Sara M. Barton's Blog, page 8
August 23, 2013
Authors, Want Credibility? The Devil Is in the Details
How much does it matter that a character is authentic? In this day and age, when family and friends load up an indie author's book page with glowing reviews, as a means of luring in buyers, it matters more than you think.
I recently download a book I thought had tremendous potential. The cover was perfection, in terms of drawing my attention. Who could resist a cute dog and the promise of a killer mystery? I kept reading. Best seller...hundreds of ratings and reviews...obviously a very popular book. How could it possibly fail to deliver?
Oh, let me count the ways. First, the author created a character who is a female lawyer. An unassertive, quiet, shy lawyer. Um, gee...Law School Rule of Thumb 101-- if you don't like to argue, don't be a lawyer. By training, lawyers are shaped to be bold, to hold their ground during a confrontation or conversation. It's really hard to get through law school without earning your boxing gloves. Why? Lawyers are persuaders who hammer their points home. It's their job to convince juries and judges that their version of a case is the only correct one. There is no room for doubt in a lawyer's mind, no wiggle room, once the argument is formed. Whether you're defense ("My client is innocent!") or offense ("The defendant is guilty!"), you're on a team and you're playing to win. It's not a career for the timid, the doubtful.
Second, the author made her character a failure without a cause. What forced her from her position in the DA's office, where she worked as an investigator on big cases? She was downsized. The unemployed lawyer is supposedly at her wits' end before she stumbles into a job offer from a old chum with fluctuating ethics So desperate is this legal eagle, she's ready to take a job in a dress shop to pay the bills....Um, I don't think so. With those skills, there are so many other jobs in related fields (private security/investigation firms, private corporations that go after fraud, like insurance companies, accounting firms, etc.). Even other judicial districts are likely to have job openings of one kind or another for an experienced prosecuting attorney able to navigate through an investigation. Why would she forgo the chance to work in her career field in favor of selling clothes? Does that make sense to you?
Reality check for the author -- you don't lose your reputation from being downsized. Unless you've committed some egregious faux pas, your reputation holds. The typical attorney will take umbrage at the slightest whiff of disrespect leveled at his or her reputation. What self-respecting lawyer would ever turn tail and run so quickly? Brings to mind that old phrase, "That dog don't hunt!" Attorneys are used to doing battle on a daily basis -- strategizing their next course of action, predicting what the opposing team will do, and counteracting those efforts before the other lawyers have a chance to do any real damage. And yet, this author expects us to belive this character wimpily bumps along, like she's got no choice but to throw herself across the train tracks because she lost her job. Lawyers are people with connections. They are trained to network their way through cases, to ferret out information, to get a foot in the door. Shop girl? Only in an inexperienced author's vision would a licensed lawyer trained in investigations go to work selling dresses.
But it got worse as I kept reading. This experienced investigator with a law degree and law license actually took a job without doing her due diligence. That's right. She never bothered to check on the dubious company, to make sure they were not in violation of the law, under investigation of any kind, or with a reputation that could cost her her law license. No well-trained legal eagle would ever jeopardize her right to practice law by signing on with a company that has a shady reputation. Background checks are always warranted if you value your career, for employer and employee.
So far, I've only talked about the legal aspects of the book, so you might be under the mistaken impression that this is just a matter of a good writer failing to do the research. But remember, this is not just a mystery, it's also supposed to be a romance. When she talks about another character getting all hot and bothered for a boyfriend, the grateful woman compares her partner's sexual arousal to that of a male deer. Or is that a male dear? Frankly, my darlings, it's a moot point. The fact is that unless you've spent any time in the wilderness, observing deer going at it, it's ridiculous to say that a man is anything like a buck. What made him buck-like? What stood out...er, um...made him so special? Talk about a trite cliche. Stallions, on the other hand, have long been symbolic as the untameable, wild beasts akin to men who are commitment-phobic and challenging, not just because they're powerful in the corral when a filly's in heat. We women try to train, domesticate, and harness all that raw energy and passion, as we saddle up that bucking bronco in our effort to control the romance. The horse symbolism works because it transcends different levels of dance between man and woman -- physical, mental, emotional. In this case, the lame buck stopped here, because the horny guy was really very ordinary. Nothing magnificent about his appendage or his sexual prowess.
That was not the only cliche running through the book. Take the bad guys. Superficial, money-grubbing, pretentious twits who long for the (Long Island) Hamptons while making do on the Connecticut shoreline. At a guess, I'd say the author hasn't really ever spent any time in either locale. She's probably watched "Royal Pains" and thinks she's capable of writing what passes for the lives of the Rich and Famous, without ever having smelled the air, shopped in the shops, or even taken the train to the station in her choice of playscape.
Rule Number One for any decent author is know your inspiration for your setting. How else can you ever keep the details straight? Every time I write a scene, I use my experience to fill in those details. What is it like in Bermuda..South Carolina...Vermont...Massachusetts...London....Even when I create a fictional town, I always have a real place that has inspired me, and my reason for creating a new locale is to allow me flexibility with my storyline or to obscure information on real criminal activity that took place. But I know of what I write, whether it's the terrain, the shops, or the people. Authenticity is incredibly important to a good story, because that's the flavor, the aroma wafting through the book's setting.
If you must write about a place you've never been, immerse yourself in information until you can picture every last image, every last step you force your character to make. Check out the local restaurant menus. What's hot in food trends? What's not? What's the best beach? Where's the nearest hospital and what can they treat or not treat? What do the houses look like? What does an apartment go for? Take a look at the street views of maps. Swim in those unknown waters before you write. It's not necessary for you to share every little snippet. What you really need to do most is picture yourself there, in that locale, so that when you do write, your voice is in sync with reality. That's how you build credibility for the imaginary.
