Linda Hoye's Blog, page 199

Come to the Fair

When I was growing up in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan there was great excitement among my friends and my sister once a year when the fair came to town. What we called “the fair” was really more of a carnival with a Ferris wheel, tilt-a-whirl, bumper cars, and, for the very young, little boats and cars that went round and round like a merry-go-round of sorts.

The fair never excited me much. I had a weak stomach and could never go on any of the rides and the cacophony of noise and crowds of people overwhelmed me. It’s been more years than I can remember since I’ve been to a fair of any kind.

This weekend Gerry and I attended the Mother Earth News Fair in Puyallup, WA. This, I discovered, is the kind of fair I’ve been waiting for.

We attended workshops on DIY solar, seed saving, renewable energy, heritage goats, and living simply. We were inspired by a talk given by Bob Moore, founder of Bob’s Red Mill, and his biographer Ken Koopman. Ken has written a book called People Before Profit: The Inspiring Story of the Founder of Bob’s Red Mill. I’ve been a fan of Bob’s Red Mill products for a long time; now I’m a fan of the business in general and will make a point of supporting the brand as much as I can in the future. This is the type of business I can get behind.

We came away from the exhibitor booths with a plethora of information (and some supplies) for cheese making, heirloom gardening, seed saving, renewable energy, heritage goats, and many other things. My mind is still swirling and full of projects and things I want to do.

Later in the afternoon we headed over to check out the poultry, livestock, and fiber arts and I fell in love many times over.

We were exhausted at the end of the day, but inspired and filled with anticipation for planning our retirement dreams.

Two Hearts Launch Day!

Today is the day I’ve been waiting, for what seems like, my entire life for. Book Launch Day!

I’m pleased to announce that Two Hearts: An Adoptee’s Journey Through Grief to Gratitude is officially available for purchase in both print and Kindle format at Amazon in the US, the UK, Germany, France, Italy, and Spain. I also have print copies available for anyone local wishing to purchase a copy.

I’m so sorry, Canadian friends, it’s not yet available on Amazon.ca. Grrr. You can order from Amazon.com but shipping will kill you. I’ll let you know as soon as it becomes available on Amazon.ca; in the meantime please feel welcome to contact me about getting a copy. As you know, I’m often in the “old country” and am happy to mail books while I’m there.

I’m excited to be over at Women’s Memoirs talking about my decision to self-publish today, and tomorrow I’ll be at Subplots By Grace talking a bit about my adoptee journey. I hope you’ll stop by and leave a comment or ask a question.

I have the day off work so I’ll be spending some time in my “other office” (read: Starbucks) getting some book-related things done. Following that, I’m looking forward to puttering in the garden (well, perhaps not as it seems a monsoon has settled in for the weekend), playing with the dogs, and practicing inhabitation.

This evening, Gerry and I will be enjoying a quiet dinner on the waterfront to mark the occasion. It will be a quiet celebration. Just the way I like them.

Flying High

This Memorial Day weekend has flown by and it been filled with an assortment of blessings!

On Friday I drove back to Canada and back so I could pick up my new glasses and contact lenses from my optometrist. I’ve gone to the same optometrist for thirty-five years and I can’t bear the thought of trying to find a new one–even if it means I have to travel to a different country once a year to see him. (Do you remember that old movie called Same Time Next Year?! There’s a blog post coming one of these days. I can feel it.)

It might be time for me to switch from wearing contacts to glasses, at least some of the time. These are the new ones I just got–I love them! Not only do I like the way they look on me, I love the way the progressive lenses allow me to see things in the distance and close up at the same time. I’ve worn them all weekend and it’s been incredible! Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve been able to see the food on my plate clearly?! What a treat!

The visit to Canada also provided an opportunity to have a visit with my BFF. Time spent with her is like food for my soul…I guess you could say we enjoy having soul food together!

For Gerry’s last birthday I gave him a flight lesson and on Saturday he took it. The day couldn’t have been more perfect for flying!

 

We had an early-morning phone call on Saturday around 3:00am letting us know that our third grandchild had arrived! Welcome to the world Peyton Mae Sydney Hoye!

Yesterday, after finding out that our newest grandbaby was a girl, was a shopping day! What a treat to find out that all of the baby stores had Memorial Day sales going on!

Today has been a good day too. Gerry golfed this morning and I took advantage of the time to get some things done in the kitchen. How gratifying it was to putter around getting dinner in the slow cooker, another big batch of bananas in the dehydrator for the grands, and twelve jars of beans canned! It truly is the simple things that satisfy.

