Victoria Zigler's Blog: Zigler News, page 84

#Vegan And #Vegetarian #Jokes

Can I tell you a vegan joke? I promise it won’t be cheesy.

***~~~***

Q: What do you call it when one chickpea murders another?
A: A hummus-cide.

***~~~***

Q: Why did the tofu cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn’t chicken.

***~~~***

Q: Why did the tomato blush?
A: Because he saw the salad dressing.

***~~~***

Q: What did the lettuce say to the celery?
A: Are you stalking me?

***~~~***

Q: What does a vegetarian zombie eat?
A: GgggrrrRRAAIIiinnnNNnnSss!

#WriterWednesday - #Quotes About #Writing - October 2018 #WednesdayWisdom

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.
~Maya Angelou

There is something delicious about writing the first words of a story. You never quite know where they'll take you.
~Beatrix Potter

Being a writer is a very peculiar sort of a job: it's always you versus a blank sheet of paper (or a blank screen) and quite often the blank piece of paper wins.
~Neil Gaiman

Never, ever use repetitive redundancies. Don't use no double negatives. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
~William Safire

First, find out what your hero wants, then just follow him!
~Ray Bradbury

You can make anything by writing.
~C.S. Lewis

No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader.
~Robert Frost

Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.
~Anton Chekhov

A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the other one.
~Baltasar Gracián

Of Fluffy Socks, Pinkness, And Other Random things

We've had lots of fluffy socks weather lately.

For those who are new here: I hate having things on my feet at home. I own slippers, and a selection of fluffy and wooly socks. But I only wear them when it's really cold, because my feet like to be free. So, if I'm saying it's fluffy socks weather, that means it's cold enough that I need to wear socks indoors. If it gets cold enough, I'll put my slippers on too.

Anyway, I've not been keeping proper track of temperatures, but it's been quite cold most days. We've had some days where it warmed up by the afternoon, but it's been frosty most mornings, and I'm told it was foggy a couple of mornings too. No storms in this past week or so though, which is both good and bad. Good because it means no storms have been doing damage in our area, but bad because I haven't had any storms to listen to. That's not to say that we haven't had any rain or wind, because we have. Just not enough that you could really call it a storm. Although, it certainly tried to become one on the weekend.

Anyhow, my friend, Lorna, came for a visit at the start of last week, and said I look, "More normal... More human... More sort of pink." I took it as a compliment, even though it had me imagining that I'd looked like some kind of weird alien creature before. I know what she was trying to say is that I have more colour in me now my anemia is under control. I'm not usually a big fan of pink things, but even I have to agree that this is one time that pink is good. YAY for pinkness!

I've been feeling a lot better. No dizziness, which is nice. I still tire easily though, and am still working on regaining muscle strength from all the time I wasn't doing much because of the dizziness. That's going to take a while to fix.

It's a shame my weight loss attempts aren't going so well.

I got weighed again when I went for this month's shot this past Friday, and it turns out I've done that annoying thing where you were doing so well, and suddenly you put a load of weight back on. I don't understand why, because I certainly ate better and exercised more than I had the previous month, and yet I lost weight then. I'm going to look at where I can make more tweaks to things, and see if I can get at least some of it back off in these next few weeks. Hopefully I'll be able to get it back off before my surgery date rolls around. Since there's still no sign of that, I've got a good chance. Of course, now it means I'm torn between hoping they take their time with my surgery date so I can get the weight back off, and hoping they hurry up with it so I can have it done and out of the way.

They tried to make me have a flu jab, but I never have that. Some people get sicker when they have it, and I'm one of those people. I get sick either way, but it seems to be worse on years when I let them do the flu jab, so I stopped bothering. Kelly doesn't have his either, since he's another person that happens to. If they make it that we have no choice, we'll submit to it. But while it's optional, we don't see the point.

