Traci Depree's Blog, page 166

Tebow Who?

You might want to throw rotten tomatoes at me for this blog. Well, have at it.

Since we got rid of the TV several months ago my perspective on media and pop culture has made a gentle shift. I think for the better. I'm not constantly inundated with news stories about the latest horrible crime that was committed, the constant flow of negativity that the media throws at us, or the messages network TV wants to brainwash us with. The silence emanating from the corner of our living room adds a level of peace to our home that I hadn't expected when I told Dish Network bye bye.

But I also am not privy to such pop culture phenomenons as the whole Tebow thing. He's a football player who isn't ashamed of his faith, right? Okay. That's good. But why do we make such a huge deal of it? He's a man, with flaws. Remember when Mel Gibson directed "The Passion of the Christ"? Christians were all over it, exclaiming how wonderful it was. And it was.

Don't get me wrong, I believe we should be examples to the world of our faith, and that's awesome, but what happens when Tebow starts losing games? Will God have left him?

Here's the thing. There is an enemy who wants nothing more than to pull these people down so we Christians look like fools for having paraded him around. He barrages them with criticism till they begin to doubt themselves, then he puts temptations in their paths. Strong temptations that cause them to fall. It happened to Mel. I'm not saying it will necessarily happen to Tebow! Heaven forbid.

But when we put people up on a pedestal like this, we're asking for trouble.

God's blessings aren't about winning or getting rich. That's the world's view. God blesses us with His presence through the good times and the hard times. He's there through it all, loving us, helping us through it. This is what the world needs to know. Not that God made Tebow a winner. Really? We think God is that shallow?

We already have a Hero. And this Hero stood strong when the enemy tried to tempt Him. The crowds criticized him too and they nailed him to a cross, but He rose from the dead!

Let's keep Him on the pedestal, and instead of looking to Tebow to be the example let's BE the example ourselves, of lives lived in faith, whether we're winners or not.

Traci

Big Stones First

Whevener I have a book signing or speaking engagement there are invariably two things that people say to me. "How do you find the time, with five kids, to write?" and "I've always wanted to be a writer."

If you want to do it, why don't you?

Because the truth is if it REALLY mattered nothing would keep you from it. We all put our time where our values are. We can say we love to cook but if all we eat is takeout, our words are pretty hollow. We can say we love someone but if we spend absolutely no time with them, what kind of love is it? What's ironic is, this principal fits the whole writing mantra of "Show, don't tell." If you want to do something don't flap your jaw about it, get out of bed and show the world! Move away from the TV and find a quiet spot. I'm not trying to judge here. Heaven knows I've wasted time doing things that I don't really need to do! And sometimes the most valuable thing I can do is take a nap. But if what's coming out of your mouth matches reality it needs to impact your calendar.

It's a personal matter for everyone.

There are seasons that I don't write at all because there are more important things in my life. It's okay to admit that.

But if writing matters to you, make the time. I recently read a book by Joshua Becker called  "Simplify." The one takeaway that I really appreciated about this book was a story he told about a teacher who brought out a large jar and some stones. He filled the jar and asked the students how much more he could fit in. They said, "Nothing." Then he got out some gravel and shook it down, asking the same question. Next came sand and water. When the students had thought the jar was full it still had more room. Finally he said, "You see if I didn't put the big stones in first, they never would have fit."

The big stones are whatever really matters to you. They need to come first. If it's your relationship with God, spend time with Him! If it's having a clean house, do it first thing. If it's exercise, get up and move. If it's writing, set aside a chunk of time and chunk away at it. Some people aren't morning people. Getting their brains to put a sentence together at five a.m. just isn't possible. If that's you, find a different time.

Don't allow perfectionism to keep you from doing at least a little. Too often we think we need to write massive amounts to finish a book. One sentence at a time, that's all it takes. If all you write is one page per day--that's 250 to 300 words--you'll have written 365 pages in a year. 

Write an outline! Some writers have the ability to start with a kernel of an idea and turn it into a full fledged story without having any sort of an outline. I would say the successful ones are rare. It's too easy for plots to get sidetracked and plotlines dropped. If you don't want massive rewrites later on I can't recommend outlining enough. Having a map is a great way to arrive at your destination with few detours along the way. I'll cover some awesome ways to develp an outline in a later blog so stay tuned.

In the mean time, just do it!

 

Just Getting it Right

Now that my eldest daughter is twenty-three I'm just learning how to be a decent mother. She might disagree with me--hopefully!--but I didn't have a clue what I was doing while she was growing up. I remember when Cait was born and the nurse said, "Okay, you can take her home."

