David R. Michael's Blog, page 24

Invisible Magic Hands

 
One memory from childhood that has always stuck with me is at once odd and mundane.
 
The memory comes from a Sunday morning, getting ready for church. I would have been four, I think, or maybe younger. On that particular day I realized I couldn't just push the end of my belt through the first belt loop of my dress pants, then push the rest of the belt to follow, and have the belt snake around my waist, slip through the other belt loops and, finally, through the last loop, where I could then cinch it with the buckle. No such luck. Instead, I had to find each loop in turn and slip the belt through them, all the way around (fortunately, I was a skinny kid, so it didn't take too long).
 
What was weird, what made me remember this event, was the nagging thought that it used to be just that simple, even magical. First loop, snake, last loop, buckle.
 
I have always wondered why I would have ever thought that. I used to believe this was an example of "the magical thinking of childhood". Or that I just remembered it wrong.
 
Recently, though, at the age of 42, I think I finally discovered the real answer.
 
I think that before that particular Sunday, my mother, or my father, or even my older brother or sister, had helped me get dressed for church. With their help, whoever they were, putting my belt on was exactly that easy: First loop, snake, last loop, buckle.
 
Magic, with a couple helping hands.
 
I had only remembered the part I did, and the final result. I never remembered–and I still don't–the assistance I received. But it must have been there.
 
So, Mom, Dad, Don, Wanda: Thanks. For helping me get dressed. And for giving me a bit of childhood magic I've never forgotten. =)
 
-David
 
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Angry War Bunnies

 
"Gnomeo & Juliet" is a mediocre film with a few highlights scattered throughout, nearly buried by the sheer weight of derivative dialog and situations.
 
That said, this one frame makes the whole movie worth watching, IMO:
 

Angry War Bunnies
 
There. Now you don't have to watch movie to get the best part.
 
-David
 
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Sounds of Home

 
My daughter once told me, as I was starting my near-daily ritual of brewing ice tea, that the sound of the water filling the teapot was a comforting sound to her. That hearing it meant she was home, and I was home, and it made her feel better. Serene was only about 5 when she told me that, so it's been a while, but I've never forgotten.
 
When I was writing The Girl Who Ran With Horses, I made a point of including a scene where Stevie stands still and listens to her own sounds of home.
 
…Blake let go of the door as Stevie stepped through, the heavy glass pane hitting her shoulder, the hydraulics of the door pushing her the rest of the way into the house.


She stood in the foyer, by herself, clutching her duffel bag. She heard Dad in the office on her left, a clink of glass, a sound of liquid pouring, another clink as the stopper went back into the bottle, then the rustle of papers being adjusted. Nothing moved in the bright, empty family room to her right, the furniture looking dusty and unused.


She heard Dad take a drink and put the glass back down on his desk. She listened to him mutter under his breath as he rustled more papers, looking for something.


She smelled the scents of the house, the remnants of breakfast, the ever present musk of horses, a hint of Blake's aftershave.


She was home now. Somehow, the thought of home wasn't as exciting as it had been. And the big house seemed emptier than she ever remembered it feeling, even in the days right after Edwin died. Friends and family had been in and out, and then the funeral, and then Stevie was heading to Tulsa with Uncle Rick and Aunt Mary. There hadn't been time for the house to feel empty. Now, though…
 
I have my own sounds, of course, that I listen for to let me know I'm home, but I hadn't really thought about it until my little girl told me one of hers.
 
-David
 
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THE SUMMONING FIRE – New Review

 
The Summoning Fire rated 4 tentacles at She Never Slept.
 
Michael does an excellent job of showing how people cope with the new world order, from a heartbroken man who offers Reese temporary shelter to my particular favorite, a group of children who are forced to scavenge for food, including a human hand – a terrific example of this book's black humor…
 
Michael's novel is a stark tale of a woman on a mission of vengeance in a post-apocalyptic world who doesn't hesitate to mow down unholy bastards in order to reach the unholiest of them all, the monster who cost her everything and who doesn't take betrayal lightly…
 
Read the whole review here…
 
-David
 
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Junebug Day!

