Bathroom Readers' Institute's Blog, page 101

Fictional Vacation

Check out these real tourist attractions based on fictional places.

Tourists can take a Sopranos tour in suburban New Jersey. Stops include Satriale’s Pork Store, the place where Livia Soprano is “buried,” and the Bada Bing nightclub. The tour includes cannolis and a meeting with actor Joe Gannascoli, who plays Vito on the show.


Gunsmoke was filmed in California, but set in Dodge City, Kansas. Since the 1960s, about 100,000 people a year visit the real Dodge City to see replicas of buildings from the show.


The Wizard of Oz takes place in Kansas, but neither the book nor the movie say where in Kansas. So the town of Liberal decided that it was there, and in 1981 opened a museum they call Dorothy’s House—an old farmhouse that kind of looks like the one in the 1939 movie.


The 1990s TV series Northern Exposure took place in the fictional town of Cicely, Alaska, but was filmed in the real town of Roslyn, Washington. The Roslyn Museum houses artifacts and memorabilia from the show.


People still visit Fort Hays, Kansas, setting of the 1990 movie Dances with Wolves. Only problem: The movie was filmed in South Dakota.


Twin Peaks was filmed in Snoqualmie, Washington, and North Bend, Washington. You can visit the show’s Mar-T Cafe in North Bend, where they sell cherry pie, “a damn fine cup of coffee,” and official Log Lady logs.


What do The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and Sixteen Candles have in common? All were written by John Hughes and all take place in Shermer, Illinois. It’s a fictional place, based on Hughes’s hometown of Northbrook, Illinois. Landmarks from the movie, however, are real. Fans can see the “Save Ferris” water tower and the high school used in The Breakfast Club.


Visiting New York? Take the Seinfeld tour. It’s led by Kenny Kramer, who inspired Michael Richards’s Kramer character on the show. Stops include the Soup Nazi’s restaurant, Monk’s Diner (Tom’s Restaurant in real life), and the building used to film exterior shots of the office where Elaine worked. It’s a great way to spend Festivus.


Sam Spade, the detective in Dashiell Hammett’s The Maltese Falcon, kept his office in the Hunter-Dulin Building at 111 Sutter Street, San Francisco. The building is real; the office is fictional.


Bedrock City in Custer, South Dakota, is a re-creation of the town of Bedrock from The Flintstones. It includes the Flintstone and Rubble homes, the main street (with a bank being held up by a caveman), and Mt. Rockmore, a mini Mt. Rushmore (with Fred, Barney, and Dino instead of presidents).


Little House on the Prairie (the books and the TV show) is based on author Laura Ingalls Wilder’s life, growing up in the 1860s near Wayside, Kansas. People who visit Wayside can see modern replicas of the show’s schoolhouse, post office, and the Ingalls’s cabin.


Fans of Gone With the Wind can’t visit Tara—it’s fictional. But they can visit the Road to Tara Museum in Clayton County, Georgia. Highlights include replicas of some costumes used in the 1939 movie, such as Scarlett’s drapery dress, two seats from the Atlanta movie theater where stars of the movie saw the film’s premiere, and a copy of the novel autographed by the author, Margaret Mitchell.


Andy Griffith was born in Mt. Airy, North Carolina, which became the model for Mayberry on The Andy Grif‑ th Show. Every September, Mt. Airy holds “Mayberry Days”(cast members attend). There’s a statue of Andy and Opie and replicas of Floyd’s Barber Shop, the jail, and Andy’s house. But don’t look for the fishing hole seen in the opening credits—that’s in Beverly Hills.


The house used for exterior shots of The Brady Bunch is at 11222 Dilling Street, North Hollywood, California. The current residents installed an iron fence to keep out fans hoping to catch a glimpse of the Bradys.

This story was first published in Uncle John’s Weird, Weird World.

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8 Facts About Grumpy Cat

Here are some facts you may not know about the notoriously cranky housecat.

She was born on April 4, 2012, which means she’s probably the planet’s most famous three-year-old.


The cat’s permanent grumpy face is caused by, according to owner Tabatha Bundesen, a underbite and feline dwarfism. The cat shot to fame after Tabatha’s brother posted a photo of her on Reddit in Sept. 2012.