One of the best examples I've read of an author really showing his talent for depicting local color was Greg Isles in "Dead Sleep". From the pronunciation of local slang to the gritty details of the weather, the architecture, and even the mindset of the residents, he brought the story to life by painting the characters with such authenticity, it was easy to get swept away. That's what a really seasoned author does -- he or she builds a solid story by attending to all the important details, creating a sensual experience for the reader that allows your imagination to take in all those details and form your own vision of the locale. A really good book transports you there, to the scene, lets you walk around and experience it for yourself, like an observer on holiday, and you don't have to worry about anyone going after you with a weapon.
But the author of the romantic suspense novel I was reading wasn't as talented as Mr. Isles. She made several more mistakes, and one of the biggest is one that just about every writer has committed at one point in time or another -- sharing too much about characters not yet introduced into the story. At one point, her main character, crossing a busy work space filled with men, somehow discerns the eye color of a man she's never met with some kind of amazing, super sight, even as the man waits hundreds of feet away. Is she somehow psychic or did the author forget to pay attention to the story continuity? Until the author and reader come face to face with a character for the first time, there is no way anyone can know how blue, brown, green, or hazel those eyes are. Discovery comes with action. That's how tension is built. That's how the story moves.
I'd like to tell you that those were the only glitches in the first half of the book, but I can't. Another whopper popped up. The supposed hero of the mystery is a government agent who used to be a criminal. Seriously? "Here's the thing," as Adrian Monk used to say. In order to be a full-fledged federal agent, you must undergo a background check, and being convicted of a serious crime usually rules you out as a badge-carrying good guy. Yes, it's possible that such a man might be enticed to work for the government in a related capacity, as an informant, possibly as a reformed "consultant", or even an undercover operative, but he would have a serious handler micro-managing the operation. Why? Two reasons. If the government plans to prosecute the criminal case, that man has to provide the right kind of evidence. You can't skirt the law because defense attorneys will have a field day tap dancing all over the prosecution. That means every action has to be monitored to develop the best evidence possible and to preserve it. Tainted information gets thrown out and wastes taxpayer money, which is in and of itself a crime (misuse of resources). Second, imagine if you will what happens when the defense attorneys find out that the man who has gathered all the evidence against their client is himself an admitted criminal. Whoo, boy! Talk about mistrial magic!
But there's more. How can he hold a gun permit with his criminal background? How can he have the necessary security clearance (top secret, at the very least) to conduct his federal investigations and work with his fellow agents? A full-fledged bona fide government agent always has these. An operative, informant, consultant, or other support team member does not.
Now does it become apparent as to why this mystery's scenario defies credibility? Consider the average cost of a federal trial. That money has to count for something at the end of the day. Everybody is accountable, and when there are cost overruns, that money gets pulled from other prosecutions, other investigations. There is no willy-nilly in real law enforcement. The Department of Justice isn't about to throw the book at a huge multi-million dollar investment company using a criminal who has issues with his own past. That character would have to be part of a much broader team, one that the prosecutors could have confidence in. If there's one thing that really irks prosecutors, it's investigators who leave them with egg on their faces. And when prosecutors get irked, watch out. They're going to want to take a chunk out of somebody....
What could the inexperienced author have done to improve her story? She could have actually studied the behavior of real lawyers, by spending time, asking questions, and absorbing the details of real law practices. Or she could have taken those same characters and that plot line, and tweaked it until it made sense, by dropping all the phony legalese and going with ordinary citizens caught up in a crime. Don't know how the law works, work around it. Maybe the reformed criminal hero has to fight to be heard when he discovers the illegal activities because the firm asks him to break the law again or tries to blackmail him into it. Sure, it looks good to have a swashbuckling, swoon-causing government agent on the job, but he can't be a criminal. Either make him a law-abiding guy or make him a criminal. Don't make him both.
And as for the heroine, why does she have to be a lawyer? So she can buy the fancy suits and have a bunch of guys wanting to pinch her fanny as she sashays by? Paralegal, client, unwitting witness to the crime....There are so many other ways to introduce a heroine to a dangerous situation. It's not necessary to give the character a career that is outside the scope of the author's experience, especially if the author isn't interested in doing the research. Write what you know. Write to your goal. Write mysteries that make sense.
As for the story, after reaching almost the halfway point and not seeing any real mystery or romance, I'm not about to waste any more time reading. I never did find anything connecting it to the cute dog on the book's cover. I never did find any characters I admired, respected, liked, or felt compassion for in any way, shape or form. This really was just a cheap means to collect money for a rambling tale that talks sexy, without delivering the climax. The author spends far too much time dressing the duds in designer duds, like they're all paper dollies. I would summarize the first half of the plot this way -- the lacking lawyer got a job, thanks to an old chum/rival, and met some new people at a new job. That's really all that happened. A horny woman's daydream of what it's like to be a lawyer and crime fighter, in a fantasy world. Readers deserve better than that, and as authors, we have a responsibility not to waste the time or money of people who want to be genuinely entertained. If you're serious about being an indie author, learn from this and write a tale of which ou can be proud. Be authentic.
I recently download a book I thought had tremendous potential. The cover was perfection, in terms of drawing my attention. Who could resist a cute dog and the promise of a killer mystery? I kept reading. Best seller...hundreds of ratings and reviews...obviously a very popular book. How could it possibly fail to deliver?
Oh, let me count the ways. First, the author created a character who is a female lawyer. An unassertive, quiet, shy lawyer. Um, gee...Law School Rule of Thumb 101-- if you don't like to argue, don't be a lawyer. By training, lawyers are shaped to be bold, to hold their ground during a confrontation or conversation. It's really hard to get through law school without earning your boxing gloves. Why? Lawyers are persuaders who hammer their points home. It's their job to convince juries and judges that their version of a case is the only correct one. There is no room for doubt in a lawyer's mind, no wiggle room, once the argument is formed. Whether you're defense ("My client is innocent!") or offense ("The defendant is guilty!"), you're on a team and you're playing to win. It's not a career for the timid, the doubtful.
