Sudakshina Bhattacharjee's Blog, page 2

What’s In Our Hearts

I initially wrote this poem ‘In Our Hearts’ a few years ago, when I was single and much ready to mingle. Clearly, I had a lot more time on my hands back then. Much has transpired since then and I had indeed forgotten about it, till I was doing some de-cluttering on my computer and found this.

So, here’s this sentimental poem from me to you…enjoy!

Poem: In Our Hearts

If we don’t judge a book

By its cover –

Why do we fall so for a lover?

A few compliments here,

Some sweet nothings there,

We swoon all over-

And jump in the air!

Falling in love is wonderful and ecstatic,

So that’s why our friends go back in the attic!

Technology changes

Day by day

And so we shove the old away?

But does that mean we tease our friends –

Who are striving to grasp all loose ends?

Saying damn to Patience,

Damn to Humility –

My latest gizmo comes with a five-year warranty!

Guessing, estimating and predicting

Is a game, a habit and so addicting!

Get it right, you’re on the ball,

Get it wrong, you’ve lost it all!

Why are we so hard on ourselves?

Our lives could be so easy.

Why do we store pain in our hearts’ shelves?

As we don’t have to feel this queasy!

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That Moment When…

Hello Blogworms,

How goes it with you all? Good, I hope.

I realise it has been a long while since I last posted here and if you missed me – or my writing – please accept my apologies.

Life took over, ya know and all that jazz!

But during this busy period, there have been a number of Moments that have cropped up that are hard to put into words  – although I see that there are several memes on the internet that illustrate these quite poignantly.

So, here’s my ‘That Moment When’ list for your amusement…

That Moment When…

1. I’ve cracked a level on Candy Crush Soda Saga after spending several days on it

2. I’ve missed the bus or tube by 30 seconds!!

3. I went into a shop to get something, forgot what it was, came out and then remembered it!

4. Someone is talking/playing music way too loud on public transport…

5. I smile at someone – and they don’t smile back!

6. I smile at somebody –  and they do smile back!

7. When I get my favourite seat on the bus/tube (oh, c’mon – we all have one!)

8. I’m fed up of doing housework all…day…long

9. I’ve discovered a fake friend…

10. I hear something exciting and then bang my knee on the table  when trying to get up!

Please note that these Moments are not in chronological order and yes they have actually happened to me!

Ciao for now peeps!

 

 

 

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Name Games

Greetings, My Dear Blogworms,

Hope the first quarter of the year is treating you well and before I start sounding as if I am about to give you a business report, let me assure that I am not!

This may be a recent phenomenon but it is something that baffles and perplexes me to no end. Many of my female connections who have gotten married now keep their maiden surnames with their marital surnames, BUT without hyphenating the surnames! This is what I mean when titling this post as ‘Name Games’!

So, to clarify (with a fictitious example), let’s say a woman called Bridget Jones marries someone called Mark Darcy and she chooses to keep her maiden name but add her husband’s surname to it, like this: Bridget Jones-Darcy.

This is perfectly understandable and logical.

What isn’t understandable or logical – for me – is when women do NOT hyphenate their surnames. I have observed this to happen more with my Indian contacts, so it may be a cultural difference, but I can only assume this.

Let me use my name as an example. Before I got married, my surname was Mukherjee. When I got married, I chose to take up my husband’s surname without any of this hyphenating business. My first name is long enough as it is.

So, from Sudakshina Mukherjee, I became Sudakshina Bhattacharjee, because if I were to indulge in such hyphenating shenanigans, my name would be an object of ridicule, as it would read: Sudakshina Mukherjee Bhattacharjee.

For foreigners, this would be an unnecessary pickle, because they would think ‘Mukherjee’ is my middle name. But it isn’t and I don’t have a middle name! As I live and work outside of India, I would have to explain this a zillion times to foreigners, before we have even exchanged the initial customary pleasantries.

As you can see, I can certainly do without this additional botheration!

Even in India, where we do tend to have lengthy nomenclatures and we are generally okay with it, I fail to see the point that is made by having two surnames.

