Mary DeTurris Poust's Blog, page 27

Why do I stay in this Church?

“Why do you remain a Catholic?” That was the challenge issued by Elizabeth Scalia (aka The Anchoress) via Facebook this week, calling me (among many other Catholic writers) out by name. Never one to refuse a good challenge, I started to ponder that question as I headed out to meet Dennis for date night at The City Beer Hall in Albany. As we sat at the bar, sipping our Chatham Maple Amber, Dennis reminded me that I had already written my own blog post on this very topic more than a year ago. (I’m glad someone remembers what I write!) Sure enough. I went back and found my own take: “Why Am I Still Here? In this Church, that is.”

That post appeared on Not Strictly Spiritual on Jan. 21, 2014, in response to a sex abuse story that was circulating in the news at the time and making me ask myself that very question: Why do I stay? I originally planned to re-post that link on Elizabeth’s Facebook thread as my response to the new version of that old question and be done with it. Easy peasy. But then I thought, no, that’s not my truth because it would imply that the sex abuse scandal is the only thing that makes me wonder sometimes why I stay. And, quite frankly, abuse is just one thing among many that can make this faith a challenging matter.

Don’t get me wrong. My Catholic blood runs true blue and has for all of my almost 53 years. I love the Church deeply, but sometimes the Church makes me crazy. You know how your family can make you crazy? Yeah, like that. There are days when I want to run away, change my address, and take up a new identity. Family can do that to you, and the Church is my family, the Church is my home, and, since I’ve worked for the Church for 30-plus years in one form or another, the Church is also my business. When you spend that amount of time with anything or anyone, it can sometimes make you want to run screaming from the room. And yet I haven’t run. I haven’t changed my identity. I am here, not without some fairly regular whining, but here. Firmly planted, whether I am giddy with the joy of faith or grumbling in the pain of darkness. But why? Why not walk away and be done with even the most minor frustrations? Why not find an easier path or maybe even “create my own religion,” as some tell me they have done, where I crop out the hard stuff and fill the frame with only flowers and light?

Because life is never just flowers and light, because there will always be frustrations, there will always be something to whine about, something that doesn’t go according to my plan, and I cannot imagine getting through my daily dose of drama without God ever-present in my corner, without Jesus always in front of me, without the Eucharist providing food for the often-difficult journey.

When the crowds around Jesus start to have trouble with some of his difficult teachings and begin walking away, he asks his closest followers if they, too, will leave.

“Lord, to whom shall we go?” Peter answers. “You have the words of everlasting life.” That was the reason I gave in my original blog post on this topic, and it remains at the heart of my answer today. Always I identify with Peter, who never fails to screw up but somehow gets it on a deeper level. He doubts, he denies, he runs away, but Jesus sees through it to the faith that lives inside him. I pray Jesus can do the same with me, see through my mistakes and missteps and failures to the faith that is sometimes shaky, often lukewarm, but always present. For my entire life my faith has been the air I breathe. Like the beating heart we don’t question until it starts to fail, my faith has been beating inside of me for almost 53 years, often without my taking the time to stop and admire its steadfast rhythm and life-giving power. Until someone asks me, “Why stay?”

Like Peter I can only say, “To whom shall I go?” If not here, where? If not this, what? This is where Truth lives. This is the Way. This is the Word to which I cling. Jesus, the Alpha and the Omega — with me, with all of us, until the end of time.

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Note to my younger self: Don’t pack the Dante books

A former editor, current friend, and perpetually great writer posted an essay — What Fresh Hell Is This? — about the advice he’d give to his 22-year-old self knowing what he knows now. It’s a wonderful weaving of Dante, disappointment, and discovery that will make you think and probably make you nod your head in recognition at least once or twice, regardless of what you and your 22-year-old self have experienced over the course of a lifetime.

For me, this was one of those moments:

“After all these years, I’ve come to realize that I really don’t enjoy reading the “Divine Comedy”; I just like the thought of being someone who enjoys reading the “Divine Comedy.” I like to pretend I’m special, but I’m really just like everyone else.”

Yup, except, unlike Bob, I’ve never even attempted The Divine Comedy, despite having a bachelor’s degree in English, despite owning that lovely set of books you see in the photo here, complete with side-by-side Italian and English translations. Those books have been on my bookshelf in various apartments and houses in various cities for more than 30 years. I guess I, too, like the idea of Dante more than I like the actual reading of this classic. (For the record, I also have not read the The Iliad or The Odyssey shelved right next to it. Same idea, different classics.)

Then again, there’s a lot I’ve got sitting on the shelf of my life, unopened, untouched, undiscovered for a host of reasons that run the gamut from laziness to fear to exhaustion by a life that at times overwhelms and confounds.