 
He came a few days over schedule, but with all the welcome we could muster. =)
 
-David
 
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A Bit More DavidRM Backstory

NOTE: I've been busy working on The Journal the past few weeks, which has a tendency to make me clam up (unless you ask me about The Journal, then I'll talk you into the dirt). This post is Part 2 of an essay-like-thing that I wrote in February 2005. Hard to believe six years have passed. I've written a *lot* since then, novels and stories, but most of this is still the way things are (or were). This is me.
 
I wanted to write before I ever wanted to make games. That bit of RM History has been going through my head a lot in the past couple years.
 
It all started with The Lord of the Rings. I read that (the first time) in 7th grade. Actually…no…that's not true. I can remember being inspired to write as far back as 4th grade. I would read books, like Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH, and would want the story to just keep going. So I would think up…well…I didn't call them "sequels" at the time.
 
(Side Note: I first read Star Wars in 4th grade too. Oddly enough, as much as I loved the story, it didn't inspire me to write. At all. Odd. I wonder what makes some stories write-spirational and some not.)
 
The Lord of the Rings, though, was a turning point. That's when I shifted toward fantasy. A shift that was hammered home the first time I read The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever. I was caught up in the creation of my own worlds. I even made a couple of languages. I created multiple cosmologies, various ways that magic worked (or didn't work). I created "chapter outlines" for a series of books about 2 brothers brought by magic into a fantasy world where they become warriors and leaders in an epic battle against a very Mordor-like evil. I drew pictures of the important characters. I created maps that fit the stories I could see unfolding.
 
I seldom finished anything, though. I dreamed big. Too big.
 
As I moved into high school I actually started work on a novel that was set in a post-apocalyptic world. I was heavily influenced by Tunnel in the Sky and its story of teenagers stranded on a strange planet. I kept the kids on earth, and used a nuclear war to isolate them in a valley. I wrote my first story in that "timeline" in 8th or 9th grade. Then I projected into the future, thought about the civilization that would result, and wrote about that civilization moving past the boundaries of its small valley out into the world of the post-nuclear war Southwest USA. The first "draft" of the book was probably too short to be called even a novella: 50-ish handwritten pages. When I went back to type it, though, it grew. And then I had an inspiration for how to make the story better, and it expanded again. And became more complex and more interesting. I still think that the story line I had plotted out would be a viable book. [2011 Note: Maybe not so much anymore.] I used an "outline" to plot that story. I would use a pencil and ruler to create indentation lines on pages of a spiral notebook so I could have a neat-and-tidy outline. I probably worked on that novel off and on over 2-3 years. I still have the 200+ typed pages of the manuscript. [2011 Note: Odds of them ever being seen by anyone? Very slim.]
 
In college, most of the writing I did was class reports. Also, by that time, I had caught the bug to design and build video games. That sucked up most of my fictive inspiration, I think. And then came the role-playing games (RPGs). For the years from 1989-1993, I thought that I could use both RPG's and games as a substitute for writing fiction.
 
My frequent stops and starts with fiction writing in the decade before had shaken me. And I got scared that I wouldn't be able to finish a story, much less a book. But video games and RPG adventures: those I could do. Plus, those I could do with other people contributing in various ways. Took some of the burden off me.
 
I remember in 1992 I found an old notebook page with 3-4 handwritten paragraphs. I read them, and it was the first time in my adult life when I read fiction I wrote and thought, "OK. That's not bad at all." I sat down and expanded those few paragraphs of character description into what I consider my first real short story, with a beginning, middle and end. And it didn't suck. (It's painful to read now, but it still "doesn't suck.")
 
Unfortunately, after that, I got stuck again. When I wasn't working on expanding my RPG rules (250 single-spaced manuscript pages by the time I abandoned it), I tried to work on fiction…or said I was trying…but all I was doing was going back to that one story and editing it, over and over. Sometimes I might even have made it better.
 