“Grumpy Cat” is a stage name. The feline’s real name is the arguably better Tardar Sauce.


The cat has an agent of course. Grumpy Cat’s is Ben Lashes, who has managed other “viral stars,” such as “Keyboard Cat” and “Ridiculously Photogenic Guy.”


In order to keep her calm, healthy, and allow her to live a life as close to that of the average cat, Tardar Sauce only participates in brief public appearances. Photo shoots are held once a week and strangers often aren’t allowed to hold her.


Grumpy Cat’s TV appearances have included “interviews” on Good Morning America and American Idol, a Honey Nut Cheerios commercial, hosting an episode of WWE Monday Night Raw, and starring in the TV movie Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever.

An appearance at the 2013 SXSW Interactive Festival attracted 600 people who waited in a three-block long line for hours in order to get their photos taken with her.


As ridiculous as all of this might sound, it gets more ridiculous: Tardar Sauce is one of the world’s most wealthy celebrities. At one point, all of her book deals (her first one hit The New York Times bestseller list), public appearances, merchandise tie-ins, and film projects were estimated to be worth over $100 million. There’s even a line of Grumpy Cat Premium Iced Coffees.

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4 Dark Pixar Easter Eggs

The animators at Pixar place “Easter eggs” in their films, or references to other Pixar movies. Here are some you probably missed…and boy are they twisted.

In the 2001 Pixar film Monsters, Inc., the monster Randall Boggs (Steve Buscemi) tells monster Sully (John Goodman) that “humans skin monsters and make toilet covers out of their fur.” In the 2012 Pixar short film “Partysaurus Rex,” a little girl is shown taking a bath. In the bathroom is a toilet dressed in a fuzzy, purple-and-turquoise toilet seat cover—the same texture and colors as Sully.

In the 2015 Pixar film Inside Out, Joy (Amy Poehler) and Sadness (Phyllis Smith) visit the place in Riley’s brain where dreams are made. One of them is a nightmare about dead rats. That rat looks a lot like Remy, the main character in Ratatouille.

In the 2004 Pixar film The Incredibles, a French supervillain named Bomb Voyage robs a bank, leads a crusade against the titular superheroes, and escapes unharmed and unpunished. His whereabouts are unknown…until the 2007 Pixar movie Ratatouille. In a scene in Paris, the evil Bomb Voyage can be seen working as a street mime.

In the 2008 Pixar film Wall-E, Earth is left in ruins, with the environment destroyed and most humans living on a luxurious cruise liner in space. Amidst all the piles of junk and rubble on Earth: the Pizza Planet truck from Toy Story, the Hammy piggy bank from Toy Story, a race car from Cars, and a Mike doll from Monsters, Inc.

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6 Terrible Baseball Card Mistakes

Did you collect baseball cards when you were a kid? If so, did you notice these really bad errors that somehow got past the editors?

In 1989, Bill Ripken (younger brother of Cal Ripken, Jr.) was a rookie with the Baltimore Orioles and Fleer produced a card of him in its set for the year. It had a tremendously nasty error on it that sent the value (and secondary market price) for the card sky-high, as much as $75. The error: In the picture, Ripken is standing with a bat on his shoulder, and written on the bottom of the bat is a very nasty F-word derivative. At the time, Ripken claimed a teammate wrote it on there as a way to label the bat a batting practice bat, and he had no idea he’d held it up to the camera. He later admitted to writing the bad word himself.


Even in the immediate wake of the Ripken incident, card printers didn’t get more vigilant. In the 1990 Pacific Senior League card set, outfielder Jim Nettles posed with a bat on his shoulder, like Ripken, and wrote a bad word on the bottom of the bat, like Ripken. This time it was the A-word.


Detroit Tigers pitcher Paul Gibson got a photograph of himself in action on the mound for his 1989 Score trading card. In the background is a teammate very clearly, uh, “adjusting himself.”


The first run of the 1974 Topps baseball card set featured the new team in Washington, D.C. Except there was no team in Washington, D.C. During the offseason the San Diego Padres almost moved there, but then didn’t, but Topps erred on the side of caution and printed 15 Padres player cards with their team listed as “Washington National League.”


