Nicole Helm's Blog, page 9

Let’s Talk About Books, Baby (January Edition)

It’s the last Monday in January, so let’s talk about the good books I read this month.

Before I get into the specifics though, I have to give a shout out to my mom whose birthday it is today. I can still vividly remember her reading me and my sister Little House on the Prairie. Specifically the part where the dog disappears and you think he’s dead and we’re sitting on the couch in our living room in suburban Chicago and I am crying. I still can’t read books with dogs in them, even though, spoiler alert, the dog is NOT dead.

Anyway, she read us Charlotte’s Web and took us to the library and where would I be without all the books that got me through life? Nowhere.

So thanks, Mom. Happy Birthday. I’d be lost without you.

Ironically (maybe?), I actually did read a romance that included dogs this month, and it was a great book. (Also, the dogs did not die).

The Other Side of Us by Sarah Mayberry. I think I could talk about this book forever and ever because it does so many things that make this little romance reader happy dance. I loved the play on some gender/romance stereotypes. My more comprehensive review here: Goodreads Review

I’m slowly working my way through Cara McKenna’s erotic Curio series. I read the second vignette this month, Craving, and in it finally found a novella I enjoyed and didn’t feel too short. Regardless of what McKenna is writing, her prose are gorgeous. I love her voice and the beauty of her writing.

I was also lucky enough to read an advanced copy of a book my a fellow Entangled/Samhain author Jackie Ashenden. Her debut, Falling for Finn, comes out next month and it’s a great read. The opening chapters are so emotionally charged, I actually had a physical reaction. The depth of emotion in the writing is top notch, and what I particularly enjoyed about this story is the characters weren’t always nice to each other. I know that’s a weird thing to like, but in real life we often hurt people when we’re hurt or scared, and so there was an extra sort of realism depicted that I particularly enjoy.

So, that’s my January roundup. Hopefully February brings some great reads too.

Filed under: Friday Reads, romance

January Updates

First up, my youngest, the little itty baby born a mere ten months ago is walking. WALKING. Also, there is nothing little or itty about him. He’s a big ole baby and now he’s lumbering around trying to climb stairs and dive head first into my shin. He also has to go in for some out-patient surgery on Friday. Not the kind of milestone I’m super excited about.

In book news, Seven Night Stand, my first Entangled Indulgence title, has an official release month. In May you’ll have the chance to meet my hunky Kansan pilot/airport owner and his fling that turns into more with a polished reality TV scout. And yes, it’s an Indulgence set in Kansas. It’s only a little weird.

I’ve added a sign up link for my nonexistent newsletter in the sidebar. I don’t actually HAVE a newsletter yet, but if you’d be interested in getting one once I do, feel free to sign up.

Last week I registered for the RWA Conference in July. It’s both exciting and nerve wracking. Not only am I not used to traveling alone, but I’ve also never been to any conference before, let alone one this big. It will put my sorely neglected people skills to the test, but that’ll probably be good for me.

This week I’m working on proposals. Synopses and first three chapters of a few projects I’d like to sell. Mostly linked stories to books I already have under contract. A lot of what I work on next is dependent on getting some news on my current projects out and about. I can’t stand not writing though. So, today I’m working on my heroine fixing the hero’s car. He’s not altogether sure how he feels about that.

Filed under: Entangled, publishing, Seven Night Stand, What I'm Up To

Babylogues & Feminism

Per usual, I’m probably about a month late and many dollars short to this conversation, but when I have something to say about a particular topic it usually takes me days to put together my thoughts in any rational form. By the time I have come up with my point in a succinct, coherent way, the conversation is over. (Not that what follows is necessarily succinct or coherent).

But, aha!, I have a blog. I can talk about whatever I want, whenever I want. So, today I’m going to talk about the idea that epilogues featuring marriage and/or babies is somehow anti-feminist or misogynistic.

There was a conversation about babylogues (an epilogue featuring hero and heroine blissfully happy and full of BABIES) on Twitter weeks ago, and my grand addition to that conversation was I really want to see an epilogue that featured the truth of babies. Parents who would give their left leg for a few hours of sleep.