Other fictitious examples to elucidate what I mean are:

Soma Banerjee Chatterjee

Neeta Pillai Sharma

Malini Mitra Guha

If you are trying to take a feminist stance in acknowledging both your maiden name and married name, fair enough. Just use a hyphen in between them, like this:

Soma Banerjee-Chatterjee

Neeta Pillai-Sharma

Malini Mitra-Guha

I hope the addition of a hyphen between the surnames makes it clear why it is needed.

Otherwise, I cannot imagine what such women do when it comes to real-life matters, such as passports, etc? Do they use the two-surname approach then or is this essentially for making themselves findable online?

The mind truly does boggle… are such name games necessary?

[DISCLAIMER: The mention of the above names are purely for the purposes of illustration and any resemblance to real identities is purely coincidental]

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Selfish Selfies!

Season’s Greetings, One and All

For ‘Tis the end of the year! 

 

With the New Year just around the corner, let us take stock of how self-obsessed we have been.

I know, I really have cut to the chase in this blog post, haven’t I!

Yes, I am referring to the process of swerving the cameraphone towards oneself, taking photos of self and then posting them on social media platforms for the world to see.

And if you still haven’t got what I meant, I am alluding to the [rather annoying] fad that we’re currently experiencing called ‘selfies’!

If you have got what I meant, bravo!

I actually do not know what is more annoying, the publishing of such selfies or the demand for others to behold them, ‘Like’ them and leave [sometimes half-baked?] praises as a by-the-by… Yes, I’m still working that one out…

Although, I have to say that I too am guilty of indulging in this digital self-portraiture business. I took these over the summer: 

 

 

Incidentally, whaddyathink of these?!  

But I digress, forgive me. After viewing hundreds of selfies, my mind has been bumbling on why we are indulging in such what-I-call digital narcissism? I have out it down to three factors:-

a) We are bored and so when we have nothing better to do, we take a selfie.

b) We have made the effort to dress up [or dress down, depending on the situation] and when we wish to preen like peacocks, we take a selfie.

c) We are so ensconced in our own little worlds that we fail to see how others could possibly be bored of viewing our selfies and just keeping snapping and uploading.

If you think about it, selfies do not make sense in the physical realm of our lives. Imagine self-adhesive albums comprised of pages and pages of photos of yourself! Unless, you happen to be a catwalk model, or a wannabe actor/actress, such an album would be ludicrous.

So, how do selfies make sense in the digital realm then? Enlighten me, if you will, please…

 

 

Conundrums – Part Deux!

Hello there Blogworms,

How goes it with you all?

Lately, I’ve been windswept with a lot of baffling mishmash which I’d like to share/rant with you in this blog post.

I will call it my second list of conundrums as the nature of  this blog post is similar to the one I wrote two years back, you know the one called Conundrums! 

The one where I look like this:-

 

Strikes a bell? Good. If not, it doesn’t matter.

So, without further ado, here goes [cue throat-clearing noise]:-

 

Sudakshina’s Second List of Conundrums – September 2014 

Forget about stopping and looking at the flowers, what IS wrong with commuters and their need to be uber-speedy? Yes, I know we all need to make it to work on time and that public transport can be slower on most days, but does that mean we have to tut-tut at those who are not in a hurry? Does that mean we have to shove past them? If the slower ones are in the way, can’t we just say ‘excuse me please’ and wait for the split second it takes them to allow you to charge forward? Have we lost all sense of decorum? No, actually don’t answer that because I already have! It makes me mad and shout out:-

     

This leads me to another commuting-related conundrum: buses! No, I don’t have a problem with the mode of transport per se, but I do have a problem with the way some drivers feel the urge to hit the breaks real hard just when the bus is packed and we all fall on to each other, succumbing to 50 shades of body odour/bad breath/someone’s foot/someone’s oversized bag? This is NOT what we want to encounter the first thing on a miserable Monday morning back to work!

