peguero, mother of two, whose husband is on deployment, “posted her own livestream video on Facebook — with her baby, Autumn, at her breast — telling viewers what happened and urging women to stand up for breast-feeding.” Despite that Virginia law allows for mothers to breastfeed anywhere, the church clearly did not know about the mother’s rights. This isn’t the first time a mother breastfeeding became a national news story. A church in Dallas, TX in 2014 became the center of a social media debate about breastfeeding in church.

Currently, an individual can go into a church packing a gun in Virginia, but for some, a mother packing a nursing boob for a baby is just too much.

It’s pretty disturbing that a church would ask a mother to leave the sanctuary because she is doing something that comes naturally to mothers. As a husband, father, and pastor, I support mothers, fathers, and children in worship – including breastfeeding mothers. Making worship a hospitable environment for families is a huge challenge, but one that churches must work extremely hard at addressing. Our society has torn families apart with over-scheduling, sports on weekends, increased demands of work, and customization of age-based activities. Families don’t worship together like they did 20-30-40 years ago.

Scripturally, breastfeeding, nursing mothers, and nursing children actually play a positive role in the religious life of God’s people. We read in Joel 2:16, “Gather the people. Sanctify the congregation; assemble the aged; gather the children, even infants at the breast.” Someone once proclaimed publicly to Jesus:  “A woman in the crowd raised her voice and said to him, “Blessed is the womb that bore you and the breasts that nursed you!” (Luke 11:27)

Frankly, I feel uneasy writing or talking about breastfeeding because, well, I’m male. Usually, men don’t go around talking about breastfeeding – or even use the word on a daily basis.  However, it is necessary that us men, dads, husbands, brothers, and friends support the important role mothers play in the lives of children. My experience as a dad around other families has revealed that moms don’t go around showing their chests to the world when breastfeeding. Nursing moms are discreet. I’ve never felt uncomfortable around nursing mothers. They are doing what is natural.

It’s important to see that by restricting breastfeeding in public we sexualize women’s bodies as something sinful or wrong. God created us to provide certain needs for children. For some women, that means breastfeeding.  Our culture is so supercharged with sex. Sexual messages are in our advertising on TV, print, and social media. When people prohibit nursing mothers to do what is natural for their child, they turn the act of breastfeeding into something that it’s not.

Churches, resist the urge to stigmatize women, mothers, and children by forcing them to the hidden places of the church. Respect the needs of moms and children. Provide safe places, large and small, for nursing mothers.