Beth Green's Blog, page 2
March 9, 2018
A BIG secret!
Welcome to my secret book!
Spread the word and enter into my world as I construct a book for you ... chapter by chapter.
Comment to let me know you are reading and want to continue!
One Last Stand
Chapter 1
The rocks were the worst. Tree roots were next but I definitely hated the rocks more. It was the sharp edges and the way my feet slipped in the old shoes, reminding me with every step that I shouldn’t be here. My legs ached but the muscles began to relax as I eased back onto a crumbling log. Balancing against the rotting wood, I massaged my feet, one at a time, admiring a large blister that had materialized between two toes on my right foot. Was it better to pop it or leave it alone? Somewhere in my distant memory was the understanding that it was better to leave it alone and that was fine with me.
One bandage remained in my pack and I gently wrapped it around the white bubble of skin that had become so bothersome during the last few miles. As I stretched out my legs again, my body reprimanded me for climbing up and down the rocks and roots that characterized the trails in this part of the Smoky Mountains. Several times today, my thighs and a good portion of my backside cried out for mercy but I just bit my lip and kept moving. Up and down and then up again. The trails twisted through the woods with seemingly no end and I was counting the minutes for this day to end. Nothing could have been worse than admitting my pain to my two friends. Besides, Jake was the resident whiner in our little group and I didn’t want to be connected to his title in any way. Several times today I thought Sam might push Jake off a ledge in frustration during the frequent stops he needed to catch his breath. I really thought that after several days of hiking we would all be getting our ‘hiking legs’ as I had always been told would happen on longer trips; but I soon found that idea was a big fat lie, as my body only seemed to get worse.
Maybe we were supposed to rest at some point or jump in some magic pool of water; but all we seemed to find were more rocks…and more roots. As if the uphill climbs weren’t brutal enough, the descents had been even worse. On the second day, I stepped sideways and my foot slid between a large rock and a tree, leaving me with an aching reminder on each step that my ankle needed rest. I’m pretty sure that’s why I developed the blister: I was forced to walk in a strange sideways hop down all the trails for several hours the rest of that day. At least today I was able to find a way to step on the heel of my shoe without as much pain. Even so, the soreness and the pain and even Jake’s whining weren’t the worst of it all. There was much more to face at the end of this journey than what was happening now; but none of us knew it at the time.
The evening sun dipped low over the horizon, sending a few last ripples of color through thick green leaves over our heads before it eventually surrendered to the moon’s glow through the dense canopy. Our campfire continued to crackle and pop while I contemplated whether to be angry or sad. Thoughts ebbed and flowed through my brain and I tried to shove the chaos aside to enjoy the last night of my only vacation for many more months. The aching in my body subsided somewhat and I began to believe that I was actually feeling good. It really was satisfying to conquer several of the trails; but I was getting tired. Even though I didn’t have much to return to, home sounded pretty good — at least in terms of a hot shower. After that, I wasn’t sure what would be next.
Sam had tried to scare Jake with stories about huge bears and campers missing in these woods. Ignoring his stupid stories was getting harder now, as they grew more ridiculous with each swig from the small bottles one of them had decided to pack in for our trip. The flames consumed the last of the dry sticks and the insects were beginning their nightly chorus, almost drowning out the sound of water rushing over the rocks nearby. Trees swayed gently above us, where the moon did it’s best to provide a small bit of light despite the dense leaves that permeated the woods surrounding our campsite. So much serenity to enjoy if not for the two boneheads that I had agreed to spend four days with in the woods. After another half hour of Sam’s stories and a few jabs at Jake about the difficult hike, the fire began to burn low.
Sam usually targeted Jake and left me alone. It wasn’t hard to see why. Sam and I were almost the same height; but Jake was much smaller. My size had helped me several times on athletic fields in my younger years; but now it was just a part of who I was and seemed to be of no advantage now that I was older. When you’re poor and from a broken home, once high school ends, there is little discussion about anything more; and there are no more coaches eyeing you in the hallways and discussing your potential on their teams. Up until about a year ago, someone like me would have been expected to begin working at the local electronics factory; but it had been forced to close, spewing out it’s final television during the spring of last year and leaving behind financial devastation to an already depressed area. As the jobs disappeared, suicide rates tripled and drug abuse became rampant. My only salvation was a bitter old grandmother who allowed me to stay with her if I allowed her to verbally abuse me and force me to keep the house and yard tidy. It was a pernicious arrangement that had motivated me to work harder than ever to find a way out of that life for good.
Since I was the first in my entire family to even finish high school, college seemed ridiculous to contemplate. Because my grandmother had a long list of prescribed chores each week, my time was limited; but I had somehow been able to find a way to work a job as well as go to school, even though most semesters I only covered about half of a normal course load. It didn’t bother me that I had to go slow. At least I was moving ahead with something and farther away from everything else. After six years of this pace and adding courses in the summer, I was only one semester away from finishing my undergraduate degree in business. Maybe that would be something to look forward to if my money hadn’t been confiscated for the never-ending sea of bills for my grandmother and the hike in tuition yet again this upcoming year. From my calculations, I needed at least a year to save again in order to return for my last and final semester. Every day that I seemed closer to my goal, something would set me back. I knew I would finish, though, and I felt my determination swell as the end drew near.
The last few months had been long and difficult and I was glad to head out on a trail to clear my head. Hiking had always been something that I enjoyed, although my school and work schedule rarely allowed it anymore. Somewhere in my younger years, I remember being out here with my dad — long before he and mom decided that living within the law was just too boring. It was too many years ago now to count. Part of me longed to stay out here where life was simple; but I needed to go back and I needed to finish. My inner fire had burned so low when we started this trip that I wasn’t sure I’d have the energy to do it; but instead of zapping my remaining stores, I found the woods invigorating at first, even with two idiots in tow. Then again, anything was better than home. Now that this was the last day, I was ready and I needed a break from Sam and Jake, even if it meant returning to my grandmother again.
Fatigue began to settle over my body so I stood and stretched. When Jake and Sam didn’t flinch, I thought that they had fallen asleep, so I nudged Jake with my foot.
“Hey, I’m heading to bed. You guys need to pitch your tents before that fire burns out.”
Sam opened his eyes and sat up as one of the bottles rolled out of his hand. Part of me wanted to pick it up and throw it at him. How stupid do you have to be to try to hike and drink at the same time?
“Gonna sleep out here.” Sam slurred as he walked over to his pack to get his sleeping bag. I watched him dig through his Arc’teryx backpack and wondered what it would be like to be able own something that nice. My hiking shoes and pack came from a local thrift store and cost a total of twelve dollars. Even though the shoes were a little worn, they were surprisingly comfortable, just not very supportive anymore.
Sam had been born into a family that gave him more money than time and he feared almost nothing. I had met him in an accounting class last year; and even though he was boisterous and loud, he had a strange sort of charm that made everything sound fun and exciting. When he had suggested this trip, I was looking for a short escape and didn’t think about the full effect of trusting him as the leader out here.
“I’m in,” Jake said and stood too quickly, almost collapsing back to the ground.
He weaved and stumbled over to his pack and began to pull out his sleeping bag. Jake was an enigma to me. He followed Sam blindly and seemed almost indebted to him for some reason. It wasn’t just a typical bromance, there was more; but I never did know what it was. Some secret existed between them and it was obvious that neither wanted to tell what it was. Jake’s family was also well endowed and Jake knew nothing of the struggles that someone like me faced every day. I had watched both of them squander more money in a few hours than I would make in three months. In a normal world, we probably wouldn’t have been friends; but they often took me out to eat or to a movie and paid my way most of the time. Several times, I even found a $20 bill in my pocket that I knew I hadn’t put there. Sam was not the sentimental type, so I always suspected Jake was my secret benefactor. Some day I planned to ask him about it; but for now, I just needed the money so badly that I kept quiet.
They set up their sleeping bags by the fire and Sam stumbled over to douse the fire with some water.
“Grab you stuff, Ben. This is our last night.” Sam waved his hand around as he spoke and I thought he looked like a cryer from a carnival.
“I’m sleeping in there,” I said pointing to my tent, “I don’t want to be covered by mosquito bites tomorrow; and you two aren’t welcome in my tent in the middle of the night, so make you choice now.”
“There’s no bug that can take me down!” Sam said as he stepped up on a log and flexed. He barely made it down without falling.
“I’ll bet you’ll change your mind by morning,” I muttered as I went inside my tent and zipped it closed.
“You’re such a girl!” Sam sneered and Jake quickly laughed as well and then turned and belched, sending them both into a fit of laughter.
Their stupidity amazed me and I rolled my eyes as I laid down on top of my sleeping bag, waiting to cool off as the night continued to settle over the forest. Sam and Jake continued to hurl harmless insults at each other and at me; but it didn’t last long. We had hiked over twelve miles up and down steep trails and we were all exhausted. My mind replayed some of the incredible scenery of the last few days. The mountain tops had been exhilarating; and as I stood on one of the plateaus today, something stirred deep within me that I never knew existed. Only a few more miles separated us from completing our journey tomorrow and again I felt a strange hint of sadness that it would soon be over and I would have to return. I didn’t want to stay with these two…I just wanted to stay here alone.
I wonder what would happened if I just decided to stay out here and never go back?
A smile curled on the edge of my lips as I envisioned the look on my grandmother’s face when she discovered that I was gone for good. One thing was sure: I didn’t want to stay with these two much longer either. Jake’s constant whining and Sam’s overbearing personality were more than a little annoying after several days and the solitude of my tent each night had been my only escape. Even without the insects, I would never give up the only reprieve that I had from the other two. For now, my muscles were aching and begging for a break. Four days of high mileage up and down mountain terrain were beginning to take their toll. I laid in the darkness and listened to the sounds of the forest around me. I just didn’t care anymore if Sam and Jake made fun of me for sleeping in here. Why would anyone carry a tent and not use it? In the back of my mind I knew why. Sam didn’t want to pitch his tent tonight because he was too buzzed.
I’m not helping them. They deserve what they get for being so stupid!
