Morgan L. Busse's Blog, page 22

God and Santa Claus

You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I’m telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town.

My children were watching the old claymation Santa Claus is Coming to Town the other night. As I listened to the story and heard the song, something struck me. I found myself grateful God isn’t like Santa Claus.

Haha! Funny, right? Look at the lyrics. You better do this. You better not do that. Why? Because Santa is coming!

I have a suspicion that Santa was a means for parents to get their children to behave. “Susie, if you keep throwing a fit, Santa won’t bring you anything this year.” “Tommy, if you hit your sister again, Santa won’t bring you anything.” So for decades children have tried to behave during this time of year in hopes that if they are good enough, they will have presents under the tree.

But have any of us ever been good enough? I know I’ve cried. I’ve lost my temper. I’ve been a little less than loving towards those who cut in front of me in line as I try to get out of the store during the Christmas chaos.

He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake! Oops! Santa saw! And now there will be coal for me in the stocking.

God sees too (much more than Santa sees). And He sees all the darkness inside our hearts. But did God leave coal for us on Christmas? Nope. Despite our crying, our pouting, our anger and hateful hearts, He still gave us a gift. The gift of His son Jesus.

Jesus came so that we could be saved from our sin. You see, no amount of being good on our part could ever be good enough. So God himself stepped in, took our place, freed us from the bondage of sin, healed our hearts, and gave us hope. God gives a us a gift apart from how good or bad we are. It is free for the taking. Jesus died for our sins. Will you accept his gift?

“’Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.”  Luke 2:10,11

Health and Godliness

Is health and godliness the same thing? What I have seen recently makes me wonder if Christians are interlinking the two. The verse I have seen in defense of this is Proverbs 31:25 “She is clothed with strength and dignity.” The implied message is a godly woman is a strong woman, a fit woman. But does God really require women (and men) to be physically fit and healthy in order to be godly? I do not believe so.

In 1 Timothy, Paul tells Timothy, “On the other hand, discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness; for bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” (1 Timothy 4:7b-8 NASB, emphasis mine)

Why is that? I believe it is because exercise and healthy living can only go skin deep. It scratches the surface of who we are. Yes, it is of some profit; after all, science has shown that good health can lead to more energy, wellness, and potentially longer life. But healthy living does not reach the heart. And it is in the heart where many of our fears and worries live, such as:

Eating disorders,
The struggles we have with our bodies,
Images that bombard us the moment we are born (my daughter, 8 years old, is already STRUGGLING with this!),
Believing that God loves us because deep down, we hate ourselves,
The voices inside our mind that tell us if we just work out a little more, eat a little more healthy, get that plastic surgery/breast job, we will finally look good too.

Exercise and healthy living can also be temporary: sickness comes, or you have a baby and your body changes, the time you used to have for the gym is now taken up by your children. Or simply the world’s standards for beauty and health change.

However, godliness is permanent. It changes both the heart and the body. It frees us to be who God made us to be. And reminds us that God loves us. He loves us despite the lumps, the bumps, the extra folds of skin, the stretch marks, the love handles, the size 14 pants, the double chin, and the poochy belly. Time and age will not diminish godliness. In fact, it grows in beauty as we allow God to transform our hearts. Isn’t that so freeing!

So am I saying it is bad to be healthy? Not at all. But I do not believe it is a requirement of God. Godliness, contentment, a life of truth and integrity, a serving and giving heart, these are the things God desires and are worth pursuing, because they profit us both in this life and the next.

 

The Day My Heart Stood Still

It started on Thanksgiving four years ago. My daughters were recovering from croup. Having dealt with croup for a couple years, it didn’t scare me as much. I knew what to do, and my children recovered quickly. So as I fixed Thanksgiving dinner and heard Caleb (my youngest and 2 at the time) start coughing, I knew he had caught it too.

As night came, I stayed with Caleb, making sure to give him medicine and cool mist breathing treatments. Halfway through the night, he seemed to be getting worse and worse. I finally told Dan that he needed to see the doctor in the morning.

