Heather Holleman's Blog, page 66
March 23, 2022
And I Saw Their Faces
Today felt surreal but profoundly joyful. Penn State lifted their masking requirement in classrooms. For the first time in 2 years, I taught without a mask and could see my students’ beautiful faces. And they could see mine. The difference is hard to describe in words. We were fully present, seeing one another, and engaging with our full face in this authentic and delightful way. We heard each other more clearly as well.
My energy for teaching returned. Their energy for learning kicked in in fresh ways. We laughed. We listened to music. We celebrated with scones. The discussion flourished.
I think that teaching in a mask required more energy than I realized. I think my brain was trying to interpret so many things and worked too hard to evaluate a student’s emotions or responses to my teaching without enough data. When you see the whole face, you know immediately how a student is feeling and whether they are tracking with your lesson. For the first time in two years, I didn’t feel tired leaving class.
Today is a new day! (While some students chose to remain in masks, everyone was respectful and kind to one another.)
March 22, 2022
Speaking of Risk
I’m learning about prosocial and positive risk. Consider the risk it requires to start a conversation with a potential new friend, to join a new club, to step into a new church? You might feel awkward or rejected, so the risk is real. That’s what makes these behaviors a risk. But it’s positive risk—risk with the potential for great reward.
Without risk taking, nothing changes. We don’t form new friendships. We don’t experience new things. We don’t ever turn the kaleidoscope of our lives. Take a positive risk. Risk every day.
March 21, 2022
Taking Care of Yourself
Today I asked my students how they are taking care of themselves. Never before have I seen so many exhausted, overwhelmed, and anxious students. How are you taking care of yourself? It’s a great question to ask friends and family to remind us all that one of our jobs in life is to take care of ourselves.
Besides the obvious answers of more sleep, better hydration, and exercise, I hear two answers that I love: cooking a delicious meal for yourself (and others) and saying “yes” to a social event you might want to say “no” to.
I recently made the New York Times recipe for Mattar Panner. It was nourishing for both body and soul. I also thought about saying “yes” to a social gathering when I might have instead stayed curled up on the couch to watch TV or scroll on my phone. It’s usually better to connect with real, not virtual, people.
March 20, 2022
The Creature Insists
My anxiety-ridden cat recently advanced to a peculiar routine. If I sit precisely in a certain spot on the couch, with the fuzzy brown blanket, Merlin will snuggle up beside me, turn on his side, and meow and meow until I rub his tummy, massage his paws, and pay him all sorts of loving attention. He purrs loudly, splays his paws, and rolls closer into me. He will not let anyone touch him otherwise. He runs into hiding most of the day.
If I turn my attention for even a second, Merlin presses harder, meows more, and turns his head around to give me a demanding over-the-shoulder-look. It’s a look that says, “I’m here. So do your part!”
My part is to love him and attend to him. I think about how insistent this creature is. I think about how adorable his pitiful meows are. I think about how all I want to do is love that odd little cat!
March 19, 2022
It Won’t Work
Yesterday I read John 4 and the account of Jesus talking to the Samaritan woman. I stay for a minute with these words about the water she seeks from the well: “Jesus answered, ‘Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life’.”
I think of it like this: You can do this or that, and it will satisfy you perhaps for a minute, but then you’ll need more of this or that. You’ll be thirsty for life and peace all over again. It won’t work: the new relationship, new house, new clothes, new location. We drop our jugs deep into the well of affluence or prestige. We hover around the well of fame or adventure. We pull up the offering, and for that moment, it’s wonderful. We think we’ve found meaning and real life, but then, suddenly, the illusion cracks and we’re empty again.
I love how Jesus invites a different way to satisfy spiritual thirst. Once you have Jesus, you have real life inside of you. You won’t thirst again.
March 18, 2022
Smallest or Most Common: The Best Ever
Today I thought about how the smallest and most common birds often make the most beautiful songs. Think of the wood thrush or the nightingale or the song sparrow. So tiny. So unassuming. So humble. And yet the song rings out across the forest in this majestic and marvelous way. Visit the Cornell Bird Lab to hear any bird’s song. I love the sparrow.
Or consider the haunting song of the Common Loon.
I love the chirping of the Belted Kingfisher, the cooing of a Mourning Dove, and the happy exclamation of the Eastern Bluebird.
What a gift to hear birds! What a joy to think about them and pay attention to their beautiful songs each morning! The glorious songs never match the tiny and sometimes common appearance. This discrepancy encourages those of us who feel common, ordinary, and small in the world. Sing out in the particular patch of earth God has placed you like the little brown sparrow who provides the soundtrack to everyone’s day.
March 17, 2022
A Little Quote I Saw in a Professor’s Office
It reads, “Any given moment can change your life. You just have to be there.”
It reminds me to stay attentive, to look for possibilities, and to keep hope alive.
March 16, 2022
Supportive Listening
Today in class, we tried a 15 minute supportive listening exercise. In random groups of 3-4 people, students told their group members what felt discouraging, what their stressful workload felt like, and/or what made them feel “stuck” in their research or writing for the honors college. The other group members listened in order to support, provide encouragement, and ask questions like, “What do you think you should do next? What’s your next step?” They also provided encouraging words or advice if appropriate.
They loved it! I told them about my own “Encouragement Group” that formed in 1999 that still meets each month. It’s a group of us from graduate school who gathered for supportive listening and encouragement. Now, we live scattered across the world (one member Zooms in from the UK) with different careers, but we all still need encouragement.
I asked my students if the activity inspired them to find a support group like this. I helped them take the next steps in forming such a group. A supportive listening group doesn’t mean you’re with your best friends; it means you’re with people working toward similar goals who seek professional encouragement. I highly recommend the practice!
March 15, 2022
Utter Humiliation
I recently read a quote from Oswald Chambers: “You must yield yourself in utter humiliation to the only one who can break the dominating power in your life, namely, the Lord Jesus Christ.”
I think about humiliation all morning. I think of Christ’s own utter humiliation on the cross.
I consider how one of the dominating powers in our life relates to all we do to avoid utter humiliation. We don’t know how to live humble, humiliated lives. We do whatever it takes to avoid embarrassment, shame, and humiliation. But what if that means we’re arranging our whole life to keep up, to perform, to make a good show of having a great house, achievements, beauty, wealth, influence, or anything else that makes us feel good or better than others? Why not simply live in utter humiliation and find a different and more authentic way to live?
What freedom to admit our feeble attempts to be OK in this life. Just be humiliated. Don’t let the fear of humiliation have any more power over you. Jesus will take over and build a new, real life for you.
March 14, 2022
A Statement of Clarity
I often return to 2 Chronicles 20:12 and this simple declaration to God: “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”
The statement comes from a place of confusion, powerlessness, and hopelessness, but at the very same time, it’s the clearest, most powerful, and most hopeful thing a person can ever say to God.
It’s clarity to say, “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
It’s clarity to say, “God you are my only hope.”
It’s clarity to say, “The one thing I know is to focus on you, God.”
If you know the story, God swoops in. The Spirit of the Lord says to King Jehoshaphat and all the fearful and discouraged people in the midst of looming attack. “For the battle is not yours, but God’s. . . You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.