I’m not a big proponent of the babylogue. Perhaps it’s because I am too close to having babies myself and I JUST WANT TO SLEEP. I do not want to read about smiling, content women blissfully cradling their babies. I want to read about a toddler jamming their head into her crotch while the baby screams its head off. (I admit, that’s not exactly the happily ever fantasy many crave in romance).

BUT, I noticed time and time again this idea that a babylogue or any epilogue that featured the hero and heroine settled in marriage and having kids was somehow anti-woman, anti-feminist, or misogynistic. That it meant the author had some ingrained belief that only marriage and babies can satisfy a woman.

I couldn’t quite pinpoint why that bothered me at first, because, yes, babylogues can be misogynistic. I’m sure there are authors out there, just like that there are people out there, who believe a woman’s role is subservient to a man’s, and that she must get married and pop out babies to be happy.

But, here is the problem I have with labeling “marriage and kids” as automatically equalling “hates women”. Some women do want to have babies and some woman do want to get married and they find men who want marriage and babies and I don’t think there’s anything wrong or inherently degrading about that. Yes, it’s a societal norm, but I don’t feel that means it’s wrong.

Per usual, I’m uncomfortable with the idea of ALL and EITHER/OR there are too many grey areas. I think most of us agree with that, but sometimes in our irritation with something that gets lost in the discourse. Or, if it’s on Twitter, word limit impinges upon the point as well.

Still, in this conversation, I didn’t see a lot of people standing up for the babylogue, and that’s cool. You don’t have to like them, I actually usually don’t, but I don’t have a problem with most of them either. So, here I stand. Saying babylogues can be okay. And non-babylogues can be okay. And it can all be okay without it being damaging or denigrating to woman.

As can be said with everything, it’s ALL about the execution. I don’t stand here pro-EVERY babylogue. I stand here pro-SOME babylogue. When it’s right for the characters and the story and there’s spit-up or an exhausted parent somewhere.

Because, hey, I am married and I have kids. I wanted to get married and I wanted to have kids. Was it the sole purpose of my life? No. Was I happy to stay at home and not have to continue working in jobs I hated? Hell to the yes. And, so, I have no problem with a woman who wants these things. I don’t think less of her because I AM her.

My mom raised me and my sisters with the idea that a woman could do anything a man could do. There was a period in my life I was determined to be the first female MLB player (let’s ignore the fact my athletic skills leave something to be desired). My mom, through her comments, the books she read us, the movies she watched with us, told us in big shiny letters we were as important, strong, and capable as men. Equals.

She did this while staying at home with her kids while my dad worked.

And this is the crux of my discomfort with the notion marriage and babies can’t be fulfilling. Or can’t be feminist. Because my mom wasn’t having any archaic notion bullshit in her house, and she raised three intelligent, educated, driven daughters (one sister is about to graduate med school, the other is a journalism student in a competitive program). But marriage and babies were her life for a lot of years. It’s not mutually exclusive or some ingrained misogyny.

I remember during this past election I was getting pissed off at a certain candidate assuming that the woman needed to go home and cook her family dinner. I may have muttered some things about misogyny and my husband looked at me and told me I was the weirdest feminist ever, because I do in fact stay at home, cook for my family, and care for the children. If I couldn’t be a writer, I would have no desire for a job whatsoever. I am quite happy being a lame version of Suzy Homemaker.

I explained to him (a little woman-splaining, if you will) I believe feminism isn’t about not being moms or having jobs or cooking or not cooking. Feminism is about women being offered the same choice men are offered. Feminism, for me, is about equality. That I CAN work outside the home if I choose to. That I don’t have to love to cook or have babies. And the man can love to cook or care for the children. It doesn’t matter. I can make choices just like men can. My being female does not mean I have to think or do or behave a certain way. I’m human. Just like dudes are.

So, it bothers me that having a character who is happy with those things is somehow ingrained misogyny. We have choices. Some women choose one route, some choose another.

Of course, some epilogues and babylogues do reek of old fashioned ideals. The woman who gives up a career she loved but is just as happy and fulfilled to be a baby maker. Yeah, that’s going to make me throw a book across the room, but in contemporary romance nowadays, I don’t see this much. Maybe it’s just me and the author’s I choose to read. (For instance, in Sarah Mayberry’s latest, The Other Side of Us, the heroine comes home from work to a hero who is cooking her dinner, among other gender “role reversing” that happens in this book. I loved it! But I also wouldn’t have a problem if the hero comes home to the heroine cooking if that’s what makes her happy).

