Ray Daley's Blog, page 66

Have a poem!

Rhymes from an alternate history

Marie Curie built a bomb,

She only had 1 mission.

To end the arms race for all time,

By achieving Nuclear fission.

Addressing a bad review

I’ll present the review first before I address the points raised by the reviewer.

I’m doing this on the blog because there’s a massive issue with Smashwords, you can’t talk to people who’ve written reviews. Which they REALLY need to sort out.

The Ground Beneath My Feet By Ray Daley

Review by: andy petrides on Dec. 09, 2013 :

oof… so many issues.

some spoilers follow…

This doesn’t even qualify as a rough draft… this is simple brainstorming, borrowing from a hundred movies we’ve all seen before.Much of the science makes no sense compared to what actually happens. Author needs to ask WHY and HOW when he writes things… for example, he writes that the ship can do everything, but its main function is to raise/teach one human to do basic things. Huh? Or that when they reach the planet they are to seed, the ship simply dumps a bunch of people on it to wander around… no probes/scans/tests/etc… technology we actually have today… just “go out for a walk!” also, why is the ship teaching about earth? (sounds of the ocean, etc) shouldn’t it be teaching about the planet they will seed? Or how about “skipping 20 yrs of development to avoid nasty puberty”… watch Bladerunner and see the issues about cloning/making adults with no experience with emotion, human interaction, etc. Unfortunately the science here reads like Flash Gordon… author should watch some Star Trek instead and study the morality tales behind the story, and back it up with ‘realistic’ science.

The only thing that was clever was the biblical idea of “the first man killed by a serpent”. That is a nice concept… think about what can be learned from this, and block out the story from there. Question everything you write- why are things happening? be cognizant of all the assumptions you make.

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And that was the review.

Let’s address what Andy had to say.

This doesn’t even qualify as a rough draft… this is simple brainstorming, borrowing from a hundred movies we’ve all seen before.

Actually Andy, the finished piece went through several edits.

Much of the science makes no sense compared to what actually happens.

This is a generalization.

for example, he writes that the ship can do everything, but its main function is to raise/teach one human to do basic things.

At no point do I ever say or even infer the ship can do everything. Its main function isn’t to raise 1 human to do basic things. Inflight its main function is to raise a human to be its Captain (hardly a basic thing), At planetfall it teaches them all the survival skills they will need on a new planet.

Or that when they reach the planet they are to seed, the ship simply dumps a bunch of people on it to wander around… no probes/scans/tests/etc… technology we actually have today… just “go out for a walk!”

The scans of the surface are clearly mentioned, the computer decides not to tell the Captain about the life it finds. And it hardly “dumps” them, it selects the safest place it can find. Also, all the people on the shuttle are armed. They are hardly being dumped naked in the middle of nowhere.

also, why is the ship teaching about earth? (sounds of the ocean, etc)

Reviewer clearly misread, it wakes the Captain to the sound of waves to keep him calm in a stressful situation. At no point do I ever mention anythning about teaching them about Earth.

shouldn’t it be teaching about the planet they will seed?

Again, I don’t think you actually read the piece very thoroughly, if at all. All the lessons it gives them are about survival on such worlds.

Unfortunately the science here reads like Flash Gordon… author should watch some Star Trek instead and study the morality tales behind the story, and back it up with ‘realistic’ science.

Actually Andy, I watch a LOT of Star Trek. The idea here was to move away from stories around Generation Ships & try a new approach to planet seeding. As for “realistic” science? It’s called fiction for a reason?

The only thing that was clever was the biblical idea of “the first man killed by a serpent”. That is a nice concept.

Finally! Something you DO like.

be cognizant of all the assumptions you make.

This could be applied to your review, in spades.

Me and Blade Runner.

I have a big place in my heart for the movie, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen most versions of it now (all bar 3 I believe) and I am more than familiar with both the world and its inhabitants.

Which is probably why I chose to write what eventually turned out to be my first piece of Blade Runner fanfic Blade Runner Time Line.

This was a project, I discovered there wasn’t a great deal of information known about Doctor Eldon Tyrell so I thought to myself that someone needed to correct this oversight.

And then decided that someone should be me.

So sure enough, I wrote a complete life history of the good Doctor including the creation of the various Nexus types right up to the moment Tyrell is killed in the movie. His story DOES continue after that but you’d have to read the Jeter books to find out more.

Having created a nicely detailed timeline which originally was just going to be my research for writing, I then actually wrote the story I’d intended to create when I started to compile the timeline. This story became my 2nd piece of Blade Runner fanfic The Process, a story about earlier Nexus models and how they were detected before the Blade Runner unit were formed.

I then rested on my laurels for a good while.

Until I got another idea a couple of days ago which I finally typed up today. It’s called “Father Figure” and it’s more about Eldon Tyrell (yes, again!) and an earlier Nexus model. It’ll be released eventually or submitted to the flash market, hopefully sometime next year.