By seven in the morning, having stayed up all night with Caleb, I finally dozed off on the hide-a-bed couch I had been sharing with him. Next thing I know, Philip is waking me up and telling me Caleb was blue. I found Caleb on the floor and screamed for Dan.

Dan immediately started CPR on our son while I called 911. We lived in a small town out in the country and were told it would be faster if we could drive our son to the hospital rather than send out an ambulance.

Caleb continued to labor for breath as we climbed into the car. I will never forget looking back and seeing the faces of my other 3 children in the window of our living room as we drove away. We could not reach anyone to stay with them and with our son dying, we had to trust God would take care of them as we raced to the hospital.

Caleb barely breathed as we raced 90mph down the highway. Then he stopped. His eyes went still and his body limp. It’s that look when the soul has left the body. I can’t describe it, and movies do not capture it.  That look in the eyes that there is no life inside.

In that moment, I felt the most helpless I have ever felt. If I could have, I would have breathed for my son. I would have traded places with him and died in his place. But I couldn’t. Instead, all I could do is cry out to God.

Dan talked me through CPR as I tried to administer to it to my son. His skin was pale blue, his lips too. Nothing.

Then I finally screamed in the car, “God I can’t do it! I need a miracle here!”

Before this point, Dan and I had been through one of the toughest years of our lives. We had lost a job, a home, and almost everything we had. I couldn’t bury a son too.

Then Caleb gasped. A flicker of life came back into his eyes and he looked at me. He could only take a breath every few seconds. I told him to keep breathing, to hold on, because we were almost there.

The hospital staff met us at the door and immediately started working on Caleb. They had no idea what was wrong with him. One of the doctors came to me and said he needed to be transferred to a bigger hospital in the town north of us. So Caleb and I got into an ambulance and raced up to the next town.

The staff there started working on Caleb, doing everything they could to keep him breathing. But they could not stabilize his breathing and could not figure out why he was having problems.

Finally, the pediatrician on call pulled me aside and said she had no idea what she was dealing with and the fact that he had went from a healthy boy to dying in less than 12 hours meant it was something serious. She advised that Caleb be flown to the children’s hospital in Portland.

I hate flying. And the smaller the airplane, the scarier. But one look at my little boy and I knew I would get on that plane, if it could save him.

However, his breathing would not stabilize enough to make the flight safely. And it was coming to the point where they would need to hook him up to a machine to breathe for him.

But again God worked, and Caleb stabilized long enough that we could fly.

So to Portland Caleb and I flew while Dan drove. By now we had finally reached people who could take care of our other kids. I found out later that when our friends arrived at the house, they had found Philip had dressed his sisters and fed them breakfast.

In Portland, the doctors began all sorts of tests. Caleb had to stay in the hospital crib, what we dubbed “the cage.” He wouldn’t stop crying, and that made it hard for him to breathe. Finally, the nurse told me I could go into the “cage” with him. So I crawled in, lay down, and placed Caleb on my chest. Immediately he calmed down and just looked around. I stayed there all night.

It took until that morning for Caleb to stabilize. We stayed there 2 additional days. In the end, no one really knows what happened. The doctors hypothesized that it was a mutant strain of croup never seen. I don’t know.

I am a very logical and factual person. Faith has never come easy for me. But I know within my heart that on that day four years ago, God answered the frantic prayer of a mother and worked a miracle on a dying son.

Because of what happened, Thanksgiving took on a new meaning for Dan and I. All we have to do is look across the table at Caleb and know that God still works miracles. And that we have much to be thankful for.

Free Beauty

During this time of year we are bombarded with things we can buy. And if you wake up really early the day after Thanksgiving, you might even buy it for less. But after reading a friend’s blog on consumerism, I was struck with the irony that we forget about all the free stuff we receive everyday.

