A.J. Race's Blog, page 4

It Get’s Better Isn’t Enough

In the Fall of 2010, Dan Savage and Terry Miller launched the itgetsbetter.org, after several incidents of LGBTQIA+ students being bullied led to multiple suicides during the course of that year. At the heart of their campaign was a simple premise, using the power of YouTube to create videos for LGBTQIA+ youth who were currently facing difficulty with bullying, with the message ‘It Get’s Better’. Within a matter of months the It Get’s Better Project took over the web as a slurry of celebrities and major corporations including Disney, Apple, Microsoft, Google, and Pixar came out in support of the project and filmed videos with their LGBTQIA+ identified employees, and their accounts of bullying and how, now as an adult life had gotten better for them.

Unfortunately for Savage and Co. a positive slogan and celebrity endorsements has lead to few actual policy changes. While many schools have adopted a Zero Tolerance Policy with regards to bullying of any kind, bullying at school is only a fraction of the equation and more often than not this zero tolerance policy is poorly, if at all, enforced. Worse still for far too many in the community this message came too little and far too late. Further more the specific focus on bullying towards gay and lesbian youth, with seemingly little to no mention of LGBTQIA+ persons who identify as bisexual, trans, non binary, gender queer or anywhere else on the gender identity and sexuality spectrums alienates large swaths of the community.

It is the simplicity of the idea that, at some indiscriminate time in your future things will look up, that makes the message at best, a heartwarming yet disingenuous attempt at ‘change’ and at worst facile. To suggest that if you could only hold on for one more day, ‘the sun will come out tomorrow’ (which is in essence, the theory behind it get’s better if you break it down) undermines the very reality of what it is like for LGBTQIA+ persons growing up in households where they are not treated with kindness, love, and compassion. Its oversimplified idea that high school is short, and once it’s over everything will turn around completely misses the fact that high school ending is not the end of harassment for many in the LGBTQIA+ community, especially those who are trans and gender nonconforming.

It’s simply not acceptable to suggest that things will get better, some day, we don’t know when but it will someday. While corporations and celebrities offering their support is a beautiful message, it does not help the small town trans girl, growing up in a religious household where she is constantly either ignored or outright psychologically tortured, and forced into reparative therapy or other dangerous religious zealotry in the hopes of ‘curing’ their child. These messages do not help the girl who fell in love with her best friend, who now hates her, and is receiving constant messages on social media and through email and text calling her a dyke. This does not help those outside of America, many of whom are killed or imprisoned by their government for being gay or trans.

In light of the recent death of Leelah Alcorn, and far too many like her, some of whom ended their lives and some of whom had their lives ended for them, the simple message of it get’s better is no longer acceptable. We need to do better. Especially within the LGBTQIA+ community. We owe it to ourselves, and to our youth, and to those who have died to make sure that we can stand here, out loud and proud, to make sure that their lives were not for nothing. We owe it to them, to the all too often forgotten, to give their life meaning.

It was Leelah’s wish that her death be added to the number of trans suicides for this year. The exact figures are tricky to calculate, but it’s estimated that somewhere between 42-50% of trans people will attempt or succeed in committing suicide. That’s fucked up, moreover it’s unacceptable. Leelah deserved better, the LGBTQIA+ community deserves better. If you or someone you know is LGBTQIA+ and is contemplating suicide, please contact:

Trans Lifeline: (877) 565-8860

The Trevor Project Crisis Hotline: 866-488-7386.

In closing: I am Narcissa Deville I’m a trans woman, author, blogger, and graphic designer, huge Madonna fan, lover of all things RuPaul, makeup addict and I am a #RealLiveTransAdult.

Filed under: LGBTQIA+ Tagged: It Get's Better Project, LGBTQIA, trans [image error]

Rewards of Editing

In the past I’ve touched heavily on how stressful editing can be, but I haven’t really talked about how amazingly rewarding editing can be as well. So today I’d like to take a little time out to discuss the rewards of editing.

The Perfect Bits

There’s no greater joy in a writers world than reading over a sentence or even a paragraph that is so perfect you almost can’t believe you wrote it. Especially if you’ve spent most of the time with a red pen making the paper bleed. There’s something incredibly refreshing about seeing that perfect little bit of writing that you’re just like. This is genius. I love it.

The Funny Bits

Like the above, this is the moment where you read over a joke (either an intentional one or unintentional one) that really makes you laugh out loud. I’ve had a number of times where what the character said wasn’t originally intended to be funny, but it actually works as a joke if you want it to. Making yourself laugh or even smile really brightens up the process.

The Plot Twist

Occasionally there will be a plot twist that comes along that even I didn’t see coming, so when you look back on it in editing, you’re sort of in awe of the fact that the story took this turn. It’s really great when you’ve forgotten about the plot twist so when it comes around again you’re as surprised as you were the first time around.

