J. Richard Singleton's Blog, page 9
May 17, 2014
#BringBackOurGirls ...assholes.
Al Qaeda is calling their press agents, and saying: "Hey, this isn't us. We don't practice sex slavery.... Death to Israel, death to Israel."
This is where you are now, dudes. You have to abduct girls to get laid. Personally I am confused as to what parts of the Koran says that sex slavery is to be encouraged--they would know this, too, if they knew how to read. Part of the real world is hearing thoughts that are offensive to you--including secular education, or "education," as it is also known. (Interestingly enough, most of the world's Muslims are illiterate. I'm not making this up. Arabic, Farsi--they can't read any of it.) It's asinine that Christians would deny reality to buttress their religious teachings, it's asinine when Muslims do it as well. Really Boko is fully living up to the Fox News' depiction of Muslims, Arabs, black guys and the poor. Congratulations. You're making Fox News sensible.
As so often the case, the turds have floated to the top, with Rush Limbaugh managing to mock the First Lady's use of Twitter to apply social pressure to Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan. I just wanted to share that. There are still turds in America, despite our attempts to advance women's rights in both the US and abroad. Whatever Obama might do, some Republicans will rally around evil. (Rightwingers defend Boko; leftwingers defend Bono, whose music is good.) Republicans will announce that Obama should do both more and less to rescue these girls--including ignoring the will of the Nigerian government and begin a military invasion of Nigeria.
I really want this to end up with a happy ending, but we all know that it's only a matter of how bad this situation is going to get.
This is where you are now, dudes. You have to abduct girls to get laid. Personally I am confused as to what parts of the Koran says that sex slavery is to be encouraged--they would know this, too, if they knew how to read. Part of the real world is hearing thoughts that are offensive to you--including secular education, or "education," as it is also known. (Interestingly enough, most of the world's Muslims are illiterate. I'm not making this up. Arabic, Farsi--they can't read any of it.) It's asinine that Christians would deny reality to buttress their religious teachings, it's asinine when Muslims do it as well. Really Boko is fully living up to the Fox News' depiction of Muslims, Arabs, black guys and the poor. Congratulations. You're making Fox News sensible.
As so often the case, the turds have floated to the top, with Rush Limbaugh managing to mock the First Lady's use of Twitter to apply social pressure to Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan. I just wanted to share that. There are still turds in America, despite our attempts to advance women's rights in both the US and abroad. Whatever Obama might do, some Republicans will rally around evil. (Rightwingers defend Boko; leftwingers defend Bono, whose music is good.) Republicans will announce that Obama should do both more and less to rescue these girls--including ignoring the will of the Nigerian government and begin a military invasion of Nigeria.
I really want this to end up with a happy ending, but we all know that it's only a matter of how bad this situation is going to get.
May 10, 2014
So...heard about what Don Sterling said?
I love that the breaking point was this chick having her photo taken alongside black people. Can we all agree on the hilarity of that? Can we all love that?
You also get a sense that there would be less controversy if he owned an NHL franchise or a NASCAR team--where saying black people shouldn't show up is kinda redundant. He would've been fined but not banned for life. Telling black people not to come to NBA games--really? Really that's like telling the lesbians not to come to an LPG tournament.
Here's my defense of him: Sterling was entitled to make racist comments in private without a nosy journalist recording him and saying: "You're busted!" The issue should be his broken promises to charities, shady business dealings, corruption and generally awfulness--not his personal opinion of African Americans. Now another recording just came out--possibly as a weird cover for the first recording, clarifying what he meant, but it feels like we all know what he really meant.
This entire tape controversy also distracts from Sterling's shady business dealings. This guy is a slumlord, and his wife was caught on tape posing as a housing inspector to harass some poor renters. Oh, and his kid shot a guy in the back and claimed self-defense.
This V. Stivi-whatever is clearly a nutjob, too, by the way. She clearly leaked the tape. Whatever good things that she might've done in her past, she's also a fame whore. If Sterling wasn't giving her money for sex, then he just wasted a few million on him, which makes Sterling stupid as well as sleazy and racist. According to the LA times, this was the Sterlings MO: Don would seduce a young woman with extravagant gifts, then when he broke the relationship off, his wife would harass the mistress to get some of the stuff back under the principle that it was common property. These two are amongst the worst human beings alive.
In the next few months, he will attempt to play on the public's sympathies by donating money and looking for black people to hang-out with (which will also require money). He will claim medical and psychiatric problems. But ultimately there's no treatment for being an asshole.