This does not mean I am finished writing about Tyrell or the Blade Runner universe.

There are more stories to be told, more characters to explore, many more questions to answer and to ask.

I hope I have time enough.

End of the drought

I’d been struggling this month. Not to get ideas but to actually finish something.

I hadn’t started and finished anything since the 7th of November so when I finally committed pen to paper AND managed to reach THE END that was the first story I’d completed in just over a month.

Since starting to write seriously a little more than 2 years ago that’s been the single longest period I’ve gone without managing to finish a whole story.

It’s not exactly long, it was only 2 sides of A5 note paper but the fact was it got finished and it felt easy to do.

It literally just fell out of me through the pen onto the paper. Those are the stories I really like too.

And it was a Blade Runner piece.

Then to have that really cool Doctor Who dream (details on my Facebook status) just felt like a reward.

Final (original) ebook release of the year!

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/385259

http://www.feedbooks.com/userbook/32831/the-ground-beneath-my-feet

The Ground Beneath My Feet – A FREE original SF ebook, my last this year!

Definitions From A Writer

What state does a story exist in?

As far as I am concerned there is the obvious one.

Completed – Written, proofed, edited, released and out there for people to read. Also known as Finished.

Idea – Currently exists in your head only. To be written down.

Partial – The start, middle or end of a story. Also known as an Incomplete.

Framework – A story that exists as a description of what you want to write. Not an actual story. Aso known as a Layout.

Fragment – A few lines, a paragraph or a few sentences.

What kind of terminology do you use to describe a story in its various different states of existance as a writer?

Danny Baker’s Great Album Showdown (Series 1)

As the show has been picked up by BBC4 and will air new episodes (in January, according to Danny Bakers twitter feed) I decided to rewatch the first 3 shows (which originally aired on February of 2013) to make a list of all the albums that were chosen by Danny & his various guests.

The pickers of rock and pop were quite loud about stating artist & album name, those backing R&B weren’t quite as good.

In fact they were absolute SHIT considering one of them makes his living as a DJ and one of them used to be a SINGER!

So that’s my main complaint, when revealing the albums you’ve chosen, PLEASE make sure the camera can clearly see the title and the name of the artist. And then say BOTH of those nice and loud and clear so we hear them.

Trevor Nelson. Micha Paris.

Naming and shaming you both for you ineptitude.

Danny Bakers Album genre picks

Rock

Frank Zappa – We’re Only In It For The Money

Joni Mitchell – The Hissings Of Summer Lawns

King Crimson – In The Court Of The Crimson King

Led Zeppelin – Physical Graffiti

(Guest picks)

Frank Zappa – Hot Rats

Colosseum – Those Who Are About To Die Salute You

Queen – Sheer Heart Attack

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David Bowie – Ziggy Stardust

The Clash – London Calling

Lou Reed – Transformer

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Fleetwood Mac – Rumours

Pink Floyd – Dark Side Of The Moon

Supertramp – Crime Of The Century

Pop

T-Rex – Greatest Hits

Elton John – Captain Fantastic & The Brown Dirt Cowboy

The Ramones – Rocket To Russia

Michael Jackson – Off The Wall

(Guest picks)

Kate Bush – The Hounds Of Love

The Smiths – Hatful Of Hollow

The Sisters Of Mercy – First And Last And Always

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David Bowie – Hunky Dory

T-Rex – Tanx

Bob Dylan – Desire

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The Beatles – A Hard Days Night

Paul Simon – There Goes Rhymin’ Simon

Joni Mitchell – Court & Spark

R&B

Bill Withers – Live At Carnegie Hall

Millie Jackson – Still Caught Up

Stevie Wonder – Music Of My Mind

Al Green – Call Me

(Guest picks)

Stevie Wonder – Songs In The Key Of Life

Curtis Mayfield – Super Fly

A Tribe Called Quest – The Low End Theory

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Marvin Gaye – What’s Going On

Barry White – Stone Gon’

Prince – Sign O’ The Times

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Aretha Franklin – Lady Soul

Donny Hathaway – Everything Is Everything

Smokie Robinson & The Miracles – Make It Happen

What You’ve Done This Year

I thought as I am close to my last release of the year I would take stock and actually write down a list of everthing I’ve released, self-published or had published elsewhere this year.

Here goes:-

ebooks released through Smashwords & Feedbooks

Letters Home (Jan 1st)

Artificial Intelligence (Feb 1st)

The Mason Procedure (March 1st)

The Time On The Island (March 31st, April release)

Moments In A Crowd (May 1st)

First One There Dies (May 7th)

All The World In Wax (June 1st)

Dinner With Grandma (June 30th, July release)

Alan Rickman Will NOT Die (Aug 1st)

The Last Day With My Friends (In The Marble Orchard) (Sept 1st)

The Realisation (Oct 1st)

Service Provider (Oct 20th)

The Short Trip (Nov 1st)

Echo Beach (Nov 8th)

The Gallifrey Five (Nov 15th)

Visiting Hours (Nov 22nd)

Patient Review (Nov 29th)

The Ground Beneath My Feet (Dec 6th, to be uploaded on Friday)

18 titles.