Second, the author made her character a failure without a cause. What forced her from her position in the DA's office, where she worked as an investigator on big cases? She was downsized. The unemployed lawyer is supposedly at her wits' end before she stumbles into a job offer from a old chum with fluctuating ethics So desperate is this legal eagle, she's ready to take a job in a dress shop to pay the bills....Um, I don't think so. With those skills, there are so many other jobs in related fields (private security/investigation firms, private corporations that go after fraud, like insurance companies, accounting firms, etc.). Even other judicial districts are likely to have job openings of one kind or another for an experienced prosecuting attorney able to navigate through an investigation. Why would she forgo the chance to work in her career field in favor of selling clothes? Does that make sense to you?
Reality check for the author -- you don't lose your reputation from being downsized. Unless you've committed some egregious faux pas, your reputation holds. The typical attorney will take umbrage at the slightest whiff of disrespect leveled at his or her reputation. What self-respecting lawyer would ever turn tail and run so quickly? Brings to mind that old phrase, "That dog don't hunt!" Attorneys are used to doing battle on a daily basis -- strategizing their next course of action, predicting what the opposing team will do, and counteracting those efforts before the other lawyers have a chance to do any real damage. And yet, this author expects us to belive this character wimpily bumps along, like she's got no choice but to throw herself across the train tracks because she lost her job. Lawyers are people with connections. They are trained to network their way through cases, to ferret out information, to get a foot in the door. Shop girl? Only in an inexperienced author's vision would a licensed lawyer trained in investigations go to work selling dresses.
But it got worse as I kept reading. This experienced investigator with a law degree and law license actually took a job without doing her due diligence. That's right. She never bothered to check on the dubious company, to make sure they were not in violation of the law, under investigation of any kind, or with a reputation that could cost her her law license. No well-trained legal eagle would ever jeopardize her right to practice law by signing on with a company that has a shady reputation. Background checks are always warranted if you value your career, for employer and employee.
So far, I've only talked about the legal aspects of the book, so you might be under the mistaken impression that this is just a matter of a good writer failing to do the research. But remember, this is not just a mystery, it's also supposed to be a romance. When she talks about another character getting all hot and bothered for a boyfriend, the grateful woman compares her partner's sexual arousal to that of a male deer. Or is that a male dear? Frankly, my darlings, it's a moot point. The fact is that unless you've spent any time in the wilderness, observing deer going at it, it's ridiculous to say that a man is anything like a buck. What made him buck-like? What stood out...er, um...made him so special? Talk about a trite cliche. Stallions, on the other hand, have long been symbolic as the untameable, wild beasts akin to men who are commitment-phobic and challenging, not just because they're powerful in the corral when a filly's in heat. We women try to train, domesticate, and harness all that raw energy and passion, as we saddle up that bucking bronco in our effort to control the romance. The horse symbolism works because it transcends different levels of dance between man and woman -- physical, mental, emotional. In this case, the lame buck stopped here, because the horny guy was really very ordinary. Nothing magnificent about his appendage or his sexual prowess.
That was not the only cliche running through the book. Take the bad guys. Superficial, money-grubbing, pretentious twits who long for the (Long Island) Hamptons while making do on the Connecticut shoreline. At a guess, I'd say the author hasn't really ever spent any time in either locale. She's probably watched "Royal Pains" and thinks she's capable of writing what passes for the lives of the Rich and Famous, without ever having smelled the air, shopped in the shops, or even taken the train to the station in her choice of playscape.
Rule Number One for any decent author is know your inspiration for your setting. How else can you ever keep the details straight? Every time I write a scene, I use my experience to fill in those details. What is it like in Bermuda..South Carolina...Vermont...Massachusetts...London....Even when I create a fictional town, I always have a real place that has inspired me, and my reason for creating a new locale is to allow me flexibility with my storyline or to obscure information on real criminal activity that took place. But I know of what I write, whether it's the terrain, the shops, or the people. Authenticity is incredibly important to a good story, because that's the flavor, the aroma wafting through the book's setting.
If you must write about a place you've never been, immerse yourself in information until you can picture every last image, every last step you force your character to make. Check out the local restaurant menus. What's hot in food trends? What's not? What's the best beach? Where's the nearest hospital and what can they treat or not treat? What do the houses look like? What does an apartment go for? Take a look at the street views of maps. Swim in those unknown waters before you write. It's not necessary for you to share every little snippet. What you really need to do most is picture yourself there, in that locale, so that when you do write, your voice is in sync with reality. That's how you build credibility for the imaginary.
One of the best examples I've read of an author really showing his talent for depicting local color was Greg Isles in "Dead Sleep". From the pronunciation of local slang to the gritty details of the weather, the architecture, and even the mindset of the residents, he brought the story to life by painting the characters with such authenticity, it was easy to get swept away. That's what a really seasoned author does -- he or she builds a solid story by attending to all the important details, creating a sensual experience for the reader that allows your imagination to take in all those details and form your own vision of the locale. A really good book transports you there, to the scene, lets you walk around and experience it for yourself, like an observer on holiday, and you don't have to worry about anyone going after you with a weapon.
But the author of the romantic suspense novel I was reading wasn't as talented as Mr. Isles. She made several more mistakes, and one of the biggest is one that just about every writer has committed at one point in time or another -- sharing too much about characters not yet introduced into the story. At one point, her main character, crossing a busy work space filled with men, somehow discerns the eye color of a man she's never met with some kind of amazing, super sight, even as the man waits hundreds of feet away. Is she somehow psychic or did the author forget to pay attention to the story continuity? Until the author and reader come face to face with a character for the first time, there is no way anyone can know how blue, brown, green, or hazel those eyes are. Discovery comes with action. That's how tension is built. That's how the story moves.