The Rest

Maybe the happiest moment is reading over something that you weren’t sure about when you wrote it but realize it actually came out really well… or perhaps your happiest editing moment is after a series of edits when you read over it and start to think it’s actually shaping up into something.

Reader Reactions

Perhaps the most exhilarating moment is when you finally finish and you allow someone to read it (even if it’s technically still going to need a few more edits) and they love it! There’s nothing more satisfying than knowing that your work is enjoyed. That’s why we write after all… for the readers and for ourselves.

The greatest joy, if you are lucky enough to get there, is to be able to read your story yourself and really really like it. It’s one thing to like the idea of it, but to really like it and be able to read over it, that’s magical, and it’s not an easy thing to do.

Filed under: editing, writing Tagged: author, books, editing, novels, positivity, writing [image error]

Just the Beginning

There’s an adage that I see going around the internet amongst writers blogs that suggests, if you were to write one page a day for a year you would have 365 pages, or an entire book written in that time. This is meant to help new writers who are struggling to just get something written, but I have to wonder… when you’re being told from the get-go how easy it is to write a book at what point are you told the reality, that writing the book is only half the battle?

Part of the problem many agents, publishers, and writers have with NaNoWriMo and similar book in a month programs is that they seem to hinge upon the idea that you can write an entire, publishable novel in just 30 days.* Agents are flooded in December with half baked NaNo novels from writers who don’t know any better because they weren’t given the full story and the cold dose of reality. So consider this it.

That novel you took 365 days to write? Isn’t a full story. The book you wrote in a month? Still not a whole story. It’s the start of a story. Maybe it’s even the heart of the story, but it is not a publishable, readable story. Yet. But how would a writer know this when no one is telling them? How do you learn about things when almost every blog suggests anyone can write a book. Everyone should write a book. All you have to do is write. 

That’s nice and all, and really pep-talks are great, positivity is great, I can’t stress that enough. You need people who are going to be in your corner, cheering you on, people who believe in you. You need a support system. But you also need to understand that writing isn’t as simple as, you wrote 365 pages in a year now your done. That’s an accomplishment, true and you should enjoy that fact you should feel proud of the fact that you created something. Maybe give yourself a break from it… take a little mini vacation (whatever that entails for you). Treat yourself a little bit. But remember, this is only the beginning. You’ve started the journey, but if you really want it to be publishable, even self publishable… you’re going to have to start the real work, and that’s editing.

For everyone who completed their goal during NaNoWriMo I salute you. It’s no small feat to write 50,000 words in 30 days. But, you’re just beginning to scratch the surface and for as exhausting as editing can be, it can also be just as rewarding.

*I’d like to point out that nowhere in NaNoWriMo does it say this specifically, in fact NaNo is the first to admit you should definitely edit your work after writing it.

 

Filed under: editing, NaNoWriMo, publishing, writing, writing about writing Tagged: author, books, NaNoWrimo, novels, writing [image error]

An Ode to Editing

There’s nothing like editing to make you wish you had never become a writer in the first place.

I’m… mostly kidding there. I realize I rant about editing a lot on this blog and I would apologize but, I feel like writers aren’t being real when they talk about the process and act like it’s all sunshine and roses. Yeah maybe ‘writing’ is… the first draft, but editing? Editing is sunburns and thorns. Editing is realizing that your sunny day is actually a fucking thunder storm and your roses are dead and wilted. Editing is being stuck in the haunted forest with 800 wolves chasing you from all directions.

It’s not pretty.

The good news is, and yes there is good news, editing is where you make the sunshine you thought you had, become a reality. Editing is where, eventually the roses become beautiful and alive again. There is a way out of the haunted forest, there is a way past the wolves and there is a light at the end of the tunnel (and surprisingly it’s not a train, although sometimes it can be so look out for that).

Editing is easily the most difficult part of the writing process, but it’s also the most important. Anyone can write a novel. Writing is the easy part, but it’s in the editing that the real test of a writers mettle is found. It’s the editing that separates the real writers from the amateurs and wannabes. Editing is not for the faint of heart, and if it feels too easy that might be because it is. Rare is the author who doesn’t need editing, so don’t expect that your story is perfectly fine, because that isn’t going to get you anywhere. You have to be willing to be honest with yourself, sometimes brutally so. You have to be willing to look at what you’ve created and if it’s garbage say so. But you also have to remember that it’s easy to get lost, often times when you’re writing you can’t see the forest through the trees as they say. So it’s important to know in advance what the bigger picture is. What’s the overall story you want the reader to come away with? Are you getting to the point or do your readers get lost in the forest with you?

