Bathroom Readers' Institute's Blog, page 55

The Sky is Dark, But Everything’s Fine! Solar Eclipse Facts

A total solar eclipse, already titled the Great American Eclipse, will be visible in the sky on August 21, 2017. Or rather, nothing else will be visible because it’s going to block out the sun.

There are actually different categories of solar eclipses. For example, a partial solar eclipse happens when a portion of the sun is blocked by the moon, and an annual eclipse is what it’s called when the moon centers itself in front of the sun, leaving the edges visible. The quite rare solar eclipse happens when the moon passes in front of the sun, completely covering it up.
But really, it’s just a trick of perception for those on Earth. The sun is 864,000 miles in diameter, and the moon is 2,160 miles in diameter—or about 1/400th the size of the sun. But since the moon is 400 times closer to the Earth than the sun, the moon “blocks” the sun when orbital paths cross just so.
A total eclipse occurs about every 18 months, somewhere on Earth. This one is just big because it’s here, and visible in so much of the country at once.
This marks the first time in nearly a century—99 years, actually—that a solar eclipse will be at its strongest in the contiguous United States.
Astronomers say that a 70-mile-wide band that spreads from sea to shining sea will provide the most ideal eclipse conditions. More than seven million “eclipse tourists” are expected to pack into that zone, which stretches from Oregon to South Carolina.
Grand Teton National Park is in the eclipse band. Management has rented 200 extra portable toilets to meet demand, which it believes will be the busiest day in park history.
Total length of time that the moon will come between the Earth and the sun, thereby blocking out the sun’s light because of the weird angle: just two minutes.

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Weird Questions Asked by People on Vacation

Real questions asked by people on vacation. (This article first appeared in Uncle John’s Old Faithful Bathroom Reader .)

…in Everglades National Park:

“Are the alligators real?”

“Are the baby alligators for sale?”

“What time does the two o’clock bus leave?”

…at the Grand Canyon:

“Was this man-made?”

“Do you light it up at night?”

“So is that Canada over there?”

…in Denali National Park:

“What time to you feed the bears?”

“What’s so wonderful about Wonder Lake?”

“Can you show me where the Yeti lives?”

“How often do you mow the tundra?”

…in Mesa Verde National Park:

“Did people build this, or did Indians?”

“Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?”

…in Yellowstone National Park:

“Does Old Faithful erupt at night?”

“How do you turn it on?”

“When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep?”

…at Carlsbad Caverns:

“How much of the cave is underground?”

…in Yosemite National Park:

“Where are the cages for the animals?”

“What happened to the other half of Half Dome?”

“Can I get a picture taken with the carving of President Clinton?”

…in Glacier National Park:

“When do the deer become elk?”

“When do the glaciers go by?”

…in Sutter’s Fort State Historic Park, Sacramento

“We cook over the fire here.” “Don’t your pans melt?”

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Weird Beauty Treatments

Beauty is in the eye of the person with the weirdest beauty treatment. (This article was first published in Uncle John’s Triumphant 20th Anniversary Bathroom Reader .)

Egg on Your Foot

The Spa-Newbery in Boston offers foot massages with a concoction that includes…caviar. The spa’s owner, Selena Belise, says the fish-roe lotion is “similar to the skin’s own chemistry, so it binds the skin and brings nutrients.” The treatment costs $100. (Sounds fishy, though.)

Non-Lifts 

Platinum Skin Care & Medi Spa of Chesterfield, Michigan, offers “Non-Surgical Face Lifts.” How do they do it? The technician massages your face while wearing “electric gloves,” giving it a “low-frequency treatment to re-educate the muscles.” Cost of the re-education? About $100.

Can You Feed Me Now? 

Here’s a new alternative to dieting: weight-loss ear staples—tiny pieces of metal that are stapled into your ear cartilage, near the traditional “stomach” acupuncture point. A good stapling purportedly causes a decrease in appetite. It’s become so prevalent that several states around the U.S. have begun to regulate the practice, citing the fact that many people have developed dangerous infections after the procedure. Cost: $50 to $125.

Face to Face 

Getting ready for bikini season? Well, don’t forget the latest skincare craze: a butt facial. Just like a face facial, exfoliants are applied to “detoxify” your skin, but it’s not done to your face—it’s done to your butt. (That’s probably why it’s called a butt facial.) Cost: around $75.