Today, I’ve been in the Woman Cave getting some things done and preparing for the official launch of Two Hearts: An Adoptee’s Journey Through Grief to Gratitude this Friday. In addition to some online housekeeping and responding to email I’ve been getting ready to go out on the road for my book blog tour. Throughout June I’ll be a guest on some special sites and giving away a book or two.

As always, I hope your weekend has been equally as special however you chose to spend it.

Fourteen Words

They came to me out of nowhere this morning.

Fourteen words.

They were familiar and I wondered where they came from and why they had suddenly popped into my mind, so I Googled them to see if they could be attributed to anyone in particular. I found them credited to Reverend Run, Dolly Parton, and the ever-popular, Anonymous. (If you know the real source of them, please let me know.)

“Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.”

I am busy, it’s true. Sometimes I know that I get too caught up in doing but I’ve been consciously trying not to do that this year. So, I’ve been enjoying spending more time in the kitchen trying new recipes and I’ve found a sense of fulfillment in gardening. (Check out my gardening blog to see how I’ve been spending my time recently.)

Ah, but perhaps these home-focused pursuits run the risk of becoming all-consuming as well.

Perhaps these fourteen words were reminding me that I need to be more of a Mary than a Martha.

Perhaps these fourteen words were pointing me to seventeen other words:

“You are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.” Luke 10:41

Or maybe fifteen other words:

“Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:41

Do you ever find yourself in the role of a human doing instead of a human being? Surely, I can’t be the only one. How do you maintain that balance, that focus on what is worthy of your attention?

Friday Fave Five…Random Acts of Kindness…and a Winner!

What a week! It’s been jam-packed filled with awesomeness!

I’m being unconventional with my Friday Fave Five today because I’m fifty-three years old and I just dang well feel like it!

1.  Early this week it was warm, dare I say hot, and Gerry and I were able to enjoy patio time after work.  There’s nothing like patio time to help me put the workday behind me and settle in to inhabitation.

2.  I came across something that’s all over the blogosphere this week. Angela and Becca at The Bookshelf Muse have started a Random Acts of Kindness Blitz. The concept is simple: share your appreciation with those who have helped or supported you along your writing path. I’m blitzing my sweet friend Kim Michele Richardson, author of the powerful memoir, The Unbroken Child. Kim has a heart of gold and I’ve appreciated our conversations about writing, books, publishers, and just stuff. Huge hugs, Kimmi!

3.  I love this post I came across on Annette Gendler’s blog. She’s been doing a color list series where she challenges readers to evoke a color in their writing without mentioning the color by name. This week the color was beige. Think about it. What words would you use to evoke a shade of beige?

4.  Michael Hyatt reminded me that sometimes the best thing we can do is to step back and let what is going to happen, happen. Do you ever find yourself tied up in knots trying to force something? I sure do. The words of Michael’s father “Son, don’t force it” resonated with me this week.

5. The big excitement around the Hoye house this week was receiving the box of promo copies of Two Hearts on Tuesday  and in honor of that event I’m giving away a copy to one of the readers who left a comment on my Tuesday post.

Using the scientific method of writing everyone’s name on a small piece of paper, closing my eyes, mixing them all up, and choosing one from the pile I selected a winner this morning!

So, (drum roll please), the winner of a signed advance copy of Two Hearts: An Adoptee’s Journey Through Grief to Gratitude is Becky Lane!

How Our Days Inspire the Page

I’m delighted to welcome Joanne DeMaio to A Slice of Life Writing today. Joanne was one of the first people I met online when I first started my blog four years ago. Over the years I’ve enjoyed learning more about living a choice life and owning our choices from her. More recently I’ve been celebrating the release of her first novel, A Whole Latte Life. Welcome Joanne!

I find that real-life always provides the best writing inspiration.  Shortly before I began writing  Whole Latte Life, several friends, for different occasions, planned weekend outings to New York City.  So I thought that a weekend outing with friends in the city would resonate with women readers.  And such an outing is just filled with drama and plotting possibilities! So I launched my novel from that situation.

But real-life includes more than experiences.  It includes settings from our days, too.  My novel’s settings are reflections of places important to me.  The town of Addison is a blend of the two towns I consider home.  The coffee shop across the street from the Green with its wishing fountain, the cove, the historic homes, these are all places I’ve been to in reality.  The seaside setting of Anchor Beach is drawn from the time I’ve spent at the Connecticut shoreline for many summers of my life.  To me, place is almost a character and so I’m very aware of the settings around me and their details that can build a story.

