Jonathan V. Last's Blog, page 28

The Cult Obama (cont.)

The great Mollie Hemingway has a piece up at the Federalist about the weird, impersonal, mass-celebration of President Obama’s birthday. I’m glad she wrote this, because yesterday I got the single creepiest fund-raising email I’ve ever seen. And it was situated around the Joyous and Patriotic Birth Celebration of The One. From “Grant Campbell” of BarackObama.com, the subject header was “Trying not to make this awkward, Jonathan”:

Read that again: “I don’t want to make this awkward, but . . . It looks like you haven’t signed OFA’s birthday card for President Obama yet.”

Yikes. The two unspoken messages here are: (1) We’re watching; and (2) Your reluctance to do your patriotic duty is causing some unpleasantness, which is duly noted.

Absolutely the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen sent out on behalf of a politician.

Who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters was a pleasant enough movie. But even as I child, I remember thinking: This would be so much funnier if they were girls women. Then it could be hilarious and pass the Bechdel Test!

Well, my prayers may finally be answered.

I just hope the filmmakers don’t fall into the transphobic trap of making all the characters cis-gendered women. That’s not what progress is supposed to look like and if they do, we’ll call them out for their bigotry.

Real American Heroes: Paul Ryan Edition

In the August issue of Newsmax magazine, Paul Ryan is asked what he’s reading. He gives two replies: Captain Underpants and . . . wait for it . . .

In case you don’t want to blow it up, Ryan says:

This is an insightful work for anyone interested in how demographic trends are changing our economy and our world. With the retirement of the baby boomers almost in full swing, I think policymakers will be grappling with Last’s findings for a long time to come.

I believe in Paul Ryan. Now, more than ever.

Tapping Out of ‘Game of Thrones’

In which I give up on what I’m sure is really awesome fantasy nerd culture.

But I still want to see Battle of the Five Armies.

That is, if I ever get around to seeing Desolation of Smaug.

The Greatness of Weird Al

I wrote about Weird Al Yankovic in the newsletter this week and Galley Friend B.W. emailed in response:

Courtesy of a college friend of mine who’s Weird Al’s children’s-book editor: With “Word Crimes,” he’s now had a top-forty hit in each of the last four decades (“Eat It,” 1984, “Smells Like Nirvana,” 1992, and “White & Nerdy,” 2006.). Complete list of people who’ve done that:

1. Madonna

2. Michael Jackson

3. Weird Al

Amazing. Who expected that from the son and heir to Frank Yankovic, the Polka King?

Incidentally, my friend says that Weird Al is the nicest guy in the world.

A Philosophical Question

‘Murica?

Because I have no idea what to make of that. Maybe Bobby Charette can help.

(The website is okay, but the promo video on the landing page is insanely NSFW.)

Update: Imagine a real-life Kenny Powers. Only lower-class. And drunk. And possibly on meth. With strippers. As part of a circus side-show.

Trailer City

I can’t remember the last time I saw a trailer as visually stunning as the teaser for Mad Max: Fury Road. I’m open to nominations.

 

Possible contenders: Inception, Matrix: Reloaded

More on Libertarians and “Desegregating” Sports

Pursuant to our discussion last week about the Reason proposal to do away with separate sports for men and women, Galley Friend L.B. left a comment that’s worth posting on its own:

A very silly Reason article (but I repeat myself) — thanks for carving it up, JVL. Dumb article aside, if you haven’t seen the video of Kacy Catanzaro on “American Ninja Warrior,” you should check it out. It’s an impressive display of athleticism — her gymnastic training (she was a Div. 1 NCAA gymnast) no doubt helped her discover how to use her momentum and agility to make up for her lack of raw strength and tiny frame:

http://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2014/7/15/5903209/american-ninja-warrior-gymnast-video-obstacle-course-kacy-catanzaro

On the larger point — you’re right about the inevitable result of “gender-merging” almost any sport. I started wondering if my own obsession, golf, might be an exception — i.e., whether the very best women golfers might at least have a shot to be competitive in mens’ tournaments. So I did a little research…