I'll be going to see the nurse on November 2nd at 12:10pm to have my next hormone blocker shot though. I was a bit worried I'd have trouble scheduling it, because the gynecologist letter that requested I have the shots in the first place only mentioned me having three or four of them (the plan being that I'd be in for surgery before more would be needed, though that looks like it's unlikely to happen, unless I'm getting a short notice call to come in between now and the date of the next shot). But I booked it no problem. Although, I did have to call yesterday (Monday) to do so, since I forgot to book it when I was there on Friday having this month's shot. I'll have to send Kelly to sort my prescription for this month too, since I also forgot to ask for that, and they prefer you to do that either in person, or by talking to a nurse or doctor. I didn't want to ask to speak to a doctor just to do that, especially when Kelly's got to go to town this week anyhow, and I have enough pills that I won't run out in the meantime, and have a spare set of inhalers if the ones I'm using run out. I usually sort the repeat prescription when I'm there for my shot, but didn't this time. I blame the fact the nurse I usually see wasn't there. Well, that and the fact we were discussing my weight, and just plain forgot.

Other than that, attempts to catch up on sleep, and random routine daily stuff like housework and walks - none of which have been eventful enough to talk about - I've just spent this past week or so slowly working on catching up with watching the episodes of my NCIS DVDs that I keep not getting to for various reasons, as wel as attempting to catch up on episodes of Critical Role. I've also been watching the Ghost In The Shell TV series with Kelly, since I hadn't seen it, and he loves it enough to watch it again and again. Like with the movie, I'm enjoying the Ghost In The Shell TV series, but not as much as Kelly enjoys it. Probably because he's more of an anime fan than I am. I'd give it four out of five stars though.

#Music Monday: Relaxing Pan Flute Music - Calming Sea

We're now in October, and pretty soon the chaos of the holidays will be upon us, no matter how hard we try to prepare for it all, and insist we'll be more organized this year. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas... Or whatever else you celebrate over the next few months... It doesn't matter. Even those of us who keep things simple feel some of the stress.

So, before we have to deal with all that, let's take a few minutes to listen to something relaxing, shall we?

Panpipes and nature sounds are perfect soundtracks to relaxation and meditation, so here's one I enjoyed listening to and thought I'd share. Sit back, relax, and enjoy a few minutes of soothing sounds.

Tori's September 2018 #Book #Reviews - #AmReading

It's time to take a look at what I read in September.

But first, here's a post about why good books deserve more good reviews.

Anyway...

As with the previous posts like this one, if you want to know more about the book, or the author, click on whichever it is you want to learn more about, and it will take you to the appropriate page on Goodreads. Clicking on my rating should take you to my actual Goodreads review for the book in question.

Don't forget: the format I've reviewed may not be the format I read. Also, please remember that I read across multiple genres and age ranges, so you should always check if a book is suitable for the intended reader, especially when children are involved. Sometimes reading the book's description on its Goodreads page will be enough for this, but other times you may need to check elsewhere to figure out the genre and/or recommended reading level.

OK... On to the reviews!

The Writer's Pen and Other Poems by K. Morris
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Having read previous poetry collections by the author, I was eager to read this one. I was not disappointed. This is a great collection of thought-provoking poems. “Indefinable” is a particular favourite of mine from this collection.
*NOTE: I was given a free advanced copy of this book by the author. This has in no way influenced either my opinion of this book, or the contents of my review.

Samantha by K. Morris
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
A powerful and well-written story.

Missing in London by Rita Lee Chapman
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
This book was an enjoyable read. The plot was captivating enough to grab my attention and hold it well throughout, and the characters were well-rounded and believable. I did sort of feel like Anna forced her way in to this mystery though, so it didn't feel quite as natural for her to be involved in seeking answers as in the first two books, and part of me was agreeing with her husband's comments about how she should let it drop, even as the rest of me wanted her to keep seeking answers so I could find out what happened too. Still, that was my only real issue with the book.