Instant panic seized me. What did I know about taking care of a baby? They were going to trust me with this tiny person? Without some kind of instruction? That's just crazy! Somehow we managed to keep her and her sisters alive. But we aren't really taught how to be parents. We're shown, kind of, IF we were paying attention to what our own parents did and didn't do as we grew up. But who knows if they knew what they were doing? I tried, mind you. Disciplined them, volunteered in their classrooms, signed them up for T-ball and swim lessons, led a Girl Scout troop.

But, honestly, when you're twenty-five you don't know squat. I'm speaking of myself, mind you!

Perspective changes as we age, thankfully. Now at almost 48 I'm just figuring out what really matters and what does not. Both of those things are key to making good decisions as a parent. For example when Cait started on the tennis team in seventh grade I thought it was really important that she play well and win. Guess what? NOT important.

I thought it was really important that my girls get a four year college degree, but it's far more important that they find their life in Christ and do whatever He wants with their lives, whether that means college or not.

I thought popularity, having lots of good friends, was important. Turns out that is often a snare, especially with the wrong kinds of friends, that leads to all manner of problems. Better that they be unpopular but grounded in who they are.

I thought it was important that we provide a nice home and a pretty wardrobe, but what they really want is time with us. If we live in a hovel, they don't really care. I grew up in a trailer court. My mom loved me and knew how to show me. I never felt deprived. Sure, kids teased me about it. But I didn't care what they said. We were a solid family.

Time is really all we have with our kids, and trust me as someone who's already raised three of my five girls, it goes swiftly. I keep thinking I can go back, but in truth while I can advise them I'm really done raising them. I can be their friend now, but the patterns they established during those years when I was too busy running here and there to actually pay attention are set.

So, I'm doing it differently with our two little girls. I'm paying attention now! Knowing that in everything I do I am the teacher. So what lessons do I want to teach them?

To love God above all else, and know deep in their hearts that He loves them and will never forsake them.

To be kind.

To be respectful--of others, of our home, the planet.

To look for ways to bless others, be givers.

To pray and seek Him always.

To do their best at everything they put their hand to. And that means not putting their hands to so many things that this isn't possible.

It's too bad it's taken me so long to figure all this out. But I know something else, God can use my poor parenting too. They might need to learn forgiveness, but that's a good thing. He is in the business of redeeming after all and they didn't turn out all bad. ;)

I love them!

Traci

Moving to a Small Town

Sixteen years ago my husband and I decided we were done with suburban life. We'd been in the Twin Cities most of our married life. We'd built a house in the south metro, but even after several years we knew few of our neighbors and those we did know didn't share our values. We were lonely, searching for connection, a place where we mattered and others knew us by name.

John, my husband, brought home a book from the library entitled "The Have-More Plan." Written in the 1940s it chronicled the life of a couple from New York who moved rurally and began to raise all their own food, creating a "simpler" life for themselves. It sparked a dream in us. A small place in the country with room for a huge garden, a barn for animals, a few chickens. A place to make memories with our then three girls.

So we drew a semi-circle around the south metro, within driving distance to John's work (an hour each way) and began to look. And look. Some towns just didn't have the right "feel" to them. It's hard to explain, but when no one greets you or offers a wave, you get the sense that being the newcomer might be a hard thing to ever overcome. Finally we found a town where people waved, asked our name. There were more churches than bars here, so we felt fairly confident that the town would have a moral center at least. And the influences we hoped to avoid in raising our children would be minimal. So we set up some viewings, finally settling on a small five-acre spread south of town. The rambler was in need of some TLC, mostly cosmetic other than a water problem in the basement that we fixed. It had a shed for animals, lots of room for a garden and an orchard. It was heaven!

We moved in and set about making the place ours. We tilled and tilled to create a half-acre garden. We planted hundreds of trees--the place had been mostly a windbreak and lots of open space. We fenced a large area for horses, goats and sheep, and a yearly steer. We dug a pond in the back. We got chickens and ducks and rabbits.

We were on our way! In the winter when the snow got deep I would crawl over the fence to care for the animals and when harvest time came I'd be out picking more zucchinis than I ever needed! I canned and pickled, cooked fresh and worked hard. Oh, such good memories.

And here we made friends. We joined the Methodist church in town and people actually talked to us! I went to the library and the librarians remembered my name--okay, we bought our house from the town librarian! It was meant to be a book lover's house. Now, I can't go to the grocery store for a gallon of milk without seeing several people I know who want to stop and chat. And it's wonderful.

