Jay Asher's Blog, page 41
October 11, 2010
The Psycho Circus is In Town
JoanMarie and I attended our first murder-mystery party this weekend. It's something we've both wanted to do for a long time, but never having been to one, we didn't want to organize the first one ourselves. Thankfully, that didn't stop some of our friends from throwing their first murder-mystery party.
The theme was...
Everyone was given a character with a motive. I was the Strong Man and JoanMarie was the Fortune Teller. Isaiah made up his own character and came as the Circus Peanut. He's so funny!
(I won for Best Costume, cuz that's how I roll!)
The Ringmaster greeted us and ushered us inside. But soon after everyone arrived, the Ringmaster was eaten by...or fed to...a lion.
So who did it? It could've been anyone. We all had our reasons. We all had the means. But I won't give away the killer's identity because this is a murder-mystery party you could be invited to in the future, and then that wouldn't be fair, now would it?
I will tell you that he or she is one of the faces within this cast of circus freaks.
Thanks for a great evening, Christian and Debra! Since you hosted this party on 10/10/10, maybe we'll host our first one on 11/11/11.
The theme was...
Everyone was given a character with a motive. I was the Strong Man and JoanMarie was the Fortune Teller. Isaiah made up his own character and came as the Circus Peanut. He's so funny!
(I won for Best Costume, cuz that's how I roll!)The Ringmaster greeted us and ushered us inside. But soon after everyone arrived, the Ringmaster was eaten by...or fed to...a lion.
So who did it? It could've been anyone. We all had our reasons. We all had the means. But I won't give away the killer's identity because this is a murder-mystery party you could be invited to in the future, and then that wouldn't be fair, now would it?
I will tell you that he or she is one of the faces within this cast of circus freaks.
Thanks for a great evening, Christian and Debra! Since you hosted this party on 10/10/10, maybe we'll host our first one on 11/11/11.
October 7, 2010
No, I wasn't feeling nice when I wrote this
I haven't spoken much on this blog about my personal feelings regarding suicide and bullying. Everything I want to say, I figure, can be found within my book. I also haven't commented on the recent "bullycide" cases in the news. Each time I almost say something, I find an article written by someone saying the same thing, but much more eloquently.
Today, I'm throwing eloquence out the window.
I just read an article in the latest issue of Newsweek, From Lockers to Lockup by Jessica Bennett, and it irritated the heck outta me. It mostly deals with the specific case of Phoebe Prince in South Hadley, Massachusetts. After Pheobe committed suicide, several of the students who bullied her were charged with various crimes. It's a complex situation and I'm not even sure where I stand on all the legal issues. But the legal issues aren't what disturbed me about this article.
Let's begin with a quote from South Hadley's superintendent, Gus Sayer. While these are Mr. Sayer's words regarding the bullies, they fit very nicely into the arc of Ms. Bennett's article.
Okay, can we at least be honest about the basics? Bullying is not what nice people do. Nice people, by definition, treat people nicely. Yes, everyone goes through phases. Hopefully these teens were not on the path to remain bullies their entire lives. But at the time Phoebe killed herself, they were not going through a "nice kid" phase (no matter how they acted around the superintendent).
What about regular? When you're bullied, yes, it can feel like the whole world's against you. But in truth, the majority of the students are not calling you a slut, threatening to beat you up, or throwing things at you from a moving car. The "kids" who are doing that are not the norm. They're not regular.
I love when members of the media call out the rest of the media for not doing a good job assessing the situation. It's often someone trying to call attention to the "real" issue, which only they have the guts to articulate. Unfortunately, Ms. Bennett says nothing new in her article. Plenty of articles (yes, in the media!) have pointed out Phoebe's history of suffering.
But what is the point of even bringing that up? Well...
