Phillip T. Stephens's Blog: Wind Eggs, page 26

Business, Business: Author Resources

I spent the last couple of weeks combing through Goodreads posts looking for review sites for my new eNovel Cigerets, Guns & Beer by Phillip T Stephens available on Amazon, Nook and iBooks

Dodd breaks up a convenience store robbery on his way through the tiny Texas town of Sweet Water Falls Texas. What’s the thanks he gets? The sheriff won’t let him leave, the car lot can’t find the parts for his vintage Mustang and he seems caught in a rivalry between women looking for some new blood.

It seems a family named Dodd were killed robbing the bank in the forties and a half million dollars was never found. Everyone thinks Dodd returned to find the missing money and no one intends to let him leave until he recovers the missing money and maybe, just maybe, a long lost flying saucer.

During that time I compiled a list of the book review sites that are still active or at least on hiatus but might become active again. I broke them down by major genre so you don’t have to spend quite so much time culling out the sources as I did and I weeded out the sites where it was impossible to find a contact link.

I can’t guarantee any success, many have not responded to me and one was so rude as to suggest my book could’t be worth reviewing because I misspelled the title (as if I didn’t know or that spell check wouldn’t have stared me in the face all the time I wrote it).

But hopefully this will save you some of the work I had to do.

I repeated listings for each genre where they applied. And there may be the occasional duplicate.


Writers' Resources

Update August 30 2015
Rayne Hall author of Storm Dancer and too many excellent writers' resouce books to count provided a link to Ralan Sci Fi and Humor Webstravaganza. I haven't had a chance to explore all of the links and resources myself, but if she says it's a good resource, I trust her. You should also make use of her books. I've been writing and editing for thirty years and I still think her books make good and inexpensive references.

Update August 20 2015
The Author Promo Coop started on Goodreads and has moved to Facebook, This is a group of Indie Authors who promote each others work and will offer reviews on their web sites. I highly recommend membership. They exchange tips and throw booster parties for the most active members

https://www.facebook.com/groups/16059...

Update Feb. 19, 2015
This is a list of paid promo sites I ran across on Twitter. I can’t vouch for them, but you might want to check them out.
http://www.readersintheknow.com/list-...

eBook Planet
http://www.ebookplanet2014.com/#!join...
This site has three diffent paid plans from $35 to $50 that include reviews and tweets for a month plus a listing for a year.

realm of the geek
http://www.realmofthegeek.com
Like eBook Planet for sci-fi/fantasy with paid plans from $17 to $29
http://www.realmofthegeek.com/#!join-...


Indie Author News
http://IndieAuthorNews.com
They may promote your book on their site but it looks like they want you to pay for advertising first. You will need to fill out the contact form to find out.
http://www.indieauthornews.com/p/prom...
end update


http://netgalley.com/
Kind of like good reads but they also hit you up to pay
$400 for a six month promo
$600 for a year

Whizbuzz
http://www.derekhaines.ch/whizbuzz/
Twitter marketing for your book 12 months for $59

http://theindiespotlight.com/
Indie author promotion sight. Charges five dollars to promote your book on site.
Uses paypal and a standardized form. I think it’s worth it.
http://www.theindiespotlight.com/?pag...

http://indiereader.com/
Paid reviews $225
http://indiereader.com/authorservices...

http://launchthebook.com
Helps you custom design a web site to promote your books
This could cost serious money

http://www.indieauthoranonymous.com
Three packages from $5-$20 to have your book posted and reviewed
http://indieauthoranonymous.com/adver...

author resource sites
http://www.bookdaily.com
http://www.worldliterarycafe.com
https://www.smashwords.com


All Genres

http://prairiefirereview.com
Reads in cycles of ten and picks three to review
Fiction (we do not have the resources to fact-check non-fiction)
At least 30,000 words
Available as ebooks (you must give us a version we can read on a kindle or iPad)
Finished (we are not an editing service)
Available for download online (whether for free or otherwise)
At this time we are not reviewing religious fiction or erotica
http://prairiefirereview.com/how-to-s...

http://thestoryreadingapeblog.com
This is an author promotion site so be prepared to provide information about yourself and your books.
http://thestoryreadingapeblog.com/con...

http://jolasbookshelf.wordpress.com
Mainly fantasy and mystery but open to every genre.
jolada2@gmail.com

http://triciakristufek.com
Mostly romance but she does read other stuff
Not accepting now but she looks like she will open up before some of the others.
Contact link on home page.