Just Stand Under the Birdcage 

Nightingales are famous for their beautiful songs, and, according to Diamond Hawaii Resort & Spa in Maui, their poop makes your face softer. They say that Japanese geisha and Kabuki actors have used it for centuries to remove their makeup and refresh their skin. Cost: It’s a secret, but judging by the prices of their other products—a lot.

Escar-Gross 

Do you have acne, sun spots, freckles, or wrinkles? Get some Elicina cream. It’s made from 80% snail extract. How was it discovered? “Snail handlers noticed how quickly minor cuts healed without infections or scars, as well as the unusual softness of their hands.” Somehow they get the “extract” without hurting the snails. Cost: $25 a jar. (They make snail-extract aftershave, too.)

Highbrow 

What’s the latest craze in Singapore? “Eyebrow embroidery.” Many women are getting all their eyebrow hairs plucked, then having the appearance of eyebrows reapplied with tattoos. It’s become a huge industry in Singapore, generating more than $3 million a year.

Farm Fresh! 

Hari’s Salon in Cheshire, England, offers 45- minute bull-sperm hair treatments. “We chose to use bull semen in our latest ‘Aberdeen Organic Hair’ treatment,” a spokesman said, “after we discovered the rich proteins it contains gives a shine to the hair that other treatments could not.” Cost: about $110.

Mmmm, Spa 

At the Chodovar Family Brewery in the Czech Republic, you can take a beauty bath in beer. According to the Chodovars, “beer yeast provides the skin with a wide range of vitamins, proteins, and saccharides—and contributes to overall softening and regeneration of the cuticle.” They also offer beer massages, beer wraps, and beer cosmetics. And you can have a beer while you’re having a bath…in beer. Cost: Who cares?

Taj Mah-ud 

In May 2007, officials in India announced that they had endorsed a mud pack beauty treatment…for the Taj Mahal. The 359-year-old white-marble masterpiece has been turning yellow because of pollution. Officials say attempts to clean the structure with modern chemicals could harm it, so they’ve agreed to treat it with non-corrosive clay packs. The process, which will use mud similar to those used in face (and butt) treatments, will take between two and three months.

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The King is Dead (Long Live the King)

August 16 marks the 40th anniversary of Elvis Presley, the King of Rock n’ Roll. He’s one of the most famous and written about people of all time, so we hope you didn’t already know these facts about him. (And for reading it…thank ya very much.)

Black Velvet

Elvis was naturally blond, and used a variety of substances to give himself that signature jet-black hair. Eventually he settled on commercial hair dye, specifically Miss Clairol 51 D, or “Black Velvet.”

ROTC

While it was something of a surprise when Elvis put his white-hot career on hold in 1958 to honor his draft notice and serve his time in the Army, this wasn’t his first time to be involved with the military. Elvis was a standout member of his high school’s ROTC unit, which he joined his sophomore year.

Favorite Foods

Elvis famously had a very large appetite. His favorite foods were biscuits and gravy, potato cheese soup, meat loaf, and peanut butter, bacon, banana, and honey sandwiches. But there was one food Elvis hated: fish. He loathed it so much that he wouldn’t allow his wife, Priscilla, to eat it at home.

Elvis Meets Nixon

The famous photo of Elvis meeting President Richard Nixon in the Oval Office is the most requested document of any kind from the National Archives. The 1970 meeting—in which Nixon made Elvis an honorary federal drug agent—was kept secret for a year until the Washington Post uncovered it.

Elvis the Cop?

Elvis was quite interested in law enforcement. When he turned 36 in 1971, he purchased a bunch of police equipment. Then he’d drive around Memphis with a flashing blue light on top of a car (along with several guns) and pull over drivers. Then he’d introduce himself and give the driver an autograph.

Having Fun with Elvis on Stage

The older he got, the more Elvis would ramble, chat, and riff on stage. In 1974, an entire album of Elvis’s rantings was released. Not necessarily because anyone wanted it—Having Fun With Elvis On Stage was made to quickly and cheaply to complete a multi-album record deal.

Martial Arts

In the ‘70s, Elvis became obsessed with martial arts. In the middle of shows, he’d stop the music for a 15-minute karate demonstration. He even made plans to make one more “Elvis movie,” in which he played the greatest karate master in the world.

Guardian Angel

The late Patrick Swayze believed that Elvis was his guardian angel. Four separate psychics told Swayze as much.