Here's the thing. That's precisely why bullying is so dangerous. Bullies never truly know the people they're bullying (unless they happen to be bullying themselves). Everyone has different thresholds and different histories. Whether you bully a depressed person or a non-depressed person, you're still trying to make a human being suffer. That's your intent. And in Phoebe's case, they were very successful in making her suffer. But maybe this case is different. Maybe these bullies would've backed off had they known Phoebe's "demons."
After all, that's what nice kids do when they discover a person's weaknesses.
Let me get this straight. Cyber bullying is far-reaching, more visually potent, and harder to wash away, but it's no more extreme than traditional bullying?
Let me put it another way. Traditional bullying is not as far-reaching, less visually potent, and easier to wash away…making it easier to combat.
So your point was…?
Look, if the article's own calculations say cyber bullying is one-third less common than traditional bullying, that means it's as common two-thirds of the time. 66%! And if cyber bullying is so much more extreme (despite an attempt to say less equals more), then that's a huge problem.
If you don't agree with the other side, ridicule them! (After all, that's what nice people do.) Apparently, not only is the other side afraid of sticks and stones, they're afraid of every stick and every stone. In my opinion, it's the responsible parents who do try to protect their children from sticks and stones. But they also realize that some sticks and stones will get through. Then it's their responsibility to help the children learn from, and cope with, those bruises.
No, Ms. Bennett. Most people do not repeatedly cause emotional harm or create hostile environments. The fact that you think it's normal for people to be like that is interesting, though. Troubling, but interesting.
Good job, Newsweek.
Today, I'm throwing eloquence out the window.
I just read an article in the latest issue of Newsweek, From Lockers to Lockup by Jessica Bennett, and it irritated the heck outta me. It mostly deals with the specific case of Phoebe Prince in South Hadley, Massachusetts. After Pheobe committed suicide, several of the students who bullied her were charged with various crimes. It's a complex situation and I'm not even sure where I stand on all the legal issues. But the legal issues aren't what disturbed me about this article.
Let's begin with a quote from South Hadley's superintendent, Gus Sayer. While these are Mr. Sayer's words regarding the bullies, they fit very nicely into the arc of Ms. Bennett's article.
"These are nice kids, regular kids. They come from nice families. They were headed to college."
Okay, can we at least be honest about the basics? Bullying is not what nice people do. Nice people, by definition, treat people nicely. Yes, everyone goes through phases. Hopefully these teens were not on the path to remain bullies their entire lives. But at the time Phoebe killed herself, they were not going through a "nice kid" phase (no matter how they acted around the superintendent).
What about regular? When you're bullied, yes, it can feel like the whole world's against you. But in truth, the majority of the students are not calling you a slut, threatening to beat you up, or throwing things at you from a moving car. The "kids" who are doing that are not the norm. They're not regular.
The law (and the media) may assess the world in black or white, but the players in the case don't fit into neat categories. Phoebe suffered a terrible tragedy, but court filings have since revealed she had her own demons, too. She struggled with depression, self-mutilation, had been prescribed Seroquel (a medication to treat mood disorders), and had attempted suicide once before.
I love when members of the media call out the rest of the media for not doing a good job assessing the situation. It's often someone trying to call attention to the "real" issue, which only they have the guts to articulate. Unfortunately, Ms. Bennett says nothing new in her article. Plenty of articles (yes, in the media!) have pointed out Phoebe's history of suffering.
But what is the point of even bringing that up? Well...
Yet they couldn't have known how badly the stunt would end….In the case of Phoebe Prince, the answer of who's to blame might change if you knew that she had tried to kill herself before the epithets, was on medication for depression, and was struggling with her parents' separation.
Here's the thing. That's precisely why bullying is so dangerous. Bullies never truly know the people they're bullying (unless they happen to be bullying themselves). Everyone has different thresholds and different histories. Whether you bully a depressed person or a non-depressed person, you're still trying to make a human being suffer. That's your intent. And in Phoebe's case, they were very successful in making her suffer. But maybe this case is different. Maybe these bullies would've backed off had they known Phoebe's "demons."