Free stuff? Yep. These things cost absolutely nothing. In fact, you could never buy them, even if you had all the money in the world. And yet they are available to everyone. What I’m talking about is free beauty.

A sunset that leaves the sky colored in brilliant orange, red, and deep purple. A winter night so cold it takes your breath away and paints the moon in pale white.

The feel of a pet’s soft fur. Warm fleece pants (I could live in those ). Hot showers that leave your skin pink.

The smell of a baby just out of the bath (and how soft their skin is). The aroma of baking in the kitchen (cookies, bread, roast in the crockpot). Fresh spring rain.

And speaking of rain, the sound as it falls gently outside an open window. The purring of a cat (or guinea pig ). The wind brushing through tall evergreen trees. Songbirds.

The smooth, rich flavor of cheesecake. A bottle of root beer so cold it’s just on the brink of freezing. A peach just picked and still warm from the sun (I can feel the juice running down my chin now).

God has given us the ability to enjoy so many things, many of them we could never buy. But we forget to enjoy what is around us when we focus on the things we want to buy. So how about this season we take a break. Turn off the lights, sit on the couch and watch the Christmas lights twinkle on the tree. Walk outside and look at the stars. Stand in your kitchen for one minute and just enjoy the smell of cookies baking in the oven. And thank God for the amazing things He made and the senses He gave us to enjoy the world around us.

I would love to hear from you. What is your favorite Free Beauty?

The Gift of Thankfulness

This time of year, people start to reflect on what they are thankful for: houses, food, family, etc. I decided to challenge myself and come up with something I am thankful for every day in November. I did not want to just put something down. Instead, I really wanted to think about it, and search deep inside my heart: am I really thankful for this?

It occurred to me a couple days into November: the best definition of thankfulness is seeing everything as a gift, not as something I deserve or am entitled to.

When I began to see everything with this definition in mind, I realized how much I subtly think I deserve. I deserve a house, because my husband has a job and we have earned it.

Um. No.

I deserve a dishwasher for washing dishes because no one washes dishes by hand anymore, especially someone with a family of six.

Nope. Wrong again.

I deserve a car, or how else would I go places?

I deserve my turn to choose out the movie I want.

I deserve a clean house. After all, I don’t make any of the messes .

But when I began to see everything as a gift, it turned everything upside down.

I am thankful for a house. There was a time when Dan and I didn’t know where we were going to live. We don’t deserve a house, but God has given us one anyway. Thank you, God.

I currently do not have a dishwasher, and at first I wasn’t sure how I was going to get all those dishes done everyday. Instead, it has become a blessing. Every morning I wash the dishes as the kids eat breakfast and we talk. Wow, who would have thought?

We have a working car. We don’t deserve one and frankly, many people in this world don’t have one and still get by. But God has graciously given us a car. Thank you, God.

I’m thankful I have a family I can snuggle with on a couch and watch movies. We take turns choosing the movie and savor our time together. Love movie nights!

And as for a clean house, eh, it might happen someday. For me, a dirty house means I have life living here in my home: kids, dogs, husband. And I wouldn’t trade that for the world!

So how about you? What did you once think you deserved that God made you realize is simply a gift to be thankful for?

Getting to Know You

Something you may not know about me: I love filling out questionnaires. When I go to the doctor, I love all the forms. Databases? Yep, love them too. People generally find that odd, but hey, everyone has a weird quirk, right? So today I thought it would be fun to fill out a form, and let you get to know me more.

1. How do you like your steak? Medium well

2. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? The new Spiderman. And I loved it!

3. What is your favorite TV show? Right now I am enjoying Last Resort, Once Upon a Time, and Warehouse 13

4. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Oregon, I love the rain!