Elvis Sightings

It seems like it’s been since the day Elvis died that people have claimed to see the King out and about—the implication being that he faked his death to retire into a more quiet life. But the first big Elvis sighting didn’t occur until 1988. A woman from Kalamazoo, Michigan, told the local newspaper that she saw “Elvis” at a grocery store, and that her daughter spotted him at a Burger King.

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Sneaky Corporations

Powerful corporations often set up fake “institutes” and programs that sound like independent foundations promoting the public good—when in fact they’re just the opposite. Here are four examples. (This article was first published in Uncle John’s Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader .)

Very Inconvenient

The documentary film An Inconvenient Truth received a lot of attention and attracted huge audiences when it was released in May 2006. The film argues that global warming caused by industrial pollution is slowly altering the Earth’s climate and melting the polar ice caps, and will eventually flood major cities and leave the planet uninhabitable.

But shortly after the movie came out, “public service” commercials began appearing on TV, calling global warming a myth and claiming that carbon dioxide—a byproduct of industrial pollution and automobile emissions (and the “villain” of the movie)—is actually not a pollutant at all, because “plants breathe it.” They went on to say that industrial waste is not only harmless, it’s essential to life.

So who made the “public service” ads? A think tank called the Competitive Enterprise Institute, whose members are almost exclusively oil and automobile companies, including Exxon, Arco, Ford, Texaco, and General Motors

Chemicals Are Cool!

In 1997 students in hundreds of high schools across America got a few hours off from class to attend “Chem TV.” Supposedly designed to get kids excited about chemistry and science, it was a traveling multimedia extravaganza featuring loud music, videos, lasers, games, skits, dancers, free T-shirts, a huge set with giant TV screens, and a cast of enthusiastic performers. Educational? Sort of. Chem TV (meant to sound like “MTV”) said it was about chemistry, but it was really about the chemical industry. It was part of a million-dollar public relations campaign by Dow Chemical—one of the world’s biggest polluters—to help change their image. Dow had a controversial history: It supplied napalm and Agent Orange to the government during the Vietnam War, and lawsuits over faulty breast implants nearly bankrupted the company in 1995. Critics charged that the Chem TV presentations were misleading (in one example, an actor took off his clothes to demonstrate that “your entire body is made of chemicals”). Chem TV didn’t differentiate between a chemical (a man-made, often toxic combination of ingredients) and an organic compound (molecules that fuse together naturally—like water). Despite the criticism, the program toured schools for three years and won numerous awards. (And it was tax exempt because it was “educational.”)

Independent Thought

In May 1998, the federal government filed a lawsuit against Microsoft, accusing the software giant of monopolistic behavior. In June 1999, the Independent Institute, a California-based legal think tank, ran full-page ads in the New York Times and Washington Post that staunchly defended Microsoft. In the form of an open letter (signed by 240 “economists”), it stated that prosecuting Microsoft would hurt consumers and weaken the economy. What exactly is the “Independent Institute”? It’s not independent at all. Though its mission statement says it is “dedicated to the highest standards of independent scholarly inquiry,” in 1998 it had exactly one source of funding: Microsoft.

Junk Food = Fitness

The American Council for Fitness and Nutrition was formed in 2003 to combat the United States’ growing obesity problem. At least that’s what they said. Shortly after its formation, the Council held a press conference to announce its latest findings: Contrary to numerous government and medical studies, they reported, too much fast food and vending machines filled with junk food did not make children fat. Turns out the ACFN’s interest in childhood obesity is purely business related. The ACFN is actually a lobbying group…for snack-food makers and fast-food restaurants. Its members include Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, Sara Lee, Pepsi, Nestle, McDonald’s, Hershey, Coca-Cola, and the Sugar Association.

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The Tallest, Shortest, Biggest, Smallest, Youngest, Oldest Athletes Playing Today

We’ve run several articles before about sports star standouts—the tallest, shortest, youngest, oldest, and more to ever play their respective sports. But that’s all in the past—who are some of the current subjects of trivial interest in the NBA, NFL, NHL, and Major League Baseball?

Tallest in the NBA

Three active NBA players are listed as having a height of 7’3.” Unsurprisingly, all of them play Center: Boban Marjanovic of the Detroit Pistons, Walter Tavares of the Cleveland Cavaliers, and Kristaps Porzingis of the New York Knicks.