My third conundrum (should probably be my first, but then I’m in a random mood, so there!) is, to simply put it, why can’t people just MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS?!?! I’m sure there are countless blog posts and what-have-you on this, but we just don’t change, do we? And don’t you just hate those sort of people who don’t reveal much about themselves when you prod for more detail, you know as a sort of returning-the-favour/doing-the-same so that this person doesn’t think I’m selfish, yapping about myself all the time! But no, it turns out, such people don’t care about your reactions, but look out for your response. When you live in a inter-cultural society like mine – i.e. a mishmash of British Asian/native Indian/urbane-and-traditional Bengali values – things are…complex, to say the least. Allow me to demonstrate the sort of questions I get from my contacts – I won’t name them, but I will shame them!!

Why, oh why are we judged like this so harshly and intrusively?  Especially by women? I don’t think most men have such a wide social judgement radar like us women, which is good and bad, like everything. However, I do think if women could just mind their own business, think more and judge less, then we will progress much more as a gender! Is it any wonder how a number of women have gone onto become public figures? No, actually. They have just concentrated on their own lives, worked fiercely hard,  looked after their own lot, thought more logically and used their emotional power to their advantage. I emulate such women and the more of you who do, the better!

Next, what is the problem with youngsters these days? Not just them per se, but the way we perceive them? Having taught this age group for around 8 years of my career, I can honestly say that they aren’t that bad and all they need is a little attention. The yearn to be heard, seen and respected for who and what they are. If you treat them nicely, they will reciprocate…maybe not at first, but that’s just a barrier they use to shield themselves from the world that’s unknown to them as yet. If they are rude to you, do admonish them, but don’t make such a song-and-dance about it…keep it low-key, but clear enough for the person in question to understand what you’re saying to them.

 

The other evening, I was on my way home, wading through the rush-hour crowds, when a young woman bumped into me, with her back facing me. It was a thud and I was startled for two ticks, but I carried on fast-walking ahead, thinking nothing of it. (No, really. I wasn’t admonishing her in my head, of course not! :)) Then someone tapped me on my shoulder, I turned around to see it was her, looking rather angry and she said: “You should have said ‘sorry’ for pushing me though!” To which I replied, calmly yet sternly “You should have as well then!” And then, I walked off, leaving her with a baffled expression on her face. This whole incident makes me think in retrospect that a) why did she push me and then ask me to apologise? b) could I have said anything better?  Well, at least I didn’t make a show of it!  But I guess it is another ‘Oi’ moment! What do you think?

I’m going to love you and leave you for now…my rant is over, but do leave your comments should you wish to.

Picture Perfect?

Hello Dear Blogworms!

How are we all doing? Are some of us holidaying (not me)? Are some of us restricted to stuffy offices? (Again, not me, that’s one of the very few perks in freelancing) Or maybe, are some of us just lapping up the sunshine and going about life? (yes, that’s more like me)

Well, whatever you’re up to, the one thing that I see more and more of us doing is taking photos and posting them on social media platforms.

Loads and loads and loads of them.

Multiply this line into three million and you’ll have the daily rate of photos posted on Facebook alone! (Source: Gizmodo.com)

Three million photos – that’s a lot of photos, right? What on earth are we taking pictures of and posting? Just what IS our mindset behind this show-and-tell-like activity?

Is our need to be socially approved and validated so great that we simply go about posting anything that we’ve taken, or someone else has taken, just so that we get some Likes/Favorites/Pins/+1s or Shares/Retweets/RePosts?

Well, if the above figure is anything to go by (and it is, because it has been researched from authentic sources, I’ve checked), then the answer is probably: YES!

Yes, we are social animals and we want to be accepted, appreciated and admired by the people we care about – and beyond.

But have we taken the humble photo album and shoved it away when we embraced this global photo-posting phenomenon via social media? I think so.