After all, that's what nice kids do when they discover a person's weaknesses.
School bullying can be devastating, but social scientists say it is no more extreme, nor more prevalent, than it was a half century ago…Today's world of cyber bullying is different, yes -- far-reaching, more visually potent, and harder to wash away than comments scrawled on a bathroom wall. All of which can make it harder to combat. But it still happens a third less than traditional bullying…
Let me get this straight. Cyber bullying is far-reaching, more visually potent, and harder to wash away, but it's no more extreme than traditional bullying?
Let me put it another way. Traditional bullying is not as far-reaching, less visually potent, and easier to wash away…making it easier to combat.
So your point was…?
Look, if the article's own calculations say cyber bullying is one-third less common than traditional bullying, that means it's as common two-thirds of the time. 66%! And if cyber bullying is so much more extreme (despite an attempt to say less equals more), then that's a huge problem.
The reality may be that while the incidence of bullying has remained relatively the same, it's our reaction to it that's changed: the helicopter parents who want to protect their kids from every stick and stone…
If you don't agree with the other side, ridicule them! (After all, that's what nice people do.) Apparently, not only is the other side afraid of sticks and stones, they're afraid of every stick and every stone. In my opinion, it's the responsible parents who do try to protect their children from sticks and stones. But they also realize that some sticks and stones will get through. Then it's their responsibility to help the children learn from, and cope with, those bruises.
Massachusetts's anti-bullying statute defines bullying as repeated behavior that, among other things, "causes emotional harm" or "creates a hostile environment" at school. If it were applied to the real world, wouldn't most of us be bullies?
No, Ms. Bennett. Most people do not repeatedly cause emotional harm or create hostile environments. The fact that you think it's normal for people to be like that is interesting, though. Troubling, but interesting.
Good job, Newsweek.
October 3, 2010
Feelin' Minnesota
When I first began traveling to promote 13RW, I used to stay in every town at least one extra day to sight-see. No matter how small the towns were, I hated the idea of arriving, speaking and signing books, then flying out. Staying an extra day was such an amazing opportunity to check this country out!
But the homesick bug has been biting me hard and no matter how much fun I have while traveling, I love returning home. I haven't stayed an extra day in a long time.
When my plane began its descent into Minnesota, I immediately knew it would've been nice to stay an extra day. Trees here do something they don't do a lot of in California. In the fall...they change colors! And I can't tell if the trees are surrounded by lakes or the lakes are surrounded by trees, but it's absolutely beautiful. I'll never forgot those last several minutes on my flight here.
And the people? They're so nice! And their accents? Adorable.
But I was here to work. I gave two presentations at their regional SCBWI conference. Here's my view during my speech on how to turn any book into a page-turner.
One of the best parts about any writing conference is meeting, or catching up with, other writers.
Steve Brezenoff and Loretta Ellsworth.
Anne Ursu.
This is Ms. Ursu's second photo
with a New York Times bestselling author.
The first author? Barack Obama.
Susan Marie Swanson.
Ms. Swanson wrote The House in the Night, which won the 2009 Caldecott Medal. And that became my future son's second autographed book.
That boy's going to have quite a collection!
But the homesick bug has been biting me hard and no matter how much fun I have while traveling, I love returning home. I haven't stayed an extra day in a long time.
When my plane began its descent into Minnesota, I immediately knew it would've been nice to stay an extra day. Trees here do something they don't do a lot of in California. In the fall...they change colors! And I can't tell if the trees are surrounded by lakes or the lakes are surrounded by trees, but it's absolutely beautiful. I'll never forgot those last several minutes on my flight here.
And the people? They're so nice! And their accents? Adorable.
But I was here to work. I gave two presentations at their regional SCBWI conference. Here's my view during my speech on how to turn any book into a page-turner.
One of the best parts about any writing conference is meeting, or catching up with, other writers.