You also get a sense that there would be less controversy if he owned an NHL franchise or a NASCAR team--where saying black people shouldn't show up is kinda redundant. He would've been fined but not banned for life. Telling black people not to come to NBA games--really? Really that's like telling the lesbians not to come to an LPG tournament.
Here's my defense of him: Sterling was entitled to make racist comments in private without a nosy journalist recording him and saying: "You're busted!" The issue should be his broken promises to charities, shady business dealings, corruption and generally awfulness--not his personal opinion of African Americans. Now another recording just came out--possibly as a weird cover for the first recording, clarifying what he meant, but it feels like we all know what he really meant.
This entire tape controversy also distracts from Sterling's shady business dealings. This guy is a slumlord, and his wife was caught on tape posing as a housing inspector to harass some poor renters. Oh, and his kid shot a guy in the back and claimed self-defense.
This V. Stivi-whatever is clearly a nutjob, too, by the way. She clearly leaked the tape. Whatever good things that she might've done in her past, she's also a fame whore. If Sterling wasn't giving her money for sex, then he just wasted a few million on him, which makes Sterling stupid as well as sleazy and racist. According to the LA times, this was the Sterlings MO: Don would seduce a young woman with extravagant gifts, then when he broke the relationship off, his wife would harass the mistress to get some of the stuff back under the principle that it was common property. These two are amongst the worst human beings alive.
In the next few months, he will attempt to play on the public's sympathies by donating money and looking for black people to hang-out with (which will also require money). He will claim medical and psychiatric problems. But ultimately there's no treatment for being an asshole.
May 3, 2014
Some Darwin Awards 2014 Nominees and One Also-Ran
I'm going to let you all in on a little secret. Whenever anyone anywhere does anything stupid in this world, the first thing black Americans think is: Please don't be a black person. Lady tries to rob a convenience store naked from the waist down? "Don't be a black lady." Knock-out game? "Don't be black kids." Mayor caught smoking crack? "Don't be Marion Barry." (Fortunately that time was Toronto Mayor Bob Ford.) This thought came to my mind immediately upon learning that a kid had tried to hitch a ride to Hawaii in the wheelwell of a commuter jet, miraculously surviving the bitter cold and thin air of high altitude travel in an unpressurized container. This guy surely Googled how to sneak into a commuter jet's wheelwell but he didn't Google what would happen if you fly 20,000 feet in a non-pressurized compartment--where survival of the journey becomes more unlikely than possible. It turns out this kid originally came from Somalia, and though I do not know what desperation this young man was going through that made him think that this was a viable option, but it doesn't change that this was a dumbass move, and he barely avoided winning a Darwin Award.
When someone does something extremely dumbass, and the result of their stupidity is their own death--and they have failed to reproduce--they are to be nominated for the Darwin Awards. As dark as it might be to think about, really, it's for the best that some people don't have children. Outside forces did not cause their deaths--they'd brought it on themselves.
Also this week loon Bryon Smith was convicted of first degree murder in the deaths of two teens who had broken into his home. Like the George Zimmerman case, this defies traditional criminal charges: This is where the victim became the perpetrator, and the victim becomes wholly unsympathetic--and the one man left standing could control the narrative. The castle doctrine should've provided Smith with more authority to kill the intruders--a portion of self-defense erraticism that I actually support. However this guy was undone when he told the truth--he didn't attempt to whitewash what he'd done with conflicting accounts--unlike Zimmerman. Smith clearly tortured those kids--and clearly he should've either lied afterwards or claimed some mental ailment. (Plus they were white.) His inability to stage a cover-up has led to his arrest for the crime.
What is disturbing besides the kids' deaths was the way in which the mainstream media are covering it: Emphasizing how "innocent" and "popular" the white kids were--while burying the fact that they were breaking into homes when the shooting occured. Further they were shot multiple times wheras Trayvon Martin was shot once (Still, the same media that didn't question why Zimmerman had called the police when he didn't see the black kid commit a crime is now not questioning why the pretty white kids had broken into at least one home. The media bent over backwards to make a white girl look innocent while bending over backwards to make a black guy look guilty.) In all likelihood, they were trying to rob Smith's place, and their fun exploration into criminal behavior was interrupted a genuinely damaged individual with guns. What was a home invasion robbery was turned into a juvenile rite of passage because the criminals did not fit the profile and out of fear of appearing insensitive to the dead kids' families. Smith will pay for his crimes for the remainder of his life; but the media's coverage of this case has been inexcusable too.