While I’m not in anyway suggesting that we cut down on posting photos, what I am suggesting are the following action points, which you may choose to read below or by watching this YouTube video down here:-

1. THINK Before Posting Photos!!

When you’re posting photos, please think before you do; especially if they are of children or the vulnerable. A lot of people aren’t aware that the photos can be very easily downloaded  via options provided by the social media platform (e.g. the ‘Download’ option at the bottom of photos in Facebook) or by clicks of a mouse (Right Click>Save As>Photo Downloaded). If you’re using Facebook and would like to prevent photos being downloaded by all and sundry, then you simply need to check the ‘Restricted’ or ‘Friends Only’ option and yours photo will not be made ‘Public’ (the small blue globe icon).

If you are making a photo ‘Restricted’ because you do not wish some contacts to see these photos, why do you have these contacts added to your Facebook list in the first place?

A little prioritisation (i.e. protecting privacy, or being polite to mere acquaintances) is all I am requesting here.

2. Why Are You Posting This Photo? 

Yes, we’re all entitled to a little showing off now and then, even a little good-humoured jealousy (e.g. “Aww, you went to Mauritius! I’m SO jealous! LOL”) does no harm.

But do you intend to poke or force down a point through the photos you are posting? Are you sure that’s the right thing to do?

According to TrendHunter.com and Paediatrics journal, a new phenomenon known as ‘Facebook Depression’ has come about which implies that teenagers and young adults in particular, being to exhibit classic symptoms of depression as a result of being on social media.

It’s not the social media platforms that cause this depression, it’s what being posted on it, especially photos. While social media has opened up communication paths, bringing us altogether, it has also given way for us to go OTT in posting photos, projecting a ‘Look At Me!’ image.

When people see that their contacts have something which they don’t, they can feel overwhelmed. For instance, those who are single-and-looking-in-vain can feel very upset (on the inside) when they see  their friends or acquaintances in photos all loved up with their partners. The person posting such photos may or may not realise that they’re actually causing hurt and tears. So, it’s high time we think a little before we go on a photo-posting spree.

3. Spare A Thought…

We do not realise how we are affecting our own network of contacts on social media, because we can’t see them; we cannot gauge their body language, or sense what has not been said, i.e. the gaps between the words.

Of course, we can experience all this when we have meet-ups, a concept methinks is receding into the ether as we become more and more dependent on social media and less and less bothered to even pick up the phone (do ya have WhatsApp?) nay meet up!

Sigh…

4. Social Media Platforms Are NOT Your Family Albums! 

Family albums can have as many lovey-dovey, schmoozy, cheesy, funny, wacky, photos as you like, because they’re personal and not for the world to see.

However, albums on Facebook, TwitPic, Instagram, Vine, Pinterest, etc. are essentially meant  for public, global viewing.

My suggestion is to have a selection of photos in your public albums to keep everyone in the loop, but not so many that people get bored, upset, or hacked off!

Oh and one more thing, if you feel a photo needs deleting, please go ahead and delete it.

5. The Different Purposes of Social Media Platforms

At times, all these platforms can blur and seem to be the same thing, but they are not.

To put it simply:-

Facebook  is for photos to share with your personal contacts. While drunkenly photos may entertain momentarily, can you imagine what would happen if your boss sees it? Yikes!

Twitter is for photos that convey a message, or make a point. If the photos are derogatory or insulting, these would be removed and your profile could be marked.

Pinterest is for photos that are meant for public viewing. If you wish to showcase a hobby, or introduce a new range of items, or your modelling portfolio, then this is the right platform.

Instagram/Vine is also for photos that are meant for public viewing. You can entertain your audience with funny images and little videos, but who in their right mind would want to see you binge drink? On the world wide web? Am I the only one cringing here?!

In short, before you decide to post photos on social media, please think about whether they would  bore, insult, or upset the viewing public!

Ciao For Now!

 

 

Candy Crush Cuties!

Hello to you, my dear Blogworms! :) 

I hope the summer has been treating you well and hasn’t been too punishing as it can be for those of you based in more tropical pastures.

For the past couple of months, I have been occupied with a game/app that has pretty much taken much of the world with such a sweet storm.

Yes, you’ve guessed it (although, I think the title of this post does give it away), I’ve been bitten by the Candy Crush Saga bug too!

