Sherry Alexander's Blog, page 15

2014 GOALS

In a few more days 2013 will be gone, and 2014 will be here. So I am setting goals.

While I am not big on setting daily or weekly goals for myself, I do set long-term goals that I attempt to time manage. I say attempt, because I'm not great on time management either. Since I retired, a definite schedule is no longer necessary, and I have to say I wasted a lot of this year just getting used to not having to manage work, home, family, friends, and whatever else the world decided to throw at me. This year will be different.

Now that I have launched my dream career as an author and writer, I find it a necessary tool to keep me on task. However, I need your help. So I am going to set my goals in stone by writing them here for all of you to see. Then each month, I will bring you up-to-date on where I am in the scheme of things. I am asking that you--my friends--hold me accountable. So here they are:

See my non-fiction book The Great Camel Experiment of the Old West published. It is under contract with Collca EBooks, but there is no publication date as yet.Write and submit on short story for kids each month.Write the drafts for 12 picture books this year.Finish my picture book Fat Matt, The Hungry County Rat by February 1st.Submit Fat Mat to three publishers before March 1st.Write five craft projects for kids and submit them to children's magazinesFinish my novel writing course through the Institute of Children's Literature with my mentor Linda Crotta Brennan (award winning children's author--look up her books).Submit my YA (Young Adult) novel The Search for the Red Ghost to publishers.Submit my YA historical novel Little Owl Woman to publishersRead, read, readWrite my blog every week and update all of you on my progressFinally, to keep the problems kids face today in the forefront so those that can write will

FAT SMEARINGThis is the last of my series on bullying as ...

FAT SMEARINGThis is the last of my series on bullying as it relates to kids. Yes, bullying still happens to adults. Bosses bully, co-workers bully, mates bully, and even parents bully. However, since my primary interest is increasing awareness about kid-bullying, the other types of intimidation will have to be left to a later time. Instead, I want to talk about fat smearing—that is making fun of someone because of his/her weight. Yes—I know, some of you will see this and say, “Well she feels that way because she is fat.” Yes, I am. However, I am an adult, and I have to power to tell you where to jump. Kids do not.Today, one out of every three kids in America is overweight. Everyone from the First Lady, Michelle Obama, to Hollywood celebrities and well-known athletes have climbed on the bandwagon to bring attention to the “problem” and encourage parents to get their children to move and eat better. Great idea. But what happens when both parents have to work to put food on the table, and the child is a lock-key kid? Who is there to make them “move” then? Or, what happens when the parents (or parent) cannot afford to provide fresh vegetables and fruit?  Fresh foods are not exactly cheap these days. I am not saying that bringing attention to the problem isn’t important. And, I don’t agree with Jennifer Lawrence (star of the Hunger Games) who believes the word “Fat” should be illegal. It is. However, I believe that centering the spotlight on childhood obesity as an easily fixed problem, has also increased the bullying against kids who fit into that category.Fat smearing is not new. Rhymes such as “fat, fat, water rat, fifty bullets in his hat” or “Jack sprat could eat no fat, and his wife could eat no lean” have been around for decades.  It is just that with all the headlines hitting kids everyday about how important it is to lose weight, I believe, has led to an increase in bullying. Even the American Academy of Pediatrics has stated that an overweight child is more likely to be bullied than a kid who is not overweight. So what can you do if your child is bullied because of his/her weight?·         Let your child know that bullying—any bullying is wrong.·         Let your child know that you love him/her unconditionally.·         Talk to the child about how the bullying made him/her feel.·         Go to the principal, teacher, or other parent with the child to make the bullying stop.
·         Finally, if your child decides he/she needs to lose weight, center your conversations and solutions on getting healthy not on their weight. 

Fighting Back: Is it the Answer to Bullying? I ...

Fighting Back: Is it the Answer to Bullying?
 I was only seven years old when my babysitter put boxing gloves on me and told me to “duke it out” with the boy who was constantly harassing me. It was a short fight—he was nine and had twenty pounds on me. I suffered a bloody nose, a black eye, and several scratches on my knees from where I fell in the gravel, and a bruised ego. In this case, fighting back did not work and only made the bullying worse—until I told my dad, and he stepped in.
Today, there are many people—teachers, parents, and counselors—who agree with that babysitter many decades. They believe the only way to stop a bully is to fight back. But, is fighting back the answer? In truth—No.
While a good thumping might make a bully back off or find a different target, there are many situations where this is not a solution. What if the victim is smaller than the bully? What if he/she is not physically, emotionally, or mentally capable of handling a physical confrontation?  What if he/she is being cyber-bullied?   What if there are multiple bullies?
Bullying overwhelms its victims, and prolonged bullying can cause panic attacks, depression, fear and even terror. These feelings make the victim feel powerless. Telling him/her to fight back if they can’t increases the negative feelings they are already experiencing. They begin to wonder what is wrong with them, or blame themselves. In the end, the depression wins out and we continue to see an increase in kid suicides, drug use, emotional breakdowns, and family disconnects.
So how can we fight back and stop bullying? I think the Stand Up campaign is one way. It helps kids identify bullying and put a stop to it together. Kids like the 5th grade football team at Williams Intermediate School in Bridgewater, MA. are standing up and saying stop it. In this school, the six-year-old boy who had a speech problem due to a brain hemorrhage when he was only a week old was bullied. When the football team found out about it, they rallied the team and the school to support “Danny”. The bullying ended because no one would allow it. So what do you think is the best way to fight bullying? Please take a minute to share your solutions with us.