5. What did you have for breakfast? Leftover pizza

6. What is your favorite cuisine? Dessert

7. What foods do you dislike? Seafood

8. Favorite Place to Eat? Cheescake Factory

9. Favorite salad dressing? Chunky Bleu Cheese

10.What kind of vehicle do you drive? Honda Odyssey

11. Your favorite thing to wear? Anything comfortable. Usually jeans, t-shirt, and crocs

12. Where would you visit if you had the chance? I want to go to London someday

13. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? I’m a pessimist, and I’m working on it

14. Where would you want to retire? Oregon coast

15. Favorite time of day? Morning or evening. I hate afternoons.

16. Where were you born? Planet Earth

17. What is your favorite sport to watch? Football, definitely football

18. Bird watcher? When I lived on the Oregon coast, my kids and I discovered we loved watching birds. We bought a bird book and tried to find all the birds we saw.

19. Are you a morning person or a night person? Both, just not an afternoon person

20. Do you have any pets? 2 dogs, 1 cat, 2 long haired guinea pigs

21. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share? Almost done with Son of Truth

22. What did you want to be when you were little? A black pegasus unicorn

23. What is your best childhood memory? Camping with my dad

24. Are you a cat or dog person? Cat. I love doggies, but like cats more

25. Always wear your seat belt? Yes

26. Been in a car accident? Yes, but nothing bad

27. Any pet peeves? Wrinkles in my sheets. Just ask Dan

28. Favorite Pizza: Veggie

29. Favorite Flower? Daisies

30. Favorite ice cream? Licorice. Very hard to find

31. Favorite fast food restaurant? Panda Express

32. How many times did you fail your driver’s test? None

33. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? None because a) I don’t have any store credit cards and b) I would never max out a credit card (I rarely even use one)

34. Do anything spontaneous lately? Made quiche for the first time last week, turned out pretty good!

35. Like your job? Yes. I am a mother and a writer. Hard, but rewarding.

36. Broccoli? Yes

37. What was your favorite vacation? The best vacation I went on was my honeymoon. We went to Disneyworld and had a blast!

38. Last person you went out to dinner with? Dan and my in-laws

39. What are you listening to right now? My daughter playing a game

40. What is your favorite color? Green

41. How many tattoos do you have? Nope, afraid of needles lol

42. Coffee Drinker? Yes. My twins drove me to drink coffee

I love learning about other people, so please, take a moment and find a question and leave an answer in the comments below

 

Thankful for a Dirty House

I saw a quote the other day: “If insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, then why do I clean my house?” Am I right? I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels like they are going insane trying to keep their house clean. I have four children, two dogs, and a cat who constantly keep me busy.

But something hit me this morning as I was looking around: a dirty house means I have something to be thankful for.

Huh?

Let me explain. Currently in my living room are about 5-6 blankets/quilts and all my dining room chairs. Last night my boys made a fort to sleep in. On the one hand, I have a mess. On the other hand, I have two active, imaginative boys. Which view do I choose? I choose the fact that I have two wonderful boys who will grow up to be amazing men. I am thankful for this.

I also have a bunch of dirty dishes, half which came from my oldest daughter who loves to experiment and cook: chocolate chips mixed with nutella and peanut butter with a handful of marshmallows thrown in for good measure. Sometimes she can drive me nuts with her kitchen experiments (which are not all sanctioned by me).

But seen in a different light, I realize I am the mother of a little girl who may grow up to be a famous baker (or just make some man a very happy husband with her cooking). I am thankful I have a daughter, and her messes remind that she is a unique gift given to me by God.

Leaves all over the yard? A memory of jumping in the biggest pile of leaves. Hair on the couch? I have two great dogs and a cat. A pile of dirty laundry next to the bed? I have a husband, who all though isn’t the tidiest person in the world, has the biggest and most forgiving heart, and doesn’t shriek when I put my cold feet on him (at least not much ).

I could have a clean, dazzling, can-eat-right-off-the-linoleum-floor house, where the towels are perfectly folded and the food cans are lined up in alphabetical order. But there would be no family, no kids, no life.

Instead, there are paw prints on my newly washed floor, missing flowers out front, now decorating my girls’ room. Tree branches broken, and turned into swords. Little fingerprints on white doors.