When someone does something extremely dumbass, and the result of their stupidity is their own death--and they have failed to reproduce--they are to be nominated for the Darwin Awards. As dark as it might be to think about, really, it's for the best that some people don't have children. Outside forces did not cause their deaths--they'd brought it on themselves.
Also this week loon Bryon Smith was convicted of first degree murder in the deaths of two teens who had broken into his home. Like the George Zimmerman case, this defies traditional criminal charges: This is where the victim became the perpetrator, and the victim becomes wholly unsympathetic--and the one man left standing could control the narrative. The castle doctrine should've provided Smith with more authority to kill the intruders--a portion of self-defense erraticism that I actually support. However this guy was undone when he told the truth--he didn't attempt to whitewash what he'd done with conflicting accounts--unlike Zimmerman. Smith clearly tortured those kids--and clearly he should've either lied afterwards or claimed some mental ailment. (Plus they were white.) His inability to stage a cover-up has led to his arrest for the crime.
What is disturbing besides the kids' deaths was the way in which the mainstream media are covering it: Emphasizing how "innocent" and "popular" the white kids were--while burying the fact that they were breaking into homes when the shooting occured. Further they were shot multiple times wheras Trayvon Martin was shot once (Still, the same media that didn't question why Zimmerman had called the police when he didn't see the black kid commit a crime is now not questioning why the pretty white kids had broken into at least one home. The media bent over backwards to make a white girl look innocent while bending over backwards to make a black guy look guilty.) In all likelihood, they were trying to rob Smith's place, and their fun exploration into criminal behavior was interrupted a genuinely damaged individual with guns. What was a home invasion robbery was turned into a juvenile rite of passage because the criminals did not fit the profile and out of fear of appearing insensitive to the dead kids' families. Smith will pay for his crimes for the remainder of his life; but the media's coverage of this case has been inexcusable too.
April 26, 2014
A Woman's Nuclear Option
This week Lindsay Lohan revealed that her unprofessionalism during the shooting of her O! unscripted show was on account of her miscarriage. That truly was shocking, but it also doesn't explain her unprofessionalism in the years prior to her miscarriage.
Ladies, is that like the nuclear option for you? Is that the one thing that any woman can say to justify her behavior and end the conversation about some controversial matter? "I had a miscarriage." (The first nuclear option is "I was raped.") It's like: "I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage...but you still won the argument. Okay." As much as the feminists want to rise above this towards gender equality, there remains a difference between the genders, which allows for women to have this prerogative; and common decency allows us to give women a pass. There is nothing intellectual or academic about it.
We should take Lohan's word that she did suffer a miscarriage, if only because it would make us look terrible if we accused her of lying about such an awful event. But she will have trouble using it as an excuse for missing some later assignment, of course.
Ladies, is that like the nuclear option for you? Is that the one thing that any woman can say to justify her behavior and end the conversation about some controversial matter? "I had a miscarriage." (The first nuclear option is "I was raped.") It's like: "I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage...but you still won the argument. Okay." As much as the feminists want to rise above this towards gender equality, there remains a difference between the genders, which allows for women to have this prerogative; and common decency allows us to give women a pass. There is nothing intellectual or academic about it.
We should take Lohan's word that she did suffer a miscarriage, if only because it would make us look terrible if we accused her of lying about such an awful event. But she will have trouble using it as an excuse for missing some later assignment, of course.
April 19, 2014
Spider-Man sex scandal vs. Superman sex scandal: Who would win in a fight?
I've never been a fan of real-life heroes--and there's a reason why. In the past month, sex scandals have engulfed two men whose work I've otherwise respected: James Franco and Bryan Singer.
I've always liked James Franco--despite the fact that he was once in a longtime relationship with Marla Sokoloff, whom I really liked. Apparently he never had sex with Lindsay Lohan. He never smoked weed with Seth Rogen (and smoking weed with Seth Rogen seems to be a prerequisite to being Seth Rogen's friend). He is genuinely committed to art and education, as pretentious as that might sometime seem. He doesn't broadcast his sleazy behavior, and despite the fact that he always seems to be squinting, he seems like a good guy and not a Hollywood douche. This non-doucheness has taken a hit with his attempts last night to seduce an almost 18-year-old tourist who was just excited to meet James Franco.
