Chrissy Anderson's Blog: Check out my Unsolicited Advice!, page 4

The male skinny jean feminine-on

I thought my biggest complaint about going to the mall last week was the staggering number of females browsing the racks in their pajamas. They weren’t just wearing plaid flannel pajama bottoms either. These women were wearing it all- the dirty slippers, the slept-in sweatshirts, greasy hair and eye boogers. They had on the whole ensemble.

But sadly, my disappointment with the folks at the mall didn’t end there. For it was the shocking number of MEN IN SKINNY JEANS that sent me home scratching...

Another one bites the dust

Welp girls, heartbreaker blew it. With her permission I’m sharing the email she sent to me this morning.

Dear Chrissy,

Per your advice, I went away with my fiance’s best friend so that we could try to sort out our feelings. I had hoped the end result of our weekend would be wedding jitters. It wasn’t. We slept together. It was almost like everything you wrote about in The Life List. Even though it felt completely natural to be with him, I cried the entire time. In fact, we both cried. We felt h...

Chapter 41- Invisible

February, 2000

With Kurt safely on the road to recovery, I’m back at my cottage and trying to catch up with everything going on at work. It seems like everyone…except Megan, is glad I’m back. I think the time apart did her and me some good though. Now that Leo’s long gone and the stress of juggling two men at once is over, I no longer feel the need to scare the crap outta her on a daily basis. In fact, I even made nice talk with her in the break room yesterday. I try to stay outta there at noo...

Chapter 32- Aloha

December, 1998

“Hell yeah, you’re going!”

“I can’t.”

“Tell me one good reason why you can’t go?”

“I’m in love with Leo.”

I regretted saying the words the minute they left my mouth.

“Hunny… sweetie… he moved on. Has he called you in the last three months?”

“No. But maybe…”

“For fuck sake, would you listen to yourself? You’re holding out for something that’s never gonna happen. Maui though, that can happen!”

“Gimme a break, what kind of guy takes a girl to Maui that he barely knows?”

“Duh, a rich guy tha...

Chapter 25- Game Over

July, 1998

When I started therapy, I compared myself to Francesca because of my affair, but I think it was a subconscious fear of being stuck in an unsatisfying marriage for the sake of my yet to be born children that made me connect with her the most. I truly believe Francesca would’ve followed her heart…her love, even if it meant leaving a man that most considered to be a perfectly good husband, if it wasn’t for her children. I believe she would’ve found a way to correct the mistakes of her...

Chapter 24- Kaboom!

June, 1998

When I get to Dr. Maria’s office, the lobby is empty. Sad Frumpy lady isn’t sitting in her usual spot and surprisingly, I’m a little worried about her. She doesn’t look like she’s in any shape to miss a therapy session. I want to ask Dr. Maria if she’s alright, but that would be kinda weird and she’s gonna think I’m weird enough when I tell her about my mischief with Leo.

“Well, you seem awfully happy today, Chrissy.”

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

“Things going well at home?”

Here we go.

“Actual...

Chapter 22- Stoned

Make up your mind

Decide to walk with me…

Make up your mind

And I’ll promise you

I will treat you well

My sweet angel

So help me, Jesus

(Possum Kingdom, The Toadies)

June, 1998

Thank God for my journal writing. That book has become my at-a-glance life saver at least ten times in the last week alone. Yesterday, just as I was wrapping up a meeting with Slutty co-worker, Kurt pulled into the parking lot to surprise me with Taco Bell. I guess to him nothing says “I love you” and “I’m trying” better...

Heartbreaker

I received an email this weekend via the ASKCHRISSY page and it absolutely broke my heart. It wasn’t completely different than the others sent to me, just a little more heartbreaking. I obtained permission from the sender to share it with you. Here it is, paraphrased with minor facts edited to protect her anonymity:

“Dear Chrissy, I fear I’m you, but without any courage.”

Hold, on…Right now you only have access to 20 chapters and from what I remember, I haven’t demonstrated a whole lot of coura...

Chapter 11- Leery

Please let me forget

all those sweet smiles

all of the passion

all of the heat, the peace, the pain

all those blue skies

where your words were my freedom

Please, don’t let me fall in love with you again

(Don’t, Jewel)

February, 1998

Until I see Dr. Maria again, the plan is to immerse myself in work. At work I don’t lie, cheat, or break hearts. I’m safe there. And it’s just another day in my safety net as I drive back to my office. I just left a lovely ass-ripping meeting with a slimy San Franci...

Chapter 4- Lost

Have you ever had everything you’d ever wanted

A good life, good friends and a loving companion

Take a hard look and pay real close attention

I threw it all away with reckless abandon…

Don’t judge me ’til you’ve walked a mile in my shoes

(Bartender, Keri Noble)

January 25, 1998

It’s noon when I finally open my eyes. Even though I know I’m alone, and I will be for another couple of days, I totally expect to get caught. So, I lay silent and still for as long as I can. After an hour passes and I know t...