Yes, there could be some societal norms and expectations inherent in the choice to make characters fulfilled by “settling down” and having a babies. Marriage and babies seems to be the pinnacle of “norm”. But I think that’s a different issue than whatever one I’m trying to poke at–that’s an issue separate from sexism. The point I’m feebly marching around is that marriage and kids aren’t just about women. Which brings me to my second point…

Romance isn’t just about the heroine. Her desire for a spouse or kids doesn’t trump the hero’s desires as well. I think good contemporary romance shows hero and heroine as equals. And, what if they both want to get married and have a family?

I came to this conclusion when I was reading an epilogue I’d written. It’s not a babylogue, but it does feature the couple from the first book getting married and the couple from the second book getting engaged. Things are tied up in a little bow where you know these four people have their HEA with marriage.

What I think working on this epilogue while thinking about babylogues did for me was open my eyes to the fact that I was having these characters get married as much for the heroes as for the heroines. The heroes had a crappy childhood with crappy parents. The love they received came from their grandparents, both of whom are dead now. The hero in book number two in particular was searching for family and love and by getting engaged at the end, HE got that.

Yes, the heroine did too, but I don’t think it was quite as profound for her. She hadn’t been searching quite so diligently for love and family because she’d been so burned by it in the past.

So the heroes are looking to make a family–not to have a wife to take care of them, but because they want to support and be supported and love and be loved. Our heroines do too. It’s a mutual decision not meant to degrade or put one person lower. I certainly didn’t marry my husband with the idea he’d somehow have power over me.

And having children was a mutual decision. Yeah, biology dictated I had to do all the hard growing and birthing a baby work, but once that baby was out, my husband and I were a team. It was something we both wanted and worked for and continue to work at.

So why does marriage and babies have to be anti-feminist? Can be-yes. Have to be? No.

I think the thing that would nip this conversation/issue in the bud would not be getting rid of the babylogue or getting rid of characters getting married at the end. I think the number one thing that would change how we feel about the babylogue would be diversity. In a weird way I think many of us are objecting not to the instance of a babylogue, but to the sameness of the babylogue. Doting parents, or a husband rubbing the happy preggo’s belly (barf), the man coming home to his “girls”. I think if we saw more babylogues where, much like the Mayberry epilogue mentioned above, things were flipped a little, there’d be less of an issue. Because it’s all about equality–not making one thing always the woman and still not flipping it so it’s always the man, but a balance.

So, I guess in the end I’m not so much pro-babylogue as I am pro-balance. I can be okay with the babylogue where the mom stays home with the kid. I can also be okay with one where the dad does. I can be okay with all the different varieties of ways people end up together or have children together because that is life.

Filed under: romance

The Blueprint

From here on out, you’ll find me posting here on Mondays. Catchup posts, posts about my books/WIPs, thoughts on the romance genre etc.

On Fridays you can find me talking about my experiences as a published author over at the From Fact to Fiction blog.

Once a month (approx), I’ll also have a post over at the Entangled Indulgence blog. (My January post is up today).

I think this is a reasonable posting schedule that will allow me to keep up with my writing schedule and, well, I’m just better with a schedule.

This week, I’m hoping to start in earnest my newest WIP–a book connected to the book I just sold to Samhain. I’m also hoping to get some news regarding my upcoming releases.

But scariest of all, we’re starting potty training with my oldest. (Hold me)

Filed under: life, What I'm Up To

The 2013 Goal Machine

Happy 2013!

I always like starting a new year, making new goals, and getting back to “normal” after the craziness of the holidays.

Of course, with two little boys (three if you count the husband), things are always crazy around here.

I have two main focuses for 2013. Ideas as much as goals I want to work toward.

First, career. In 2011 I sold my first book, in 2012 I sold two more, so I’m hoping 2013 continues to yield more success. I had one release last year and I’m guessing/hoping I’ll have two releases this year.

So, writing wise, career wise, my goals are pretty specific.

1. Write 4-5 books.

2. Sell 3 books.

3. Go to the RWA conference.

Just three goals, which leads me to my second focus for 2013. Simplicity.