http://workadayreads.com
Suspending solicitations as of July 2014
http://workadayreads.com/policies/rev...

http://www.thebookishowl.net
The basic genres I accept are YA, Historical Fiction, Historical Non-Fiction and Middlegrade. As for the sub-genres, I accept contemporary, steampunk, mystery and suspense or thriller.
http://www.thebookishowl.net/?page_id...

http://viktoriamichaelis.com
Writes erotic fiction, says she will review most fiction
Requires a contact form
http://viktoriamichaelis.com/contact-me/


http://thesaucyreviewer.wordpress.com...
Fiction, romance, suspense-thriller
http://thesaucyreviewer.wordpress.com...

http://booksiesblog.blogspot.com
Prefers print books
skirkland@triad.rr.com

https://coffee2words.wordpress.com
I’ll pretty much read and review anything. Poetry, horror, romance, action, science fiction etc. I only ask that you send me completed pieces of work and that they are in English.
On Hiatus as of April 2014, but the contact page is active
https://coffee2words.wordpress.com/re...


http://www.gotfiction.com
Contemporary Romance, Historical Romance, Paranormal Romance, Erotic Romance, Historical PNR, &; Urban Fantasy.But we have branched out and will consider ANYTHING fiction; including YA and New Adult.
http://www.gotfiction.com/review-requ...

http://ashleysbookshelf.blogspot.com/
I review most types of books from Children's books to Adult. I do not review horror, erotic, or gay romance.
http://ashleysbookshelf.blogspot.com/...

http://booksandpals.blogspot.com
http://booksandpals.blogspot.com/p/su...

http://bookdout.wordpress.com
General Fiction, Womens Fiction /Chick Lit, Cosy Mystery, Psychological Thriller/Suspense, Murder & Mystery, Crime, Police procedural, Humor, Supernatural /Urban Fantasy
welcome Australian authors
https://bookdout.wordpress.com/would-...

http://www.iheartreading.net
paranormal romance and mystery novels, ghost stories, fantasy novels (ranging from epic to urban fantasy and every genre in between), gothic horror. Some horror, crime and suspense novels.
http://www.iheartreading.net/review-p...

http://cloverhillbookreviews.blogspot...
Not reviewing as of 1/2013
Publishers and mainstream only
young adult titles, paranormal, crime novels, mysteries, thrillers, romances, fantasy, coming of age novels, and anything in between
http://cloverhillbookreviews.blogspot...

http://mybookgoggles.blogspot.com
urban fantasy, anthropological thrillers, mysteries, and anything along the lines of James Rollins
Not reviewing currently
http://mybookgoggles.blogspot.com/p/c...

http://www.papermustang.com
supports indie authors but on hiatus as of september 2014
http://www.papermustang.com/p/contact...


http://popcornreads.com
Will review indie and self-published novels as long as they are available on mainstream distribution site. Pay attention to guidelines.
http://popcornreads.com/author-publis...

http://www.sciencethrillers.com
Books must directly address the use of science in the development of the plot.
Reviewer contact on site.

http://thebookhookup.com/
Indie and self published: Limited reviews
Paranormal
Urban Fantasy
Dark Fantasy
Romance
Contemporary Fiction
Historical Romance
Young Adult
New Adult
http://thebookhookup.com/review-policy/

http://thenewpodlerreviews.blogspot.com/
Small Press and Indie
Closed as of Dec 2014 but will reopen
http://thenewpodlerreviews.blogspot.c...

http://www.thewritetomakealiving.com/
reads at her pleasure, fiction almost only
http://www.thewritetomakealiving.com/...

http://tomesofthesoul.blogspot.com
Fairly eclectic but hasn’t reviewed recently
requires kindle copy
http://tomesofthesoul.blogspot.com/p/...


http://webbweaver-zelda555.blogspot.com/
suspense, horror, paranormal, sci-fi, mystery, thriller, romance, historical fiction, medical fiction, and combinations of these
closed to reviews since 12/2013 but may reopen

http://www.kindleobsessed.com
Closed for submissions for now.
http://www.kindleobsessed.com/review-...

http://www.milorambles.com
Indie and mainstream
I had to use a Facebook message
http://www.milorambles.com/submission...

http://jessicawrenfiction.com
Said on a kindle forum that she will review Kindle eBooks.
That’s the only thing I can say.

