Evan Bollinger's Blog, page 4
February 6, 2012
"Makin it Rain"
Cool people seem to have a knack for "making itrain." I'm not sure what this means. Sure, I suppose I get the whole moneything, and the dropping of cash on one's fellow buddies and ladies, and howit's like precipitation coming down. Sure, I get that. And it's grand.
But what confuses me is why anybody would want to exhibittheir wealth that way. If you're gonna toss cash around like you just don'tcare, do it the right way. "Make it gust."
I suggest a leaf-blower. Set up your 'stacks' in nice crispcolumns—then spray that shit all over the place. Make it gust. Imagine a bunchof blinged-out egomaniacs standing around with leafblowers tearing up the club.Pretty awesome, huh?
Better yet, if you reallywanna show how little blowing money means to you, take it a step further.Make it burn.
But seriously. Ever seen the movie, the Dark Knight? I mean,if money has no value to you... if you've got so much of it that you can justdo whatever... why not burn it? What better way to show you're a real rich snitchthan to barbecue that shit?
Imagine the looks on people's faces when they see youmindlessly torching hundreds of thousands of dollars.
"Shiiiit, hedon't give a shit yo. Fool just burned six figures..."
What if you're really hip? What if you're so cool, you'recold? What if you're 'on that arctic shit'? In these cases, I say, screw makinit rain.
Make it flood. Make it Katrina.
Have a crane dump your stacks on the club floor. What betterway to say what's up than to literally suffocate people with your money?
Talk about drowning in dollars...
Slackerdom
Underachievement is a funky lil thing. Though it seems to bein the eye of the beholder. Usually that beholder is society. And usually thatsociety is bent on so-called achievement corresponding with so-calledpotential.
Society is a selfish bastard at times. Society wants peopleto contribute, for people to rise up and grease the capitalist wheels.
A lot of times underachievement is attributed to poorself-concept, self-efficacy, and/or some kind of resulting cognitiveinefficiency. Some people simply call it laziness. It's whatever.
Or somethin like that. I'd elaborate, but...
motivation's a bitch.
February 2, 2012
questions of cosmos
Space is a wild and mysterious thing. Big and black and endless...
With points of light and death stars and Han Solo and rocks that zip all over and no gravity and matter and holes and all kinds of wacky energy that we say we understand but only partly, or not at all, or maybe just a tad...
Space is crazy. And it's even crazier when you've gotta explain space... to a bunch of kids...
See, I substituted once for a bunch of first-graders. Let me start by saying, I know nothing about first graders...I mean, I know they're small little creatures, and they all wanna have 'play-time' and even the boys have high-pitched voices...
But really I know nothing about them. They're like a bunch of gremlins who haven't hit puberty yet. (I'm not sure what that means, but just roll with it...)
See, when I started 'explaining' outer-space to these kids, I was bombarded by a trillion questions. Oddly enough, questions that I too have wondered, and have yet to answer.
"Where does it end?" one munchkin kept shouting. What was I to say? I told him that we didn't know. That very smart people had been studying it for some time and that there were a lot of different ideas and theories.
One kid asked me how something could go on forever. Again, what to say? I tried to relate it to a circle, but even that didn't really make sense in my mind, cuz I knew it wasn't quite like a circle, and I also knew that I didn't really know anything about space aside from the few things I had learned Wikipedia-ing one day.
Fortunately, some questions were a little easier to handle. And it was good to see them learning. After all, our galaxy the Milky Way is, in fact, not chocolate OR edible. And I felt that was an important distinction to make.
In the end, it was comforting to know one thing. That all of us, from time to time, regardless of age or knowledge, wonder the same things.
What's out there?
Do aliens exist?
Can we go back in time?
Is there intelligent life?
And if our galaxy is called the Milky Way... have scientists located the Baby Ruth?
With points of light and death stars and Han Solo and rocks that zip all over and no gravity and matter and holes and all kinds of wacky energy that we say we understand but only partly, or not at all, or maybe just a tad...
Space is crazy. And it's even crazier when you've gotta explain space... to a bunch of kids...
See, I substituted once for a bunch of first-graders. Let me start by saying, I know nothing about first graders...I mean, I know they're small little creatures, and they all wanna have 'play-time' and even the boys have high-pitched voices...
But really I know nothing about them. They're like a bunch of gremlins who haven't hit puberty yet. (I'm not sure what that means, but just roll with it...)
See, when I started 'explaining' outer-space to these kids, I was bombarded by a trillion questions. Oddly enough, questions that I too have wondered, and have yet to answer.
"Where does it end?" one munchkin kept shouting. What was I to say? I told him that we didn't know. That very smart people had been studying it for some time and that there were a lot of different ideas and theories.
One kid asked me how something could go on forever. Again, what to say? I tried to relate it to a circle, but even that didn't really make sense in my mind, cuz I knew it wasn't quite like a circle, and I also knew that I didn't really know anything about space aside from the few things I had learned Wikipedia-ing one day.
Fortunately, some questions were a little easier to handle. And it was good to see them learning. After all, our galaxy the Milky Way is, in fact, not chocolate OR edible. And I felt that was an important distinction to make.
In the end, it was comforting to know one thing. That all of us, from time to time, regardless of age or knowledge, wonder the same things.
What's out there?
Do aliens exist?
Can we go back in time?
Is there intelligent life?
And if our galaxy is called the Milky Way... have scientists located the Baby Ruth?