Sure, there are some down sides that I'll not go into in this post but the thing we had been looking for--people who knew us and cared--we finally had found.

:)

Got Hope?

1 Peter 3: 15-16 says: "But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander."

Oh, I love this! The reason for our hope! After all what hope is there for those who haven't found their  peace with God? The world doesn't have hope, not a hope that lasts. They have temporary fixes. The stuff they buy, the fun they chase, how good they look, how many friends they have, even the good deeds they do in an attempt to matter. But death comes to all. Temporary fixes fade, people go away, fun is replaced by sadness and old age, stuff ends up in the dump--where are they left then? Hopeless.

But we who have discovered what it means to be loved by an eternal God, a God who would give up His own Son to die on a cross have a hope that goes on. Circumstances can't touch it, sadness can't wipe it out. When beauty and friends fade, this hope is forever! This isn't some pat answer, some cliche--"God will work it out." God HAS worked it out. It's a done deal. We can rest in it. There's nothing we can do to add to what Christ did on the cross. Not a speck of good works can make it better. There's nothing we can do to make Him stop loving us. He already loves us more than we can imagine. God who hung the stars knows us by name and adores us individually! How stunning is that? Oh, that the world would know that love!

We are to give a reason for our hope to any and all who ask--meaning this hope is evident in how we live our lives. It shows. So, when people ask, what's your story? What will you say when people ask you how you can go on after insurmountable odds?

Let them see your HOPE! Let God instill that hope deep within you as you grow up in Him!

Traci 

 

 

Living Intentionally

We only have a certain number of days on this planet. Some of us more than others. Since the death of my mother and father-in-law this past year I have become even more aware of this truth. I remember when my mom was my age and to be honest it wasn't that long ago! The Bible says our life is but a breath. How true.

How we spend that short time is up to us. It's so easy to let one moment roll into another without giving it a thought. Before we know it years have passed. And what have we accomplished? What does it add up to?

I'm not saying our life doesn't matter if we aren't productive. Getting stuff done isn't what I'm talking about.  Sometimes we need to get stuff done. I'm talking about the minute by minute decisions that add up to a life. Do I clean the bathroom or work on that proposal or play with my kids? How do you choose which of these is of greatest importance? Because honestly, sometimes playing with the kids is far more important than writing that great American novel. And sometimes having coffee with a neighbor matters more than havng a clean house. 

The difference we make in the lives of others, how we encourage them in their walk with Christ, how we teach our children what really matters--these are the things that will live on. Our true legacy. Yes, writing a book or accomplishing a lot in your career can be important. If it's what God wants you to do. But sometimes it's hard to know.

Having perspective helps. When you realize the brevity of life it puts things in immediate order. So, ask yourself this question--at the end of my life will this thing I'm struggling with matter? Will I even remember it? Then make your decisions centered around that.

Living this way has forced me to make some changes. I wanted my children to SEE how deeply my faith matters to me. Sure, I talk about my faith with them. But the rubber needs to hit the road. So I started volunteering in our church's AWANA program. I love it. And the thing is not only do my kids see Mom with a heart to reach children with the gospel, I am blessed in knowing the children at church. I want my children to know that learning and doing their best at school matters for their future so I give my time there too. I want my family to know that they matter to me so I work hard to create a nice home. I want my girls to become confident young women so I"m an example in my work life, an entrepreneur in my business. Not just because I enjoy it and feel God has gifted me there--which I do--but because I know that in everything I do I am an example to them. I want to bless others so I guard my tongue, choosing words of kindness over harsh criticism. And on it goes.

Do I fail sometimes? Absolutely! Often, actually. But that's the beauty of living in grace. We also get to show others that God loves us in our failures, that it's okay to mess up, to forget our priorities and let God pull us back to center.

We are meant to live intentionally. Led by the Holy Spirit so the world can know Him.

Traci

A Title Says it All

In looking through my many resource books on the power of a good title I was amazed to find little advice, or at least few chapters, on the topic. A title is the first thing that catches your reader's eye. It can draw someone in, make them curious about your book, want to read it!

So you need to think long and hard about your title. Sometimes a great title lands in your lap out of the blue, before you've written a word. That's rare. More often a good title bubbles forth from the text as you write. It should encompass the essence of your story. Ask yourself, what is the deeper message of your story?

A great example of a title that encompasses the essence of story is To Kill a Mockingbird. In one scene, Atticus is discussing getting his first gun and his father's advice. His father told him he could shoot all the bluejays he wanted, but it was a sin to kill a mockingbird, because mockingbirds only brought beautiful music to the world. In this way the title captures the core of Tom Robinson's dilemma--as a wrongly accused black man found guilty of rape, he is the mockingbird.

