Ray Daley's Blog, page 31
June 29, 2016
Oh No They Don’t! (A Flash Fiction Story)
28 Jun 2012
“Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” she sang to herself as she looked out of the window at the night sky.
“That’s wrong” said a male voice from behind her.
“What is?” she asked.
“Stars, they don’t twinkle” he said. “It’s the constant orbit of large solid celestial bodies such as planets in front of them blocking their light source intermitantly. It’s an optical illusion, easily explained. They merely appear to twinkle”
“Oh,” she said. “Another dream ruined.”
The Element Of Doubt
11 May 2010
“Welcome to Element Of Doubt Burger, how may I help you?”.
“Whats the element of doubt?”.
“If I’m going to spit in your food or not. Should I expect a tip?”.
“Yeah, eat elsewhere”.
A Mistranslation, A Flash Fiction Story
3/7/12
A Mistranslation, A Flash Fiction Story by Raymond Daley
“We are very happy to meet you!” said the Earth Embassador offering his hand to the Grelvinian leader. Who promptly bit it off and ate it.
Guns were cocked and aimed, it took a calmer head to call for peace.
To find out what went wrong and why.
Time passed……
“You see sir, it was the translation circuits.” explained the head scientist.
“But what happened? He ate my hand!” said the Earth Embassador, nursing his bandaged stump.
“Ah, that’s quite a funny thing” said the head scientist. “despite what you said, he heard you saying you were happy to be meat for him!”
THE END.
The Naval Engagement, A Flash Fiction Story
The Naval Engagement, A Flash Fiction Story by Raymond Daley
The initial contact had been made.
The President rolled off his back onto the First Lady’s stomach.
It was a true all out Naval Engagement.
THE END.
June 28, 2016
The Story Of My Life (another poem)
The Story Of My Life by Ray Daley.
I’m not the star in the story of my life,
not even a bit-part actor plucked from the chorus.
I’m just the guy who happened to be walking by,
in the right place, at the wrong time.
I’ve got a few lines in this here performance,
the show they call LIFE, for whatever it’s worth.
Sometimes I’ll appear again, back by popular demand they say,
“bring back that guy, the one from that thing?”
So I’m not the star in the story of my life,
I haven’t even received a full script yet.
My walk-on part is significant in places,
destined to die in the penultimate act.
Dear Batman (a poem)
Dear Batman, by Ray Daley.
Dear Batman, you’re just an asshole with a really nice car,
A guy the criminal underworld has pushed WAY too far.
I’ve never seen you use Miranda once,
And that mask looks really stupid sitting on your bonce.
If you wanna fight crime, then just become a cop?
Otherwise don’t go around fighting criminals, just stop!
Seriously dude, you’re totally a billionaire!
Fuck what those creeps in make-up say, why should YOU care?
Just enjoy your life being Bruce Wayne!
Because when danger calls we know you’ll go off to fight again.
So dear Batman, you’re just an asshole with a really nice car,
And every fucker alive knows who you really are.
Adam West. Okay ?
The One Day Symphony (a poem)
The One Day Symphony
22/11/12
It’s only song that everyone sings, Wishing for this or that or things,
Waiting on the day the future brings, The number one song that everyone sings.
ODS, ODS, Wishing for more, Knowing much less,
Without the wish life is a mess, Better cross your fingers & wish away the stress.
You all know the words and the harmony, It’s the old One Day Symphony,
Will it get better and end this misery, Everyone sings The One Day Symphony.
One day, one day, Things will get better – come what may,
Everyone wish, everyone pray, Things will get better “one day.”
A poem about life
You can fool the people. Some of the people most of the time.
Most of the people some of the time, pulling the wool’s a heinous crime.
Some day soon you’ll wise up, close your eyes and see it all.
See the writing on the wall. You can never have it all.
Life is square, its not a ball.
The Little Boat (a poem)
Sitting in my little boat, I will need my overcoat,
If I sink or if I float, I will sail my little boat.
The little boat; it is my life, the stormy sea; the waves of strife,
They can sink me if they must, In myself I know I trust.