This was supposed to be an easy trip but somewhere along the planning phase, Sam and Jake had decided to make it a drinking binge as well, making our progress difficult and I now know that I will never to go with them again, although it made me smile as I turned onto my side to go to sleep that night, thinking about them clawing at their bumps the next day. I knew the value of a tent’s protection from those horrible insects.
In what seemed like only a few minutes, light danced along the side of my tent, startling me awake. I rolled over and grabbed my watch while my eyes adjusted to the light. It was already 8:10 AM, way past our scheduled start time of 7:00 AM.
“Crap!” I half yelled as I kicked off my sleeping bag and stuck my head outside the tent to see if the others were up. Sun beams had pushed through the foliage and the air was already thick with heat. I was not surprised that Sam and Jake had both slept in so late with the drinking they had been doing lately; but I was usually up early most days so why had I slept so much longer? Sleeping late now fouled up our plans to hit the trail early this morning in order to finish the last fifteen miles. Jake was balled up in his sleeping bag and snoring; but Sam was nowhere in sight. His sleeping bag was gone as well, so I sat back down inside my tent and began to roll up my gear to get ready to leave. I half expected to hear Sam’s stern voice any minute urging us to hurry, since this was supposed to be the last day. I picked up my watch again and noticed something strange. It said 8:10 AM but it had stopped. Now I wasn’t sure what time it was. My phone charger pack and my phone were both dead. They should have both had a little juice left; but there was no need to worry about it now and I stuffed them both in an outer pouch.
I hurried to pack the rest of my things knowing that Sam would start in on me again about not sleeping outside and I just didn’t want to listen to any more ribbing than necessary. My bag was almost finished and I couldn’t hear Jake stirring so I stuck my head back outside the tent and nudged him.
“Jake! You need to get up! Looks like Sam’s already packed. You know how he likes to get on the trail early.”
Jake groaned and pulled the end of the sleeping bag over his head. “Not yet. Give me half an hour.”
“Hey man, what time does your phone say?”
Jake groaned and I could hear him rustling around inside his bag. “Nothing. It’s dead.”
Sweat beads rolled down my face and my stomach growled as I tugged my gear out of the tent. Jake was balled up in his bag and my frustration began to boil.
“I’m not kidding, man! Get up! We need to go!” I kicked Jake with my foot — harder than I meant to but the hunger pains were crumbling my patience.
“Ouch!” Jake sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to wake himself up and buy a little time. “Okay! I’m up!”
Jake stared at nothing as his brain tried to connect what he felt with with what he had to accomplish. I knew the hangover was probably mild; but inside I wanted to scream just to make his head hurt more. I noticed him scratching the side of his neck where several bug bites were visible and part of me was glad.
“My watch has stopped too. I have no idea what time it is; but it’s definitely later than we need it to be.”
“Do we have any more of those granola bars?” Jake was trying to stand but his legs seemed unable to connect to the ground. He reminded me of a baby giraffe at the zoo trying to stand for the first time. In between the wobbling, he continued to claw at his neck and now an arm, where the bug bites were even more numerous.
“Sam has them in his bag. Let’s get this junk up and hit the trail. We can eat all we want of the rest of the bars since it’s the last day.”
“Man I’m heading straight for the nearest pizza place. I’m gonna eat a whole large pizza by myself.”
“Sounds good.”
“Crap! Do you have any hydrocorty cream?”
“You mean hydrocortisone?”
Jake nodded and danced around as he slapped and scratched. I reached in my pack and threw him some cream and then began to disassemble my tent. As I pulled up the stakes, I spotted a trail of granola bars and clothes behind my tent and followed them into the edge of the woods, where Sam’s backpack laid open with the contents were strewn all over the ground.
“What the...” I went over and picked up the pack, which was covered in a wet, slimy substance. “Yuck! What’s this crap?”
Jake stumbled over, shoes on but not tied, still trying to will himself awake. His face, neck, and arms were covered in the white cream with small red bumps protruding through. He had finally stopped clawing at the bumps as the cream began to work. Peering at the slime he recoiled, “Oh, man, that’s gross. What is that?”
“Looks like something spilled all over it. It’s really sick.” I said as I tossed the bag down.
“I’m not touching it. Sam can clean that up himself.” Jake yawned and rubbed his eyes. “Hand me one of those bars.”
“Get it yourself. Where the heck is Sam, anyway?”
Jake picked through the slime to grab a bar. “I would guess down by the creek.”
“Looks like some animal dug through his pack. He was supposed to hang it on the tree.”
Jake was munching on a bar and seemed oblivious to anything else.
“Where’s his sleeping bag? Why would he take that down there without his pack?” Nothing seemed to make sense to me. I just wanted to get on the trail.
“I don’t know, maybe he slept down there.”
“That’s stupid. Weren’t you with him?”
Jake grabbed his head. “Not so loud, man, you know we were a little out of it.”
The hangover was worse than I thought and I just shook my head, “You stay here and keep packing your stuff, I’ll go check on him.”
“Whatever.” Jake walked back and laid down on his sleeping bag, crunching on the rest of the bar.
“Get up, we need to be ready!” Part of me was ready to leave them both.
“Okay, okay, I’ll be ready,” but Jake continued to lay across the bag, while I walked down to the creek wishing this day would go fast. At least at home I wouldn’t be dependent on these two anymore.
The path from the campsite to the creek wasn’t long but it curved to the left after about fifteen feet. There were strange marks on the ground at the start of the path and I couldn’t figure out what they were at first and then I finally found the source. As I turned the corner I found Sam’s sleeping bag, or what was left of it, in the middle of the path. The marks had been made by the bag being pulled down the trail. The bag was zipped closed but the middle was completely torn open with down and stuffing all over the ground and no sign of Sam.
“Jake! Come here!” I said as I ran back up the path. Part of me was aware that whatever had done this might still be nearby. My eyes scanned the area but saw nothing but dense green woods.
Jake jumped up, “I’m awake!” he said with crumbs dripping down his chin and getting stuck in his beard. He wiped off the crumbs and followed me to the place where the sleeping bag laid torn open and destroyed. “Where’s Sam?”
“Good question.” For a few seconds, thoughts of a practical joke played through my mind; but even Sam wouldn’t do this. He was too drunk last night and from the looks of Jake, he was probably too hungover this morning.
“What happened to his sleeping bag?”
“Another good question.”
“Do you think it’s a bear?”
My mind replayed some of the dumb stories Sam had told last night. “I don’t know; I guess it’s possible. You were right next to him all night. Did you hear anything?”
Thoughts of the stupid bear stories continued to churn until I dismissed them. Surely we would have heard a bear dragging Sam off in the middle of the night.
“No, man. I was out. I barely remember going to bed.”
“Idiots! Why did you guys drink again?”
“It was just a little. Sam had a couple of bottles left. They were tiny.” Jake held his fingers up to show the size.
“So you guys got drunk and now you have no idea what happened because you were passed out! How did you plan on hiking today? I cannot believe Sam--”
“We were just having a little fun.” Jake’s voice sounded hollow.
“You mean you cannot even stay away for just a few days? You’re both alcoholics, man.”
“Sorry! Sam just threw them in at the last minute. It’s not like we planned it or anything.”
“Well--”
A low growl echoed through the air followed by the sound of a stick snapping. The sounds seemed to be coming from around the corner of the trail and we both dropped to the ground. Any feelings of being annoyed with each other were quickly replaced with fear, as Jake quietly slid a stick over and looked around, pinning himself close to me. We sat perfectly still and waited; but nothing happened. After a few minutes, we both slowly stood up and looked around. The only sound was the nearby water rushing over the rocks. Jake took the stick and began to poke around at the shredded bag; but I held up my hand to signal Jake to stop and then cautiously continued on the trail down to the creek with Jake following closely behind me, holding the stick up high and ready to strike.
Neither of us said a word as we crept along the trail. The sight of the shredded bag made us both fear the worst; but neither of us wanted to say it out loud. Nearing the water, we heard the low growl again and another stick break. Instinctively, we both dropped low to the ground again and it seemed like an eternity as we sat and listened. Jake started to tremble and I signaled for him to stay put, while I slithered forward to try to see what was making the strange noise. Suddenly, I stopped and turned to look at Jake and signaled for him to move up beside me. I leaned in close to Jake and whispered,
“It’s right around this corner, I can see it’s shadow moving.”
Jake nodded and tightened the grip on his stick.
“Stay close to me.” I said as I picked up a rock the size of a baseball and moved forward again. Without warning, the growling stopped. Jake and I looked at each other and remained motionless again, trying to control the urge to panic. Carefully, I eased around the corner and disappeared out of Jake’s sight. When Jake finally came up behind me, I was squatting over what appeared to be the a wad of the same sticky substance on the ground that we had found on Sam’s backpack.
“What--" I held up my hand to keep Jake quiet and then motioned for him to come closer. Drops of the substance continued down the worn path ahead of us; but before either of us could say a word, everything went black.
Spread the word and enter into my world as I construct a book for you ... chapter by chapter.
Comment to let me know you are reading and want to continue!
One Last Stand
Chapter 1
The rocks were the worst. Tree roots were next but I definitely hated the rocks more. It was the sharp edges and the way my feet slipped in the old shoes, reminding me with every step that I shouldn’t be here. My legs ached but the muscles began to relax as I eased back onto a crumbling log. Balancing against the rotting wood, I massaged my feet, one at a time, admiring a large blister that had materialized between two toes on my right foot. Was it better to pop it or leave it alone? Somewhere in my distant memory was the understanding that it was better to leave it alone and that was fine with me.
One bandage remained in my pack and I gently wrapped it around the white bubble of skin that had become so bothersome during the last few miles. As I stretched out my legs again, my body reprimanded me for climbing up and down the rocks and roots that characterized the trails in this part of the Smoky Mountains. Several times today, my thighs and a good portion of my backside cried out for mercy but I just bit my lip and kept moving. Up and down and then up again. The trails twisted through the woods with seemingly no end and I was counting the minutes for this day to end. Nothing could have been worse than admitting my pain to my two friends. Besides, Jake was the resident whiner in our little group and I didn’t want to be connected to his title in any way. Several times today I thought Sam might push Jake off a ledge in frustration during the frequent stops he needed to catch his breath. I really thought that after several days of hiking we would all be getting our ‘hiking legs’ as I had always been told would happen on longer trips; but I soon found that idea was a big fat lie, as my body only seemed to get worse.