In December, I had a long list of writing goals, but most of my problems come from excess. Too much sugar, too many things cluttering my house, too much time on Twitter, etc. So, 2013 is all about simplicity. No long lists, no going overboard. Streamline, cut back, simplify.

So, my life goals are kind of broad.

1. Cut back on processed foods.

2. Cut back on things/clutter. Don’t be afraid to toss things we don’t need.

3. Focus on one thing at a time. (In other words don’t be making dinner, organizing papers, checking twitter, and talking on the phone all at the same time).

So, those are my goals as we enter a new year. What are some of yours?

Filed under: life, What I'm Up To, writing

New Sale! And a Motivational Speech of Sorts

Since I signed the contract this morning, I’m sharing my news! My novel, now titled Flight Risk will be published with Samhain Publishing.

I am so excited about this for many reasons, but mainly it is a testament to the age old advice to never give up.

Every book I’ve had contracted has both been rejected and not finaled in contests before it was finally accepted. Sometimes that meant self-imposed revisions, sometimes it meant believing that particular story just wasn’t right for that particular editor/publisher/agent. Flight Risk is no different.

Prior to submitting this book to Samhain, I had previously submitted two manuscripts to them over the course of the past few years. Both were rejected. (One of them being the story I later sold to Entangled Indulgence). I didn’t stop submitting to Samhain because they were a publisher with whom I wanted to work. I simply kept trying to get better, and when I felt I had a good story, submitted it.

Flight Risk first entered the world with a first chapter for the inaugural New Voices competition. In this scene, my heroine got into a bar fight and the hero broke it up. The feedback was not good. I guess a lot of people don’t like heroines getting into bar fights right off the bat?

I rewrote the story, took out the bar fight, then entered it in the inaugural So You Think You Can Write competition. It got nowhere, but I did receive some feedback, which led me to rewrite the entire thing again.

Then, I let it sit. I’d come back to it, fiddle with it, occasionally entering it in pitch competitions or little contests, but mainly I loved the story so much and wasn’t sure it was a rejection I could handle well, so I didn’t submit.

After a few months of that, a publisher with whom I’d wanted to work had a submissions call and my story fit the bill. I submitted. And waited. And waited. Weeks after their submission window ended. My hopes were getting high.

And then I got a form rejection.

It was gutting. After the amount of time that had passed I was sure–SURE–I would at least get some feedback, but I didn’t, and it was hard to swallow. I was ready to throw the manuscript back in the bowels of my computer, except I couldn’t.

I’d rewritten this story completely three times. I’d revised and agonized and worked with my CP and had friends read it. I knew in my bones this was a good story. Perhaps it didn’t fit that publisher, but I believed it was good and it had to fit somewhere.

So, I subbed to Samhain that same week of the rejection. And waited and waited and waited, and then got the email they wanted to contract it early this month and was so glad I hadn’t given up. Not on the story, not on subbing to Samhain.

When people tell you rejection isn’t personal, it’s true. When people say rejection doesn’t always mean your story is bad, it’s true. If you’re continually striving to be a better writer, if you’re willing to work hard and make changes and not always get your way, keep writing. Keep submitting.

Don’t Give Up. Rejection is not the end.

Filed under: publishing, romance, Samhain, writing

Best Reads of 2012

I have three books that made my Best Of the Best Romance shelf on Goodreads this year.

Bring Him Home by Karina Bliss. I have gone on and on about this book, but it was probably the best book I read this year. It broke my heart in every possible way, then put it back together. I bawled my way through it.

Suddenly You by Sarah Mayberry. I want to be Sarah Mayberry when I grow up. Real, sweet, funny. A swoony, yummy, realistic romance about two everyday people doing everyday things.

Can’t Hurry Love by Molly O’Keefe. I should hate Victoria, and Eli for that matter, but O’Keefe somehow makes them not only redeemable, but she also makes you actively root for them. The writing in this book is one hundred percent top notch. And the romance is exactly what love is. Hard. HARD. And worth it.

Honorable Mentions:

I read my first erotic romance this year. Curio by Cara McKenna was a really beautiful read and a great intro to the genre. I plan on reading the rest of the series as soon as possible.