http://mrsgiggles.com
active and busy mostly romance.
“I prefer to review things on my own whims and accord, but you can always ask. I’d probably reply saying I’m too busy, unless what you are telling me sound like something I don’t come across regularly.”
http://mrsgiggles.com/home/contact/

http://thebookbuff.blogspot.com/
Seems to accept all genres but hasn’t posted since 1/13
http://thebookbuff.blogspot.com/p/rev...

http://thebookstew.blogspot.com/
May not be posting any longer, but says he reads anything.
Rob McMonigal
trebro@gmail.com

http://thenovelblog.com/index.aspx
http://thenovelblog.com/tnbContact.aspx
submissions@thenovelblog.com

http://thesecretwriterblog.blogspot.com/
Not accepting reviews as of 12/2014
http://thesecretwriterblog.blogspot.c...

http://alternative-read.com
CALL FOR AUTHOR BLOG CONTRIBUTORS! *ALL GENRES*
Want to be a author on this blog and promote your work (for free) to a ready made audience? Contact us!
We are opening this blog up to authors to write blog posts, share book excerpts, 1st chapters, new releases and giveaways. Book news!
Angelika.Devlyn@gmail.com

http://redadeptreviews.com/
m/m romance, gay romance, paranormal, mysteries & more
Currently closed to submissions 12/2014
http://redadeptreviews.com/submission...

Kate Policani http://katepolicanisreviews.wordpress...
Seems to read everything
http://katepolicanisreviews.wordpress...

http://lockeight.blogspot.com
I enjoy literary fiction, historical fiction, mysteries and thrillers
http://lockeight.blogspot.com/p/conta...

http://www.chaitime212.blogspot.com
Mysteries (especially historical and murder mysteries/women sleuths)
Thrillers
Romances (historical as well as paranormal)
Fantasy
Action and Adventure
Mythology (especially Greek)
Books by Indian authors/set in India
Medical fiction and non-fiction (i.e. Complications by Atul Gawande)
http://www.chaitime212.blogspot.com/p...
http://www.chaitime212.blogspot.com/p...
(Hasn’t posted since March 2014)

Romance

http://www.littleblackbookblog.com
The books they review seem to be more in the category of what guys would call chick lit than romance. But that’s because I just glanced through the site.
http://www.littleblackbookblog.com/p/...

http://readinginthewindowseat.blogspo...
romance, fantasy, sci fi, horror
http://readinginthewindowseat.blogspo...

http://www.babsbookbistro.net/blog/
Cozy Mysteries
Romance
Western romance
Historical Romance
http://www.babsbookbistro.net/media-k...
Babsbookbistro@gmail.com

http://bookslikebreathing.blogspot.com/
romance, YA, chicklit
http://bookslikebreathing.blogspot.co...

http://notwhileimreading.blogspot.com
Seems to prefer fantasy and historical romance
http://notwhileimreading.blogspot.com...

http://dearauthor.com
The site is primarily devoted to the romance genre.
http://dearauthor.com/for-authors/

http://www.pageflipperz.blogspot.com
Print
fantasy romance
http://www.pageflipperz.blogspot.com/...


http://thesaucyreviewer.wordpress.com...
Fiction, romance, suspense-thriller
http://thesaucyreviewer.wordpress.com...


http://reading-romances.com
Historical Romance, Contemporary Romance, Erotic Romance*, Paranormal Romance.
http://reading-romances.com/review-po...

http://murphyslibrary.com
Mostly romance and dark fantasy
currently closed for review as of 2/14
http://www.murphyslibrary.com/reviews...

http://sooozsaysstuff.blogspot.com/
seems to be romance and fantasy
you might be able to contact through
Suzannah Burke on Facebook

http://thebookvixen.com/
Contemporary Romance to Paranormal Romance, and everything in between. The smuttier, the better.

Most of the books we read and review come from solicited requests we initiate (usually via NetGalley and Edelweiss or to publishers and authors directly), our personal shelves, and/or the library.
http://www.thebookvixen.com/p/review-... (click on the request form link)

http://theromancereviews.com/
Exclusively romance novels
http://www.theromancereviews.com/requ...

http://twoendsofthepen.blogspot.com/
Romance and dark fantasy
currently closed for review
http://twoendsofthepen.blogspot.com/p...