Since then, there has been a full-court press from him to try to make light of it--he doesn't want to seem to be running from it, and that's smart. He went on Live... and SNL to talk about it--"Aren't I wacky? Isn't the Internet wacky? I'm James Franco!" Legally, he might be in the clear, certainly. It's legal in New York state for a man in his mid-30s to have sex with a 17-year-old. (Franco was born and raised in California.) There is a long, should be more shameful history of celebrities having sex with 17-year-olds--Wilmer Valderama, Woody Allen, Jerry Seinfeld. Certainly a precedence for doing it and escaping scrutiny. Morally, however, it raises the question of how young is too young for James Franco? Where does he draw the line?
Then there's the theory that this incident was done to promote his forthcoming indie with Emma Roberts, where he plays a gym teacher who enters into an inappropriate relationship with a 14-year-old. Appearing to be a shorteyes does not seem to be a good strategy for promotion of a single film, even for a man accustomed to such erraticism in the name of art.
The most realistic explanation was that Franco tried to get with a barely legal girl, and he overestimated how enamored she was with him. She was a fan--but not so much a fan for that. (How much has this worked in the past for him? Normally The Franco gets what he wants.) This girl really just liked his work; she probably grew up watching his movies. Her parents raised her not to have hook-ups with inappropriately older guys--and it's easy to forget how much older Franco really is compared to a teenager. (There's also the issue as to what he would've done if she'd said "sure." I think we can all imagine what he would've done.)
The case against Bryan Singer is much worse--not because he's gay, but because of the sordid nature of the allegations and the allegations of actual sexual contact, not just intended contact. Still, it seems not to be a coincidence that these allegations are surfacing right before the statute of limitations would expire and in the weeks before the biggest movie of Singer's career opens and the premiere of his show Black Box. It seems that, regardless of the truth, the accuser is attempting to maximize any legal settlement. Really, if Singer had been accused of this during last year's Jack the Giant Slayer, rape would've been the second worst thing he was capable of.
Singer has taken the exact opposite tact: He is avoiding unnecessary contact with the press. As a gay man, he must be especially sensitive about allegations that he's also a pervert. The American people have come a long way in accepting homosexuality as normal since the '90s. Time will tell if more men come forward, which will be the best indication as to whether the charges of the Hollywood gay sex parties leading to rape are true. If these allegations are true, I will be reluctant to watch further Bryan Singer movies, not that I wouldn't appreciate the memories that his work has given me in the past.
I've always liked James Franco--despite the fact that he was once in a longtime relationship with Marla Sokoloff, whom I really liked. Apparently he never had sex with Lindsay Lohan. He never smoked weed with Seth Rogen (and smoking weed with Seth Rogen seems to be a prerequisite to being Seth Rogen's friend). He is genuinely committed to art and education, as pretentious as that might sometime seem. He doesn't broadcast his sleazy behavior, and despite the fact that he always seems to be squinting, he seems like a good guy and not a Hollywood douche. This non-doucheness has taken a hit with his attempts last night to seduce an almost 18-year-old tourist who was just excited to meet James Franco.
Since then, there has been a full-court press from him to try to make light of it--he doesn't want to seem to be running from it, and that's smart. He went on Live... and SNL to talk about it--"Aren't I wacky? Isn't the Internet wacky? I'm James Franco!" Legally, he might be in the clear, certainly. It's legal in New York state for a man in his mid-30s to have sex with a 17-year-old. (Franco was born and raised in California.) There is a long, should be more shameful history of celebrities having sex with 17-year-olds--Wilmer Valderama, Woody Allen, Jerry Seinfeld. Certainly a precedence for doing it and escaping scrutiny. Morally, however, it raises the question of how young is too young for James Franco? Where does he draw the line?
Then there's the theory that this incident was done to promote his forthcoming indie with Emma Roberts, where he plays a gym teacher who enters into an inappropriate relationship with a 14-year-old. Appearing to be a shorteyes does not seem to be a good strategy for promotion of a single film, even for a man accustomed to such erraticism in the name of art.
The most realistic explanation was that Franco tried to get with a barely legal girl, and he overestimated how enamored she was with him. She was a fan--but not so much a fan for that. (How much has this worked in the past for him? Normally The Franco gets what he wants.) This girl really just liked his work; she probably grew up watching his movies. Her parents raised her not to have hook-ups with inappropriately older guys--and it's easy to forget how much older Franco really is compared to a teenager. (There's also the issue as to what he would've done if she'd said "sure." I think we can all imagine what he would've done.)