First: Physical differences b/w men and women golfers *do* make a big difference. Some 2010 data here from the PGA and LPGA show that the male pros have an average clubspeed about 15-18 mph faster than the women (depending on the club); as a result, the men average a 270 yard carry with the driver, while the women average just 220:

http://thesandtrap.com/t/32498/trackman-data-pga-tour-vs-lpga

Now, any serious golfer who wouldn’t sell his soul for 50 extra yards off the tee is a liar. Still, at the highest levels of the game, the old saw “Drive for Show, Putt for Dough” seems to be true, and you don’t need any strength at all to be a top one-percentile putter. So couldn’t a top female golfer — one with great (for a woman) distance and accuracy off the tee and a great short game — hang with the men?

It turns out we already have an answer, and it’s not from that brat Michelle Wie’s ridiculous appearances in third-rate men’s tournaments. Twice in history (that I’m aware of), the acknowledged greatest female golfer in the world has played in a mens’ tournament. In 2003, Annika Sorenstam, almost certainly the greatest female golfer ever, got a sponsor’s exemption to play at the Colonial Tournament in Ft. Worth. It’s not a major, but it’s one of the better PGA tournaments with a solid field — most of the greats (Hogan, Palmer, Nicklaus, Watson, Mickelson, etc.) have played and won there. Sorenstam was 32 and in the prime of her career at that point, and she wasn’t trying to make some feminist statement; it was a one-time thing for her — she was so utterly dominant on the ladies’ tour that she accepted the invitation just to see how she’d stack up against the men.

The result? She shot 4-over par for the first two rounds and missed the cut, finishing tied for 96th, better than only 11 men in a total field of 111. (Her putting stroke abandoned her on the back 9 in the second round; a more typical performance on the greens probably would’ve gotten her past the cut.) Later that year she played against Fred Couples, Phil Mickelson, and Mark O’Meara in the Skins Game and finished an impressive second, but that’s a made-for-TV exhibition and not the same as a real tournament.

In January 1945, Babe Didrickson Zaharias, one of the greatest all-around female athletes and best ever female golfers, played in three mens’ tournaments. She made the weekend cut at all three, missed the Saturday cut in the first, and in the latter two she finished tied for … 33rd and 42nd.

So: If you merged the PGA and LPGA tours … well, arguably the two best women ever to swing a club would probably make some cuts — and almost certainly finish in the bottom quarter of the money list/rankings. And that’s the two greatest women golfers EVER, not your average lady pro or even top-50-ever lady golfers. As a fan of the sport, I’m glad Annika Sorenstam had the LPGA tour — where she could show what a brilliant player and competitor she was, rather than being a curiosity finishing in the middle-to-rear of the pack every week on the PGA tour.

 

Atlantic Article About Ramadan Answers Itself

The Atlantic’s latest clickbait piece is an essay asking “Why Are There So Few Ramadan Marketing Campaigns?”

And then, in the third graph, the author answers her own ridiculous question:

In the U.S., the growth of the Muslim population is projected to climb from 2.6 million in 2010 to 6.2 million in 2030.

So the reason Ramadan doesn’t get marketed to is because because only 0.8 percent of the American population is Muslim and of that tiny sliver we have no idea how many American Muslims actually observe Ramadan in a meaningful way. There are more than twice as many Mormons. Heck, there are more Buddhist in America, too. Islam in America is an incredibly small niche.

On the other hand, you can see why Muslims might be a little put out by the lack of mainstream discussion of Ramadan. After all, the percentage of Americans who self-identify as gay is only twice as large as the percentage who are Muslim, yet the United States has generally acted as though radically changing the 5,000-year-old institution of marriage to accommodate homosexual unions was the Most Important Issue Ever.

In that context, you might think a commercial about Ramadan during Big Bang Theory is perfectly natural.

Show her your “O” face

It’s a Comic-Con giant Avengers: Age of Ultron poster.

And it is awesome.

(Santino deadpanned to me: “Black Widow is punching so hard right now.”)