Maybe we were supposed to rest at some point or jump in some magic pool of water; but all we seemed to find were more rocks…and more roots. As if the uphill climbs weren’t brutal enough, the descents had been even worse. On the second day, I stepped sideways and my foot slid between a large rock and a tree, leaving me with an aching reminder on each step that my ankle needed rest. I’m pretty sure that’s why I developed the blister: I was forced to walk in a strange sideways hop down all the trails for several hours the rest of that day. At least today I was able to find a way to step on the heel of my shoe without as much pain. Even so, the soreness and the pain and even Jake’s whining weren’t the worst of it all. There was much more to face at the end of this journey than what was happening now; but none of us knew it at the time.
The evening sun dipped low over the horizon, sending a few last ripples of color through thick green leaves over our heads before it eventually surrendered to the moon’s glow through the dense canopy. Our campfire continued to crackle and pop while I contemplated whether to be angry or sad. Thoughts ebbed and flowed through my brain and I tried to shove the chaos aside to enjoy the last night of my only vacation for many more months. The aching in my body subsided somewhat and I began to believe that I was actually feeling good. It really was satisfying to conquer several of the trails; but I was getting tired. Even though I didn’t have much to return to, home sounded pretty good — at least in terms of a hot shower. After that, I wasn’t sure what would be next.
Sam had tried to scare Jake with stories about huge bears and campers missing in these woods. Ignoring his stupid stories was getting harder now, as they grew more ridiculous with each swig from the small bottles one of them had decided to pack in for our trip. The flames consumed the last of the dry sticks and the insects were beginning their nightly chorus, almost drowning out the sound of water rushing over the rocks nearby. Trees swayed gently above us, where the moon did it’s best to provide a small bit of light despite the dense leaves that permeated the woods surrounding our campsite. So much serenity to enjoy if not for the two boneheads that I had agreed to spend four days with in the woods. After another half hour of Sam’s stories and a few jabs at Jake about the difficult hike, the fire began to burn low.
Sam usually targeted Jake and left me alone. It wasn’t hard to see why. Sam and I were almost the same height; but Jake was much smaller. My size had helped me several times on athletic fields in my younger years; but now it was just a part of who I was and seemed to be of no advantage now that I was older. When you’re poor and from a broken home, once high school ends, there is little discussion about anything more; and there are no more coaches eyeing you in the hallways and discussing your potential on their teams. Up until about a year ago, someone like me would have been expected to begin working at the local electronics factory; but it had been forced to close, spewing out it’s final television during the spring of last year and leaving behind financial devastation to an already depressed area. As the jobs disappeared, suicide rates tripled and drug abuse became rampant. My only salvation was a bitter old grandmother who allowed me to stay with her if I allowed her to verbally abuse me and force me to keep the house and yard tidy. It was a pernicious arrangement that had motivated me to work harder than ever to find a way out of that life for good.
Since I was the first in my entire family to even finish high school, college seemed ridiculous to contemplate. Because my grandmother had a long list of prescribed chores each week, my time was limited; but I had somehow been able to find a way to work a job as well as go to school, even though most semesters I only covered about half of a normal course load. It didn’t bother me that I had to go slow. At least I was moving ahead with something and farther away from everything else. After six years of this pace and adding courses in the summer, I was only one semester away from finishing my undergraduate degree in business. Maybe that would be something to look forward to if my money hadn’t been confiscated for the never-ending sea of bills for my grandmother and the hike in tuition yet again this upcoming year. From my calculations, I needed at least a year to save again in order to return for my last and final semester. Every day that I seemed closer to my goal, something would set me back. I knew I would finish, though, and I felt my determination swell as the end drew near.
The last few months had been long and difficult and I was glad to head out on a trail to clear my head. Hiking had always been something that I enjoyed, although my school and work schedule rarely allowed it anymore. Somewhere in my younger years, I remember being out here with my dad — long before he and mom decided that living within the law was just too boring. It was too many years ago now to count. Part of me longed to stay out here where life was simple; but I needed to go back and I needed to finish. My inner fire had burned so low when we started this trip that I wasn’t sure I’d have the energy to do it; but instead of zapping my remaining stores, I found the woods invigorating at first, even with two idiots in tow. Then again, anything was better than home. Now that this was the last day, I was ready and I needed a break from Sam and Jake, even if it meant returning to my grandmother again.
Fatigue began to settle over my body so I stood and stretched. When Jake and Sam didn’t flinch, I thought that they had fallen asleep, so I nudged Jake with my foot.
“Hey, I’m heading to bed. You guys need to pitch your tents before that fire burns out.”
Sam opened his eyes and sat up as one of the bottles rolled out of his hand. Part of me wanted to pick it up and throw it at him. How stupid do you have to be to try to hike and drink at the same time?
“Gonna sleep out here.” Sam slurred as he walked over to his pack to get his sleeping bag. I watched him dig through his Arc’teryx backpack and wondered what it would be like to be able own something that nice. My hiking shoes and pack came from a local thrift store and cost a total of twelve dollars. Even though the shoes were a little worn, they were surprisingly comfortable, just not very supportive anymore.
Sam had been born into a family that gave him more money than time and he feared almost nothing. I had met him in an accounting class last year; and even though he was boisterous and loud, he had a strange sort of charm that made everything sound fun and exciting. When he had suggested this trip, I was looking for a short escape and didn’t think about the full effect of trusting him as the leader out here.
“I’m in,” Jake said and stood too quickly, almost collapsing back to the ground.
He weaved and stumbled over to his pack and began to pull out his sleeping bag. Jake was an enigma to me. He followed Sam blindly and seemed almost indebted to him for some reason. It wasn’t just a typical bromance, there was more; but I never did know what it was. Some secret existed between them and it was obvious that neither wanted to tell what it was. Jake’s family was also well endowed and Jake knew nothing of the struggles that someone like me faced every day. I had watched both of them squander more money in a few hours than I would make in three months. In a normal world, we probably wouldn’t have been friends; but they often took me out to eat or to a movie and paid my way most of the time. Several times, I even found a $20 bill in my pocket that I knew I hadn’t put there. Sam was not the sentimental type, so I always suspected Jake was my secret benefactor. Some day I planned to ask him about it; but for now, I just needed the money so badly that I kept quiet.
They set up their sleeping bags by the fire and Sam stumbled over to douse the fire with some water.
“Grab you stuff, Ben. This is our last night.” Sam waved his hand around as he spoke and I thought he looked like a cryer from a carnival.
“I’m sleeping in there,” I said pointing to my tent, “I don’t want to be covered by mosquito bites tomorrow; and you two aren’t welcome in my tent in the middle of the night, so make you choice now.”
“There’s no bug that can take me down!” Sam said as he stepped up on a log and flexed. He barely made it down without falling.
“I’ll bet you’ll change your mind by morning,” I muttered as I went inside my tent and zipped it closed.
“You’re such a girl!” Sam sneered and Jake quickly laughed as well and then turned and belched, sending them both into a fit of laughter.
Their stupidity amazed me and I rolled my eyes as I laid down on top of my sleeping bag, waiting to cool off as the night continued to settle over the forest. Sam and Jake continued to hurl harmless insults at each other and at me; but it didn’t last long. We had hiked over twelve miles up and down steep trails and we were all exhausted. My mind replayed some of the incredible scenery of the last few days. The mountain tops had been exhilarating; and as I stood on one of the plateaus today, something stirred deep within me that I never knew existed. Only a few more miles separated us from completing our journey tomorrow and again I felt a strange hint of sadness that it would soon be over and I would have to return. I didn’t want to stay with these two…I just wanted to stay here alone.
I wonder what would happened if I just decided to stay out here and never go back?
A smile curled on the edge of my lips as I envisioned the look on my grandmother’s face when she discovered that I was gone for good. One thing was sure: I didn’t want to stay with these two much longer either. Jake’s constant whining and Sam’s overbearing personality were more than a little annoying after several days and the solitude of my tent each night had been my only escape. Even without the insects, I would never give up the only reprieve that I had from the other two. For now, my muscles were aching and begging for a break. Four days of high mileage up and down mountain terrain were beginning to take their toll. I laid in the darkness and listened to the sounds of the forest around me. I just didn’t care anymore if Sam and Jake made fun of me for sleeping in here. Why would anyone carry a tent and not use it? In the back of my mind I knew why. Sam didn’t want to pitch his tent tonight because he was too buzzed.
I’m not helping them. They deserve what they get for being so stupid!
This was supposed to be an easy trip but somewhere along the planning phase, Sam and Jake had decided to make it a drinking binge as well, making our progress difficult and I now know that I will never to go with them again, although it made me smile as I turned onto my side to go to sleep that night, thinking about them clawing at their bumps the next day. I knew the value of a tent’s protection from those horrible insects.
In what seemed like only a few minutes, light danced along the side of my tent, startling me awake. I rolled over and grabbed my watch while my eyes adjusted to the light. It was already 8:10 AM, way past our scheduled start time of 7:00 AM.
“Crap!” I half yelled as I kicked off my sleeping bag and stuck my head outside the tent to see if the others were up. Sun beams had pushed through the foliage and the air was already thick with heat. I was not surprised that Sam and Jake had both slept in so late with the drinking they had been doing lately; but I was usually up early most days so why had I slept so much longer? Sleeping late now fouled up our plans to hit the trail early this morning in order to finish the last fifteen miles. Jake was balled up in his sleeping bag and snoring; but Sam was nowhere in sight. His sleeping bag was gone as well, so I sat back down inside my tent and began to roll up my gear to get ready to leave. I half expected to hear Sam’s stern voice any minute urging us to hurry, since this was supposed to be the last day. I picked up my watch again and noticed something strange. It said 8:10 AM but it had stopped. Now I wasn’t sure what time it was. My phone charger pack and my phone were both dead. They should have both had a little juice left; but there was no need to worry about it now and I stuffed them both in an outer pouch.