In the late 1990′s, I started writing non-fiction articles for GDNet [www.gamedev.net]. I couldn't do fiction, it seemed, so I wrote what I knew: game development. I would still have the occasional story idea, but most of what I was "writing" then was week-by-week RPG adventures. The GDNet writing grew over time, and eventually resulted in me writing a chapter in one book and then writing my own book about indie game development. [2011 Note: And then another book about so-called "serious games".]
 
Non-fiction writing always seemed like "cheating" to me. Sure, I was writing, but it wasn't the type of writing I had longed to do all those years ago. (I don't think I ever got past that "non-fiction is cheating" mentality until last year [2004]. I still struggle with it some.) The writing for RPG's also seemed like a kind of cheating. At least it was fiction, made-up stuff, but it wasn't stories. I wanted to tell stories.
 
When I got the contract for the indie book, that gave me the confidence, for the first time in a long time, to tackle a novel. I started the planning in September 2002, as I wrote the first chapters of the indie book. It took me until June 2003 to muster the guts to actually write the novel. I didn't want to fail. Again. It's taken about 15-18 months longer than I thought it would, but that novel is almost finished. And I think it's pretty good. Or will be. [2011 Note: I finished that novel, Threads, in late 2005.]
 
I didn't plan to write an autobiography, but it seemed cathartic while it was happening, so I kept it up.
 
-David
 
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TrackerBox – Ebook Sales Tracking Software

 
Friend and fellow indie software developer/indie writer, Mark Fassett, has announced the release of TrackerBox, his new ebook sales tracking application.
 
Highlights of TrackerBox

Import sales reports from all of these ebook vendors:

Amazon KDP
PubIt
Smashwords
CreateSpace
All Romance eBooks

Support multiple Authors and Pen Names
Track sales for every title and chart your sales and income progress
Group and sort reports by any column
Apply parameters to the reports, including selecting multiple titles, authors, and/or Vendors
Export reports to XLS, PDF, CSV and HTML
Run multiple reports and see them side by side

 
A few miniature screen shots:
 


 
You can read about TrackerBox on Mark's Web page, here:
http://www.storyboxsoftware.com
 
-David
 
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I Don't Know, So I Write

NOTE: I've been busy working on The Journal the past few weeks, which has a tendency to make me clam up (unless you ask me about The Journal, then I'll talk you into the dirt). This post is from an essay-like-thing that I wrote in February 2005. Hard to believe six years have passed since then. I've written a *lot* since then, novels and stories, but most of this is still the way things are. The way I am.
 
In most cases, I know what I believe. And I know why I believe it. That's something I've worked on since my teenage years.
 
I expect that what I believe will be visible in my fiction … though when I look at my novel (Threads, unpublished) … I don't really believe in either magic or ghosts or fate, but there they are. Quite prominent, actually. So besides those, I think my beliefs about the individual, free will, and so will be discernible.
 
In fact, it's probable that my fascination with ghosts and fate (for example) are a direct result of my atheism and belief in free will. That's the unknown for me, and the unknowable, so they draw my attention.
 
I've never been a fan of starting a writing project with a theme. I'm not out to convert anyone. I'm quite the non-proselytizer. I don't like preaching.
 
The stories I've written as an adult … including RPG story arcs that I've put together … have been about:
 

Strong individuals whose choices have left them alone, crossing paths, recognizing someone they could love, but ultimately continuing on their separate ways.
Lots of RPG campaign arcs that deal with views about and/or avoiding/beating death.
Stories and RPG arcs that dealt strongly in betrayal and false appearances.
Failure as a necessary component of life.
Loneliness and being alone. Being an outcast, voluntarily or otherwise.
… probably some other less-than-cheery themes in the accumulated scribblings.

 
Thing is, though, I didn't start with any of those themes in mind. They just … happened.
 
Writing is all about making choices, of course. But some choices I prefer to leave to … not chance, really … but to a more organic process than just deciding, "My next story will explore themes of loneliness, showing that while the individual can exist by herself, totally isolated, she's happier when she connects with other people." Some choices seem more natural and spontaneous if they arise from the subconscious.
 