Flash Fiction published

365 Tomorrows

Return From Red Zone – Jan 12th

Salary Man – May 28th

2 titles.

Linguistic Erosion

The Man Who Was Twelve Bears – Jan 16th

Ground Zero – Jan 19th

The Last Mighty One – Jan 24th

The Keepers, Kept – April 7th

The Armstrong Moment – May 15th

Come In Number 13, Your Time Is Up!- Aug 20th

6 titles.

Facebook

The Dream Of Space Flight – Feb 9th

Never Apart Until Then – May 3rd

The Pioneer – Jun 30th

Daddy I’ve Fallen For A Monster – Aug 4th

The Seven Mistakes A Ninja Makes – 23rd Aug

Death On The 7:15 from Roehampton -  Sept 27th

The Least Haunted House In The World – Oct 25th

7 titles.

33 complete stories released this year.

Almost 4 per month.

So what was your total?

Creativity from a slightly different angle

I’m currently rewatching Danny Baker’s Great Album Showdown (off Youtube, sorry Danny – it was the only way I could watch it again because those rotters who control Iplayer let it fall off the playlist) and it’s making me look at the world of creativity in a very different way.

Hearing people talk about vinyl albums, sleeve art and even the smell of a newly opened record are all amazing things to take in and try to understand as a writer.

Creativity is a visceral experience.

What you hear, what you see, what you feel, what you taste, what you smell and what you physically experience all add up to what you eventually write.

The human being is descended from an ape who came down from the trees and created language.

Language to tell the other apes “Hey, there’s a really good fruit tree in that direction” or “Look out for those things with the big teeth, I just saw one eating my mate Phil” (because obviously all ape-creatures had a mate called Phil).

From those early grunts and gestures we evolved the rich tapestry of many different languages that now exist. Some are long gone and forgotten. Some only exist as recordings.

There’s almost no culture that didn’t have a history of telling each other stories right back to the beginning of spoken language with early man around fires saying “That bit of land, there’s sabretooth tigers killing cavemen with rocks – don’t go there looking for food.” which is essentially the very first horror story.

Or the caveman seeing an eclipse for the first time telling his mates about that back at the cave “And the sun never came back, because it’d been eaten by a dinosaur” so he’s telling the first science fiction story or first piece of fantasy.

And it’s the same with writing. We still have access to stuff like cuniform, one of the oldest examples of a written language that is known to exist. Imagine your ancient Babylonian scholar, he’s sitting outside, maybe looking at the moon thinking

“That’s pretty“

or

“One day I’m going write about how a base up there has a disaster and is blown into space so the people on the base have to survive in space” and inadvertantly creates some early science fiction (It’s the plot for Space:1999 in case you didn’t recognise it) or he’s looking out at the boats on the rivers and thinks “Hm, a scientist who says ‘Rivers? Where we’re going we won’t need any rivers!’ (Back To The Future, only set on water).

We imagine.

We make shit up.

We lie on paper.

Because others get some form of entertainment from it.

Which is why as long as we can write stuff down, we will.

I have a brain!

I know so because I had it scanned this morning.

I had an MRI scan! On my actual brain!

That totally wasn’t the single most oppressive and claustrophia inducing experience I’ve ever had. NOT.

Left home just after 8:20am got to hospital just after 9am (pretty good considering the morning traffic in that area), had to find my own way to the MRI department because none of the volunteers were on duty at that time in the morning. Fortunately I’m REALLY good at reading signs and following directions so I made my way to the reception.

Waited about 5 mins there, then went through, got weighed (to make sure you ain’t too fat to get scanned – I passed easily) then was asked to get mostly naked as you can’t wear ANYTHING metal. So much for me wearing my tracksuit bottoms. I should have gone with my lycra running leggings. Anyway, disrobed, put on a backless gown (this is just for a head MRI, by the way) then sat in the waiting room.

And got bored. I think I actually went in eventually long after 10am (scheduled appt was 9:30am but they saw at least 3 emergencies before me), had the procedure explained, given earplugs (it’s bloody noisy) then had a thing put less a centimetre away from my face, very claustrophobic.

Then told to lie still for 15 mins. In a room where you’re all alone with only the noise of the machine making magnetic scans of your head for company. I nearly freaked out in the first five minutes, it was a bit difficult to breath but I just relaxed and started counting off minutes (eventually). I counted 11 mins by the time they took me out.

After that it was just go back out to a cubicle, get dressed and bugger off home.

It was gone 11am by the time I got home.