 

And if you’re thinking, “has she only just discovered it now?” then my answer is, quite simply, YES – whatcha gonna do about it?!

Sarcasm aside, Candy Crush Saga has made me look at sweets, licorice, meringue and chocolate in a totally different light, as I’m sure it has for for a lot of people.

And so, with this in mind, I present to you a poem that I’ve just penned, called “Candy Crush Cuties”.

 

So, here goes…

Candy Crush Cuties 

There are red candies, yellow candies

And green candies for you,

There are blue candies, purple candies

And orange candies too!

There are wrapped candies, striped candies

And colour bombs to use,

There are candy rows and columns

And many patterns to choose.

There are jelly, licorice, meringue

And smothering chocolate as well,

There are mountains, canyons, hills

And meadows, where all these candies dwell.

Crush, Crush, Crush, Crush -

That’s the name of the game here.

Use your moves not in a rush

For the five lives are rather dear.

Give and take moves and lives

With your Facebook friends,

Spread the cheer with high-fives

And Celebrate the happy ends!

For are these not the duties of

Us Candy Crush Cuties?!

Happy Candy Crushing!

 

Why I Love British Comedy!

Dear Blogworms, Old and New,

Come, let’s talk about funnies few!

Well, those of you who’ve been reading my blog regularly know that I am a bit of a stickler for the tickler, some laughs, some witticisms and some sheer ‘hahaha’ madness!

I am the sort of person who prefers to divert herself from her daily stresses and struggles by watching something, funny!

I’m sure that I’m not the only one who finds that this is a good way of not dealing with their problems at hand. I am aware that such diversion also presents the risk of not dealing with the problems at all!

But more on that later…

The reason why someone genuinely funny (which is not necessarily ‘haha’ funny, mind you) can be cathartic – or even therapeutic – is quite simple. If such a person can live with their quirks and foibles, then so can I!

We feel compassion and sisterly affection for Miranda when we see her struggle with social (formal) occasions and trying to be ‘lux-ville in love’. We feel a strong sense of empathy for Pete and Sue who are ruffled and baffled by their three kids in Outnumbered. We sympathise with the innocence that a generation gap can bring about between parents and children, such as in Mrs Brown’s Boys (plus one vibrant ‘Girl – why did they not name this one ‘Mrs Brown’s Kids’ instead?) We identify with the sloppiness, stereotypical and prejudicial thinking portrayed by the characters in sketch shows, such as Come Fly With Me, Little Britain and The Catherine Tate Show.

 

Such sources of comedy have gone on to generate staggering commercial successes because of the strong senses of identification, empathy and perception that emanate authentically from them.

In these programmes, the characters and the situations that they encounter, help us find relief from our own daily striving. More importantly, reassurance can be found by watching them in that we are a) not alone in our suffering, b) more capable than we think we are and c) that we’re actually doing just fine – even if we think we’re not!

You see, human perception is very powerful – it can make us keel over with anxiety, freeze with fear and it can also make us emerge from so-called ‘dead-end’ situations, bruised but wiser.

Ken Sanes, is a US-based journalist and founder of Transparency Now, a website that focuses on spelling out what cultural products of mass consumerism (e.g. films, television, etc.) are really trying to say.

In an essay titled: “Situation Comedies and the Liberating Power of Sadism” Sanes observes that sitcoms “draw us into a more modest world, descended not from mythology, and day and night dreams, as is science fiction, but from comedy of manners, vaudeville and our tacit perceptions of everyday life. Their theme is our inability to conquer our petty desires as we go about the minor tasks of the day.”

This makes so much sense to me.  When I have money troubles, I stick on a Mrs Brown’s Boys DVD to remind me of how one woman raised a family of six all by herself. When I am under the weather, I watch Miranda whose issues with wind cheer me up in a jiffy. When I’ve had a tiff with my hubby/parents/in-laws, I resort to Outnumbered and chuckle along to what the Brockmans are coping with. When I’ve had a rough day at work, I switch to The Catherine Tate Show or Little Britain, or Come Fly With Me, where the spot-on ridiculousness reminds me of just how daft and ludicrous the world can be.