I hurried to pack the rest of my things knowing that Sam would start in on me again about not sleeping outside and I just didn’t want to listen to any more ribbing than necessary. My bag was almost finished and I couldn’t hear Jake stirring so I stuck my head back outside the tent and nudged him.
“Jake! You need to get up! Looks like Sam’s already packed. You know how he likes to get on the trail early.”
Jake groaned and pulled the end of the sleeping bag over his head. “Not yet. Give me half an hour.”
“Hey man, what time does your phone say?”
Jake groaned and I could hear him rustling around inside his bag. “Nothing. It’s dead.”
Sweat beads rolled down my face and my stomach growled as I tugged my gear out of the tent. Jake was balled up in his bag and my frustration began to boil.
“I’m not kidding, man! Get up! We need to go!” I kicked Jake with my foot — harder than I meant to but the hunger pains were crumbling my patience.
“Ouch!” Jake sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to wake himself up and buy a little time. “Okay! I’m up!”
Jake stared at nothing as his brain tried to connect what he felt with with what he had to accomplish. I knew the hangover was probably mild; but inside I wanted to scream just to make his head hurt more. I noticed him scratching the side of his neck where several bug bites were visible and part of me was glad.
“My watch has stopped too. I have no idea what time it is; but it’s definitely later than we need it to be.”
“Do we have any more of those granola bars?” Jake was trying to stand but his legs seemed unable to connect to the ground. He reminded me of a baby giraffe at the zoo trying to stand for the first time. In between the wobbling, he continued to claw at his neck and now an arm, where the bug bites were even more numerous.
“Sam has them in his bag. Let’s get this junk up and hit the trail. We can eat all we want of the rest of the bars since it’s the last day.”
“Man I’m heading straight for the nearest pizza place. I’m gonna eat a whole large pizza by myself.”
“Sounds good.”
“Crap! Do you have any hydrocorty cream?”
“You mean hydrocortisone?”
Jake nodded and danced around as he slapped and scratched. I reached in my pack and threw him some cream and then began to disassemble my tent. As I pulled up the stakes, I spotted a trail of granola bars and clothes behind my tent and followed them into the edge of the woods, where Sam’s backpack laid open with the contents were strewn all over the ground.
“What the...” I went over and picked up the pack, which was covered in a wet, slimy substance. “Yuck! What’s this crap?”
Jake stumbled over, shoes on but not tied, still trying to will himself awake. His face, neck, and arms were covered in the white cream with small red bumps protruding through. He had finally stopped clawing at the bumps as the cream began to work. Peering at the slime he recoiled, “Oh, man, that’s gross. What is that?”
“Looks like something spilled all over it. It’s really sick.” I said as I tossed the bag down.
“I’m not touching it. Sam can clean that up himself.” Jake yawned and rubbed his eyes. “Hand me one of those bars.”
“Get it yourself. Where the heck is Sam, anyway?”
Jake picked through the slime to grab a bar. “I would guess down by the creek.”
“Looks like some animal dug through his pack. He was supposed to hang it on the tree.”
Jake was munching on a bar and seemed oblivious to anything else.
“Where’s his sleeping bag? Why would he take that down there without his pack?” Nothing seemed to make sense to me. I just wanted to get on the trail.
“I don’t know, maybe he slept down there.”
“That’s stupid. Weren’t you with him?”
Jake grabbed his head. “Not so loud, man, you know we were a little out of it.”
The hangover was worse than I thought and I just shook my head, “You stay here and keep packing your stuff, I’ll go check on him.”
“Whatever.” Jake walked back and laid down on his sleeping bag, crunching on the rest of the bar.
“Get up, we need to be ready!” Part of me was ready to leave them both.
“Okay, okay, I’ll be ready,” but Jake continued to lay across the bag, while I walked down to the creek wishing this day would go fast. At least at home I wouldn’t be dependent on these two anymore.
The path from the campsite to the creek wasn’t long but it curved to the left after about fifteen feet. There were strange marks on the ground at the start of the path and I couldn’t figure out what they were at first and then I finally found the source. As I turned the corner I found Sam’s sleeping bag, or what was left of it, in the middle of the path. The marks had been made by the bag being pulled down the trail. The bag was zipped closed but the middle was completely torn open with down and stuffing all over the ground and no sign of Sam.
“Jake! Come here!” I said as I ran back up the path. Part of me was aware that whatever had done this might still be nearby. My eyes scanned the area but saw nothing but dense green woods.
Jake jumped up, “I’m awake!” he said with crumbs dripping down his chin and getting stuck in his beard. He wiped off the crumbs and followed me to the place where the sleeping bag laid torn open and destroyed. “Where’s Sam?”
“Good question.” For a few seconds, thoughts of a practical joke played through my mind; but even Sam wouldn’t do this. He was too drunk last night and from the looks of Jake, he was probably too hungover this morning.
“What happened to his sleeping bag?”
“Another good question.”
“Do you think it’s a bear?”
My mind replayed some of the dumb stories Sam had told last night. “I don’t know; I guess it’s possible. You were right next to him all night. Did you hear anything?”
Thoughts of the stupid bear stories continued to churn until I dismissed them. Surely we would have heard a bear dragging Sam off in the middle of the night.
“No, man. I was out. I barely remember going to bed.”
“Idiots! Why did you guys drink again?”
“It was just a little. Sam had a couple of bottles left. They were tiny.” Jake held his fingers up to show the size.
“So you guys got drunk and now you have no idea what happened because you were passed out! How did you plan on hiking today? I cannot believe Sam--”
“We were just having a little fun.” Jake’s voice sounded hollow.
“You mean you cannot even stay away for just a few days? You’re both alcoholics, man.”
“Sorry! Sam just threw them in at the last minute. It’s not like we planned it or anything.”
“Well--”
A low growl echoed through the air followed by the sound of a stick snapping. The sounds seemed to be coming from around the corner of the trail and we both dropped to the ground. Any feelings of being annoyed with each other were quickly replaced with fear, as Jake quietly slid a stick over and looked around, pinning himself close to me. We sat perfectly still and waited; but nothing happened. After a few minutes, we both slowly stood up and looked around. The only sound was the nearby water rushing over the rocks. Jake took the stick and began to poke around at the shredded bag; but I held up my hand to signal Jake to stop and then cautiously continued on the trail down to the creek with Jake following closely behind me, holding the stick up high and ready to strike.
Neither of us said a word as we crept along the trail. The sight of the shredded bag made us both fear the worst; but neither of us wanted to say it out loud. Nearing the water, we heard the low growl again and another stick break. Instinctively, we both dropped low to the ground again and it seemed like an eternity as we sat and listened. Jake started to tremble and I signaled for him to stay put, while I slithered forward to try to see what was making the strange noise. Suddenly, I stopped and turned to look at Jake and signaled for him to move up beside me. I leaned in close to Jake and whispered,
“It’s right around this corner, I can see it’s shadow moving.”
Jake nodded and tightened the grip on his stick.
“Stay close to me.” I said as I picked up a rock the size of a baseball and moved forward again. Without warning, the growling stopped. Jake and I looked at each other and remained motionless again, trying to control the urge to panic. Carefully, I eased around the corner and disappeared out of Jake’s sight. When Jake finally came up behind me, I was squatting over what appeared to be the a wad of the same sticky substance on the ground that we had found on Sam’s backpack.
“What--" I held up my hand to keep Jake quiet and then motioned for him to come closer. Drops of the substance continued down the worn path ahead of us; but before either of us could say a word, everything went black.
February 14, 2018
December 13, 2017
Inversion Hike
Psalm 121: 1-2
I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
My husband and I like to hike and we have been on many trails through the years. I’ve heard several people speak about their experiences on a mountaintop or a trail and how this proximity to nature inevitably produces the proverbial “mountaintop experience” of feeling closer to God. In life, these experiences don’t have to physically be on the top of a mountain; but as a hiker, my husband and I often speak of the spiritual experience we have as well as the physical one of conquering a difficult climb.
Recently, we took a trip out west and reversed our hiking experience by hiking down into a canyon. When hiking on a mountain, you typically climb up for a few hours and reach a summit and then pause to enjoy the views and you feel exhilarated that you have conquered the climb. The hike back down is a more relaxing pace, giving you time to reflect on the experience. Canyon hiking is quite the opposite. We started our 17 1/2 mile trek the first day by going down for about 1 1/2 miles and then found ourselves in the valley of the canyon for most of the remainder of the hike that day. Although there were a few areas we had to climb, most of the hike was not too hard and the only danger was the rocky trail, which made looking up at the amazing views of the canyon more difficult. I found this type of hiking so interesting. For years we have worked our way up a mountain and savored the views at the end but this time the views were in the middle of the hike and the most difficult portion of the hike was at the end of the second day 8-mile hike, where we had to climb back out of the canyon when we were already exhausted. I termed it an “inversion hike”, a play on the term inversion, which we sometimes encounter when the clouds are below us as we summit a mountain.
Something occurred to me during that experience in the canyon. When I was walking through the canyon floor and picking my way through the rocky terrain, I couldn’t help but feel the analogy of a “valley experience” of life just like the mountain ridge has always reminded me of the “mountaintop experience”. The feeling of being surrounded by canyon walls on all sides was intimidating as I knew the only way out was to climb back up. That revelation was a powerful reality that proved physically difficult as well. While standing on the canyon floor, we were able to look up and be amazed by God’s creation all around us but we also knew that those canyon walls were tall and our battered bodies would face the most difficult part of the hike when we were the most tired. We finished day two with the 1 1/2 mile ascent and when we reached the top of that canyon wall, as tired as we were, we both felt great that we had conquered the trail. This time, however, we weren’t at the top of a mountain at all, we were just dead even—on level ground. All that work and we were back where we had started. It made me reflect on how I approach a “valley” in my own life. As I thought about the days on that trail, I realized that maybe we don’t always understand how to get out of a valley. Do we depend solely on God to get us out or do we understand that it might take a great deal of effort on our part to climb the side of the wall? My husband and I are in good shape but even so, we had to encourage each other to get out of that canyon the second day and it was a great asset to have each other along the way. It made me reflect on how much my friends and family have meant to me when I needed them…but there were times when I tried to do it all alone and found myself slipping back into the valley over and over again. God wants to be our helper and our guide out of that valley. Although He has the power to do it without any help from us or anyone else, I believe that the climb can be part of our healing and the lessons of dependence on Him and others may be the most valuable part of the experience. As my husband and I reached the crest of the canyon wall we were exhausted and spent but our journey was not over. We still needed to drive back to town…another four hours in the car… another journey was just beginning. This made me realize that our mountains and valleys are just a small part of the overall journey.