I also really enjoyed books by Jill Shalvis (stumbled upon the Wilder series–loved! And At Last was probably my favorite Lucky Harbor), Ruthie Knox (Ride With Me and About Last Night both have great heroes), and the first in Molly O’Keefe’s Crooked Ranch series, Can’t Buy Me Love (gritty, fascinating, excellent writing).

I’m hoping to get a few gift cards for book buying next week, and I have quite a few 2012 books I still want to buy. But, this is where I’m at as of today.

Going to take a blog break for the holidays, Oldest’s birthday, and seeing old friends. I’ll be back January 7th with regular (biweekly) writing.

(I may pop in before then to share some news if I can. Otherwise…)

See you next year!

Filed under: Friday Reads, romance

2012 Goals Met

So, as of a few days ago I met and EXCEEDED all my 2012 writing goals. Goals are one of those things that kept me going through rejection. Knowing I wanted to accomplish specific things kept me focused. I love goals, daily, weekly, monthly, yearly. There are few things as satisfying as looking back and saying…yeah, I DID that.

Below is my goals list copied from my goal post last year. In bold, the results.

1. Finish 2-3 novels. Since Baby #2 is due in just two months, I think going for 4 would be a bit much to ask. I’d love to get there, but I’m not going to hold myself to it. Kids and sleep will be coming first for a while.

I wrote 3 novels this year. 1 single title (80k) and two category (both around 55kish). I’m quite proud of this accomplishment, especially since I also completed numerous rounds of revisions on my Indulgence before and after I signed the contract.

2. Develop a marketing plan for All’s Fair in Love & Politics before its release in May.

I had a plan. Was it successful? Not really. But that’s okay. It was my first release and I learned a lot from what I did and didn’t do.

3. Sell another book.

Exceeded this goal! I sold to Indulgence this summer, and have a contract offer on another as of last week (more details to come once contract is signed, sealed, delivered). Ironically, they’re both set on small airports in the middle of nowhere. They’re quite different though, and so are the stories in them.

4. Join RWA (which I will be accomplishing in a few days with the help of some Christmas money).

Did it! Will be doing it again (and going to the conference!)

5. Continue to develop my blog to be a marketing tool for my writing.

I’m definitely not there yet. But I contemplated this and I’ve made some strides. I hope to continue to do so in 2013.

Non-Writing Goals for 2012 (this is where things get dicey)

1. Get into some level of physical fitness after Baby #2 is born. Like, enough that I could go on a backpacking trip with Hubby and not get left in his dust.

Well, I weigh less than I did before I got pregnant with #1, so that’s something. In shape and backpacking? Yeah, not so much.



2. Read 50 books. (I came close this year).

I’m at 46. Tossup if I’ll be able to add 4 more.

3. Make better use of our CSA portion this year.

Yay! Totally did this. Sad we won’t be able to afford it next year, but there is a really good farmer’s market close to our house now, so hopefully we can keep supporting local farmers.

4. Watch less TV.

Done! Not difficult. Probably because I now spend way too much time on the Internet.

5. Find a better, more organized filing system that works continuously. (This has been a perpetual resolution since I moved in with Hubby 6ish years ago. I’m still searching).

The search continues.

I’ll be posting my 2013 goals some time next week.

Filed under: life, writing

I Do Exist!

Hi there! Remember me?

I have some excuses for not posting since October (having something to do with two ER visits/hospital stays for my oldest, four trips to the doctor (my youngest made an appearance in that one), and wrangling antibiotics into both), but mainly I’ve been wondering what I really want to do with this space. I like to blog, but I hate to waste my time.

Conundrum.

I know it’s a little early to start talking about resolutions, but as 2012 barrels to a close, I’m starting to think what I want this space to be in 2013. I don’t have an answer yet, but it’s going onto my list of 2013 goals.

Figure out what to do on the blog.

I’ve got some posts scheduled for the rest of December (including an update on some exciting writing news to share hopefully later this week). I’ll be here. And if you’re here, drop a comment about what you like to see on author’s blogs. I’m all ears (and feeling more and more comfortable with calling myself an author).

Filed under: life, What I'm Up To

Out and About

I’ve been quiet here for a while (waiting on a lot of things, so not much happening beyond, you know, writing and living). BUT, I am over at the Indulgence Blog today talking about revisions if you caI toto pop over.

Filed under: Entangled, publishing, Seven Night Stand