C.A. Shives's Blog: Bleeding On Paper, page 2

Potty Mouth

No, I’m not referring to the babble of my potty-training toddler.

A few people–especially friends and family–have commented on the frequent occurrence of 4-letter words in PHOBIA.

The foul language is mostly limited to one character (the town’s Chief of Police), although a few other characters drop the f-bomb on occasion.

So why did I opt to liberally utilize profanity?

Well, realism is one reason. Cops curse. Cops swear. Cops use profanity. Perhaps not all, but many. They’re often in tough, life-threatening situations that raise adrenaline and require the use of strong language. Many deal with criminals who understand “Put the f-ing gun down now!” more easily than “Relinquish your deplorable firearm without delay!” Cops need to think on their feet to protect themselves and others. They often need to move fast and talk fast. If they want to save lives, they don’t have time to ponder their every statement before they speak. They react, and sometimes that reaction includes cursing. That’s reality, and I’d rather have a cop scream profanities at a crook than risk his/her life by wasting precious moments second-guessing the vernacular. Law enforcement is a hard and dangerous job that receives very little reward and appreciation in return. As far as I’m concerned, cops can talk in whatever manner they please.

My second reason for employing swear words in PHOBIA is, simply, that it’s part of my own natural speech. Sadly, I have a bit of a potty mouth. Now, I have two little kids, so I’ve learned to internalize my expletives during daylight hours. But once the babies are in bed and I’ve had a glass of wine, it’s not uncommon to hear me drop a few f-bombs of my own.

If you haven’t read the book yet, please note: You’ll probably hate it if you tend to be offended by profanity. But if you don’t mind a little swearing, then you might find it a good read.

 

My Writing View

Based on a post at the Kindle Boards, I thought I’d share the view I see when I write.

Now, this is not always my view. Sometimes I’m sitting on the couch. Sometimes I’m stuck in my home office. Sometimes I’m sitting in the lobby area of some kid-event.

But mostly, I write at my kitchen island. And if I turn my head, this is what I see:

 

 



 

Country living at its best.

 

The Birth Of A Plotline

Last night I watched a movie that involved a female college student who paid her way through school by operating a pornographic “live webcam” website. Part of the plot involved the necessity for her to time her classes and events so that she had free time to “work” during her live performances. It was a campy and fun movie, with no death or dismemberment involved.

Yet, as the story unfolded, I thought to myself:

College girl makes money by operating pornographic live webcam website.
During a live performance, a masked killer enters her dorm room and proceeds to murder her on camera.
The killer enjoys the activity and decides to create his own “live murder” website.
The serial killer brutally murders college co-eds in real-time for all the world to see.

Now, this is not a story I will ever write. I lack the technical knowledge to explain how the killer’s website is never traced back to him. These types of murders might also involve federal law enforcement since they’re being shown for anyone’s viewing on the Internet, and I prefer to set my books in a small town. And it’s possible that someone else has already done something similar (I haven’t bothered to check since the plot doesn’t interest me). In addition, I just don’t love the story. It strikes me as unbelievable.

But I believe this type of brainstorming is imperative for any author. And most writers find that this process happens naturally. All it takes is a hint of an idea–an image, a word, a phrase–and suddenly our minds have twisted it into something completely different.

 

Sacrifice

In Phobia, my main character has sacrificed almost everything in his life–his wife, his job, his love. And today, as I struggle with trying to write while two young kids scream in the background, my thoughts have turned to sacrifice.

No, I’m not going to offer up my kids on the altar of The Badly Behaved Toddler to be renewed by the Spirit Of The Supermarket Tantrum. But I have come to the realization that trying to work while simultaneously caring for a 4-year-old and an almost-2-year-old is, at best, an exercise in futility.

It’s become clear that I must sacrifice something if I want to find time to write.

So what are my options?

Time with my family: This is a priority for me.
Money: If I part with some cash, I can pay a babysitter to watch the kids for a few hours each week. My bank balance would suffer, however.
Sleep: I’m a walking zombie most of the time. I couldn’t get less sleep even if someone propped my eyes open with toothpicks.
Reading/TV: I rarely watch TV. My “to-read” list at Goodreads keeps piling up, and I’m not making a dent in it.
Writing: No way.

I’ve already sacrificed cooking (my kids have been eating sandwiches and frozen pizza for most of JuNoWriMo), housekeeping (just watched a dust bunny hop across the floor), and yard work (my lawn looks like a hayfield).

At this exact moment, my youngest is crying, screaming, and trying to climb up my legs. Writing will have to wait.

But I know the muse won’t wait forever.

 

Multiple Personality Disorder in Writers

After reading Phobia, Spouse came to me and said, “This [particular] character is you.”

Well, yeah. I wrote the book. It came out of my little ol’ head. Everything in it is me.

But I tend to think that writers–in fact, humans in general–all have a bit of Multiple Personality Disorder. Sometimes we’re shy and sometimes we’re outgoing. Sometimes we’re brave and sometimes we’re cowards. We love and we hate. We laugh and we cry. We’re lovers and children and parents and friends.

I like pizza and beer (a little too much). But sometimes I want oysters and wine.

Those are the vagaries of life. Of humans. Of writers.

For some characters, I have to dig deep to make them true to life. They are only a small piece of me, and it requires conscious work to understand their motivations and desires. They act in ways that I wouldn’t, and I shake my head at their foolishness while writing their behavior. Other characters come more naturally to me. I recognize their feelings and thoughts as if they were my own.