Steve Brezenoff and Loretta Ellsworth.
Anne Ursu.
This is Ms. Ursu's second photowith a New York Times bestselling author.
The first author? Barack Obama.
Susan Marie Swanson.
Ms. Swanson wrote The House in the Night, which won the 2009 Caldecott Medal. And that became my future son's second autographed book.
That boy's going to have quite a collection!
September 27, 2010
Books are Hot
Yes, reading is sexy, but that's not what I mean by Books are Hot. Yesterday, at the West Hollywood Book Fair, the books were hot because the sun was scorchin'! My car said the temperature reached 106-degrees, and I believe it because I saw a few books that were actually warping.
Warping!
And yet the book fair was a blast. My day began with an interview on the Teen Stage conducted by teen blogger extraordinaire, Ashley Thompson.
Ashley and her family drove all the way from Oregon so she could ...
Warping!
And yet the book fair was a blast. My day began with an interview on the Teen Stage conducted by teen blogger extraordinaire, Ashley Thompson.
Ashley and her family drove all the way from Oregon so she could ...
September 24, 2010
When in Rome...
Only positive things can come from teens and adults honestly discussing the serious issues presented in so many teen novels. That's why I'm always so happy to hear about parents reading Thirteen Reasons Why, or teachers working it into their curriculum. So imagine how thrilled it made me to know an entire community had decided to read and discuss my book! My visit to Rome, Georgia this week was only the conclusion to their lengthy discussion of bullying and suicide prevention.
On Thursday, ...
On Thursday, ...
September 21, 2010
One Book = MY BOOK!!!
This Thursday, I'll be participating in one of the greatest honors of my writing career. The beautiful folks in Rome, Georgia chose Thirteen Reasons Why as their One Book Many Voices community read. So I'll be heading Down South to speak at several schools during the day, then giving a community presentation that evening.
Their newspaper has been hyping my visit for several weeks. They recently held an essay contest for middle school, high school, and college students in order to have a spe...
September 19, 2010
Local Boy All Growed Up
Friday night was the beginning of the 26th Annual Central Coast Writers' Conference. The keynote speaker, Nathan Bransford, had a lot to live up to. His blog is one of the absolute must-reads for any writer hoping to get published. So how did he do? Sure, he's nice and charming and smart and engaging and optimistically realistic and informative and funny. So yeah, if you like that sort of thing, you would've loved his talk.
That was followed by the first workshop session. In this biz, th...
That was followed by the first workshop session. In this biz, th...
September 14, 2010
Central Coast Writers' Conference
This Friday and Saturday is the 26th Annual Central Coast Writers' Conference. This conference was my very first step toward taking myself seriously as a writer.
Here are my internal thoughts before registering for my first Central Coast Writers' Conference:
Here are my internal thoughts before registering for my first Central Coast Writers' Conference:
What in the world am I doing? If I do this, it's letting everyone know that I really want to be a published author. Who am I to think I'll ever write anything publishable? Everyone's gonna laugh at me!
Forget it. I don't need this! I can...
September 8, 2010
September 7, 2010
CelebrEIGHT!!!
Eight years ago today, JoanMarie and I both said, "I do." Two thousand eight hundred eighteen days later, looking back on everything, would we do it again?
"We would!"
(And yes, I did ask. Cynics!)
It's weird to think that this will be our last anniversary spent with just the two of us in our home. Weird...but wonderful.
Last weekend, atop San Luis Mountain.
If there's one thing that makes me feel like I'm absolutely glowing inside and floating a few inches above the ground, it's knowing that m...
"We would!"
(And yes, I did ask. Cynics!)
It's weird to think that this will be our last anniversary spent with just the two of us in our home. Weird...but wonderful.
Last weekend, atop San Luis Mountain.If there's one thing that makes me feel like I'm absolutely glowing inside and floating a few inches above the ground, it's knowing that m...