Abby & Holly, School Dance by Janice Spina
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
This book was a fun and entertaining read, with a great cast of characters, an interesting plot that moves at a nice pace, and a fantastic message to teach.

Gray: Part I by Lou Cadle
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
This is a realistic story with a believable plot. Also, the main character and how she manages to survive are as realistic and believable as the plot. I'm enjoying this story so far, and curious as to what the "event" was.

Gray: Part II by Lou Cadle
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
I'm enjoying this series for the most part. However, though there were parts of this book I really liked, there were also parts I struggled with. Nothing to do with the writing style or anything. I just found certain parts hard to read, especially with being such a big animal lover.

Gray: Part III by Lou Cadle
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
I had trouble picking a rating for this book. I found it to be well-written, and I liked it better than part two, but not as much as part one. I also found some parts of it hard to read. There were parts of the story I loved. But there were also parts I had issues with. Plus, I still have some questions. Why was almost everyone who survived crazy, apart from the two main characters? Also, did Coral's family survive? It would have been nice to find out what happened in the community after they left it, and get some hint as to the potential chances of the survival of the human race as a whole too.

Into the Woods: Tales from the Hollows and Beyond by Kim Harrison
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
This is a great collection of stories, which makes for an enjoyable companion to the main series. I loved "Two Ghosts For Sister Rachel" and "Million Dollar Baby" especially.

My rating: 4 of 5 stars
As with almost every book of this sort, I enjoyed some of these tales more than others. However, they were a great collection of well-written stories, containing a variety of well-rounded and interesting characters, and I found something to like in every one of them. Lily's story in particular was a favourite of mine, since I thought it was really sweet. As I said though, there was something to like about every story in this collection.

Leela The Chinchilla: An adventure story of how to make your dream come true by David Emil
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
This was a really sweet read. However, there were a few things wrong with it. For one thing, the family Leela belonged to didn't seem as bothered as they should have been about her being gone; I know this was Leela's story, but a real show of emotion would have been nice. For another thing, Leela's character description and how she actually behaved didn't match; Leela was described as being fearful and never having tried to escape before, and yet she's suddenly now boldly exploring the world... It doesn't fit; she should at least be showing obvious signs of fear while exploring the world. Chinchillas are cautious creatures, and I can tell you for a fact even the bravest of my own chinchillas would never be that bold. A few other points: a cage big enough to be considered spacious for a chinchilla wouldn't be easy enough to transport that it could go in the back of a car like that. Leaving a chinchilla overnight in a carbboard box is just asking for trouble, since they'll likely have chewed their way out of it long before morning. Also, you'd think any animal would know for his or herself that it's supposed to be nocturnal, even if they've not met any other animals of the same species since soon after their birth. I get that this is a fictional story, but some accuracy in facts would have made it easier to enjoy and believe it could happen.

True Confessions of Adrian Albert Mole by Sue Townsend
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
The part of this book where we actually got to hear from Adrian was pretty good, though it felt more like a collection of random letters that were gathered together than the diary format I'd enjoyed from the previous two books. The part from the author was vaguely interesting, but I'm unsure why it was added. The part from Margret was boring, more immature than Adrian Mole's first diary, and didn't seem like it even belonged in this book.

Thief by Barbara G.Tarn
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Hariel is a great character, who brings new meaning to the phrase, "A lovable rogue." I enjoyed getting to know him, and reading his story.

Angelica, Scholar by Barbara G. Tarn
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
This book had an interesting main character, who is your typical writer, living in a world that isn't quite as typical as it seems. It also has a fascinating plot. Plus, getting to see some idea of the author's original early pieces of writing was a fun addition to the book.

Otherside by Barbara G. Tarn
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Having not read much steampunk, I can't say how well this does for a steampunk novel. I enjoyed the fantasy and romance elements of it though, and thought it had a great cast of characters.