To some these would be marks on the house, something to be cleaned. And sometimes they do need to be cleaned (toothpaste all over the counter can get to me sometimes). But instead of seeing the mess, I choose to see life. Life lives in this house. Happy, joyful life. Memories are left. Someday the wall will be clean, the carpet perfect. But for now, they are marks of life. And I am thankful for that.

Bad Boy Characters

I never set out to write a “bad boy” character. In real life, I was not interested in them. I had been taught at an early age to stay away from that kind of guy and diligently did so. They were trouble, and I didn’t want trouble.

So how did an assassin not only sneak into my book, but also become one of the focal characters? I’m still not sure.

As I wrote Rowen’s story, there was another character standing in the shadows. The first time I met Caleb Tala, he had just murdered a man. Really, Morgan? This was not the kind of book I had set out to write. But Caleb would not leave.

He intrigued me. A cold-hearted murderer, driven into this profession by his thirst for gold and women. He was ambitious, focused, and prided himself in always getting the job done.

But I came to realize Caleb had one fear, a fear no one else knew about because it lived deep inside him: he knew someday he would pay for the lives he took. It came to him at night, when his subconscious would speak to him. He dreamed of his victims killing him.

At first, he found ways to suppress those dreams. He filled his life with everything he desired. He used people, money, and power to distract himself. But when Caleb was shipped up north, the dreams came back tenfold. And this time he couldn’t hide from them.

When I realized Caleb’s fear, I knew I had to write him. How could I not explore this complex and dark man? I had to know what would happen to him next. And so Caleb stepped out of the shadows and entered my first book, Daughter of Light.

I am now writing Son of Truth, the second book in this series. It’s been fascinating to watch his story unfold more and his interactions with the other characters introduced in Daughter of Light. I never set out to write a bad boy character, but here he is. And Caleb is here to stay.

How about you? Do you enjoy books or write books with a “bad boy” character? How would you define a “bad boy”? And why do you think readers are enamored with this kind of character?

My Grace is All You Need

This verse has been on my mind and heart the last few weeks:

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Why? Because I have felt weak lately. Burdens, fears, and disappointments fill my thoughts.

My house hasn’t sold yet.

My grace is all you need.

I’m afraid people might not like my book.

My grace is all you need.

I’m struggling with feeling out of place, different from everyone around me.

My grace is all you need.

When Paul penned those words, they were the words given to him by God after he had begged three times for a “thorn in the flesh” to be taken away from him. We do not know if that thorn was a physical ailment, a painful relationship, or a burden he carried. What we do know is that it was placed in his life to keep him from becoming proud.

Through that painful “thorn”, God revealed that all Paul needed was God’s grace. And His power works best in weakness.

Same with us. All we need is God’s grace. So everyday this month I am reading these verses because I need to be reminded of this over and over again:

My grace is all you need.

How about you? What are you feeling needs to be resolved or finished so you can move on in your life? Or what burden/fear are you carrying around? Remember what God is saying to you:

My grace is all you need.

 

My Bucket List

Today I wanted to do a fluffy post. Lately (maybe because my birthday is around the corner?), I’ve been thinking about my bucket list. Now this list is not just stuff I hope to do or would be nice to do. It’s stuff that if at all possible I will do before I die. So here it is:

-Spend one night in a castle. I don’t care where the castle is, I just want to spend a night in one .

-Visit London. Yep, I want go eat fish and chips in a pub, ride on a double decker bus, see Buckingham palace, everything.

-Take my family to Yellowstone Park. I absolutely love the beauty of that place and want to spend a couple days driving/camping through with my family.

-Plant a butterfly garden. I have just discovered there are a lot of butterflies in Kansas, so this will make it even easier .

This is my list so far. I wanted to only put things that are in my control to accomplish (winning a national cooking contest is outside my control, however entering one is… but that’s not on my bucket list lol).

So I’m curious, what is on your bucket list?