At the end of the day – which is when we usually curl up in front of the telly – a sitcom denotes a reason to laugh at the sort of follies we commit.

Sanes deduces this by saying “Between the permission to be imperfect and to know what we know; the interesting characters and situations; the depictions of friendship and intimacy; the commiseration, and happy endings, and, of course, the laugh and the jokes, the message we get is that life is good. That message may be a defence against despair but it is also a liberating truth we need to hear.”

This is why I believe that my pick-me-up has to undoubtedly be such wonderful British comedy programmes. Are they yours too?

 

Us And Them…

Hello, My Dear Blogworms,

How’s life?

No, I don’t mean it as a turn of phrase. How is life treating You…Really? 

The reason I ask is that irrespective of the changes that globalization is bringing about, if we did not belong to a particular ‘class’ we would find it difficult to create an identity for our own selves.

We know that what typically sets apart the classes from the masses are money, education, location, occupation, culture and lifestyle.

However, what really gets me curious is how we tend to attribute certain actions to certain classes.

For instance, according to certain media stereotypes, it’s only the ‘working class’ who supposedly use buses. How about those of us who work in The City (in ‘high-ranking’ jobs, I know, another label, sigh…) and use the bus because using cars in this particular area of London would be a criminal waste of money, fuel, time and not to forget the huffing and puffing of a finding a parking space!

My apologies, I digress.

Classes are also necessary for marketers to vivisect audience groups – i.e. from the masses – to whom they can fob off their products and services.

At the risk of sounding poetic, just like rivers confluence and then streamline into tributaries, as is the way Nature intends, so too we – the human populous – confluence and streamline to the diktats of politicians, businesses, the media, social norms, fashion trends, consumerism and other such man-made forces.

It does not matter how much we seen to know or not know regarding the matters of the world, because we allow ourselves to be swayed by these forces; sometimes with their consent and sometimes without.

Can we do anything about this? More importantly, should we do anything about this?

The short answer is: No.

Why?

Well, we have let these forces grow so powerful that these are now too powerful.

How?

We have allowed wars to take place, even though we did not want them; we have allowed political leaders to come up with policies and laws that favour some (e.g. the ludicrous hike in university tuition fees – an apparent way of breeding elitism) and that favour none (e.g. recent immigration policies that are doing nothing to curb immigration numbers but are keeping hardworking, law-abiding immigrant families apart).

We are given terms and conditions (that are printed in microscopic font) when we purchase, or subscribe to almost everything out there. These warn us of idiocies out there, but we succumb to them nonetheless because we choose not to read them – Yours Truly included!

So what?

So what indeed! If this is the attitude we take, is it any surprise that we fall for social inclusion and professional exclusivity?

As ultimately, we only really and truly care about our own selves.

Not the masses, not the classes – just our own selves!! 

Oneness

Greetings Dear Blogworms!

How’s everyone been lately?

Winter is the time of cooping up, staying indoors, banishing the cold and bitterness that the outside world throws at us uninhibited - and this year it has been in floods (i.e. in the UK)…sigh.

I’ve spent most of this February indoors, making my best attempts at being At One with Oneself (as discussed in a blog post a long while back).

While feeding on the best of British telly (especially sitcoms, what a veritable treat they are for our visceral senses and hearts to feast on) and making merry with a couple of heart-rending novels, Yours Truly feels like sharing a poem she has penned on such Oneness and it goes like this:-

Oneness

We’re at One,

When we’re with our beloved,

We’re at One,

When we are all by ourselves.

One can mean being l-one-ly,

One can mean just the one.

One can mean monochrome,

One can mean no-one.

One can bore,

When steeped in monotony.

One can adore,

When freed in fantasy!

One is either right or wrong,

To be welcomed in a throng.

One is either here or there,

To be scaled as per the fare!

One can mean one,

Just one boon or one bone,

Or just one last song…

One can be you,

One can be me,

One can make up ‘We’!