The first Barry Bonds card printed by Donruss in 1987 forgot one major element: Barry Bonds. The picture is of his Pittsburgh Pirates teammate Johnny Ray.


Topps remembered to put Frank Thomas on his 1990 card, but forgot to put the name “Frank Thomas.” Or anybody’s name—it was blank.

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How to Give Yourself Hair Plugs

Luscious locks lost their luster? You could always try Rogaine, or Propecia, or a hair transplant.

What You’ll Need

Shampoo
Antibacterial cream
Prescriptionstrength painkiller
Pot of coffee
Two microsurgical blades
Mirror
Fine-tooth tweezers
Petri dish
Saline solution
Fine-tip permanent marker
Razor
Scissors

Do It Yourself!

Determine your “donor site.” This should be a spot on your head where your hair is still plentiful. Trim the hair in this area down to 1–2 mm in length.
Wash your hair with the shampoo, and allow it to dry completely. Then apply the antibacterial cream to your donor site and the area (a.k.a., the “recipient site,” or “bald spot”) where you’ll be inserting the plugs.
Draw a series of 1-millimeter dots across the recipient site with the marker for each spot where you’ll be inserting a plug of hair. Note: You may need anywhere from several dozen to several thousand dots depending on how much hair you hope to replace.
Fill the Petri dish with the saline. (You can also use a regular dish that’s just come out of the dishwasher, but make sure that it doesn’t have any crusty stuff on it. Hardened cheese is especially bad for hair plugs.)
Swallow a few of those painkillers, because this procedure is going to hurt. A lot.
Drink the pot of coffee, because those painkillers can make you sleepy, and this is very repetitive, very boring surgery that could make you nod off .
Grab your microblade and get ready to operate. While relying on the mirror to see what you’re doing, make a tiny incision into the first spot in your donor site. Your goal is to obtain a 0.6 to 1 mm graft of hair and tissue.
Use the tweezers to remove the graft. Place it in the dish full of saline.HAIR YOU GO!
Use the second surgical blade to make a “recipient wound” in the first dot in the recipient site.
Place the graft into the recipient wound. If it falls out, try again.
Repeat steps 6 through 8 hundreds if not thousands of times, until you’ve filled every dot in the recipient area or you’re about to pass out from blood loss, pain, or boredom.
With any luck, your new plugs won’t become terribly infected and will actually “take.” This means that the skin on your head won’t reject them, causing the relocated hairs to dry up and fall out. If all goes well, you’ll get a head of hair as lush and full as Fabio’s, circa 1994.

This article was first published in Uncle John’s How to Toilet Train Your Cat.

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3 Weird and Wonderful Roadside Attractions

Some people consider these road trip stops totally fascinating…while others might call them “tourist traps.”

Miracle of America

If you like American history and also Tyrannosaurus Rex models made out of old tractor parts, then this museum in Polson, Montana is the destination for you. Gil and Joanne Mangels founded Miracle of America in 1981, and the colossal non-profit museum is now comprised of dozens of buildings stuffed full of over 112,000 “artifacts” ranging from Native American headdresses to rusty army helicopters. Some of the crazier items at this museum that follows no particular theme include a two-headed calf, a motorcycle made out of wood and one of the flying monkey costumes from The Wizard of Oz.

The House on the Rock

This strange attraction has perplexed visitors since it first opened in 1959. Located in a rural spot north of Dodgeville, Wisconsin, it’s literally a house on a rock, specifically Deer Shelter Rock, a large stone column. Several additions, including a nearby inn, have been added over the years and the complex now contains uniquely designed rooms, full-scale recreations of historic streets, gardens, and other odd features. “The Heritage of the Sea” includes a 200-foot model of a sea creature that might be a whale. There are also lots of old-fashioned music machines, in addition to what the owners called “The World’s Largest Indoor Carousel.” Even weirder: no one seems to agree on why exactly the original house was built. According to legend, it was inspired by an argument between an eccentric local designer and the famous architect Frank Lloyd Wright. The House was even featured in the video for 10,000 Maniacs’ “More Than This.”