Fantasy

http://shadowkissedcassie.blogspot.com
No longer blogs but posts reviews on other sites:
Paranormal Romance
Young Adult
Fantasy/Sci-Fi
Horror
Historical Fiction
Mythology/ Astrology
http://shadowkissedcassie.blogspot.co...

http://annaslibrary.tumblr.com
It’s hard to tell what she likes, but it seems to be dark fantasy/mystery.
She will only read free copies.
The only way to contact is a comment box so I can’t guarantee success.
http://annaslibrary.tumblr.com/ask

http://mostlyreviews.blogspot.com
young adult, fantasy, horror and just everything with paranormal, [no mermaids]
http://mostlyreviews.blogspot.gr/p/re...

http://jolasbookshelf.wordpress.com
Mainly fantasy and mystery but open to every genre.
jolada2@gmail.com

http://readinginthewindowseat.blogspo...
romance, fantasy, sci fi, horror
http://readinginthewindowseat.blogspo...


http://tmycann.wordpress.com/
Seems to be fantasy. Leave a comment on her review page.
http://www.tmycann.com/review-policy

http://soulunsung.blogspot.com/
women’s YA and Urban Fantasy
No eBooks
http://soulunsung.blogspot.ca/p/polic...

http://www.booksforcompany.com
YA, Romance and Paranormal, Fantasy, Dystopian.
http://www.booksforcompany.com/p/revi...
UK

http://notwhileimreading.blogspot.com
Seems to prefer fantasy and historical romance
http://notwhileimreading.blogspot.com...

http://everythingtodowithbooks.blogsp...
The fiction genres reviewed here are:
Urban fantasy
Fantasy
Mystery
Thriller
Horror
Comedy
http://everythingtodowithbooks.blogsp...

http://fantasybookcritic.blogspot.com
Fantasy, Science Fiction, Horror, YA/Children’s Books and other Speculative Fiction. We gladly accept review queries from publishers large, small and independent as well as self-published authors. Both print and electronic formats are accepted.
http://fantasybookcritic.blogspot.com...

http://flyingwithredhaircrow.wordpres...
PREFERRED: Science fiction, fantasy (all ranges speculative, etc.), historical fiction, historical fantasy.
ACCEPTED: Many genres, fiction or non-fiction, poetry, essays on a case-by-case basis.

Currently closed to requests but check back
https://flyingwithredhaircrow.wordpre...

http://murphyslibrary.com
Mostly romance and dark fantasy
currently closed for review as of 2/14
http://www.murphyslibrary.com/reviews...

http://podpeep.blogspot.com/
Sci-fi and fantasy. Highly selective. Should have a pitch to one of the reviewers.
http://podpeep.blogspot.com/p/how-to-...
http://sooozsaysstuff.blogspot.com/
seems to be romance and fantasy
you might be able to contact through
Suzannah Burke on Facebook

http://thedarkphantom.wordpress.com/
Dark fantasy
http://thedarkphantom.wordpress.com/y...

http://twoendsofthepen.blogspot.com/
Romance and dark fantasy
currently closed for review
http://twoendsofthepen.blogspot.com/p...

http://thecanaryreview.wordpress.com/
Fantasy, Science Fiction
http://thecanaryreview.wordpress.com/...

http://everythingstemporary.com/podca...
This is a podcast
I am currently looking for YA/NA fantasy, urban fantasy, or paranormal fiction.
Submission guidelines and contact info on page.

http://readwritelove28.com/
Seems to like fantasy and romance
follow the contact link

http://andypeloquin.com
Fantasy (MY PREFERRED GENRE)
Sci-Fi (Less-So)
Dystopian
Speculative Fiction
Good Mysteries/Thrillers
http://andypeloquin.com/book-reviews/


Sci Fi

http://shadowkissedcassie.blogspot.com
No longer blogs but posts reviews on other sites:
Paranormal Romance
Young Adult
Fantasy/Sci-Fi
Horror
Historical Fiction
Mythology/ Astrology
http://shadowkissedcassie.blogspot.co...

http://www.booksforcompany.com
YA, Romance and Paranormal, Fantasy, Dystopian.
http://www.booksforcompany.com/p/revi...
(UK)

http://indiebookblogger.blogspot.com
Primarily sci fi but he says he’ll look at other genres
http://indiebookblogger.blogspot.com/...


http://readinginthewindowseat.blogspo...
romance, fantasy, sci fi, horror
http://readinginthewindowseat.blogspo...