This excursion was a good physical analogy for me as I reflected on the “valleys” in my walk through life. The next time I find myself in a valley of some kind, I hope that I will remember the “inversion hike” example and these three things: First, it takes an effort to climb out of a valley. That mile and a half back up the side of that canyon was tough after hiking so much. We were tired and ready to finish but there was no way to get out of there until we got up that trail and we just had to take it one step at a time until we reached the top. God is there for you and will help you but you’ve got to make an effort yourself. Second, it’s much easier to get through a bad time with some encouragement from someone else. If you know someone who’s having a struggle of some kind, a simple word of encouragement might do more for them than you will ever know; but if you’re the one in the valley, remember not to turn away help from someone who is reaching out to you. It’s hard to get out of that valley alone and there’s no reason why you should. Third, even though my husband and I worked incredibly hard to get up the side of that canyon, we ended up on level ground—not one step higher than where we had started…and that was difficult to know that we were just at the start of another journey… it wasn’t over. I think sometimes we expect God to not only deliver us from our valleys with no effort on our part but we also expect Him to deliver us to a place that we feel that we deserve or at least to an ending point where we can rest, but it may only be the beginning of a new direction or journey in our lives.
In reality, we need valleys to understand our dependence on God, our friends, and an understanding that not everything can be a mountain. Even in the depth of that canyon, I saw God all around me in the amazing cliffs that loomed overhead. Valley’s in our life can be deep and require a long climb up and we will need to put in some effort to get there. Along the way we might need some friends to encourage or even help us and we definitely need Him every step of the journey. When we finally find ourselves on flat level ground again, the journey is not over but is just starting in a new direction. Whether you are on top of a mountain, in the lowest of valleys or somewhere in between…He is with you always.
I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
My husband and I like to hike and we have been on many trails through the years. I’ve heard several people speak about their experiences on a mountaintop or a trail and how this proximity to nature inevitably produces the proverbial “mountaintop experience” of feeling closer to God. In life, these experiences don’t have to physically be on the top of a mountain; but as a hiker, my husband and I often speak of the spiritual experience we have as well as the physical one of conquering a difficult climb.
Recently, we took a trip out west and reversed our hiking experience by hiking down into a canyon. When hiking on a mountain, you typically climb up for a few hours and reach a summit and then pause to enjoy the views and you feel exhilarated that you have conquered the climb. The hike back down is a more relaxing pace, giving you time to reflect on the experience. Canyon hiking is quite the opposite. We started our 17 1/2 mile trek the first day by going down for about 1 1/2 miles and then found ourselves in the valley of the canyon for most of the remainder of the hike that day. Although there were a few areas we had to climb, most of the hike was not too hard and the only danger was the rocky trail, which made looking up at the amazing views of the canyon more difficult. I found this type of hiking so interesting. For years we have worked our way up a mountain and savored the views at the end but this time the views were in the middle of the hike and the most difficult portion of the hike was at the end of the second day 8-mile hike, where we had to climb back out of the canyon when we were already exhausted. I termed it an “inversion hike”, a play on the term inversion, which we sometimes encounter when the clouds are below us as we summit a mountain.
Something occurred to me during that experience in the canyon. When I was walking through the canyon floor and picking my way through the rocky terrain, I couldn’t help but feel the analogy of a “valley experience” of life just like the mountain ridge has always reminded me of the “mountaintop experience”. The feeling of being surrounded by canyon walls on all sides was intimidating as I knew the only way out was to climb back up. That revelation was a powerful reality that proved physically difficult as well. While standing on the canyon floor, we were able to look up and be amazed by God’s creation all around us but we also knew that those canyon walls were tall and our battered bodies would face the most difficult part of the hike when we were the most tired. We finished day two with the 1 1/2 mile ascent and when we reached the top of that canyon wall, as tired as we were, we both felt great that we had conquered the trail. This time, however, we weren’t at the top of a mountain at all, we were just dead even—on level ground. All that work and we were back where we had started. It made me reflect on how I approach a “valley” in my own life. As I thought about the days on that trail, I realized that maybe we don’t always understand how to get out of a valley. Do we depend solely on God to get us out or do we understand that it might take a great deal of effort on our part to climb the side of the wall? My husband and I are in good shape but even so, we had to encourage each other to get out of that canyon the second day and it was a great asset to have each other along the way. It made me reflect on how much my friends and family have meant to me when I needed them…but there were times when I tried to do it all alone and found myself slipping back into the valley over and over again. God wants to be our helper and our guide out of that valley. Although He has the power to do it without any help from us or anyone else, I believe that the climb can be part of our healing and the lessons of dependence on Him and others may be the most valuable part of the experience. As my husband and I reached the crest of the canyon wall we were exhausted and spent but our journey was not over. We still needed to drive back to town…another four hours in the car… another journey was just beginning. This made me realize that our mountains and valleys are just a small part of the overall journey.
This excursion was a good physical analogy for me as I reflected on the “valleys” in my walk through life. The next time I find myself in a valley of some kind, I hope that I will remember the “inversion hike” example and these three things: First, it takes an effort to climb out of a valley. That mile and a half back up the side of that canyon was tough after hiking so much. We were tired and ready to finish but there was no way to get out of there until we got up that trail and we just had to take it one step at a time until we reached the top. God is there for you and will help you but you’ve got to make an effort yourself. Second, it’s much easier to get through a bad time with some encouragement from someone else. If you know someone who’s having a struggle of some kind, a simple word of encouragement might do more for them than you will ever know; but if you’re the one in the valley, remember not to turn away help from someone who is reaching out to you. It’s hard to get out of that valley alone and there’s no reason why you should. Third, even though my husband and I worked incredibly hard to get up the side of that canyon, we ended up on level ground—not one step higher than where we had started…and that was difficult to know that we were just at the start of another journey… it wasn’t over. I think sometimes we expect God to not only deliver us from our valleys with no effort on our part but we also expect Him to deliver us to a place that we feel that we deserve or at least to an ending point where we can rest, but it may only be the beginning of a new direction or journey in our lives.
In reality, we need valleys to understand our dependence on God, our friends, and an understanding that not everything can be a mountain. Even in the depth of that canyon, I saw God all around me in the amazing cliffs that loomed overhead. Valley’s in our life can be deep and require a long climb up and we will need to put in some effort to get there. Along the way we might need some friends to encourage or even help us and we definitely need Him every step of the journey. When we finally find ourselves on flat level ground again, the journey is not over but is just starting in a new direction. Whether you are on top of a mountain, in the lowest of valleys or somewhere in between…He is with you always.
November 23, 2017
Thankful for M&Ms
Thessalonians 5:18
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
Thankful…for so much
Years ago, when my children were small, we used to have a “Thankful Tree”. The idea was not my own but borrowed from somewhere long before the internet was so large and ideas for such things were plentiful. If you’ve never heard of this, it’s simple. I would draw a large tree on paper (I used to get the end rolls from a newspaper office) and then tape the picture on a prominent wall in our home. I used colorful leaves cut from construction paper—enough for all six of us for every day in November. Every day, each of us would take one leaf and write on it something we were thankful for and then tape the leaf to the tree. By the end of the month, the tree would be full and the visual was excellent for the girls to see how much we could be thankful for instead of dwelling on what we didn’t have.
The interesting part of this story is how little we did have at the time. I was staying home and my husband was a teacher and coach. Raising four kids on that small salary was challenging but God was so much bigger. When we first decided to keep me home, we had no idea how it would happen; but as I’ve posted before, He came through in mighty ways. One post years ago I told the story of how I continued to dip into a box of detergent that was essentially empty and yet there was always enough for one more load. At a time when I had to do at least three loads of laundry a day and with no money to buy more detergent at that time, it was a testimony to me how He had my back…even on laundry.
We were not really poor…but we didn’t have any excess. We had a home, cars, clothing, and food so it’s hard to say that we were really destitute; but we were at the very least struggling every month to make ends meet.
I remember one time when we lived in Charleston…I took the girls to watch a basketball game at the school just so they could see their dad, who was then and still is an athletic director and is gone many hours from home. We usually brought snacks from home to go anywhere and never dreamed of using a concession stand (way out of our budget). Occasionally, I would buy one small pack of candy and split it among us all and that was a splurge for us.
We went to the game that one night and something wonderful happened. A sweet and amazing woman from the school asked me if she could buy each of the girls a pack of candy from the concession stand. I was dumbfounded but agreed to let her. It was one of the sweetest gestures anyone had done for us in a long time and the girls were so funny. I sat and watched as their large brown eyes absorbed what was happening with disbelief. They each timidly reached for their candy and stared at the bag as if it would disappear if they looked away. It made me sad and happy all at the same time and it was beautiful to see how much they appreciated every last piece. One of them only ate a few pieces that night and saved her bag of M&M’s to eat over the next week— a few pieces at a time every day.
Even though we had very little, I baked that Christmas and we gave away some simple baked goods to all our neighbors and the girl’s teachers. It wasn’t much; but our girls witnessed our giving out of our small supply.
About two years later something else happened that amazed me. We were working on our Thankful Tree and one of our girls took a leaf and wrote what she was thankful for just like we always did every day. When I collected the leafs to tape on the wall, I noticed her leaf simply said: “M&M’s”. Turning to her, I had to ask what she meant by such a bizarre response. Not that we didn’t like candy or anything; but I wasn’t sure what she meant.
“What do you mean by M&M’s?” I asked.
My daughter, who was now only 6 answered, “I’m thankful for our friend who gave me my own bag of M&Ms.”
As I turned to place the leaf on the tree, I choked back tears and thanked God one more time for all He has provided through the years…even M&M’s.