The case against Bryan Singer is much worse--not because he's gay, but because of the sordid nature of the allegations and the allegations of actual sexual contact, not just intended contact. Still, it seems not to be a coincidence that these allegations are surfacing right before the statute of limitations would expire and in the weeks before the biggest movie of Singer's career opens and the premiere of his show Black Box. It seems that, regardless of the truth, the accuser is attempting to maximize any legal settlement. Really, if Singer had been accused of this during last year's Jack the Giant Slayer, rape would've been the second worst thing he was capable of.
Singer has taken the exact opposite tact: He is avoiding unnecessary contact with the press. As a gay man, he must be especially sensitive about allegations that he's also a pervert. The American people have come a long way in accepting homosexuality as normal since the '90s. Time will tell if more men come forward, which will be the best indication as to whether the charges of the Hollywood gay sex parties leading to rape are true. If these allegations are true, I will be reluctant to watch further Bryan Singer movies, not that I wouldn't appreciate the memories that his work has given me in the past.
April 12, 2014
Is Katherine Heigl's reputation really worth $6 million?
I've had a thing for Katherine Heigl since Roswell. She was several years older than me, and her breasts made her look like a genius of some kind--possibly a rocket scientist. Contradictory, when she made it big on Grey's Anatomy, I began to lose interest in her, my teen infatuation abated by both the passage of time and the new hype that surrounded her.
Recently the drugstore chain Duane Reade used Heigl's image in an ad without her consent, and Heigl in turn sued--understandably. This begs the question: Is Katherine Heigl's reputation still worth $6 million? If the drug store had done this above board, would Heigl have received $6 million for her endorsement? No, certainly not in 2013. This suit is to make herself look better, reminding us all of the charity set-up in memory of her late brother and that Katherine Heigl still exists.
She is allegedly terrible to work with. She chain smokes. She was allegedly one of the driving forces to get Isaiah Washington fired from Grey's. On the set of Roswell, she was frequently late, missing her call-time intentionally. Not because of some emergencies but because she respected the production so little that she didn't even care to be on time. (This anecdote is from the interview that she gave in a 2006 FHM interview.) She was actually the biggest star on that WB show, it should be noted--having worked with both Gerard Deperdieu and Steven Seagal in Under Siege 2 (no--that was big)--and so it is easy to imagine why she thought she was gracing the teen sci-fi show with her presence. Her mother has been described as terrible too.
Despite Heigl's pluses--her apparently good marriage, her decision to adopt children, her sobriety. She might be totally loyal to her friends like TR Knight and her family (like many Mormons), she still manages to be seen as a pill. She does not work with actors more than once. Her greatest movie--Knocked Up--was derided by her, and she hasn't worked with Judd Apatow since.
The people you meet climbing the ladder of Hollywood success are the people you see during your downfall, and Heigl has been freefalling. This can be summed-up by one damaging assessment: In a 2013 Forbes article, she was linked to both Adam Sandler and Reese Witherspoon as the most overpaid stars in Hollywood. Hollywood will allow any matter of bitchiness or perversion, as long as the talent is commercial or critically successful.
I think a career-revival is possible, though. Yes, her greatest work has since been voice-acting in the animated The Nut Job--although no one sees a talking squirrel movie for Katherine Heigl; they see it because squirrels are awesome. She'll probably be returning to TV in the fall, although returning to TV can be seen as acknowledging defeat--but the low-point was still probably the Nyquil commercial, so the only place from here is up. (Oddly enough, the world didn't need any more Katherine Heigl movies.) What remains of her career is to be seen.
Recently the drugstore chain Duane Reade used Heigl's image in an ad without her consent, and Heigl in turn sued--understandably. This begs the question: Is Katherine Heigl's reputation still worth $6 million? If the drug store had done this above board, would Heigl have received $6 million for her endorsement? No, certainly not in 2013. This suit is to make herself look better, reminding us all of the charity set-up in memory of her late brother and that Katherine Heigl still exists.
She is allegedly terrible to work with. She chain smokes. She was allegedly one of the driving forces to get Isaiah Washington fired from Grey's. On the set of Roswell, she was frequently late, missing her call-time intentionally. Not because of some emergencies but because she respected the production so little that she didn't even care to be on time. (This anecdote is from the interview that she gave in a 2006 FHM interview.) She was actually the biggest star on that WB show, it should be noted--having worked with both Gerard Deperdieu and Steven Seagal in Under Siege 2 (no--that was big)--and so it is easy to imagine why she thought she was gracing the teen sci-fi show with her presence. Her mother has been described as terrible too.