 
 

Conversation with a bully . . . . Why do some peop...

Conversation with a bully . . . .
 Why do some people use physical or verbal—including social media—tactics to make another person feel uncomfortable or harassed? Why do they push their victim to the breaking point? Does it make them feel better to make another person feel worse? Here are three conversations with people—two kids and one adult—who readily admit they are bullies.
·         My name is “S”, and I am 12 years old. I don’t think I’m a bully. I just like to have fun, and teasing is fun. That’s all it is anyway—teasing. You may call it bullying, but if a kid is too quiet to tell me to stop it, then that’s their problem not mine.
·         I’m “E” and I’m 15 years old. My BFF didn’t like this other girl that was two years younger than us. I guess she looked at her boyfriend or something. Anyway, we decided to get her back. We sent her texts about her ugly hair, her braces and the way she walked. We even took pictures of her with our phones and posted comments—not mean, really, but ones to make people laugh then sent it to friends who sent it to other friends. She—the girl, I mean, committed suicide last month. Her parents think it’s because of us, but I don’t think we did anything wrong. Everyone is picked on for something.
·         Bullying is an art, and I have practiced it since I was in grade school. I like to win, and part of winning is undermining the other players in the game. As a boss, it makes me feel good to see my employees squirm when I come in. They work better.
Babies are not born bullies. There is no intrauterine test to weed out the bullying chromosome. It is a learned behavior. Somewhere along the line, the bully discovered that threatening to punch another kid out, or make fun of him or her put that kid under the control of the bully. Bullies like control. They want to win, to dominate someone else, and it isn’t just a “kid” problem. Adults are just as bad.
The reasons are almost as numerous as the definitions of a bully. Maybe they were victims at one time. Maybe they never developed self-control, or learned how to handle their own anger. Maybe they have a sadistic personality, and enjoy watching others suffer. Maybe they have an inflated ego, and believe everyone else is beneath them. There are more maybes than answers.
The only way to combat it is not to allow it. If you are a bully—stop it! If you are a victim—tell the bully to stop it. If you are a witness—stand up and stop it!

IS IT JUST DRAMA OR IS IT BULLYING? &n...

IS IT JUST DRAMA OR IS IT BULLYING? 

     Bullying—the act of harassing or intimidating a person—is wrong pure and simple. Statistics for 2010 show that over 2.7 million kids are bullied every year in the U.S., and of that number, more than 160,000 miss school because they are bullied.      Bullying is defined as the continued harassment or intimidation of a person who appears to be weaker or different. Some people, like the father of a student who posted a video on line of a classmate who suffers from Asperger’s Syndrome, feel it is the victim’s fault, and that his or her actions are to blame. Others believe that kids have always joked about someone and it’s just “drama”, and should be ignored. But, I have to ask, is it just drama or a victim’s fault when personal property is destroyed, jackets are slashed, violence is threatened or actually carried out, or rumors are spread through social media? You decide.·         Two first grader boys are pushed then punched by a second grader, and forced to sit in a mud puddle at recess. Drama or Bullying?
·         A 12-year-old middle school girl receives daily notes of sexual innuendos from three girls for over a month. One day, she returns from lunch to find tampons taped all over her desk. Drama or Bullying?
·         A ninth grade boy is repeatedly called names because of his small stature, and his clothes are ripped and thrown in the trash after football practice. Drama or Bullying?
·         Two 13-year-old girls post messages on social media making fun of a 12 year old girl’s appearance, family, and post pictures of her walking, talking, sitting in class, etc. with derogatory comments attached. Drama or Bullying?     These are just four of the milder examples of what I call bullying. In each case, the “authorities” in charge determined no bullying occurred, and labeled the incidents as “drama” even though one of these young people committed suicide to end the torment.      Books such as Eric Gale’s The Bully Book and Lauren Oliver’s Before I Fall are bringing light to the effects of bullying, but it’s not enough. Publishers, editors, and writers can do more.
“To know is to learn.”

BULLYING: Why Should I care? Recently I wrote a sho...