http://csfantasyreviews.blogspot.com/
fantasy only
all.hail.king.sparrky@gmail.com

http://fantasybookcritic.blogspot.com
Fantasy, Science Fiction, Horror, YA/Children’s Books and other Speculative Fiction. We gladly accept review queries from publishers large, small and independent as well as self-published authors. Both print and electronic formats are accepted.
http://fantasybookcritic.blogspot.com...

http://flyingwithredhaircrow.wordpres...
PREFERRED: Science fiction, fantasy (all ranges speculative, etc.), historical fiction, historical fantasy.
ACCEPTED: Many genres, fiction or non-fiction, poetry, essays on a case-by-case basis.

Currently closed to requests but check back
https://flyingwithredhaircrow.wordpre...

http://podpeep.blogspot.com/
Sci-fi and fantasy. Highly selective. Should have a pitch to one of the reviewers.
http://podpeep.blogspot.com/p/how-to-...

http://thecanaryreview.wordpress.com/
Fantasy, Science Fiction
http://thecanaryreview.wordpress.com/...

http://rainydayramblings.typepad.com/
Currently closed
Only printed books
Paranormal/Supernatural genre both adult and young adult
http://rainydayramblings.typepad.com/...

http://andypeloquin.com
Fantasy (MY PREFERRED GENRE)
Sci-Fi (Less-So)
Dystopian
Speculative Fiction
Good Mysteries/Thrillers
http://andypeloquin.com/book-reviews/

http://lazybookreviewer.blogspot.com.au
no details given
contact link to form on page


Mystery/Suspense

http://jolasbookshelf.wordpress.com
Mainly fantasy and mystery but open to every genre.
jolada2@gmail.com


http://www.babsbookbistro.net/blog/
Cozy Mysteries
Romance
Western romance
Historical Romance
http://www.babsbookbistro.net/media-k...
Babsbookbistro@gmail.com


http://bookhoundsden.blogspot.com/
Not currently reviewing
Crime, mystery and thrillers. Have specific guideline
http://bookhoundsden.blogspot.com/p/r...

http://readitreviewit.wordpress.com/
Mystery, Crime Thrillers, YA, Paranormal, Horror, Psychological Thrillers.
http://readitreviewit.wordpress.com/c...

http://everythingtodowithbooks.blogsp...
The fiction genres reviewed here are:
Urban fantasy
Fantasy
Mystery
Thriller
Horror
Comedy
http://everythingtodowithbooks.blogsp...

http://lockeight.blogspot.com
I enjoy literary fiction, historical fiction, mysteries and thrillers
http://lockeight.blogspot.com/p/conta...

http://andypeloquin.com
Fantasy (MY PREFERRED GENRE)
Sci-Fi (Less-So)
Dystopian
Speculative Fiction
Good Mysteries/Thrillers
http://andypeloquin.com/book-reviews/


Horror

http://shadowkissedcassie.blogspot.com
No longer blogs but posts reviews on other sites:
Paranormal Romance
Young Adult
Fantasy/Sci-Fi
Horror
Historical Fiction
Mythology/ Astrology
http://shadowkissedcassie.blogspot.co...


http://readitreviewit.wordpress.com/
Mystery, Crime Thrillers, YA, Paranormal, Horror, Psychological Thrillers.
http://readitreviewit.wordpress.com/c...

http://readinginthewindowseat.blogspo...
romance, fantasy, sci fi, horror
http://readinginthewindowseat.blogspo...

http://mostlyreviews.blogspot.com
young adult, fantasy, horror and just everything with paranormal, [no mermaids]
http://mostlyreviews.blogspot.gr/p/re...

http://everythingtodowithbooks.blogsp...
The fiction genres reviewed here are:
Urban fantasy
Fantasy
Mystery
Thriller
Horror
Comedy
http://everythingtodowithbooks.blogsp...


http://fantasybookcritic.blogspot.com
Fantasy, Science Fiction, Horror, YA/Children’s Books and other Speculative Fiction. We gladly accept review queries from publishers large, small and independent as well as self-published authors. Both print and electronic formats are accepted.
http://fantasybookcritic.blogspot.com...