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
Thankful…for so much
Years ago, when my children were small, we used to have a “Thankful Tree”. The idea was not my own but borrowed from somewhere long before the internet was so large and ideas for such things were plentiful. If you’ve never heard of this, it’s simple. I would draw a large tree on paper (I used to get the end rolls from a newspaper office) and then tape the picture on a prominent wall in our home. I used colorful leaves cut from construction paper—enough for all six of us for every day in November. Every day, each of us would take one leaf and write on it something we were thankful for and then tape the leaf to the tree. By the end of the month, the tree would be full and the visual was excellent for the girls to see how much we could be thankful for instead of dwelling on what we didn’t have.
The interesting part of this story is how little we did have at the time. I was staying home and my husband was a teacher and coach. Raising four kids on that small salary was challenging but God was so much bigger. When we first decided to keep me home, we had no idea how it would happen; but as I’ve posted before, He came through in mighty ways. One post years ago I told the story of how I continued to dip into a box of detergent that was essentially empty and yet there was always enough for one more load. At a time when I had to do at least three loads of laundry a day and with no money to buy more detergent at that time, it was a testimony to me how He had my back…even on laundry.
We were not really poor…but we didn’t have any excess. We had a home, cars, clothing, and food so it’s hard to say that we were really destitute; but we were at the very least struggling every month to make ends meet.
I remember one time when we lived in Charleston…I took the girls to watch a basketball game at the school just so they could see their dad, who was then and still is an athletic director and is gone many hours from home. We usually brought snacks from home to go anywhere and never dreamed of using a concession stand (way out of our budget). Occasionally, I would buy one small pack of candy and split it among us all and that was a splurge for us.
We went to the game that one night and something wonderful happened. A sweet and amazing woman from the school asked me if she could buy each of the girls a pack of candy from the concession stand. I was dumbfounded but agreed to let her. It was one of the sweetest gestures anyone had done for us in a long time and the girls were so funny. I sat and watched as their large brown eyes absorbed what was happening with disbelief. They each timidly reached for their candy and stared at the bag as if it would disappear if they looked away. It made me sad and happy all at the same time and it was beautiful to see how much they appreciated every last piece. One of them only ate a few pieces that night and saved her bag of M&M’s to eat over the next week— a few pieces at a time every day.
Even though we had very little, I baked that Christmas and we gave away some simple baked goods to all our neighbors and the girl’s teachers. It wasn’t much; but our girls witnessed our giving out of our small supply.
About two years later something else happened that amazed me. We were working on our Thankful Tree and one of our girls took a leaf and wrote what she was thankful for just like we always did every day. When I collected the leafs to tape on the wall, I noticed her leaf simply said: “M&M’s”. Turning to her, I had to ask what she meant by such a bizarre response. Not that we didn’t like candy or anything; but I wasn’t sure what she meant.
“What do you mean by M&M’s?” I asked.
My daughter, who was now only 6 answered, “I’m thankful for our friend who gave me my own bag of M&Ms.”
As I turned to place the leaf on the tree, I choked back tears and thanked God one more time for all He has provided through the years…even M&M’s.
November 18, 2017
Giving Your All
I have been a football coaches wife for years. It's a unique and awesome experience and my new book (still working on) is about one year in particular but also the incredible and sometimes heartbreaking times that we all have to endure for that one moment when it all comes together.
This season and last I decided to experience it all in a new way. For years, I have sat in wind, rain, snow, and heat. I have stood along the fence to allow my kids time to stretch their legs. Many years I spent in the stands cheering and crying alongside the other parents. Several times, I sat in a dark van along the parking lot with a sick child to try to catch glimpses of the struggle on the field. There are moments when I wanted to scream for joy and others when I felt anger well to the point of a near explosion. Whether it was a poor referee call or a comment from someone in the stands or maybe a rowdy group across the field, I was always a Tiger...or a Cyclone...and the last 15 years a tried and true Bearcat.
The last two years I elected to give the parents a break and time to enjoy their own young men and took my camera to the sidelines. I have enjoyed the fresh perspective and everyone was amazingly respectful. Most who know me well know that I took a rather hard hit last year and had a bruise that covered the inside of my thigh for weeks (I still have some pain from it). Last night, I watched our team fight and struggle...and eventually lose to end their season. We had an amazing year like we knew we would. The guys gave all that they had...
I remember a few years ago one team that was similar and very dedicated. When their season ended, several seniors placed their cleats on the Bearcat in center field and left them there to symbolize that they gave all that they had and left it all on the field. This stuck with me last night as I watched these young men fight. As I walked over to hear the speech after the game, I lifted my camera and shot pictures of the young men kneeling before their coach. I do this every time but this night was different. I clicked as many as I thought I needed and turned to walk toward my camera bag to pack up and leave. That's when it happened...
There isn't much that a 51-year-old woman can give a team to help them on their journey through the season. I gave up my husband to the hours of film and coaching, but I found that I had given something else that I had no idea would happen. I pulled my camera up one last time to try to capture the field but it wouldn't turn on. The battery had failed...but the camera was dead too. This camera has clicked thousands of pictures through the years and I'm honored that it plowed through this season so well. Smiling, I packed it away and felt another layer of sadness and I thought about those cleats mid-field so many years ago. Part of me wanted to leave my camera there last night...I gave what I could...my husband...my time...and now my camera.
The 2017 Bearcat Football season has ended...but now we will see what these young men will accomplish in life. To them I say...give LIFE all that you have.
This season and last I decided to experience it all in a new way. For years, I have sat in wind, rain, snow, and heat. I have stood along the fence to allow my kids time to stretch their legs. Many years I spent in the stands cheering and crying alongside the other parents. Several times, I sat in a dark van along the parking lot with a sick child to try to catch glimpses of the struggle on the field. There are moments when I wanted to scream for joy and others when I felt anger well to the point of a near explosion. Whether it was a poor referee call or a comment from someone in the stands or maybe a rowdy group across the field, I was always a Tiger...or a Cyclone...and the last 15 years a tried and true Bearcat.
The last two years I elected to give the parents a break and time to enjoy their own young men and took my camera to the sidelines. I have enjoyed the fresh perspective and everyone was amazingly respectful. Most who know me well know that I took a rather hard hit last year and had a bruise that covered the inside of my thigh for weeks (I still have some pain from it). Last night, I watched our team fight and struggle...and eventually lose to end their season. We had an amazing year like we knew we would. The guys gave all that they had...
I remember a few years ago one team that was similar and very dedicated. When their season ended, several seniors placed their cleats on the Bearcat in center field and left them there to symbolize that they gave all that they had and left it all on the field. This stuck with me last night as I watched these young men fight. As I walked over to hear the speech after the game, I lifted my camera and shot pictures of the young men kneeling before their coach. I do this every time but this night was different. I clicked as many as I thought I needed and turned to walk toward my camera bag to pack up and leave. That's when it happened...
There isn't much that a 51-year-old woman can give a team to help them on their journey through the season. I gave up my husband to the hours of film and coaching, but I found that I had given something else that I had no idea would happen. I pulled my camera up one last time to try to capture the field but it wouldn't turn on. The battery had failed...but the camera was dead too. This camera has clicked thousands of pictures through the years and I'm honored that it plowed through this season so well. Smiling, I packed it away and felt another layer of sadness and I thought about those cleats mid-field so many years ago. Part of me wanted to leave my camera there last night...I gave what I could...my husband...my time...and now my camera.
The 2017 Bearcat Football season has ended...but now we will see what these young men will accomplish in life. To them I say...give LIFE all that you have.
October 29, 2017
Are You Afraid
Psalm 56:3
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
As a child, I was afraid of going into my basement. I remember running down and up to get something and singing at the top of my lungs, thinking that would help. When I was older, I was staying with an aunt when I had a horrible experience.
In Physical Therapy school, you do rotations that are similar to a residency but shorter. One of mine was in Birmingham, Alabama, where my mom’s twin sister lived. She had a wonderful room in her basement that opened out into a large family room, complete with workout equipment and a large TV.
One weekend, my aunt and uncle went out of town and I was left in the house alone. I came home on Friday after my shift at the rehab center and decided to enjoy a quiet evening studying some of the articles given to me to read. After making my dinner and working out, I took a shower and bundled up in the bed with my articles, thankful that I could sleep in the next day.
Propping up on my pillows, I was about halfway through my second article when I heard a loud noise above me. It was distinct and purposeful, like someone had knocked over something in the dark. Immediately, my heart began to race and I tried to remain calm. This was years before people carried any kind of cell phone and the nearest phone that I could use was outside my bedroom in the middle of the family room.
After a long pause, I sighed, remembering my aunts’ cat and almost laughed at my own fear until I realized she was laying at my feet. This meant that there was no way she could have caused the noise. Even though I knew this, I still felt like there had to be logical explanation and hopefully I’d just left something on the edge of a counter and it had just slipped off the edge. After my mind sped through those options, I began to relax and leaned back again on the pillows. Within a few more seconds, another sound triggered my heart rate again—it was footsteps. Someone was in the house and there was no doubt about it this time. The footsteps continued and I could hear this person clearly moving above me.
Fear gripped my heart and all I could think to do was pray. I clasped my hands together and prayed a simple prayer:
“God, please protect me.”
Almost immediately, I felt calm and even though seconds before I could barely breathe, suddenly I was clear-headed and I knew what I needed to do. Slowly, I slipped out of my bed and flattened my body to the floor, moving toward the phone to call for help.
As I reached the phone, instead of calling 911, for some reason I called my mother. Whispering to her over the phone, I told her what was happening and she was so upset; but she told me to do something strange. I still don’t know why I called her first; but she made me hang up to call 911 but also do the other thing that seemed crazy. After I punched the numbers into the phone, I did what my mom told me to do: I shouted,
“I hear you! I’m calling the police!”
As soon as I the operator came on the phone, I could hear the person above me run toward the front door and exit the house. Within seconds, I relayed to the police operator what was happening and they sent help right away. After all the investigations, they determined that I had arrived home and startled a burglar, who in turn hid in a closet until he thought I was asleep. He was trying to sneak out when he heard me yell and he panicked and ran away. This event scared me so much that I had difficulty staying alone for some time; but I eventually conquered that fear. During that night, I remember just praying and crying out to God to keep me safe. The police told me that I was incredibly lucky and that I could have been murdered that night or in the very least, assaulted. For some reason, that man didn’t do either and for that I am thankful.