As an author, I find that the best recipe for writing is to take these different aspects of our own lives, bring them together and then ask a question of them.  Consider issues readers might wonder about and explore them on the page with the framework that life itself has brought to your story.

Thanks for hosting me today, Linda, to share my own “slice of writing life.”  Happy writing to all ~ Let your days inspire the page!

Joanne DeMaio is an author of contemporary women’s fiction, blending family, coffee and  friendship on the page. Her novel Whole Latte Life is an Amazon best seller in Women’s Fiction/Friendship as well as a Kirkus Reviews Critics’ Pick. In addition, her music essays have appeared in literary journals, celebrating her passion for song, in print. Joanne lives with her family in Connecticut. To learn more, visit Joannedemaio.com.

Got Books?

Why yes, I DO have books!

There was a box containing copies of Two Hearts: An Adoptee’s Journey Through Grief To Gratitude  waiting for me at the door when I got home from work this afternoon!

The countdown has started, it’s just sixteen days until the official launch!

I’m thankful for every one of you who encouraged me over the past few years or shared your own adoption story with me, and it’s in this spirit of gratitude that I’d like to give away an advance copy of  Two Hearts.

To be entered in the drawing please leave a comment here between now and Friday when I’ll draw the winning name. I’m also giving away two copies on Goodreads on May 31 so you have another opportunity to win by entering over there.

Let the celebration begin!

Sunny Sunday Afternoon

It’s a beautiful, warm, sunny Mother’s Day afternoon here in the Pacific Northwest. We’ve been outside this afternoon tending to the garden and now it’s time to settle in with a glass of iced tea and books.

I’m living vicariously through Margaret Roach as I read the story of how she walked away from a high-powered corporate job to live in the woods.  And I Shall Have Some Peace There has captivated my imagination as I read her solitary ruminations during her first year of living alone and getting to know the flora and fauna she shares her life with. Her gardening blog, A Way to Garden, is one of my new favorite places to visit these days.

This morning I came across Arriving: 1909-1919 (Understanding Ursula) by Corrine Jeffrey. It’s about early homesteaders in my beloved Saskatchewan. I couldn’t resist downloading the Kindle version.

Also on the go is Anne Bauer’s memoir The Sound of Hope about her experience as an adoptee. I’m relating to a lot of what Anne has to say.

(By the way, there is a new online publication called Adoption Voices Online that I’ve become a regular contributor to. It presents an array of adoption-related articles from different perspectives. You’ll find adoptive parents, adoptees, birth parents, and adoption experts. I hope you’ll check it out.)

So, it would seem the only problem I have this afternoon is choosing what to read first. Ah, if only every day was like this one. I hope you’re enjoying a beautiful Mother’s Day too–no matter how you are choosing to spend it.

How To Write About Emotions

Today I’m pleased to welcome journal therapy specialist Mary McCarthy to A Slice of Life Writing. Mary first started journaling as a form of therapy to deal with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). She credits her daily practice, not only with introducing her to her creative self, but also with curing an assortment of spiritual, mental, and psychophysical diseases. Today she’s sharing tips for writing about our emotions. Welcome, Mari!

One of the most common reasons that people start journaling is that they need a way to process emotions. I know I often make use of journaling as a sort of waking dream therapy. The freedom and intimate companionship that I find in journaling lets me fully express; and by expressing, I can release the pressure of anything that’s become overbearing in my life.

Some people can articulate how they are feeling much more easily than others. Do you have an easy time talking or writing about your emotions, or is it difficult for you to express feelings?

Emotions are elusive. In many ways this is a great thing: for example, when you’re oppressed by a feeling, you know it will soon pass.

But we also intuit that by examining and understanding our emotions better, we may lessen the pain of them when necessary.

Even though your journal is a place of comfort, without restrictions, you may still find yourself stumped when it comes to putting words to your emotions. Yes, you feel sad, or glad, or worried, or ecstatic … but can you describe these states in greater detail? Can you analyze them effectively?

Ultimately, can you work through your feelings by writing, and come out on the other side of them?

Absolutely you can, but only with practice and courage.

First, it is necessary to pick up pen and paper when you are in the throes of an emotion.