The Oregon Vortex

Strange things are said to happen all the time at this attraction in Gold Hill, Oregon, about 30 miles from the Bathroom Readers’ Institute. The Vortex’s “House of Mystery” once served as a gold assay office, until the building weirdly slipped off of its foundation in the 1910s. The structure was eventually turned into a tourist attraction and both it and the surrounding grounds offer visitors all sorts of strange optical effects: You can watch a ball roll backward up a ramp in the house or get totally freaked out by a spot outside that makes people appear either taller or shorter than they are in reality. Since opening in 1930, the Oregon Vortex has been mentioned on The X Files and supposedly inspired Gravity Falls, the Disney Channel cartoon set in a weird Oregon town. If you enter “Gravity Falls, Oregon” into Google Maps, what pops up? The Oregon Vortex.

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Life in a Democrazy

Our 28th annual edition, Uncle John’s Factastic Bathroom Reader is finally here. Want a sneak peek? Here are four odd stories from the halls of U.S. state legislatures. 

Like, Meow, Dude

In 2015 Nevada state senator Tick Segerblom proposed a bill legalizing medical marijuana…for dogs and cats. Segerblom acknowledged that there are no formal studies proving the medical benefits of getting your furry friends high, but said a veterinarian told him it could potentially ease the suffering of pets with debilitating illnesses. When asked if pot might be harmful to pets, he said, “You don’t know until you try.”

A Wheel Big Problem

In 2013 Washington state representative Ed Orcutt replied to an e-mail sent from a bike shop owner protesting a $25 tax on new bicycles over $500. Defending the tax, Orcutt claimed that cyclists cost the state money: “The act of riding a bike results in greater emissions of carbon dioxide from the rider.

Since CO2 is deemed to be a greenhouse gas and a pollutant, bicyclists are actually polluting when they ride.” After a public outcry, Orcutt backpedaled, saying he meant that cyclists “have a lower footprint but not a zero footprint” but that his e-mail was “poorly worded.”

Sixty Shades of Dumb

During an Iowa House debate on collective bargaining for teachers, State Rep. Ross Paustian was photographed holding a book called Sex After Sixty. Hundreds of the Republican’s constituents complained to his office, but Paustian said it was an innocent mistake. He wasn’t reading the book, he explained, but merely “holding it for a friend,” fellow lawmaker Robert Bacon.

Hawkish Behavior

In 2015 a fourth-grade class from Hampton Falls, New Hampshire, worked with their teacher to draft a new law that would make the red-tailed hawk New Hampshire’s “state raptor.” The bill had already made it through two subcommittees when the students went on a field trip to the state capitol building to watch the final floor vote. When they arrived in the assembly hall, the lawmakers applauded them…and then lambasted the bill. “This hawk grasps its prey with its talons and then uses its razor-sharp beak to basically tear it apart limb by limb,” said Rep. Warren Groen. “It would serve as a much better mascot for Planned Parenthood.” Rep. John Burt added, “If we keep bringing more of these bills…we’ll be picking a state hot dog next.” Then the civic-minded students got to watch their beloved House Bill 373 lose by a 160-133 vote.

This article first appeared in Uncle John’s Factastic Bathroom Reader.

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More Emmys Than Viewers

Well, they weren’t quite that unpopular. But here are some TV series that won major Emmy Awards despite a very low viewership.

Mad Men won the Best Drama Series award for each of its first four seasons (2007-2011). It’s never been that popular of a show, ratings-wise. One of the first series to air on the then-obscure cable network American Movie Classics, it struggled to attract more than a million viewers in its first season. It’s main timeslot competition at the time, which brought in three times as many eyeballs, was E!’s Keeping Up With the Kardashians.

The quirky CBS drama Picket Fences won Best Drama in 1993 and 1994, its first two seasons. The show about a family in a small Wisconsin town, with lots of police and courtroom plotlines, faltered in its Friday night timeslot. Its first season the show was #80 amongst all shows, and in its second season, jumped all the way up to #66.