Shortest in the NBA

Not to be confused with basketball Hall of Famer Isiah Thomas, this current Isaiah Thomas (who was named after the prior player of the same name when his father lost a bet) was the very last pick in the 2011 draft…but this Point Guard has since been named to the All-Star Team twice. This season, he led the Boston Celtics to a no. 1 seed in the playoffs, despite being the shortest player in the entire league, standing a relatively short 5’9”.

Oldest in the NBA

Vince Carter entered the NBA for the Toronto Raptors in the 1998-99 season, and soon after was named Rookie of the Year. He’s an eight-time All-Star and likely future Hall of Famer. While he hasn’t averaged more than 20 points a game since 2008-2009, Carter is still in the NBA playing for the Memphis Grizzlies at age 40.

Biggest in the NFL

The bigger a defensive tackle can be, the better they are for their team. The largest defensive linesman in the NFL is also the largest player currently in the NFL. Kansas City Chiefs nose tackle T.J. Barnes is an imposing 6’7” tall and weighs 364 pounds.

Oldest in the NFL

It’s the offseason, so he just might retire between now and the fall, but Arizona Cardinals quarterback Carson Palmer is currently the oldest guy in the NFL. He was the #1 draft pick in 2003, won the Comeback Player of the Year award in 2015 after coming back from an injury, and last December he celebrated his 37th birthday. (He even briefly retired in 2010.)

Oldest in the NHL

Pro hockey players can last well into their 40s—the legendary Gordie Howe didn’t walk off the ice until he was 51. The current veteran of veterans in the NHL is Florida Panthers right winger Jaromir Jagr. He’s second on the all-time NHL points scored list, and racked up his 1,900th goal in February 2017—on his 45th birthday. Jagr played in his first NFL game in 1990—which was before more than half of his Panthers teammates were born.

Shortest in Major League Baseball

Not as tall as basketball players, but generally speaking, pro baseball players have nine players in baseball history have been listed as under 5’6”. Right now in the major leagues are three players right at that cutoff: Alexi Amarista of the Colorado Rockies, and teammates Jose Altuve and Tony Kemp of the Houston Astros.

Oldest in Major League Baseball

Most pro baseball players retire in their mid-to-late 30s, and their top earning days are behind them. Not Atlanta Braves pitcher Bartolo Colon. He won the Cy Young Award back in 2005 at the age of 32, which is getting up there for a hurler. In 2017, he signed a $12.5 million contract with the Braves. In late May, he’ll turn 44.

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The Official “Blanks” of States

Each of the 50 states has its own “official state” tree, gemstone, fish, animal, dance…you name it! Here is a look at some of them. 

State Outdoor Drama of Alabama

William Gibson’s The Miracle Worker, about the early life of Alabama native Helen Keller, was produced for the first time in 1962 at Ivy Green in Tuscumbia, Keller’s birthplace. It’s still produced there each June as part of the annual Helen Keller Festival.

State Neckwear of Arizona

Long associated with both Western-style clothing and the metalsmithing traditions of Native American groups, the metal-tipped bolo or string tie, Arizona made the distinction official in 1971.

State Fruit and Vegetable of Arkansas

Botanically speaking, a tomato is a fruit. Culturally and in the kitchen, it’s treated as a vegetable. Pleasing both sides of this debate, the tomato is both the official state fruit as well as the official state vegetable of the Razorback State.

State Fabric of California

Denim. California is just the kind of cool, laidback place where everybody wears jeans, right? Sure, but San Francisco, California, is where Levi Strauss started his denim jeans operation in 1853.

State Rock Song of Oklahoma

Folk and traditional songs are common among states, but only a few have an official rock song. For Oklahoma it’s “Do You Realize?” the 2003 hit by Norman, Oklahoma, psychedelic band the Flaming Lips.

State Sports Car of Kentucky

It’s the Chevrolet Corvette. Since 1981, the American classic has been made in facilities in Bowling Green, Kentucky.

State Microbe of Oregon

A microbe is a tiny, living organism. One in particular is vital to Oregon: brewer’s yeast. It’s an important component in Oregon’s winemaking and craft beer industries.

State Dinosaur of Maryland

Sorry, they don’t have real-life living ones there. In 1958, the first ever fossils of a dino called the Astrodon were found in Maryland. It’s estimated to have called the state home about 130 million years ago.

State Bean of Massachusetts

It’s the baked navy bean—otherwise known as Boston Baked Beans. (Not to be confused with the candy-and-peanut Boston Baked Beans…which aren’t really beans at all.)