I'd like to tell you that those were the only glitches in the first half of the book, but I can't. Another whopper popped up. The supposed hero of the mystery is a government agent who used to be a criminal. Seriously? "Here's the thing," as Adrian Monk used to say. In order to be a full-fledged federal agent, you must undergo a background check, and being convicted of a serious crime usually rules you out as a badge-carrying good guy. Yes, it's possible that such a man might be enticed to work for the government in a related capacity, as an informant, possibly as a reformed "consultant", or even an undercover operative, but he would have a serious handler micro-managing the operation. Why? Two reasons. If the government plans to prosecute the criminal case, that man has to provide the right kind of evidence. You can't skirt the law because defense attorneys will have a field day tap dancing all over the prosecution. That means every action has to be monitored to develop the best evidence possible and to preserve it. Tainted information gets thrown out and wastes taxpayer money, which is in and of itself a crime (misuse of resources). Second, imagine if you will what happens when the defense attorneys find out that the man who has gathered all the evidence against their client is himself an admitted criminal. Whoo, boy! Talk about mistrial magic!
But there's more. How can he hold a gun permit with his criminal background? How can he have the necessary security clearance (top secret, at the very least) to conduct his federal investigations and work with his fellow agents? A full-fledged bona fide government agent always has these. An operative, informant, consultant, or other support team member does not.
Now does it become apparent as to why this mystery's scenario defies credibility? Consider the average cost of a federal trial. That money has to count for something at the end of the day. Everybody is accountable, and when there are cost overruns, that money gets pulled from other prosecutions, other investigations. There is no willy-nilly in real law enforcement. The Department of Justice isn't about to throw the book at a huge multi-million dollar investment company using a criminal who has issues with his own past. That character would have to be part of a much broader team, one that the prosecutors could have confidence in. If there's one thing that really irks prosecutors, it's investigators who leave them with egg on their faces. And when prosecutors get irked, watch out. They're going to want to take a chunk out of somebody....
What could the inexperienced author have done to improve her story? She could have actually studied the behavior of real lawyers, by spending time, asking questions, and absorbing the details of real law practices. Or she could have taken those same characters and that plot line, and tweaked it until it made sense, by dropping all the phony legalese and going with ordinary citizens caught up in a crime. Don't know how the law works, work around it. Maybe the reformed criminal hero has to fight to be heard when he discovers the illegal activities because the firm asks him to break the law again or tries to blackmail him into it. Sure, it looks good to have a swashbuckling, swoon-causing government agent on the job, but he can't be a criminal. Either make him a law-abiding guy or make him a criminal. Don't make him both.
And as for the heroine, why does she have to be a lawyer? So she can buy the fancy suits and have a bunch of guys wanting to pinch her fanny as she sashays by? Paralegal, client, unwitting witness to the crime....There are so many other ways to introduce a heroine to a dangerous situation. It's not necessary to give the character a career that is outside the scope of the author's experience, especially if the author isn't interested in doing the research. Write what you know. Write to your goal. Write mysteries that make sense.
As for the story, after reaching almost the halfway point and not seeing any real mystery or romance, I'm not about to waste any more time reading. I never did find anything connecting it to the cute dog on the book's cover. I never did find any characters I admired, respected, liked, or felt compassion for in any way, shape or form. This really was just a cheap means to collect money for a rambling tale that talks sexy, without delivering the climax. The author spends far too much time dressing the duds in designer duds, like they're all paper dollies. I would summarize the first half of the plot this way -- the lacking lawyer got a job, thanks to an old chum/rival, and met some new people at a new job. That's really all that happened. A horny woman's daydream of what it's like to be a lawyer and crime fighter, in a fantasy world. Readers deserve better than that, and as authors, we have a responsibility not to waste the time or money of people who want to be genuinely entertained. If you're serious about being an indie author, learn from this and write a tale of which ou can be proud. Be authentic.
August 20, 2013
Book Review -- "Just Add Water" by Jinx Schwartz
I'm sharing my book review of what I think is one of the most original mysteries I've ever come across. Would I have necessarily picked it up on my own? Probably. I love boats, dogs, and feisty, funny women who like men. Hetta is a heroine who competes in a man's world, and that's not always easy to do if you're looking for real romance. Having been burned...nay, scorched, by the ex-rat bastard of a boyfriend, she's carrying a lot of anger and a weapon, determined no one will ever again get the jump on her heart.
Recently, Jinx Schwartz made a comment in an author's group about labeling her mysteries. After reading this book, I understand her dilemma. This story covers so much territory, it's hard to narrow the genre. It's hilarious, over-the-top, and wacky. In some ways, Jinx does for Texas and San Francisco what Tim Dorsey does for Florida -- create memorable characters that are so much bigger than life. Here's my review of her book:
Just Add Water
Jinx Schwartz
Total Points -- 85 out of 100
4.5 Stars -- Highly recommended
1. Plot -- 17 Points
Maybe it's because I'm a dog person, maybe it's because I love a woman who can hold her own with obnoxious manipulators, but I adored this book, even despite my doubts. If it weren't for RJ, the adopted dog, you might think Hetta Coffey, the civil engineer who traipses through life with a voice that can carry across a room, is shallow, selfish, and skilled at wreaking havoc on people who get on her nerves. Boisterous beyond belief, she's tumbling through life like some demented Texas tumbleweed in San Francisco. Hetta is outrageously over-the-top in so many ways, from the constant name dropping, delight in shopping for everything from jewelry to men, and living her single life constantly on the move. How she gets from her San Francisco palace with the hot tub to a live-aboard yacht has to be one of the wackiest storylines I've ever read. And note to the author -- I would have named the boat "Redemption", because this really is a wonderful tale of a woman old enough to know better, who finally gets her act together and finds herself, just when she falls into the hands of a murderous creep.