Also, I often will accept something that occurs randomly or semi-randomly more readily than if I chose it outright. I've noticed this most often when I'm prepping an adventure for an RPG session. It seems more "fair" (to the players, maybe?) if I let the dice decide, and then embellish, than if I pick something outright. On the other hand, it doesn't bug me to buck the dice if I don't like the result. If the result seems workable, I'll go with it. If it doesn't seem workable, or spur an idea that result could be creatively used, I'll roll again or just pick something.
 
So … I like to use writing to explore what I believe, and maybe even test it to see if it makes sense. I like to explore the periphery, the unknown and unknowable, creating systems that could work … maybe … like rules for how magic could work … and how the dead could interact with the living … and how fate and free will might exist side by side. Is there a god or a god-like being?
 
I don't know. So I write about it.
 
-David
 
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One of the Perks (and Curses) of Being Indie

No one tells you what you should work on. Either now, or next.
 
It's all up to you.
 
This is a very cool perquisite of being indie, I assure you.
 
But it's also one of the curses of being indie. When you're a one man show, "opportunity cost" isn't just an interesting concept you read about in business literature, it's a fact of life and work. You have limited bandwidth for focus and projects. Working on THIS usually means you cannot simultaneously work on THAT. You have to choose one or the other–and then stick with the choice until THIS or THAT is finished.
 
How to know which you should work on? THIS or THAT? As Hamlet put, "Aye. That's the rub."
 
I waste more time in indecision than pretty much anything else. Sometimes I'm amazed I get anything done at all.
 
You can try to calculate return on investment (ROI). You can list pros and cons.
 
Most often, though, whether THIS or THAT boils down to gut feel and more than a little bit of optimism/wishful thinking.
 
Right now, I'm leaning toward the choice that means I get to buy an IPad 2…
 
-David
 
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The Day Job Strikes Back!

 
For those of you that don't know, I don't have an actual "day job". I resigned my last full-time job in March 1999. I've been self-employed since that time developing and selling software (The Journal) and, until last year, the occasional video game, and even writing a couple nonfiction books about game development.
 
What I have called my "day job" over the last 12 years has varied from one year to the next. In 1999, it was Artifact 1. 2000, it was a unpublished game project for Sierra Online and Artifact 2. 2001, was The Journal 3. 2002-2003 was continued development of The Journal and writing my first nonfiction book, The Indie Game Development Survival Guide. 2004 was The Journal 4. 2005 was my second book, Serious Games: Games that Educate, Train and Inform. 2006 I split between A Short Story a Day and a game project that died a slow, painful death in mid-2007. 2007-2009, I worked on The Journal 5 (that took a lot longer than I had expected). 2010, I continued to work on post-release improvements The Journal 5 and in restarting my writing–and then adding "indie publishing" to my list of accumulated "indie activities".
 
Whatever project I have called my day job, though, for most of that time, The Journal has been my primary source of income. Which means no matter what else I work on, sooner or later I always come back The Journal.
 
The Journal makes it all possible, my indie lifestyle and my occasional odd choice of projects (like spending several months doing nothing but writing), my house, my family's continuing habit of eating and wearing clothes, et cetera.
 
All of that to say: I released an update of The Journal today (feel free to check it out). Mostly a maintenance release fixing bugs, but with a few new features that a small number of people will actually find useful.
 
And also to say: I now need to work on a more significant update of The Journal. That's going to slow down my writing for the summer. This shouldn't slow down my *publishing* (at least, not for a few months). I still have Gunwitch and GoSH1 and the omnibus collection which will be coming out. Writing new stuff, though, will be at a slower pace, especially for the next few weeks (I can only obsess about one thing at a time).
 
And, oh yeah–Baby Junebug is due in the next few weeks too. That'll probably have an impact…
 
The writing is not stopped, merely slowed for the summer. Just an FYI.
 
-David
 
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