Record of Blood by Sabrina Flynn
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
A fascinating and well-written mystery, with a wonderful cast of characters. I enjoyed getting to know more about the main characters' pasts, while at the same time attempting to solve the case they were on. The attention to historical detail was excellent too. The only thing I disliked about the book was the "to be continued" cliffhanger style ending... I always hate when authors do that.

#FurkidFriday: Joshua The #Degu With A Reminder To Keep Your #Pets Warm This #Winter

Hi everyone. This is Joshua the degu again.

Although some days it's still been warm, it's starting to get colder here, especially at night. Since that's the case, it means Winter is coming. With that in mind, I wanted to give you a little reminder about keeping your non-human family members safe and warm this Winter. You may not need the reminder, but I'm going to give you it anyway.

We may have fur or feathers, but we still feel the cold. Some of us more than others. Because of this, we can get sick, or worse, if we get too cold. You don't want that to happen, do you? I thought not!

So, here's what you can do to try and stop it from happening: keep us warm.

Yes. It really is that simple.

The temperatures most comfortable for us will be different depending on species. Sometimes there may even be some extra things you need to do to help keep us warm, especially if you have non-human family members who prefer different temperatures. But keeping us warm is all it really comes down to.

My human caretakers, for example, have a small electric heater they use to give me a bit of extra heat on really cold days. This allows them to warm up the area near my cage a little more than the rest of the room, keeping me warm, while at the same time making sure my chinchilla sisters, Mollie and Maizie, who live on the other side of the room, don't get too hot.

Even Mollie and Maizie need a certain amount of heat though. All living things do in order to survive.

If you aren't sure what's best for your furry or feathered family member, ask your vet. They'll know. If they don't, maybe you should get a new vet. Just saying.

Squeak soon,
Joshua

A #Poem For #NationalPoetryDay: Autumn's Here

Autumn’s Here

There’s a crispness to the morning air,
Which, yesterday, was not there.
And so, I think it’s only fair
To say that Autumn’s here.

Fallen leaves coat the ground;
Signs of change can easily be found.
You simply have to look around,
To see that Autumn’s here.


© 2018 ~ Victoria "Tori" Zigler

Today is National Poetry Day, and this year's theme is Change. So, in honor of the day and theme, I thought I'd share a poem I wrote recently about the changing of the seasons from Summer to Autumn.

#WriterWednesday - October 3rd 2018

I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die.
~Isaac Asimov

I'm amazed at the number of people who submitted auditions for "Where's Noodles?" on ACX during the week it was open for auditions. I've never had more than five or six auditions on a book before, and that's maximum. This time I got about three times that many! Most of them had some nice comments about how much they liked the story too, which made me very happy. It made me feel good to have one of my books get so much attention. I hope it's as popular after production, and sells well. I'm sure the narrator I chose hopes for the same thing. Speaking of which, the narrator for the audio version of "Where's Noodles?" is Judith Bareham, in case you're interested.

Speaking of my audio books: there have been several production delays of one kind or another with some of my other books, hence there not being any more new audiobook release announcements over the past few weeks. Hopefully the issues will be resolved soon. Though I'm sad about how things have gone with one title, as I explain in my post from yesterday. Luckily, I'm not one of those people who gets annoyed about granting deadline extensions.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
~Douglas Adams

In other news: "Vinnie The Vegetarian Zombie" was featured as part of fellow author Teri Polen's BadMoon Rising event on her blog yesterday, along with an interview by me. You can check out my post here, if you're interested. It's part of a month long Halloween event, so don't forget to check back throughout the month to see what other authors and books will be featured, since Teri will be featuring books by a lot of great authors throughout the month of October.

OK, let's see what links I have for you this week, shall we?

First, whether you're exercising your body, or exercising your mind, here's how to get a six-pack. Or, at least, how to be well on your way to one.

On a sort of related topic: check out these unproductive daily writing habits (and what to do instead).

Also, here's how to break through a fiction writing block, in case you need some help with that right now.