2. Characters -- 18 Points
I started this book expecting a wild and funny ride. After all, the premise was a hoot. A woman with a yacht? Single, known to imbibe, lavish tastes, hot for men....The first chapter or two, I found myself wondering if I had lost my mind, even as I laughed my way through the pages. The language? Ah-paw-lin'! I've been told my language can make a sailor blush, but Hetta Coffey is the Queen of Cuss. What's more, she has to be the absolute bottom-dweller when it comes to political correctness. Holy sea cow! I cringed my way through some of her more outrageous quips. And her sidekick, Jan, just encourages her. Hetta's a civil engineer from Texas, armed and dangerous in more ways than one. But even as I kept on reading, I began to understand the hard knocks and heartaches that made Hetta who and what she was. In all my years of reading, I have NEVER experienced a character like her in any book, and by the time I finished (an hour late for work, mind you!), I was a big fan. My favorite part? Oh, the men! In Jinx Schwartz's hands, they've got no chance of saving their sorry behinds if they're bastards, and if they're keepers? I found myself hoping Hetta would overcome her fear of rejection in time to lasso a good one. Allison, the legal adviser, has some of the best lines of all and a personality that blends smart with savvy.
3. Setting -- 18 Points
From San Fransisco to Texas, this is not your typical setting. The details, the descriptions, the scenes -- these all add a richness to the story. Once Hetta gets serious about buying a boat and we follow her adventures at the yacht club and on the water, it's all good. She seems to be transformed by her experiences as the sea charms her, and readers can understand why Hetta will not be heading back to dry land any time soon, even as she struggles to understand the responsibility of being captain of her vessel.
4. Pacing -- 16 Points
At times, my head spun. The conversation, the one-liners, the wild talk -- it was all fast-paced and often laugh-out-loud funny. I appreciated the way the author allowed Hetta to develop as a person, to show her vulnerability as the layers were peeled away, and as the chinks in her armor became more apparent, so did Hetta's real strengths.
5. Tone -- 16 Points
The story itself is rock solid and clever in its unfolding. The characters are complicated in many ways and come off as self-absorbed at times, at least superficially. A couple of little hitches in Hetta's get-along seemed overly forced during the introduction of the character (I suppose some men might describe her as a big-mouthed broad....) In the first quarter of the book, the author's humor kept me reading, even as I wondered whether I would really like the characters at the end, but I actually did. There was a reward in taking a chance and boarding Hetta's yacht, because the journey was, from start to finish, unpredictable and enjoyable. Sometimes, especially when the humor was at its wildest or most barbed, I found myself wondering if the book was a just a device for the author to launch a running monologue, but in the end, there was real substance in the story.
Recently, Jinx Schwartz made a comment in an author's group about labeling her mysteries. After reading this book, I understand her dilemma. This story covers so much territory, it's hard to narrow the genre. It's hilarious, over-the-top, and wacky. In some ways, Jinx does for Texas and San Francisco what Tim Dorsey does for Florida -- create memorable characters that are so much bigger than life. Here's my review of her book:
Just Add Water
Jinx Schwartz
Total Points -- 85 out of 100
4.5 Stars -- Highly recommended
1. Plot -- 17 Points
Maybe it's because I'm a dog person, maybe it's because I love a woman who can hold her own with obnoxious manipulators, but I adored this book, even despite my doubts. If it weren't for RJ, the adopted dog, you might think Hetta Coffey, the civil engineer who traipses through life with a voice that can carry across a room, is shallow, selfish, and skilled at wreaking havoc on people who get on her nerves. Boisterous beyond belief, she's tumbling through life like some demented Texas tumbleweed in San Francisco. Hetta is outrageously over-the-top in so many ways, from the constant name dropping, delight in shopping for everything from jewelry to men, and living her single life constantly on the move. How she gets from her San Francisco palace with the hot tub to a live-aboard yacht has to be one of the wackiest storylines I've ever read. And note to the author -- I would have named the boat "Redemption", because this really is a wonderful tale of a woman old enough to know better, who finally gets her act together and finds herself, just when she falls into the hands of a murderous creep.
2. Characters -- 18 Points
I started this book expecting a wild and funny ride. After all, the premise was a hoot. A woman with a yacht? Single, known to imbibe, lavish tastes, hot for men....The first chapter or two, I found myself wondering if I had lost my mind, even as I laughed my way through the pages. The language? Ah-paw-lin'! I've been told my language can make a sailor blush, but Hetta Coffey is the Queen of Cuss. What's more, she has to be the absolute bottom-dweller when it comes to political correctness. Holy sea cow! I cringed my way through some of her more outrageous quips. And her sidekick, Jan, just encourages her. Hetta's a civil engineer from Texas, armed and dangerous in more ways than one. But even as I kept on reading, I began to understand the hard knocks and heartaches that made Hetta who and what she was. In all my years of reading, I have NEVER experienced a character like her in any book, and by the time I finished (an hour late for work, mind you!), I was a big fan. My favorite part? Oh, the men! In Jinx Schwartz's hands, they've got no chance of saving their sorry behinds if they're bastards, and if they're keepers? I found myself hoping Hetta would overcome her fear of rejection in time to lasso a good one. Allison, the legal adviser, has some of the best lines of all and a personality that blends smart with savvy.
3. Setting -- 18 Points
From San Fransisco to Texas, this is not your typical setting. The details, the descriptions, the scenes -- these all add a richness to the story. Once Hetta gets serious about buying a boat and we follow her adventures at the yacht club and on the water, it's all good. She seems to be transformed by her experiences as the sea charms her, and readers can understand why Hetta will not be heading back to dry land any time soon, even as she struggles to understand the responsibility of being captain of her vessel.
4. Pacing -- 16 Points
At times, my head spun. The conversation, the one-liners, the wild talk -- it was all fast-paced and often laugh-out-loud funny. I appreciated the way the author allowed Hetta to develop as a person, to show her vulnerability as the layers were peeled away, and as the chinks in her armor became more apparent, so did Hetta's real strengths.
5. Tone -- 16 Points
The story itself is rock solid and clever in its unfolding. The characters are complicated in many ways and come off as self-absorbed at times, at least superficially. A couple of little hitches in Hetta's get-along seemed overly forced during the introduction of the character (I suppose some men might describe her as a big-mouthed broad....) In the first quarter of the book, the author's humor kept me reading, even as I wondered whether I would really like the characters at the end, but I actually did. There was a reward in taking a chance and boarding Hetta's yacht, because the journey was, from start to finish, unpredictable and enjoyable. Sometimes, especially when the humor was at its wildest or most barbed, I found myself wondering if the book was a just a device for the author to launch a running monologue, but in the end, there was real substance in the story.