“Life is messy,” Bob writes. “It’s forever unfinished, often complicated and sometimes extraordinary, and it renews itself with or without you. Everything matters, because every moment is unique.” (Read the full post HERE.)

Amen. Why do I always seem to forget that?

So what would you tell your 22-year-old self as you look at your life with 20/20 hindsight thanks to your progressive lenses? I’m going to ponder that thought as I go about my day and come back with my own version of this post.

Right after I put my Dante books out on the curb.

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Monks, music and musings on monastic life

I came across this video clip via the Morning Air Show on Relevant Radio and clicked on it mainly because I love Gregorian Chant, but it is so much more than an album promotion. It gives you a brief glimpse into monastic life in general and Benedictine spirituality specifically, along with some beautiful views of Italy and hauntingly beautiful music. It’s like a micro-version of the monastic feature film Into Great Silence. If you have a few minutes, this is sure to bring a little serenity to your day. The album, Benedicta: Marian Chant from Norcia by the Monks of Norcia, is available June 2.

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Preach it, Denzel Washington

This is so worth 11 minutes of your time. Denzel Washington gives a commencement address that doubles as spiritual direction. “Put God first,” he told the graduates, and then went on to remind them to “fail big,” serve others, and get down on their knees every morning to thank God in advance for what is already theirs. Powerful talk. Check it out.

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On retreat: Finding beauty in our brokenness

I was so blessed to give a retreat day at Mariandale Retreat and Conference Center in Ossining, N.Y., this weekend. A beautiful location with wonderful people. And great food. With seashells scattered around the room and prayer intentions overflowing our sea-themed bowl, we dove into the topic of brokenness and discovered a wholeness there. At least that’s what we were aiming for. And we did “collage as prayer,” one of my favorite things to do these days. It seemed to be a hit among the retreat participants as well. There’s something about cutting and gluing in silence that is soothing and centering. And it always seems to lead to at least a smidgen of self-discovery.

Here are a few photos from our day. Thank you to everyone who took time out of their busy Mother’s Day weekend to attend. And thank you to the Dominican Sisters of Hope, who run the retreat house and who have lovingly offered to remember our prayer intentions in their own prayers this week. God bless all of you!

Collage as prayer gets under way.

Collaging gets serious.

Our seashell-themed prayer space. Broken is beautiful.

Prayer intentions fill our bowl. The Dominican Sisters of Hope kept these intentions and will pray for us during the week.

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Fitting farewell for a giant in Church communications

I was honored to be able to attend the funeral of Mercy Sister Mary Ann Walsh this morning in the chapel at her motherhouse in Albany, where family, friends, and quite a few Catholic media colleagues gathered to pay their respects and say farewell to a woman who has set the standard for Catholic communications for decades. Although I had the chance to work with Sister Mary Ann only minimally here and there over my own 30 years in the Catholic press, she was present at every turn, whether it was a story she wrote for Catholic News Service, a press release she sent from the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, or, in later years, her blog posts and, finally, her America columns. 

Bishop Emeritus Howard Hubbard of Albany was principal celebrant of the funeral Mass.

As I sat a few rows behind  her coworkers from the USCCB and CNS and listened to priests and bishops sing her praises, I thought about how lucky and blessed I have been to work in Church communications during Sister Mary Ann’s tenure. When I walked into Catholic New York all those years ago as an intern, little did I know that one story would turn into a lifetime of Catholic writing, and it is because of Sister Mary Ann — a trailblazer for women journalists covering the Church — that so many of us had the chance to pick up a pen and follow, in whatever small way we could, in her footsteps.

We said goodbye to a great lady today — a woman of faith, a woman of integrity, a woman of talent who taught all of us, even those of us who had to learn from afar, what it means to communicate the Good News with truth, honor, joy, and courage.

(Photos by Dennis Poust)

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‘Broken, Beautiful, and Beloved’ retreat day May 9

It’s not too late to register! I’ll be offering a one-day retreat at the Mariandale Retreat and Conference Center in Ossining, N.Y., on Saturday, May 9, on my favorite topic: “Broken Beautiful, and Beloved: Learning to see ourselves through God’s eyes.”

The day will include a talk, lunch, some quiet time, a chance to journal and/or try out collage as a form of prayer and contemplation, and group discussion. Here are the details from the website: 

Broken, Beautiful, and Beloved 

So often we imagine that in order to be loved we must become better, different, perfect. But what if the things we think need to be “fixed” in order to make us more lovable – flaws and weaknesses, mistakes and sins – are the very things that make us beautiful in our own way? Can we learn to see our brokenness as a beauty mark instead of a scar? During this retreat day, we’ll try to remove the filters that color our vision and see ourselves as God does – wonderfully made, imperfections and all. After a morning talk and lunch, we’ll take some quiet time for reflection, followed by a journaling exercise and a group discussion to explore the ways we can begin to see our brokenness, not as a problem to be solved, but as a truth to be honored. We are all broken, beautiful, and beloved. Please bring a journal and a writing instrument for afternoon exercises.