But in both cases, part of me is reflected back to the world. Sometimes they’re the parts I love about myself. Other times, they are the parts that I hate. Either way, it’s me.

Change Is Constant

Maybe I’m a little bit Obsessive Compulsive. (Doesn’t everyone color-code their underwear drawer?) But for years, I needed my workspace to be neat and orderly. As a virtual paragon of organization, my writing space typically consisted of bins, boxes, and plastic dividers that corralled all the accoutrements of my writing trade.

Then I had kids. Two of ‘em.

And I became a Stay At Home Parent. The result? My “workspace” became the kitchen table, and I was surrounded by so many toys that my house looked like the inside of a crayon box. To add insult to injury, most of the toys included the usual flashing lights and high-pitched musical tunes (which, admittedly, harmonized beautifully with the high-pitched squeals and screams of my toddler).

So I learned to adjust. I wrote during nap hour. I squeezed in some editing between play-dough events. And I learned to ignore the Cheerios embedded in the bottom of my feet.

When all else failed, an episode of Dora The Explorer gave me 30 minutes of peaceful writing time.

I’ve heard that the only constant in life is change. And though I’ve had to alter my environment to find time for my craft, writing a story will always be a permanent part of my world.

 

Writing Habits

Although I tend to think human beings in general are creatures of habit, I consider myself to be relatively open-minded. I'm quick to adopt new technology in my life, whatever the gadget may be.

But as I've started working on my newest book (tentatively titled VENGEANCE), I've come to realize that some of my writing habits just can't be broken.

For example, first notes and initial thoughts on plotlines must always be jotted on a yellow legal pad. This is a throwback to my previous employment as a research assistant, where yellow legal pads were as ubiquitous as monochromatic shirts and ties.

I also tried writing my first draft in software known as Scrivener, which actually IS great software for writers. It allows organization and reorganization of sections and notes in a simple, intuitive format. And though it works great for my outlines, I found myself struggling to actually WRITE in it. Not because the software is flawed, but because I'm just too used to seeing my words in another format. As soon as I switched back to Open Office, the writing started to flow again.

Change is great. New technology is great. But sometimes, old school is the only way to do it.

Thank you, Penguin Book Country

Penguin Book Country has received a lot of heat from the indie author community, particularly from established writers who recognize the company's offerings as services at an inflated price. Some bloggers have accused Book Country of scamming innocent new authors, especially those who are too enamored with the idea of seeing their words published to actually read the fine print of the publisher's terms of service.

But, as an indie author, I have to express my gratitude to Penguin Book Country.

I struggled with traditional publishing for years, making it to the "agent represented" stage but never to the "book published" stage. Disheartened and disillusioned, I shelved fiction writing as a career and returned to journalism and editing.

Then, during a very challenging time in my life, I read a news story about Book Country. I believe it was shortly after they released an announcement about their services.

Until that time, I didn't even know that indie publishing was a viable alternative. I had turned my back on all things related to publishing after my failures in previous years.

But the news story planted a little seed of hope.

I browsed the Book Country website. I learned what would be involved. I checked my bank account to see if I could spare the funds to pay for their services.

Fortunately, I am a researcher at heart. So before I pulled the trigger, I went back to my computer. And I read everything I could about Book Country.

The more I read, the more disenchanted I became. Until I started seeing bloggers mention Createspace, KDP, and Smashwords.

More research. More time. I left Book Country in the dust and looked at publishing avenues that gave me more control for less cost.

In the end, I forgot all about Book Country. Their services were not for me. But I still owe them gratitude. Were it not for their press announcement and subsequent news story, I would never have found my indie author path.

Thanks, Book Country, for having a publicity team that gave you national coverage for your services.

And thanks, too, to all the bloggers who blasted Book Country for their crappy/expensive services, and instead recommended Amazon, Smashwords, and Lightning Source.

I am in your debt.

Discipline

My dentist asked about my writing life, and I mentioned that I just published a novel about a serial killer and phobias. "In fact," I said, "one of the phobias featured in the novel is fear of the dentist."

We had a nice chuckle about it, and then she said, "I can't imagine the discipline it must take to write a book."

I should have quipped with something witty, such as, "Not as much discipline as it takes to finish dental school, I'm sure," but I wasn't quick enough on the draw.

Today I sat down to write a few thousands words on my Work In Progress. And damn, my dentist was right. It DOES take discipline.

Twitter. Facebook. Goodreads. Email. Google News. Wikipedia. IMDB. Text Messaging.

All of these distractions are like constant little ants on my keyboard. I swat at them--give them brief attention--and they keep returning.

I need to find some bug spray for my next writing session.

Letting Go

After my initial publication of PHOBIA on Amazon, I had to remove the e-book because of a few typos. Then, as I fixed the typos, I noticed some places that needed tweaking.

So I tweaked.

And revised.

And edited.

And tweaked some more.

I could probably revise my book forever. As a perfectionist, even the slightest little imperfection is enough to drive me mad. I'm always looking for a better word. A better phrase. A better description.

But even perfectionists like myself need to know when it's time to let go.

So I republished PHOBIA, and now it's back out in the world.

I once read that having kids is like walking around with your heart outside of your chest.

Publishing a book is like that, too.