BULLYING: Why Should I care?
 Recently I wrote a short story called Jumping Puddles for a children’s magazine. In it, a third grader named Angie faced an aggressive bully at school. Threatened both emotionally and physically by a girl a year older and much bigger than she was, Angie was forced to take part in a demonstration of skill. In the end, Angie learned that she did not have to prove herself to anyone, and even found something she admired in her bully. Wouldn’t it be nice if all cases of bullying ended the same way? Unfortunately, they do not.
All one has to do is listen to the news, or read a newspaper to find the detrimental effects of bullying. In one of my neighboring towns, several young people—one was only eleven—have taken their own lives in the last two years.
As a mother and grandparent, I am outraged, and in that anger, I have to ask, why? Why would a child—yes, I said child—feel that what a classmate thinks, says, or does is so bad that he or she no longer wants to live?  Wasn’t there anyone who the boy or girl could talk to? Where are the parents—grandparents—teachers?
Webster defines a bully as “a person who tends to browbeat or intimidate others”. When I was a child, it was relatively easy to identify the bullies in school. Most of them didn’t bother with emotional torture, they came right out and shoved you into a garbage can, or made you bob for apples in the toilet, or stole your towel and clothes while you were showering after P.E.  They were always bigger than you were, and had a “reputation” to live up to. I’m not saying that emotional bullying didn’t happen. It did, but forty years ago there was no Facebook, no Instagram, no texting, and no one had their own cell phone.
Today, all the social media—good and bad—are within reach for kids as young as three years old. Young kids develop who they are based on what they read, see, and are told—and they care, really care, what other people think about them.
I am a firm believer in self-fulfillingThese are all things that each and every one of us should think about. My next entry will include comments from kids who are being bullied, and hopefully provide a look into the heart of the victims. Until then, ask yourself, “Why should I care?”

THE INTENTION OF MY AMBITIONIt took me a while, but I fin...

THE INTENTION OF MY AMBITIONIt took me a while, but I finally have it--the intention of my ambition with this blog! I write for both adults and children, but my heart lies in children's literature. Today's kids face much more than their parents, grandparents, aunts or uncles. Some authors are writing about it, others are not. I want this to be a place where things that are right should urge others (and myself) to write, talk, and understand.You already know from my previous nattering that topics such as bullying, domestic violence, grounding, single parent families, blended families, building your own self-esteem, and a host of others will appear like falling leaves. You can catch them, let them crumble in your hand or allow them to spark an idea, a thought, a different way of looking at them, or even a new story (if you write).I'll also do book reviews from selected "kid's lit" and announcements of new books hitting your favorite ereader, bookstore, or library shelves. If you're a parent, you'll learn what's out there so you can gain the knowledge of choice. If you're a kid, you might find that catching the reading leaf is something to treasure and excite.Of course, occasionally you'll hear about the comings and goings of Sherry, the author, or Sherry, the not-so-easy-to-get-published writer of short stories, or even Sherry, the Institute of Children's Literature's befuddled student of Young Adult and Middle Grade fiction writing. But you will also see samples of writing from different young authors (and maybe one or two from myself), and the occasional short story. Next post will cast several leaves at bullies--what makes someone a bully? Is it an inherent meanness or are they insecure like the rest of us? What leaf will you choose?

Now for some really great news! Two fellow authors, Beth Consugar and Mikki Sadal, have created two books you should really take a look at.

Swanee Day written by Beth Consugar and just released by Halo Publishing--a beautiful picture book about a special holiday for Swans, and little Grace who has forgotten her manners. Will she learn what to do before the day is over?



Scheduled for released the beginning of November from Museit Up Publishing by Mikki Sadil is a historical novel set in the South just before the Civil War. A Young Adult novel about a thirteen year old who is fighting his own war against slavery. 





amazon.com/author/rightsherry

HelloThis is my first blog, and frankly I haven't quite d...

Hello

This is my first blog, and frankly I haven't quite decided where to take it.

Life has always been a series of curiosity journeys for me much like catching leaves. As a new leaf, or idea, fell in my peripheral vision, a little voice inside my head told me to grasp it, examine it, and then decide if it was worth experiencing it. If it was, that little leaf embedded itself in my heart and soul and became part of who I am. Through the time I've been granted to exist on this earth, I've had the privilege of collecting numerous leaves--some green and promising a new and better future--and some moldy and dark promising nothing more than trials and tribulations. Each one, however, propelling me in a different direction.

One of the leaves I grasped when I was very young put a pencil and notebook in my hands. It became a place of refuge--a net of sorts to catch my dreams, my passions, my heartaches, and my fantasies. As I grew older, other leaves fell and I became a wife, a mother, a friend, a confident, a big sister, an entrepreneur, a cleaner of toilets, a digger of ditches, a child educator, and a crisis junkie. Through it all, that initial leaf kept whispering. "You need to write! You need to write!"

I listened briefly twenty some years ago, and published over 200 articles in newspapers and magazines. My first book The Home Day Care Handbook, written on a dare, brought me speaking engagements and a parenting column. However, economics dictated a change in careers, and writing became only something for reports and technical lesson plans.

Now that leaf is whispering again. Yes, I am writing once more, and my second book will soon make its debut through Collca EBooks. But while this blog will update you now and then about where my journey is taking me, it will not be dedicated to writing alone. It is my hope that it will provide food for thought or another way to look at the world. Specifically, it will cover a multitude of topics surrounding children, parenting, grand-parenting, friendship and self-esteem. So, come journey with me. Think of it as another leaf for you to catch!