I believe with all my heart that God heard my prayer that night and He protected me. Why did I call my mom first? Why did she tell me to do that? She didn’t remember even telling me that the next day. It was so strange. All of it. And no one could explain any of it.
I sincerely, hope that you are never in a situation like that; but we are all scare of something at different times in our lives. Not just sudden gripping fear like I had that night; but fear that is gnawing at us and controlling our emotions in a way that God never intended. He tells us repeatedly (hundreds of times actually) not to fear and to trust in Him. This verse, though, says that “when I fear” so I think He fully expects us to have some fear at different times. When we do, He wants us to “put our trust in Him”. I can tell you that I had no other choice that night. I had to trust that He would keep me safe. I did all that I could but I was helpless and trapped. He rescued me and reminded me that He was and always is in control.
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
As a child, I was afraid of going into my basement. I remember running down and up to get something and singing at the top of my lungs, thinking that would help. When I was older, I was staying with an aunt when I had a horrible experience.
In Physical Therapy school, you do rotations that are similar to a residency but shorter. One of mine was in Birmingham, Alabama, where my mom’s twin sister lived. She had a wonderful room in her basement that opened out into a large family room, complete with workout equipment and a large TV.
One weekend, my aunt and uncle went out of town and I was left in the house alone. I came home on Friday after my shift at the rehab center and decided to enjoy a quiet evening studying some of the articles given to me to read. After making my dinner and working out, I took a shower and bundled up in the bed with my articles, thankful that I could sleep in the next day.
Propping up on my pillows, I was about halfway through my second article when I heard a loud noise above me. It was distinct and purposeful, like someone had knocked over something in the dark. Immediately, my heart began to race and I tried to remain calm. This was years before people carried any kind of cell phone and the nearest phone that I could use was outside my bedroom in the middle of the family room.
After a long pause, I sighed, remembering my aunts’ cat and almost laughed at my own fear until I realized she was laying at my feet. This meant that there was no way she could have caused the noise. Even though I knew this, I still felt like there had to be logical explanation and hopefully I’d just left something on the edge of a counter and it had just slipped off the edge. After my mind sped through those options, I began to relax and leaned back again on the pillows. Within a few more seconds, another sound triggered my heart rate again—it was footsteps. Someone was in the house and there was no doubt about it this time. The footsteps continued and I could hear this person clearly moving above me.
Fear gripped my heart and all I could think to do was pray. I clasped my hands together and prayed a simple prayer:
“God, please protect me.”
Almost immediately, I felt calm and even though seconds before I could barely breathe, suddenly I was clear-headed and I knew what I needed to do. Slowly, I slipped out of my bed and flattened my body to the floor, moving toward the phone to call for help.
As I reached the phone, instead of calling 911, for some reason I called my mother. Whispering to her over the phone, I told her what was happening and she was so upset; but she told me to do something strange. I still don’t know why I called her first; but she made me hang up to call 911 but also do the other thing that seemed crazy. After I punched the numbers into the phone, I did what my mom told me to do: I shouted,
“I hear you! I’m calling the police!”
As soon as I the operator came on the phone, I could hear the person above me run toward the front door and exit the house. Within seconds, I relayed to the police operator what was happening and they sent help right away. After all the investigations, they determined that I had arrived home and startled a burglar, who in turn hid in a closet until he thought I was asleep. He was trying to sneak out when he heard me yell and he panicked and ran away. This event scared me so much that I had difficulty staying alone for some time; but I eventually conquered that fear. During that night, I remember just praying and crying out to God to keep me safe. The police told me that I was incredibly lucky and that I could have been murdered that night or in the very least, assaulted. For some reason, that man didn’t do either and for that I am thankful.
I believe with all my heart that God heard my prayer that night and He protected me. Why did I call my mom first? Why did she tell me to do that? She didn’t remember even telling me that the next day. It was so strange. All of it. And no one could explain any of it.
I sincerely, hope that you are never in a situation like that; but we are all scare of something at different times in our lives. Not just sudden gripping fear like I had that night; but fear that is gnawing at us and controlling our emotions in a way that God never intended. He tells us repeatedly (hundreds of times actually) not to fear and to trust in Him. This verse, though, says that “when I fear” so I think He fully expects us to have some fear at different times. When we do, He wants us to “put our trust in Him”. I can tell you that I had no other choice that night. I had to trust that He would keep me safe. I did all that I could but I was helpless and trapped. He rescued me and reminded me that He was and always is in control.
October 21, 2017
Is God Listening?
Prayer seems so simple. We are told to just ask and God will hear us; but do you feel like you’ve been ignored?
Some time ago I went through a difficult time with my health. There seemed to be no answer medically and my symptoms only worsened over time. My weight was dropping and I was scary thin. I remember preparing myself for death and thinking through all that I needed to do in order to get my family settled. I started cleaning out cluttered areas and even gave away some of my clothes, trying to make it easier for my family if I passed away. The most difficult part was thinking about my precious daughters and my amazing husband. I was so grief-stricken for them, not just for myself; but then one day…I fell apart.
I tried to understand why God would let this happen to me and why would he give me such a great family and then strip me away from it all, leaving my children without a mother and my husband without a wife. It was then that I found myself helpless and alone and afraid…for the first time in my life.
Weeks of testing and thousands of dollars out of our own pocket were squeezed, leaving our family budget a mess as the doctors tried everything. For a while, I think that they might have even thought that I was having some type of psychological illness. Depression enveloped me but I choose to swallow it deep inside and never let anyone see how bad it really was. As my clothes hung from my body, I was annoyed when people said things like: “You look great!” I was under 100 pounds when one woman said this to me and I seriously thought about punching her in the mouth.
As I laid in bed each night, exhausted from not being able to eat anything, I would wait until my husband and children were asleep and I would either sneak down to the basement alone or lay in the darkness as quietly as possible and pray. I cannot express to you how lonely I felt. There was a deep and terrible pain that engulfed me and I couldn’t share it with my best friend (my husband) because he was grieving too and trying to hide his fear as well. We never said it but we both knew I was dying.
Heaven seemed silent, although I felt some comfort when I prayed. Why couldn’t I get better? Why had my body seemingly rejected food? The tests were all either inconclusive or negative, so in a way, I was glad they didn’t find cancer or something incurable; but not knowing and your body shutting down are just as bad at that point because there is no answer.
Without going into all the history, I was basically unable to eat anything without getting very sick or having terrible pain or both. Even water was difficult at times when my body would be at its worst levels of pain. The only thing I could do was sip on sweet tea to try to get some sugar in my body to stay alive. Occasionally, I would try to eat again and the pain would be back. Most of the time, I choose hunger over pain.
After multiple GI tests and a CT scan, they determined that maybe I should see my OBGYN since my mother had died of ovarian cancer. I’ll never forget when they found the mass that had been missed on the CT scan. There was a sudden change in the demeanor of the nurse and she quickly went to get a doctor. Within minutes, they were scheduling surgery and three days later I had a total hysterectomy and oophorectomy, where they found additional tumors on the other ovary as well that had also been missed on all other tests. Fortunately, all were benign.
My ordeal didn’t end there, but the pain levels were better and I could eat some again. Someday I may go into more detail; but let’s say that after that day, I still had another year of torment until my husband saw a pattern with my pain and my eating that led me to get off corn and wheat as much as possible and I can now say that I am about 99% symptom free today.
During those dark nights praying alone, I found something that I had never experienced before. At first, I was dedicated to prayer daily and then I became frustrated when nothing seemed to be helping. I would venture to say that I was actually mad at God for putting me in this situation and I didn’t know how to fix it. I don’t know when I downloaded this app, but it was definitely years before my ordeal. The Bible app gives me a verse of the day and one day it popped up on my phone. I missed it, so I tried to find it again and somehow ended on this verse instead:
Isaiah 55:9
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Staring at my phone, I could almost hear God saying for me to relax and that He had this. Trust Him. It will all be okay.
Part of me scoffed at the thought of relaxing but from that time forward I changed my prayers from “Please heal me” to “Please just help us find a way to get through this” and almost instantly I began to feel Him more every time I prayed. Something changed in my heart every day as I increased my prayers and stopped asking for Him to heal me. Incredibly, it was the very next day that my husband realized the pattern with my symptoms—something no one else had seen before even after creating a food diary for weeks.
Even though my body was never healed, I was able to find a path to eat again and now I’m healthy and happy and feel great. Without a doubt, I will always believe that He put the idea in my husband’s head about the relation of my diet and my illness.
This is the second time that God has taught me this lesson in such a drastic way and I’m sure He is amazed that it took so much to get my attention again. God knows me better than anyone and knew I would be okay; but even if I hadn’t, His ways are still better than mine. Whatever His path is for my life, I choose His.
The story is not over, though. Through all of my tests and problems, I learned an incredible amount of information that has helped me explain and understand much of what is happening with the children that I work with in my job as a pediatric PT. Any child with GI issues has my immediate sympathy and I’ve been able to help their families understand more about the issues as well as recognize them in advance. Even though my ordeal was less than pleasant; it has become such a blessing in my work to be able to help others with their journey.
I sincerely hope that you all are healthy, well, and happy; but remember that this is not what we are promised. Pain and trials are coming to us all and we can find our best hope on our knees.
Some time ago I went through a difficult time with my health. There seemed to be no answer medically and my symptoms only worsened over time. My weight was dropping and I was scary thin. I remember preparing myself for death and thinking through all that I needed to do in order to get my family settled. I started cleaning out cluttered areas and even gave away some of my clothes, trying to make it easier for my family if I passed away. The most difficult part was thinking about my precious daughters and my amazing husband. I was so grief-stricken for them, not just for myself; but then one day…I fell apart.
I tried to understand why God would let this happen to me and why would he give me such a great family and then strip me away from it all, leaving my children without a mother and my husband without a wife. It was then that I found myself helpless and alone and afraid…for the first time in my life.