Despite Heigl's pluses--her apparently good marriage, her decision to adopt children, her sobriety. She might be totally loyal to her friends like TR Knight and her family (like many Mormons), she still manages to be seen as a pill. She does not work with actors more than once. Her greatest movie--Knocked Up--was derided by her, and she hasn't worked with Judd Apatow since.
The people you meet climbing the ladder of Hollywood success are the people you see during your downfall, and Heigl has been freefalling. This can be summed-up by one damaging assessment: In a 2013 Forbes article, she was linked to both Adam Sandler and Reese Witherspoon as the most overpaid stars in Hollywood. Hollywood will allow any matter of bitchiness or perversion, as long as the talent is commercial or critically successful.
I think a career-revival is possible, though. Yes, her greatest work has since been voice-acting in the animated The Nut Job--although no one sees a talking squirrel movie for Katherine Heigl; they see it because squirrels are awesome. She'll probably be returning to TV in the fall, although returning to TV can be seen as acknowledging defeat--but the low-point was still probably the Nyquil commercial, so the only place from here is up. (Oddly enough, the world didn't need any more Katherine Heigl movies.) What remains of her career is to be seen.
April 5, 2014
Arianators vs. McCurdians: Who will win? Ah, I don't care.
Sadly I do care. It's bad enough Ukraine is breaking up--Sam and Cat can't break up! Those two possible teen lesbians need to stay together both for their babysitting business and for Nick's bottom-line. (That's what's the show's about, right? They're lesbians, right?)
McCurdy's PG-rated sexting pics have been cited as a reason, as has the allegation that Grande is paid more than her. It makes sense that Grande would be paid more than her: She has MORE THAN TWICE the Twitter followers, a Grammy nod (she didn't win), her YouTube vids have hundreds of millions of views. She is delightful. Grande has a more successful career ahead of her--not that McCurdy, too, can achieve when she leaves the safety of the Nick network, which looks like it will occur sooner rather than later. (Meanwhile Victoria Justice was spotted on Sunset Blvd, offering handies. Oooooh!!!... She blew her chance at fame.)
Oh, and they're in their 20s! Don't look at me that way!!!
McCurdy's PG-rated sexting pics have been cited as a reason, as has the allegation that Grande is paid more than her. It makes sense that Grande would be paid more than her: She has MORE THAN TWICE the Twitter followers, a Grammy nod (she didn't win), her YouTube vids have hundreds of millions of views. She is delightful. Grande has a more successful career ahead of her--not that McCurdy, too, can achieve when she leaves the safety of the Nick network, which looks like it will occur sooner rather than later. (Meanwhile Victoria Justice was spotted on Sunset Blvd, offering handies. Oooooh!!!... She blew her chance at fame.)
Oh, and they're in their 20s! Don't look at me that way!!!
March 29, 2014
Why do we all hate Anne Hathaway?
On paper, Anne Hathaway should be this American sweetheart. She's been big since 2001's Princess Diaries, where she discovered she was pretty if she straightened her hair--and no other actress has so perfectly balanced kids movies with adult fair than she does. A good reason to explain hatred of her is an incident a couple years back, where she was emerging from a talkshow appearance, signing autographs, and she refused to sign a sexy photo of her from Esquire because there were kids around. She refused to sign a shot that she'd posed for. Because...the kids?
She's the younger Gwyneth Paltrow. She talks like she went to college, but she never went to college. She's the kind of chick who listens to records because "the music sounds better," and she probably knits and drinks craft beers. When she become a mother, she'll be one of those mothers who use cloth diapers and feeds her kid organic baby food. We have to hate her poise, because the poise seems to come from pretentiousness, not from genuine modesty.... She's the much younger Meryl Streep--or the slightly older Jennifer Lawrence.
She has been tainted by guilt from association--namely her association with Italian con artist Raffaello Follieri--and how douchey is it that her boyfriend was named "Raffaello"? They adopted a douchey dog together--all the while he was scamming people out of millions. She would later joke about it on SNL; however this association speaks volumes about her. She either knew that her boyfriend was cheating people or (more likely) this was evidence that she fits the stereotype of the dim bulb actress. (Where's your pretend college education now, college-girl?) Even Lindsay Lohan has never had a relationship with a serious felon--none that we know about.
Her great knockers and booty belie a face that is divisive in how hot we find her. Some people don't view her as attractive, especially her bulbous nose. (I'm okay with her face.) Her decision to crop off her beautiful hair--though admirable for her role in Les Miserable--didn't help her appearance. It seems like her hair isn't growing back, right? And her great big boobs are in danger of sag.