Presenter: Mary DeTurris Poust

Saturday, May 9

10:00 am – 3:30 pm

Fee: $75 – $95 (as you are able) includes lunch

Here’s the link for the registration form, or register by phone at 914-941-4455. If you want to attend but are having any issues at all with the online form, please email me through this site and I’ll contact the retreat center for you and facilitate your registration.

Peace and All Good. I hope to see you in early May.

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A perfectly timed novena. St. Catherine, pray for us.

I woke up this morning and noticed a link to a Novena to St. Catherine of Siena in my Facebook feed. I will admit that I am not one to pray novenas often. Okay, almost never. But this one caught my attention. St. Catherine of Siena has a special place in my heart. I consider her one of my patron saints since my middle name is Kathleen. To top it off, her feast day, April 29, is my wedding anniversary. So there’s that, but there’s oh so much more than the name and date connections.

Catherine was such a strong Catholic woman, one who was not only powerful and fearless in her love of God but powerful and fearless in her love for the Church. A mystic, a counselor to popes, a stigmatic, a Doctor of the Church. What’s not to love? Especially if you are a modern Catholic woman looking for a strong spiritual role model.

I have been to both Santa Maria Sopra Minerva in Rome, where here body rests, and Basilica San Domenico in Siena, where her head rests. And when Dennis was in Rome last year on St. Catherine’s feast day, he had the opportunity to put Rosary beads and prayer cards on St. Catherine’s exposed tomb when they opened the gate behind the altar for the feast.

This past October, when the pilgrimage group I was leading went to Siena (You can read a post about that HERE.), we attended Mass in the Basilica San Domenico. (That’s the reliquary holding her head in the photo above left.) Being in that basilica and touching the pillar she once clung to as she prayed and kneeling where she knelt was such an powerful moment for me. Unexpected tears ran down my face as I stood in that basilica in awe.

St. Catherine’s street

Here is the street where St. Catherine of Siena grew up. Her house is down there on the right, just past the umbrella you see here. Some day I will go back to Siena for more than a half-day and bask in St. Catherine’s Italy.

Today is the first day of the Novena to St. Catherine, which is running over at Discerning Hearts. Click HERE for the link to the day-by-day prayers, and join me in this beautiful novena taken from St. Catherine’s own writings and spiritual teachings.

St. Catherine of Siena, pray for us.

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Where I’ve been, where you’ll find me

I know things have been relatively quiet here for the past week or so. That’s because I’m renegotiating my work/life schedule these days, and it’s taking some adjustment. Last week I started working half-time as the digital/social media consultant and coordinator for the Diocese of Albany. Hence the i.d. tag you see here. I am loving my new work so far, even as I continue to do all of my other freelance work. I really should be writing a spiritual reflection right now, so I’ll keep this brief. 

As you all know, I love social media and I love all things Catholic, so this is the perfect fit for me. I spent all day yesterday out at the National Shrine of the Divine Mercy in Stockbridge covering Divine Mercy Sunday with Bishop Edward Scharfenberger of Albany, who concelebrated Mass with Cardinal Timothy Dolan of New York. Here are a couple of photos from the event:

Cardinal Dolan and Bishop Scharfenberger

Bishop Scharfenberger is interviewed by Father Chris Alar, MIC, during EWTN’s live broadcast.

If you’re from New York’s Capital Region and would like to keep up with Catholic news and events, be sure to follow the Diocese of Albany on Facebook at www.facebook.com/DioceseOfAlbany and on Twitter at @AlbanyDiocese. You can also follow Bishop Scharfenberger’s Facebook page at www.facebook.com/AlbanyBishopEd and his Twitter feed at @AlbBishopEd.

I’ll be back with some regular NSS posting soon. Thanks for your patience!

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Bishop Scharfenberger reflects on a year in Albany

Bishop Edward Scharfenberger of Albany marks his first anniversary as spiritual leader of our Capital Region diocese tomorrow, April 10. By clicking on the photo below, you can watch a wide-ranging interview with Geoff Redick of Time Warner Cable News Capital Region on the bishop’s first 12 months at the helm of this 10,000-square-mile diocese serving 330,0o0 Catholics — from pizza and prayer, to challenges and changes.

Great interview. I was lucky enough to grab these shots as taping started to roll. Even if you don’t live in the Diocese of Albany, you’re sure to find some tidbit to inspire you. Thanks, Bishop Ed, for your leadership, your honesty, and your example of faith.

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