August 17, 2013
Rating "Maggie Needs an Alibi" with My 5-Category Review Form
I recently offered up a form for reviewing fiction, using five categories, consisting of plot, characters, setting, pacing, and tone. Each was rated from 1-20 points, so that every book was awarded stars based on the total number of points out of 100. In my example, I made up a non-existent book as my teaching tool. But yesterday afternoon, after finishing Maggie Needs an Alibi by Kasey Michaels, I had the chance to apply the form to a real book. How did it work for me?
I'll be honest. I thought I would just zip off a review and post it. But those five categories actually forced me to stop myself and really think about what I read. And when it came to giving points, I actually found myself readjusting the numbers up and down as I weighed what mattered most to me in the book. Was I being fair to the author and the story? Was I being too harsh? Was I giving either or both a pass on things that affected my enjoyment of the story? Suddenly, I wasn't just offering my vague, capricious opinion on a book. I was offering my opinion on the specific parts of a book and how they were woven into the story. And that's where I came to recognize both the flaws and strengths the author brought to the story. I actually understand why I felt the way I did about the book by the time I finished -- what worked for me and what didn't. Best of all? I didn't have to give away any of the book's "gotcha's" for other readers.
One big surprise for me came when it was time to add my review. I had picked up this paperback in a shop, so I didn't actually see the ratings and reviews until I was posting it. My final point tally was 75 out of 100, or three-and-a-half stars. On Goodreads and Library Thing, that was spot-on for other reviews of the book. Here's mine:
Maggie Needs an Alibi
Kasey Michaels
Kensington Books, 2003
Total number of points -- 75 points out of 100
Number of stars -- 3.5
1. Plot -- 15 points out of 20
The wacky storyline, although firmly lodged in fantasy, follows a logical, intelligent progression. Maggie Kelly, a NYT best-selling author, stymied by psychological issues and an addiction to cigarettes, discovers that two of the characters in her Regency romances come alive and take up residence in her apartment, complicating her life. At first thinking she's gone mad, she is much relieved to learn that others can also see and hear these men, even as she tries to protect them from discovery. The misuse of modern amenities, such as credit cards, TV shopping channels, and local pizza delivery, in the hands of the financially naive Viscount Saint Just and Sterling Balder adds to the charm of the story. The murder victims are hardly well-loved, and the weapons used to dispatch them turn out to be more clever and sophisticated than first glance suggests, enabling the killer to avoid scrutiny until the very end. In many ways, the insider view of the publishing world was an eye-opener, as Maggie navigated her way through the cutthroat world of romance best-sellers.
2. Characters -- 16 points out of 20
The characters, especially the imaginary ones, did actually ring true, right down to their flaws, of which there were many. The use of flowery language and obscure English dialogue by the roguish Viscount Saint Just and his sidekick, Sterling, was a big reason why it succeeded as well as it did. When the fictional pair goes head to head with the down-to-earth detective, Steve Wendell, in a battle of testosterone, the conversation and rivalry sounds all-too-human. As Saint Just and Sterling become used to being alive, they evolve in their social awareness and self-reliance, at least as long as Saint Just can get his hands on Maggie's wallet. While Ms. Michaels worked hard to create tension between the real and imaginary characters, none of them ever seemed to be people with whom I would choose to spend time or seek out for friendship. This made it difficult for me to relate to them on a deeper level.
3. Setting -- 16 points out of 20
New York City proves to be a handy locale for the story, allowing the author to have some fun with her cast. Although much of the action takes place in Maggie Kelly's apartment, Ms. Michaels uses the urban setting to thrust her characters into various predicaments typically found in the Big Apple.
4. Pacing -- 14 points out of 20
I found the first third of the book slow-going, and yet amusing -- the one-liners were funny, but the story didn't seem to get wheels to go anywhere, aimlessly bumping along like a cocktail party with guests that have all had one too many. The amount of time the author took to set the stage for the killing dragged on a bit, but once the murder got underway, the pace picked up and the personalities of the suspects seemed to emerge and become more important to the mystery.
5. Tone -- 14 points out of 20
The first half of the story seemed rather contrived and self-conscious, as if the author struggled a bit too hard to make the fantasy aspects seem believable. Once she finally set the stage and just went with it, the dialogue seemed a little more believable and flowed better.
I'll be honest. I thought I would just zip off a review and post it. But those five categories actually forced me to stop myself and really think about what I read. And when it came to giving points, I actually found myself readjusting the numbers up and down as I weighed what mattered most to me in the book. Was I being fair to the author and the story? Was I being too harsh? Was I giving either or both a pass on things that affected my enjoyment of the story? Suddenly, I wasn't just offering my vague, capricious opinion on a book. I was offering my opinion on the specific parts of a book and how they were woven into the story. And that's where I came to recognize both the flaws and strengths the author brought to the story. I actually understand why I felt the way I did about the book by the time I finished -- what worked for me and what didn't. Best of all? I didn't have to give away any of the book's "gotcha's" for other readers.
One big surprise for me came when it was time to add my review. I had picked up this paperback in a shop, so I didn't actually see the ratings and reviews until I was posting it. My final point tally was 75 out of 100, or three-and-a-half stars. On Goodreads and Library Thing, that was spot-on for other reviews of the book. Here's mine:
Maggie Needs an Alibi
Kasey Michaels
Kensington Books, 2003
Total number of points -- 75 points out of 100
Number of stars -- 3.5
1. Plot -- 15 points out of 20
The wacky storyline, although firmly lodged in fantasy, follows a logical, intelligent progression. Maggie Kelly, a NYT best-selling author, stymied by psychological issues and an addiction to cigarettes, discovers that two of the characters in her Regency romances come alive and take up residence in her apartment, complicating her life. At first thinking she's gone mad, she is much relieved to learn that others can also see and hear these men, even as she tries to protect them from discovery. The misuse of modern amenities, such as credit cards, TV shopping channels, and local pizza delivery, in the hands of the financially naive Viscount Saint Just and Sterling Balder adds to the charm of the story. The murder victims are hardly well-loved, and the weapons used to dispatch them turn out to be more clever and sophisticated than first glance suggests, enabling the killer to avoid scrutiny until the very end. In many ways, the insider view of the publishing world was an eye-opener, as Maggie navigated her way through the cutthroat world of romance best-sellers.