There’s lots of different ways to edit, and I highly encourage trying out different things to see what works for you, it could take you years to finally reach that point that you say… oh I like this. It took me the better part of twelve or thirteen years to figure out a different way of editing I like. Check out blogs that offer editing tips and tricks, but keep in mind eventually everyone has to know when to say when.

Editing can be a vicious cycle, you can spend years editing and sometimes it may feel like there’s no end in sight. If it is in fact true that ‘Art is never really finished merely abandoned’ then you have to reach the point of being able to comfortably abandon the story enough to put it out into the world. The ‘finished product’ looks different for everyone. Maybe that will take you 3 drafts maybe 20, but eventually you have to find a way to say, there’s no more I can do. There’s always one more word you could have changed or one more comma or one more something you could have done differently. Eventually though, you have to say. This is it.

Ultimately, editing is a balancing act between this is terrible let’s fix it, and this is my story and I’m sticking too it.

Post-a-Day 2012

As I gear up to begin blogging every day in the new year I decided to reflect on the lessons I leaned blogging every day back in 2012/2013.

Words Matter

One of the major differences between a blog and a novel is all about word count. A blog is limited, no one’s going to read a five thousand word blog post, unless you were really popular or it was really that good. Even in novels longer chapters are falling out of favor, so unless your name is Stephen King or J.K.Rowling chances are you’re not getting away with long anything. Brevity is paramount to success.

Let it Go

This is by far one of the most difficult aspects for me, but one of the lessons that transfers over into novel writing. Posting every single day forces you into a strict routine with a tight 24 hour deadline. Which means you don’t exactly have weeks or months to revise and revise and revise some more. The key is getting it out there. And that’s one of the most difficult aspects of writing in general.

Perfectionism is a fools errand

This ties in very much to the above statement. I’ve long had issues with perfectionism, like most creative people and I think it’s safe to say I’ve written about it quite extensively over the years, so I’m not really sure what more there is to say on the subject other than… one of the lessons of blogging every day is that it’s not going to be perfect. Nothing is, there will always be something you could change.

The biggest lesson I think I learned is believing in myself and trusting myself. Ultimately there’s no such thing as perfection but if you can do a good job and you enjoy what you’re doing then it’s worth it.

New Beginnings

In just a few short weeks it will be 2015, and in just a few short weeks I will begin retiring the Cult of Racewood brand. I’ve thought long and hard about this decision. I’ve spent the better part of 2014 debating whether or not I should start an entirely new blog or simply repurpose this one or… I really didn’t know. Back in October during my Looking to 2015 post I explained that there were a few things I needed to consider about the direction my blog was going in, and whether or not to retire the Cult of Racewood brand and how to describe my thoughts and intentions with this has been a large part of that decision making progress. Ultimately however, I realized that I needed to make the change for myself. And while I’ve enjoyed the Cult of Racewood brand, and I have enjoyed the many readers I’ve been fortunate enough to find myself with over the last few years, I feel that I need to take myself in a different direction.

Coming in January I will be launching a brand new blog for my new brand called Devillicious by Narcissa Deville. This blog will feature everything from book reviews, to beauty box reviews, and of course posts about writing and life updates. In addition to short stories and a possible serial (I know I’ve been promising that for years but I really mean it this time). For now and through 2016, I will be running both narcissadeville.com and cultofracewood.com as I own the CultofRacewood domain through May of 2016, at which time I will discontinue the blog and likely the domain as well. I hope that some of the readers I’ve been fortunate enough to amass over these last few years on WordPress will join me at my new blog and hopefully you will enjoy the changes coming in the future. I have a lot of big plans, and I’m very excited for this new direction.

In an effort to keep the brand as seamless as possible on both sites, CultofRacewood.com will receive a brand update that matches the brand identity I’ve created for Devillicious by Narcissa Deville, in January. In an effort for similar cohesion I will be changing my Twitter handle and my Facebook Page during the same time, to my updated brand and name, all of which I will be sure to remind you of in due time. Thank you to everyone who has followed me on this adventure thus far and thank you to everyone who intends to follow me in the future. I could not have done this without any of you.

-xoxo

Narcissa Deville

(formerly A.J.Race)

Wishful Drinking: A Review

What can one say about Carrie Fisher that hasn’t already said before? The child star born of famous parents Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher Carrie is perhaps better known for her portrayal in the Star Wars trilogy than anything else. Her first novel Postcards from the Edge was a semi autobiographical account of her time in rehab, and the events that had lead her there.

In Wishful Drinking, Carrie takes us through her life post sobriety, her dealing with memory loss from ECT or Electroconvulsive Therapy. Wishful Drinking is a fascinating, hilarious, if not stream of consciousness look at the life of a child star and the ‘fall from grace’ that made her the person she is today.

It seems clear (for better or worse) that unlike most autobiographies which are aided by ghost writers, Carrie worked on this one alone creating a unique voice that fits rather well with the HBO special (also titled Wishful Drinking) which preceded the book.