The 1971 winner for Best Drama was The Bold Ones: The Senator. The Bold Ones was an umbrella title for a number of different series that aired every few weeks in the same timeslot. In addition to The Senator, viewers could watch The New Doctors, The Lawyers, and The Protectors. The Senator starred Hal Holbrook as a crusading, idealistic senator…and it was the least popular of all The Bold Ones offerings. The Bold Ones series lasted until 1972, but The Senator was cancelled after one season of eight installments. It’s the briefest series to ever win Best Drama at the Emmys—shows that get nominated for and win in the Best Miniseries category are technically longer than The Senator.

Despite airing right after Fox’s perennial hit, The Simpsons, the comedy Arrested Development flopped in the 2003-2004 TV season. It ranked #120 out of all shows, or just about last. But critics and fans loved the show’s dense, joke-and-callback heavy format, and how it was one of the first network sitcoms to ditch a laugh track. It won the Best Comedy Series Emmy in 2004 and aired for two more shortened, little-watched seasons on Fox.

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When Relationships Ruin Bands

Let’s let the myth end here: Yoko Ono didn’t split up the Beatles—they were already falling apart when John Lennon met the eccentric artist. But here are some other bands who fell apart when romance got in the way.

ABBA was the bestselling pop group of the 1970s, responsible for disco hits like “Dancing Queen” and “Mamma Mia!” But it wasn’t the end of disco that ended ABBA—it was divorce. The group had hits into the early ‘80s, but split up for good in 1981, after the two married couples that comprised the band both divorced.

The Fugees were huge in the 1990s. The rap/soul trio had a big hit with a cover of Roberta Flack’s “Killing Me Softly,” but after two albums, each member pursued a solo career, and it’s been nearly 20 years since the band recorded together. According to the Fugees’ Pras Mitchell, it’s because the other two band members, Wyclef Jean and Lauryn Hill, can’t stand to be around each other. During the band’s heyday, Jean and Hill were dating, but were not exclusive. Hill became pregnant by musician Rohan Marley (son of Bob Marley), and Jean was heartbroken.

City High was a pop/R&B trio who scored a gold record and a string of top 10 hits in the early 2000s, such as “What Would You Do.” The group only ever released one, self-titled album. Why? City High consisted of one woman, Claudette Ortiz, and two men, Robbie Pardlo and Ryan Toby. Things got a little tense when Ortiz and Pardlo’s relationship ended and Ortiz started dating Toby.

Uncle Tupelo pioneered the “alternative country” genre in the 1990s, notable for bands like Son Volt and Wilco. In fact, both of those bands were created by former members of Uncle Tupelo. Jay Farrar formed Son Volt when he found out that his bandmate Jeff Tweedy (later of Wilco) was obsessed with Farrar’s wife, and allegedly tried to seduce her.

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4 Ways To Light a Fire Without Matches

This might not save you in the even of an apocalypse, but you never know when little tricks like these will come in handy. Not all of these fire techniques are easy, but they do work with practice.

With a Battery and Steel Wool

Use the batteries from a flashlight, cell phone, or whatever else is handy. Roll a piece of steel wool between your hands and form it into a “wire” long enough to touch both the positive and negative contacts, shorting the battery. (A 9-volt battery is ideal, since the contacts are right next to each other.) When the wool shorts the battery, it will ignite, and you can use it to light a fire.

With a Flashlight 

Unscrew the front of a flashlight. Remove the silver reflector, then remove the bulb from the reflector. Place some tinder (lint, dried twigs, moss, or a cigarette work well) through the hole in the reflector, and point it at the sun so that the sunlight is focused on the tinder. When the tinder catches, use it to light a larger fire.

With a Soda Can

The bottom of a soda can has a shape similar to the reflector of a flashlight. Polish the bottom of the can with a chocolate bar until it shines like a mirror (this can take a while), then use it like the flashlight reflector to focus sunlight on some tinder.

With a Water Balloon

Fill a translucent balloon with water and tie it shut. (Round balloons work best.) Use the balloon like the lens of a magnifying glass. If you hold it one to two inches from the ground, the light passing through it will be focused to a small, bright point. Squeeze the balloon to make the point of light as small and bright as possible, and use it to light some tinder.

This story was first published in Uncle John’s Fully Loaded 25th Anniversary Bathroom Reader.

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