Remember: things will never 'settle down' completely, so stop waiting for that to happen. Yeah, I know... This one is some advice I could do with taking. *tries to ignore the accusing looks coming from the still unfinished first draft of a certain adventure story*

Ahem... Moving on...

Next, take a look at these simple ways to take your writing to the next level.

Oh, and if you're looking for ways to increase the tension in your story, why not consider using the new kind of tension our society offers. As the post explains: things like that aren't good news for the people they happen to, but thinking up those kinds of situations to put in your fictional stories would be great for the stories in question. Just be careful using real life examples.

By the way, do you have a crazy character or two in your story? Is there more to the crazy characters than first appears to be the case? If not, there should be. The post I just linked to explains, and gives some tips on writing crazy characters.

No matter the kinds of characters your story contains, here's some advice on how to write in deep POV, and one on using time as a literary device.

Next, here's a post on moving from CreateSpace to KDP, in case you want to know how things will work as regards your royalties during the CreateSpace and KDP merger, or just want to see another author's experiences with dealing with the move.

If you plan to self-publish, here's how to self-publish fiction successfully. Also, always remember: be the grain you were meant to be, and don't feed the trolls!

Regardless of your method of publication though, here's a pretty good, and potentially useful, marketing checklist for before, during, and after publication.

No matter how things go when it comes to either writing, publishing, or marketing, always remember: you are not your failures, and you should write what you want to write. So, what do you want to write, but haven't yet?

Finally, if you write poetry, and want to do something fun for Halloween, why not write a Halloween themed poem and submit it in Aurora Jean Alexander's 4th Halloween Poem Contest? You can meet the judges for the contest, and learn what the prizes are, by reading this post.

Why I'm Sad About A Recent Change In Narrator For One Of My Books

From the start, I've been pretty flexible with my audio book production deadlines. Most of the books have been produced in the times specified in the contracts, but there have been delays in production of some, and I've been pretty good about granting extensions when needed. Partially because I'm not really certain how long it takes to produce an audio book, so wanted to give the narrators plenty of time. Partially because I do royalty share contracts, and know some narrators do those between pay for production projects, other full time jobs, etc. Partially because I know how it is when unforseen circumstances mess up your plans. But also partially because I don't mind, as long as I can see some progress. Sometimes though, you have to say, "Enough," - as I had to do a few months back with one of my narrators.

Unfortunately, I've now found myself having to dissolve another contract.

This time though, it's not because the narrator decided the original terms of the contract didn't work. This time it was because, after several months of failed attempts to contact him, a lot of time spent in trying to determine what happened to him after he disappeared at the start of the year, and even attempts by ACX themselves to contact him, we have discovered that the narrator in question is almost certainly a victim of one of the natural disasters that have taken so many lives over the past year.

It makes me sad. I mean, I was sad about the victims of the disasters to start with. But I'm also sad that you won't get to hear more of the talents of James Watkins. He did a fantastic job of producing my four degu books, and was a real pleasure to work with. I'd looked forward to working with him again, and I'm sad that he won't be able to narrate and produce "Yua And The Great Wizard Hunt" as planned.

I loved James as the voices of my degus in my Degu Days Duo, as well as in both "Degu's Day Out" and "How To Trust Your Human" - all of which were produced in audio in late 2017 - and had looked forward to hearing him bring Yua the Westie's story to life. It makes me sad that this will now not happen.

But, as harsh as it sounds, the world keeps turning, and audio production must go on. So, despite my sorrow at the loss of James, and disappointment that I won't be hearing him bring my book to life after all, I will be looking for a new narrator for "Yua And The Great Wizard Hunt" soon.

First though, I just wanted to say, "Rest in peace, James."

#MusicMonday: Dolly Parton - Applejack

This one is my absolute favourite Dolly Parton song. In fact, "Applejack" is one of those songs I can do a reasonable job of singing, even without music. It's also an appropriate song for this time of year.