Personally, I will continue watching Hathaway movies. All the while glad that I do not know her in real life. She seems awful.
She's the younger Gwyneth Paltrow. She talks like she went to college, but she never went to college. She's the kind of chick who listens to records because "the music sounds better," and she probably knits and drinks craft beers. When she become a mother, she'll be one of those mothers who use cloth diapers and feeds her kid organic baby food. We have to hate her poise, because the poise seems to come from pretentiousness, not from genuine modesty.... She's the much younger Meryl Streep--or the slightly older Jennifer Lawrence.
She has been tainted by guilt from association--namely her association with Italian con artist Raffaello Follieri--and how douchey is it that her boyfriend was named "Raffaello"? They adopted a douchey dog together--all the while he was scamming people out of millions. She would later joke about it on SNL; however this association speaks volumes about her. She either knew that her boyfriend was cheating people or (more likely) this was evidence that she fits the stereotype of the dim bulb actress. (Where's your pretend college education now, college-girl?) Even Lindsay Lohan has never had a relationship with a serious felon--none that we know about.
Her great knockers and booty belie a face that is divisive in how hot we find her. Some people don't view her as attractive, especially her bulbous nose. (I'm okay with her face.) Her decision to crop off her beautiful hair--though admirable for her role in Les Miserable--didn't help her appearance. It seems like her hair isn't growing back, right? And her great big boobs are in danger of sag.
Personally, I will continue watching Hathaway movies. All the while glad that I do not know her in real life. She seems awful.
March 22, 2014
Well, at least Lindsay Lohan's vagina is getting a lot of work.
Apparently Lindsay Lohan recently compiled a list of the 36 celebrities whom she'd banged, then accidentally(?) let the list get out to the media. On one hand, it seems high for a woman in her late 20s; on the other, it seems about right for Lindsay Lohan.
So far, none of the men on this list have complained about being, ha, linked to Lindsay Lohan. That's another reason to call this list legitimate. At this point, I would think more men would be embarrassed of having had sex with her than being proud of it. It's just no longer something you need to brag about--much like your AAA membership or your American Express card. (Have I had sex with Lindsay Lohan? No, let's say I didn't.)
As terrible as Mila Kunis might be--and she is terrible--you never hear about her clubbing or her coke use or her unprofessionalism. (Mila Kunis does her coke in private.) We can blame Lohan's parents, her apparent ADHD, her addictions--and we should, and there might be something medically wrong with her besides the "disease of addiction"--but ultimately her career went off the path when she became an adult, and she was no longer moored to having to protect her image as a Disney star. A large part of Lohan's credibility problem comes from Lindsay Lohan. At this point, she chooses celebration over due diligence in both her personal and professional lives. She is the only white girl with more mugshots than a rapper. The most reflection she does is to compile a list of guys whom she banged.
Lohan's career went south because she did not exploit her youth--she was not content to churn out mediocre but profitable PG13 films for the tween crowd. The moment that she turned 18, she wanted to be taken seriously as an adult, but she wasn't a serious adult. She was chewed out for her tardiness and unprofessionalism in a 2006 open letter from Morgan Creek Productions CEO James G. Robinson--which is an almost unheard of act of criticism, especially against the star of your own project. She is now reduced to doing indie films, because no major producer wants to touch her. (Ha.)
Lindsay Lohan has had the quickest fall of any celebrity ever, going from the next Julia Roberts in 2004 to a washout in 2006; she was quickly eclipsed by just about the entire cast of Mean Girls except Lacey Chabert (whom I love), having started to refuse to show up on time and sober. Amy Poehler, who's over a decade older, eclipsed the young woman. Lohan became a spoof of herself. She no longer dares rise to the level of people's low expectations of her; she manages to sink further. (It's not an issue of a gender double standard: Charlie Sheen has assloads of money from 2 1/2 Men, so there's really no humiliating that guy at this point. He was proficient when he needed to be.) She briefly retired from acting to be a lesbian--no one having told her that she she could do both.
Eighteen was the turning point, where she started the customary attempt of the teen starlet to shed her wholesome image, which is beneficial in one's youth but restrictive in adulthood. But she attempted to embrace her womanhood immediately after turning 18, not taking the time to enjoy the opportunities afforded to a woman who could still play a teenage girl. Worst, the projects that she chose were objectively awful. She worked with the late Robert Altman, the end.