Second, you make marks that are pure energy, the non-verbal movement of your current state across the page. Slash, lunge, trickle, flow, tiptoe, spiral. Let your heart and nerves register their speed, momentum, intensity.


Third, let verbalizations enter into the movement, so that you interrupt the mark-making here and there with a word or phrase or more.


Fourth, you begin to write words in sentences directly proceeding from the movement that occurred in steps one through three. Do not think about making sense.

After you are done writing sentences, pause to relax with closed eyes for a few moments. Then open your eyes and view/read your journal entry so far, including the marks and the words.

Now write about the person who created that entry (which is You, of course). Be that person’s coach and friend. Describe how they are feeling, so they will know you understand. Offer assistance as best you can. Be loving.

Positive emotions are healthy and rejuvenating. Joy, pride, fulfillment – these make life worth living. But it must be admitted that negative emotions are destructive and scary. Most likely, however, one kind of emotion cannot exist without the other.

This is why journaling is so essential to peace of mind. When you can write about emotions, describing and exposing them to conscious thought, you free yourself from being enslaved by them.

 

Mari L. McCarthy, journaling therapy specialist and author, owns Create Write Now, a website dedicated to all things journaling. The site includes hundreds of journaling prompts, personal journaling stories, interviews, a blog, and many other resources. Mari publishes many ebooks and e-workbooks to help journalers accomplish amazing things.

 

She also conducts online Challenges, and you won’t want to miss her upcoming Start Journaling and Change Your Life in 7 Days Challenge, June 4-10.

My Third Act and Friday Fave Five

One of the things I appreciate about aging is the ability to look back and distinguish unique periods in my adult life.

My twenties and thirties were the best of times and the worst of times for me.

The best part was being mommy to Laurinda and Michael. I loved the years when they were young and I was a stay-at-home mom. I loved doing crafts with them, going to the library with them, and experiencing the magic of childhood with them. I loved being at home despite the fact that we were, I’ll be honest, financially poor. The worst of times? Those stories are bigger than I can write about here.

In my late thirties I entered, what I consider to be, my second act and my life changed completely.



Oh, there were still difficulties, but I felt more in control of the trajectory my life was on. I realized I had choices. I’ve grown stronger, happier, and more comfortable with my self with every year that goes by. The opinion of other people means less to me than it ever did before; I’m willing to do silly things just because I want to. Case in point: I spritzed myself with glitter before going to work this morning, and I wore sandals to show off my Caribbean-blue toenails even though it was pouring rain outside. I love being fifty-three years old!

I spend a lot of time thinking about third act these days.

Lord willing, in less than two years we will retire and return to Canada. Gerry and I have many conversations about our dream of living on a hobby farm with chickens, goats, gardens, and, best of all, our grandchildren nearby. We dream about living off the grid. Gerry dreams about golfing, playing hockey, and having time to enjoy using his telescope. I dream about having time to garden, cook, quilt, knit, and write. I also dream about having a bonfire and burning my detested, professional, black trouser socks so I can go barefoot or wear colorful fun-looking socks in the winter.

Wait a minute, you’re asking, what does any of this have to do with Friday Fave Five? I’m getting to that. Be patient with me! I’m fifty-three and entitled to a tangent now and then!

One of my favorite places to visit online is SecondAct. You. Part Two. and this week I found my new favorite garden blog on that site. (See the connection: second act; third act.)

Margaret Roach’s A Way to Garden has captivated my attention this week. I’ve had Margaret’s book, And I Shall Have Some Peace There, on my bedside table for a number of months now. I love, love, love the story of how she walked away from her career to live a life of solitude and gardening. Her story inspires me. The video on her book website inspires me. Her story, in many ways, is the story I hope to be telling in a few years.

One of my new favorite blogs is Random Thoughts From Midlife by Christine Grote. She shared a post this week that captivated me. It was just birds living their bird-life, but Christine took the time to push the pause button on all that was clamoring for her attention, take photos and videos, appreciate the moment, and share it all with her readers. Christine is living the life I hope to live in my third act.

Finally, check out Jody Hedlund’s post with reasons why writers should consider Pinterest. I love Pinterest and now I have a legitimate reason to spend time there. BTW, check out Jody’s boards next time you’re there. Check out my boards too!

On the book-front, I approved the interior proof of Two Hearts yesterday and look forward to receiving and approving the final (I hope) printed proof next week!

Okay, I’m walking away from the computer now and preparing to enjoy the weekend. You do the same!