Young Adult

http://shadowkissedcassie.blogspot.com
No longer blogs but posts reviews on other sites:
Paranormal Romance
Young Adult
Fantasy/Sci-Fi
Horror
Historical Fiction
Mythology/ Astrology
http://shadowkissedcassie.blogspot.co...

http://www.thoughtsandroses.blogspot.com
Print only except eBooks through netgalley
http://www.thoughtsandroses.blogspot....

http://soulunsung.blogspot.com/
women’s YA and Urban Fantasy
No eBooks
http://soulunsung.blogspot.ca/p/polic...

http://www.booksforcompany.com
YA, Romance and Paranormal, Fantasy, Dystopian.
http://www.booksforcompany.com/p/revi...
UK

http://mostlyreviews.blogspot.com
young adult, fantasy, horror and just everything with paranormal, [no mermaids]
http://mostlyreviews.blogspot.gr/p/re...


http://bookslikebreathing.blogspot.com/
romance, YA, chicklit
http://bookslikebreathing.blogspot.co...

http://readitreviewit.wordpress.com/
Mystery, Crime Thrillers, YA, Paranormal, Horror, Psychological Thrillers.
http://readitreviewit.wordpress.com/c...

http://fantasybookcritic.blogspot.com
Fantasy, Science Fiction, Horror, YA/Children’s Books and other Speculative Fiction. We gladly accept review queries from publishers large, small and independent as well as self-published authors. Both print and electronic formats are accepted.
http://fantasybookcritic.blogspot.com...

http://consumethosebooks.blogspot.com/
Been inactive, but claims he’s starting back up
Young Adult
zbnntt@gmail.com

lenahillbrand.blogspot.com/p/book-rev...
The only way I could find to contact was to message on Facebookhttp://
https://www.facebook.com/LenaHillbrand

http://www.iturnthepages.blogspot.com
My preferred genre is Young Adult or Teen.
I specifically love Dystopian or Utopian novels, like The Hunger Games or Divergent
I also love fantasy novels like the Harry Potter Series.
http://www.iturnthepages.blogspot.com...

This might give you more resources than I was willing to explore:
http://yabookblogdirectory.blogspot.c...




Comics

http://panelpatter.blogspot.com/
comics of any genre
http://www.panelpatter.com/p/review-r...

Initialization

I made two New Year’s resolutions for 2015:

1. Start my Goodread’s blog to promote my newest novel Cigerets, Guns & Beer available on Amazon, Nook and iBooks.

2. Start being honest with readers about my life.

The second resolution was prompted by an entry I’m writing for a blog called The Story Reading Ape because, quite frankly, I hate writing personal details about myself. My book biographies should make that plain. For instance, this is my bio for Cigerets, Guns & Beer:

“Phillip T. Stephens is a mythological character who evolved from a spin-off cult of the Church of the Subgenius called Our Lady of the Lady of the Lord of the Subtransgender in the late 1970s. In Subtransgender mythology Stephens was Bob Dobbs sidekick who dreamed of surpassing Dodds as the universe’s top salesman. In order to do so, he sold the Xists on plans to convert the earth to transgender only condos, which would, in essence, put a kibosh on the entire Subgenius sales pitch. Needless to say this subjected Stephens to the wrath of Bob who short sold all of Stephens’ shares in America Online, causing the recession of 2000 and reducing Stephens into a clone of Pewee Herman. Many followers believe Stephens can now be seen as Jim Parsons on the Big Bang Theory with no awareness of who he truly is, but they are, of course, completely misguided.

“The Church of the Subgenius in no way acknowledges Our Lady of the Lady of the Lord of the Subtransgender, or the existence of the author himself for that matter.”

Clearly, you will probably sense a small degree of exaggeration here. But, as I explain in the Story Reading Ape, my shyness came at a young age.

I was a pitiful child born to an itinerant Baptist minister who was himself the son of an itinerant Baptist minister who was also the son of an itinerant Baptist minister who fled from Europe to avoid persecution at the hand of his father who was a prominent Catholic Bishop who was the son of a Pope.

As you might guess I was raised on table scraps and dogma, with no social skills whatsoever. This meant I was too shy to introduce myself to girls and victimized by the jocks in gym class who laughed at the Bible I was required by my faith to carry in my gym shorts underneath my jock strap so I wouldn’t be tempted to evil.

The girls would laugh as they chased me naked from the shower into the girls’ locker room, naked and clutching my Bible to my jewels, the one thing I was man enough to keep the jocks from taking away. But that didn’t stop my father from a Biblical tongue lashing every night at home, flaying my conscience with verse after verse about honoring thy father and modesty and plucking my eye out to avoid temptation.