So look for something that pulls up your core themes.

Find impactful words. Titles with the word "heart" in them are cliche. Find words with punch. Words that get the reader's attention. When I titled my first books I searched my synonym finder looking for great words to use, then combined and recombined until I found titles that worked.

Less is better. If you can use one word to capture your book, do it! A short title is so much more memorable for the reader than something long-winded. Ted Dekker's Red and Black are easy to recall. You want readers to be able to pull up your title when they are recommending it to their friends.

Every word matters. Words carry nuance, subtle meaning that can be either positive or negative to the reader. Pay close attention to the nuances of every word you choose. In titling my third book the publisher offered A Fistful of Dandelions. Not bad on the surface, except that fists pull up images of fistfights, anger, and it seemed too close to "A Fistful of Dollars." Hardly the message we wanted to relay. So we settled on Dandelions in a Jelly Jar. It offered that gentle sensibility we needed, and spoke of a child's offering. Much more the essence of the story within. So, pay attention to every word, make sure you aren't sending the wrong message.

Titling a book is hard work. Take your time to get it right before you pitch it to an agent or publisher. They're people too--it will sway their opinion of your book! In fact, always treat your agent and publisher like readers. But that's a topic for another blog.

Happy titling!

Traci

No, this isn't my second marriage

We have two families. An older one, with three adult children, well, mostly adult if you call seventeen adult. And a younger one with a ten- and seven-year-old. So people often think we are on our second marriage. No, we've been married for 26 years. All five are ours.

But there are challenges that come with having two families. Finding things to do that everyone enjoys without breaking the bank! Feeding everyone foods they like, juggling schedules, trying not to lose touch with our older children. So making special dates with them. While our friends are enjoying--and bemoaning--their empty nests and the welcoming of grandchildren I'm still working on fourth grade math and hustling to piano lessons and AWANAs.

Would I trade it? Never.

When our now seventeen-year-old was in second grade we discovered I was pregnant with Willow. A total surprise. It took me a while to come to terms with having another child. I had been thinking that we were done, but God had another plan in mind for us! I'm so glad He did. Willow is a delight to us. When she was about one year old my sister and brother-in-law decided to follow God's call to work with orphans in China. They played a slideshow of children waiting for families. My heart broke. So many children without moms and dads to love them. Almost immediately we decided that we too should adopt; since we had Willow it made sense to give her a little sister to grow up with! Two years later, Jem Hana entered our lives, a beautiful little girl who fills our home with joy.

God knew we'd need Willow if we were to adopt Jem! I love how He does that. Sometimes we don't understand how He works or why something happens. But He's always working!

Oh, to trust Him always.

Happy Wednesday,

Traci

 

A New Year

I'll admit I struggle with this whole blog thing. Am I just wasting time writing for no one? Maybe. Of course that's the question writers have about all their writing--will anyone read it?

Thankfully I do have an audience of One, so I'll write for Him. I'll even blog for Him, and if He can use it... Well, He's into miracles.

So, here's my New Year's resolution: I'm going to start daily blogs but with varying topics, one for each day of the work week. If there's a holiday or if my kids are home from school all bets are off.

Mondays: Bible study—Starting the week out right. We'll dig into a Scripture to focus on for the week.

Tuesdays: Small town life—The ups and downs of living in a small rural town

Wednesdays: Life with children—They keep us on our toes. Stories about family--ours and others.

Thursdays: Writing and editing—book recommendations; how-to advice; various books on the craft...

Odds and Ends—photos, prayer requests, recipes, pictures, anything that occurs to me.

So, Happy New Year, all! And visit often.

Warmly,

Traci

10K Tweeps!

I can't believe I have ten thousand Twitter followers. Really? Do you people know how ordinary I am? I'm truly humbled and completely honored.

To celebrate I've decided to give away a complete set of all nine of my books. That list includes:

A Can of Peas

Dandelions in a Jelly Jar

Aprons on a Clothesline

A State of Grace

Into the Wilderness

Open Arms

Funny Money

A Thousand Generations

A Distant Memory

I didn't just want to do something random. What's the fun in that? So, since I love getting to know my readers better, tell me three things about yourself (in the comments below) that make you uniquely you.  Or tell a story about something you did that shows your wonderful personality! In two weeks I'll pick a winner and announce it here and on Twitter/Facebook.

Have at it! I'm looking forward to reading your stories.

Traci