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Who were Harley & Davidson

Here’s the story behind two of the best-known names in America. (This article was first published in Uncle John’s Legendary Lost Bathroom Reader.)

The first motorcycle was developed by Gottlieb Daimler, one of the founders of Daimler-Benz (maker of the Mercedes Benz) in Germany in 1885. Ten years later, two German brothers, Hildebrand and Alois Wolfmuller, began manufacturing motorcycles to sell to the public.

In 1901 news of the Wolfmullers’ motorcycles reached Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Four young friends—21-year-old William Harley and the Davidson brothers, William, Walter, and Arthur—decided to build a small engine in the Davidsons’ backyard and attach it to one of their bicycles. Legend has it that the engine was made from household castoffs, including a carburetor made of a tomato can.

After working out the bugs on their prototype, they built three more motorized bicycles in 1903 and began riding them around town. Their bikes were simple but reliable—one of them ultimately racked up 100,000 miles. People began asking if they were for sale. The Harley-Davidson Motorcycle Company legally incorporated in 1909. More than 150 U.S. manufacturers eventually followed suit, but Harley-Davidson has outlasted them all. It’s now the only American motorcycle company and sells more than 50,000 motorcycles a year.

The Harley Image

In the mid-1980s, Harley’s “rough rider” image began hurting sales. So the company took steps to change it. They encouraged Harley execs to wear white or red shirts to biker rallies to dispel the notion that Harley riders wear only black. They formed the Harley Owner’s Group (H.O.G.) and the Ladies of Harley club to offset outlaw biker clubs. And they licensed the Harley name and logo to $100 million worth of products as diverse as wine coolers, cologne, and removable tattoos. Still, the company prefers customers with permanent Harley tattoos: “If you can persuade the customer to tattoo your name on their chest,” one executive admits, “they probably will not switch brands.”

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6 Unlikely Movie Directors

Like any other kind of artist or creative person, film directors don’t want to do the same thing all the time. They want to stretch their creative muscles once in a while. Result: Movies directed by about the last person you’d expect.

David Lynch

He’s one of the biggest “cult” filmmakers of all time, responsible for unsettling brain-benders like Eraserhead, Blue Velvet, Mullholland Drive, and the baffling TV series Twin Peaks. But Lynch does branch out from time to time. In 1984, he directed the science-fiction epic Dune (which he took on after turning down the chance to direct Return of the Jedi). And in 1999, he directed the quiet, affecting G-rated The Straight Story. It’s the true story of Alvin Straight, an old timer who rides his tractor cross-country to visit his dying brother.

Leonard Nimoy

By the time the 1980s rolled around, the erstwhile Spock wasn’t being cast in movies anymore, and turned to hosting TV shows and directing. He started off with episodic television and made-for-TV movies, before helming both Star Trek III and Star Trek IV. In 1987, he directed the most successful movie of that year: the comedy Three Men and a Baby.

Sidney Lumet

Lumet usually directed searing, emotionally-intense films about men on the brink. His work includes classics like Serpico, Dog Day Afternoon, Network, and 12 Angry Men. But maybe he needed a break from the serious stuff, because in 1978 he directed the movie adaptation of The Wiz, the soul music-style Broadway musical version of The Wizard of Oz.

Wes Craven

Craven was a master of horror, responsible for shaping the genre with films like The Last House on the Left, Scream, and, most especially, A Nightmare on Elm Street. In 1999, he sat in the director’s chair for Music of the Heart, a tear-jerking movie about an inspirational inner city music teacher played by Meryl Streep.

Jordan Peele

One of the most talked about (and highest grossing) movies of 2017 is the satirical horror film Get Out. It was directed by Jordan Peele, one half of the duo behind Key & Peele, Comedy Central’s Emmy Award-winning sketch comedy series.

Jerry Zucker

Along with his brother David Zucker and collaborator Jim Abrahams, Jerry Zucker created a whole new kind of movie: the parody movie, loaded with relentless jokes. Known as ZAZ, the team wrote and directed Airplane! and The Naked Gun, among other projects. But Jerry Zucker also had a knack for romantic supernatural drama. He directed the 1990 movie Ghost, which earned more than $200 million and earned an Academy Award nomination for Best Picture.

 

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QUIZ: Do You Recognize These Famous Dogs?

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