2. Characters -- 16 points out of 20
The characters, especially the imaginary ones, did actually ring true, right down to their flaws, of which there were many. The use of flowery language and obscure English dialogue by the roguish Viscount Saint Just and his sidekick, Sterling, was a big reason why it succeeded as well as it did. When the fictional pair goes head to head with the down-to-earth detective, Steve Wendell, in a battle of testosterone, the conversation and rivalry sounds all-too-human. As Saint Just and Sterling become used to being alive, they evolve in their social awareness and self-reliance, at least as long as Saint Just can get his hands on Maggie's wallet. While Ms. Michaels worked hard to create tension between the real and imaginary characters, none of them ever seemed to be people with whom I would choose to spend time or seek out for friendship. This made it difficult for me to relate to them on a deeper level.
3. Setting -- 16 points out of 20
New York City proves to be a handy locale for the story, allowing the author to have some fun with her cast. Although much of the action takes place in Maggie Kelly's apartment, Ms. Michaels uses the urban setting to thrust her characters into various predicaments typically found in the Big Apple.
4. Pacing -- 14 points out of 20
I found the first third of the book slow-going, and yet amusing -- the one-liners were funny, but the story didn't seem to get wheels to go anywhere, aimlessly bumping along like a cocktail party with guests that have all had one too many. The amount of time the author took to set the stage for the killing dragged on a bit, but once the murder got underway, the pace picked up and the personalities of the suspects seemed to emerge and become more important to the mystery.
5. Tone -- 14 points out of 20
The first half of the story seemed rather contrived and self-conscious, as if the author struggled a bit too hard to make the fantasy aspects seem believable. Once she finally set the stage and just went with it, the dialogue seemed a little more believable and flowed better.
August 15, 2013
We're Indies, Not Idiots!
Recently, a reviewer mentioned that one of my mysteries wasn't bad, for an indie. As if being an independent, self-published author brands me with an "L" on my forehead. After all, if I was capable of being a real author, my books would be published by a respectable traditional publishing house and my books would appear everywhere in hardcover, paperback, and digital form.
In other words, those of us who publish our own works of fiction and non-fiction are writing only slop, drek, schlock, crap....or the dreaded "pulp fiction". I don't know about you, but I resent that remark. Call me haughty. Call me proud. Call me an Indie. I'm happy to wear the "I" mark!
As a former librarian, I can let you in on a little secret. Not everything that traditional publishers produce is stellar. In fact, I used to troll through professional review journals to weed through the many, many choices, in search of the best books for my library's budget. A number of factors went into my selection process, including the all-important "library binding", because there's nothing worse than having a book fall apart on the fourth or fifth reading by patrons.
For those readers who assume that the only good books out there are those vetted, edited, and produced through the traditional routes, I've got news for you. There are plenty of stinkers out there. Just because they exist in the physical domain of paper and cover, that doesn't mean they're all winners, any more than it means that a digital book by an independent author is an amateur effort at best, or of poor quality.
There are many solid reasons for authors to go independent. A number of seasoned writers took that traditional route and didn't feel it was worth the trouble. For those authors who had the agent, the editor, the publisher, it didn't always guarantee success, literary or financial. And many hate the fact that they've lost their own intellectual property because they surrendered their copyrights.
Last night, I was combing through Amazon in search of cancer and hospice books, in my capacity as the Practical Caregiver. One thing leapt out at me. My short Kindle guide to home hospice care had just as many stars as a couple of books produced by traditional publishers, and more than others. What does that say to you? Sure, my little book is short and sweet, to the point, and even free. I did it as a public service, as a means to educate the public, because I am passionate about families getting involved in the care of loved ones at the end of life. But it legitimately competes with traditionally published hospice works and holds its own.
And that, my friends, raises one of the most important points of all. In traditional publishing, decisions are made based solely on the potential of content selling a book. Think about that. You could have the world's best book, but if the subject matter doesn't appeal to the masses, it's adios, amigo!
One of the most important things to me as a writer is to write what I know. I try to fill my mysteries with characters that have...well, character. They look out for each other. They take the high road. They care about each other. Some may have cancer. Some may struggle with health issues or PTSD. Some may be trapped by circumstances beyond their control, whether it's a bad relationship or being an intelligence target. One thing my characters have in common is that they face their problems and try to fix them. They don't always succeed, and things don't always come out in the conventional way, but they never stop trying.
If I were to only write those stories that had mass appeal, wouldn't I be selling out for the buck? Sure, I could probably write the next "Fifty Shades of Grey", but I'd have to leave out the sex, and frankly, that much focus on an intimate relationship when the world is going to hell in a handbasket just doesn't appeal to me. I guess I could fake it, throw in some titillating details, but then I think about the authors I admire. They didn't have to be smutty to sell. Dame Agatha didn't dumb down her books to entice readers to play along with her guessing games by throwing in naked, writhing bodies in a Jello-filled, heart-shaped tub in the middle of the Poconos. "And then he took his sword and poked her, to get her attention. She swooned, falling naked back into his strong, trusted arms...." As an indie, I need to write what matters to me, so that my voice and my characters are authentic. I think that's true of my fellow indie authors out there, regardless of their passions.