Weeks of testing and thousands of dollars out of our own pocket were squeezed, leaving our family budget a mess as the doctors tried everything. For a while, I think that they might have even thought that I was having some type of psychological illness. Depression enveloped me but I choose to swallow it deep inside and never let anyone see how bad it really was. As my clothes hung from my body, I was annoyed when people said things like: “You look great!” I was under 100 pounds when one woman said this to me and I seriously thought about punching her in the mouth.
As I laid in bed each night, exhausted from not being able to eat anything, I would wait until my husband and children were asleep and I would either sneak down to the basement alone or lay in the darkness as quietly as possible and pray. I cannot express to you how lonely I felt. There was a deep and terrible pain that engulfed me and I couldn’t share it with my best friend (my husband) because he was grieving too and trying to hide his fear as well. We never said it but we both knew I was dying.
Heaven seemed silent, although I felt some comfort when I prayed. Why couldn’t I get better? Why had my body seemingly rejected food? The tests were all either inconclusive or negative, so in a way, I was glad they didn’t find cancer or something incurable; but not knowing and your body shutting down are just as bad at that point because there is no answer.
Without going into all the history, I was basically unable to eat anything without getting very sick or having terrible pain or both. Even water was difficult at times when my body would be at its worst levels of pain. The only thing I could do was sip on sweet tea to try to get some sugar in my body to stay alive. Occasionally, I would try to eat again and the pain would be back. Most of the time, I choose hunger over pain.
After multiple GI tests and a CT scan, they determined that maybe I should see my OBGYN since my mother had died of ovarian cancer. I’ll never forget when they found the mass that had been missed on the CT scan. There was a sudden change in the demeanor of the nurse and she quickly went to get a doctor. Within minutes, they were scheduling surgery and three days later I had a total hysterectomy and oophorectomy, where they found additional tumors on the other ovary as well that had also been missed on all other tests. Fortunately, all were benign.
My ordeal didn’t end there, but the pain levels were better and I could eat some again. Someday I may go into more detail; but let’s say that after that day, I still had another year of torment until my husband saw a pattern with my pain and my eating that led me to get off corn and wheat as much as possible and I can now say that I am about 99% symptom free today.
During those dark nights praying alone, I found something that I had never experienced before. At first, I was dedicated to prayer daily and then I became frustrated when nothing seemed to be helping. I would venture to say that I was actually mad at God for putting me in this situation and I didn’t know how to fix it. I don’t know when I downloaded this app, but it was definitely years before my ordeal. The Bible app gives me a verse of the day and one day it popped up on my phone. I missed it, so I tried to find it again and somehow ended on this verse instead:
Isaiah 55:9
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Staring at my phone, I could almost hear God saying for me to relax and that He had this. Trust Him. It will all be okay.
Part of me scoffed at the thought of relaxing but from that time forward I changed my prayers from “Please heal me” to “Please just help us find a way to get through this” and almost instantly I began to feel Him more every time I prayed. Something changed in my heart every day as I increased my prayers and stopped asking for Him to heal me. Incredibly, it was the very next day that my husband realized the pattern with my symptoms—something no one else had seen before even after creating a food diary for weeks.
Even though my body was never healed, I was able to find a path to eat again and now I’m healthy and happy and feel great. Without a doubt, I will always believe that He put the idea in my husband’s head about the relation of my diet and my illness.
This is the second time that God has taught me this lesson in such a drastic way and I’m sure He is amazed that it took so much to get my attention again. God knows me better than anyone and knew I would be okay; but even if I hadn’t, His ways are still better than mine. Whatever His path is for my life, I choose His.
The story is not over, though. Through all of my tests and problems, I learned an incredible amount of information that has helped me explain and understand much of what is happening with the children that I work with in my job as a pediatric PT. Any child with GI issues has my immediate sympathy and I’ve been able to help their families understand more about the issues as well as recognize them in advance. Even though my ordeal was less than pleasant; it has become such a blessing in my work to be able to help others with their journey.
I sincerely hope that you all are healthy, well, and happy; but remember that this is not what we are promised. Pain and trials are coming to us all and we can find our best hope on our knees.
April 22, 2017
Happy News!
More 5 star reviews for Quiver on a variety of sites are popping up!
Here is one of the latest on Reader's Favorite:
Quiver: Angels and Demons Volume 2 by Beth Green is an action packed novel that has it all. It has action, it has adventure, it has love, and it has an epic tale that you will want to read till the end and wish for another page. I am simply blown away by the book and the sheer artistry of Beth Green. She did a tremendous job of creating characters that you can relate to and actually feel a connection with.
The novel follows Jonathan, a man with a supernatural gift that is beyond the comprehension of any mortal man. His powers are a gift, but sometimes they are a huge burden as well. His power attracts the attention of the Angels, but his power attracts Demons too. Now his powers are becoming a danger for the woman he loves and he cannot have that. So he leaves without telling her where he is going, and he becomes more familiar with his powers. Only now, he is a much bigger and easier target for the Demons. What will happen now that Jonathan is out there in the open? Can the Angels keep him hidden from the Demons? Or will he become an easy target before he can get complete control of his powers.
Quiver: Angels and Demons Volume 2 by Beth Green is simply fantastic. Even though it is Christian fiction, anyone can enjoy it. As long as you are a fan of paranormal, action and adventure, you will love this novel. You will also love Jonathan for his determination and his desire to make things right in his life and the lives of the people around him. Beth Green did an amazing job with this novel and in creating Jonathan; he is a well rounded character that you respect a lot. This talented author has the gift of storytelling!
Here is one of the latest on Reader's Favorite:
Quiver: Angels and Demons Volume 2 by Beth Green is an action packed novel that has it all. It has action, it has adventure, it has love, and it has an epic tale that you will want to read till the end and wish for another page. I am simply blown away by the book and the sheer artistry of Beth Green. She did a tremendous job of creating characters that you can relate to and actually feel a connection with.
The novel follows Jonathan, a man with a supernatural gift that is beyond the comprehension of any mortal man. His powers are a gift, but sometimes they are a huge burden as well. His power attracts the attention of the Angels, but his power attracts Demons too. Now his powers are becoming a danger for the woman he loves and he cannot have that. So he leaves without telling her where he is going, and he becomes more familiar with his powers. Only now, he is a much bigger and easier target for the Demons. What will happen now that Jonathan is out there in the open? Can the Angels keep him hidden from the Demons? Or will he become an easy target before he can get complete control of his powers.
Quiver: Angels and Demons Volume 2 by Beth Green is simply fantastic. Even though it is Christian fiction, anyone can enjoy it. As long as you are a fan of paranormal, action and adventure, you will love this novel. You will also love Jonathan for his determination and his desire to make things right in his life and the lives of the people around him. Beth Green did an amazing job with this novel and in creating Jonathan; he is a well rounded character that you respect a lot. This talented author has the gift of storytelling!
April 17, 2017
How Far Will You Reach?
I was at a park today seeing a client for a therapy session and as I waited for my family to arrive, I watched a little boy and his big brother playing. The older boy was standing up on a platform and trying to help his younger brother climb; but the small boy was afraid. I heard the older boy say, "Come on, all you have to do is reach, I'll help you." I continued to watch as the smaller boy folded his arms, shook his head, and walked away. The older boy called out, "Okay, but you're gonna miss all the fun."
Something about that image of the older boy's outstretched hand touched me. I could visualize God reaching out for me when I was too scared to do something. I could almost hear him calling out to me, "Okay, but you're gonna miss all the fun." How many times do we simply walk away from the outstretched hand of God? I felt convicted as I saw the small boy not only walk away but shake his head and fold his arms, as if he would do anything else but not that.
Take a moment today and thank God for His patience with us. Surely, if an older brother promises to help his younger sibling, my Heavenly Father will help me when I'm in need. I pray that I have the ability to see His hand, the humility to accept his help, and the courage to reach out and do my part. I don't want to "miss all the fun" God has for me.
Psalm 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Something about that image of the older boy's outstretched hand touched me. I could visualize God reaching out for me when I was too scared to do something. I could almost hear him calling out to me, "Okay, but you're gonna miss all the fun." How many times do we simply walk away from the outstretched hand of God? I felt convicted as I saw the small boy not only walk away but shake his head and fold his arms, as if he would do anything else but not that.
Take a moment today and thank God for His patience with us. Surely, if an older brother promises to help his younger sibling, my Heavenly Father will help me when I'm in need. I pray that I have the ability to see His hand, the humility to accept his help, and the courage to reach out and do my part. I don't want to "miss all the fun" God has for me.
Psalm 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
April 16, 2017
He has risen!
It was a quiet morning…there were no Easter baskets or chocolate bunnies and certainly no egg hunts. There were no pictures by the front porch spring flowers in the new dresses and suits. The two Mary’s went to the tomb to find it empty. An angel appeared to them to tell them not to be afraid and that Jesus had risen. How strange that must have been…how unlikely anyone would believe them…
Many have written about the significance of Jesus appearing to the women first. About how women were not considered very important and how He must have come to them as He did in the manger and later on the cross...to the lowest place to be...making it the most important today.
Consider this:
A manger was considered dirty and filthy and no one would have dared place a baby there...now we fill our homes with scenes from the stable with the baby Jesus in His manger.
A cross was one of the most vile forms of torture and death...now we wear them around our necks and place them throughout our homes and churches as symbols of hope and victory over sin and death.
A woman was considered property--not worth much and easily discarded. Jesus came to the women first...showing His view of them as being worthy and valuable.
He was laid to rest in a borrowed tomb…leaving this world as poor as he had arrived…
He has risen…He has risen indeed!
Many have written about the significance of Jesus appearing to the women first. About how women were not considered very important and how He must have come to them as He did in the manger and later on the cross...to the lowest place to be...making it the most important today.
Consider this:
A manger was considered dirty and filthy and no one would have dared place a baby there...now we fill our homes with scenes from the stable with the baby Jesus in His manger.
A cross was one of the most vile forms of torture and death...now we wear them around our necks and place them throughout our homes and churches as symbols of hope and victory over sin and death.
A woman was considered property--not worth much and easily discarded. Jesus came to the women first...showing His view of them as being worthy and valuable.
He was laid to rest in a borrowed tomb…leaving this world as poor as he had arrived…
He has risen…He has risen indeed!