         5 Smooches. I really love this book.

 

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Rebel Heart Pre-Review

Last night as a surprise to her fans Madonna released the pre-order for her next album Rebel Heart. Along with six songs from the album. After several of the songs and their titles were leaked on the internet earlier in the month it seemed inevitable to some that Madonna might release the entire album sooner than expected. While she didn’t quite allow those who would otherwise wish to reveal her plans early to force her to completely release the entire album she did release six songs from the album with another to come in February according to Billboard.com and the final release to be March 10th, 2015 according to iTunes.

It’s been nearly three years since MDNA, Madonna’s 12 studio album which largely received unfavorable reviews from fans and haters alike, but after a record breaking tour last year, and her latest album Madonna is set to prove she’s not done yet.

Working with major producers like Diplo, Avicii, MoZella and more, Madonna has brought together some incredible talent for this latest album and it shows. It’s likely we won’t know for a while yet what the pre-order sales look like, but with Living for Love and Madonna herself trending on twitter within hours of the release it’s clear that this may become one of her top selling albums.

We’ll have to wait another three months for the full album release, but for now I’m incredibly excited for what I’ve heard, and it was definitely worth the wait.

5 Smooches. I’m LIVING for this new album.

Mockingbird: A Review

A few years ago I discovered Chuck Wendig through StumbleUpon, from the moment I read his article ‘Beware of Writer‘ I realized that this was a blogger I needed to follow more. It wasn’t until last year however that I finally purchased his first book Blackbirds and fell in love with the Miriam Black Trilogy.

Mockingbird picks up where Blackbirds left off, following Miriam Black and her unique ability to see when people are going to die, as she comes across a school for troubled girls and a creepy killer with a penchant for wearing a plague doctor uniform. Filled with twists and turns and the deliciously fucked up imagery one comes to expect from Chuck Wendig, it’s sure not to disappoint. As always Chuck Wendig keeps us on our toes the entire time wondering what’s going to happen next.

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Birchbox Review December 2014

I’m absolutely obsessed with makeup, so it was only a matter of time before I started subscribing to some of the makeup sample boxes out there. Since Birchbox was the one I had heard of first, it was the one I subscribed too first. And now my first box is finally here! :D

Packaging

My first Birchbox… via Instagram.

As a graphic designer it’s all about the packaging and Birchbox didn’t disappoint. This is actually a super cute box. The picture has an Instagram filter and the actual color is more of a brighter blue which actually is really pretty. Even the shipping box, was branded and pretty cute.

Tocca Hand Cream in Cleopatra 4fl — $20

I’ve been obsessed with lotions for quite some time now, so when I saw that my first Birchbox included a hand cream I was super excited. The scent is grapefruit and cucumber which reminds me a little of Cucumber Melon (which my mother always wore when I was little). It’s incredibly soft, silky, and luxurious with a scent that’s pleasing but not so overpowering as to be all you can smell when you’re wearing it.

 Lord and Berry #5072 Sparkle Black Eyeliner– $18

This black sparkle eyeliner is actually super cute, and the perfect color for New Years Eve. I was a little nervous (as I tried it on in the car, which I don’t recommend) because I’m not really accustomed to actual pencil eyeliners versus the kohl liners which are super soft; it actually ended up working out nicely. I didn’t end up wearing it to work like I had initially planned, however I do plan to try it out for New Years so I’ll update this then to see if it has the staying power I need.

English Laundry Perfume 1.7 oz — $70

I really wasn’t sure if I was going to like this because I’m a little particular when it comes to scents. According to Birchbox the scent features:

Top notes of rose geranium with a backdrop of woody spicy and musky notes.

I’m not entirely sure what that’s supposed to mean, so I decided I’d have to smell it to get the full effect. I actually really like this scent more than I thought I would. I can’t think of any place that I could wear it however because it’s a bit too powerful for the office.

Coola mineral sunscreen/BB Cream– $36

According to Birchbox the product is a BB cream/tinted moisturizer… I’m pretty in love with BB creams right now (as is almost everyone in the makeup world. Thus far I’ve only tried a few, so I was curious when I first got this how it would work. I decided to wear it underneath my makeup for the day and what I can say is that it went on super smooth. It didn’t really seem to have a lot of color for being tinted, that said it felt really nice.

Real Chemistry 3 Minute Face Peel — $48

 

I would have preferred a mud mask type of product, however I think the problem was more my own inability to make it work, than necessarily the product itself. I haven’t used a face peel in a while and nothing quite like this.

Overall

It’s a pretty fun box. I liked being able to sample different products and brands all of which I had never heard of, and I was actually pretty pleasantly surprised. I’m interested to see what the new year brings for Birchbox. More makeup perhaps?

Interested in subscribing to Birchbox?