For every reader who enjoys erotic literature, there are authors, traditional and indie. Can we really say that only those traditionally published deserve a peek? The same holds true for sci-fi, fantasy, romance, "chick lit", and mysteries. If anything, indies offer the public a greater selection from which to choose, and for those of us who have series of books, it's always wonderful when readers latch on and love our characters.
But the best part about being an indie author? The sky's the limit. There's no one telling me what I have to write. Those unpopular subjects that don't lure in the readers? If I have an important story to tell, I can, even if it's not pretty or popular. Right now, my spy fiction is taking a big hit -- almost the market equivalent of personna non grata. And yet, as the world tumbles forward into chaos, as the need to protect national security clashes with personal freedoms, we're still left with the problem of standing strong against bad guys.
I'm still in the learning process, taking my books forward and introducing them to readers who will find pleasure in reading them. I know that for those who have had a chance to get lost in my stories, they've enjoyed the wild rides. In fact, several readers have said my books weren't anything like they expected them to be. Part of that is that I haven't yet mastered book promotion. Part of that is the public bias against indies.
Yes, I'm proud to be an indie. I may not be perfect. I may not always catch every typo, misspelling, or grammatical error. But I do have good tales to tell and characters worthy of knowing. It may take time to build my audience, but I think it's worth it. If that makes me an idiot, so be it. At least I'm an indie idiot, a believer living the dream, and working every day towards my goal of producing books that hit the heart. That's called living life out loud, my friends. Carpe diem!
In other words, those of us who publish our own works of fiction and non-fiction are writing only slop, drek, schlock, crap....or the dreaded "pulp fiction". I don't know about you, but I resent that remark. Call me haughty. Call me proud. Call me an Indie. I'm happy to wear the "I" mark!
As a former librarian, I can let you in on a little secret. Not everything that traditional publishers produce is stellar. In fact, I used to troll through professional review journals to weed through the many, many choices, in search of the best books for my library's budget. A number of factors went into my selection process, including the all-important "library binding", because there's nothing worse than having a book fall apart on the fourth or fifth reading by patrons.
For those readers who assume that the only good books out there are those vetted, edited, and produced through the traditional routes, I've got news for you. There are plenty of stinkers out there. Just because they exist in the physical domain of paper and cover, that doesn't mean they're all winners, any more than it means that a digital book by an independent author is an amateur effort at best, or of poor quality.
There are many solid reasons for authors to go independent. A number of seasoned writers took that traditional route and didn't feel it was worth the trouble. For those authors who had the agent, the editor, the publisher, it didn't always guarantee success, literary or financial. And many hate the fact that they've lost their own intellectual property because they surrendered their copyrights.
Last night, I was combing through Amazon in search of cancer and hospice books, in my capacity as the Practical Caregiver. One thing leapt out at me. My short Kindle guide to home hospice care had just as many stars as a couple of books produced by traditional publishers, and more than others. What does that say to you? Sure, my little book is short and sweet, to the point, and even free. I did it as a public service, as a means to educate the public, because I am passionate about families getting involved in the care of loved ones at the end of life. But it legitimately competes with traditionally published hospice works and holds its own.
And that, my friends, raises one of the most important points of all. In traditional publishing, decisions are made based solely on the potential of content selling a book. Think about that. You could have the world's best book, but if the subject matter doesn't appeal to the masses, it's adios, amigo!
One of the most important things to me as a writer is to write what I know. I try to fill my mysteries with characters that have...well, character. They look out for each other. They take the high road. They care about each other. Some may have cancer. Some may struggle with health issues or PTSD. Some may be trapped by circumstances beyond their control, whether it's a bad relationship or being an intelligence target. One thing my characters have in common is that they face their problems and try to fix them. They don't always succeed, and things don't always come out in the conventional way, but they never stop trying.
If I were to only write those stories that had mass appeal, wouldn't I be selling out for the buck? Sure, I could probably write the next "Fifty Shades of Grey", but I'd have to leave out the sex, and frankly, that much focus on an intimate relationship when the world is going to hell in a handbasket just doesn't appeal to me. I guess I could fake it, throw in some titillating details, but then I think about the authors I admire. They didn't have to be smutty to sell. Dame Agatha didn't dumb down her books to entice readers to play along with her guessing games by throwing in naked, writhing bodies in a Jello-filled, heart-shaped tub in the middle of the Poconos. "And then he took his sword and poked her, to get her attention. She swooned, falling naked back into his strong, trusted arms...." As an indie, I need to write what matters to me, so that my voice and my characters are authentic. I think that's true of my fellow indie authors out there, regardless of their passions.
For every reader who enjoys erotic literature, there are authors, traditional and indie. Can we really say that only those traditionally published deserve a peek? The same holds true for sci-fi, fantasy, romance, "chick lit", and mysteries. If anything, indies offer the public a greater selection from which to choose, and for those of us who have series of books, it's always wonderful when readers latch on and love our characters.
But the best part about being an indie author? The sky's the limit. There's no one telling me what I have to write. Those unpopular subjects that don't lure in the readers? If I have an important story to tell, I can, even if it's not pretty or popular. Right now, my spy fiction is taking a big hit -- almost the market equivalent of personna non grata. And yet, as the world tumbles forward into chaos, as the need to protect national security clashes with personal freedoms, we're still left with the problem of standing strong against bad guys.
I'm still in the learning process, taking my books forward and introducing them to readers who will find pleasure in reading them. I know that for those who have had a chance to get lost in my stories, they've enjoyed the wild rides. In fact, several readers have said my books weren't anything like they expected them to be. Part of that is that I haven't yet mastered book promotion. Part of that is the public bias against indies.
Yes, I'm proud to be an indie. I may not be perfect. I may not always catch every typo, misspelling, or grammatical error. But I do have good tales to tell and characters worthy of knowing. It may take time to build my audience, but I think it's worth it. If that makes me an idiot, so be it. At least I'm an indie idiot, a believer living the dream, and working every day towards my goal of producing books that hit the heart. That's called living life out loud, my friends. Carpe diem!