She returned to acting, looking older and more out of shape than her youth would suggest. Her unique raspy voice is now just terrible. It seems unlikely that there will be a comeback for Lindsay Lohan. Her attempts to stage a comeback will be torpedoed as long as she's still in the equation.
So far, none of the men on this list have complained about being, ha, linked to Lindsay Lohan. That's another reason to call this list legitimate. At this point, I would think more men would be embarrassed of having had sex with her than being proud of it. It's just no longer something you need to brag about--much like your AAA membership or your American Express card. (Have I had sex with Lindsay Lohan? No, let's say I didn't.)
As terrible as Mila Kunis might be--and she is terrible--you never hear about her clubbing or her coke use or her unprofessionalism. (Mila Kunis does her coke in private.) We can blame Lohan's parents, her apparent ADHD, her addictions--and we should, and there might be something medically wrong with her besides the "disease of addiction"--but ultimately her career went off the path when she became an adult, and she was no longer moored to having to protect her image as a Disney star. A large part of Lohan's credibility problem comes from Lindsay Lohan. At this point, she chooses celebration over due diligence in both her personal and professional lives. She is the only white girl with more mugshots than a rapper. The most reflection she does is to compile a list of guys whom she banged.
Lohan's career went south because she did not exploit her youth--she was not content to churn out mediocre but profitable PG13 films for the tween crowd. The moment that she turned 18, she wanted to be taken seriously as an adult, but she wasn't a serious adult. She was chewed out for her tardiness and unprofessionalism in a 2006 open letter from Morgan Creek Productions CEO James G. Robinson--which is an almost unheard of act of criticism, especially against the star of your own project. She is now reduced to doing indie films, because no major producer wants to touch her. (Ha.)
Lindsay Lohan has had the quickest fall of any celebrity ever, going from the next Julia Roberts in 2004 to a washout in 2006; she was quickly eclipsed by just about the entire cast of Mean Girls except Lacey Chabert (whom I love), having started to refuse to show up on time and sober. Amy Poehler, who's over a decade older, eclipsed the young woman. Lohan became a spoof of herself. She no longer dares rise to the level of people's low expectations of her; she manages to sink further. (It's not an issue of a gender double standard: Charlie Sheen has assloads of money from 2 1/2 Men, so there's really no humiliating that guy at this point. He was proficient when he needed to be.) She briefly retired from acting to be a lesbian--no one having told her that she she could do both.
Eighteen was the turning point, where she started the customary attempt of the teen starlet to shed her wholesome image, which is beneficial in one's youth but restrictive in adulthood. But she attempted to embrace her womanhood immediately after turning 18, not taking the time to enjoy the opportunities afforded to a woman who could still play a teenage girl. Worst, the projects that she chose were objectively awful. She worked with the late Robert Altman, the end.
She returned to acting, looking older and more out of shape than her youth would suggest. Her unique raspy voice is now just terrible. It seems unlikely that there will be a comeback for Lindsay Lohan. Her attempts to stage a comeback will be torpedoed as long as she's still in the equation.
March 15, 2014
The Last Flight of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370...
There's something inherently wrong about something so big with so many people just disappearing, even in something as vast as an ocean. It taps into our modern fear of flying. Add to that the bizarre behavior of the person or persons piloting the plane in its final hours, and the fact that at least two passengers were travelling with other people's papers. Add to that there's the problem with Malaysia's failure to communicate what's going on in a timely matter, not because they're concealing information to protect their investigation but because they're shit communicators.
It is easy to say "terrorist." However, no terrorists have yet claimed credit for this possible attack. I will reserve the "terrorist" for when news become available that there were terrorists involved.
Putting on my Sherlock Holmes-style seersucker hat, I believe the pilot or co-pilot had a mental issue and killed the other, and tried to steal the plane, perhaps sending it into the ocean in the midst of his psychosis. A faulty skyjacking seems to be the theory in vogue. The duo using stolen passports could mean everything or nothing. Strange coincidences happen all the time across history.
Above all, we do not know, and can only wait to find out.
It is easy to say "terrorist." However, no terrorists have yet claimed credit for this possible attack. I will reserve the "terrorist" for when news become available that there were terrorists involved.
Putting on my Sherlock Holmes-style seersucker hat, I believe the pilot or co-pilot had a mental issue and killed the other, and tried to steal the plane, perhaps sending it into the ocean in the midst of his psychosis. A faulty skyjacking seems to be the theory in vogue. The duo using stolen passports could mean everything or nothing. Strange coincidences happen all the time across history.
Above all, we do not know, and can only wait to find out.