Dinner at my home consisted of chipped beef on toast while my parents would pick pages from the Bible at random and make me recite the third verse down. At family gatherings everyone would argue whether Jesus drank real wine that was spiritualized by God so that the alcohol wouldn't make him drunk, or if he turned it into grape juice first; whether Jesus was God from the moment he was conceived or the moment the Holy Ghost descended on him at his Baptism; whether the disciples were saved from the moment they chose to follow Jesus as his disciples, after Jesus was crucified, after he was raised from the dead or only after he ascended into heaven.

We were taught to read the Bible with kid gloves, turning each page tenderly at the tip so as not to damage it, because this was the Word of God. This was His Living Presence on Earth where He Physically Dwealt Among Us. To damage the scripture was tantamount to damaging God (although that wasn’t a possibility we discussed openly because it would lead to a contradiction with the belief that God is All Powerful). Our Bibles were as pristine as they were the day we purchased them.

My parents were members of the Disciples of Christ Redeemed in Blood, my grandparents members of the more liberal Disciples of Christ Redeemed, one uncle was a member of the Disciples of the Risen Christ Redeemed, another of the Saints of the Risen Christ Redeemed by the Holy Sacrifice.

To get away from the arguments, and the family, I would hide in my bedroom and read the comic books I hid in my closet, stories of Superman and Batman, Spiderman and my favorite heroes, the Fantastic Four. I wanted to be Sue Storm, not because I felt like I was a woman inside, but because she could turn herself invisible at will.

Sue Storm used her invisibility to fight the forces of evil. I never really considered my family to be the forces of evil, I just wanted to hide from them. You see, all that arguing about the minutiae of the Holy Scripture made me hate my faith and doubt it too.

I had the first issues of the Fantastic Four, the Hulk and Spiderman in my closet and I treated them as gingerly as I treated the Bible. I didn’t know this was considered keeping them in collectable condition at the time.

Then, in junior high, I met like minded friends, Steven Emory, Wulf Eldrid and Paul Lyons (nicknamed Cubby) who loved comics as much as me. We would meet after school and discuss the comic books and one afternoon it started. The arguments. Cubby would insist Superman’s heat vision would incinerate the sun, Steve would insist it would merely be absorbed into the surface. Steve would insist Reed Ricard’s arms would simply continue to stretch on the other planet if warped through the Enterprise’ transporter beam; Wulf insisted they would be disintegrated. Then it would get gross: Steve was convinced Superman could have sex with Lois Lane (something I had never thought about); Wulf said his sperm would shoot out the back of her skull (the thought made me shudder). Cubby was convinced Reed Richard’s penis would disappear when he had sex with Sue Storm; Wulf was convinced she would twist like a pretzel around it. After that they would argue over who was greatest: Superman or the Hulk, Captain America or Batman, the Justice League or the Avengers?

The more they sounded like my family the more I realized that Jesus was a lot more believable than Superman and these guys were arguing just as much over Superman. What a blow to my faith.

But next to the comics stand at my local drugstore was a stand for paperback books and when the price for comics went from a dime to 12 cents, I could get a book for only twice the price. And books had sex and a lot more violence. Mickey Spillane, Elmore Leonard, Philip K. Dick, thick books like Shogun by James Clavell and a wonderful mind fuck of a science fiction book called Out of the Mouth of the Dragon by Mark S. Geston that rewired my brain forever.

By the time I got to high school I was doubly cursed. Girls no more wanted to date guys who could quote scripture at random than they wanted to date guys who could argue whether Superman could have safe sex or would blow out the back of a girl’s skull. Much less the guy who would get pounded in gym class because his religion required him to wear his Bible (this again may seem a little contradictory considering the fact that we were supposed to keep our Bibles in pristine condition, but these were tiny Bibles and we wrapped them in cellophane, which was much cheaper than the traditional lamb skin). Day after day I suffered through teenage girl giggles and jokes about what I was “packing in my pants.”

So you can see why I would rather lock myself in a room and write fictional stories than actually expose my tender psyche to readers who might mock me and expose me once again as I was exposed as a child.

It took more more than forty years after I graduated from high school to overcome that shyness to finally take one of those stories, Cigerets, Guns & Beer available on Amazon, Nook and iBooks, and publish it as an eBook. So I finally achieved my first New Year’s resolution.

As to my second, I’ll have to work on it.